December 8th, 2011

Boris Bus Will Be On Time

The last of the despised killer bendy-buses is off the streets of London and Guido understands that the first new Routemaster will be on the streets next week. Boris actually promised in his manifesto to put the new bus on the road before the end of his first term. There was much scepticism that the cleaner-greener and, according to the experts, most advanced bus in the world, would see the light of day before Boris has to face the voters next year.

It’s an electric bus (it uses a small diesel engine to generate electricity, when it is needed) and is twice as economical as a conventional double decker at 11.6 miles to the gallon compared to the killer bendies 4.5 miles to the gallon. Boris buses following on from Boris bikes are visible signs of success. Cameron, who promised so much in his manifesto, might be a little discomforted by such an eye-catching public service advance.


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Looks good!

    Still wont travel on public transport tho…

    • 29
      Col Nut says:

      Especially with that driver.

      • 48
        Rage Against the Political Elite says:

        I wonder how much was pulled out of the BACK DOOR., Or should I say REAR EXIT.

        • 114
          Anonymous says:

          BORIS for PM !

          We need someone with a Churchill spirit, rather than the lankey streak of piss traitor we currently have.

          • Dick Turpin says:

            Lanky? Who? Cameron’s too fat to attract that description so who are you talking about? Van Rompuy?

          • M says:

            If he can make 1 run on time , make boris a saint

          • BoJo's Mum says:

            Is it just me, or do these new buses make everybody travel sick?

            Maybe it’s another way to put folk off travelling on these ridiculously subsidised cattle trucks.

        • 115
          Hang The Bastards says:

          BORIS for PM

          We need a PM with a Churchill spirit, rather than the lankey streak of piss democracy killing traitor that we currently have

      • 126
        Nemo says:

        Who Boris?

        • 134
          Boris rules.. says:

          …and so says all his girls.

          On a serious note, is it not time for the west to bend in the face of the hurricane that we are in the midst of.

      • 140
        Watch out Boris... says:

        Focus on the road ahead and not us… More lives will be saved that way.

    • 30
      Gaius Baltar says:

      It’s a Cylon ship.

    • 36
      Selohesra says:

      Ken’s was long and bendy
      Whereas Boris’s green & friendly
      Both want to be mayor
      And neithers a gayer
      Treating marriage vows mostly pretendly

      • 41
        smoggie says:


        One used to be a gayer

        • 46
          Sesuna says:

          Most ex-public schoolboys have been slighty gay in their time. It’s a rite of passage. *coughs*

          • Handycock ( Teen Fondler) says:

            I have never been gay, but then I never went to public school. Anyone calls me gay, my boys in Portsmouth will deal with them. These new buses in London are typical Tory rubbish and spin, we have single deckers and are keeping them. Boaz.

          • Ivor Tapeworm says:

            It’s has never been rite in my passage.

          • Selohesra says:

            Even the new Routemaster should not be allowed the wrong way up a one-way street

      • 42
        Sesuna says:

        Smokin’ !

      • 148
        Lord Justice Pickles says:

        Ken’s was long and bendy
        Boris’s are green & trendy
        Ken is for a whopping
        To Boris they are flocking
        Back BoJo for Mayor.

      • 283
        Judge Judy & Executioner says:

        Our useless PM did declare,
        ‘I just wish I could grow a pair.’
        And oh, how he shivered
        as Boris delivered.
        ‘I’m almost as bad as T. Blair.’

    • 40
      Durrrrrrr... says:

      That thing’s never going to fit under the Holborn Viaduct.

      • 142
        Lord Justice Pickles says:

        Yes it will – it’s Ken’s ego that would never fit under Holborn Viaduct!

    • 52
      So what is the point? says:


      A medium speed diesel in a conventional bus is 35% efficient

      A power station is 33% efficient but transmission losses, charging losses and the usual losses in the controller and electric motor giving an overall figure of a bit less than 25% in an electric bus.

      • 128
        Fake Blood says:

        Fuck me how good is that? I always wonder about the costs of the leccy on these things and most people don’t bother to mention it. Cheers.

      • 187
        cornwort says:

        The bus is not using power from a centrally generated supply but from its own diesel generator. The diesel is smaller than a conventional bus engine and is running continuously providing power to a battery. When the bus slows it also regenerates power to the battery. It’s the battery that is expensive.

        • 296
          Spartacus says:

          So a slightly bigger diesel would cut out the ‘middle man’ and the horribly expensive battery.

          • cornwort says:

            Sorry I am not an expert on these things. A diesel engine works more efficiently when running at full speed rather than accelerating and slowing as with at normal bus. Also with a battery regenerative braking can be used. We urgently need to find an efficient method of storing electricity.
            A possible alternative could be trolley buses or trams, shame we did away with all the overhead wiring and tram lines.

      • 211
        Ivor Tapeworm says:

        They should bring back the old RouteMaster. Many a happy hour as a pubescent young man was spent following Gertie the Clippy up the stairs on the 213 to Malden. She never wore bloomers and was bow-legged so one got quite a good view. She was 58 though, a bit of a growler.

    • 55
    • 65
      Jabba the Cat says:

      Every seat should have a set of pedals connected to a generator so the passenger contributes to the propulsion process.

    • 103
      Engineer says:

      Given that the Mark 1 version of almost anything will have teething troubles and scope for improvement, the real test will be what the subsequent Mark 2 is like.

      The next step is some intensive service, and see which bits fall off these initial production models first.

    • 107
      Up sh1t creek says:

      I’d like to depress you some more, but I’ve run out of time.

    • 133
      Nemo says:

      Well one of those might just be able to accomodate Boris and partners, ex-partners and off spring, are going to offer to be the drive and conductor Billy

    • 259
      Inspiration says:

      Seems like you are having a bit of an off-day Guido.

      If you need some stories, you mighyt like to delve into the merky world of corruption in local authorities. The scandals at Waltham Forest offer rich pickings.

    • 291
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Looks good?

      I dunno what school of engineering design you went to Billy but this thing is fugly.

      It is a horrible, one-eyed Frankenbus.

      It is a bus drawn by a 5-year-old with ADHD.

      The orinal Routemasters were iconic designs – this thing is a monstrosity.

    • 301
      Anonymous says:

      Electric bus… no

      Its a coal/gas/nuclear bus.

      One thing we can be sure of – its not a windfarm bus.

      Great – we’re going back to the days of coal driven transport, couldn’t we just have a steam engine?

  2. 2
    bring back Maggie says:

    The lady is not for Bending

    • 83
      Rage Against the Political Elite says:

      She started the ROT.

      • 93
        Engineer says:

        What, industrial strife, double-digit inflation, poor productivity and being the ‘sick man of Europe’?

        That’s what she inherited – the rot started long before then.

      • 106
      • 151
        David Cameron Is A Cunt! says:

        Nope it was all of you, something for nothing, lefties who started the rot and are still trying as hard as possible today to ensure that you flush the UK down the toilet of failed socialist claptrap.

  3. 3
    Ooops says:

    Low petrol usage eh? So will we be seeing fares dropping?

    *cough* like hell we will.

  4. 4
    MrAngry61 says:

    So how much is one of the buses going to cost?

    Lower fuel costs are welcome but if the vehicle costs twice as much then it may be little more economical.

    • 28
      Anonymous says:

      If it has the lifespan of the original routemaster, then it could have a purchase price ten times the price of a bendy bus and it would still save money.

    • 31
      AC1 says:

      > Lower fuel costs are welcome but if the vehicle costs twice as much then it may be little more economical.

      Lower fuel costs are welcome but if the vehicle costs more than the cost savings in fuel it’s uneconomic.

      Probably the most expensive cost is the staff.

      Automating the entire tube network should be Boris’s next priority (like the eastern section of the Jubilee line already is).

    • 35
      MrAngry61 says:

      £11 million for 8 vehicles, unit cost £1.375 million!

      Didn’t the last double deckers cost under £200K each?

      • 44
        AC1 says:

        Depends how they amortize the development costs.

      • 51
        Rage Against the Political Elite says:

        Fu-k me I didnt think you could get away with that amount unless it was a plastic DOME. Don’t like to remind everyone about that rather large White elephant, If only the Revenue investigated the Toffs, we probably wouldn’t have a budget deficit.

      • 57
        Anonymous says:

        Most of that cost will be the initial R&D, the more units bought the lower the unit cost?

      • 58
        Time Lord says:

        Just the eight buses? Those things must be bigger on the inside than the outside then. Well played, Boris.

        • 61
          apathetic mathmetician says:

          Yeah. They seat 7,250 with standing room for another five thousand, apparently.

        • 75
          Grumpy Old Man says:

          It wouldn’t possibly be that the 8 buses will be road tested to see how they withstand London conditions – heavy traffic, riots, student demos etc, so that any mods can be made before the much larger order is made? Boris for Minister of Procurement!

          • Colonel Blimp says:

            Boris is a procurer, but mostly for his own bed!

          • Nemo says:

            And who is going to pay for all this then, I hope that Boris does not go to the government for a loan, and then the rest of the country outside the M25 having to pay for it.

        • 267
          Reg Varney says:

          Don’t panic. Another eight will come along soon.

          • I hate you Butler says:

            You have to wait for rge first eight first. Will they be running around in convoys?

      • 71
        Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

        The £11m covers the development and testing. Each bus is about £330k, only a little more expensive than a conventional hybrid, but they use more fuel.

        But the big deal is that it has three doors and two staircases, so loading and unloading is superfast.

        And to put that £11m in perspective, TFL spent £90m putting two lifts in St James’ Tube station….

        • 161
          nonomad says:

          Sounds good,but the catch is the extra doors,the bendy bus had a rear door for exit but all the non payers used it for entry,will it with driver only buses be the same again !!!

        • 277
          Anonymous says:

          That’s good Lord C, an extra door to enable me to nip on without paying.

        • 303
          Blakey says:

          Well I never. People use the rear doors on buses to avoid paying!!!

          Mugs. You can also get on the front door and wave any old bit of paper (or just say hello so he’ll be numbed in shock and get the front seats while the crush are fighting not to pay at the back door.

      • 132
        Evil Landlord says:

        Under Labour & PFI they would have cost £20m each over 25 years. Routine servicing @ £100k every 6 months , tyres @£10k each etc etc etc.

      • 176
        Jo Bloggs says:

        So? The Met want to buy three anti-riot water cannon for £1.3 million each. An armoured version with tear gas launchers can be purchased off the shelf in RHD form for £350,000 each. That’s a lot of dinners (or hookers).

        • 306
          aleksandr says:

          they havent said how long the batteries will last for. I hear re-batterying a Prius is very expensive and needs doing every 2-3 years.

          Why not have trolleybuses and dispense with the heavy diesel engine and the batteries?

  5. 5
    Iain Dale's Dildo says:

    Boris can park his bus up my arse anytime he likes. Ding DONG.

    • 150
      Nemo says:

      I think Boris might just take you up on that, leave your name and address he wants extra parking for his buses

  6. 6
    Steve Miliband says:

    Looks like a Hit ler bus

  7. 7
    Greychatter says:

    Will they be built in Great Britain or in Germany?

    Has the EU stuck their oar in yet?

  8. 9
    simon r says:

    looks nice – but i’ll give it a couple of days until every window is etched and scratched by schoolkids ( mostly of an ethnic persuasion )

    • 54
      A Copper says:

      I wonder how long the HSE will allow a set of stairs straight down to the open rear door….
      and as for hop on and off a moving bus ! Won’t be long before the rear entry is butt plugged

  9. 10
    PoNI says:

    Built by WrightBus in Northern Ireland.

  10. 11
    Steve Miliband says:

    Round my way we have shitty old buses, first registered in the seventies, belching out black fumes.

  11. 12
    rabid hamster says:

    gotta love boris.

    • 254
      47 leather-clad Village People extras milling around Soho Square fiddling with their Bl*ckberrys says:

      We’re going to “love” Boris when we catch up with him.

  12. 14
    Jack Legge says:

    Note how in the picture Boris is turning sharply to the right. Nice and topical.

  13. 15
    I don't need no doctor says:

    What’s the financial loss on the bendy buses?

  14. 18
    Billy Blofeld says:

    Dream ticket for the next election. Boris as PM and Nigel Farage as Chancellor.

  15. 20
    JH says:

    Apparently it has klaxons and warning lights that go off whenever anyone says something wacist – the bus then drives on autopilot to the nearest nick so they can be arrested for their own protection, while wirelessly transmitting footage of the event to Youtube for inspection by the faux-outrage stasi.

    Very sensibly, the system is calibrated to only target whites, since according to Julie Birchill and Jo Brand only they can be wacist. It’s about power, you see.

    Unless that power involves you being raped and/or having your brain kicked to a mush by an effnic gang. That’s not power, it’s a righteous protest and an inevitable result of Tory cuts. Or something.

    • 143
      rocknrolla says:

      Haha :)

      Anyone else noticed how now it is increasingly frequent that you’ll hear about someone being arrested for being “racist” or making “racist” comments.

      Was that woman arrested for using obscene language in a threatening way? Or was she arrested because she doesn’t approve of the mass immigration of recent decades

      The BBC and Guardian think that anyone against the tyranny of the EU is a “racist” – how long before expressing that idea becomes an offence?

      • 178
        MrAngry61 says:

        The BBC and Guardian think that anyone against the tyranny of the EU is a “racist”

        According to the EU, WW1 & WWII were ‘civil wars’ (seriously!). I expect that the BBBC & the Graun will adopt that view as well.

      • 241
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Emma West has been sent to prison and her children abducted by the state because she has politically incorrect views. How very like the old East Europe, the new ‘liberal’ EU has become.

  16. 25
    Chalcedon says:

    I wonder when Boris will become an MP again and then PM?

  17. 26
    Jimmy says:

    So now you’ll have something nice to look at when the full bus goes past.

    • 49
      MrAngry61 says:

      There’s only 8 of them planned. That’s less than operate on a single route.

      • 72
        Jimmy says:

        What I don’t understand is the premise of the post, which is that an expensive and impractical gimmick represents some sort of contrast with Flashman.

        • 99
          Grumpy Old Man says:

          Both chips operational and performing to specification I presume, Jimmy?

          • Jimmy says:

            Could have been worse. Rumour has it he originally wanted the one with Leona Lewis coming out of the top.

        • 177
          AC1 says:

          I suppose it’s a contrast with all those black taxi drivers that Ken’s “fund” supposedly bought…

      • 224
        Ivor Tapeworm says:

        You wait years for a decent bus and then 8 come along at once.

  18. 32
    anonymouse in the City Hall skirting board says:

    Shame they cannot be painted blue!

  19. 34
    will says:

    when i get on a bus during the day i usually are the only paying customer as most of the others are on some kind of benefits. What really annoys me is the young mothers with 1 year old child in pushchair, the child could easily walk but no the fat slob (mother) cant be arsed to get her child to walk.

    • 45
      Tessa Tickles says:

      The child is sat on 3 kilos of crack cocaine that the mother’s pushing around on behalf of the current boyfriend.

  20. 37
    Tessa Tickles says:

    “it uses a small diesel engine to generate electricity, when it is needed”

    Wouldn’t one of the laws of thermodynamics suggest that that would be less efficient than using the diesel engine to move the bus?

    • 47
      AC1 says:

      Not necessarily. Diesel-electric is used in trains due to Diesel engines having a narrow performance range whereas electric can have a high torque at low speeds.

      • 77
        seen on the back of a crisp packet says:

        Electric motors produce even torque throughout their rev range. Diesels make good torque at the lower end of their rev range. Blah, blah……

        • 101
          Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

          Easy answer to this. According to TFL’s standard economy test, diesel double deckers do 5.6mpg, hybrids about 8.6mpg and this bus 11.6mpg.

          The battery can store all the energy recovered when braking. And buses do a lot of braking when bus stops are only 500 yds apart.

          • seen on the back of a crisp packet says:

            Yeah- quicker to walk, surely?

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            I travelled on a bus recently, and I was indeed sat there thinking that it would have been quicker to walk. The bus stops seems to be about a bus-length apart.

            (BTW, ta to AC1 for the info.)

          • Ivor Tapeworm says:

            Red Ken promises a bus that will actually PRODUCE diesel. (The fuel consumption is off balance sheet)

  21. 38
    Anybody But Ed says:

    Roll up Roll up All Aboard for the Boris Magical Mystery Tour

  22. 43
    smoggie says:

    You wait ages for a manifesto promise to materilise, then they all come along at once.

    Well done Boris. ol’ chap.

    • 62
      It Never Fails says:

      He showed up just as I lit a fag…

      • 175
        AC1 says:

        You’ll get jailed for that*

        *unless you’re muslim, and “new” to alcohol, and meet a mad soft-racist judge.

        • 215
          It Never Fails says:

          Not THAT kind of fag, but I know what you’re saying…

          As far as not being able to hold liquor, I believe Grampa and Dr. Archie have the solution:

  23. 50
    Cressida Dick-Balls says:

    Boris is not the immediate threat to Camoron. The member for Chingford, has a very big axe to grind after being shafted by CMD in favour of calamity Clagg over benefit reform. He may not have the personna of his predecessor for that constituency but when the time is right out will come the Doc Martens and the boot will go in.

    There’s no shortage of Tory backbenchers spoiling for a fight, it just needs a big name to light the blue touchpaper.

    The only question is whether Dave will have the balls to tell Clegg ‘sorry, foxtrot oscar’.

    • 67
      The "Quiet Man" could even yet bring down Cameron and the Coalition says:

      IDS was one of the main opponents of the Maastrict Treaty and gave Major vast amounts of trouble in its passage through Parliament so don’t underestimate the support he has with the Thatcherite Eurosceptic wing which is 4 times as big as it was then and when Major came within a whisker of losing a confidence vote…the fact is that Cameron is haemorraghing support within his party where he was never very popular but was put up with because the party thought he was the best chance they had of returning to government but he failed in 2010 to achieve an overall majority by his and his advisers bad tactics….hence the LibDems having too much say in matters which to the right of the Tory Party is worse than Labour being in power

      • 116
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        Call-me-heir-to-blair is the 21st Century’s Richard II. Weak, inconstant,vacillating and eschewing his british councillors for fair-weather friends from rival parties and the Continent. Richard !! is the reason we didn’t go down the road of the Devine Right of Kings. Dave may well be the reason we steer away from the Devine Right of PMs as instituted by NuLabour. Perhaps fortunately, “uman writes” will spare him from the Fate of Richard – a red-hot poker up the anus.

      • 119
        Nurse Dorries says:

        I’m very frustrated…

      • 202
        The Poet Laureate Writes says:

        SUBJECT: English (local??) Politics

        Dave was concerned about Boris
        His affairs with too many a Doris
        ‘If you must let us down
        As mayor of this town -
        I’ll sack you and get Shagger Norris’

    • 100
      Don't come back empty handed says:

      I think that we all know the answer to that

  24. 53
    The lights are going out all over Europe.....nobody in Brussels will listen to Cameron says:

    Cameron is managing expectations downwards regarding any concessions being achieved at Summit especially regarding that Transaction Tax or any special consideration for City of London so he’s in big trouble…spin will no longer do…if he vetoes a new treaty then Franco-German Axis will go for treaty involving only 17 nations and ignore him. He can no onger bullshit his way out of this.He has to concede an in/out referendum as such a move will seriously impact on the Britishh National Interest…

    To add to his woes Barroso has warned leaders ahead of the meeting so expect stormy weather ahead next week in Parliamentespecially if Cameron tries to duck issue or spin this as a success…he can not refuse to concede a referendum and expect the continued support of the majority of his party any longer

    ” Barroso said he expected leaders to come to the talks not “saying what they cannot do, but what they will do for Europe”. …which runs counter to all that Cameron has been spinning this last week

    • 59
      Selohesra says:

      I really dont see the problem in letting the 17 have their own treaty – as long as they cant force any daft tax or regulation on us. There is nothing stopping them voting as a single bloc now so what would change?

      • 89
        Dream On says:

        They wouldn’t be able to come up with only have one entry betweeen them for the Eurovison song contest.

        • 113
          t says:

          Something else we should steer clear of.

          • The Eurovision Song Contest isn't abut songs or music says:

            Like the EU the UK makes one of the largest contributions and that’s why even though we get “Null” points every year we always get an automatic bye to the Final

          • Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

            Is Israel still part of Europe, dear?

          • Really? says:

            We should plead poverty and cut the contribution the BBC makes to the European Broadcasting Union which runs the contest.

            The argument that it tests the technology for international transmission of TV pictures is no longer valid; all the technology needed is nowadays developed by competition between private firms.

            It’s a statist solution in an internationalised world.

            Bye bye, bye.

      • 172
        AC1 says:

        CaMoron doesn’t get to sit at the table when they decide how many unicorns can fit on a Euro.

      • 249
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        How many of the 17 will still be there in 12 months time?

        Even the Germans can’t carry the PIIGS alone and none of the others who are not in trouble, want to get sucked into trouble by them either.

  25. 56
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  26. 60

    You can have the best buses in the world, but what’s the point if all the passengers are misfits and nutters?

  27. 63
    Ed the fed says:

    The bikes project was started before Boris was Mayor, btw. He just happened to be around when the project came to fruition.

  28. 64
    Raving Loon says:

    Yes, but where are the on-board back rubs and jacuzzi?

  29. 73
    nellnewman says:

    Where did those bendy buses come from. Were they one of livingstone’s bright ideas?

    • 97
      Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

      Yes. They use them on the revolutionary boulevards of South America, so Leninspart thought Londonistan should have them as well.

  30. 74
    The Derby Trolley bus. When I were a lad. says:

    • 78
      How things have changed in just 40 years says:

      Bloody hell and not one p@ki in sight. You should see Derby Now it’s more like Derbystan

      • 104
        Horses for courses says:

        So, we started off with horse drawn trams, then the electric powered tram, then the electric trolley bus, then the diesel bus and now the diesel electric bus. When will we go back to the horse drawn tram?

        • 125
          Grumpy Old Man says:

          Never. CAGW theory says that too many animals will destroy the climate by producing CO2. Expect to see buses being drawn through the streets of London by long lines of ASBO’s on community service orders.

        • 130
          Poker Bum says:

          Should I knock gold on the head and get into horses?

        • 155
          D L George says:


  31. 76
    Loungelizard. says:

    It’s a bus, am I missing something here?

  32. 79
    tdi driver says:

    Diesel is 10p per litre more than petrol in our part of the country!
    What a bloody rip-off.

  33. 81
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I spotted my Mooslim neighbour screaming for help from his bedroom earlier, as his house was burning down.

    So I fetched a ladder like any decent citizen would do, and climbed up to jam the window shut

    • 102
      Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

      That is rather gay of you, dear. I would have poured a gallon of four-star in before nailing the window shut.

  34. 84

    As Neville Chamberlain said “Hitler has missed the bus”

    Poor Ken..

  35. 85
    cynic says:

    Boris bikes
    Boris buses
    Boris beetroots
    Boris bananas
    Boris bollox

  36. 88
    All aboard says:

    Can’t wait. I’ve missed the Routemasters which Labour took off. Fuck the rotten bendy buses.

  37. 90
    Ed the Axeman says:

    140 million on 5,000 bikes is 28,000 pounds per bike.

    Someone must have seen Boris coming.

    It’s a disasterous project and we are going to be paying through the nose forever.

    • 129
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      Have you a reference for that statistic? I’m sure we would all like to see it.

  38. 91
    Comrades! says:
  39. 98
    Labour says:

    Dropping the Routemasters was the prudent, diverse and New Labour thing to do.

  40. 105
    Ollie says:

    On some routes the bendy buses worked fine.

    Did we lose on them, taking them out of commission early?

    Very very likely we did.

    Throwing them all away was simple spin and PR.

    A load of bollocks all paid for by tax payers cash.

    • 135
      ex-Tory says:

      No they were hated by everyone except those who did not want to pay. They would block the roads and especially pedestrian crossings, too long for London’s winding roads. More suited to a grid like communist city, which is why c*nts like you and red Ken liked them.

      • 149
        MrAngry61 says:

        If they were really just useless in London, why not sell em to somewhere like Milton Keynes?

        AFAIR Top Gear had bus racing including two different brands of knackered bendy-bus, so presumably they’re already in use somewhere else in the UK.

    • 137
      Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

      Is that a poem, dear? They’ll make someone a fine greenhouse, won’t they? How many pot plants could I grow in a Bendy Bus, I wonder?

    • 153

      You remember the last scene of the Godfather?
      The man shuts the door in Diane Keatons face, Gordon style.
      Richard James Bright was his name.

      Killed by a bendy bus in New York.

  41. 111
    The Emperor says:

    Personally I don’t care what sort of buses they get, I’ll drive my Jag anywhere and everywhere I want to. I like driving a nice fossil fuel power station around. The more the greenies tell me not to do something the more i will do just the opposite! Don’t they realise that unless public transport is a genuinely cheaper and ‘better’ alternative we will continue to do what is most convenient!

  42. 112
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  43. 117
    Anonymous says:

    BBC seem insistent that the fire this morning was a double decker:

    sure looks like a bendy to me.

    • 139
      Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

      If the last bendy has burnt to the ground, virtually on the last day of service, it is a sign from God.

      And the funniest thing I’ve heard in years.

      And a clear warning to Ken Livingstone’s campaign.

    • 205
      I go off on a bendy says:

      Nah, double decker. One deck in front of the other.

  44. 118
    Peter Holmes says:

    I think the new buses look great.
    Clever Boris to go for something so visible!
    And British built!

  45. 120
    The Pryce Is Right says:

    Tonight’s Question Time panel includes the former Mrs Huhne, Vicky Pryce.

    • 213
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Help Guido. Im being hassled bye that chick again. BTW giudo sorry for bothereing yuo again guido/neo but ive customised the “booth” and painted a muriel of you both on the back wall. It ain’t fully finished yet so dont get to angry when you see it.

  46. 122
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Bullfrog Barroso , Just given a stark warning to “Call me Spineless”
    “Don’t come here telling us what you won’t do !
    Come here and tell us what you will do for Europe !
    The whole world is watching !”

    That’s it then we are fucked , “spineless” will sign us up to anything they want
    “It’s the right thing to do”

    • 204
      The spin starts here ...A personal triumph for the Prime Minister says:

      Downing Street has said that “yesterday’s summit meeting between Heads of Government to resolve the crisis in the Eurozone has been very productive and a success..Once again the Prime Minister has stood up for the national interest. ”

      Commentators have said that legislation to enable the necessary treaty change will be put before Parliament in the New Year. “It’s is a triumph for British Diplomacy and Common sense !” went on the PM’s Press Spokesmen ” and totally removes the necessity for the matter to be put before the people in a referendum !”

      • 238
        Ivor Tapeworm says:

        “and totally loses the opportunity for the matter to be put before the people in a referendum !”

  47. 136
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Hey Billy that wanky cricket tosser “Bung adin ” has just broken some record or other ?

  48. 138
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
    • 144

      Please go back to your chamber and reconsider until you come up with ‘its totally constitutional.’

      You’ll all get an extra layer of gold plate on your pensions if you do.
      Or Panzers at the gates if you don’t.

    • 164
      AC1 says:

      Who cares about constitutionality!? This is about protecting our phoney baloney jobs!

      Give von Rumpy a Harumpf!

    • 171
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      Denmark on the news this morning 54% of Danes want their old currency back !
      also most Greeks want the Drachma back
      60% of Germans want the return of the Deutschmark
      36% of the French want out
      yet these dictators still insist on wasting billions against the will of the people !

    • 192
      The lights are going out all over Europe...the brave Finns to take on "Merkozy" says:

      From Helsinki in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic, an iron curtain is descending across the Continent

  49. 154
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The bendy bus reflects Livingstone, and how he bent the truth.
    The BBC luvvie lefties take great pleasure in talking down the UK. How how desperately they want it to go wrong for Cameron and the country.

  50. 158
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Why wasn’t the new bus fitted with 50 sets of pedals? Now that would have been enviromentally friendly.

  51. 159
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The new bus is brighter that Peter Hain’s face.

  52. 167
    Mein other Auto ist ein Kubelwagen says:

    Vy are you Britisch keep menschionink ze war?

    • 245
      Ivor Tapeworm says:

      Because you keep singink about davor.

      Lili Marleen
      Vor der Kaserne,
      Vor dem großen Tor,
      Stand eine Laterne,
      Und steht sie noch davor

      See? You started it.

  53. 185
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Slow news day?

    • 191
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Isn’t it just. I’ve just seen the headline:

      “Hurricane-force winds batter Britain – 100mph gales cause many schools across Scotland to shut”

      So in other words, “Hurricane-force winds batter Scotland. Rest of UK is rather mild.”

      And what, for heaven’s sake, *doesn’t* force a school to shut? I’m pretty sure my local comprehensive shut due to the Leonids meteor shower.

      • 197
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        It just aint cricket!

      • 200
        Well it's a thought says:

        Don’t know where you are Billy but we wuz getting ready to put our swimming trunks on, the rain came in horizontal and bloody hurt, the roads looked like rivers, it’s calmed down now only high winds.

      • 201
        Stationer says:

        My local rag has the Peanuts strip. Yesterday’s showed one flake of snow falling and all the kids yelling in unison “Shut the schools”.

        • 203
          Stationer says:

          Oh sh*t. try again:

          My local rag has the *Charlie Brown* cartoon strip. Yesterday’s showed one flake of snow falling and all the kids yelling in unison “Shut the schools”.

          • Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

            Kids in Unison ?? Great idea !! We’ll charge ‘em half price.

    • 219
      Five Go Mad On Billy's Cock says:

      Every day is a slow news day.

      • 228
        Tessa Tickles says:

        I read they’ve found two new black holes, the smaller of which is 10 billion times the size of our sun. But, they’re 300 million light years away.

        Wouldn’t it be cool if there was another similarly-sized black hole that had snuck up on us while we weren’t looking, and it was going to be here next Tuesday?

        That would be a great news day. For once, something worth reading. But on the down-side, it would piss me off because I’ve just ordered a load of Christmas presents from Amazon.

        • 237
          Five Go Mad On Billy's Cock says:

          Would we see it coming? Anyway, ordering anything from Amazon is a little like staring into a mini black hole, isn’t it?

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            We’d see it coming, sure. All the outer planets would get pulled into it, and the it would block-out the stars.

            As for amazon, so far everything’s arrived. And a lot cheaper than on the high street, too. How’s the High Street doing, I wonder? All those overpriced shops, with their dismal assistants who are more interested in texting their m8s than actually acknowledging their customers’ existence?

            I bet it’s doing really well. *laughs*

  54. 188
    Tessa Tickles says:

    What you save in healthcare and benefits is offset by the economic damage that’s incurred when the Highways Agency cone-off the whole area – to a radius of about 3 miles – for about 10 hours while they investigate the death of one pointless lycra-clad hippy.

  55. 190
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
    • 194
      Tessa Tickles says:

      I bet the £56,403 doesn’t include the end of year performance-related bonus (let’s say.. £20,000) that will be awarded to the public-sector cretin who ordered the game in the first place.

  56. 193
    Well it's a thought says:

    Looking at that thing , whoever designed that have been watching an exfilm star now California goveners films.

    Tthat glass to replace will probably cost just as much as the bus, it looks like an upturned rasberry jelly in a plastic mould, still Boris said he would do it, shame our so called PM can’t keep to promises made.

  57. 198
    Stationer says:

    So when do the strikes in NI start? Got to time my holidays properly

  58. 207
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  59. 209
    Tipton says:

    Boris is a fucking twat

    My opinion is formed solely on the Barclays Cycle Hire (Boris Bikes) in London will cost an estimated £140,000,000 or £28,000 per cycle

    Lard ass fucktard twat Boris should try working in Black Country engineering company sweating his bollocks off to only to pay corporation tax for some ringpiece to spunk on a fucking bike or two

  60. 212
    a non says:

    Room for one more on top Guido?

  61. 222
    Red Ken ( 'pond life' ) Livingscum says:

    It’ll never succeed !! Bring back my beloved bender bendy buses. Free travel for all !!

  62. 223
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Power to your elbow Boris

  63. 225

    Glad I moved away. From what I see in the news, I would have been blown hard today.

  64. 230
    Gordon's Tempest says:

    I would like to thank God for sending a violent storm to Gordon today. Long and hard may it blow.

  65. 246
    The Boris Bus says:

    Makes sense to use double deckers as they take up less room on the roads and it’s good for giving the tourists a better view. I think it looks ugly though, the winners of the “design” competition made it look like a retro routemaster, rather like the new mini has a retro look of the original. I wonder why the winning designs did not make it through to the production version?

  66. 250
    Loungelizard. says:

    Is Poland under contract to provide the drivers?

  67. 256
    Gordon Brown to his rocking horse says:

    How can you just walk away from me?
    When all I can do is watch you leave?
    Cos we shared the laughter and the pain
    And even shared the tears
    You’re the only one
    Who really knew me at all

  68. 258
    Gloone says:

    they actually look pretty good. traditional but modern. good work on the fuel consumption as well.

    thumbs up from me.

  69. 260
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  70. 264
    Tram skank says:

    The support by some on these pages for Emma West is really unsettling. Whatever your views on immigration, she’s exactly the kind of foul accented illiterate council estate chav mum you normally and rightfully condemn.

    • 272
      Desperate Dan says:

      The Guardian says Its all the fault of the police.

    • 276
      Well, I Never! says:

      Most people on this blog don’t care tuppence for her personally, in all likelihood, but the principle is what’s important. The woman is getting banged up because the video went viral and the System is embarrassed– no other reason. She’s a poke in the eye with a sharp-pointed stick, which is what most of the posters on this blog are. (Odd that lefties champion people they’d dread being alone with, come to that.)

    • 278
      Col Nut says:

      Her foul mouthed tirade seemed slurred by drink and was racist and unacceptable and so was the looting and burning of Croydon and other places. Mass immigration has destabilised British society and the rot looks incurable.

    • 279
      Jimmy says:

      She said nothing that isn’t regularly said here.

      • 292
        JH says:

        Does that mean it’s OK, Jimmy? Does it? Does it?

        Is that what you want? More racism? Is it? Is it? I suppose you think Steven Lawrence being murdered was OK, was it? Was it? Is that what you think, is it? Is it?

        Hey, this is easy. I can see why lefties make it look such an art.

        • 293
          Jimmy says:

          My concern is that if everyone who expresses cretinous and obnoxious views on race gets banged up then it’ll just be me and Moussa on here and frankly I just don’t have the time to run the place.

  71. 270
    Desperate Dan says:

    “Cameron, who promised so much in his manifesto, might be a little discomforted by such an eye-catching public service advance.”

    No, Cameron’s probably looking forward to the spectacle of poor old Boris making a fool of himself, as usual, by jumping up and down and shouting “Look at me! Look at ME!”

  72. 271
    Col Nut says:

    In honour of Boris the bus should be called the Rutmaster.

  73. 280
    Olive From On The Buses says:


  74. 282
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Breaking news from America !
    A gunman is shooting people at Virginia Tech university
    the same location where a few years ago another gunman carried out America’s domestic killing
    Murdering 34 people
    Nice to see as a result of last time they tightened up security so it wouldn’t happen again !

  75. 287
    angry says:

    greart are they being sent back to Germany?

  76. 294
    EdButLookBalls says:

    An interesting equation:-

    (Toenails + Al-Beeba + David Cameron + Attention to Europe) = 1,000,000 x (Toenails + Al-Beeba + Gordon Brown + Attention to Europe)!

    Al-Beeba is more interested in DC prospects than the prospects of future Europe FFS!


  77. 305
    BillyPilgrim says:

    Once more Londoners are pampered whilst the rest of the country suffers on below par public transport. What is wrong with bendy buses, was the feng shui wrong?

  78. 308

    I like the look of the new one and hope they’ll be eventually on the routes I use (9, 14, 22). I also say “good riddance” to the bendy bus:

  79. 310
  80. 312
    Simon says:

    Bus fares will have gone up by 50 per cent under Boris Johnson. He has also cut bus capacity at a time of growing bus ridership – leading to more crowded buses. The new routemaster buses are incredibly expensive and there will only be 5 or so on London’s roads by next May. Forget the propoganda put out by Guito from City Hall and look at the facts.

  81. 313

    What a relief that the bendy buses have gone! They really did nothing but clog the streets. The ‘Boris Buses‘ look great. They will so much more economical and ecological for London.
    Sophie Hobson, deputy editor, LondonlovesBusiness

Seen Elsewhere

From the IRA to Windsor Castle | WSJ
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
Mo Ansar’s Silence | Adrian Hilton
Gove Loses WWI Battle | Conservative Woman
5 Reasons Labour Likely to Win General Election | Sunny Hundal
Dave Surrounded By Topless Women | Sun
UN Loony says Britain Most Sexist Country | Sun
Farage is a Good Reason to Leave the EU | Dan Hannan
UKIP Blocked Expenses Questions | Times
NHS Showdown Coming | Paul Goodman
Sons of Brown | Telegraph

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads