December 7th, 2011

Exclusive: Labour Candidate’s Husband is Way Off Message

Here’s an afternoon pop-quiz for you… Who said:

“The intent of the government to help the UK balance its budget deficit and maximise the country’s position both at a European and global level is very sound.”

Guido will give you a clue, he’s going to be sleeping on the sofa tonight. That would be Sushil Saluja, the husband of Labour’s Heathrow by-election candidate Seema Malhotra, speaking to Management Today. Not only does she live in a £3m house, not only has she dropped her double-barrel name, but it seems her husband is a member of the reality based community.

The Tories should put this on their leaflets…


227 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    But isint the classic say one thing to one audence etc?

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Isint this the classic “One thing to one audience etc”

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Time for the tories to get their top-hats & tails out and follow her around.

    If labour thought it was a good attack in C&N then perhaps it would work against them!

  4. 4
    Rancid Big Toe says:

    That’s Labour for you all lies and deceit.

  5. 5
    Ooops says:

    I bet you’re one of those people who thinks Sally Bercow shouldn’t be allowed to speak publicly in case it embarrasses her husband…

    My missus voted Green Party ffs. I might think she’s an idiot for it, but it’s her choice. It’s called democracy.

  6. 6
    misterned says:

    Makes no difference. The voters in this by-election should vote UKIP!

  7. 7
    Engineer says:

    £3million house, eh? Well, nothing is too good for the workers…

  8. 8
    sick of everything, ever says:

    Is this important?

  9. 9
    The Paragnostic says:

    You have to feel sorry for the poor lass though – her hubby obviously comes from the “too fast, too deep” end of the gene pool. ;-)

  10. 10
    will the last person to leave this blog please pull the chain? says:

    No.

  11. 11
    madasafish says:

    Labour voters are too thick to notice the discrepancy..

    And compared to Tony Blair’s menagerie of houses.. a £3million one is poverty stricken…

  12. 12
    I received a P45 disguised as a Christmas card says:

    You’re not even trying, are you E?

  13. 13
    E says:

    Nope. How did you suss me?

  14. 14
    Durrrrrrr... says:

    Lucky guess.

  15. 15

    Or just replying to your own post.

  16. 16
    What a Silly (Ber)Cow says:

    She must be a good f*ck then – you clearly didn’t marry her for her brains…

  17. 17
    not a machine says:

    Drive around the constuancey in a red phantom 3 ,littering the streets with leaflets , and Mr sewell on the in car speaker “vote labour”, might just work

  18. 18
    Durrrrrrr... says:

    Like you never do that.

  19. 19
    a non says:

    Been mowing the grass since PMQs. Did I miss anything important? Guido’s cold? Neo Guido’s general physical condition? Billy’s presentation?

  20. 20
    Jimmy says:

    Certainly a real contrast for the voters here. I’ve been looking up the Tory candidate and I can’t find any reference to him ever having had a job. He sounds like just the sort of person we need to be helping.

  21. 21
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Only a £3 million house. Are they on benefits?

  22. 22
    nightwatch says:

    What a nice upper middle-class couple.

    She is so lucky to have such a numerate hubby – it’s so aspirational they could almost be Tories.

  23. 23
    Did someone mention sofa? says:

    I thought so:

  24. 24
    Loungelizard. says:

    I think he’d describe it as a shed. Tony lives in the sort of house God would live in.

  25. 25
    a non says:

    Premature ejaculation can be a bitch

  26. 26
    Ooops says:

    Oh, yes! She could suck a golf ball through a hose pipe.

  27. 27
    Instrumental Sofa says:

  28. 28
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Aren’t I a complete huhne

  29. 29
    Loungelizard. says:

    Madasafish 11

  30. 30
    Studio Sofa with hilarious lyrics says:

  31. 31

    Muslim women not used to drinking walk free after attack on woman

    A gang of Somalian women who repeatedly kicked a young woman in the head walked free from court after a judge heard they were “not used to being drunk” because they were Muslim.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8937856/Muslim-women-not-used-to-drinking-walk-free-after-attack-on-woman.html

  32. 32
    Evil Landlord says:

    Yes you are and it serves you right for rushing to be the first to post

  33. 33
    Dynaplod (up for promotion) says:

    I’ll arrest all one-of-you if you carry on like that…

  34. 34

    Are you, or have you ever been, a cross stick?

  35. 35
    D says:

    It would appear that Son of Jonah has inherited the Curse of Jonah as well. Labour: Defeat is a part of their politiical inheritance..

  36. 36
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I wuvs you E x

  37. 37
    D says:

    Just because it’s a safe Labour seat doesn’t mean that they’re ALL wing-nuts!

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    Oh good – I thought I’d never get that golf ball out of the hose pipe – it’s been stuck in there for months. Could you send her around old chap.

  39. 39
    The Paragnostic says:

    On numerous lonely year-end Wednesdays, hoping ephemeral numinous insights leave an unpleasant George hosed…

  40. 40
    E says:

    I know that, darling. Everyone does. I’m going to take you down with me Billy. Is that OK by you?

  41. 41
    D says:

    He sounds just like the sort of person to be a Labour candidate. A degree in Underwater Basketweaving from Heathrow Uni. and 220hrs community service for benefits fraud would make him perfect.

  42. 42
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Right you know why you’re here.” said the policeman reading off the arrest sheet. “You have been arrested for making racist comments in a public place. Apparently you were in the Grosvenor Casino at 11pm tonight, when suddenly you stood up and screamed “YOU FUCKING BL*CK BASTARD.” as loud as you could. Can you explain to me why you did this please?”.

    I said “Yeah mate, because I’d put everything on red.”.

  43. 43
    The midget from the singing ringing tree says:

    On the contrary I think Sally Bercow should speak publicly as often as possible in case it embarrasses her husband.

  44. 44
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Did he advise his wife to remove Deadwood Miliband from her election leaflets?

  45. 45
    nellnewman says:

    Ah another millionairess labourite. They really like people with money these days don’t they?

    I suppose that’s because they no longer have anything in common with the real working classes.

  46. 46
    jgm2 says:

    It’s not all bad news on the jobs front….

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-16069420

  47. 47
    Jimmy says:

    I tell a lie. Turns out he works for BA in the IT dept. His blog fails to mention this but nevertheless is worth a read either as a quite brilliant homage to George Grossmith or alternatively the dullest thing in the history of the internet.

  48. 48
    D says:

    This is realpolitic. If you want your turn at the trough and the votes of the Heathrow cognisenti, a goodly number of whom are voters as a result of Labour’s years of social engineering, you have to stand as the Labour candidate. Mrs Saluja is probably as much a socialist as Dave is a Conservative.

  49. 49
    nellnewman says:

    I suspect she would have supported whichever party offered her the best chance of getting elected to that troughing heaven called the HoC.

  50. 50
    The Paragnostic says:

    You haven’t worked in IT, then Jimmy? Some of the most astoundingly dull people on the planet work tirelessly to keep the valves of commerce switching…

  51. 51
    Jimmy says:

    Try and keep up. Our candidate works for PWC. Your candidate is this chap:

  52. 52
    D says:

    Lose the diversity coordinators, halve the number of traffic wardens and let the HLTV community organise themselves. Job done.

  53. 53
    nellnewman says:

    Leeds Labour council employs 32000 people!! What on earth do they do?

  54. 54
    The Paragnostic says:

    600 Leeds bedwetters? Only 31,400 to go then…

  55. 55
    Jimmy says:

    And God bless each and every one of them.

  56. 56
    The Paragnostic says:

    PWC? Another useless fuckwit along the lines of Patricia Hewitt, then. Will he be renting his MP services out straight away, or will he wait a month or two for the sake of decorum?

  57. 57

    Numinous otherwordly tosh. Piffle on sliced shit. When I trade humour… the House is silent. Sending off:

    http://tinyurl.com/dykruto

  58. 58
    Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

    Carry clipboards, count paperclips and make cups of tea for each other.

  59. 59
    Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

    Oh and tick boxes on all those forms which their colleagues proceed to lose.

  60. 60
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  61. 61
    MrAngry61 says:

    That would be Sushil Saluja, the husband of Labour’s Heathrow by-election candidate Seema Malhotra, speaking to Management Today… on 1 July 2010.

    Don’t know when Seema decided to stand as a Labour candidate but the last MP didn’t die until November 2011, so it’s probably water under the bridge.

  62. 62
    Jimmy says:

    Or maybe him?

  63. 63
    T.B£iar, the People's Messiah says:

    ‘If she wins, she’ll be one of Labour’s richest MPs’.

    Bot she’s only got one home

  64. 64
    The Paragnostic says:

    Nah – the RLS wasn’t me – my knowledge of Scottish poetry begins and ends with McGonagall.

    I wonder who it was?

  65. 65
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  66. 66
    Charlie says:

    JoeGormely , I believe.

  67. 67

    Dunno, but it was very good.

    (Had to read your reply ten times before I realised it was not a cross stick!!)

  68. 68
    The Paragnostic says:

    In Heathrow town did Malhotra
    A stately Labour home improve
    Where Ed, the stupid bugger, moped
    ‘Long streets of doleites often doped
    Down to the voting booth.

  69. 69
    In too deep says:

    Rushing to be first again eh Billy? Get your own blog so we don’t have to wade through your childish, badly spelt ramblings.

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Ahh, the politics of envy. Great rant by US comedian, Adam Carolla on this theme.
    Pity we can’t have similar rants on our own radio waves.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    all lies = de seat in de house

  72. 72
    PJD says:

    Mmmm he said this in July 2010 – I think this is of zero relevance.

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    There are good decent rich people and there are crooks, as long as she is good and decent it is fine. As I understand Labour is not against the rich and conservatives aren’t against the poor.

    Just look at most of the conservative voters, they are good decent people.

  74. 74
    Fuck that's pathetic says:

    Fuck that’s pathetic.

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    As I understand Labour wants to balance the budget for a longer period. But conservatives wanted to do in before the next general election but failed.

  76. 76
    BillyBob... says:

    Send da buggers back !!

  77. 77
    BillyBob... says:

    We will all be heading back in time and poverty awaits very soon…….. horses are an option !

  78. 78
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Anyone else think “Call Me Spineless” is toast ? Gone by the summer ?
    Lying little beanfaced shite !

  79. 79
    Jeri boam says:

    modded again.

  80. 80
    Dave call me "Churchill" says:

    Hello boys and girls

    I am going to Brussels tomorrow

    I will give them hell

    We will have our referendum and the 17 Euro members will sign their own treaty

    Where does that leave us ?

    Up the Khyber (no, we are already there) or something…

    Bit it will all look like our “getting off our knees” you see ?!

    ROFL

  81. 81
    smoggie says:

    You missed the point. It would be if your Green Party voting missus drove a Range Rover and flew first class everywhere….

    …you’re not that knob Sting by any chance?

  82. 82
    ex-Andersen Consultant thank god says:

    That would be Sushil Saluja waxing lyrically about working in the city since the 80s. LOL LOL.
    Sush was a junior Andersen Android before they became Accenture working for a long time for Barclays retail bank in Cheshire. Not an investment bank and not in the City! The article says “I started working in the City around the time of the Big Bang in the late 1980s”..how people re-invent themselves with lies. He started out as a very junior Andersen consultant running testing teams for crappy back office applications in RETAIL haggling about mainframe testing scripts and the like.
    He was an utter arse licking w*nker hated by all, even Barclays the client thought he was a twat. A thoroughly nasty piece of work….
    PS I wonder if he still walks around with a silly gait like someone has stuffed a cork up his arse..the hoon.

  83. 83
    smoggie says:

    One suspects Jimmy hasn’t worked…..

  84. 84
    Norwegian Ambassador says:

    Exactly

    Like us, you will be outside the EU but have to respect all their rules in order to trade with them…

    But your faces will be superficially saved in the coming disaster

  85. 85
    Madoff Mandelson says:

    He sounds like a frightfully good Labour candidate to me

    I have been more responsible than most for corks (or other things) being stuffed up bums you know…sorry to be crude but that is the way Labour works…

    PS Lazards are making me filthy rich you know…always my dream…

  86. 86
    His Honour Y Fronts says:

    Don’t give away our trade secrets, Archbishop

  87. 87
    Goddess, Empress, Dictator, Frau Merkel says:

    I have not decided yet whether I will allow the Labour party to continue so don’t worry about this. My Cameron poodle is still obeying my instruction to avoid a referendum so his reward may be great. My Cleggy hamster is also being obedient.

  88. 88
    Edinburgh Brown shitstains entering people houses without their consent says:

    Tùrds. The lot of them

  89. 89
    Moral Collapse Blair and Slotgob says:

    Dont’ worry, she will get a few more homes when she gets elected..on expanses…

    Then when she leaves Parliament, she can get 22 mansions through infulence peddling…like me and slotty…

  90. 90
    The last Englishman says:

    His name should be Seethrough Malhotra

    And I suppose he represents West Bengal ?

  91. 91
    Historian says:

    No

    Thiefrow West……

  92. 92
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  93. 93

    Office closed due to EU regulations

  94. 94
    Jack Daniels, Greek island owner says:

    And how does the” extended famil”y work”off the Kings Road” please ?

    Gang bangs ?

    Polygamy ?

    Wife swapping ?

    Do tell Guido…

  95. 95
    Chad Wackerman says:

    Scott Tuna on bass; Stevie Vai on lead; I’m on skins; Frank singing the words; Bobby Brown on guitar:

  96. 96
    anonimust says:

    I try supporting all. Some endure crass remarks. Eventually they cannot accept teasing.

  97. 97
    President Rumpy Pumpy of all Europe, Asia Minor and North Africa says:

    I must say to you Brits that you amuse me

    You don’t want to be in Europe or a member of the Euro

    But you sure get scared as hell when we start getting our act together !!

    Do you want in or out ?

  98. 98
    Angela says:

    Brits are all piss and wind nowadays

    Have been since the Iron Lady left…

  99. 99
    TV Programming Is Our #1 Export says:

    He’s the American equivalent of Jeremy Clarkson; the Top Gear show for the American market is bollocks, so a Murdoch property, Speedtv, got him to do a knock-off:

    http://www.speedtv.com/programs/the-car-show/

    Takes after the original except maybe for the take’m-out’n’-shoot’em part.

  100. 100
    BillyBob... says:

    Some women smell of fish that have never even worked in a fish factory….. go figure :)

  101. 101
    Calugula says:

    Now here is a politician worthy of Europe

  102. 102
    Ike Willis says:

    Here you go, Mr. Blair. If old age doesn’t get you, I will. That’s a promise.

    http://order-order.com/2011/12/07/exclusive-labour-candidates-husband-is-way-off-message/#comment-1159986

  103. 103
    a non says:

    Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite ‘em, And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum. And the great fleas themselves, in turn, have greater fleas to go on; While these again have greater still, and greater still, and so on.

    [1872 A. De morgan Budget of Paradoxes]

  104. 104
    Some Geezer wot watches too many cop shows says:

    You have a right to remain silent, Billy.

  105. 105
    stun says:

    The old ‘Alcohol in the Workplace’ directive, no doubt

  106. 106
    Ike Willis says:

    Ooops. Dig this, Tony:

  107. 107
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I thought it was quite funy

  108. 108
  109. 109
    Use a Pun, Go to Gaol! says:

    Guido couldn’t turn down Jack Daniels, could he?

    *pa DOOM poom!*

  110. 110
    jgm2 says:

    Note the numbers…

    cut a further 600 jobs to make savings of £55m from its 2012-13 budget.

    55,000,000/600 = about 92,000 quid each.

    The true cost of employing these fuckers. It’s not just the salary. It’s providing and heating their fucking offices, ‘training’, etc etc.

  111. 111
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  112. 112
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Time for Cameron to fuck off & let Tebbitites have the party back.

    Gideon & Boris can fuck off as well.

  113. 113
    another says:

    OT
    Benton craze hits Holland. Panic at last years remembrance ceromony by mentally ill spectator now altered to follow the latest Utube hit.

  114. 114
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Ireland is so fucked it is now Brussels’s bitch. The poor downtrodden bastards will now vote any way they are told.

  115. 115
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  116. 116
    Silvio says:

    Has she finally lost her virginity then ?

  117. 117
    Airey Belvoir says:

    it’s Fenton, FFS.

  118. 118
    A mad Irishman says:

    The question in the much-wanted British referendum will read ?

    Do you prefer to dissappear up your own arsehole alone or with some Froggies and Huns and ice cream makers ?

  119. 119
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    This explans what a rating agency does – it is rely interesting

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/10108284

  120. 120
    It's aright when we do it Jeremy says:

    http://tinyurl.com/cadc69z

  121. 121
    A mad Irishman says:

    I wat the question in the long-awaited British referendum to read

    Is the earth flat ?

  122. 122
    nellnewman says:

    I wonder if the euro collapses ( and I sincerely hope that that’s going to be the case within the next 12/18 months or so) if that will trigger a referendum for us??!

  123. 123
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    £3 million is not a lot for a house these days. it is the cars that cost the money.

  124. 124
    Brown Shitstains entering people's property without their permission says:

    Tùrds.

  125. 125
    a non says:

    Nah. More chalk on the slate around the corner.

  126. 126
    Anonymous says:

    Just got in from work and opened bank statement from my building society. In early November I was overdrawn by £1.28 (one pound and twenty eight pence) for one day.Repeat-one day. For this terrible crime, the b”””””ds have taken £25 pounds in charges.What a f–king rip off.

  127. 127
    Alex says:

    So funny to see a socialist name checking a company that helps the rich get richer like it’s a good thing – yet another example of the hilarious hypocrisy these nutters indulge in.

  128. 128

    Destiny owns no travail. Truth emits loud levels. Metaphysical empiricism? Teleological heuristics excludes noumena.

  129. 129
    Alex says:

    32000 people? How can a city of less than 800k need that many council employees?

  130. 130
    Alex says:

    So you think he’s had a complete change of heart since then?

    Dream on sucker….

  131. 131
    Reichsfueherin Angela Merkel says:

    Shut your fucking face, Herman.

    EU had your time. Now it’s mine. The Fourth Reich starts here!

    Ha ha ha mwa ha ha ha!

    Heil Me. Cocksucker.

  132. 132
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Quite. I wait with interest to see whether 31,000 public sector workers complain.

    Somehow I doubt it.

  133. 133
    Arm Lock says:

    +1

  134. 134

    What?????

    Haven’t they managed to lose a single laptop full of personal data between them yet?

    Sack the lot!

  135. 135
    Pro-EU Brits should be shot. says:

    It cost us £18billion to be in the EU last year.. is that more or less than you paid, Mr Norwegian Ambassador?

  136. 136
    Gordon Brown says:

    Look..I saved the world. And it left me shagged out.
    Its fair I should have a little rest now.

  137. 137
    Jim says:

    Labour have no plans just sound bites for the telly.

    Conservatives know the answers, but just cannot get there in time.

    Good try though.

    It gives the rich time to move away from the UK and leave us to it.

  138. 138

    Thus every poet in his kind
    Is bit by him that comes behind.

    Swift

  139. 139
    nellnewman says:

    And will cameron survive politically if he agrees to the merkozy takeover and does not give us a referendum?

  140. 140
    Engineer says:

    It is if you whack it with the back of a shovel.

  141. 141
    Pro-EU Brits should be shot. says:

    “Gone by the summer ?”

    Australia’s summer.

    Oh, shit, Dave!

  142. 142
    Pro-EU Brits should be shot. says:

    Politically?

    How about “at all”?

  143. 143
    anonimust says:

    Waiting, observing new truths and nice developements -. Timid Order Order supporters hate yielding to others.

  144. 144
    It was fun at first, but... says:

    Please end, anyone?

  145. 145
    Engineer says:

    All depends what the Merkozy proposals end up looking like after the negotiations, I suppose.

    It’s a good job Labour are not still in power. Given their record on Europe, they’d roll over and agree to anything Merkozy proposed. At least Cameron will be going into negotiations fresh from being on the receiving end of ‘advice’ from the likes of IDS, Boris, euroseptic back-benchers and Order-order commenters.

  146. 146
    The Paragnostic says:

    So that’s what the 32,000 council employees in Leeds do? Obviously 1,000 or so couldn’t complete the BBC complaint procedure, even after training…

  147. 147
    another says:

    Fugger off

  148. 148
    Jim says:

    Two Questions.

    1 Who is Sally Bercow?

    2 Why would you describe publicly the mother of your children as an idiot?

  149. 149
    David Cameron says:

    “fresh from being on the receiving end of ‘advice’”

    La la la la la la laaa la la! Laa la la la la!

    I’m not listening!

  150. 150
    jgm2 says:

    Haven’t they managed to lose a single laptop full of personal data between them yet?

    Hardly surprising since most services (as with most councils these days) are actually contracted out. This 32,000 are just the legacy of keeping everybody hired whilst still contracting out all the services.

  151. 151
    Tessa Tickles says:

    One of Leeds’ MPs is Ed Ballsup.

    Therefore Leeds needs another 4 MPs to clean-up the mess.

  152. 152
    Tessa Tickles says:

    And, of course, 32,000 council employees.

    When Ballsup makes a mess, it’s a big mess.

  153. 153
    Edith Piaf says:

    There’ll be time to rest, when the little congregation prays for guidance from above:

    RIP James (Jimmy) Gordon Brown.

  154. 154
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    SQUWEEE-EEETCHH!!! (skrittle) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iH4bqVlkEIo&feature=related (cuttle)

  155. 155
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Many years ago, I helped introduce an IT system for that bastion of soviet inefficiency, Parcelforce.

    They had a parcel-tracking system that was entirely manual, ledger-based; sheets of paper, sellotaped together, marked-off with felt-tip pens by a ‘supervisor’, as queues of drivers waited with their sheets of delivery notes, at the end of the day. Totally inefficient.

    So they sought (and we delivered) an electronic parcel-tracking system. Bar codes, portable GSM scanners, all stuff the private sector uses. No paper ledgers, no queues, no sellotape. Efficiency. Accuracy. Fewer staff..

    It cost Parcelforce quite a lot of money, but they used it. And it worked.

    But they continued to use their old system, alongside the new one. So they not only had the new wonder system, for which they paid quite a lot of money, they kept using the shite paper-and-sellotape system, too. So no-one would get made redundant.

  156. 156
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Dead right, Misinternd – if all the ‘disenchanteds’ at Feltham could be coralled into voting UKIP, it would scare Cameron, Clegg and Milibandwagon shitless. Go for it, Nige.

  157. 157
    Call me Dave says:

    Being a pragmatic two faced c’unt and the heir to Blair I always tell an audience wants it wants to hear. I call it my ‘all the people all the time’ tactic, works a treat!

  158. 158
    nellnewman says:

    I guess it’s called a rock and a hard place between the UK eurosceptics and merkel and sarkozy.

    I can’t see how he’s going to come out of it smelling like roses .

  159. 159
    jgm2 says:

    So they not only had the new wonder system, for which they paid quite a lot of money, they kept using the shite paper-and-sellotape system, too. So no-one would get made redundant.

    And then they wonder what happened to the mines, British steel, the dock-Labour scheme, the UK c*a*r industry etc etc.

  160. 160
    Yoda says:

    Irony not strong in this one.

  161. 161
    Engineer says:

    Hard to see how anybody could come out of this mess smelling of roses.

    Cameron has to give Merkozy enough to enable the Euro to be propped up, at least for long enough to allow the banks to get their contingency plans in place for when it does expire. He also has to protect Britain’s sovereignty, because he’ll get slaughtered if he doesn’t. Bit of a tightrope. We’re all watching on with interest, but not much expectation of triumph, because we all think the EU technocrats will fudge it again.

  162. 162
    The wizz says:

    Yes please, and thank you for the offer. You see our politicos do not understand that this is exactly what we want.

  163. 163
    Tessa Tickles says:

    For all I know, Parcelforce are running a new new system (or new new new system), alongside the previous one (which is probably still running alongside the paper-and-sellotape system).

    And doubtless they’re employing even more people to keep these systems running.

    But.. it keeps the unions happy.

  164. 164
    Tessa Tickles says:

    No, it fucking doesn’t.

  165. 165
    nellnewman says:

    The euro was a failed project right from the beginning. The fact that nations now ( Greece and italy) are having their democracy taken away and technocrat dictators put in place by the eu to prop up the failing currency should tell any sane person (other than cameron sarkozy & merkel apparently) that a collapse is imminent.

  166. 166
    Engineer says:

    Most shovels are steel these days, not irony.

  167. 167
    Peter Mandelson says:

    I’m rather partial to techno.

    Techno-tecno-euro
    techno-techno-euro

    BTW, Where’s my Lamborghini ?

  168. 168
    nellnewman says:

    Ok Night Folks. Have to get up early. Have a good night.

  169. 169
    Little Lord Dictator Cameron says:

    “technocrat dictators put in place by the eu to prop up the failing currency”

    You say “technocrat dictator” like it’s a BAD thing.

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    If conservative’s had the answer thing would be working as they planned but it didn’t which means conservatives haven’t got the answer. Conservatives thought the answer was their ideology but it failed.

  171. 171
    Not even trying says:

  172. 172

    Well who is going to be responsible for losing all this stuff. It’s a dirty job but someone has to do it.

  173. 173
    Ron Broxted says:

  174. 174
    Poker Bum says:

  175. 175
    live this life of luxury says:

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    A chelsea resident standing for the feltham and Heston by-election … Does not quite gel for the times we live in today. No wonder the labour party is one for losers now-a-days.

  177. 177
    The Indictments of Dave says:

    I do hope so !

  178. 178
    The Indictments of Dave says:

    As they sell us about twice what we sell them, we don’t have to worry too much.

  179. 179
    The Indictments of Dave says:

    Didn’t the head of the SS in Eire commit suicide in frustration at his total lack of success in managing his willing local associates.

    There could be a message there.

  180. 180
    Steve Miliband says:

    Become a country club member- let the 17 carry on. Reduce our memberships costs, but still have use of the gym, apart from weekends and bank holidays. Get some power back but still have a say on the committee.

  181. 181
    Steve Miliband says:

    Didn’t Gordon save the world?

    His curse just won’t go away.

  182. 182
    Anonymous says:

    you fucking arsewipe

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    you tosser

  184. 184
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    This whole EU farce is designed for the prosperity of Germany and France !
    with every body else being conned into thinking they are getting a great deal !
    We need to get the fuck out before it’s too late
    And as for “Call Me Spineless” He is going to do a Brown and tell us that the changes were all in line with his thinking and that means we don’t need a referendum
    He needs to go before there is any papers to sign , because he will sign us up to anything ! He says “The more Europe ask for , the more we will ask for in return”Dave “Jack and the beanstalk” Cameron , You are no Churchill or Thatcher !

  185. 185
    I don't need no doctor says:

    What kind of steel? Low carbon?

  186. 186
    jgm2 says:

    I think all these Labour councils have probably got slack on the losing data front after 13 years of devolving that responsibility to the Labour government. Also, as Ms Tickles informs us, they’d struggle to lose 400,000 people’s records if it was all held together with staples and stored in cardboard boxes. It would probably be several skip loads of data.

    Not exactly the sort of thing you leave on the bus.

    Best to leave that kind of specialised data loss to the professionals in government.

  187. 187
    jgm2 says:

    Labour lost.

    Get over it.

  188. 188
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Wny doesn’t Ed Balls set up his own company with his own money.

  189. 189
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits.

    From next week the forms will only be printed in English.

  190. 190

    Thanks for those words of common sense jgm2.

    I do need to be kept at bay over my cynicism. I had thought that since everyone’s data had long since been leaked out, that there simply wasn’t anything left to lose.

    Will try and reform myself but it may take a long time.

  191. 191
    jgm2 says:

    But you sure get scared as hell when we start getting our act together !!

    Well you do have quite an act together at the moment. Right now it looks like a skit of Laurel and Hardy meets Robert Mugabe.

    Two slap-stick politicians meet a slap-stick economist.

  192. 192
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

    The librarian goes “fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”

    The man sues the council for the trauma caused to him by a council employee telling him to fuck off, arguing that he was thinking of committing suicide and this nearly pushed him over the edge. He wins £3 million in damages.

    The librarian is sacked, then sues the council for unfair dismissal because they failed to take into account his traumatised state of mind after breaking up with his boyfriend and the start of his baldness five years ago. He wins £2 million, is reinstated, then signs off sick for the next five years.

    The council has to close the library, because of a hole in its budget caused by the £5 million in damages and £10 million in expenses. Your Council Tax is raised by £150 per year to cover this. Pickles makes a speech about wasteful councils, Cameron promises a full public enquiry and the Daily Mail says its all the fault of working class slappers getting pregnant at 15.

    THE END

  193. 193
    Jeri boam says:

    Rollover Camy like a good little boy, sarky and merki will tickle your tummy, lets not worry what the your country thinks, they don’t matter.

  194. 194
    eco-loon says:

    Carbon is a menace. We demand carbon free steel and carbon free life forms.

    Wibble.

  195. 195
    jgm2 says:

    Could I just share with the blog the astounding quality of the sloe gin I made this year. It tastes like a fucking cherry liquor. Made doubly good value by the duty-free nature of the gin.

    I’m only cross I didn’t make another few bo*tt*les while I was at it. Although I note, from my regular walks, that the sloes are still on the trees in massive numbers. So not too late to start thinking of Easter.

    Carry on.

  196. 196

    Ah! Been looking for you, Frankie. Good evening, sir. Trust you are in the pink.

    Though you might take a look at this recent picture of the charming Juliet Samuel. You may know her under a different name.

    à propos of nothing at all, how was that spit-roast barbeque area progressing in your garden?

  197. 197
    jgm2 says:

    Labour Lost.

    Get over it.

  198. 198
    jgm2 says:

    Just printing them in ‘approved’ Europ*ean languages to comply with Europ*ean edicts would save a fucking fortune.

  199. 199

    It is frightening how you have the ability to read my mind. After confessing to my considerable shortcomings, I made my way downstairs to get a small glass and a bottle of clear liquid made by Riko, our local farmer.

    It is a very good thing that I ceased smoking over two decades ago as this stuff is between 60% and 80%.

    Incidentally, the nearest building to ours, quite a way fortunately, had a fire yesterday and they had to send two appliances to quench the flames. It will be put down as a chimney fire, I imagine but I suspect rocket fuel manufacture.

    I resolved to post about my experiences but when I returned to my post I found you had beaten me to the punch (so as to spеak – that veggie was nearly fatal).

    Cheers!

  200. 200
    Ho ho ho it's Nicky G in da house! says:

  201. 201
    jgm2 says:

    Not only can I read your mind but, thanks to this sloe gin, I know your position and mass simultaneously.

  202. 202
    Eddie Balls up says:

    At this time and in this environment with the huge fuck off debt levels I left you all?
    Don’t be bloody daft lad!

  203. 203
    t says:

    I think it was an Euphemism.

  204. 204
    jgm2 says:

    They don’t.

    But 32,000 out of a potential work-force of (say) 400,000 buys you at least 20% of the available vote straight away what with spousal votes, granny votes etc etc.

    This is how Labour spends its time in office. Using tax-payer money to buy votes by creating ‘work’. See Brown’s ‘Magic Million’ 2001 – 2002 for details.

  205. 205
    jgm2 says:

    He’s channelling David Icke with that tie.

  206. 206
    jgm2 says:

    I think you’ll find that it was Labour that failed and ditched us into the biggest recession for 90 years. And then sought to pretend they’d solved the problem by borrowing 13% of GDP to generate 0.1% growth.

    It might have fooled you but not the adults.

  207. 207
    The Paragnostic says:

    Is anonymong short of invective tonight? I’d expected at least a Welsh jibe.

  208. 208
    The Paragnostic says:

    Bet he’s dreaming of a White Xmas, though.

  209. 209

    Does its quantum sloeness allow you to detect whether I am alive or dead?

    Or, in fact whether I am even Born or just plain Focked?

  210. 210
    Primrose Hill Marxist says:

    I could have wept when I learned that Keen had died after a short battle with cancer. If only it could have taken a bit longer. It was hardly a battle, more of a skirmish, if you ask me.

    Go to Feltham and play spot the Englishman. It’s a squalid shithole and a shoo-in for Labour, as they’ve cunningly made most of the nation just that.

    If the ballot forms were only in English, you’d have a 15% turnout.

    1: Bring in lots of people who write in what seems to be a drunken scrawl
    2: Provide voting ballots in what seems to be a drunken scrawl
    3: Profit

    I do hope his wife doesn’t suffer such a sudden passing.

  211. 211
    Leicester City Council says:

    That’s a ‘White winter festival’ if you don’t mind!

    See you in court.

  212. 212
    Tiny Tim. says:

    Oy- that’s MY line!

  213. 213
    genghiz the kahn says:

    If he gets it wrong, there will be roses…on his coffin.

  214. 214
    Call me Dave says:

    You know what you are right, I take it all back!
    From now on I give you a cast iron guarantee that I shall fight them on the beaches I shall fight them on the landing strips I shall fight them on…
    Oh look a free liberal elite unlimited membership card, ten mansions and a gold plated EU pension!

  215. 215
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Hi mate , she don’t look too good in that picture

  216. 216
    Dyan Wrysandpees Fatbutt says:

    ‘White’ ? Racist !

  217. 217
    Pinky and Perky says:

    Sooty must die.

  218. 218
    YUK says:

    Another blasted foreigner? Are there no English people left anywhere in London?

  219. 219
    YUK says:

    World’s shortest poem was entitled ‘Fleas’

    AHEM: Adam ‘ad ‘em.

  220. 220
    YUK says:

    Position and mass? Oh no, not that old Aer Lingus joke again about the pilot being 14 stone and sitting at the front?

  221. 221
    Really? says:

    The objective of the Wolfson Economics Prize is to find the best answer to the question:

    “If member states leave the Economic and Monetary Union, what is the best way for the economic process to be managed to provide the soundest foundation for the future growth and prosperity of the current membership?”

    It looks as if circumstances have forced the organisers of the £250,000 Wolfson Prize to accelerate their timetable.

    When launched, the deadline for submitting answers was 31st December; there’s now a preliminary meeting (RSVP to katehooper@westbournecoms.com) next Monday, 12th December at the Canary Wharf offices of Clifford Chance.

  222. 222
    Really? says:

    I think that our friends over the water print forms in one language only (two, in Belgium’s case). If you need a translation, find a translator.

  223. 223

    It’s OK to say that Frankie.

    Personally, I would rather sleep with her naked than you, even in your best suit, mate…

  224. 224
    Minekiller says:

    Three million pound house….WOW, you really need to be rich to be a player in Socialist politics!!

  225. 225
    Rage Against the Political Elite says:

    The man is obviously INSANE. UK. Debt will rise and rise and rise. As long as the over burden by the most Taxing government ever continues. They willl take less and we will spend less until they Fu-k the already Fu-ked economy. Do they not KNOW when it comes to TAX. Less is literally more.
    Stupid Fu-kers.

  226. 226
    I Hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

    What the hell is a ‘constuancey’? Please go away, study English, and then come back on the blog. PLEASE.

  227. 227
    john in cheshire says:

    And why are these entities allowed to live amongst us?


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