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You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…
Reform the House of Lords | Nigel Farage
Labour Members Don’t Believe Ed Can Be PM | Rafael Behr
How China Bought Britain | London Loves Business
Why Dave Shouldn’t Check His Twitter | Buzzfeed
Young People Getting More Libertarian | ConHome
How to Write a Dan Hodges Column | Left Foot Forward
Politicians Made This Mess | Douglas Carswell
Magna Carta – Walking in King John’s Footsteps | Anna Raccoon
How to Stop Reckless Bankers | Guido Fawkes
Tories Double Younger Support | Guardian
Public Prefers Boris to Dave | Times
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Andrew Pierce on Ed Balls…
“Porky Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls sweet-talked guests at a fund-raising dinner by saying if he wasn’t a politician, he would be a chef. That’s not surprising, since he was accused of cooking the Treasury books when he was Gordon Brown’s boot boy.”
Bloody foreigners, coming over here taking all our twitter followers
Does i get a mention?
This weeks winner
Oks , am really chuffed to have won so will calm down now.
#sorryforgoingabitott
My name is John Rentool and I endorse Billy’s botty.
Billy just couldn’t beleive his eyes
When he saw he’d one this weeks prize
He said to be sure
I shall submit many more
It just shows what I can do when I tries
oops ‘won’ – comprehensive education but hopefully Billy won’t notice
rather appropriate, don’t you think?
So Billy is finally a winner?
He owes me; the miserable sinner.
The guy’s so uncouth.
He came in my booth
And caused me to throw up my dinner.
Aren’t we lucky to have inconsistancies in pronunciation – otherwise you may have had to rhyme couth with mouth rather than booth
A commenter, daft name of Billy
Posted comments inane, misspelled and plain silly
If he posts one more tweet
I shall spring to my feet
And stamp on the willy of Billy.
Lest the Bowden poster that we adore
Should retell this and publish much more
It should only be cricket
To send one way ticket
To the airport at Ulan Bator.
I’s laughin my arse off at Para
An wishin I weren’t stuck in Arra .
If he had a bike
I’d open my dyke
An show him the trick wiv the marra .
I hopes ya has a good weekend , guys ♥
A persistent poster called billy
left posts that were unfunny and silly
so Guido took pity on his unfunny ditty
and a teeshirt he Dispatched willy nilly
Selohesra.
You forget the double / treble rhyming anomalies catastrophic for foreigners not in the know. .Apologies for being a language nerd.
Some of these poems aren’t good enough
They resemble a viper discarding his slough
But those with value ,
Might emerge from the slough
Even in Slough which rejects all the rough.
Paragnostic , Frankie,
EAnon, catSelohesra did not crop up in all that
Pronunciation upon sight
Is not good for Kirkcudbright.
Amo, amas, amat.
(…amamus amatis amant.)
When showing the quirks of a tongue
But getting the meter quite wrong
It is often advised -
A word to the wise -
Recite your lines – just like a song.
http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=what+defines+an+English+person
That has been up and down the listings like a bride’s nighty.
Though Scotsmen enjoy the pibroch
As they sit with their love by the loch
All of this pales,
Coz I much prefer Wales
Give me Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
And our Para he speaks about meter?
When the measure for me is the litre
Though English well travelled,
My Linguistics unravelled
Where the tongue tends to twist with the titre
SHIT. Just pe-ad myself
Though Scotsmen enjoy the pibroch
As they sit with their love by the loch
All of this pales,
Coz I much prefer Wales
Give me Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
And our Para he talks about meter?
When the measure for me is the litre
Though English well travelled,
My Linguistics unravelled
Where the tongue tends to twist with the titre
And a very goodnight to all.
If you’re looking for anapaest formulae
To descibe the dramatis personae
It is often the norm
To use non-ligature form
To avoid hyperbolic parabolae
Resorting to Latinate endings
Though it rhymes, causes no end of bendings
As the Socialist brain
Creaks under the strain
Of their schooldays of make-dos-and-mendings.
Some words of advice, Billy:
Class post @ above. Here’s another:
TOGWT was pretty neat, was it not?
Hmmm. N__i__c__e !!
*Disappears in a cloud of Lebaneasy*
‘Neat’? I doubt if in its whole time on air anyone called it ‘neat’. Or ‘Swell’.
Wackerman is such a great name, given your chosen field of endeavor
Some people try so hard to achieve something , that the rest of us know they will never attain
Eventually the prize master will get sick to death of being harassed to the point of suicide
and he then realise’s that a fuckin two quid tee shirt is little price to pay for some
Peace and Quiet !
Frankie. Gu-ido and Ne-o are getting off lightly indeed.
I made a rash bet on an old Silvio Berlusoni thread for 50 quid that Silvio would survive the week and lost.
Donation under the name of Guido Fawkes duly made to Help for Heroes.
Under various nom de plumes [this one too]I have put pressure on our hosts to commit to their promises. They deserve to suffer any dent to their pride for delaying any presentation to those who may win the competitions they place.
BTW Who won today’s one.?
Billy hard to believe, but the spunk stain goes round the front
Watch out Guido, Billy B is behind you! O yes he is!
Can someone please explain, if Cameron has vetoed it, how are the other 26 doing it? I thought if vetoed it stops the rest from doing it.
No, the Germans wanted every EU country to commit suicide together, and for some picky reason Cameron declined. So the rest, run by servile little creeps who have submitted to German domination, are off to drink the hemlock together.
That other servile little creep, Milimong, is really miffed because he thinks we should be quaffing the poison, too.
I can understand it being call an opt out but not veto. All the media are saying Cameron vetoed it, so can someone please explain it?
Cameron vetoed it as a full EU treaty. Logically, the 17 members of the Eurozone should now agree to a treaty amongst themselves, and the other 9 EU members should steer well clear of what will ultimately be a catastrophic failure.
But their “leaders” appear to think that they can influence events in the Eurozone to their advantage, and so are going to play along with the Shortarzy / Hausfrau plan and make Rusty look isolated. They haven’t got a strong financial sector to protect, so think that by playing along they can look good for little cost. When the shit hits the Euro fan, though, they will be expected to clean it up along with the 17, and it will cost them dear.
The BBC are spinning this story though,
yes 17 mugs have signed up the rest haven’t they have gone home to think about it.
Not quite the united europe they are all talking about.
They are doing it with their own money, not ours.
Next time you raise an outstretched palm to the diminutive Frog, Cameron, slap the insolent fucker. It will secure a second term, believe me.
Looks like UK is out of EU, only way they can use EU institution once UK had vetoed a treaty is to kick UK out of EU. I don’t know whether Cameron realises it or not but seems UK is out.
Effectively, you are correct – we will be like MLK – “Free at last!”
Getting out of the E.U.S.S.R. would be like divorcing Rab C Nesbit.
I will walk alone
AC1 says:
December 9, 2011 at 10:12 pm
We might lose Scotland soon, with that veto in UN will go as well. Rab C Nesbit (Boris) seems to be playing the flute to make Cameron dance!
If they try to take the veto from us can’t we just veto it?
fine by me if they do take it, no more troops dying for money.
What exactly has Dave vetoed? We didn’t have a veto over changes to financial regulations last week (since they are passed by QMV) and we continue to not have a veto after last night’s summit. So if the EU wish to neuter the City (not that the Tobin tax was ever on the table) then we’d have to continue to bend over and take it up the chuff as we currently do.
I think Dave’s played a canny game but not in the way the cheerleaders on here seem to think. If he hadn’t vetoed this then the nature of the subsequent treaty would have meant that he’d have to call a referendum or else have his head handed to him on a platter by his backbenchers. He took the path of least resistance. The spat is manufactured allowing Sarkosy to gripe to his electorate about “perfidious Albion” whilst giving Dave the figleaf of decisiveness and acting in Britain’s interest. Don’t be fooled, the only interest that this oleaginous piece of shit acts in is his own.
Tax changes aren’t passed by QMV, so we would have had a veto on the proposed transaction taxes. No doubt you want to see all the tax take from the City go to Hong Kong, but it ain’t going to happen just yet.
Tobin tax was never on the table.
You Sir are a blithering idiot.
“Thousands of Westminster followers get it every week,”
I doubt that very much.
If there’s something right now that’s getting fucked it’s the Euroserfs.
It’s probably SENT to them, and they RECEIVE it, if it isn’t “spammed” out, and they may even look at it in the odd spare moment, but you’re right– they won’t “get” it.
They. Just. Don’t.
BBC’S Matthew Umwolladingdong was just interviewing a guy from the city. They must have had a mix up as this guy said Cameron had done the right thing. He also added that Germany, France and the others had an alterior motive in wanting to tax the banks. He basically said the countries had borrowed too much money. REFRESHING TO HEAR THE TRUTH ON THE BBC.
Normal service will be resumed immediately.
Apologies for the slip-up
And, of course, Britain did not borrow too much
ROFL out of sight
It’s not the debt it’s the borrowing costs that are the problem
please keep up.
Matthew Umwolladingdong will be sent on agenda awareness treating.
He was literally lost for words. So was the Guardian guy on the other end of his ear pierce.
Though at 7ish he did manage to let Lord libdum something or other drone on for 10 mins. telling us we are all going to die as we didn’t sign our own death warrant.
He obviously had a little retraining between 4 & 7.
Just in the interest of balance dontchano.
Well done Billy. But you ain’t the greatest umpire.
Infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me!
…Fuck it, reply to #5.
I am keeping a dirty caravan and am looking for scrubbers.
Have the BBC demonstrated beyond any doubt today that they are not biased, but totally committed to prostituting itself to socialism and nothing at all to do with Public Service Broadcasting.
They have simply behaved to type. Scrounging gits. Its time to cut the BBC’s channels into many little seperate bits and make them survive or fail in an open market without a tax-backed monopoly.
Have the BBC demonstrated beyond any doubt today that they are not biased, but totally committed to prostituting themselves to spreading the word for socialism and nothing at all to do with Public Service Broadcasting.
Can we please have this government tear it down and sell it off, at a loss if needs be!!
Let’s face it, the whole British establishment is coloured pink.
just like my snatch!
They’re getting desperate now: having exhausted all their own bile, they’re borrowing some from Euroland:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16114902
It will all be much better when I am your pwime minister.
Have you finished photocopying my expenses yet ???
Is Balls having a day off today? Slacker.
PS – FTse up 0.83% on the day, so obviously rattled by Cameron’s madness in Brussels.
Please replace black toner. (It’s all those redactions of yours.)
Go away Miliband, you are just a yapping poodle.
I thinnk you are being a bit unfair to poodles.
This Miliband bloke sounds like he thinks he’s something important, and so does the bloke in the studio. Did he win an election or something?
Yes – he won the Trades Unions “Stab Your Brother in the Back and Win!” telethon a year and a bit ago. Sadly, all he won was the leadership of a moribund and bankrupt party.
So where’s Yvette Cooper, I was promised a shag?
AH (C)
The gamine Yvette is practicing her best big, gruff voice in preparation for the next series of “Stab Your Brother in the Back!”, hoping that she can pass for Ed Balls’ brother and win the prize.
Unfortunately, she cannot accept shags from former comedians / workshop manual publishers at the moment.
I’m always up for it !
more of a shih tzu
I am just loving the comments over at the Guardian CiF – The boggle-eyed Euro-Fascists are foaming at the mouth and threatening to leave the country.
Good, speaking as one of the Diaspora after 1997, I hope they enjoy living in their Marxist shit-hole wherever they choose to settle!
I’m coming home now as I’ve got my country back!
I’d hang about for a few months if I was you mate. The country is not ‘back’ until the result of the forthcoming referendum is known.
Well Cameron has excelled. I take back what I said about him being the next NevilleChamberlain.
Now apparently he is considering withdrawing our troops from Afghanistan early. That would be a 2nd very sound move.
Any chance of auctioning off the BBC to the highest bidders?
The BBBC is a poisoned chalice, like HMSO turned out to be. The best hope is for a media organisation to accept a premium for taking it off the taxpayers’ hands. And they’d be mad not to demand independently produced accounts in advance- those property transactions hide a multitude of sins…
Chamberlain was greeted by cheering crowds when he returned from Munich with that piece of paper.
Can’t see huge numbers of people turning out to greet Call me Dave.
Doctors are checking his x rays for signs of a newly grown spine.
You aint fucking english, any of ya.
Just look at that Ed Milli-whats-it. Not fucking English at all.
Good to see that you have reverted back to your old self Nell in maintaining reserved optimism. Difficult to put ones head above the parapet when T-ory / UKIP supporters are running around like headless chickens demanding Dave’s head on a stick.
Only dead fish follow the stream and together we must now cross our fingers that Cameron will continue the good work.
Unfortunately, despite your eloquance in stating your discomfort of various UK systems [visible from your own copy on your blog] the instigation of an E-petition to question the workings of the BBC would fall, I believe, on deaf ears. Few other TV media gives as much exposure to politics as the useless Beeb, yet for all politicians every drop of propaganda they can generate is paramount.
Re: the Beeb maybe so. But I think they are past their sell by date. And I do think that like the Euro they will come to a short sharp end in my lifetime. At least I hope so.
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.
W.Churchill
Re your hopes for the Euro I must abstain. Am happy that travelling has reduced the necessity to hold a mass of foreign monopoly money in different currencies in my pockets
Other peoples in economic slavery is outweighed by your travelling convenience (which in the days of global connectivity make paper currencies rather pointless)??
Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety
You’re not even supporting giving up their liberty for safety!
I voted to send troops into every war, and i’ll be the first to pull the survivors out.
HUZZAH!
Maybe he did but he didn’t tell the blatant lies that put us there. Now for a starter of ten who was it that told that lie? hmm?!
I saw through it from the start, which is why i went along hook, line and sinker.
Not got the balls to answer the question then? Thought as much.
When my political career’s on the line, you can rely on me to champion the interests of the British people.
bliar on the other hand spent his entire career feathering his nest and planning his £millions and never once put the best interests of the British people before himself!
You’ve been played, sucker! I
It was agreed with Merkozy last month that Dave would veto this treaty change, and why? Well, I’m pretty sure that Dave told them that any changes to the Lisbon treaty to accommodate fiscal union would have resulted in an unstoppable demand from his backbenchers for the referendum that Dave always “promised”. Now we all know that giving the people a say in EU land is a no-no so this was the best option – Dave nixes this treaty change and the 26 go off and agree a separate treaty. No UK referendum required.
Simple question, what powers has Dave repatriated that you didn’t have last week? You’ve been played and you don’t even know it!
Good evening Guido
I just want to add to Cameron’s supberb two fingers to Europe by adding what Sir Adrian Carton de Wiart VC, Churchill’s personal envoy to Poland in 1940 said on crossing the Romanian frontier (in hasty retreat) :
“There are only three sorts of Romanians : they are either pimps, pederasts or violinists and blood few are violinists”. He then repeated this observation in French for the benefit of the sentry, who saluted in blank incompehension and waved them through.
This British superb needs class to carry it off..
And a romantic abandon that young Cammy lacks, sadly…
The quotes are en extract from the autobiography of Sir Peter Wilkinson DSO, one of the leading members of SOE during WW II
So I hope there will be no censorship here… FFS
No-one at M15 has ever held back the truth from the gaze of the public after all.
Listening to radio2 on my car radio ,I know, the idiot who was on was reading out tweets, most were on Camorons side but the best one said that Brown was a great statesman, I had to stop the car to carry on pissing myself laughing, oh the day was windy and cold and hailstones but the political warmth was enjoyable
did he have a scottish accent? Also mention saving the world?
And, of course, all w o g s begin at Calais
What a superbly moderna
modern, forward looking and realistic Prime Minister
Hung drawn and quaertered by a bunch of of backbench Talibani…
Even worse that the Maximum Imbecile
Cameron has no art, no manner and no intelligence…
Evening, Cleggy.
Poor Cleggy take your hand out of Camorons arse for a few seconds to scratch your balls and the puppet carried on working all by itself , shame your programming was as crap as your orders from the EU.
So you would like a PM who goes to Brussels and allows our financial sector to get bent over and raped by a bunch of idiot politicians and technocrats who couldn’t stop borrowing to fund current expenditure and now need a scapegoat for their stupidity, would you?
Well, you can’t, because Labour lost. Get over it.
Lost over 100 seats. I
….wonder why….
Ha, ha, ha, the EU, in it’s current format is finished. Obviously, you were never considered important enough to recieve the memo.
WTF is the Eurozone crisis? It seems to me to be quite simple. A lot of rsoles have borrowed, beyond any realistic means of repaying, far beyond their means. You either write off their debts and start again, or try to bleed them dry in order to keep the loan sharks one step away from meltdown.
The big problem is, who is this “You” who must write off the debts. If the “You” is you will you write off your pensnion or life savings? Will you fuck! iIt’s only simple because you think you’re not implicated.
Well (I normally agree with you but), it really is that simple…
You’re not going to be paid back.
Except through currency that’s value is inflated away to about 20% of par.
or tax the financial institutions in London. Piss off Merkel and the rest, it’s our tax not yours. And if the financial institutions were in Berlin or Paris would they agree to a bank levy to be shared by the UK. Fuck no!
Next time, lube me up to the max before requiring me to be arsefucked on BBC news.
Thank you.
Nick, nobody cares. You are a dead man walking.
Mr Guido, I must express my happiness that Mr Cameron told all those horrible civilised Europeans to go to hell
It leaves lovely decadent and irrelevant “offshore” Britain as a haven for me to continue to pillage and then hide my gains in the City of London awith all its lovely bent lawyers and live the life of O’Reilly (one of your cousins I think ?)
And purchase the odd media or football club just for fun…
This country and the UK financial services industry welcomes investment from Russia. I would be happy to come out to Russia to help smooth your paths into the UK, particularly if the usual inducements are involved.
Gosh, new Labour had nothing to do with oligarchs, did it?
Mandelson – Deripaska? Cough…
I love Cammy
LOL
Ed Miliband thinks Cameron has made a terrible mistake by not signing the eurofudge treaty.
Would some interviewer please ask him if he WOULD have signed it, instead of letting him waffle on about splits and fringes.
“You would have signed the treaty, even if it was not in the nation’s interests?”
“This walking away was wrong while negotiations are still ongoing …”
“He should have signed, or he shouldn’t? You say he’s wrong, so you must feel the treaty is worth signing?”
“”While negotiations are still going on..this non signing was wrong.Cameron should get back round the table and …”
“Yes or no, Mr Miliband? Would you sign it? Labour signed Lisbon, even though it was bad for Britain. Would you sign this and have hobbled the UK financial centres, whilst transferring UK taxes from financial transactions to the EU? That’s what you would sign?”
“This not signing is are wrong whilst negotiations are…”
“I’ll ask you once more..and if you don’t answer properly, we’ll cut this segment from the news, Ok?”
Labour say everything is wrong. That includes labour of course. What a stupid, stupid person is Miliband.
Mouth in gear, brain in neutral, comes to mind!!
Lol…excellent!
One almost feels sorry for the sad bastard. When he inevitably gets dumped by the Parteh, what will he do? He has no skills, no profession, no experience nor even an apprenticeship. Fuck, I doubt he has the strength to flip a burger.
The dole queue beckons. One day he’ll rue the day his dad was too tight to have paid for a proper education for him.
Nope. He’ll be after emulating his mentor – kinnochio will explain to him in 3 easy steps how to become an eu commissioner and make yourself a millionaire with at least four taxpayer funded gold plated pensions!
Ed Milliband on solving the housing problems.
Miliband’s just a fucking mistake. Not just a mistake as leader of his party (which is obvious, because they didn’t want him), but a mistake in life. He really shouldn’t have been born.
Well to be fair Tess his cack handed efforts at being a labour party leader are entertaining to watch!
I don’t find it entertaining, I think it’s excruciating. Like “Borat”. The Parasite Party are leaving him out there, flailing around like the cretin he is, and it’s not funny. Day in, day out, the poor stupid bastard is being humiliated. And for what? Nothing.
The unions and the Parasite Party’s politburo are just cruel to leave him like this.
At least Borat has a solution for Miliband – something involving a well, I seem to recall…
I love the Euro.
We should join it before it disappears and its too late.
I love the Euro.
We should join it before it vanishes altogether and its too late.
Get your skates on then, Merkozy are just realising that they are in the hole for the entire debt for the EUrozone. How long before they bail for the exit?
Sarkozy is going to be voted out of office within the next 6 months. So he’s not going to carry the can for his bad decisions – He can pack up his millions and hare off into the sunset with his famous wife who doesn’t, in her own words, understand monogamy or marriage.
Can’t think she’ll be wanting to stop with the poisoned french dwarf once he has no power.
I don’t think Shortarse Sarkozy has any power now, let alone in six months’ time.
It’s Merkel who’s calling the shots in the Neuro-zone. Thank fuck we’re out of it.
Cameron should send over an ageing rock-star “Commando” to take out Sarky’s missus. We know Jagger has fucked her but what about some others? Plant, Daltry, Ozzy Osbourne, why even Keith Richard should be hauled out of retirement. This is Britain’s hour of need and Sarkozy needs knocking down a peg or two.
Quite hard to knock Sarko down. If it wasn’t for his high-heel shoes, he’d be just about on a level with the floor as it is.
LOL! Eng that’s funny!
Beats having to carry an Alan Ladd box around Eng.
Besides I still find cuban heels even at 6 feet tall to be fashionable. Throw back to the sixties I expect having lived near Carnaby Street when the mode came into fashion.
I reckon Lemmy should be conscripted for duty.
@Gonk – so Lemmy’s finished doing the Nolan Sisters, then?
who’d win the shaggathon bercow or brunni?
No use buying Ed Miliband the game of Cluedo this christmas.
I hear there is a new game called Clueless on the market, only 1.5 trillion EUros a pop.
After years of trying Guido is pleased to reveal that uber-commenter “Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever !” has finally won a caption contest:
NO No anything Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo please no ARTghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
A message for Dave !
It’s better to live one day of your life as a Tiger
Than live your whole life as a Mouse !
Mark Weir RIP !
Just been in the Wesrminster Arms and overheard this
Barman says to Guido”Your glass is empty. Do you want another one?”
Guido says
“Why the fuck would l want two empty glasses?”
You’re a legend Guido
Billy and Guido ordering drinks:
Billy: “I’ll have a pint.”
Guido: “Same for me, make sure it’s a clean glass, will you?”
Barman returns a minute later with the order.
Barman: “Now, which of you wanted the clean glass, again?”
Napoleon dreamed of it, De Gaulle fought for it, but Nicolas Sarkozy may have achieved it — a Europe of Nations with France in the cockpit and Britain on the sidelines.
By obstructing the wish of the other EU members to amend the bloc’s governing Lisbon treaty to allow closer fiscal union among the 17-nation single currency area, British Prime Minister David Cameron managed to unite Europe against him.
He may be feted by Eurosceptics at home, but he emerged as the biggest diplomatic loser of the summit, leading his country into an isolation that all his predecessors sought to avoid.
For centuries, a basic principle of British diplomacy was to maintain a balance of power on the European mainland forming shifting alliances with the main continental powers.
Cameron not only failed to win a blanket veto right over EU financial services legislation. The illusion of leading a group of 10 non-euro member states like Sweden and Poland, committed to a more liberal, open economy, crumbled as his supposed allies threw in their lot with the euro zone.
oh, dear me….
Thank you dear boy. The cheque’s in the post.
speaking to the polish today their answer was you should have done it 50 yrs ago
oh dear history is a funny thing when your a country teached by commies.
basic summary for idiots
- germay attacks poland
- france around 1m troops on the border march a couple of miles into germany
-germans shoot them
- french run away
- british bomb german ports on day 1 of germany attacking poland as they have no army in europe
-poles get battered by the hun and commies
-poles flee to uk and do well best raf regiment
-end of ww2 uk double crosses them and lets stalin rule them
-poles join the eu and enjoy the uk
-poles government surrender to germans bribes
tbc
Bloke on the left doesn’t sound very Russian. May be he shold try an accent?
Token, even the Russians have ‘em.
Guido Gram going out shortly, “I may be gone for some time”.
Looking for his Oats no doubt
Wrong Popish Plot. (But Guido’s been sowing wild Oates for years.)
Lest we forget ! at least four of these countries have to get the new treaty past their parliaments !
Who is that little rubber faced bloke in a suit , who keeps coming on the telly slagging off the Tories ?
CBBS
Whilst Miliband is really quite dozy
He not quite as bad as Sarkozy
Who will go down in infamy
For selling out to Germany
Yet still the Euros future ain’t rosy
A Frenchman, quite short and quite soused
Was bored with both Rimbaud and Proust
He met a Hausfrau
And just look at him now –
The poor soul just imitates Faust!
Or that Dorian Grey fellow.
The top ten latest Lefty buzz words!
1. Isolation
2. seclusion
3. aloneness
4. detachment
5. exile
6. remoteness
7. retreat
8. segregation
9. solitude
10. withdrawal
= Freedom
Oh come on !
It’s not little Ed’s fault he’s not popular !
Yes it is.
The top ten Indicators of a Euro delusion!
1. The leader expresses an idea or belief with unusual persistence or force.
2. That idea appears to exert an undue influence on the leader’s life, and the way of life is often altered to an inexplicable extent.
3. Despite his/her profound conviction, there is often a quality of secretiveness or suspicion when the leader is questioned about it.
4. The individual tends to be humorless and oversensitive, especially about the belief.
5. No matter how unlikely it is that these strange things are happening to him/her, the leader accepts them relatively unquestioningly.
6. An attempt to contradict the belief is likely to arouse an inappropriately strong emotional reaction, often with irritability and hostility.
7. The belief is, at the least, unlikely, and out of keeping with the leader’s social, cultural and religious background.
8. The leader is emotionally over-invested in the idea and it overwhelms other elements of their psyche.
9. The delusion, if acted out, often leads to behaviors which are abnormal and/or out of character, although perhaps understandable in the light of the delusional beliefs.
10. Individuals who know the leader personally observe that the belief and behaviours are uncharacteristic and alien to them.
Reality of signing up to Euro fanatics ruinous ideas.
Would be like roping yourself up to the 17 worst climbers in the world and attempting to climb everest.
As that Italian politician said, we gave up Euro power for freedom.
Give me freedom any day. because freedom is power, the power we should all strive for.
They think the Euro will go on and on, it will NOT, they think this delusional E17 straight jacket bullshit will work, it will FAIL!
Better off out of it and let the markets rip them a new one.
Never really listened to him before. The man talks sense!
This is the guy who should have been Conservative Leader before PR Dave was selected for his oh so smooth talk
Dave “Man of Steel” Cameron while we have these fuckers on the ropes can we tell them to fuck off with their climate change measures !
Lets reopen the mines
build some new coal fired power stations
un mothball our steel foundries
Come on “This is Britain , Birthplace of the industrial revolution !
Lets get them Chimneys Smokin ! Jobs for All !
You may think what he did was for Britain, what he did was for himself, he knew if he signed up he was finished, let’s not get too excited the clock is still ticking and he could still walk away with a nice Euro pension tax free, if he gives us a referendum and tops the cake with BBC sell off icing then I will believe him.
Never been a better time to get shut of the Labour party propaganda arm !
especially now they employ that thieving fat lump of shite, formally known as Jack Smith ! Still feeding off the public , even though they booted her lardy arse out of office !
To be fair the same could be said of Portillo.
and do what exactly?
It’s fulfilling demand, not building stuff because you can that creates wealth. You should perhaps move to centrally planned China and enjoy their economic bubble bursting.
Interesting. The swedish finance minister says less than10% of swedes are sympathetic to the eu.
They will be assimilated in to the collective.
For now. But the eu empire is collapsing – like the Roman one before it but faster.
The euro empire will certainly not exist 20 years from now. It’s only been going 9 years and it’s already in decline!!!
You are 17 of 26. There is one who has escaped the collective, his name Captain James D. Cameron. He must be found, send for the Brown Terminator.
Never put swedes and brussels of the same plate.
My computer has started to type words it wants, rather than words I want and type quite carefully in. It happens particularly on Google but also in other places. Familiar?
Never put swedes and brussels on the same plate.
Is there any correlation with alcohol consumption? No causation necessarily, of course…
Good Heavens!
What a suggestion!
Intravenous ingestion usually solves that.
Not sure if you can ingest intravenously. I understand that defecation (no, not now, Mark) is not actually excretion, as it has not passed into the venal or endocrine systems, and carries nothing out of the body which wasn’t put in. There is however an argument that the addition of bile from the pancreas meant that there is an element of excretion.
I fail to see how the Islets of Langerhans can affect the various assembled items of equipment between user and desk, commonly known as a laptop.
Don’t go all Hebridean on me now, cat.
You’d need a bloody small boat to sail round them!
Hate brussels like swedes! ( well parsnips which are the same family)
I love them all actually nell. Even pеas!!!
But when you get to my young age, you have to take your pleasures where you can…
Don’t miss Tom Fatson making a twat of himself on Have i got news for you in ten minutes. I hope he tries to make jokes and fails miserably.
Watching Gardener’s World on other side
Gardener’s World is far superior, Enjoy!
Ah Yes twatson the man who spends his time playing on-line fantasy role model games.
Role player games, Nell!
Twatson wouldn’t know a role model if it bit him in the McNuggets.
Oh Sorry! Slip of the tongue!
Roll playing games.
There. Fixed it for you.
http://t.co/M3OOBlE0
Oh dear, Twatson scored an own goal. Have I Got was recorded yesterday, before Cameron used his veto. Watson said Cameron would go to Brussels and do whatever Merkel tells him.
++++Laugh++++
poor old twatson always destined to be a twit!
Vicious, unprincipled and backstabbing – but always a twit!
So Twatson (and Labour) now think Cameron’s great?
Yesterday, they hated Cameron because he “would” sign the treaty, today they hate him because he wouldn’t.
What a bunch of thick opportunist cunts.
No wonder the trolls are absent.
OMG! OMG! Dan Han is my Hero!
Such brain power! So much common sense! When are they going to make him Chancellor??!!
I totally agree nell, if I was female I’d bend over take his cock and have all his babies in nine months time.
Totally unshown in the later news programmes, on any channel as far as I could see. As you say, the voice of common sense.
Also saw the former economic adviser to Blair on the Jeff Randall Sky News channel. I was fully expecting him to be the usual leftie twat in Blanchflower mode, only to agree with everything he said. Followed immediately by Tullett Prebon’s CEO being asked by Joey Jones (definitely not Randall quality) how much he disagreed with the adviser. Jones was undoubtedly shocked by their full agreement. Worth a look on the Sky News website – about 27 mins in I think
Most reassuring, thankyou, Sir Norman, really I do not know what all the fuss is about, this is an Island, as long as we have the right Government looking after our interests overseas, who on this planet would need Europe.
Tom Watson appeared on tonights Have I Got News For You. True to his labour roots he contributed nothing. I bet hospitality ran for cover!
I’ve put some mistletoe up in work to help get into the Christmas spirit.
Some of the blokes in the urinal seem quite uncomfortable with the whole concept.
Just kiss and tell.
Don’t tie it around your bollocks Billy.
My comment 9:33 mentioned Tom Watson and is under moderation. Is Guido running scared?
Sometimes, not very often, i just get to know things in my knower. And I know that Great Britain today changed course and I believe it was a change for the better.
+1
+5
+10
Got to hand it to Dave, even Margaret Thatcher did not play the single veto card and she wasn’t tied in with a coalition government.
Perhaps there is mileage in this coalition thing afterall. They made a pact not to hand over any more powers to Brussels and that pact has made it possible to keep a promise.
Goodness knows where Red Ed is in all of this, perhaps he would have turned up a day later and signed off on the Merkozy cunning plan.
Frankly, David Cameron mithhandled the negotiationth thpectacularly.
I would have acquiethed, becauthe I am a thpineleth little thociliatht thit.
I don’t think Maggie was faced with the EU being so desperate to keep itself going in the face of unassailable shite.
What I would like to know from the bedwetters is how, if they want to agree that we should be signing up with the new treaty, they could continue to borrow whatever they want. After all, the new pact limits deficits to 3% and debt to unspecified levels. No wonder Balls is silent.
Exactly. The pact completely and utterly destroys Ed Miliband’s party’s raison d’être – if it can’t tax and spend at will, to rack-up crippling debt and piss the money away on complete shit – there’s no point to it.
Only a complete retard with the Parasite Party – Miliband – would be *for* the pact.
We knew Miliband was retarded, we just didn’t know how phenomenally retarded he actually is.
+1×10↑23
And bizarrely, yet to be pointed out by anybody in public.
I bet that DC has terrible Scotchman’s horrors now that we’re all on our lonesome. Ha, really. He’s (possibly unintentionally) set into motion something quite close to my wishes, and I think those of much of Britain. The fact that Sarkozy was such a branleur during the negotiation will only help things progress. Kept seeing on TV that the LibDems are apparently livid, but nobody interviewed as yet. Hoping to catch that a bit later so that I can laugh at the tossers.
Ha, but what really happened?, like nothing.
Doffs hat at Dave.
+6.9
You know what I totally agree with you, throughout the History of this Island we really do not need anyone to wipe out backsides!
You are very knowledgeable.
Get those pro-EU biased twats told Nige
Charlotte Harris, Partner at Mishcon de Reya, is serious grade totty.
http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/57149000/gif/_57149005_harris.gif
Totty sitting next to you is serious totty, totty on a tv is just that.
Nah! If you had said lying, then she would have had to be serious, or certifiable (with me at least!!)
That’s why I said sitting, you may have had problems finding your zimmer frame if you were lying in a different bed.
Just because I am the wrong side of 90 does not mean I am not agile, young man, or woman, or whatever you were at the last count…
SC, you are really Chris Huhne and I claim my £5.
That is just so wrong, on so many levels, I shall not bother to begin.
Go to gaol. Do not collect £5.
You mean you weren’t making a point on someone else’s behalf ?
Err. I hope it will all be cleared up very quickly and the truth established.
To save time, please look at the camera – don’t smile.
Now turn sideways …..
Look.
Can we take this conversation to the next page?
I can’t keep on coming back here…
She certainly is, but even as a lawyer-defender I wouldn’t touch her – she’d make you sign something first.
Nothing takes the romance out of a situation quite like having to find a witness. Unless that sort of thing floats your boat.
Interfering with a witness takes on an entirely new connotation.
(She was giving evidence to Leveson.)
Wasn’t she also the superinjunction bint who was interviewed? An immediate advantage would be that you could shag her and then wipe your knob on her curtains but ensure she wasn’t allowed to tell anybody.
She’s the spitting image of Jodie Foster. And she’s a gayer.
BBC with threats and isolation, forgive me in thinking we ARE still a member of a 27 member EU, nothing has changed, the 27 members had a vote , which requires ALL to vote the same way for things to carry, one member Britain said no, therefore the thing they wanted should not have carried on, if it has carried on by 26 others then it is not democratic whatever they think, therefore we have a right to either take it further via the Euro courts of just pack our toys, sack the staf and go our way.
Arthur can live with the EU OR in an offshore tax haven without moving home.
When 26 vote against 1 it means the 26 eventually get their way by default since the new ‘treaty’ becomes the de facto treaty and everything else is swept under the carpet.
Don’t send Dave to the takeaway, he’ll come back with prawn balls when you wanted special rice!
Arthur is buying into Casinos and Yacht Marinas right now.
Drove up to London today so had the radio on. The BBC were explaining that the Euro-solution involved the UK signing up to a ‘Tobin-tax’. A mere 0.01% tax on every financial transaction. A trifling amount you would think
Turns out this would
raisecost 49bn quid a year across the EU. Of which 38bn quid would come from the UK. So the Euro-solution for the euro-crisis caused by Italians, Greeks and Oi*r*i*sh squandering money they don’t have to buy votes would be to take 38bn quid a year out of the UK economy.And for this sensible refusal to sub the Italians, Greeks, M*i*cks, and Portuguese the UK is portrayed as ‘isolated’.
UK refuses to pay for Greeks and Italians to retire early and buy Prada handbags shocker.
Oh do fuck off.
Plus – as with VAT – once you’ve acquiesced to the notion of a tax you will find that it suddenly isn’t 0.01%. But 0.1% or 20%. The problem ain’t per se the trivial 0.01%. It’s the establishment of the tax in the first place. Which you can be certain can be varied by ‘qualified majority voting’.
Let’s ‘solve’ the Euro-crisis by a tax on nuclear power stations. That will mean the French have to carry the burden. Let’s justify the nuclear-tax in light of the Fukashima melt-down and therefore as a kind of shared Euro-burden in case of a nuclear accident.
I’m sure everybody in Europe apart from the French would sign up to that.
Let’s have the headlines as ‘France isolated’.
Fucking French. Refusing to pony up for something that ain’t their fault. Fucking isolated French. Not sitting at the ‘top table’. Let’s see what Nasal Ned has to tweet about that. The c*unt.
We don’t even have to raise taxes. Simply abolish the CAP farm subsidies. It will save a fortune.
Dear Newsnight.
If you need an in-depth, detailed, informed and balanced analysis of the governments Euro decision, I’m available.
And I can talk about Strictly too!
Just watched ITV News’ coverage of the shenanigans in Europe. Covered a lot of areas, no apparent agenda, quite balanced. Critical of all concerned, mostly the British and French.
Having seen the BBC coverage earlier, I despair. Sky News wasn’t brilliant, but still leagues ahead of the BBC. The BBC only presented it from a single viewpoint.
BBC news is really trailing in its commercial rivals’ wake.
Absolutely disgusting the way the BBC have conducted themselves this Friday, if they were ever any doubt at all on their pro-EU bias it flew straight out of the window today.
BBC thinking is out-of-date. Blair was elected in 1997, that was 15 years ago. They needed to attack from a europhile point-of-view, but also present a case from a europhobe’s perspective too, ie Better-Off-Out. Can’t say I’m a BOO, but that (perhaps majority) opinion needed to be expressed. ITV asked it of Cameron, and he dealt with it. BBC only ever attacked from a pro-French perspective.
BBC are useless.
Yes, Dave gave that supercilious bar steward Toenails a good whipping too. Luverly jubberly..
Watching Mosconi cup on Sky – they have just said it’s a huge rack coming up. Tissues ready and waiting
Fuck me. Had to Google all that. Not sure if I’m any wiser. Elsie would say ‘Do ladies play billiards then, dear?’
T’aint Billiards; ‘s Pool innit. Most boring game ever invented. I bet none of them could hold a to real snooker players (who have to use a full size table for starters). Steve Davis tried for a while but made a complete tool of himself.
To Merkel the one most Germanic
and Sarko the French Messianic:
Your project is doomed,
your money consumed -
soon you will sink like the Titanic.
The Wicked Witch of the North and the Poison Dwarf know what they can do with their Leipzig and Marseillaise.
What does a merkin and a tea cozy have in common?
The both keep things warm.
Come on Ange. don’t take no sh1t from that Kameron. I’m right behind you Ange. We can take him, go an Ange, flatten him, we can do it. Distract him while I punch him in the knee. Go on Ange, tell Him whose boss.
“Hello, Frau Merkel, how nice to see you. Bit late for the children to be up isn’t it? I would have brought mine if you’d told me it was that sort of do. Look, out, someone’s just trodden on him, better get him home, see you later; Sam sends her love.”
Well done Ange, that told him. Creep. Lucky for him you held me back. I was all fired up. Pretty knickers by the way.
“lets rebuild concorde an bill the french”
Excellent idea, and lets burn all their sheep to fuel it, have never trusted the French and never will.
Like we rebuilt the Comet and called it Nimrod, the Concord is a life expired plane , build a new design to replace it and call it sarky git or mangy merkil, time to put ourselves before that lot.
Lib Dems have had a lesson in EU politics today. You can go into an european meeting with the best intentions in the world, but if the French decide they don’t want the British involved, they’ll ambush you and force you out.
Toxic French bile from the protectionist s h i t s who want to take our tax revenues and use it to subsidise French farms in the 19th-century CAP.
There’s nothing dynamic about France.
The reason the BBC are gutted is they take money from the EU and have longed to be the EU official state broadcaster.
Perhaps we should pass legislation stripping the BBC of it’s “British” title ??
Just call them the Bummers Broadcasting Corporation
Things are progressing well –
We have 2 x Gauleiters; Greece and Italy.
Marshal Sarkozy has surrendered France is actively collaborating.
Our Eastern European allies are also co-operating.
The Scandanavians are too busy shagging eachother to give a shit, but are easily bought off anyway.
Only the Brits are still holding out.
Like 1940 all over again!!
Well swipe me, folks, how the worm has turned
E U noses tweaked and bridges burned
But Dave has one more signal to send ‘em
Let’s all hear it for that referendum
Daily Mail says “It’s the “froggies” wot done it !!”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2071952/Eurozone-crisis-David-Cameron-vetoes-EU-treaty-save-euro.html
‘Mr Sarkozy was said to have had to be physically restrained ….’
What was he going to do ? Bite Dave’s ankles ?
He is *coughs* standing for election next year.
In the USA they “run” for election, though I can’t think what the hurry might be.
This Euro charade is like a bankrupt con man selling a bad idea to an old lady and asking for power of attorney from her to allow him to get the idea working, with her family shouting don’t do it ,you will lose everything, thinking about it shouldn’t we inform the Euro plod a scam is in progress.
I used my veto today and decided to not do any work for another 18 months.
I’m here to save Europe and the whole world. Still no phone call from the two Eds or from Angela. Never did like that Sarkozy chap so don’t expect to get in touch. Wonder if my Nokia is broken after I threw it at the nurse.