No PMQs Coverage Today
Neo-Guido is in Russia nursing a hang-over and Guido is otherwise engaged. Sorry.
How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
no worries, can we just use this thread for it?
Yes.
….but you can’t say c|_|nt on here
Can’t say c unt on here?
I can say cυnt. There!
Give yourself a pat on the back, dear
As I mentioned earlier I may not post much today. The depot is striking and the gate is closed. Probably not safe for me to walk over the picket line to sit in the booth. Fuck, coffee is expensive in starbucks and I am wondering whether I should really have a second cup.
Thank fuck for that, Billy. My piles are bleeding profusely today. Have as many coffees as you like.
You have to laugh at MiliBalls screaming foul every time they open their mouths when the whole country sees they have no fiscal credibility whatsover.
If Labour want to be taken seriously (and we do need a credible opposition) they need to get rid of the discredited old guard and bring in new blood – although I am not sure a pretty public school rich boys like Chuka Umunna are the answer
Best ask the unions who they prefer to front their party
At PMQs Ed again failed to dazzle
Put off by the Christmas issue of Razzle
It showed Harmen centre spread
Reclined on a bed
Displaying her latest vajazzle
Russian hangover?
You need to keep in practice with vodka and build up stamina of the system.
Try Mongolian vodka, it is in my opinion the purest and while you fall over drunk and have to be carried away, you wake up with a clear head in the morning.
Also Mongolians are THE world champions at vodka and any spirit drinking, so do not try to keep up with them, even if you believe you can.
The fuckers have gone on strike, outrageous!
And thinking on, don’t millions of public sector employees turn up for ‘work’ with hangovers every day until lunchtime?
Then they go to the pub, have hair of the dog and spend the afternoon sleeping it off. Until 16:30, when it’s back to the pub again.
That sounds just like the Guy News room…….
It’s all a rouse – we’ve been had by an elaborate union sting; Guido is a scouse dockyard shop steward!!
& then a little ‘sharpener’
Bye the bye,Dick the Prick is Billy !.
Yeah, I just drove past a mob of tax eaters from the local ambulance depot blocking the pavement on the main road and trying to make eye contact and elicit support from passing motorists. I most happily gave the tax eaters the finger which annoyed the neanderthals immensely…
good work
Get the groove man,we the people of the the people &
for the people,only wish & want the best that the dirty fucking
ESTABLISHMENT DENY US !!.
Mr Drive by (cab ?) you guys manage to get by !,all tax declared ??
BOLLOCKS.
Keep your gob & your arse separate !!
what a shame – Miliband is so crap its hilarious
Watching Miliband make a fool of himself.. it’s like Borat – I couldn’t watch it because it’s cruel. Deriving pleasure by watching people get humiliated just doesn’t float my boat.
Labour needs to show some compassion and replace him sooner rather than later. Keeping him in the firing line makes Labour look sadistic, spiteful and mean.
Aye. He’s the David Brent character in ‘The Office’. I couldn’t watch the show because it was just excruciating.
William Hague used to make me feel the same way – he just looked like he was trying to act like he thought a Victorian Statesman of stature would compose himself.
Same with Ned Miliband. He’s just desperately trying to look all growed-up but he’s clearly just a fucking embarrassment.
The T*ries couldn’t have hoped for a more useless figurehead as opposition.
what was that line he snuffled about people who earn more in a week than the Chancellor pays for his annual skiing holiday…..
According to Ed school dinnerladies are on about £200K a year. Why are they on strike?
Hague was so so bad about 10yrs ago with the baseball cap etc.
Fuck off BerHunt you pile of festering, fly-blown dog shit
It is a shame tho, Ed is poor, dave on form some good quotes.
Brian Sewell was fantastic on DP
‘Has Essex got a University?’
Think the ladyboy Jo Cockburn must have gone to Chelmsford College or something to study tap dance
I give in. Has it?
why are we even listening to MIliband about this – sat next to Broon whilst he buggered the country.
If he had raised his voice Gordon would have hurled a Nokia right through him
Red Ed needs a good slap
..Unison gag – trombone slide & symbols
Cymbals.
Snare drum ?
some good gags here by Dave lol
Yes you are,go forth &,well just go forth !.
(means fuck off !)
BallssEd is even funnier
LATEST: Al Megrahi has just kicked the mop.
LOL Dick.
Celeb watch : Andrew Strauss is not in the chamber.
Gorgon watch : Is McSnot in the house ?
What should I have for lunch?
Beer.
Morning Carlos : Gravdlax on soda bread… Decent Shiraz to go with it.
You ponce.
..it was either that or a kebab later.
You fooking poof, have ‘em all at once….bbbrrrrpp, paarrrrp, eere Tracy, fancy a shag?
Gideon soft on pensions & dole (again)
David Cameron is a lying turd.
He will be out in Spring 2012 and replaced by a Proper Tory.
What an arrogant Twerp Cameron is !
Nice early Pilgrims Q
Pilgrims – agree, but what about Gordon Brown???
Ps hope Neo-Guidos hangover gets better soon
Pure Vodka doesn’t usually result in a bad hangover IMHO
Yes it does
Agreed.
You rarely get a blinder but it does hurt if you drink enough. The Russians may drink it neat but they usually have lots of fruit juice on the table as well. That helps.
The ‘vodka’ brewed by those Estonian chaps in a Leighton Buzzard lock-up can literally blow your brains out.
Polish spirit would blind him, pure rocket fuel
How many tarts did he get through?
Jam, Bakewell,strawberry and choclate tarts so far.
I bet he’s been to Nightflight – a legendary establishment.
Bound to bump into Handycock as well.
http://www.nightflight.ru/
Or here I almost forgot this one – I thought it had been closed down but it still appears to be going strong.
http://www.hungryduck.com/NonMembers/FreeTour.asp
Have to love the review that says “You get laid even if you don’t want to”
The Mogster!!
Moggy from Central Casting surely?
Rees Mogg twatface question but good op for DC to say that everyone’s keeping calm and carrying on
Sack more than 700,000 of them!!!!!
That was a funny looking fellow
Public sector lazy, sick note, clock watching, time serving, incompetent plodders.
Y’day went to my nearest town and the public service workers I saw were:-
Three lorries parked way back under the trees (3.30) full of workers doing FA
Two walking with leaf blowers (not blowing) walking as though thro’ treacle.
My friend sent back from hospital after her op for breast cancer cancelled – theatre staff didn’t turn in, retrieved her shoes and found dirt, balls of dust, used sanitary towel and dirty paper hankies under the bed.
Refuse bins where the “worker” has to walk 20 yds to empy them still not emptied after three weeks. (Only emptied when public make formal complaint.)
Hi all! Just going to lunch! Can’t watch it here anyway. Have fun and see you all later…
Bye.
Hain Pantone Reference : 814B (Gavin Henson’s cock)
You’re on strike really – Supporting the unions
At last , common sense breaking out on early intervention
Can someone take a screen shot of this post by Guido, he said sorry.
#shockedbyGuidoshumilty
I wish David Cameron and Michael Gove wre both nursing black eyes.They are both incompetent fuckwits.
They deserve a good slapping
You’ll be waiting a long time for poor Mr Milipede to accomplish that. Or anything else.
I can think of somebody that needs a good slapping
Cockhead Cameron certainly is a fuckwit. Black Wednesday, folks!
FTSE100 up 38
FTSE250 up 52.1
FTSE350 up 19.35
When will cockhead Cameron resign and let Miliband reverse this trend??
FT100 May 2010 = 6010…YAWN BILLY..YAWN
FTSE Feb 1999 6100.
Ten years – no improvement.
What happened?
The value of your investments may go down as well as almost disappearing out of sight. Mind the fees there, mind the fees.
Blair, McRuin and the rest of the Labour Incompetents.
That’s what happened.
Jackie needs to go on the game
Twattish pension question from Hilling. There’s no money left dear
Christ, Fiona Bruce has let herself go
Closed question in PMQs – sound went off on sky s coverage. Anyon got any ideas what that was about.
How much is that doggie in the window?
Is she wearing a Jackson Pollock?
To Tories reading this, I would just like to say that my sons school is open, my other sons preshchool football and swimming lessons went ahead as the teachers children’s schools were also open. Our COuncil always out source bin collections anyway and so they went ahead and therefore the strikes have not impacted me one bit
Damp squib, load of Union crap – I wonder how the Unions will threaten all the schools to close next time?
Perhaps they should strike in August?
So come the next growth figures ( negative ) are announced…you cant blame the strikes
Since we don’t have to pay them for today and a good percentage are little more than form-fillers, box-tickers and busybodies I expect there could even be a positive effect on GDP and government expenditure.
Looks like he’s spent a turn or two at the trough…
Soft anti strike question marginally better than that chump Roy’s
Is Guido getting an overnight bag ready.
LOL
YEAP
I’ve seen that video
After you with the subject of your pseudonym, mate.
The parents are responsable for thier children, not the state.
scrap tax credits full stop and cut tax.
LOL
Billy you never fail to make us laugh
PMQ today Cockhead used Tax credits to jusify ALL his answers.. this from a party that pledged to scrap Tax credits in their manifesto
That must have ,i>really made the two Neds cross. Was Ned Balls signalling that he’d run out of air again?
Kill the firstborn to focus the breeders’ minds.
Is Neo-Guido attempting a honey pot trap of Handycock?
Cathy “Voice of the Steamie” Jamieson- glad London’s got her now lol
Is she still financing a fugative from justice ?
What’s with all these scotch Leiber mps? Why don’t they p*ss off back to no-man’s land where they belong?
because its a UK Westminster parliament- once you’ve read a book ask another question
We don’t want them. They’re yours now – you keep ‘em.
Not a good move.
She’s always let anyone with a big black cock in.
Mandelson’s free to come and go then.
Ed Miliband the unions puppet.
Muffin the Mule?
Is that still allowed under EU regulations.
Whilst we’re here, why do teachers always tell us they teach as it’s a vocation and Children desperately need them and at the first whiff of a strike they’re out the doors like rats up a drain pipe looking for hard cash.
……and playing golf or christmas shopping. If the teachers feel so strongly about the needs of children, why didn’t they do a days charity work in a nearby childrens home, instead of striking.
Most of them will be in the pub.
They also keep quiet about the 1 in 5 school-leavers who are illiterate.
1 in 5? That’s a majority!!
Same as the nurses.
They’re in it for the money. Because if they weren’t then they’d do it for half the cash. Like the equally qualified nurses from Sri Lanka and the colonies that we have to employ as auxiliaries to do the fucking jobs that our nurses are ‘too good’ to do.
Luckily, I’m employed in the private sector, dear. Unfortunately, the shit still smells the same.
and why has my friends teacher posted on facebook that she is in bluewater m and s?
My missus is at Bluewater today. Single-handedly doing her bit to keep the economy afloat.
Don’t forget to get your hair cut, clean your shoes, starch your shirt collar and press your suit Guido.
dont forget to bring your tooth brush
It’s not a laughing matter.
There are nasty working-class oiks in prison, and they do unspeakable things to your bottom.
They still dont get it. GUIDO – IS GOING TO JAIL. Watch and learn
Don’t you generally have to be convicted of something first?
@Jgm2
Not in the eyes of a scoiaist.
It’s “Don’t”, not “dont”.
Wear brown trousers, you know it makes sense.
…don’t pick up the soap.
Nope. Given leveson’s pitiful performance this morning in front of alycampbell the biggest leaker, liar and spinner in the business , Guido’s got nothing to worry about
Andy Cocksonm and The whore Brookes will be on trail soon. under oath….Keep a night bag guido
I’m sure Andy Coulson and co will be every bit as honest as Blair and Campbell were over cash-for-honours and with Mr Chilcot.
Jolly Roger
Interesting impact the strike is having. Word from Heathrow is that immigration control is working better today than it ever has.
Take government away and the country will work better. I’ve been saying that for years.
That was quick!
Ever seen cats eat? We don’t fuck around.
Yep!
Im am reminded of one partcular stretch of oad which I used to travel along on a regular basis. It was a nightmare of traffic lights every 50 yards for about a mile stretch. On one occassion sadly all the lights malfunctioned and traffic ran smoother than ever with the journey time along it being cut substantially.
Sky headline says ‘Millions walk out in Protest…” but further down it says up to 2 million (ie probably less than 2 million) Question is what is smallest number of strikers to justify the use of millions plural?
It has to be two million plus. Which it is not.
7.3?
Decimals Alan. Didn’t know stamps were sold in decimals. Obviously learning more now you’re out of office.
A lot of people don’t have a fair choice. Have a family member who wants to work but is too scared to cross the picket line. Around here some schools are shut and some are open and it really boils down to the union reps whether they are strong or weak and can whip up support. The reality is that most staff would rather work.
I crossed the picket line- fuck em! Maybe we’ll be able to buy some kit today and not be held up by the paper shuffling Hunts.
Thanks for letting us go a mad of this thread for PMQS sir.
Question for Leveson.
HOW WAS DR DAVID KELLY OUTED? Was the media involved? Who was their source?
Billy….shouldnt you be at heathrow manning one of the border controls. You support the Big society bollocks after all
I hadn’t realised we could sign up to be border guards for the day. That would have been a good laugh. Can you please direct me to the website so I can register my interest for the next strike.
Thankyou.
By all accounts they don’t need any of us.
The PM’s secretary is over there this morning helping to man the border controls and heathrow is working better and more efficiently than it normally does.
Let’s be honest though nell, they’re probably not even bothering to look at anybodies passport.
Not that that is a big change either. They normally just open it to the photo page and swipe it in their machine. If they got a few check-out girls from Tescos they’d probably be able to process ten times as many people. Them girls are amazing with those barcodes. How do they do it? It takes me forever to buy half a dozen items from one of those self-service-scanner tills.
It’s probably going smoothly because they’re targeting people who actually look like wild-eyed weirdy-beardy terrorists, rather than little old ladies who smell of wee.
Would that be the little old lady carrying the urea nitrate bomb they’ve just let in, then…
Can I have Air Traffic control ?
Probably best to let somebody under 14 do that. they’re all amazing with them X-Box things.
Although they’re generally better at targetting things than avoiding things on those games so it might not end well.
Andy, shouldn’t you be out collecting money for your comrades? You know, the 710,000 public sector parasites who are about to lose their jobs?
Show some solidarity, man!
Their weekly wage now: £1,000.
Their weekly wage in about 3 months’ time: £67.50
Ha ha ha haaaa ha!
During PMQs Jacob Rees-Mogg asked Cameron if he should adopt the Reagan Approach…sack ‘em after all there are 2.5 million unemployed who would be only too pleased to do their jobs at the salaries and pension pot on offer.
Meanwhile “Dave” does his Flashman Act and smacks Ed all over the place before administering 6 of the best…”weak,irresponsible and left-wing” classic…much like “Red Ed” that’s gonna stick
Hahahah. Classic from Rees-Mogg.
I bet Ned Balls was peuce with fury. Hahahaha.
Go for it
700,000 more on the dole = economic meltdown in 2012-13
You can come back then and errrr “gloat”
We used to pay them £1000 per week, soon we’ll pay them £67.50.
By my maths, that makes us better off.
You’re not enjoying this, are you? You really wish Labour hadn’t lost, don’t you? But lost, they did!
Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!
Hahahahaha. Hahahaha.
Mustn’t gloat.
Ahahahahahahaha….
Big tick!
So will the taxpayer pay them more on the dole to be unproductive than they do now to be equally unproductive?
I’m waiting for him to say “but they won’t be spending any money”.
A shop makes a profit. Government taxes the profit. Government deducts a management fee. Gives some of the money to a public sector parasite, who takes some of the money back to the shop where he spends it, thus making the shop “better off”.
You know he’s going to say it. I bet you.
No.
Because even if, superficially, with dole, council tax, mortgage support etc etc it costs the same (which it doesn’t) you get a double saving because when they’re not sitting in some office desperately trying to increase their profile by looking busy by generating tick-sheets, meetings, residential courses for team-building etc etc that frees up the folk who actually do whatvever it is they do to…do whatever it is they do.
I could be because the depot is on strike today and the security booth at the gate is closed because there are no trucks coming in or out.
Leveson couldnt nail the tail to the donkey without the blindfold.
Guidos safe.
If I was Mr. Guido, I’d still have a copy of the FT down my britches, just in case.
Difficult.
Have you ever tried to nail a tail on yourself.
Please support us this year!
Please, please, phone in to one of our programmes and talk shit, to really make a difference to the public perception
Are they really phoning in? 710,000 of them. Are they describing their forthcoming poverty, in graphic detail? Explaining how they’re going to suffer? It’s almost worth listening to the Jeremy Whine show, to hear their fear. To hear how they’ll suffer.
Ha ha ha ha haaa!
“in Russia nursing a hang-over”
hanging out of a Russian nurse, more likely.
Don’t, you’ll break Billy’s heart.
….and his balls.
Not really – it’ll be a male nurse up for a threesome
Silver lining:- John Lewis very busy today. Underpaid civil servants stocking up for Christmas.
it is the few ones left working who are checking the latest expense claim by Ed & Yvette
” Stocking Up “…bum bum
Guido and Neo’s decision to take the day off from whatever it is they do is a gesture of solidarity which will be much appreciated.
As will be the down-tools of the two million compliance offices from whatever it is they do.
According to the Littlejohn style guide I believe the preferred phrase is “diversity co-ordinator”.
I actually knew a person who’s job-spec in public employment was compliance officer. Through her, I met several others.
Let us just agree on the description non-jobs.
Simple, clear and factual.
Why do you believe compliance officer is a non-job? Do you believe it is also a non-job in the private sector?
I hope this means Guido and little Neo aren’t members of unison.
Nah. Epicene, I think.
Unisex.
In the real world if you don’t like your terms of employment you find a job with more favourable terms
Union leader on sky just said they will strike to wreck the olympic games.
Go for it dude and see where it gets you.
Shock, horror, Olympics proves to be a big waste of money. Who could have seen that one coming?
How many Downing Street ” Servants” are out?
daves butler isnt
If you want my advice, I think you should seriously consider suing your old English teacher for wasting your time. Try and get your money back. And mine.
Or did you just not bother showing up?
Egg the public parasite fuckers!
Is thst the offical Tory line. Nurses, dinner ladies and care workers are parasites
Keep it up neo cons
Sky poll 71% support strike
Have you heard any good NHS stories in the last, say, 30 years?
They’re deathcamps. £120billion a year deathcamps. The “nurses” are the ones who stand around and chat, rather than actually nurse. You are aware they leave patients lying around in their own shit and piss?
Dinner Ladies? Come off it. Never heard of a packed lunch? And care workers? You have seen what they get up to, haven’t you?
And don’t pay any attention to Sky’s polls. Sky? Murdoch! Yuck! Hiss! Spit! Evil tory scum. Liar liar. etc.
the Press doesn’t exist to publish good stories about the NHS, but feel to fall ill, anytime. They’ll be waiting for you with the biggest f*cking syringe to plunge into your a*se ever- and all to treat an ingrowing toenail.
good luck
Our dinner ladies are at work. Mind you my kids go to St Cakes. If them fuckers start going on strike I’ll put them in another school that doesn’t go on strike.
Too bad most people are taxed to the hilt to support the strikers in the manner to which they have become accustomed and can’t afford that option.
I’ve already done that, sir, but your moderation algorithm prevented me from expressing it in words to your reader.
Red Ed said a school dinner lady earns as much in a week as the chancellor spends on his annual skiing hols
Never realised a school dinner lady earned in a week what Osborne spends on his annual skiing holiday. Think I’ll put me apron on and get down the local school.
Read it and weap neo cons
dole = 2.9m by 2013
debt = 1.47 trillion by 2015, 20% more than today
Yeah – terrible economy to get handed by Labour. Too bad they spent all the money isn’t it.
There really was no need to rub all our noses in it just for voting them out with a mocking ‘There’s no money left – hahaha’ note though.
You’ll be telling us there’s no money left next ya dufus.
At critical moments when staff disappear.
Where is the solidarity?
please please please can we have more of Jacob Rees-Mogg. Guaranteed vote loser
I’m sure he’s safe in his constituency. Just as the economy destroying lunatic Brown is in Cowdenbeath.
Guaranteed vote loser….across the UK ya spaker.
Like Brown, Miliband and Balls you mean?
The problem with that is that Miliband and Balls can’t be kept off TV come election time. They’re the … ahem … face of the party. The spluttering, whining, droning purple face of the party.
You think so- tell that to his non-MSP colleague in Kirkcaldy (now Eck Salmond’s kind of town)
Contract all Public Sector Posts out …
May 2010
Petrol = £1.11
Dole = 2.25m
Inflation = 2.9%
VAT = 17.5%
FT100 = 6100
Today
Petrol = £1.39
Dole = 2.6m
Inflation = 5%
VAT = 20%
FT100 = 5300
Keep up the apologising. Double dip now inevitable
Double-dip? Pah.
Might as well get it over with instead of pretending that borrowing 150bn quid a year constitutes some kind of ‘recovery’.
I told you I could do it. Ewa’s rarely wrong.
Basically petrol’s risen at the same rate as it has in France.
Brown did a load of QE, and lo and behold we’ve got inflation. No surprise there.
And all stock markets are down across the world, haven’t you been paying attention?
One final note, your dole figure’s wrong. You’ve shown an increase of only 350,000, but I distinctly remember Osborne firing 710,000 public sector parasites yesterday.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
You’ve shown an increase of only 350,000, but I distinctly remember Osborne firing 710,000 public sector parasites yesterday.
Music!!!!
not according to the OBR dufus
This Leveson enquiry has surely lost any shred of credibility by entertaining that fraud Campbell – do I remember correctly that he admitted to some form of mental compaint?
That must be why he appears to have no shame, I understand that some people are able to convince themselves they believe whatever they are saying at any given moment irrespective of their previous behaviour and comment. That must be what he is doing = there can be no other explanation.
I’m busy sorting out my leaky arse and my bladder is on strike. Worse – can only find a Polish plumber.
Update: the pie shop is shut today and I’m right famished.
your both closet blog strikers