November 25th, 2011

Turbulent Tory Take-Off at Heathrow By-Election

As the Tories announce their candidate for the upcoming Heathrow Airport by-election, there was some rather loud grumbling in the ranks last night. CCHQ have gone with the seat’s two-time general election veteran Mark Bowen. He’s the head of the Tory group on Hounslow Council and is looking to over turn the late Alan Keen’s 4,658 majority.

Given that the local press declared Bowen had “virtually accepted defeat” before polling day in May 2010, many boys and girls on the CCHQ approved list feel there should have been some semblance of an open contest, but it was all quiet from HQ. So imagine how well this email was received, hot from the Candidates Office, hours before last night’s announcement was made:

“I am expecting every candidate on the Approved List to rise to the challenge and take part in the campaign and polling day. If you are unable to visit Feltham & Heston, you can help out in other ways by joining our call centre in Millbank or at CCHQ Midlands based in Coleshill.

I am enclosing your Campaign Support Record Sheet. Therefore it is vitally important to print a copy and take it with you whenever you go to Feltham & Heston. This sheet will be signed by one of our Sector Agents each time you go. At the end of the campaign the completed sheet should be returned to the Candidates Department at CCHQ”

It’s not the request that is causing feathers to be spat, rather the patronising handholding and school trip worksheets, handed out in silence about how the decision was being made. So unity and vigour for December 15. It’s going to be a frosty winter on the stump..


137 Comments

  1. 1
    Ewanme says:

    WOW !!!

    That woz a weird trip .

    Thanx for link , Billy Botty x .

    You had some strange *friends* , darlin !!!

    Luv E xx .

    • 2

      That’s fine x .

      SC x .

      • 3
        Ewanme says:

        Oh , hiya SC x .

        Not sure where the fuck I woz but Billy seemed to actin kinda strange an I comes outta there feelin a bit ‘soiled’ , babes .

        Woz it like a mental gang-bang or somethin ???

        Heavy shit .

        E x .

        • 6
          ding dong says:

          Just think of it changing channels E.

        • 7
          Ewanme says:

          Ooooo !!

          Na nights MOWB SC , darlin x .

          Hope ya sleeps good .

          E x .

        • 8
          Dick the Prick says:

          Bollox, it’s all good fun – shit panel this week, though.

        • 12
          Dynaplod (up for promotion) says:

          Madam

          I am investigating this lot and you seem to be a victim here. Some say you have sinned youself but, between you and me *cough – chuckle*, I consider you are more sinned against than a sinner.

          Of course, I will need statements, so would be pleased to hear when you might be available to take something down.

          Have you got a sister at the hospital? You look remarkably familiar!

          Up to you as to whether you wish to proceed. I await your advices. Evening All.

          • Aaron D Highside says:

            I don’t understand lefties. So humourless. So viciously hissy. So incapable of understanding why socialism doesn’t work. Only 3% of Europeans are now in the grip of leftie governments. We are the 97%!!

            BBC, Polly, Jamie Oliver (doesn’t he sound like Ken Livingstone) and other champers lefties…take note.

        • 39
          Rage Against the Political Elite says:

          He He, No more immigration into UK as Border Agency Quango goes on Strike.
          All public sector workers should strike for a month, and then the whole economy will collapse as the Private Business that pay their wages will fold. The government will then have to levy the TAX burden onto those that are left bankrupting them. The sooner the better then we can start all over again and finish with the support for a corrupted Government with Corrupted policy and Vested interest.

        • 84
          AC1 says:

          > All public sector workers should strike for a month, and then the whole economy will collapse as the Private Business that pay their wages will fold

          LOGIC FAIL.

        • 118

          AC1? You’re bright. What does MWOB stand for (in the context struck out by Ewa?)

        • 122
          The Cabinet Secretary says:

          ‘Man on Waterloo Bridge’ is a poster on the DT threads and is refered to as MOWB. He posts stuff that most aficionados here would not dispute.

    • 55
      Vote UKIP to vote Tory says:

      Stuff Dave’s pretend Tory party. Vote real Tory, vote UKIP.

  2. 4
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Maybe Gordon the Dud should sign the Attendance Register at the HoC.

    He could get a BrownStar for each day he turns up.

  3. 5
    The Iron Lady says:

  4. 11
    Jimmy says:

    Remember the obedient boys and girls who turn in their homework are the future leaders of the party.

    • 13
      Dynaplod (up for promotion) says:

      Your nicked, sonny!

      • 15
        Doctor Mick says:

        It’s *you’re*, you dolt.

        • 16
          Dynaplod (up for promotion) says:

          I’m only a police officer, sir, not a greengrocer.

          Now move along please. if everybody was to stand there, how would all the other people get past?

          ”””’

          • sick of everything, ever says:

            Tell me why I should carry on Dyna? I’ve said some amusing things (haven’t we all?) but now I log on to view an empty pit. Are we all addicted to reading throwaway comments? I haven’t eaten in two days and haven’t had a bath since the 3rd of last month. What the fuck are you doing up at this time of night? Why, why, why? The trouble is, if I leave I know I’ll come back with some serious venom. lol. I’ve put my relationship and health in jeopardy to fart out a few pointless comments. Am I normal?

          • Ron Broxted says:

            Normal as they come.

          • Dynaplod (up for promotion) says:

            That is more than my paygrade, sir.

            Can’t understand myself why anyone comes to these places. I mean, look at it! The place hasn’t had a coat of paint for years.

            I am paid to do the nightshift. It is not pleasant, I assure you. But someone has got to do it. And I have my eye on this nice bungalow. It is my life’s ambition. Would you deny that to me?

            Are any of us normal? I’ll leave that up to the Chief Super. That’s what he’s paid for.

            Oh and sorry about that apostrophe. I realise that my response could be considered as unprofessional. But my pencil broke at the wrong moment.

            Evening All.

          • Joseph Heller says:

            If everybody “was” to stand here, I’d be a bit daft not to do it myself, wouldn’t I?

    • 14
      Ewanme says:

      I’m sick of doing my homework. I’m sick of staring at this screen. I’m sick of listening to

      LOL !!!

      Nice one , Jimmy !!!

      E x .

      • 38
        Jacob Bronowski says:

        It’s said that science … will dehumanize people … and turn them into numbers … That’s false … tragically false … Look for yourself …

        Here is Ewanme … we all know … what she spеaks like … yet look underneath that strikeout … You will see that … when she is unobserved … she spеaks just as we do … yet … she appеars to be … taking instruction … from Jimmy … who himself … appеars to be in charge … of a load of kids …

        This is where people … were turned into numbers. Into this blog … were flushed the ashes … of some four million sockpuppets and windowlickers …. And that was not done by gas …. It was done by arrogance … it was done by dogma … it was done by ignorance … When people believe … that they have absolute knowledge … with no test in reality … this is how they behave … This is what men do … when they aspire to the knowledge … of gods …

        OK darlings … did you catch that … Is it a wrap?

    • 18
      I'll do anything to get to the top says:

  5. 21
    MAC Address says:

    06-00-00-00-00-00

  6. 26
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido? Sorry to pester you in bed but I just have a question for you while my brain is thinking. What time is caption comp today? I’m only askind becaise, I’m looking at the picture and there isn’t anything funny aboutt it :(
    I may need more time to win it, /guido? Thanks. Ive given the kitchen a special Billy-clean and sorted that obstinate smear from the porcelain that seemed to have been there since I won last week’s comp. Sorry to get you up for this comment but Im a bit jittery about this weeks contest guido.
    BTW – isnt Srteve Cougar Grey these days?

    • 28
      not a machine says:

      I just whish he could have popped in an AH HA at some point , with perhaps a casio intro “lord leveson knowing me , knowing you oh and the NOW AH HA”

    • 78
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      *** MULTIPLE BILLY ALERT ***

      They are replicating at such an alarming rate that the Home Office has upped the Billy Status to Flashing Red with Siren.

      Citizens! Stay indoors! Keep your windows sealed! Tune your radio to BBC Radio 4 and when instructed put on your gasmasks and hide under the stairs!

      —end—

      • 88
        Selohesra says:

        Could we not register our names at the site linked our e-mail address – thus saving the confusion of two people accidently coming up with the same humerous name?

  7. 27
    not a machine says:

    Seems like a good candidate , labour must be buying every kitchen sink going .

    reduction of taxes ? : depends if you consider the current national and international workings of the economy , as behaving under standard classical ecnomics . I dont , but that doesnt mean it wont have an effect .
    what do we know so far , despite Ed balls guru guide to ruinomics ,thus far .
    1) stimulus packages seem not have worked and left a longer term problem
    2) there imbalances to do with ecnomics
    3) Bar Int developement , budget has enabled schools and NHS to undergo reform whilst keeping some/improving level of service
    4) Unemployment is the problem , as in the economy , only a more sustainable and perhaps thoughtful look as to why 5mn people of working age are on benefits (and have ended up there due to changes in work) is part of the solution
    5) Dont know what Labour have been thinking all these years in wonk land , but public sector is only afforded by taxing (confident)greater private sector economy .Not alas by running defecits with borrowings
    6) whole system is exhausted and no reserves to re prime (well done ruin selling gold off)
    7) some of public sector is too expensive , as are houses and cars (big purchases for ordinary person) so some items are becomming seperated from potential purchaser even at low interest rates , so that part of economic recovery imapired .
    8) important export market is slowing , may implode , due to debts and wrong political decisions on euros longterm success , and inbuilt economic dysfunction continues , even as fiscal union is pursued without tackling debts, finance impaired to support growth.
    9) Only real growth plan is one that can maintain jobs , preferably in manufacturing for home market , or foreign markets who like our exports and way of doing business .
    10) Nearly every other western economy is in trouble

    Basically in my view (I may be wrong) you cannot reduce taxes until private sector employment improves and you get a greater tax take , benefits bill is lessend and modest purchase/credit resumes . I dont think cutting fuel duty will make that much difference to individual incomes nor VAT reduction , as inflation has been taking up the slack . It will only come right when some cost reductions filter through and basic economy is primed and running free of inflation , then you can have a wide tax reduction . I dont rule out some specific help before hand , but this recovery is about more for less , bang for yer buck and capital projects properly delivered on time and on budget to a good quality , every aspect has to contribute to making it work , gravy train days are well and truely over

    • 36
      Spartacus says:

      Some explaining would seem to be in order:

      POLITCS EXPLAINED:

      SOCIALISM
      You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.

      COMMUNISM
      You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

      FASCISM
      You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

      BUREAUCRATISM
      You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

      TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
      You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

      AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

      ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM
      You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
      company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

      A FRENCH CORPORATION
      You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

      A JAPANESE CORPORATION
      You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

      A GERMAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
      eat once a month, and milk themselves.

      AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

      A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

      A SWISS CORPORATION
      You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

      A CHINESE CORPORATION
      You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

      AN INDIAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows. You worship them.

      A BRITISH CORPORATION
      You have two cows. Both are mad.

      AN IRAQI CORPORATION
      Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

      AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
      You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office
      and go for a few beers to celebrate.

      A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
      You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

      • 41
        ding dong says:

        LOL!

      • 46
        labourunionsbbc we are one says:

        Brilliant

        • 54

          CHRIS HUHNE: You have one cow. It is not much but you put up with things until you need to get re-elected. To help your chances, you dispose of your cow in 30 minutes and get a metamorphasised cow which looks as if it has been produced by Picasso on a bad acid night. It turns out that your old cow can think faster than you but needs a prod from plod.

      • 47
        Trinny says:

        A SCOTTISH CORPORATION

        You have two cows. The cows are paid for by an English corporation, who also pay for the food. You give the milk away. You decide to become independent and wonder why the cows go hungry.

        • 52
          jgm2 says:

          You forgot the last line. ‘You then blame the English for not continuing to send food.’

          • Sandy Toxics Turkey Baster says:

            I suggest we accept the amendment

          • A Scottish Corporation says:

            You have two cows, you dont have the finance to get your farm up and running. You go into partnership with the English farmer who lends you the money. As a consequence you revolutionise Cow farming and introduce all manner of technologies which makes your farm the richest in the world, your inventiveness is second to none and you create farms all over the Planet. Only problem is your English farmer gets jealous and moans about the money he invested , failing to see the benefits it brought. Another problem is the nearby Welsh Farmer is caught have sex with your cows.

      • 53
        labourunionsbbc we are one says:

        A TRAVELING FOLK CORPORATION

        You have no cows then somehow you get hold of two cows that belong to someone else. Then the local setteld folk take you to court. eleven years later and twenty lawers richer, the courts say that the cows (now long dead) didn’t belong to you, and you must be re-housed

        • 56

          These things can only improve. Excellent.

        • 71
          jgm2 says:

          A LABOUR CORPORATION

          You have no cows but take a photo of somebody else’s two cows and claim they belong to you and that they are the best cows in the world and that you should be proud that Labour have procured these cows for you. Naturally the (non-existent) best-cows-in-the-world require huge amounts of money to be kept in the manner to which they have become accustomed and so Labour employ six million people to look after the two cows. When the country runs out of money looking after the non-existent cows they blame the banks. And the Am*ri*ans.

          • Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

            The Country then vote Liebour out and a Tory-led coalition have to clean up usual the Augean stables we always leave behind.

      • 69
        Gonk says:

        A Welsh Corporation.
        You have two cows. You swop them both for
        one attractive sheep. Then rejoice in the WRU.

      • 87
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur. says:

        A GREEK CORPORATION:

        You have no cows. You tell 10 different buyers that you have 6 cows and promise to sell them to them at some indeterminate time in the future in return for cash now. You spend all the cash on retsina, souvlaki and filterless cigarettes. You go to sleep for 10 years and upon awaking start a riot because the buyers are demanding you deliver on your promises.

      • 98
        AC1 says:

        Not sure about the Socialism one. It needs beefing up.

        You have 2 cows. You get paid whether they are milked or not.

        • 103
          Socialism says:

          Someone else has two cows, you steal them and the farm they belong to before running the business into the ground. A famine ensues so you begin to shoot people you dont agree with. You console yourself by telling everyone that next time will be different.

        • 105
          Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur. says:

          Needs even further beefing up – suggest adding – “You go on strike for better pay and conditions. You blame the management, the government and the banks when the dairy closes.”

      • 107
        Cleaner who scrapes bogies from off the benches says:

        BRITISH BROADCASTING CORPORATION
        You have two cows. You think they fart a lot, so you paint them green and stuff corks up their arses to save the world. This science is so settled it becomes a lucrative religion. The cows explode proving you were right about how dangerous they were. You charge everyone for breathing in air that you have ‘purified’. Breathing detector vans check for evaders and many dead people are successfully prosecuted or beaten up for not allowing strangers to search their homes.

        • 113
          Aaron D Highside says:

          Socialist cows are imported. They are given individual shippons, hay without pay and live happily forever after, sending excess hay back home.

      • 127
        A Lawyer says:

        I see two people arguing and fighting over a cow, one pulls the cow by the tail and the other has hold of the cow by the horns. While they struggle with the cow and shout abuse at each other I pull up a little stool and milk the cow. I charge them 3,000 quid a day for my service.

      • 134
        Cleaner who scrapes bogies from off the benches says:

        Dear Mr Spartacus,
        We’re very impressed with your financial wizardry, viv-a-vis:

        “ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM
        You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
        company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. “

        We’ll soon be in power again, thanks to our good friend CallMeDave and wondered if you would be available for consultancy work? There could be a Peerage or two in it for you.
        Yours,
        Ed Millibrain (Look, I’m the Leader – I’m just as amazed as you are.)
        Ed No-Ball (Sieg Heil. Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!)

      • 136
        Bart Simpson says:

        Don’t have a cow, man!

  8. 29
    albacore says:

    Here’s your Campaign Support Record Sheet
    Don’t it look nice and tiddly and neat?
    (We had to give Dave summat to do
    Pending fresh orders from the EU)
    It don’t matter how it gets filled in
    It’ll only wind up in the bin
    You must know that in the end we’ll pick
    Some soft, obedient, In-Crowd prick

  9. 30
    Gordon Brown says:

    Has anyone seen my codpiece ?

  10. 31
    Lady Emacs says:

    There are times – lots of times – when the Tories look as stupid as any other political party.

    • 32
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      This Feltham business is straight out of Labour’s playbook. Further proof, if any was needed, that Call-Me-Heir-to-Blair is not a Tory.

  11. 33
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Who cares about this lowlife.

    The important question is are UKIP putting up a candidate ?

    • 45
      God says:

      What would be he point? Most UKIP “cadidates” are moronic losers in life’s great race anyway!

      • 51

        I just got a Sistine Chapel type static shock from that one, God. What shoes are you wearing today?

      • 64
        jgm2 says:

        That’s what they used to say about the S&P in Scotland.

        Look at them now. A majority – something Labour couldn’t rig even when they designed the system to keep the S&P out of power. Labour thrown out on their arses.

      • 80
        Fish says:

        …and troughers as well.

        The two UKIPers stood with their banners outside the HS2 exhibition where I live looked like they’d just got back from their post mortems.

      • 117
        Hang The Bastards says:

        As the public show support for UKIP, more and more will join.

        In the short term Labour may gain. But the country needs to go through the transition from Con to UKIP.

        Once it has happened we will have politicians who think more about this country rather than blowing all our money grandstanding around the world and war mongering.

        WE NEED A FUCKING BIG CHANGE

  12. 34
    David One-Term Cameron says:

    May I punch your card ?

  13. 35
    Anonymous says:

    As we keep saying, they are all the same aren’t they? Harman’s husband parachuted into a female safe seat in the midlands.

    Any one who bothers to vote for conliblab parties is voting for a United States of Europe anyway.

    You get what you deserve so don’t moan if you vote for any of them.

  14. 37
    West Midlands Activist says:

    How is this unreasonable?

    Firstly, to stand by the local candidate who has put sweat and tears into this seat twice already strikes me as absolutely the right thing to do. If they had elbowed him out, you would be complaining about that!

    Secondly, some people on the candidates list time did sweet fanny Adams at the general election. If you want to be MP, you need o demonstrate you’re willing and able to campaign.

    • 44
      ding dong says:

      If he’s twice had a bite of the a the apple and got nowhere then he’s a loser , find someone else NOW, if you Liebour or Blue Labour or Libdums you lose, your not wanted anymore.

      • 57
        jgm2 says:

        My first thought was to support the guy having a third bite of the cherry but since this is a southern constituency then there had to be some real hope for it to go blue in 2010. After all – it ain’t Scotland or Northern England.

        Reading between the lines it sounds as if the defeated candidates for the T*ry nomination were less than enthusiastic about canvassing. It sounds like they need a whole new set of candidates if they can’t work to defeat the common enemy. And, as history has showed, Labour are the enemy within.

  15. 40
    Peghmey_vIttlhegh says:

    Just make sure his second abode is in the tail-wind of my Bird of Prey

  16. 43
    Pedant says:

    How had he declared defeat before polling day?

    The local rag’s story was published on the night of the election (from the count) when candidates had been able to see the piles of votes coming in.

    Just sayin’…

    • 76
      Handycock, Russian Spy Shagger says:

      No Conservative has got a chance in this constituency, it is the very model of New Labour’s political engineering – 95% immigrant population. Dosvedanya and Boaz.

  17. 48
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I’ve been waiting all week for this

    “Black Friday”

    FTSE 100 5106.13 – -21.44

    It will get worse as the day goes on !!!

    • 49

      Splendid news. I am now showing quite a good profit on my shorted positions. I would kiss you for this news, Billy, except I know that you are not gay.

      • 58
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        The FTSE to dip below 5,000 this afternoon ??

        YES! YES! YES!

        FTSE 100 5086.42 – -41.15

        Get in there and go short,you know it makes sense !

      • 60
        Well it's a thought says:

        Do you ever sleep Cat, you seem to spend a lot more than your wasted youth on this blog.

        • 70

          Come on. I’m a cat ffs. What do you expect?

          I have been asleep for most of the time that this thread has been up. Didn’t even stay up to spеak to my GF for too long *swooons*. I am now working on installing a wood-burning stove, ready for the winter. I have a busy life.

          What do you do with your time?

  18. 50
    Let's Get rid Of The Dross says:

    Thank you for this information. Any tory who is as big an idiot as to go along with tihs nonsense is clearly unsuitable for elected office at this level, though they may make admirable parking meter inspectors in some local authority some day when they learn to tie their own shoe-laces.

    Please public a list of all who the children comply so we can avoid them in future.

    • 59
      jgm2 says:

      I think the fact that they feel forced to try and coerce supporters of unsuccessful Tory candidates to campaign against the common enemy suggests a deeply divided local party. Labour must be wetting themselves laughing.

      • 72
        Well it's a thought says:

        Sorry jgm2 throwing water to the flames to try and dowse the fire is a bit late, they need to throw petrol on it and start again, with new people, you can take a horse to water etc, but a braindead voters have already seen this loser and don’t like him, otherwise they would have voted for him.

  19. 61
    Home is where the heart is. says:

    Why waste your vote on dave’s plastic Tory party?

    UKIP is now the real Conservative Home

  20. 62
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    so what happened to open primaries?

  21. 65
    Anonymous says:

    Surely were all cameroons now?cchq really are a sad bunch of kids aren’t they???

  22. 81
    I don't need no doctor says:

    There is a pattern among labour female MPs. Loud mouthed, posturing, and look at me. Liz Kendall on QT last night, Caroline Flint, every time she speaks in the house are two examples.

  23. 83
    I don't need no doctor says:

    My comment at 9:44 under moderation. Yet again.
    The moderator continues to be a fuckwit.
    Get a fucking grip you tosser.

  24. 86
    I don't need no doctor says:

    There is a pattern among labour female MPs. Loud mouthed, posturing, and look at me. Liz Kendall on QT last night, Caroline Flint, every time she speaks in the house, are two examples.

  25. 89
    UKIP. The Conservative Home says:

    Why is Dave trying his best to put this country out of business?

    Boris airport makes total sense but Dave is fannying about with train sets, windmills and foreign aid.

  26. 93
    Fish says:

    Well done to Grant Shapps for taking on Humphrys this morning. Second time in a week that the Tories have bitten back at the BBC.

    More please!

  27. 95
    anonymouse in the Conservative candidates department skirting board says:

    Candidates dept failed to attach the Candidate Record Sheet so I will of course be taking the non-existant sheet with me every time I go and on it will record my non-existant attendance

  28. 96

    Look friends – whilst Ewa is sleeping, what does MWOB stand for?

    Urban Dic is no help.

    I’ve found (Money Over White Bitches). Could that be it?

    I am sure you will all want to help a poor cat find true love…

  29. 97
    Sour-Kraut AnGela's shiny communist puppet says... says:

    WHAT HO!

  30. 104
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    PM David Cameron: “Government will shortly pass a new bill where ethnic minorities will be moved back into their homelands, this means all Africans will go back to Africa, all Chinese will go back to China, all Indians will go back to India. This means the only race left will be the White Britons.”

    Journalist:”Prime Minister, what about those of mixed race?”

    PM: “They will stay in the airport.”

    • 120
      Disgusted of Neasden says:

      Hmm.

      Those who came over with William the Conqueror back to Normandy.

      Danes back to Scandinavia.

      Saxons back to Lower Saxony.

      Angles back to Frisia.

      Jutes back to Jutland.

      Celts back to Belgium.

      The Picts get their country back.

      Shame about the Neanderthals.

  31. 106
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:
  32. 108
    Jane Pig Grim says:

    I will be relaxing next week. http://bit.ly/rpLF5a

    • 124
      I don't need no doctor says:

      ….at the tax payers expense, but I deserve to relax for all the good work I do.

  33. 109

    Off topic but I don’t care, did anyone see Chris Huhne last night? Not a worry in the world, why because he knows the deal was done months ago, no charges and a big I am sorry it took so long!!

  34. 128
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    What is the point of the Conservatives spending anytime and money on this by-election. It’s a safe Labour seat, and as with all by-elections in seats held by the main opposition party, they will easily retain it. Especially with the amount of postal voting in that area!

  35. 135
    Mark Bowen says:

    “Given that the local press declared Bowen had “virtually accepted defeat” before polling day in May 2010″

    The above is untrue. The acknowledgement was made *after* the process of counting ballot papers had started.

    I fight every campaign with 100% effort until the end.



Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messier | Dan Hodges
We Should Honour Victims | Bob Blackman
Bad Al Campbell Spinning for Portland | PR Week
HuffPo’s House Jihadi | Washington Free Beacon
Osborne Gets His Soundbite | Nick Robinson
Moonbat versus Chomsky | Charles Crawford
Beecroft is “S**t” | LibDem MP
News of the World Trailed Watson’s Mistaken Mistress | Indy
Shabana Mahmood MP Saves Brum Market | ITV News
Plan a Velvet Divorce for the €uro | Gideon Rachman
Truth About Romney’s Bain “Vampire Capitalism” | Wall Street Journal
Clegg’s Revenge | Nick Wood
Cleaning Out Stables | Biased BBC

Previously Seen


Peter Botting



Iran’s military chief-of-staff, Major General Hassan Firouzabadi…

“The Iranian nation is standing for its cause and that is the full annihilation of Israel”.



The last Quango in Paris says:

Mr Bryant and Mr Watson managing to make the whole hacking affair look like a farce – the more they moan the less I care about the whole subject! So partisan it beggars belief at all costs. They cannot rise above it ! If I was to call the PM a ‘liar’ I would want to be VERY sure.



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