November 29th, 2011

Autumn Statement

Guido wants to see measures that help the squeezed-middle, the tax paying voters who elected this government.

Prepare to be disappointed…


507 Comments

  1. 1
    Steve Miliband says:

    Aquaducts?

    • 15
      'Merry England' is a gayer's paradise says:

      rent boys on tap.

      • 21
        Last person in England to know says:

        Is Osborne a homosexual?

        • 27
          the PTB says:

          Sssh! We pay the fat pissed-up mick and others to plant storeys about Gideon’s wild prostitute flings to cover up the fact he makes M iranda Blair look like Casanova.

          • David laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

            I can tell you what they have not done for the middle classes:

            Budget – more taxation,spending and borrowing

            EU- continues subservience to the EU with powers being taken away ie arrest warrant, look at budget book. Cameron flies in the face of democracy and pulled every trick in the book to prevent the public having a vote on the EU- Cameron must go.

            Immigration- mass immigration continues out of control being a larger burden on the taxpayer and hence the middle class.

            Defence- military being cut without much change to Whitehall or back room staff despite unnecessary middle east wars. More expense on said taxpayers.

            Crime and disorder- Soft on crime Clark continues with liberal/socialist policies of reducing punishment to any well meaning term. 65,000 offenders committing 15 or more offences without any real punishment. ISSP for young offenders an expensive joke on the taxpayer.

            Universities and schools- standards deteriorate with social engineering. The UK still providing FREE university education to EU students who are the UK’s competitors, while stinging the middle class to pay £9,000 per year just for tuition (8 hrs on average).

            WHS- Health service provided for free to all citizens of EU countries. No checks are ever made to entitlement. Waiting lists rise as others are provided a free service that they are NOT entitled to.

            Public services- reform required but can not be achieved because ministers are incompetent and do not under their brief or find out what is going inside their own department. No joined-up thinking whatsoever to overall goal of reducing costs to budget. Ministers need to learn that you can not spend more than you earn. Constantly putting up taxes is NOT the answer.

            20 months of lost opportunity. Tories continue with Labour’s policies with Lie Dumbs hanging on to the shirt tails. Time for change, vote UKIP.

          • AC1 says:

            > WHS- Health service provided for free to all citizens of EU countries

            Free to attract the worlds burden of the sick and ill.

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            1. Continuing subservience to the Human Rights Act and, even worse, Harperson’s poisonous Equality legislation.

            2. Tearing down planning laws – here comes a concrete SE

            3. Letting Huhne implant his loony Climate change ideas and charge us all the more for his privilege.

            4. No real reform of MP’s expenses – indeed things have got worse in some areas with MP’s excusing themselves from new avoidance provisions.

            5. Tolerating that odious little tw*t Bercow as Squeaker.

            Cameron is basically dancing to Clegg and New Labour’s tune.

        • 75
          Anonymous says:

          He is mad.

        • 113
          Anonymous says:

          How much is Osborne’s Jag costing the tax payer?

          • Cynical-old-bag says:

            Half as much as Prescott’s 2 Jags, I expect.

          • Petrol Ed says:

            Used for the 400m or so ride from the Treasury to the HoP.
            WTF?

          • Aaron D Highside says:

            Q:How much is Osborne’s Jag costing the tax payer?
            A:Half as much as Prezzer’s two.

          • Gary says:

            Government ministers should be paid the minimum wage, nothing more.

            They claim they wanted office to serve their country, well then, money should be immaterial to them, and they should work for nothing.

        • 119
          deepthroat says:

          what’s wrong with George’s voice?

        • 271
          Our Denry says:

          You will have to ask Billy B he knows who is outing who these days, it has been rather quiet on the outing front but there seem to be so many of them to make no ripple

    • 22
      Tax Payer says:

      Since when did the Autumn statement become a policy changing ‘budget’?

      • 287
        The Money Supply says:

        Since they didn’t have a policy to start with.
        The Real Tory Party should shoot these too clowns as an example to others. The reality is if they carry on like this there will be no middle class worth the name.
        We need hard cuts that roll back the state with every £ cut split 50/50 half to paying off the debt and the rest in tax cuts. Its time people accepted that markets are unequal and the states attempts to redress this are a sham and futile. The market will find its optimum in long run if we have any sense we’ll help it get there sooner.

    • 32
      David Cameron says:

      Close; the HS2 railway, actually. You don’t want it, you don’t need it, but by Jove, you’re going to get it! Bulldozed all the way across the grotty English countryside.

      And my chums in the construction industry will get £34billion of your money, into the bargain, what what!

      Toodle pip!

      • 70
        A Very Pink Pound says:

        On the bright side, for that £34 billion or £70 billion, depending on who you listen to, you will be able to get to a gay wedding in Birmingham 15 minutes faster.

    • 84
    • 300
      Thick as pig shit voter from Cowdenbeath says:

      I voted conservative and got this shower of shit….Never again, I might for the the crack vote labour next time…

      • 350
        pissed off voter says:

        think again, there are other options. Labour gave you Blair and Brown. remember Brown? The clown in charge of finance who nurtured our current problems.

    • 342
  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fuck all, tho if he can restore the 10p tax rate that would be good.

    • 68
      Selohesra says:

      Restoring the 10p rate just gives a bit more to spend on fags and Sella – removing the 50p rate would allow (through my wife) some serious spending to kick start the economy

    • 72
      Anonymous says:

      Middle class will pay more in tax and lose benefits (e.g. child benefits) it receive. While the 6,000super rich will still avoid tax and the once living on benefits will get 5.2% increase in benefits.

      • 226
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Why on Gods earth should the middle class, or anyone not on the poverty line, recieve ANY benefits for?

      • 313
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        The 6,000 super-rich can up sticks and move themselves and their wealth-producing enterprises anywhere they wish . You’d think that after 13 years of tractor-factory economic policy the lesson would have sunk in. The Left didn’t learn that lesson in 1945-50, they didn’t learn it in Wilson-Callaghan, and they didn’t learn it in Bliar/Mong.
        socialists are economically autistic.

        • 328
          Anonymous says:

          Where can they go?

          1) If they go to China and do the same them might not have their head.

          2) India? Our richest man is from India as India taxes more.

          3) Dubai? If they can they would have already gone there as tax is zero. But there are reasons they cannot go there.

          4) They can only go to tax heavens we created, we can always close it.

        • 330
          Anonymous says:

          Where are they going to go?

          Will it affect our country if they really go? I don’t think so.

        • 346
          AC1 says:

          Autistic people have trouble telling lies.

          What do you actually mean by “economically autistic”?

          I would say socialists replace rational-thought with emotion.

      • 352
        poor bloody worker says:

        public sector pay freeze, and now limited to 1% for two further years. Increased pension contributions so quite a marked pay cut in practice. I work in a front line health service job, not a F ucking diversity officer.

        Yet the dole bludgers get 5.2% more to spend on beer and fags.

        There is no point in working in the UK anymore, just sign on.

        • 367
          AC1 says:

          My sympathies, however I’ve take a 25% pay cut in the last 2 years, and I have no job security (I run my own business).

          Your pay is my tax burden, i.e.unemployment for the people I would choose to employ.

          • poor bloody worker says:

            Its not my pay freeze that pisses me off so much as the pay rise for those on benefits. I could take the pay freeze if it was part of generalised austerity. Job security? 10% of my hospital staff are losing their jobs this year.

            Is this the time to reduce the incentive for workers and increase it for shirkers?

          • jgm2 says:

            10% of my hospital staff are losing their jobs this year.

            It’s a start.

        • 480
          Up the Workers says:

          Don’t you realise, there are poor people in this country who are starving to death, because after they’ve paid for their booze, fags and drugs, they’ve got no money left to buy food, you fascist. If I had a job I’d be on strike tomorrow.

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Sorry bit O/T Guido

    • 13
      nell says:

      YouGov again. They really are not reliable. they have been bought and sold by the leftwing and bias their polls accordingly. Who did they use for this one?

    • 196
      Desperate Dan says:

      In order to justify their ludicrous coverage, 5Live commissioned a poll that allowed them to say 60% supported the strike.

      • 483
        Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

        Yes, Radio Five Labour have been at it non-stop this week, haven’t they, trying their damnedest to whip up support for the strike. I see Huw Edwards has just let Balls make a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Labour Party on News 24 for ten minutes solid. Really, Goebbels has nothing on them – they aren’t even pretending to be impartial anymore.

        • 490
          Really? says:

          You really have to hope that the negative goodwill created by the Long March to Salford – and the implosion of their pension fund caused by investing in the global warming scam – means they have no future beyond the 2012 Olympics.

          Good riddance to bad rubbish…

    • 233
      Sophie says:

      YouGov is owned by Baroness Ashtons husband.

      Nuff said.

      • 340
        Not a fruitcake says:

        YouGov’s other top man – Stefan Shakespeare [he isn't from Stratford] – is part owner of Tim Montgomerie and his school cadet conservativehome. Boring totty free site – except for Ruth Lea, if that’s what you like

      • 356
        Observer says:

        Pardon. Who the fuck is this Billy Bowden chappie who apart from being a dimwit seems to be running a parallel blog on this site? Whoever you are Bowden fuck off and get your own blog.

        • 439
          fucky nell says:

          “Who the fuck is this Billy Bowden chappie”

          The best arse fuck you’ll never have, you vulgar fellow

  4. 4
    Another Engineer says:

    The government should do the minimum required for everyone.

  5. 5
    Steve Miliband says:

    More cuts less tax?

    • 104
      Spartacus says:

      That wont work

      • 304
        The Money Supply says:

        It will if you cut enough, you need to think back to Mrs T and cutting the state its Big Bang time again, it will hurt but illusion that there will be wealth for all is just that. If you want a viable middle class that keeps more of its income and offers a model of advancement to some of the lower orders then the low tax, small state is the only model you’ve got left.
        Unless you want to adopt some sort of EU/1984 super state that is slightly less violent to its citizens.

        • 326
          Grumpy Old Man says:

          Unfortunately, there is far too great a proportion of public sector rent-seeking Gaurdian-reading jobs-worths in the Middle class for it to be a model of advancement to the lower orders. Instead, the message is to get on the public teat and cling on like grim death – hence the teacher’s and other PS Strikes coming up.

          • jgm2 says:

            Indeed. Brown’s ‘Magic Million’ were awarded a comedy degree in 2001 followed by a middle class lifestyle overnight as Brown made good on Labour’s ‘education, education and education’ promise by awarding the first cohort of new graduates from 1997/98 with a million shiny new public sector jobs conjured out of fresh air.

            Every university cohort since has been scratching its head wondering what to do with their comedy degree but the class of 2001/2 never had it so good.

    • 354
      AC1 says:

      http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danielhannan/100120405/how-to-cut-tax-while-cutting-the-deficit/

      There was once a Conservative Prime Minister who, by holding public spending steady, allowed the economy to grow faster than the government. Although there were no net cuts, the private sector outgrew the public. Result? Tax revenues increased, tax rates fell, and national debt was repaid

  6. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    I left a golden inheritance.

  7. 7
    Mr Picky says:

    What Tories are there any in Government ?

  8. 8
    Tuscan Tony says:

    No liveblog then.

  9. 9
    I'm sure another of your visits to Washington will cheer your up says:
    • 18
      Tax Payer says:

      And contract-brides. It must be a strain, sometimes.

    • 47
      Brown sauce on everything says:

      I feel sorry for you Sahara Brown

    • 48
      Sarah's crocodile tears says:

      Families with lost loved ones? Like the families of British soldiers who were shot to pieces and blown apart, for want of decent equipment, thanks to Sarah’s husband.

      In Labour’s illegal wars.

      • 64
      • 80
        Rat's arse says:

        +ever so many. :)

      • 89
        AC1 says:

        Illegal? They were voted for in Parliament and thus legal.

        You were doing so well until the end bit.

        • 109
          Rat's arse says:

          Yep AC1, Parliament did vote for the wars, after being told a pack of lies by BLiar & co.

        • 130
          Tax Payer says:

          A vote in parliament does not negate International law

          • AC1 says:

            Oh dear. There’s no such thing.

          • International Law, a slight drawback says:

            International Law?

            Who pray tell, is going to enforce it against any of the major powers?
            Oh, nobody.

            So this International Law stuff is a handwringers charter, designed to let the holier than thou feel ever so rightious and morally superior, without the inconvenience of actually doing anything.

            Yep, that should work out well, when you try and make your citizens arrest on Omaha, or any other NWO stooge like Bliar.

          • Get a Grip says:

            In what legal jurisdiction was the war deemed illegal? Vague ‘down the pub’ style statements that it was ‘against international law’ does not make it illegal.
            You may also have noticed that their is no ‘Arab Spring’ taking place in Iraq, despite all of the other issues which Iraq has, most of which were under the surface under Saddam.
            What do you think would be happening now in Iraq if someone as paranoid and brutal as Saddam was still in power and he felt himself threatened by the current ‘Arab Spring’?

          • jgm2 says:

            What do you think would be happening now in Iraq if someone as paranoid and brutal as Saddam was still in power and he felt himself threatened by the current ‘Arab Spring’?

            See Libya and Syria for details.

          • AC1 says:

            and Libya and Egypt are looking like they’re going to elect a theocracy.

          • Theo Cracy says:

            And what’s wrong with that? I’m on Dragons’ Den and you all love me.

          • fucky nell says:

            not as much as I love that old bird who looks like Les Dawson in drag – I fucking would

      • 361
        Observer says:

        Sarah never a truer word spoken in relation to the psychopath Brown who, when Chancellor, in a spiteful vendetta against Blair and to spite him kept the purse strings tight when it came to requests for better equipment. The snivelling grovelling Geoff Hoon instead of resigning in protest simply shrugged his shoulders and dreamed of his next property purchase. Both these swine should be air-dropped into helmand province with best wishes for a safe return.

      • 469
        Sir Ian Paisley says:

        Tory party relaunched as Newest Liebour.

    • 79
      jgm2 says:

      Well stop thinking about them then you stupid woman.

      Think happy thoughts. Like how you and your husband now get to spend so much more time together with the kids now that he’s not got such a terribly important job that takes up all of his time.

      Oh. You meant that lost ‘loved’ one….

    • 112
      David Kelly's Ghost says:

      Hopefully you can join us very soon.

  10. 11
    Wiltshire Indy says:

    Have emailed my MP (Robert Buckland, Swindon Sth) asking him to pass on my concerns about the ever increasing tax burden. Don’t think anything will happen but if you don’t ask you don’t get

    • 238
      Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

      The increasing tax burden is completely necessary in these straightened times. If we did not have the money to pay my expenses, how could I possibly continue my important diplomatic work in Russia and elsewhere in the former Soviet Republic and also in the many orphanges I visit. Some political work is far too important to cut. Boaz.

  11. 12
    Zzzzz says:

    Ken is sitting very upright. Is this his way of avoiding falling asleep as usual?

  12. 16
    Ed Miliband says:

    I’m thtill waiting for Charlie Whelan to texth me my thtatement. I can’t thpeak till he tellth me what to thay.

  13. 17
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Boom & bust-tastic. Hope McSnot is listening to this.

    • 31
      nell says:

      Playing with his train set in the attic

      • 85
        jgm2 says:

        Playing with his monopoly set and musing about how wonderful it would be if everybody had a million pounds.

        ‘I wonder – why don’t governments just print money and give everybody a million pounds and then we could all be rich.’

        • 110
          Tuscan Tony says:

          I like your thinking. Large quantative easers all round!

        • 165
          6EQUJ5 says:

          Milliards and Billiards eh, yeah that will work?

        • 170
          If everyone stands on their tip toes no one sees any better says:

          They tried something similar in the movie “Bruce Almighty” where everyone won the lottery. Prices soared with the resulting inflation and as a result no one was any better off.

          • 6EQUJ5 says:

            They tried it in Wiemar too and look how that turned out! Tongue in cheek from jgm2, he is a smart guy.

          • AC1 says:

            It’s “almost” like money represents the economy, rather than is the economy….

            Of course inflation robs savers and rewards feckless debt.

        • 283
          Rip van Wrinkle says:

          Well, at the moment, they’re printing up a batch at a time, asking banks to give them some dog turds and handing over billions?

          I’ve got the dog turds. Where’s the dosh, Mervyn??

  14. 19
    PinStripedChancer says:

    Let’s not forget that Mr O has considerable experience in wallpapering over the cracks.

  15. 25
    They don't like it up em says:

    Labour started panicking loudly when Osborne began reading out what the debt payments would’ve been under their plan.

    • 28
      Rat's arse says:

      Millitwit & Ballsy looking more like Pinky & Perky than ever – tossers!

      • 468
        Some Geezer wot loves cartoons says:

        Pinky and the Brain, more like:

        “What do you want to do tonight?”=Balls
        “Take over the world!”= Miliband
        “I saved the world!”= Some retarded Scotsman

        • 479
          Some Geezer wot loves cartoons says:

          Actually, the more I think about it, Miliband should be Pinky, though I’d hardly call Balls a Brain– maybe Pinky and Pinky?

    • 485
      Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

      Funny, but I don’t remember the BBC replaying that bit.

  16. 26
    dr. sipp says:

    looks like were in a BRIGADOON DEBT —-years & years

  17. 29
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Tractor man mark II.

  18. 33
    Dyanne Fatbutt says:

    All me want know is if da price of ryce and pee is gwan up. Bogle Bogle. Booyakasha!

  19. 34
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Gotta admit George has grown since before the election, much more confident.

  20. 35
    The Sleeper says:

    Blinky’s looking even more perplexed by the stats on the Economy than ever before.

    Is he thinking….”What’s fucking debt?”

  21. 36
    Another Engineer says:

    “Restraint on public sector pay”

    That’s going to go down well.

    Good.

    • 40
      Tax Payer says:

      It’s already been frozen for 2 years – you can’t get much more restrained than that?

      • 66
        Customer Accounts says:

        You could sack the un-needed ones. At present we are bleeding money paying for lots of crappy non-jobs.

      • 67
        Another taxpayer says:

        They could cut it back 50%, so they know what it’s like to work in the Labour-abused private sector.

      • 88
        jgm2 says:

        Oh yes you can. The Oi*ri*sh took a 20% or so cut in pay.

        Fair play to them.

        And the sooner this shower get it into their heads we can’t afford to pay them what they’ve become accustomed to the better as well.

      • 288
        Rip van Wrinkle says:

        You can cut 20% = either people of pay. The socialists in the public pay (yep, YOUR servants) have run out of every other person’s money. It’s time they coughed up a bit.

    • 309
      6EQUJ5 says:

      “Restraint on public sector pay” = “Restraint on private sector tax.

  22. 38
    Chucky Yomomma says:

    I can’t wait to go on all the TV news programmes today and impart my wisdom.

  23. 39
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  24. 42
    My Vote Never Counts says:

    Personally, I have taken a pay cut of 50% over the past year. I believe it’s called market forces.

    No magic money tree for me.

    • 54
      Brown sauce on everything says:

      doh! why don’t you just print some?

    • 65
      paperboy says:

      You’re in the wrong line, mister.

      • 87
        My Vote Never Counts says:

        But then, as long as you were and are living within your means – no great problem. In fact you pay less Tax ;-)

        • 97
          jgm2 says:

          Indeed. Less is more.

          The jgm2 household took a voluntary 90% reduction in income 18 months ago rather than pay 52% tax (amongst other reasons). Now we get tax refunds from our interest payments.

          We’re doing our bit to starve the beast.

          • My Vote Never Counts says:

            I’m waiting for my first ever tax refund in January! :-)

          • John Galt says:

            Carry on…

          • jgm2 says:

            Why wait till January?

            Just fill in your form online and it’ll come within four weeks (ours took a week).

          • Another taxpayer says:

            I didn’t know you could do that, jgm2! Cheers, the bastards owe me quite a bit and I was waiting for April ’12.

            I shall raise a pint to you, good Sir!

          • jgm2 says:

            Ahhhh. If you’re owed money from the present tax year (Apr 11 – Apr 12) then you may need to wait till April 2012 to submit your return (might be worth giving them a call if it’s a shed-load though) but if you’re owed from the last tax year ie to April 2011 then definitely get your claim in on-line.

          • Rip van Wrinkle says:

            You surprise me jgm2. Had you down as a realist. You trust your money with a BANK? For what? Peanuts?

            You’ll learn.

  25. 43
    Jimmy says:

    Anyone who elected this government deserves everything they get.

    • 45
      Another Engineer says:

      You mean they actually work for a living?

      • 247
        Jimmy says:

        No, I mean they deserve everything they get. Hence my use of the phrase “deserve everything they get”. Complicated stuff obviously.

        • 338
          Grumpy Old Man says:

          Labour lost. Get over it.

          • Jimmy says:

            Easier said than done. Your lot may have been bastards in the 80s but at least they were grown-ups. Losing to these clowns is humiliating.

          • smoggie says:

            But now you’ve got Miliband Jnr so everything’s hunky dory now.

            I suspect there’s a lesson you’re not learning here.

          • Jimmy says:

            As the saying goes, you may very well think that…

          • Up the Workers says:

            Jimmy, you are a laugh. I think you will find that it was the Labour bastards in the ’00s who allowed the rich to get even richer and the working classes (those who bothered to work, obviously) become even poorer in comparison. All under the auspices of your socialist heroes – Blair, Brown, Balls and Campbell.

    • 46
      Gordon Brown says:

      Quite right. I saved the world.

    • 122
      Tony Blair Millionaire says:

      The warmongering bastards!

    • 221
      smoggie says:

      That’s democracy Jim. Pisser innit?

      • 467
        FFS says:

        Despite never having voted for you nutters, we’re drowning in 13 years worth of your defecation on our once world class economy.

  26. 44
    Penfold says:

    The squeezed middle, being the milch cows of all regimes at Westminster will be squeezed again, in what is par for the course.

    We need a new political party to represent the middle and aspirational classes to fight for our rights, to keep a large wedge of our earnings. And indeed, slash and burn welfare payments and public sector expenditure.

    I see no reason for child benefits, you want kids? you pay.
    Why do we support single parents, you want sex, get a condom, get pregnant, support the bairn yourself or place for adoption.
    Want uni place? show the skill set and you can go, but you will pay.
    No uni place?, get a job or an apprenticeship. No job? your parents and family assume responsibility, not the state.

    That’ll do for starters.

    • 49
      The Sleeper says:

      I trust you have no kids of your own then?

      • 56
        Rat's arse says:

        You begat ‘em sleeper, you pay for ‘em. Why should we pay for other people’s kids?

        • 341
          Grumpy Old Man says:

          Because when you are old and decrepit, someone else’s children will be wiping your botty and paying for your keep through their taxes.

      • 58
        Another taxpayer says:

        I take it you *do* have kids?

        Good for you. But you pay for them.

        • 69
          The Sleeper says:

          I fucking have paid for them….smartarse.

          But self serving wankers that despise all things relating to people having kids need a red hot poker shoved up their arses.

          Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

          • Another taxpayer says:

            You paid for your own kids? Privately educated? No burden on the taxpayer? At all?

            Well done! If only others were like you.

          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            Please feel free to have as many children as you can afford. But do not expect anyone else to chip in and subidise your life choices.

          • The Sleeper says:

            What a fucking stupid post….are you suggesting ALL education should be private to ease the tax burden on those without children?

            So,in your view,nobody should have kids if there is any cost to society?

            Do you understand the concept of investment in the future?

          • Another taxpayer says:

            Do you not understand the country’s broke and overcrowded?

            You want kids, you pay for ‘em. Not me. Capiche?

          • The Sleeper says:

            Oh!…I get your point now.

            The Plan is to have this island bereft of population in about 100 years time…eh?

            Plonker.

          • Another taxpayer says:

            Better than your stunning plan to breed like a rabbit and fund it all with money stolen from me.

          • The Sleeper says:

            Get over it…one day you’ll grow up.

          • Another taxpayer says:

            One day, after you’ve left school, you’ll grow up and realise that socialists, such as you are now, are merely parasites.

          • The Sleeper says:

            Troll alert.

          • I eagerly await your money. says:

            Troll? Where?

            I want a troll of my own. Do you think I can claim for troll benefits?

          • AC1 says:

            The sleeper will only have sex if he’s paid.

            Forced taxpayer prostitution is what he’s arguing for.

          • Struck Off says:

            Child benefit was brought in after the war to repopulate the country. I think it’s now time to get rid.

      • 60
        Customer Accounts says:

        People who have unprotected sex have no right to take money from their neighbours to pay for the results.

      • 61
        stun says:

        I do. I don’t need the government to pay me to have children. Give me the relevant proportion of the tax back, and I’ll pay to have them educated too.

        • 101
          AC1 says:

          and everyone will be better off for it.

          State “education” doing to learning what the NHS does for the “health” of the country (100,000 unnecessary deaths)

      • 77
        I eagerly await your money. says:

        I want a pet elephant, but I can’t afford one. You don’t mind handing-over a percentage of your weekly wage to me, do you? So I can feed my elephant?

      • 107
        AC1 says:

        “Kidnapping” your own children should be a crime…

        “If you don’t pay the children get harmed!”

    • 53
      Rat's arse says:

      Well said Penfold.

    • 81
      Do fuck off says:

      And what about the mother whose husband walks out on her or divorces her and gives no financial support? Or the mother who has to escape domestic violence? Is it her fault for the marriage falling apart? Is she a sinner who deserves punishment by the imaginary sky daddy for failing to keep her husband happy? Should she shut her mouth and put up with being beaten senseless every day because she’s just a woman and women deserve what they get?

      • 86
        Moohamid Ramadanadingdong says:

        In a nutshell, yes.

      • 92
        Tax Payer says:

        With child benefit, tax credits, and the CSA, there is no need for her (you?) to be badly off.

        It was deliberately designed that way.

        • 100
          The Sleeper says:

          THE FUCKING CSA???????

          You clearly have no idea of the real World…Sir!

        • 178
          Do fuck off says:

          @Tax payer, either your eyesight is failing you or you’re hard of thinking. The whole point is that your pal is saying child benefit should be completely scrapped. So your comment is redundant.

      • 101
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Errr, never heard of the CSA then?

      • 114
        AC1 says:

        It’s certainly not the taxpayers fault, yet you are asking them to be forced to fork out to reward these failed relationships.

      • 140
        Wavy Davy says:

        I am sure with all the financial safeguards that New Labour implemented for single female parents it would not be a difficult task: legal aid, CSA payments, tax credits, nursery places, the institutionalised sexism of the Family Justice System together with Harriet Harman and her mangina’s army at Westminster!

      • 270
        CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

        If her husband beats her every night then she should trying playing a game she’s good at. Either that or go and hide in a non-muslim area.

      • 317
        Rip van Wrinkle says:

        Oh, so that’s my problem? She makes a shit choice in men and I have to pay for her and, when he’s locked up, I’ve got to pay for him, too? Oh, and the children go into care and I’ve got to pay for them as well?

        Right. That seems fair to me..

      • 481
        A. Prophet says:

        That gives me an idea for a religion…

    • 105
      Welfare Scrounger says:

      So you never claimed Child Benefit, ever?

  27. 51
    Steve Miliband says:

    Is Gordon in da hoose?

  28. 55
    In the Interest of Clarity says:

    No, no, no. The headline should read: “HOW are the Toe-rags going to ‘do for’ the middle classes?”

  29. 62
    Labour benches noisy again says:

    Labour don’t like the return of Right to Buy, a policy introduced by Thatcher.

  30. 63
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    Is Gordon Brown there?

  31. 73
    Fu Cough says:

    Oh no he is starting with his bloody dry cough again, went for 2 hours last time with it, can’t listen to him!!

  32. 78
    Brown sauce on everything says:

    chutney chutney yum yum

  33. 96
    Anonymous says:

    I reckon a bunch more socialist spending will occur. After all, they know what’s best to do with our money, not us.

  34. 98
    Raving Loon says:

    Abolish income NI completely and end income tax for the bottom 50% of earners. Paid for by ending foreign aid, our membership of the EU, and our costly and protracted foreign wars.

    • 146
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      End council tax too and replace it with a pay as you use tax.

    • 262
      AC1 says:

      End all taxes on Income, saving, investing, spending and employment.

      LVT instead.

      End failure rewards, pay out an equal citizens dividend.

  35. 103
    Anonymous says:

    nothing of course these elitist whores on the left and the right are selling all of us out.

  36. 111
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    FFS! It’s not “TORIES” is sodding coalition with some knock-kneed and strange Lib-dems.

    • 134
      Moussa Koussa says:

      PM – Tory
      Gidders – Tory

      • 152
        Goldfish says:

        Debt – Created by Labour
        Deficit – Left by Labour

      • 154
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        In name only.

      • 218
        You don't have to wait until 2015 says:

        Not really, Moussa.

        You want a fuckwitted socialist politically correct idiot as PM? You want a fuckwitted Chancellor who’ll borrow like a loon and tax us to the hilt and piss the money away on shit we don’t want or need? Well, I’ve got some good news for you, mate, because that’s precisely what we’ve got.

    • 268
      AC1 says:

      Ringfence off Gordon’s fiscal insanity and create a Special “Labour Debt” temporary tax.

      Paid off by everyone in the country, with a balance sent to everyone in the country.

  37. 118
    dr. sipp says:

    tax ETON

  38. 120
    Stat Tractor says:

    Blah blah blah drone…….

  39. 121
    If you live in or near Manchester, get tickets for a free advance screening of The Iron Lady says:

    http://www.seefilmdifferently.com/article/sfdd8a46ab9

  40. 126
    dr. sipp says:

    i can see deficit ROCKETING after statement today

    watch uk yields rise

  41. 127
    Moussa Koussa says:

    “””The squeezed middle”””

    LOL… Isn’t that a phrase coined by Ed. Can we have a link to the Guido thread from 6 months ago, lambasting Ed for using the very same phrase.

  42. 129
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    BLINKY SPEAKS!!!

  43. 131
    Another Engineer says:

    Here comes Ed. Take those blood pressure pills NOW.

  44. 132
    Tony Blair Millionaire says:

    Gordon left you all a golden legacy.

  45. 133
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Think not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.
    The me me me society needs to stop thinking “I am entitled to everything on the state “. Socialist benefit scrounging scum take note!

    • 161
      Wavy Davy says:

      Fair point, but a decent fucking pay rise in 4 years wouldn’t go amiss would it? Given that they’re attempt at saving money the CPI was at 5.2% in Sept 2011 and after two years of a pay freeze a 1% rise after next year. This lot in ‘power’ are a bunch of jokers.

      • 241
        fucky nell says:

        know your fucking place – little people like you going without means that the best in society get richer still.

        get used to it.

  46. 136
    BillyBob... says:

    Time for another war? We must have some nuclear warheads that need testing…. nuke Iran :)

  47. 138
    Blinky gets a touch of the Prezzas says:

    Ed Balls: “Plan A has flailed and it has flailed colossally”.

  48. 147
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Is this Plan C++, or is it ” I cant believe its not Plan A”

    • 158
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Watch your backside Moussa Koussa the libyans are after you.

    • 166
      Another taxpayer says:

      It’s “Let’s hope nobody notices that Dave spent 5 years as leader of the opposition, sitting in a chair with his thumb up his arse, making no plans whatsoever for what he’d do if he became PM.”

      • 244
        fucky nell says:

        Dave was born to rule – it’s his entitlement.

        It’s not something he needs to think about – it’s just the right thing to do.

    • 181
      Labour lost get over it! says:

      It’s all plan A moron, that being 80% cuts & 20% tax rises to pay of Labours golden legacy.

  49. 148
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    No-Ball!

  50. 149
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Balls is currently spewing out drivel in the house. He really is the most hypocritical thick tosser ever.

  51. 153
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Balls is a stupid thick tosser.

  52. 154
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Is it me or is Blinky’s voice getting a bit strident?

  53. 159
    nell says:

    +++Yawn+++

    bullyballs talking twaddle. too far too fast.

    No it isn’t you utter incompetent twit. It’s not far enough or fast enough!

  54. 160
    Ah! Monika says:

    Breaking:-

    Leveson agrees to appear on Strictly Come Dancing.

    So now we know he can’t dance either

  55. 162
    Ed Balls says:

    I have flailed and flailed, colossally.

  56. 163
    Bob says:

    My god Ed Bollokks cant speak.

  57. 164
    Ah! Monika says:

    Ah! Monika says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    November 29, 2011 at 1:25 pm
    Breaking:-

    Leveson agrees to appe @ar on Strictly Come Dancing.

    So now we know he can’t dance either

  58. 167
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Look at Miliband’s face, gurning champion.

  59. 171
    bird with small brain says:

    Lord Haw Haw is ranting again. I’ve turned him off.

  60. 172
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    … and how many times did McRuin ignore the advice of the IMF ?

  61. 173
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Balls thinks he’s live at the Apollo.

  62. 174
    Desperate Dan says:

    I’ve had to turn Balls sound off. Only someone with a hearing problem would feel they had to shout that loud.

  63. 175
    Helpful says:

    Clegg didn’t look very happy or supportive when “living within our means” was mentioned.

  64. 176
    Hey Man Just Chill like these Cats! says:

  65. 177
    Engineer says:

    Ed Balls complaining about increased borrowing.

    Oh, the irony….

  66. 180
    Engineer says:

    Ed Balls – “The last thing our economy needs is another fantasy growth package.”

    I’m on irony overload, now.

  67. 186
    Anonymous says:

    HAVE YOU SEEN THE CHICKENS YET?

    I HAVE.

  68. 188
    Another Engineer says:

    Has Ed actually put forward any coherent argument here or is he just waffling and putting in random catchphrases, Mr Speaker?

  69. 190
    grobdj says:

    No mention of empty property rates

    Hope all these new entrepreneurs realise that if they are forward-thinking and buy a factory like we did, they will pay full rates on the whole lot, whether or not they can fill it with the jobless!

  70. 192
    Another Engineer says:

    Has Ed actually put forward any coherent argument here or is he just waffling and putting in random catchphrases, Mr Spe’aker?

  71. 197
    Reminds me of Blakey from On the Buses says:

    What is it with Miliband constantly jutting out his jaw like a mong?

  72. 198
    Anonymous says:

    THOSE AT WORK +1%, THOSE ON BENEFITS +5.2%

    WHY WORK?

    GOOD NEWS FOR IMMIGRATION.

    • 208
      Wavy Davy says:

      I concur this is some sort of joke, 1% rise for earners 5% for scroungers, WTF is going on?!

      • 220
        Engineer says:

        If I interpret correctly (no guarantee of that…) the rise only applies to Jobseeker’s Allowance and Basic State Pension. Not to all the other assorted benefits.

        • 245
          I eagerly await your money. says:

          I hope my forthcoming elephant and helicopter benefits are going up by 5.2%

      • 277
        Welfare Scrounger says:

        5% of fuck-all is..well..fuck-all.

        • 286
          AC1 says:

          If only it was fuck all…

          Tax extorts over 50% of what my company actually pays me, or to put it another way, it causes 2 people to not be employed by me.

        • 351
          Grumpy Old Man says:

          It might be a small fuck-all for one man, but it’s a giant fuck-all for the tax-payer.

    • 216
      Ed Balls says:

      Excellent, finally your coming round to our way of thinking.

    • 224
      Steve Miliband says:

      Maybe last little sweetner before Welfare reforms kicks out the scroungers

    • 279
      6EQUJ5 says:

      Surely those that work in the public sector and those on benefits are one and the same?
      Neither pay tax.

      • 382
        AC1 says:

        Benefits are
        a) Less expensive than paying for non-jobs.
        b) the people may even get a real job.
        c) when they did work it was harming real jobs.

        Win.
        Win.
        Win.

  73. 201
    Blinky's full of shit says:

    Now it’s George Osborne’s time to shine with his rebuttal to Blinky! Go!

  74. 202
    I don't need no doctor says:

    It’s safe now Balls has finished speaking.

  75. 203
    Desperate Dan says:

    Ed Balls is trying to defend Labour’s economic incompetence.

  76. 205
    Blinky's full of shit says:

    Osborne’s doing a better job at smashing Labour than Cameron. Leader in waiting perhaps.

  77. 206
    Another Engineer says:

    Osborne cut out now by Radio 5. No response to Blinky allowed.

  78. 207
    Anonymous says:

    Those of you at work since the sixties/seventies to lose state pension rights so you can pay for those who pay nothing or those who only paid in for 30 years.

    What a laugh!

    Must have much more immigration.

    Well and truly fucked.

  79. 209
    Mrs Crewe says:

    What a nasty lying little shit weepy Balls is

  80. 211
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Balls face is bright red. He’s going to explode.

  81. 212
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Miliband and Balls gurning in unison.

  82. 215
    Widescreen2010 says:

    Think not what You can do for your Taxpayer.
    Think what your Taxpayer can do for You…
    F u c k e r s

  83. 222
    Blinky red with fury says:

    Osborne succeeded in angering Blinky and he landed several strong blows against him. I think Boy George would be a better PM than Cameron.

    • 245
      Observer says:

      I thought the rabid fucker was going to have a stroke. H e needs to see a dr about his skin or this what happens when your bloods boils. Nice one George

    • 321
      Moussa Koussa says:

      LOL….holy feck….you have lost you marbles completely now… Gidders PM….Holy Jesus

    • 499
      It Couldn't Hurt... says:

      Bloody “Boy George” O’Dowd would be a better Prime Minister than Cameron.

  84. 225
    Fuck 'em says:

    Public sector job loses to rise from 400k to 700k by 2016, Mhahahahahahahahahahha!

  85. 230
    nell says:

    Well bullyballs well and truly exposed as a fool.

    Anybody imagine what he’d be like as a chancellor?

  86. 239
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
    • 258
      jgm2 says:

      RESULT!!!!

      • 261
        jgm2 says:

        Brown’s ‘Magic Million’ almost entirely expunged from the public teat.

        YEE and indeed HAAA!!!

        • 264
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          there goes my dream of becoming a diversty officer……

        • 284
          Another taxpayer says:

          It’s a shame he didn’t do it 18 months ago, really.

          Still, better late than never. So long as they really are sacked, not “sacked and then re-hired” as ‘consultants’.

          • jgm2 says:

            Indeed. He should have hit the ground running. Jobs slashed, the BBC eviscerated. All these things he had years to think about and get lined up. Why wait 18 months?

            It’s a mystery.

          • Another taxpayer says:

            One can only assume they underestimated the scale of the problem. Which is a bit worrying, because it was rather “in your face”.

          • Tax Payer says:

            I agree that there are a lot of non-jobs, but:

            What about the cost of redundancy payments? And, in some cases, early retirement?

            And what if most of them move onto benefits? What’s the cost, and point, of that?

            And without a salary, they won’t pay tax, or be able to afford to buy things – you know, stimulating the economy?

          • jgm2 says:

            What about the cost of redundancy payments?

            Much cheaper to pay them a one-off (say) three months redundancy payments than pay them in perpetuity to do fuck all. It’s called cutting your losses.

          • jgm2 says:

            @taxpayer

            And what if most of them move onto benefits? What’s the cost, and point, of that?

            Still much cheaper than paying them (say) 30K a year including tax credits, the cost of heating their office, the cost of diversity workshops in country hotels, the cost of their ‘status’ car, the cost of providing a parking place, the cost of providing their office in the first place. Then there are the gains.

            The increased productivity because these bedwetters, box-tickers and bastards aren’t desperately trying to look busy and generating screeds of tick-sheets and ‘workshops’ and ‘meetings’ for workers to attend.

            A real win-win.

          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            Or farmed off into compulsory advisory agencies.

          • AC1 says:

            Losing a job with negative productivity (box ticker) is a plus.

            No longer having to fund that job by punishing positive productivity is a double plus.

    • 263
      So much for Plan B says:

      80% Cuts & 20% Tax rises :)

    • 274
      The Market says:

      Plan A+ looks truly beautiful Ozzy, keep your low interest rates.

    • 280
    • 282
      WVM says:

      Where’s Moussa Koussa when you need him most?

    • 291
      Oh Happy Days! says:

  87. 239
    Ex-Conservative voter says:

    O/T: The British embassy in Tehran’s been looted and firebombed. Dave’s going to respond by looking very serious and probably saying something disapproving in his special ‘stern’ voice.

  88. 265
  89. 266
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Easy ! The answer to your question is FUCKALL !

  90. 272
    grobdj says:

    Bankers bonus payroll tax quietly dropped, raised £3.5bn this year, puts the Autumn Statement help for small businesses into perspective

    (1% off interest rate for £40bn of Small business lending = £0.4bn, subject to the banks resisting the temptation to add 1% to rates before offering under the scheme. I note the example of 1% off a 5% interest rate given in the Sunday Papers became 1% off a 7% interest rate in today’s speech)

    • 377
      AC1 says:

      Debt is the killer of small business. No competent government should encourage debt for these types of firms.

  91. 273
    Desperate Dan says:

    Ballsy says growth of 0.7% is flatlining and a squeeze of 0.03% is a double dip recession. He’s as bad at figures as Peston and Flanders. All three of them exaggerate everything beyond common sense just to make their points.

    • 323
      The UK is not just b*gg*red it's also in the sh*t too says:

      Although in fairness Danny Alexander has just told Brillo on BBC Autumn Statement programme that the 0.7% growth figure etc projected by OBR is AFTER all the infrastructure initiatives announced by Osbourne have been factored into the growth figures although he said that one can’t factor in all the supply side effects(?)

  92. 276
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘… the tax paying voters who elected this government.’

    But this government wasn’t elected, remember. It’s a coalition, a fixed-up racket after the election, just the kind of thing we opposed when we voted against the alternative vote.

  93. 278
    Mrs Crewe says:

    Almost all economic experts tell us we have to keep the austerity measures in place or the only place the IMF will allow the British Govt to borrow will be wonga.com and yet all the Labour sheep keep bleating about is borrowing more money and spend spend spend. Obviously everyone gets a free lobotomy with thier Labour party card

    • 290
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Are you sure? I believe there are no brains to remove in the first place.

      • 298
        Mrs Crewe says:

        That is a very good point and also explains why anyone would join/vote Labour in the first place.

        • 301
          Moohamid Ramadanadingdong says:

          I’m toying with the idea of voting Labour, but then I do quite hate Britain and the British public.

      • 357
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        As I said earlier. “Left-wing intellectual”, is the ultimate oxymoron. The re-invention of RedEd as a thinker proves the point.

    • 322
      Desperate Dan says:

      Not just Labour. The LibDems also like borrowing money and splashing it about on the undeserving. If it wasn’t for the LibDems wanting to be liked we’d have paid off all our debts by now.

    • 374
      AC1 says:

      IMHO The best option is that we default…

  94. 292
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    unless Order-order can fulfil my dream and need a diversity officer?

  95. 296
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
    A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
    The man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:
    “I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?”
    “My wife’s.” The man with the dog replied
    ”What happened to her?”
    “She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”
    He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”
    The man answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.”
    A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.
    Finally, the first man asked “Can I borrow the dog?”

    The man replied, “Get in line.”

    • 360
      Some Geezer wot knows a million corny jokes says:

      “How did your first wife die?”
      “She et poison mushrooms.”
      “How did your second wife die?”
      “She et poison mushrooms.”
      “How did your third wife die?”
      “Drowned in the bath tub.”
      “Drowned in the bath tub?”
      “Yeah– she never liked mushrooms.”

      • 505
        aleksandr says:

        2 blokes in bar in glasgow

        Bloke 1 says ‘hows yer wife.
        Bloke 2 says ‘she’s died’
        bloke 1 says ‘oh i sorry. wheres she buried’
        bloke 2 says in the yard at the tenement’
        bloke 1 says ‘you’re daft, I’m not drinking with you no more’
        bloke 2 says, ‘honest, come and see.’

        so they traipse back to bloke 2s tenement and into the yard. There is some freshly dug earth with a womans arse sticking up in the air.

        Bloke 1 says, ‘why did you bury her like that?’
        Bloke 2 says ‘I wanted somewhere to keep me bicycle’

        Thanks to Billy Connoly for that one

  96. 307
    A message from Rob Andrew says:

    Hello, I’m Rob Andrew, and my hands are squeaky clean and blemish free – thanks to Brazen, makes things seem whiter white and brighter bright. Thanks, Brazen!

  97. 316
    I want to sodomise Priti Patel says:

    Levenson is going to arse rape Guido.

    LOL

  98. 328
    jake says:

    George sounds like that bloke who Alan BASTAAAARD used to bully

  99. 334
    saffron says:

    Just watched that sky woman burley asking stupid questions,what a tosser.

    • 348
      Mrs Crewe says:

      She always has been I can only surmises she gives good head no other earthly reason of employing her. I don’t know why they spent so much money on CERN you could test black holes just by looking in her ears

  100. 335
    Anonymous says:

    here chick chick chick……….. here’s home.

  101. 336
    jgm2 says:

    Let us all pause to savour the full tongue-swallowing apoplexy that will be devouring the bedwetters over at the Grauniad.

    Mmmmmm. Smells like…. victory.

  102. 355
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    who is the MP for Portsmouth?

  103. 362
    A Liberal Twunt says:
    • 368
      Anonymous says:

      Ain’t that what coalition government is all about? It’s the Conservative’s own stupid fault for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory at the GE.

    • 371
      No sympathy says:

      Ain’t that what coalition government is all about? The Conservatives have only themselves to blame for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory at the GE.

      • 373
        Anonymous says:

        Are you stalking me?

      • 381
        jgm2 says:

        If it’s true that the LibDems are hampering the necessary changes needed to try and fix Labour’s economic clusterfuck then Cameron should call an election. There’s no point stumbling around for another 3 1/2 years unable to get this mess cleaned up.

        Just let Ned Balls do his worst and then the EU can appoint some technocrat to sort us out as well.

      • 486
        The opposition next to me says:

        The Tories managed, via the coalition, to get a built-in on-our-side opposition all of their own. Clever!

    • 453
      The Golem says:

      No surprise TM, we should be grateful George wasn’t forced to recite his script in German.

  104. 364
    tube_thumper says:

    fuck me now we have guido telling us what he would like to see.

    The ego is obviouysly now more inflated than that fat face.

    Irananians have taken hostages from the British Embassy in Tehran. Off to war again … sorted

    • 383
      Can we have our i-pod back please sir says:

      On-going and developing…embassy reported on fire with looters stealing property and defacing picture of HMQ and hauling down Union Jack and burning it whilst hoisting Iranin Flag over compound…no reports of staff situation FCO seeking clarifiaction urgently. Unconfirmed reports that 6 embassy staff taken hostage by students from Tehran University

      FCO in London calls Iranian Charge d’affaire to FCO and urges that Iranian Security Personnel protect British personnel etc as required under international law.

      Could be Wee Willy is back in the House this evening to make urgent statement methinks

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iran/8922993/British-embassy-attack-in-Iran-live.html

      • 425
        Ex-Conservative voter says:

        Don’t worry, “Dave” promised us (as he scrapped our military capability) that we wouldn’t face any wars within the next 10 years.

        And if you ignore Libya, and the war we’re about to have with Iran (and which we will surely lose), he’s dead right.

        • 436
          jgm2 says:

          Naah. I can’t see us getting involved in a war with Iran. After the clusterfuck that was Iraq surely we’ve learned our lesson.

          Although the ‘success’ of Libya may have gone to Dave’s head.

          • Well that's another sparkling success for British Diplomacy then says:

            I understand that the MoD has ordered a new batch of i-pods/tissues for general issue in the event that we have to send in the Royal Navy.

            On serious note 6 hostages freed unarmed by Iranian Security Forces after condemnation of attack by Russia

          • jgm2 says:

            ‘Unarmed’?

            What was it? A quick conviction for theft and summary amputation by the Iranian students?

            I’m appalled.

  105. 369
    End of Piers Show says:

    According to The Graun, ex-NOTW hack Paul McMullan has just told Leveson his editors knew phones were being hacked.

    I believe one of his editors was one Mr P Morgan…

  106. 372
    Cressida Dick-Balls says:

    Bob Crow just been on Sky News. Being interviewed by the vacuous airhead Burley. Made for each other.

    • 438
      A Bloke of A Certain Age says:

      When reporting on the Chancellors statement Burleys whole tone is dripping with sarcasm , just listen to her.

  107. 385

    Mary Hockaday
    The BBC

    We are so excited! Its clappy hands all round. This is better than a globalisation summit. Its almost as super as the para olympics!! I’ve been almost wetting myself all week in anticipation.

    Everyone ready for the big day tomorrow? Hopefully it will go all Greek and they’ll be loads of tear gas and burnings and window smashing.
    National ‘stick it the government day’ begins at 7am and we’ll be covering it , in our usual unbiased way. Join Fiona Bruce and Alan Sugar to see how this government wants to make all care workers slaves.

    Then, later on, Eddie Izzard, Tony Robinson and Adam Woodyatt will be giving up to the minute economic analysis of how public sector workers could be given a 30% pay rise and a final salary+50% pension, if only the coalition weren’t so friendly to banks and investors and other horrid institutions..

    {sorry about Ian Beale..we signed that contract with him 25 years ago..he’s still got 5 years left to run. Honestly..we thought he’d get better.. he just never has..We’ve got to give him something to do and even BBC3 won’t touch him.}

    • 393
      Mrs Crewe says:

      If it wasn’t for celebrities I wouldn’t know what to think thank god they are all experts in finance and politics and have so many qualifications.

    • 399
      That's all very well but who's gonna empty my bloody rubbish bin then ?? says:

      Spot on as usual Mr Quango…. I expect that the BBC has mobilised its regional news teams all over the country to report on tomorrow’s ” popular uprising” of the down-trodden masses and their protests against this fascist led government……..

    • 407
      Robert Peston's peyote supplier says:

      Well said that man. It would be funny if it wasn’t so painfully true. There must be a role for Nick Knowles somewhere in this brain-dead fapathon, surely?

  108. 391
    Anonymous says:

    Yvette Cooper is on BBC News 24,

  109. 396
    I don't need no doctor says:

    BBC News 24 has Yvette Cooper blatantly lying. Shit on top of shit, first Balls then Cooper.

  110. 398
    Fucking Hilarious says:

    So, the recovery fucked by the ConDems, an economic depression looming, the German Reich swallowing all Europe, and the priority for the British government is?

    Helping little Michaela wreck the education system to turn it into a profit centre for the evil Murdoch empire, best known for exploiting 13 year old children.

    Thank god we have regime change soon so all these liblabcon shits can be arrested and killed.

    Ha ha ha

    • 402
      Loungelizard says:

      Hope the taxpayer isn’t paying you to post this crap.

      • 414
        Another taxpayer says:

        Possibly one of the 710,000 non-jobs Osborne’s about to scrap.

        It’s easy to see why the terrified Left are having a little tantrum.

    • 405
      jgm2 says:

      So, the recovery fucked by the ConDems

      Err – this ‘recovery’ it didn’t involve borrowing 300bn quid and printing 200bn quid (with a further commitment to borrow another 500bn quid over five years) to generate 0.1% ‘growth’ did it?

      ‘Cos, to be honest, that’s really not my idea of a ‘recovery’ at all.

      • 433
        A Bloke of A Certain Age says:

        Thats like pumping pints of blood into a corpse and calling it a recovery.

        • 440
          jgm2 says:

          Or putting those electric paddles on a corpses chest and declaring it a ‘recovery’ when the cadaver arches its back.

          • Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

            I would ask you to try that on my Reg, dear but I fear he’d just shatter into several pieces.

    • 409
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Fucking Hilarious, I have a question. Are you Gordon Brown’s potty?

    • 410
      The Labour Party says:

      Labour are at war with Murdoch. Labour have always been at war with Murdoch.

      • 427
        Mrs Crewe says:

        Funny how they didn’t mind him whilst he was supporting them.

        • 437
          Another taxpayer says:

          Yep. For 15 years, Blair, Brown, Campbell, Balls, the lot of them, licked Murdoch’s arse day in, day out. Their tongues working away feverishly, right up Murdoch’s crack. Licking every inch of it.

          But when Murdoch’s readership turned against Labour, Murdoch had to, too, and Labour’s greedy arse-licking came to a halt.

      • 443
        Loungelizard says:

        Another case of history being re written. This Murdoch thing isn’t a right left battle, if anyone’s got shit on their hands it’s the Labour party. Don’t think Ed M wouldn’t bend over the minute the Digger smiled in his direction.

    • 421
      Another taxpayer says:

      “the German Reich swallowing all Europe”

      And what would Prime Minister Milimong be doing about this then? Eh?

      Anything? Any clues, scribbled hastily on his blank sheet of paper?

      No?

      • 424
        I don't need no doctor says:

        Could you imagine Ed Miliband as PM, it’s the ultimate nightmare scenario.

        • 429
          Another taxpayer says:

          You think it’s the nightmare scenario, but there’s a worse one: PM Ed Milimong, Chancellor Ballsup and Business Secretary Chuckup. The Terrible Trio.

          Ed Milimong, the leader Labour didn’t want (they wanted Dave).
          Ballsup, the Chancellor Milimong didn’t want (he chose Johnson).
          Chuckup, the Business Secretary that nobody wants. Least of all Labour and British businesses.

        • 430
          jgm2 says:

          No. We’ve already lived through the ultimate nightmare. We got rid of him in 2010.

          Thank fuck.

  111. 416
    Harry Minge says:

    I want to squeeze Balls. But not in the middle. A 30-ton press should do it.

  112. 428
    Gordon Brown says:

    Michaela Strachan’s monkey made me do it

  113. 431
    Reality says:

    Obviously it was a speech with a libdem gun to GO’s head.
    They’re bluffing. If coalition breaks then libdems are royally forever fucked.

    • 445
      Mrs Crewe says:

      Only way that bunch of fence sitters and weirdos would get into Govt in the first place. They are a joke purely there for light relief

  114. 432
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Whens Neo back from Russia?

  115. 447
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  116. 449
    A Bloke of A Certain Age says:

    Yvette Cooper now on sky news, time to change channels, I would rather watch “camp z list celebrity coach trip get me out of here” on living tv 3

  117. 463
    NEET says:

    All going to plan. The tories are blaming eurocrisis when we all know the problem. In 10 years of economic growth we did not put away one bean but instead added 400bn to borrowing. So now we can’t fund a stimulus – only print money. You know we couldn’t tax the rich because Tony said so. But we can make their wealth worthless by turning on the printing presses.
    (ps do you like my new name? I can’t visit the commons anymore and I didn’t get my IMF job so I sit with the boys drinking buckie)

  118. 465
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  119. 470
    pimps and politicians says:

    I’m going to smack all your botty’s for being productive members of the community and for having the sheer gall to want to look after yourselves independent of government.

  120. 471
    nell says:

    Actually watching balls, cooper and militwit today trying to discredit osbourne was amusing. Their problem is they don’t have a credible strategy to counter him and predominantly the electorate stil remember the mess they’ve made of the economy.

    • 496
      Really? says:

      Sadly, not predominantly enough for a clear Conservative win. Maybe Gove’s de-idiotising of education will have made enough of a change by the time of the next election.

  121. 472
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  122. 477
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    I just love how these morons keep saying “Oh come on, you can’t keep blaming Labour!”…..what is the logic here, I mean, is there a timeframe after which the bankruptcy of this nation, directly as a consequence of Labour’s ineptitude & incompetence, suddenly becomes someone else’s fault?!!?

    You miserable fuckwits, you bankrupted the country and left us with an enormous diarrhea stain! It’ll take at least another 3 or 4 years to clean it up, and you think that after just ONE year you can stand there and make comments about whether the plan is working or not?? Balls, you evil conniving prat, you really have the gall to stand there and claim that the tories have failed???

    Oh my god, all the veins in my forehead are popping, I think I’m gonna have a stroke because of the rage and fury feel over these lying thieving Labour wankers!

  123. 497
    rachel reeves says:

    fuck, she’s a bit fick, int she

  124. 500
    Politicians are CUNTS says:

    These MPs are bastards – probably all designing their own coats of arms as we speak (at our expense of course)

  125. 502
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone else noticed how Francis Maude’s face resembles a cat’s arse?

  126. 503
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Guido’s “Quote of the day”
    Ed Miliband says: “I don’t support strikes because they are always a sign of failure”
    Same reason i don’t support Labour !

  127. 507

    THE definitive article on why it is Socialism’s flawed economic model, not ‘the bankers’ to blame for the mess we’re in, and why the Public Sector simply makes it worse..
    http://www.dpruk.blogspot.com/2011/08/why-centre-left-economic-policy-is.html


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A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”



Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.


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