December 2nd, 2011

Hancock’s Lover Speaks Out

Guido was wondering which Sunday would get this, but it seems Russia Today have somehow scooped them:

“Are you a spy?”

“No”

“Did you have any contact with Russian security?”

“Well I explained my contact was Boris…”

Glad we cleared that one up then…


116 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Boris?

    Not THAT Boris ;-)

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    “Were you really attracted to Mike Hancock?”
    “…er”

    • 42
      Former Head instructor Joint Services Interrogation Resistance Course says:

      Having watched this clip and the interview on Panorama on Wednesday night. I can honestly say that she is a highly trained operative in interrogation resistance, two things give it away, staid facial expression (part of the training), excessive hand movements (dead giveaway). The question about fancying Handycock clearly threw her. I bet none of this was missed by the security services. She is covering up for him, probably because he is one of their most important Agents in the west.

      • 52
        Loungelizard. says:

        If he’s one of their most important agents in the west I’ll sleep easy. I’d be more concerned if she had a thing going with Larry the cat.

      • 61
        Anonymous says:

        She seems to have slept around with others involved with defence. If she is a spy, why didn’t she go for Fox and his especial adviser?

    • 45
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      Of course she fancied me. I am irresistible to women and the younger they are, the more irresistible I am. Boaz.

  3. 3
    School for scoundrels says:

    Never mind that, did you see Chuka on QT last night not knowing the difference between gilt yields and the Bof E interest rates?

    • 19
      Shire Tory says:

      +1

      • 23
        Chin Chin says:

        Chucky Egg wouldn’t know the difference between longitude and latitude he is that thick.

        • 27
          School for scoundrels says:

          But I thought Gordon taught him everything he knew… Oh, wait…..

          • Scotch Git says:

            YEAH.|£2+£2= £9999999999999999999999999999999999999oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo overdraught. Brown economics.

    • 38

      Where have I done one?

      That’s a bit personal , isn’t it ?? x .

      SC x .

    • 43
      Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

      But we can set our the interest rates when we sell gilts , cant’t we ???

      Gordon said that if the market tried to push down the price of gilts, he would just hurl Nokias at the dealers to prevent yields rising. Failing that, he would just go to his money trees in the gardens of Downing Street and pick some more money off them. Chucker was correct: a Liebour government can set its own interest rates. No problem.

    • 49
      AC1 says:

      >the difference between gilt yields and the Bof E interest rates

      The first is a real number, the second is a cloud cuckoo fantasy number.

    • 95
      Anonymous says:

      Ken Clarke made mincemeat of him.

      • 99
        Joe the Plumber says:

        A mentally retarded child whose home language was Yoruba could make mincemeat of him—oh, wait!

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe the OLD judge in her case thinks there is nothing wrong with banging a chick in her twenties :-/ when your OLD which there isn’t :-/

  5. 5
    From Russia with love says:

    Would smash her

  6. 7
    Spartacus says:

    An inquiry judge would believe her

  7. 8
    The David Militwit Fan Club says:

    When is the girl going to get her eyes tested? How sad and desperate she must have been to sleep with Handicapcock.

  8. 9
    EUSSR - papers, show me your papers. says:

    What a joke this country is.

    Its feffing obvious that she is a spy.

    Why the hel would she be banging Handcock et al if it was not for the pillow talk?

    • 48
      Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

      Because I am ‘tender and the most sincere person she has met, I am her teddy bear and her King Louis.’

      Of course she now knows that I am a lying bastard, telling her I was off to Iraq (A place I have never been near), when in fact I was in Paris, shagging someone else, all, of course, on expenses. Jahbulon.

      • 94
        Anonymous says:

        Handycock is a Mason?

        • 106
          Grand Master, Grand Lodge, The Strand says:

          As are more and more MP’s becoming so, as a result of Mike Handycock getting away with near murder almost every month, as a result of our protection. Boaz.

    • 81
      God's Holy Trousers says:

      Yet another sign of terminal decline in England when we cant even deport riff raff like this.

    • 89
      smoggie says:

      If she is not a spy then what the fuck are the FSB doing?

      Of course she has been reporting back to Moscow. Obviuously Handcock is too obsessed to see this so someone should sort the dirty old twat out. One way or the other.

      • 98
        HRH Duke of Edinburgh says:

        I and Her Majesty are in complete agreement. This Pervert Handycock, is clearly a Russian Spy. Why does he keep visiting there and why did he say he ‘lost his passport in the sea’ when he was asked how many visits he had made. Why does he keep making these ridiculous statements about former Soviet Republics being models of democracy and human rights? Any idiot can see what is really going on. Bugger the ‘Wilson Rules’ arrest him and bang him up, and not in the nonce’s wing.

        • 105
          HM The Queen says:

          One is in complete agreement with one’s Husband. This piece of sh1t is bringing shame on the country, on the Institution of Parliament and on the Liberal Democrat Party; I cannot understand why they have not deselected him and removed the whip, he never votes for his Party, anyway. Even when I go to meetings with Commonwealth Ministers his name comes up constantly as a sick and perverted joke. He must be removed from his post as an MP and brought to book, the Pervert. I wish I had more power, I would do it myself.

      • 113
        James Herriot says:

        Allow me. If Mrs Handycock is reading this, I can have him sorted out in a simple, painless operation. When they get to that age, some do get a bit ‘funny’. Afterwards, he’ll be content to stay close to hearth and home – no more leg-humping the gas man or the vicar. No more running off for days and slinking home stinking of heaven knows what and needing a bath (may put weight on – watch the diet).

  9. 12
    Polly's Villa in Tuscany says:

    I’d like a sexy sandwich with her and Ivana Humpalot…

  10. 14
    Archer Karcher says:

    Interviewer: So were you genuinely attracted to Mike Hancock, or was there an ulterior motive for starting a relationship with him?

    Russian Spygirl: ( long pause ) As I said already and will say again, it has been scrutinised to such an extent in court and now when I have the verdict, I do not think I have to explain myself in any way…….

    There ya go Mikey boy, tru luv.

  11. 15
    Ken LivingScum I Presume says:

    Boris? I new the London Mayor was a commie spy.

  12. 16
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    @Cat

    I wont respond to sockpuppets and moniker thiefs, i will just have to trust that all yous spot em as well.

  13. 20
    Chin Chin says:

    She looks more like a swallower than a spitter to me.

  14. 21
    Chin Chin says:

    She looks more like a swallower than a spitter to me.

    Chin Chin.

  15. 28
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Guido was wondering which Sunday would get this….Well it wont be The NoW for sure….LOL

  16. 29
    Displaced Brummie says:

    This is how the questioning went:

    “We believe you are a spy. Please tell us what you had to do to obtain the information?”

    “Well. I had to watch whilst Mr Hancock fondled and caressed and tongue-kissed an under-age girl. Then I had to let him have sex with me.”

    “Hell’s teeth! We feel you have suffered enough, my dear!”

  17. 30
    Chin Chin says:

    Baba Yaga is going to eat her soul.

  18. 31
    annette curton says:

    Just because you are a foreign spy that is not a valid reason to be expelled from this Country, everybody has the right to make a living in his or her chosen profession, this undeniable truth is enshrined in European Human Rights legislation as Justice Pensions recent legal ruling has confirmed.

    • 75
      annette curton says:

      Don’t bother to post it twice now, dick wAD.

    • 100
      Joe the Plumber says:

      If this country can welcome smelly, coarse haired, ugly, brown-skinned terrorists who like to defecate in the street, surely we can find room for a blonde hottie who bangs like a shithouse door in a thunderstorm.

  19. 33
    annette curton says:

    Just because you are a foreign spy that is not a valid reason to be expelled from this Country, everybody has the right to make a living in his or her chosen profession, this undeniable truth is enshrined in Europ8an Human Rights legislation as Justice Pensions recent legal ruling has confirmed.

    • 40
      Trevor McDonald has taken over the BBC says:

      I kid you not but that is also the BBC’s opinion. Panorama was really angry that the security services had asked this obviously innocent young lady who makes a habbit of shagging old lecherous men, all who have links to western defence, if she was a spy. They were truly outraged that MI5 could think such a thing.

  20. 34
    bergen says:

    “And what first attracted you to the elderly and dishevelled MP who sat for the main base of the Royal Navy and was a member of the Defence Select Committee?”

  21. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron is a liar Cameron is a traitor, Euroslime Dave will betray us again.

    • 39
      Troll Detector Van says:

      Beeep beeep beeeep!

    • 97
      The Golem says:

      That is a given but, unless something’s brewing in the Party, no-one seems to have the means to do anything about it.

      • 103
        Really? says:

        It may be that the depth of the shit we are in is acting as a shield of invulnerability around him. I hope not, as that would mean his survival would depend upon us staying in it.

        Mind you, if that argument worked, we’d still have James Gordon Brown visiting parliament on at least a weekly basis.

  22. 37
    Loungelizard. says:

    She had the abridged version of Hancocks Half Hour.

  23. 47
    Troll Detector Van says:
  24. 51
    The KGB says:

    Listen Guido

    I know you have your man in Moscow finding out about the dictatorship we are continuing…but really..

    London is such a lovely soft spot where we can domicile all our billionaires who have pillaged the country and use your legal system to our advantage

    Ande we already own the Independent and the Evening Standard to further our cause of gentryifying the oligarchs and miscelleanous KGBeasties who still exist

    Leave this little girl alone…she is not even a pawn for us…

    • 58
      Loungelizard. says:

      From what I can make out most of the old KGB chaps are over here claiming disability.

  25. 59
    Boris Johnson says:

    I’ll fuck anything that moves, me.

  26. 60
    Laid Dem MP says:

    Me too!

  27. 65
    Scotch Git says:

    Sorry, Overdraft…Confused by the huge numbers.

  28. 66
    Anonymous says:

    She is definitely NOT A SPY because she doesn’t have a double entendre name…

    Ekaterina Zatuliveter = NOT a spy…

    Ekleitoris Zoneveibrator = SPY…

  29. 71
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Just underlines what a laughing stock Hancock really is.

    Instead of representing his constituents in Westminster he spends all his time shagging in Brussels.

    Maybe its the sprouts that keep his Mrs Happy :-)

    • 72
      Jethro says:

      …reminds me of a very old joke: Man goes to Dr., and tells him he’s got a pain in an awkward place. Dr. says, ‘Right: let’s have a look.’ When he’s pulled up his trousers, the Dr. says, ‘You know boxers often get a cauliflower ear.’ ‘Yes, Doctor.’ ‘Well, what you’ve got is a Brothels Sprout.’

  30. 76
    Anonymous says:

    I Spy with my Japs eye ,something beginning with C

  31. 79
    I want to sodomise Priti Patel says:

    You must have missed Panorama when she was on there giving a full and detailed interview.

    Clown.

  32. 80
    BillyBob... says:

    I would knob/mount her, good news for her is I am not as ugly as handycock…..

  33. 82
    Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction, Judgie-Wudgie says:

    “The reason I consort with British Defence Establishment types? I’m, I’m…embarrassed to admit, sirs, but…you know how some white girls like black or Asian blokes and vice-versa? The ‘forbidden fruit’ kinda thing? I was a weird little girl in Russia who read James Bond and Tom Clancy novels, and…I dunno, that’s what sets MY heart all a-flutter. There! I said it! And I’m glad, do you hear? I hope you’re happy now!”

  34. 83
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Nobody is shocked, only in her poor taste of blokes. But she has certainly widened the circle of her friends. Although after this delightful interview, we learn that the MI5
    are complete hoots. Zey don’t understand modern Russia and zat all young Russians are busy learning ze Russlingish zey get it wiz ze mothers milk. Who knows perhaps she is spying onl old Handy-Cock for ze MI5…ve hev vays of finding out.

  35. 84
    barrowboy says:

    Pearls & high-heels ( nothing else) now that is class. R.T. on freesat is the real antidote to the UK`S deathly boring tales of the X factor and Emily Knobrot`s
    tit transplants.
    The ” Keiser report” at around 0800 or so, is the big bacon butty to begin the day with. 5 star entertainment.

  36. 90

    Or as Mrs Merton would have said ” What did a young beautiful girl like you see in that ugly old NATO diplomat?”

  37. 92
    Anonymous says:

    Not really a shocker as she works for RT…

  38. 101
    Anonymous says:

    Guido you tool. You might like the “smart” one liner about Boris, but just like Clarkson, you took it out of contact.

    For the window lickers, try to actually listen to the interview. She explains very clearly that her contact Boris may indeed be a spy, but as far as she is concerned it had nothing to do with her.

    We might as well say “Irish fucker Fawkes is PIRA because he’s got friends over the water and takes advantage of the Irish loopholes to run his business”.

    You’re really slacking Fawkes. I’m sure it must be because you didn’t get the chance to stick one up the fucking inquiry, which is a pity, because I was looking forward to watching you destroy that pompous c unt.

    You do good work, but your inconsistency does you no favours.

  39. 116
    BlowMe says:

    Oh give me a break. I’m not a spy but my handler is….

    So MI5 don’t know about Russia. What a ludicrous statement.

    Oh and MI5 should be open with all of their information and methods etc as the FBI? So in order to be professional then MI5 should publish all of their information. But sweetie, that would do you out of a job….идиот!!


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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