December 6th, 2011

Bell Pottinger Power Point Presentation

Bell Pottinger sources are emphasising that a pre-condition of the deal negotiations with the fictional “Azimov Group” set up by the Bureau of Investigative Journalism was evidence of a reform agenda in Uzbekistan. To be fair to the left-wing BIJ they do mention it tucked away in their report. But here is the introductory Power Point they gave in the now infamous meeting:

So they were telling the “Uzbeks” to reform…

UPDATE: This is what Bell Pottinger were offering to spin:


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    aint Tony Blair doing something dodgey there?

    Hope you all recovered from colds yesterday :-)

  2. 2
    anon says:

    Am I being completely stupid or is there nothing actually wrong or corrupt about that?!

  3. 3
    Colonel Blimp (retd.) says:

    Who the fuck cares?

    Non event #1

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    But is this spin any different to Cameron portraying himself as an arch Eurosceptic at the general election in order to win votes, when all along, himself,Hague and Osbourne are all paid up members of the ELITE TORY PRO EURO GROUP, comprising Helsetine,Clarke,Brittain and Howe?

    His recent 3 line commons whip confirms this as does this weeks abject surrender to France and Germany;at least Chamberlain brought back a piece of paper!

    Cameron, the traitor.

    Thousands of British jobs will be lost in the city of London Financial Sectors as Cameron cedes control of it to the French and Germans.

  5. 5
    Sophie says:

    It will get worse.

    Cameron has sold out his own country & cut a deal with the Germans & French already on the Banking Tax.

    He wants to succeed where his hero Blair failed – President of Europe.

    Everyday he remains at the helm is a day neaer to the destruction of the Conservative Party.

    Vote UKIP.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Percy Longprong says:

    Lets leave this for Air Miles Andy to sort out.

  8. 8
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The Gay Dyslexics Assosiation are putting on a Christmas play about Scrooge in the local theatre.

    It’s called Bumhug

  9. 9
    Sir Harry says:

    Will the Prime Minister be making a public statement today regarding the escalating military crisis around the British Falkland Islands?

    Will a statement of unequivacol support for the British citizens living there be forthcoming from the PM today?

  10. 10
    Sour-Kraut AnGela's shiny communist puppet says... says:

    Total non-story. Nobody gives a flying fart. Mean while, back in the real world….

  11. 11
  12. 12
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Wasnt there a Sci-Fi writter called “Azimov” ?

  13. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  14. 14
    Loungelizard. says:

    Relax, Vince Cable says it’s all going to be OK….Phew glad that’s sorted.

  15. 15
    Major Eyeswater says:

    Which do people think would be more likely to end child labour in Uzbekistan, this lobbyist’s work or that of say, Amnesty or Oxfam?

  16. 16
    Jacon Stoatgobbled says:

    Well its nice to see an Association improving the lot of its members, before they formed it probably would have been called Buumgh

  17. 17
    Trinny says:

    Surely the clue that this was a sting was when the google search only turned up one result for the Azimov Group.

    No alarm bells going off? Doh!

  18. 18

    U’r up early , darlin x !!!

    Is u boned up on all ur readin , hun ??

    SC x .

  19. 19
    Colonel Beauregard T. Lafayette says:

    Watching those children picking cotton brought tears to my eyes and those of my flower of Southern womanhood Missy. It reminds me of those old days when she and I would sit on our verandah, sipping our bourbon and branch water, listening as the darkies would sing as they worked in the cotton fields. Those were good old days! Then came the Northern Aggression and boll weevils. Never been the same since. Missy and I would like to thank you for that walk down memory lane, Guido.

  20. 20
    Fisted Citizen says:

    Bell Pottinger are the Lords of Darkness / lobbying / disinformation. This will likely be the first of many cracks in their armour.

    Good riddance.

  21. 21
    Alyingstare Campbell says:

    Azimov ??? Azimover more like it.

  22. 22
    Major Eyeswater says:

    I think an in/out referendum is now a certainty. If the treaty process itself doesn’t demand it, then the subsequent EU tax grabs under the new order definitely will. Keep the faith: the darkest hour is before the dawn.

  23. 23
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Wont Ireland have to have a referendum?

  24. 24
    Passing Thought says:

    Sometimes I just despair about the cesspit of politics and the hangers-on of coat-tails. Depressing news whichever way you turn.

  25. 25
    Gordon Brown says:

    this afternoon I will be considering my options regarding the imminent changes required in the Brown household for bum wiping technique.

    I am currently using the “mitten” which I agree is wasteful, but I am resisting change to the single sheet as i am concerned about “finger up the bum”.

  26. 26
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Only if Der Fuehrer allows it. Heil Angela

  27. 27
    COOOEEEE !! says:

    Message to Schrody’s cat :

    I’s had a proper gander at ur works an my eyes thought they woz well-impressive , honey :)

    E x .

  28. 28
    Toryboy says:

    Totally agree. Who gives a fuck? Bell Pottinger were asking for substantive reform before agreeing to act for them – achieving far more than any prissy self righteous charity!

  29. 29
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Wasn’t Billy – watch for apostrophe’s and sometiimes leave them out. Yes there was an Isaac Asimov who started life as Ozimov and books with Cosmic Corkscrew.

  30. 30
    annette curton says:

    Sarkosy “a forced march toward re-establishing confidence in the eurozone”, ha, Napoleons retreat from Moscow with Stalingrad Merkel, how dare Standard and Poor’s suggest our credit ratings will shortly be shot as well.

  31. 31
    Really? says:

    Yup. Those pesky Uzbekhs must be all of a hundred years behind us, what with having their children still help to bring in the harvest.

    Maybe THEY can start a campaign pointing out the inhumanity of our antiquated school holiday timetable; forcing idleness upon children whose lives are blighted by enforced periods when they are deprived of useful work, their brains anaesthetised by computer games and violence.

    Amnesty should get involved.

  32. 32
    Sucky & Sucky says:

    Crap ppt. to match snake oil sales pitch.

  33. 33
    Loungelizard. says:

    Salmond will try and screw anything the English might want. Setting up a referendum will be beyond the capabilities of our civil service.

  34. 34
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    If the spinners say that stories about lobbyist spinners are untrue it must be trus mustn’t it. Or have all of these spinners got me with a Chinaman?

  35. 35
    You couldn't make him up says:

    Foundation and Empire
    Second Foundation

    That should keep a few things hidden,

  36. 36

    We both put somethin into that , hun x .

    U polished the job off beautifully , if i may sez so x . :-) :-) :-) :-)

    The sign of lovin someone is that u lets them have the last word sometimes .

    SC x .

  37. 37
    Tugboatden says:


  38. 38
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Beauregard take off the sunglasses and notice the difference in skin tint. Bang goes all of the nostalgia to be replaced by the nightmare of modern salvery.

  39. 39

    Did your earth moooove for u , hun ????

    Luvs ya xxxx .

    SC x .

  40. 40
    Anne Drecks says:

    Single sheets are about as much use as those clear greaseproof sheets some local authority sadist specified for the lats at school.

  41. 41
    Displaced Brummie says:

    How strange that B-Job seemed not to notice all the dodgy dealings of Labour.

  42. 42
    I go off on a bender says:

    Don’t despair. Pour another drink.

  43. 43
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    I remember those – they sort of slid across your arse without out actually removing anything.

  44. 44

    I did not want to be vulgar , petal , an boast of our exploits xx .

    But when u is proud of sumfink , that u has both had a hand in (if I may put it that way…) , yous gotta let it all hang out , so’s to spеaks , hun x .

    SC x .

    (Very nasty little veggie just avoided there…)

  45. 45
    coshbrew says:

    I remember doing that as a kid – we had school holidays to do it in. It was called “tater picking week” We need to remember not everyone is at our stage of development. (I am assuming this is just to get the cotton harvest in and not full time occupation for those children0

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:




  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Everyone seems to be a winner including Air-miles Andy except most of the people living there. This is the government that boil humans.

  48. 48
    Ja, that is Schmidt says:

    You’ve got an extra apostrophe there old chap.

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    This is called “Cash for Accesses”. It is up to the voters to decide whether they was it in UK. In some countries it is called corruption in others its fine.

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    In other words, Cameron knows what he need to do to be PM.

  51. 51
    Ctesibius says:

    None of them

  52. 52
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    didnt ED miliband accept a donation from someone involvedd in selling a mansion owned by the government that boils humans?

  53. 53
    Hannibal Lecter. says:

    ‘This is the government that boil humans’

    I don’t see a downside to that.

  54. 54
    James says:

    Kids picking cotton to earn cash instead of ‘offering their wares’ on street corners?

    What’s your point, Guido?

  55. 55
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I doubt Doctor Lecter would boil humans. Casserole them, maybe. Sauté, definitely. But not boil.

  56. 56
    One Can Only Ask says:

    How many years prison time does attempting to seek pecuniary advantage by deception attract these days?

  57. 57
    Potty Kettle says:

    That’s right. It’s being going on there for many years – bussing the kids there and back to get the crop in. Still sheer exploitation tho. The Uzbek oligarchs then sell the cotton on the world market for Dollars – lavlee jablee!

    But is it worse than having newspapers delivered by kids in Britain when they go out in the traffic, alone, in all weathers often in the dark to strangers houses and get paid peanuts?

  58. 58
    Speight's Boys says:

    As a precursur to a long slow roasting on a low heat, a quick boiling has something to recommend it.

  59. 59

    Friday will see the final departure of bendy buses from London’s roads. As a tribute, I give you ‘Bendy Buses On Fire':

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    You have to ask him. Blair might be advising them as well. But Cameron is running the government. I hope you can understand the issue.

  61. 61
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Except he doesn’t. He’s just signed his own party’s death certificate.

    The Cons obviously loved their 13 years in opposition, so who are we to stop them rushing back to their comfort zone of political irrelevance? Let’s hope it’s a lot longer than 13 years next time. They don’t deserve to govern.

  62. 62
    David McGee says:

    Has nannygate thief Caroline Spelman got any business interests in Brazil?

    Any extended family with a new commercial green enterprise down that way perchance?

    There has to be a reason she is all glassy eyed in these austere times about giving away illions of British taxpayers money to “save the rainforest”.

    Something stinks here.

  63. 63
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Yes, but if they give the wrong answer, the ever-democratic EU will make them vote again.

  64. 64
    Democracy Now says:

    More to the point about the Tory party, Cameron is betraying his fellow countymen. Its about time we had a proper job description for prime ministers and a right for the general public to sue this mere public servant whenever one deviates from it.

  65. 65
    Tessa Tickles says:

    The was a really bad choice of words by the short-arsed Frog. Was it an error in translation, or does he really want Europe’s populations sent on forced marches this winter?

  66. 66
    Disliker of Bankers says:

    Years? None. Maybe a suspended sentance or more likely a pat on the head. It explains dodgy MP’s, Dodgy (or much worse like HSBC) Bankers or anyone willing enough to take as much of a liberty as possible with your cash or pensuion fund…or anything of value.

  67. 67
    Democracy Now says:

    How credible is that? Ha ha ha

  68. 68
    a non says:

    Point taken Broadsword.
    Simple substitution of Mississipi with Thames in the link below, reveals the burden of some folk yesterday has now become the burdens of the majority today. No yearning for the past, but a reminder of how progress has made many modern slaves to the system today

  69. 69
    Sophie says:

    No need for such formalities anymore where Ireland, Greece, SPain & Italy are concerned.

    They are vassel states with regional EU Kommissars – only sovereign democracies need worry about the ballot box.

    Poor Ireland – centuries freeing itself from the British Empire just to be swallowed whole by the Franco German Fourth Reich.

  70. 70
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And Neo only got back few days ago????

  71. 71
    Col. M.T. Kernel (retd) says:

    SIR- One sympathises with your reminiscences, sir. Sad to report that the situation here in Little Cockup-By-Widdling is becoming critical, good fellow. Myself and the Old Banger find ourselves practically snowed under with nig-nogs limbo dancing in and out of the Post Office on the Old High Street, sir. Mrs. K is becoming increasingly frustrated by her inability to understand the colonial mumbo-jumbo being spoken at The Cockup Women’s Institute these days. The few remaining die-hard natives of this, once fine, green and pleasant land huddle together for safety in the saloon bar at The Plug and Moat and lament the extinction of Mrs. Knobsworthy’s flapjacks in favour of The W.I.’s industrially-proportioned production of jerky, whatever that may be. It’s all gibberish to this old war horse, sir. As that hippy fellow once crooned, the times they might be a-changing….

    Yours, if I may so bold, Col. M.T. Kernel (retd)

  72. 72
    Guido Forks says:

    What are you on?

  73. 73
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Time the Tory Party got a fking grip and got rid of this tosser Camron before all the grass roots defect to UKIP.

  74. 74
    Col. M.T. Kernel (retd) says:

    SIR- It’s “you’re”, you dolt, sir.

    Yours, how many times does one have to point it out, Col. M.T. Kernel (retd)

  75. 75

    You could tuck it all in your sock, perhaps.

  76. 76
    Fuck the BBC says:

    Our testicles tentacles stretch far and wide for your enjoyment.

  77. 77
    Marmite says:

    Do one Sophie, you shrill harpy. When the blog name ‘sophie’ appe*rs, we don’t need to read your comment as it’s always the same.

  78. 78
    Ron Davis ex-MP says:

    I was looking for some ‘Access for Cash’ on Clapham Common once.

  79. 79
    F-Britain, I support the Liblabcon says:

    The tory grass roots are as welded to their moronic party as Labour loons are to theirs.

  80. 80
    Col. M.T. Kernel (retd) says:

    SIR- One may have omitted a *make* whilst signing this piece, sir.

    Yours, somewhat rusty and a tad squiffy, Col. M.T. Kernel (retd)

  81. 81
    Uncle Joe Stalin says:

    Paul Robeson– My favourite Yank singer.

    As long as we’re on the subject of glossing over unpalatable truth.

  82. 82
    A. Grammarian says:

    Frau Merkel is a woman, so it should be “Die Fuhrerin”, dummkopf!

  83. 83
    Airey Belvoir says:

    A classic description of some over-botoxed, facelifted actress; “She wears the permanently startled expression of someone who’s finger has just gone through the toilet paper.”

  84. 84
    Randy sod says:

    E—— does yous fancy a kwik stiffy dahlin? I fancies yos somefink roten. Big sorries to cat an all that jizz. x
    I tryed to harsk yos yestday but yos hignored me. Whicked chick

  85. 85
    Kraut Rucks, Yaaaaarrrr! says:

    Alles klar, Herr Kommissar?

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron is a traitor. The hatred people have for Cameron will be transferred to theTory Party if they don’t get rid of him quickly.

  87. 87

    Same problem here. The film may be a shocking expose of child slavery or it might be a contribution to family income made by children at harvest time, no different to pea, apple or hop picking or even, in my case, helping on Dad’s barrer.

    Without knowing the context, I don’t know whether to be outraged or not. Even the source says “Determining whether they were taken away from their studies or forced to work in the fields proves more difficult” but goes on to say that the schools are shut by the state during the harvest. Which implies they are open the rest of the time and the state offers an education.

  88. 88
    Bell Pottinger says:

    Yes, more stuff like this please.


  89. 89
    Hoo Flung Dung - Chink in the a(r)mour says:

    Did you call perchance?

  90. 90
    DCI Brian Lane, ret. says:

    I’m really attempting to be less loquacious and boring so I’ll let the link do the describing. Asimov set up a decision-making process that all artificial-intelligence must adhere to lest they turn into HAL 9000:

    Of course only a confirmed anorak would have known this shit anyway. Somebody do a “Clarkson” on me, I can’t go on like this!

  91. 91
    The Last Postillion in Peckham says:

    Old war horses don’t die – they just get chucked in the glue pot. Us oldies may have to take, er, measures to rein in this Camroon chappie.

  92. 92
    Use a Pun, Go to Gaol! says:

    Why don’t you “Googly” it and find out?

    *pa DOOM poom*

  93. 93
    BadenBaden Poll says:

    I always tear a corner off first – to use to clean the nail afterwards. be prepared and all that

  94. 94
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    A Grammarian. What proof do you have that dear Angela doesn’t have balls – she certainly acts like she has!

    I was using the word as a title and not as a descriptor.

  95. 95
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Ist etwas klar dummkopf?

  96. 96
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    And an extra I too. I could explain that I was spelling at Billy’s level so he could understand it but it was actually just the curse of the keyboard.

  97. 97
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    How is that related to the Turing test?

  98. 98
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Is the glass empty already? Which swine drank that? Another one?

  99. 99
    Great grandaddy says:

    I used to happily help the local farmer collect his spuds when I was that age. Don’t recall any local council busybodies coming round with a bundle of elf’n’saftey leaflets though. Good exercise and lots of fresh air. What’s not to like?

  100. 100
    You're repeating yourself says:

    You’re repeating yourself

  101. 101
    Edinburgh is full of alkies junkies and dogshite. Get it sorted NOW! says:

    Is Edinburgh twinned with Uzbekistan?

  102. 102
    Jeffrey Dahmer says:

    I preferred boiling, but that’s just me.

  103. 103
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Has the cat got all your tongues today,…Neo Con scum.

    Emma West appeared in court today, funny how The Mail and Express aren’t having a campaign on her behalf….LOL…You all go to ground when the pressure is on !!!!!!

  104. 104
    Isaac Asimov says:

    Two separate issues. An artificial intelligence doesn’t need to demonstrate ratiocination on morality sufficient to convince a human that it’s “not just a machine” in order for it to observe the Laws. It’s just gotta behave itself, is all. Much like Members of Parliament; they don’t have to prove they’ve worked out the moral consequences of corruption– they just gotta behave themselves, is all.

  105. 105
    Major Eyeswater says:

    Yes, and – to be sure – they’ll try and finagle a new bailout deal from the Fuhrer to persuade their electorate to fall in line. The Irish are working up a sob story about how they “took one for the team” and saved Europe’s banks by guaranteeing AIB etc.

    Sad really, to see a people ‘That were beaten into the clay/ Through seven heroic centuries’ so reduced in themselves that they must plead for their pittance from a German ruler who despises them.

  106. 106
    Colonel Blimp (retd.) says:

    I’ve gone!

  107. 107
    Colonel Blimp (retd.) says:

    Are you SURE she is a woman?

  108. 108
    Vince Cable's rucksack says:

    Not a bad pitch, but what would I know? I’m only a rucksack listening to Vince’s droppings.

  109. 109
    Bellend Pottinger says:

    fro £10 I can get you in contact with

    Winston Churchill
    Benny Hill
    Count of Montecristo
    Hair Bear (from the Hair Bear Bunch)
    Phillip from Rising Damp
    Robert Wilhelm Bunsen
    Albert Tatlock

  110. 110
    Milligan from beyond the grave. says:

    Don’t worry Brian, the three laws of Robotics will probably be the safety bedrock of programming any multi-purpose robot – i.e. with some proper degree of self determination. But as Asimov also wrote in one of the stories, a robot might still kill his human master by using a logic workround Just hope to live long enough to see it and it is Mr A Campbell..

  111. 111
    Get Food Poisoning from the Masala Pot in Edinburgh says:

    Scrounging arsewipes.

  112. 112
    Mercian says:

    What’s wrong with kids helping with the harvest? After all, that’s the reason schools in this country have always had long summer holidays.

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