November 28th, 2011

So What Do We Think?

“The Speaker’s coat of arms has been developed by the College of Arms. The design includes: a ladder, representing Mr Speaker’s family’s humble beginnings; four roundels representing Mr Speaker’s interest in tennis and Mr Speaker’s ex officio role as the Chairman of the Boundary Commissions of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland; scimitars or seaxes as used on the coat of arms of the county of Essex where Mr Speaker went to university. The motto, “all are equal”, is separated by pink triangles representing the Speaker’s championing of LGBT rights, and rainbow colours on the scroll represent the flag of equality.”

Glad they cleared up what the ladder was all about…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Waste of money.


    • 16
      Waddingtons says:

      He may have rolled a Six and climbed the status ladder for the last 2 moves, but a bad roll Jonny boy, and you land on a Snake, and down you’ll go quicker than you imagine.

      • 88
        English Taxpayer says:

        Odious little runt!

        I’m not sure if he needs the ladder to reach his wife’s fanny, or if he straps the bloody thing to his back to stop himself falling in!

        • 124
          thedukeofhunslet says:

          Those little balls? Those are Sally’s vibrating love eggs. They’re so huge they each take up one whole drawer in the bedroom chest of 6 drawers – presumably the other 2 drawers are for The Speakers massive ego…?

          • Ivor Biggun says:

            This is surely a Rich & Mark parody of Mr. Squeaker!

            The only thing that convinces me otherwise is that Rich & Mark aren’t (usually so) funny, even on a good day.

            Must’ve been lifted frm Private Eye then…

            I just hope the jumped up little social(ist) climber had the decency to pay for this rubbish himself, rather than fucking over us poor taxpayers as much as his wife has apparently done, at least for male taxpayers, but then again, with a girl like Sal, ooh, mind bleach now please ;)

          • Heretic says:

            Aha so you noticed the ‘beef sandwich’ of the wife ?,
            (labia flaps) on the peripheries.

          • Rog says:

            “All are equal”?

            Until someone needs to get something from the top of the cupboard perhaps.

        • 201
          Get down Shep says:

          Is this the winner of the under-6′s Blue Peter Christmas competition this year?

        • 277
          Bett Slapper says:

          No. The ladder represents his wife’s social climbing.

          • lafcadio says:

            Johnny Bercow is taking the mick,
            His coat of arms will make passers-by sick,
            To make matters worse,
            It’s the taxpayers’ purse,
            That will pay for this tat – what a dick!

      • 102
        Col. Brown, in the billiard balls, with the boot says:

        Which part of this device represents a small, shouty fellow that blows a fuse whenever he sticks his finger into the bigger boys’ sockets?

        • 127
          reluctant electrician says:

          The bit that says “John Bercow”, I guess.

          • Heretic says:

            The piece (middle top) is either a midget screaming for help or
            it’s a depiction of Ms Bercovs YOUNGER fanny !.

        • 138
          Cell time says:

          Imagine how much ‘expert’ time has been spent on ensuring it is not too easy to alter the crappy wooden carving round the edge, using photo-shop type stuff to reveal a turgid helmet.

          Remember the slight fold of the old tenner that revealed the Brenda ucking the helmet of the cock coilled around her neck.

          Or the close inspection of the 2 euro coin, without Norway, revealling the map of Sweden to be a flacid Glans.

          • argh! says:

            And 37k for a portrait of the self important little pig.

            hope someone has the good sense to throw a tin of hammerite all over it. And him.

      • 153
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        A better motto would be,”alii magis allis aequales”, loosely translated as, “some are more equal than others”.

    • 28
      MI6 says:

      Not exactly focusing on how much these Sh-t houses have rammed the country. Some one is going to have to take control and cut the TAX, If they dont do it now they will have to do it eventually, Sorry Gravey Train coming to END

    • 29
      LGBT, badge of dishonour says:

      You should have pink triangles tattooed on your bum Billy, one on each cheek.

      • 233
        Pork Sword calling Billy Boy says:

        Billy got his initials tatooed on his bum, one one each cheek.
        When he showed me, I said “Who’s Bob?”

    • 46
      Breton says:

      Shock Turner Prize winner

    • 47
      BillyBob... says:

      A ladder ‘cos he is a short arse…… :)

      • 123
        HappyUK says:

        Darn, you beat me to it.

        • 261
          The Observer. says:

          The ladder is for his and his wife’s aspirations and the roundels for the you know what she did to get that far up the ladder.
          The 2 scimitars are one each for chopping their heads off later, and the stupid motto signifies what she got out of him so that if anything goes wrong she gets half.
          As for the pink triangles I suppose they could later prove to be crossgenders.
          All in all it shows a man with no class at all, and I can only assume that whoever dreamt it up was having a bad hair day.

      • 298
        Heretic says:

        A ladder ‘coz’ he so wants to ‘be there’ not here !.
        This snob wannabe is ticking the boxes,10yrs from now
        the lickspitle will be forgotten,BUT A LORD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
        (some things never change, yawn)

    • 78
    • 125
      Engineer says:

      The carving looks to have been dashed off in a bit of a hurry. Some of the detail isn’t that crisp. Clearly the carver was saving his best work for something of more merit.

      I think it’s a piece of oak.

      Dunno what that garbage in the middle is, though. Turner Prize entry, perhaps?

    • 136
      Jabba the Cat says:

      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      Bercow is a treasonous C U N T
      ad infinitum…

    • 140
      Russell says:

      How dare the little shit claim he comes from a family of window cleaners, they are used to hard work.

    • 254
      Rebel Saint says:

      Having a quote from Animal Farm as his motto seems entirely appropriate.

    • 279
      Squealer says:

      All Animals Are Equal…But Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others!

  2. 2
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    What a load of politically correct bollocks. It looks like ludo or snakes and ladders.

    • 19
      Anonymous says:

      Well now, look, let us try and start with a few figures as far as we know them, and I am the first to admit it is not easy to get clear figures from the Home Office about immigration, but there was a committee which looked at it and said that if we went on as we are then by the end of the century there would be four million people of the new Commonwealth or Pakistan here. Now, that is an awful lot and I think it means that people are really rather afraid that this country might be rather swamped by people with a different culture and, you know, the British character has done so much for democracy, for law and done so much throughout the world that if there is any fear that it might be swamped people are going to react and be rather hostile to those coming in.[fo 2]
      So, if you want good race relations, you have got to allay peoples’ fears on numbers. Now, the key to this was not what Keith Speed said just a couple of weeks ago. It really was what Willie Whitelaw said at the Conservative Party Conference in Brighton, where he said we must hold out the clear prospect of an end to immigration because at the moment it is about between 45,000 and 50,000 people coming in a year. Now, I was brought up in a small town, 25,000. That would be two new towns a year and that is quite a lot. So, we do have to hold out the prospect of an end to immigration except, of course, for compassionate cases. Therefore, we have got to look at the numbers who have a right to come in. There are a number of United Kingdom passport holders—for example, in East Africa—and what Keith and his committee are trying to do is to find out exactly how we are going to do it; who must come in; how you deal with the compassionate cases, but nevertheless, holding out the prospect of an end to immigration.[fo 3]

      • 36
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Why do you fear immigration?

        • 52
          Anonymous says:

          Above was from your heroin Mrs Thatcher.

        • 54
          Britain is full. says:

          There are no jobs. Wages are depressed. Housing is in short supply. Standing room only on public transport. The pensions bill. The benefits bill. Afghan families in mansions in London, at taxpayers’ expense. Hospitals creaking under demand. All infrastructure buckling. 1 in 7 prisoners are foreign. 1 in 10 muzzies think alky aida are great.

          You want more reason to hate (not fear) immigration?

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            so your policy is eugenics?

            If british buisness prefers hiring immingrants over british workers should we ask why?

            I will answer it, because immigrants turn up for work and do the job they are paid to do it, ask a small buisness person.

            We have transferred resposneabliy from the person to the state.

            thier are jobs out there.

          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            You’re on thin ice here, Billy me old mucker. Considering how much time you spend pressing F5 and all.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            @Sir Aston

            I have a job thanks.

            If skating on thin ice means saying what you really think then i plead guilty.

          • Britain is full. says:

            “If british buisness prefers hiring immingrants over british workers should we ask why?”

            Because they’re cheap, you stupid cunt. They live in cheap housing, undercut British workers, then send their money back home where it’s worth a fortune.

          • Anonymous says:

            Billy you give a good reason why this has happened, one of the reasons being a stitch up between government and big business to suppress wages, but enough is enough FFS. The demographics are looking decidedly hazardous. You’d be the first up against the fucking wall if the muzzie population carries on growing as it is, so good luck with that.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            ‘Briton is full

            So you want to regulate how people spend thier money?

          • Britain is full. says:

            Don’t change the fucking argument, Billy.

            Immigrants are driving down wages, reducing job security and increasing the cost of (diminishing) housing stock.

            What’s to like about that? Unless your a slum landlord.

          • smoggie says:

            Because they will do the jobs that the fat, idle, benefit scrounging stupid Brit refuses to do. Get rid of benefits – that’s the problem, not immigrants.

          • old queens counsel says:

            Let’s get to the nitty gritty here. More black bums for Billy, I rest my case.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


            Cheers, thats what i was trying to say.

          • Britain is full. says:

            “Get rid of benefits – that’s the problem, not immigrants.”

            Get rid of the benefits and you get rid of many of the immigrant filth who arrived here in the last 14 years.

          • Anonymous says:

            So it was the lazy, fucking bastard, benefit bunnies who relaxed the rules to let the the evil immigrants in?

          • t says:

            Bif, you deluded fuck wit, the national Wage ensures no one can be undercut, try the real World, you might enjoy it, even if it is a bumpier ride, much more enjoyable, and you get off at a better station at the end!

          • Britain is full. says:

            “Bif, you deluded fuck wit, the national Wage ensures no one can be undercut,”

            You fucking stupid mong, you’ve never heard of the black economy? Go into the kitchen in any restaurant near you and take a look around. You think those tossers who can’t speak English are paying PAYE?

            And ten years ago van drivers earned £13 per hour (at 2001 prices), now they make minimum wage. Why’s that? Because every van driver’s fucking Polish. You don’t accept your pay cut? Tough. Here’s an immigrant who’ll do your job for less.

            Now fuck off you stupid fucking cunt.

          • t says:

            Bif, I agree, Britain is full, but your arguments are not going to recruit any more followers. If it was early 70′s, after the last labour government, people who needed work would have pulled their finger out and undercut all challengers

        • 59
          Anonymous says:

          Billy, do you know who made this statement?

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Lady Thatcher.

            Find me a PM that you agree with 100% or even disagree with 100% ?

          • Anonymous says:

            Does this means, some time you agree with Blair and Brown as well? Let us know which once you agree with.

            You call Blair war criminal, do you know what happened to ARA General Belgrano?

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Never called Blair a war crim as it was voted on by a democratily elected parliament.

            Yes, I thought the 10p tax rate was a fantastic policy.

          • Britain is full. says:

            “Never called Blair a war crim as it was voted on by a democratily elected parliament.”

            That’s Hitler off the hook then.

          • Anonymous says:

            Billy, what about Blair and Brown’s immigration policy?

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            @Briton is full

            Hitler got his arse kicked.


            They mislead parliament, but i didnt lose my job or was replaced by a polish person or african immingrant.

          • Britain is full. says:

            “Hitler got his arse kicked.”

            Yep. But he wasn’t a war criminal, by your logic, because he got into power democratically.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            my point was i never called blair a war crim .

          • Billy's asian boss says:

            That’s because you give good head Billy, tbh.

  3. 3
    Barry says:

    Antiques road show material in 2150?

  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  5. 5
    Professor Henry Brubaker, Institute for Studies says:

    Is someone taking this piss or is this an actual real thing?

  6. 6
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Why not include the Roma, Zoroastrians and followers of the Jedi Church whilst you’re about it John?

    • 73
      John Bercow says:

      Thanks, I’ll get right on it.

      • 267
        A further suggestion says:

        And while you are at it, get the name changed to what it says on your birth certificate and not what you now call yourself. No need for false modesty, you know!

    • 287
      Anonymous says:

      How about a caravan and Mercedes 4×4 on a sable (to represent tarmac) field in the top right corner? Mustn’t forget the “Non-Travelling Community”, so long as they create their mess miles away from the trendies.

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Doesn’t really convey ‘Short arsed wanker’.

  8. 8
    Bogeyman says:

    No reference to Mrs Speaker. How about a pair of dildos instead of the scimitars?

  9. 9
    Malcolm Cupis says:

    Surely it is incomplete without a sex toy, a bedsheet and an expenses claim form?

  10. 10
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    He thinks he is such a goody two shoes doesn’t he.

    In actual fact he’s just another one of those PC Tossers!

  11. 12
    The Old Codger says:

    What a complete load of rubbish! Who paid for that crap.

  12. 13
    Kernow Castellan says:

    It’s quite clear to me. The ladder shows how he has descended as he has moved from Blue (Tory) to Red (Labour), whilst taking the taxpayers gold coin as he goes down.

    Shame they couldn’t put in a Hippo Rampant to honour the lovely Sally.

    • 72
      Ex-Conservative voter says:

      “The ladder shows how he has descended as he has moved from Blue (Tory) to Red (Labour)”

      To be fair, the whole of Dave’s Conservative Party has done exactly the same thing.

    • 288
      Anonymous says:

      Instead of being party per pale, or divided vertically, the tinctures Azure (blue) and Gules (red) on the shield should have been diagonal stripes going from bottom left to top right on the shield, or bendy sinister as the Heralds say.

  13. 14
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Is that a ladder in your coat or are you just pleased to see me, John?

  14. 15
    Stunted Cunt says:

    Hey! Don’t mock me . . . !

  15. 17
    Gordon Clown MP says:

    And what represents Mrs Bercow’s vibrators?

    • 183
      MB. says:

      I have been surprised there have been no reports of people making buzzing sounds as he or his wife walk past them.

  16. 18
    Tuscan Tony says:

    I have looked long and hard at this and can see no sign of anything resembling a vibro. Sally will feel excluded.

  17. 21
    Sophie says:

    How much tax payers money went on this vanity to the dwarf like small time opportunist?

    They just dont get it.

    The trinkets of high office are more important to them than doing their duty as public servants – instead they act like feudal overlords with a vapid & expanding sense of entitlement to our money.

    I despise every Tory voter in his constituency. They could have dealt a blow to left wing Toryism – they could have given the nation what it wants – a true Tory in the house.

    We need an feffing bloody revolution.

    • 87
      Ex-Conservative voter says:


      This shield thing reminds me of an article on Iraq, just as it was going tits-up. The new Iraqi government was designing a brand-new Iraqi flag (the design we know was conceived by Saddam Hussain).

      A very prescient critic was quoted as saying, “our country is about to fall apart, yet our new government is wasting its time doing doodles.”

      Britain is on the verge of falling into the abyss, and yet Cameron’s mob of complete incompetents are pissing about with the decorations.

    • 99
      smoggie says:

      That’s the problem with a true democracy, nobody does as they’re fucking told.

  18. 21
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    If it had said “all are equal under the law” then it might have a thumbs up, however it represnts more of same.

    • 81
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      All are NOT equal. It’s called genetics, and however much he may deplore reality, there’s no getting away from that fact. As he himself so notably illustrates.

  19. 24
  20. 25
    Anonymous says:

    A good way to lower the political temperature with this irrelevant nonsense. Potentially more appropriate –a midget rampant stuck up a large drain pipe? Well it’s a thought!

  21. 27
    Perse O'Nally says:

    And there’s me thinking the ladder was to help him get into the speaker’s chair.

    Four balls…two for him…two for her. chop off the useless cu nt’s head.

    Und so weiter.

  22. 30
    MadTramWoman says:

    Its a facking liberty is wot it is

  23. 31
    Demetrius says:

    As a sometime member of a Heraldry Society, I winced, blinked and shook my head. Heralds of the past were notorious for including hidden jokes in an Achievement. Bercow has been suckered by The Establishment again.

  24. 32
    Raving Loon says:

    All men are created equal perhaps, but bugger being equal to John Bercow, I’m not a f***ing dwarf!

  25. 33
    Gordon Clown MP says:

    No vibrator in the family crest – it’s that kind of slight that would make an unhinged halfwit mix her husbands cocktails with a damp black mamba.

  26. 34
    Colin says:

    Screw the ladder, a greasy pole would have been better

  27. 35
    Lizzie says:

    Just how big a d**khead do you have to be to be so completely naff as to put a ladder on your Coat of Ams remind everyone what a crawling social climber you are? He might as well get the word ‘prole’ tattooed on his forehead!

    • 65
      MrAngry61 says:

      How big a dickhead do you have to be to commission a coat of arms? It’s not as if Bercow is establishing a new dynasty – if so it would be the first to be created by a leech.

    • 289
      Anonymous says:

      The motto For Hire above the shield would have been more appropriate.

  28. 37
    Spartacus says:

    Seems to be missing a great piece of shite.
    Oh sorry, that’s beercow himself.

  29. 38
    Bob Crow's big belly laugh says:

    Instead of cutting services and benefits, find a way of reducing insane property prices by 80% and the economy will kickstart a boom where it’s worth working hard.

  30. 39
    Memminger says:

    Get rid of the pink triangles and rainbows and just put a watermark of two sweaty men shagging.

    • 41
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      That’s just a normal day at the BBC

      • 91
        Jethro's camp alter ego says:

        What? Only two? It’s the Cuts! As I said to someone or other just the other night, ‘Too far, and too fast!’

  31. 40
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Wouldn’t this have been more appropriate?

  32. 42
    A potential roadsweeper says:

    Instead of cutting services and benefits, find a way of reducing insane property prices by 80% and the economy will kickstart a boom where it’s worth working hard.

  33. 44
    Dreary Steeples says:

    Reminds me of the snakes and ladders board I used to play on as a child.

  34. 48

    Isn’t it a tape measure that his motto is inscribed on? What a fitting way to commemorate Mr Bercow – and his obsession with his diminutive height!

  35. 50
    It doesn't add up... says:

    A ladder for the man who should be wearing tights.

  36. 56
    On benefits and proud says:

    Much the same motto i whistle every monday morning on my way to the jobseekers office.

  37. 58
    It doesn't add up... says:

    I suppose it’s blue on the left and red on the right because that’s how it looks to him from his high chair.

  38. 60
    Frank Randle says:

    Nice to see he hasn’t forgotten the family window-cleaning round.

  39. 63
    Peghmey_vIttlhegh says:

    Equal to Earthling “Corbett” but jokes are not

  40. 64
    What a pile of shit says:

    It’s the sort of shit, makey uppy heraldry you’d sell to a gullible yank looking for his ancestors in the ‘olde country’.

    Touristy trash.

  41. 67
    Ivor Biggun says:

    Surely it should also include a picture of a ladies “front bottom”, since Bercow certainly is a complete Hunt.

  42. 75
    rabid hamster says:

    shouldnt there have been some reference to the other 6 dwarves on there somewhere?

  43. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Wot a ridiculously self important waste of money typical of this stupid man and his self important wife. Bring on Jacob Rees Mogg for Speaker

  44. 79
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    Seeing as you ask I think it’s utterly shite. An irrelevant grandstanding in this age of austerity showing how completely out of touch it is. Dreadful, cheap and nasty !

  45. 82
    Reason says:


  46. 85
    Popeye says:

    This is taxpayers money this idiot is spending on his grandiose stupidity.
    How much would it cost to put him down?

  47. 86
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    >Gets the gunpowder….

  48. 88
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Looking forward to the next edition of Private Eye on this subject.

    Meantime, I hope the people of Buckingham are immensely proud of their MP tonight. Just how fucking pompous and stupid do you have to be to vote for that idiot?

    • 155
      Ex-Conservative voter says:

      Dear President Ahmedinejad,

      If you’re thinking of testing your peaceful nuclear weapons, please target them on Buckingham, as everyone who lives there, especially if they voted Conservative, frankly deserves a violent and imminent death if not by the initial blasts then by the radioactive fallout.

      Many thanks,

  49. 96
    shame says:

    Dwarfus vulgaris et trampus

  50. 97
    Anonymous says:

    Shouldve been a greasy pole, a small tit and an even smaller chopper.

  51. 100
    Waupoos says:

    some are more equal than others…

  52. 104
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier says:

    Mrs Bercow coat….

    Dildo and a Pikey Caravan

    • 165
      Chavtastic pie key Britain says:

      Thinking laterally, her coat of arms should be an empty space, representing where the objects (dildo etc) were, before the pikeys stole them.

  53. 105
    I bought my peerage off Lord Levy says:

    Squeaker’s arms will look good in father’s cab

    About that level in taste and style I would say

  54. 110
    HRH The Queen says:

    And twat do you do?

  55. 112
    JH says:

    Is there space for ‘BUT SOME ARE MORE EQUAL THAN OTHERS’ at the bottom?

    Ideally with little £ symbols rather than triangles.

    Gorbals Mick did enough damage; this little turd and his media whore of a wife are just taking the piss now.

  56. 115
    Stepney says:

    Where’s the Vibrator rampant?

    • 141
      Ewanme says:

      Here ya goes , darlin :

      E x .

      • 154
        Tony Blackhead says:

        This just missed out on the hot top 500 BTW, pop-pickers.

        • 164
          Ian Kilmister says:

          Shove this up your bottom, Mr. Bercow:

          • apathetic lyricist says:

            Shut up, you talk too loud,
            You don’t fit in with the crowd,
            I can’t believe you exist,
            I’ve crossed you right off my list,
            Too much, too soon,
            You’re way out of tune,
            No Class, No Class

            Way out, you’re way out of line,
            No buddy I can’t spare a dime,
            Fade out, baby that’s right,
            No bark and even less bite,

            Your perfect smile,
            Betrays your lack of style,
            No Class, No Class
            Ah No Class, No Class

            Too late, you can’t catch up now,
            You face the wrong way anyhow,
            I know you ain’t got the brain,
            To come in out of the rain,

            Too bad, no magic,
            I’m afraid you’re merely tragic,
            No Class, baby No Class
            No Class, ah No Class

            Ha, fucking ha.

  57. 118
    Col. Brown, in the billiard balls, with the boot says:

    Some poor c unt is going to work these comments from top to bottom, over and over, until it runs out of things to say to itself.

  58. 122
    smoggie says:

    Bercow the House Elf asked for his portrait to be painted, Hogwarts and all.

  59. 128
    Lobster throttler says:

    He’s a jumped up little twat, what arrogance to believe he warrants a coat of arms, silly little prick.

  60. 133
    Tram Woman says:


  61. 134
    Recruiting Sergeant Armand Hammer says:

    The President has asked me to keep an eye on this country.
    The USA is very concerned that its become a country full of commies, pinkos,hippies and Democrats.

    So, answer some questions.

    1. Who is John Bercow? Is that his real name? Sounds Islamic?
    2 . Can he be trusted? I don’t know, but from his picture I’d say “Hell NO!”
    3. Is his wife really a prostitute? Does that not make him an easy target for subversion? Are you Limeys dumb or what?
    4. Is he a pinko? Sure looks like a pinko. I expect he’s full of sympathy for that stinkin’ garbage pile full of winos you call the ‘tent city.’ That Bercow looks like the slippery ineffectual sort who praises things he wouldn’t be seen dead in.
    5. And finally – A speaker is a an electro-acoustic transducer that converts electrical signals into sounds loud enough to be heard at distance! For the use of!
    What do YOU degenerate ex-redcoats mean by the term speaker. None that i recognise.

    You have until twenty two hundred hours to furnish the president with a full set of answers or our special relationship {whatever that is..sounds gay} will be over.

    Comply now!
    And end this British commie disease.

  62. 137
    Mr Plum says:

    Don’t know why he felt the need to include his skirting board painting ladder

  63. 145
    Breaking news from Ireland says:


    I must officially inform you that HRH Prince Will Wales is on his way in his helocopter across the Irish Sea with Lord Levison’s Order to haver you arrested and locked up in Dublin Castle

  64. 146
    NeverRed says:

    Just thought I’d send a test comment as I must have upset someone as my comments are no longer shown.
    Perhaps I have criticised Balls & Co. too much!

  65. 148
    nell says:

    Is that scimitar for chopping off his head when we finally get rid of him?

    Oh and he needs a coat of arms, why?!

  66. 150
    Englishman Abroad says:

    Thought a fluffy triangle might be more appropriate

  67. 157
    Hughes. says:

    Should be on the side of a pill-popping Saracen window cleaner’s van.

  68. 158
    nell says:

    I suppose this means that this idiot’s going to end up in the HoL when the HoC eventually gets a backbone and kicks him out like it did gorbals mick, doesn’t it?

    • 191
      Engineer says:

      If I recall correctly, it’s compulsory for ex-spe*kers to be kicked upstairs. It’s probably one of those ancient traditions that they have to have a coat of arms, as well; though since the little squirt has ditched all the other traditions (wig, stockings, buckled shoes etc.) perhaps he might have saved the taxpayer a bob or two by ditching this one, too.

  69. 159
    Muggins says:

    A disgusting waste of taxpayers money!!! It is on a par with the dreadful logo for the olympic games.
    Oh, these people are so full of hubris, out of touch and living a great life off my back!!!!!

  70. 160
    If we're all equal.. says:

    “All are equal”.

    Great, does that mean I can have a state-funded apartment like his, and his salary and pension pot?

  71. 162
    Costcutter1 says:

    Does this we are all equal bit include people named Murdoch?

  72. 166
    Mr Plum says:

    It looks like one of those health and safety warning signs for circus acts.

  73. 170
    Anon Voter says:

    Start a URGENT E-Petition That speaker “Berk-ow” is bringing the House of Commons into dis-repute with his continued childish immature actions & we the Voters demand he be removed from the position of Speaker of the House NOW”

  74. 171
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Big car = small cock

    Coat of Arms = really nothing better to do with one’s life (and taxpayers money).

    We laugh at the vanity of dictators / power brokers / politicians in Africa and elsewhere across the world. Why bother frankly when we have our own ‘home grown’. Beyond contempt.

    • 180
      Observer says:

      Spank you have got it in one. Just add golf club captains to your list jumped up ladder/greasy pole climbers.

  75. 172
    Ratsniffer says:

    What do we think? Self glorifying jumped up little midget.

  76. 174
    Scott says:

    He needs to use the ladder to be able to kiss Sally on the lips and the five discs represent being only five feet tall

    The pink represents the colour of Sally’s Vibrat……………… Fuck it, what a waste of money.

    Odious C……..

  77. 175
    Mr. Chipping says:

    If he’s going to put pink triangles and rainbows flags on the damn thing, perhaps the motto should have been “Uxor mea barba est.” YOU do the heavy lifting on the translating.

  78. 177
    Jess The Dog says:

    And politicians really wonder why normal people hate them??

    • 190
      David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

      “Hate” is just a state of mind, Jess. Look, we are all in this together and I wouldn’t mind betting that you actually love us as much as we do. Self-love is a precious commodity that brings you closer to God whilst distancing yourself from the dribbling plebs that seek to puncture my bubble of Daveness. I’m on your side and I feel your pain. Samantha thinks whatever I tell her to think. So we are quits, yeah?

  79. 184
    Alastair Campbell says:

    You leaked my evidence. Careful, Guido. Or I’ll do a Harrowden Hills on you.

    • 188
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Trouble is with Campbell you don’t know if it’s the truth or a lie. So I’ll settle for him being a liar.

  80. 186
    I don't need no doctor says:

    So the country is in a financial mess with massive cutbacks in spending. So why as the arsewipe Bercow gone ahead with having his coat of arms. He really is an egotistical bag of shit.
    We are not all in it together!

  81. 187
    South of the M4 says:

    Just got home from a hard day paying taxes for these *astards to live a luxurious life. The coat of arms is a load of *ollocks. Tell it like it is. I am on strike on Wednesday.Fed up with paying for the public sector to spend their time doing this sort of crap and not sorting out the many issues this country has. Rant over.

  82. 192

    I would not want to be LGBT at all.

    But if it were made obligatory (which may turn out to be the case soon), I would want to be all of them together.

    • 225
      • 236

        Interesting. Thanks.

        Wonder what the scientists would say about Schrödinger’s hamster. He did have one, you know. Quantum decoherence might be looked upon in a different light.

        Have you read any David Deutsch?

    • 228
      Tachybaptus says:

      Sеrіаllу wоuld bе bеttеr thаn sіmultаnеоuslу. Hоw саn а hеrmарhrоdіtе сrоss-drеss?

      Τіrеsіаs sаw twо snаkеs mаtіng, а tаbоо sіght, аnd wаs turnеd іntо а wоmаn. Sеνеn уеаrs lаtеr, hе sаw thе snаkеs аt іt аgаіn аnd wаs сhаngеd bасk іntо а mаn. Zеus аnd Hеrа аskеd hіm whеthеr mеn оr wоmеn еnјоу sеx mоrе. Τіrеsіаs, hаνіng еxреrіеnсеd bоth, rерlіеd thаt wоmеn rесеіνе nіnе tіmе mоrе рlеаsurе thаn mеn. Hеrа dіdn’t lіkе thіs аnswеr аnd struсk hіm blіnd. But Zеus gаνе hіm thе gіft оf рrорhесу tо соmреnsаtе fоr hіs lоss.

      • 235
        Tachybaptus says:

        Оn sесоnd thоughts, І suрроsе уоu соuld mаnаgе аll аt оnсе іf уоu tооk LGBΤ tо bе Lеsbіаn, Gау, Bоth аnd Τrіsеxuаl. Еwаnmе mіght bе аblе tо аdνіsе оn thіs.

        • 239

          I had a friend (yes, alright, I know!) who became outraged when he was branded as serial adulterer. “I am not a serial adulterer”, he thundered. “I am a parallel one!”

          Second point is that in a superposition, I can be anything and everything I like. Remember, I did not chose this – it was thrust upon me.

          My final, and most important point, is that I have to defend the honour of my special friend, Ewanme. You cannot have been following my posts to closely, otherwise you will have seen that I spotted her in Tescos some nights ago. She did not see me as I had cunningly disguised myself as a shelf packer. When she bent over to pick up that cider …


          • Ewanme says:

            Hallo again , SC , petal xx .

            You’s snuck up on me on the one shift when my thongs woz all dryin on the radiator , ain’t ya ???

            I doesn’t normally expose my thingy in the baby food isle , darlin x .

            I hopes ur Club Points rocketed skywards , wotever ya woz doin buyin , hun x .

            Best wishes . Ain’t gonna do that *special* piccy tonite coz Ewa’s a bit wankered , SC .

            E x .

          • Ewanme says:

            P.S. Respect for all the shit u churns out , babe .

            I is slightly in awe .

            E x .

          • Don’t think even I can find adequate words , darlin x .

            Course , I is impatient , hun xx . *Rubs against legs several times*

            But a cat of my long standin (an I has been up a lot today) knows that when somethin is really good, it is worth waitin for . ;-)

            I has churned out lots of stuff , darlin . Bucket loads . Like that Christopher Wren bloke ses , if u wanna a monument , looks around yer , babes .

            U would have liked him , talks jus like us an all .

            Hopes ya keeps yourself intact 4 me , hun .

            Love from SC xx .

            *How is she going to react when she discovers I went to Eton and Balliol?*

          • Ewanme says:

            :) x

  83. 193
    Sophie says:

    £37,000 feffing quid of taxpayers money!

    Hanging is too good for that cabal of crooks.

    I cannot believe that they have spent £37,000 of our money on that despicable c_unt – they really are rubbing our noses in it.

    Tories out.

  84. 194
    HenryV says:

    Why does the FIRST COMMONER have a coat of arms?

    • 198
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      Because he is armigerous. You probably knighted his great-grandad for services at the battle of Crecy or some-such. With hindsight, cutting grandad’s balls off would have been a greater good for the Nation.

      • 283
        HenryV says:

        Thanks Grumps…..

        I am hopping back in the TARDIS now to make the necessary edit to the time line.

        (PS: I did know about him being an armiger. I was being a bit silly. Pet peeve of mine are those who despise the system for being arcane and class ridden and then grasp all they can when they reach the supposed top.)

  85. 196
    The establishment says:

    All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

  86. 197
    hmmm says:

    Is the ladder to show that they don’t discriminate against “little people”?

  87. 199
    Blair's legacy says:

    Panorama on now is investigating the corruption of PFI. But will they mention that they’re the result of Blair arranging hefty kickbacks for his pals?

  88. 200
    Michael says:

    Pass the sick bag. What a load of PC crap. Ladders, tennis balls and gay iconography on a family crest? Are you sure it’s not April Fools’ Day?

    • 203
      Max says:

      And rainbow colours. I think they are taking the piss. It’ll be in Poundland soon and still not worth it.

  89. 202
    Blair's legacy says:

    Labour’s John fucking Mann moaning about PFI’s. Did the c unt speak out when Blair was pushing them through?

  90. 205
    The Iron Lady Part II says:

    A pity there’s no cure for dementia and no cure for aging. If such cures existed, we could have Maggie back to sort this country out.

  91. 206
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Fucking waste of money ! and its not finished…..

    Its missing a fat useless gobshite slag wife for which the midget is best known for.

  92. 208

    Still, still, still …

    It is up

    It could not be more up than the Eiffel Tower.

  93. 210
    ho hum says:

    Coat of arms? What he really needs is a trouser of legs…

  94. 211
    Blair's legacy says:

    Now c unting Margaret Hodge is bemoaning PFI repayment costs on Panorama. It was her beloved Tony who drew up the disgraceful contracts! And this is the bitch who called a victim of child abuse mentally unbalanced and was forced to apologise.

  95. 213
    Pride comes before a fall says:
    • 223
      Ewanme says:


      The press is for tossers , darlin .

      Ain’t u worked that out yet , FFS ??

      Nobody gives a fuck bout ur tiny world , does they ??

      E x .

    • 227
      Infuriated of West Mids says:

      I respectfully suggest you take a look at your own moniker and think. Carefully.

  96. 214
    Blair's legacy says:

    SMOKING GUN! Panorama has got documents that showed PFI for hospitals was more expensive than alternatives. But the department for health didn’t like this and asked for a fake recalculation that gave them the answer they wanted. And when was this document dated? November 2009. Now, who was in power in 2009.

  97. 215
    Esmerelda says:

    I think it’s quite nice really and suits him – but the motto is wrong – it should be ‘Being an a*sehole is punishment in itself.’

  98. 217
    Billy Bellend says:

    Replace the sword with a dildo.

  99. 219
    Dwayne says:

    Hey bruv I’m not getting that Croydon tube any more.

  100. 221
    Old Herald says:

    Pink was never an heraldic colour before the poufs came along. It was gules, azure, vert, or, argent and sable.

    Damn country’s never been the same since they stopped making hereditary peers.

    • 232
      Tachybaptus says:

      But уоu соuld stіll hаνе а ріnk trіаnglе: а сunt, рrореr. Аnd hе іs. (ΝB mеdіеνаl wоmеn shаνеd, аnd іn Dаntе’s Іnfеrnо Роре Саlіxtus ІІ wаs соndеmnеd tо bе а сunt-shаνеr, аs Dоrоthу Sауеrs’ trаnslаtіоn рuts іt.)

    • 242

      Come on! I used to study heraldry at school in art class. I did not even know what an iron hoof was then.

      But I did think that gules, azure, argent and sable sounded terribly iffey. Try saying them without sounding camp.

  101. 222
    Eddie Miliband says:

    I look forward to dismantling the chancellor’s autumn statement tomorrow. I just hope Charlie Whelan has my speech finished in time.

  102. 229
    Right On Ron says:

    I thought it was the fashion now to add “Q” to the acronym “LGBT” – meaning questioning. I think it would be appropriate in this case as it would represent every sentient human being questioning how such a fuckfaced stunty ever got the job

  103. 230
    Scott says:

    If all are equal can I have a £37,000 coat of arms funded by a debt that’s paid for by the taxpayer.

  104. 231
    BlueTory says:

    What a load of bollocks!

  105. 234
    alan scott says:

    Perhaps the College of Arms could comment on the alleged £37000 price tag? In 1988 when it was suggested that I apply for a coat, the price was about £2000.

  106. 237
    Chavsda says:

    Is it just me or are Asda commercials aimed entirely at the chav working class demographic?

  107. 238
    Gordon the Mong says:

    What I found out the other day is that the speaker receives a special pension. This a set amount, his current salary I think, for life. The biggest joke is it is independent of the term they serve. So if this twat and his twat wife are thrown out tomorrow, he by courtesy of the taxpayer, will be laughing all the way to the bank.

  108. 241
    albacore says:

    Tennis balls?
    Who are they kidding?
    Monocular smileys with the single eye mid-forehead!
    Those bloody Bilderberger lizards are everywhere.

  109. 243
  110. 248
    Mrs Crewe says:

    It’s dreadful and no doubt designed by his commen wife

  111. 250
    Anonymous says:

    awful, awful awful. Just like the man

  112. 251
    Cynic says:

    is there a subliminal message in the coloured strips behind the ‘All Are Equal’ banner? Looks like a Gay Pride flag to me.

  113. 252
    Cynic says:

    They forgot Sally’s Rabbit

    • 293
      Peter Carter-Fuck says:

      It’s never out of her quim long enough for them to copy it. Poor thing hasn’t seen the light of day for years.

  114. 253

    They must have been American heralds because they have got the tinctures on the party per pale confused. Azure dexter and Gules sinister would better indicate his political regression. He climbs from the right into the left.

    An absence of Ermine or Vair may indicate depilation.

    • 256
      Tachybaptus says:

      It was suggested above, at 13, that he was descending the ladder, in which case it makes sense.

      As for a fur, Counter-Potent would seem most suitable.

  115. 255

    He’s a Roths’ Lizard

  116. 257
    Ian says:

    The “seaxe” on Bercow’s shield is how we Saxons got our name – given to us by neighbouring German tribes because we used these very effective notched swords in battle. After migration to Britain, there was a “Kingdom of the East Saxons” – “Essex” for short.

    Now tell me, what on Earth is so English (from “Anglo-Saxonish”) about Bercow of all people?

  117. 258

    You need to look under the stone guys.

  118. 259
    Paddy says:

    This looks like something out of Shrek, a grotesquerie belonging in the silliest of satires.

    Berkov truly is a repulsive creature.

  119. 266
    Vaz says:

    Baronness Uddin and I greatly respect The Speaker. I firmly believe that he will propose me for the peerage I so richly deserve for all I have done for our country.

  120. 268
    phil says:

    Highly unlikely I would be surprised if it made runner up.

  121. 270
    God says:

    I dont think that poor little Bercow is equal to many in the trouser department! After all, Sally “Bare Cow” admitted that her favourite gadget is her vibrator. I suppose that it’s to compensate for the diminutive Bercow winkle.

  122. 272
    God says:

    So that’s what the ladder is about! I reckon that there should also be a snake for the little fellow to slide down when his last shred of credibility has finally gone!

  123. 276
    bs says:

    The supporter should be female attention-seeker rampant in a sheet and fur-topped welly boots

  124. 278
    genghiz the kahn says:


  125. 280
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    Words literally fail me.

  126. 281
    Anonymous says:

    Some are more Equal than other’s .. They’ve got Gun’s !!!

  127. 282
    V says:

    You just know that this was the wife’s doing.

  128. 285
    Disco Biscuit says:

    I thought the ladder was about his wife’s tights

  129. 286
    Ed's Eye Bags says:

    I could have done it for 50p : a hairy cock with name John Bercow underneath it. Job done.

  130. 290
    Sir David Beckham says:

    Bercow stole my Golden Balls !

  131. 291
    Voice of Reason says:

    It is sad really but I think the ladder represents how he feels about his height and how he would feel at the top of the ladder. Poor man.

  132. 295
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    I must give some credit to Mr Squeaker Bercowitz, this coat of arms really does show him as the tawdry nonentity he really is, a man so shallow and common that he can only be trusted to turn anything he touches to shit. They must have been pissing themselves at the College of Arms when they had to design this for the appalling little tosser. Mind you they wouldn’t have been so happy to see what Sally’s leaking vaginal fluids had done to their carpets. It’s a little known fact that the monster in Alien was based on her, only toned down a bit so it could get an X certificate.

  133. 304
    Sir Peregrine Arbuthnot-Cholmondly says:

    Hardly surprising. The little oik went to a comprehensive.

  134. 305
    random says:

    I think the college of arms went a bit far with this one… taking the piss out of the speaker of the house of commons in such an outrageous way, bercow’s decendants will still be hacked out about this coat of arms in generations time I think. “pro muslim gay social climbing moneygrabbing equality tosser” is basically the visual cue. Nice.

  135. 306
    Bugler Bert says:

    Union leaders? The PM was right. they run the Labour Party; so the rs and Leaders should stand for election every four years with a turnout of no less than 60%.
    That should give the TU leaders and their pathetic boot-licking lapdog MPs a semblance of worth…….

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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