Exclusive New Pictures of Hancock and the Sexy Spy Emerge
On the day Guido brings you the news that Mike Hancock is off to his favourite country in the whole wide world, the Indy reports that the lusty LibDem, while on the Defence Select Committee, got lobbyists to bung cash to his assistant. The same one that is facing deportation for spying. And he was sleeping with. A picture of the two having late night West End cocktails has been floating around for a couple of months and today Guido can bring you two more pics, from the same night:
Staring into each others eyes, sipping red cocktails, dreaming of the motherland…
Is she worthy of totty watch tag?
Systems with emergent properties or emergent structures may appear to defy entropic principles and the second law of thermodynamics, because they form and increase order despite the lack of command and central control. This is possible because open systems can extract information and order out of the environment.
Strikes to cost economy £500 million, Government says
The public sector pensions strike next week could cost the economy half a billion pounds and lead to job losses, the Government said today.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/8912298/Strikes-to-cost-economy-500-million-Government-says.html
Sarkopolean & Stasi Stooge Merkel to push for Treaty Chages on the 9th of December.
That is not much time for Euro-sceptic Dave to get a British referendum together.
And as this will be a fundamental transfer of powersa to the EU_SSR there is no way that rusty would try to stop democracy, would he?
After fighting with the Mujahadeen in Libya & Afghanistan to impose Sharia compliant democracy in those sandpits surely he could not deny his own people a taste of freedom too?
They are not bothered if the UK leaves the EC north sea gas a trickle (ok50%), fishing gone, UK imports coal and coal products, very few pits open now. If Cammers gets on his high horse or throws a strop, France & Germany they will say go on then, leave. The French & Germans own our electricity and water companies so they can milk those for all they are worth. Steel has more and less gone to India. Talk about walking on eggshells
Strikes to cost economy £500 million, Government says
The public sector pensions strike next week could cost the economy half a billion pounds and lead to job losses, the Government said today.
The planned walkout on November 30 by over two million workers will lower output in the public and private sectors, said the Treasury.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/8912298/Strikes-to-cost-economy-500-million-Government-says.html
Is the photo so blurred cos it’s filmed in “GuidoVision” *hic*?
the camera was drunk as well
What about all those MPs that are forever going to I srael???
That seems to be more favourite than GB itself for loads of them.
Go there for their instructions. Traitorous b######s. The capital and seat of government of this former country no longer at Westminster. It is at the East End. East end of the Mediterranean Sea that is.
Systems with emergent properties or emergent structures may appеar to defy entropic principles and the second law of thermodynamics, because they form and increase order despite the lack of command and central control. This is possible because open systems can extract information and order out of the environment.
Being a thicky does that mean someone is hot stuff or are you just drinking up the Adriatic wine lake by yourself.
It was the extract information bit that had rattled my solitary brain cell.
Weird , honey .
I thought this woz yous describin urself havin a wank an that .
E x .
Under the limit again are we madam? Over.
Yeah , sweetheart
It’s either that or I’s got sulphite poisonin , Filth , babe .
E x .
I see, madam. Like that, is it? Well blow on this and see if it changes colour, sir. Over.
Oh…my….god !!
No wonder u walks funny , petal .
E x .
Why so long to send her back?
Because this is Britain.
You’re assuming the Russians would not raise any objections. The FSB must be thinking they found somewhere where it’s Xmas every day — one of your agents bringing home the bacon and being paid by the targets to do it. Were I the FSB I would ensure there were objections.
dreaming off?
You really should cut back on the work experience from the local comprehensive.
Billy does lunchtimes.
Munchtime Billy!
Today’s Times Newspaper P.52. Look we are all at it:
ADVISER BLAIR MEETS LEADER
‘Astana. Tony Blair met President Nazarbayev of Kazakhstan, who has appointed him as a Consultant, reportedly for millions of dollars. Mr Nazarbayev was elected for a third decade in April with 95% of the vote. The poll was criticised by monitors from the Organisation for Security and Co-operation in Europe.’
I neded to add that I am a Member of that Orgainisation and I specifically did not criticise Kazakhstan nor its democratically elected great President Nazaraybev. Backhander please Tony for the introduction. Boaz.
Just come back from Kaz. In the last election there was a genuine contender to the incumbent but he was an ethnic Russian who, like most of the Kazakhs, speaks Russian as his mother tongue. But unlike them he has little knowledge, if any, of Kazakh, a turkic language.
So the President conveniently introduced a law that Presidential candidates must pass an exam in the Kazakh language, scuppering the Russian’s chances. It would be like asking all candidates for election of the presidency of the Irish Republic to sit an exam in Gaelic.
Rumours that Nazarbayev would actually be marking the exam papers were entirely unfounded.
Don’t be silly. Kazakhstan is 80% Ethnic Kazakh. Russians are only really a presence in the cities. they were imported back in the Stalin times under racist policies. It would be a bit like passing a law in the UK saying the PM must speak English.
I wonder what Alex Salmond’s command of Scots Gaelic is like? And would he still spout nonsense in that language, or would he suddenly make sense?
Strange that only 2 languages are allowed in the HoC English and wait for it Norman French
You betcha! Learned all I know fucking up the UK!
Cheers.
All above board. What Spanish election?
Or the Chinese election?
Only 6″ but it’s the biggest seen in Beijing.
He said election NOT erection
Hancock was snapped with his totty
Too blurred to tell if she’s a hotty
But the pervy spy for certain
Wont try her beef curtains
Instead he is after her botty
The piccies are very grainy
Like holiday shots when its rainy.
But something stands out;
On the left is a lout.
An MP, who’s not very brainy?
moderate applause
Should have put a so after are in line 1 to help the scansion. Thought about it but forgot. You are probably being overgenerous to me.
*Giggles at arseholeS’ an SC’s crap pomes*
Yes , they r Generally Shit darlin x .
SC x .
We wonder about Ewanme,
Can E be a he or a she?
That’s only a niggle,
‘Cos E makes us giggle:
It’s all just a sweet Mr E.
Some praise Mike Hancock’s libido
Others claim that he just an old Pe*do
From Easternbloc spies
To a vunerable girl who cries
I think he’s getting more sex than we do
There one was a man who said Fuck!
I can see it is really bad luck
That my partner in bed
Who’s now expensively fed
Is neither woman, nor girl, but a duck.
You betcha I do. Boaz.
A policeman from Andover Junction
Had a wotsit that just wouln’t function
Throughout married life
He deceived his poor wife
With his Hampshire constabulary truncheon
This copper who’s wotsit was slack
And whose cosh provided sexual attack,
Got the fright of his life
When his fast growing wife
Gave birth to a baby blackjack.
East is east and west is west
And the wrong one I have chose
Let’s go where I’ll keep on pullin’
A Katya, Daniela, Daphne, Rose,
No problem, Jacqui – Jahbulon. Boaz.
That deserves a clap.
No.
The archetypal D.O.M. Wonder if he ever purchased the tie from Private Eye?
I’d have to say not. She’s got a chin like Jimmy Hill.
Guido, please don’t EVER call her sexy again. She is fucking butt ugly. As in truly, biblically ugly. I doubt she was really a spy, if she was she would have looked like the divine Anna Chapman
She looks a bit mongy. I think that was intentional.
Are you sure that’s a woman? It looks like Ian Gillan.
What is Alan Sugar saying to Angelina Jolie?
You’re hired?
oh fuck – it’s not one of Skid and Mark’s cartoons is it?
Showing your age a bit there I think – just repurchased Future Shock the other day. Favourite track No laughing in Heaven
I am pretty sure that it is a photograph of a black cat down a coal mine. Do i win the prize? Boaz
Jahbulon!
at midnight
They say we get the politicons we deserve, Is anyone suprised that the ferel youth looted parts of London after watching thier elected politicons do the same without comebacks?
are you looking at the same pix as the rest of us?
You’ll be lucky if he’s on the same planet as the rest of us.
Oh no. Don’t ruin my week by telling me that Billy is on Qo’noS!
‘Dreaming off the Motherland’ ???
I think that it is either “wanking off” or “dreaming of” the motherland.
If she is guilty, why is she still here? Its months now, could be even over a year.
Do not interfere with the process of our great British justice. Jahbulon.
Lots of Gordon’s friends seem to be appearing at the LeavingSomeout enquiry. Coincidence?
Piers, The McC’s, JK Rowling.
Who’s next Eddie Izzard, Fiona Phillips, Sarah Macauley
Susan Boyle?
JLS?
Arctic monkeys?
Cor blimee mate
Stick to the day job
and no i dont want to see your holiday snaps
It’s taken me 25 years to finally come out of the closet.
I’m not gay, I just like masturbating in confined spaces.
In picture two he’s describing to her how she should hold it whilst placing it in her mouth
Caption competition?
Red cocktails!
Bloody Mary?
Red cocked tales!
Cock Ale?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cock_ale
Looks like the pictures were taken with a Kodak Instamatic
The box *ahem* camera is under the table. Unfortunately his hand is in the way of any interesting shots .
Looks like it was taken with a russian webcam
Miss Zatuliveter…..Tear down those beef curtains.
Handy-cock was a Good old fashoined lover boy………
Sit on my bell end and tell me that you love me!
Handy, I want you to bring back a shipment of ‘Charlie’ from Moscow. You will be contacted on Saturday 26 Nov at 04.00PM. Make sure you are free and not shagging at the time. Another villa in it for you, if you pull it off.
Right on Grant.
0400pm? No wonder these things always go tits up.
The lower picture is an illustration of how he thinks the saxophone should be held whilst adopting a kneeling position.
Jesus, Guido……you’re scraping the barrel with those photos,aren’t you?
Fuckin’ ‘ell….I’ve got more provocative pictures in my 1950′s Rupert Bear Annuals!!!
No fuckin’ comments…anyone!
Love you long time!
*thinks – Shit – better move mine somewhere else*
That is just a taster for starters. We have still photos and movies, twosomes, threesomes, even the dog was involved. After all I followed him for eight years.
What we are really waiting for are the pictures from Russia and Rumania. (Handycock in action with girls as young as 14). No wonder the Russians have a hold on him.
You can be fucking sure of that. They’ll have the book, the DVD and the TV rights to all of his shenanigans this side of the Curtain.
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Weasel – wasted 8 seconds there
I got a topless pic of La Mensch on mine. Boring.
Plus ca change…you’re still a c unt!
It looks a Fools and horses still.
del boy and cassandra
It certainly does. I hope Guido didn’t part with real wonga for these stills from fools and horses.
I see not a penny has been spared on state of the art surveillance kit Nice to see a true professional at work, ex MI6 by any chance?
MFI, I think.
That would explain why the lens keeps falling off the camera, thanks!
We need to maintain our margins.
…dreaming of the motherload, more like.
They say Russian women have a heart of stone, wrapped in barbed wire. If this bint really had any genuine affection for this grey, hairy oaf then I’m a Bolshevik.
Kin’ell Guido mate you must be as desperate for a knock as Handycock.
Spotty watch more like….
Poor girl prollky downing as many sherbets as poss before the lardy old perv jumps her bones.
The properties tab identifies these photographs as Spy1 and Spy2. So it must be true.
How come Guido has succeeded where MI6 failed?
He he can afford a mobile phone with a camera?
Odious little bastard is our MP. Sadly he is well liked by most locals,says a lot doesn’t it for Portsmouth South. Me thinks it’s time to move. Oddly emough the local rag rarely prints anything negative about this creep, might be because LibDem council pays them hundreds of thousands of pounds a year in advertising and such. More often than not the comments feature on their website moderates all negative remarks made about this slimeball.
The Portsmouth News is a great Newspaper. It must be, it prints everything I tell it to and nothing that criticises me. If it didn’t, I personally would put a stop to the £750,000 a year Portsmouth City Council pays it for advertising. Jahbulon.
Robert Mugabe. Keep it up boys, especially in planning, with Handy’s boys, the ‘Portsmouth Businessmen.’ I am proud of you all, we have a lot to learn from you here in Harare. Could Councillor Handycock MP, come over and give us some advice. Plenty of young girls will be made available of course.
An inquiry into this type of back scratching would be more beneficial rather than the press phone fest hacking circus currently on offer.
Never happen.
Never happen
Yes stuart – just remember the outcry about the ‘Duck House’ and campaign run by the NEWS against Peter Viggers MP – and he didn’t even get the money. Very strange that the NEWS has said nothing at all about the appalling behaviour of our own ‘Honourable Member’. They must know which side their bread is buttered – and very wary of direct retribution from Handy’s boys.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/russia-retaliates-against-us-puts-radar-station-combat-alert-prepares-take-out-european-missile
I say again…Four minutes to midnight!
Russia Retaliates Against US: Puts Radar Station On Combat Alert, Prepares To Take Out European Miss
http://www.zerohedge.com
Earlier today, we presented the latest developments in the escalating possibility of an imminent air (and potentially land) campaign targeting Syria by the “western world”, a move that would infuriate not only Iran, but also Russia and China, both of which have made it clear they would not sit idly
All I can say is that Ekaterina Zatuliveter must really blove her motherland to put up with shagging that beardy perv. She deserves a state Dacha, a pension and a medal.
Activate the stat bot!!!
So if you have any unwelcome batteries….. send ‘em to Coventry!
Coventry has a real buzz about it, these days.
Could be that a large proportion of men in Coventry own vibrators. This might skew the figures slightly.
The Telegraph should send Bryony to Coventry, she might like it there.
How come they didn’t spot you Guido, did you go in disguise?
Ok, where is the Russian naval attache in all this.
Oh ell CUP 36
here….
He had very small cockski.
Gimme a chance, prince. I kno I can mak u happy
I can’t attend Leveson. I’m busy.
Larry King says you’re shit!
With Larry King, an expression involving “bum”, “both hands”, and a “road map” immediately springs to mind.
Tut!
What cynics you all are.
Romeo and Juliet had nothing on these two.
In any case, who needs spies? With Dave in charge of borders and defence, they could sneak the entire Chinese army in on hooky student visas without a cross word being spoken.
Give it a few days and I’m sure Sally’s views will be in print somewhere – for a fee, of course.
Since when have beard trimmers been classed as sex toys?
Gordon gave me a beard trimmer for a sex toy.
I still own a pair of Duo-Balls®, dear but I usually vote for The Whigs.
Lucky girl – did she put rohypnol in his drink to bag such a trophy?
Oh FFS it’s just a pic of a bird and a bloke chatting over a libation. Happens all the time, especially once they find out I’m an MP, which is all a sorry sack o’ shite like me has going for him. I thought you had the goods on me this time, Guido. Boaz.
I have a vague suspicion that I’m going to regret asking this, but what the hell is a ‘Boaz’?
It’s a Freemason term. Someone’s obsessed with the notion that Handy’s a Freemason. For a supposedly all powerful and sinister group, it’s strange we know so much about his deeds and is getting routinely mocked for them.
Thanks.
I’ve never really regarded the Freemasons as particularly sinister. The ones I know are all thoroughly decent blokes.
That’s what they want you to think.
In reality many of them are vampires.
You’ve never seen them when they turn into Rothschild lizards, then? It really is amazing what some people are prepared to believe, isn’t it?
I don’t think that they’re the force they were but 25 years ago I worked for a large organisation at the start of my career and it was only after the local evening rag printed the names of prominent local masons was I able to understand how the office operated.
My old dad told me never to join them (and I never did).
Most vampires are thoroughly decent blokes. I’m a sucker for them, myself.
It is one of our secret words of recognition for the secret handshake of an Enetered Apprentice. ‘Jahbulon’ is one of our secret words for the Supreme Being, the Great Architect of the Universe, never to be spoken. Hiram Abiff is the ‘widow’s son’ who was the Architect of King Solomon’s Temple . Brother Handycock is one of our members. Boaz.
And Boaz is one of the two pillars of the Temple — the other one is Jachin. According to the Freemasons, the pillars were hollow and filled with texts giving the secret of absolutely everything.
Many people in the public eye, join the Freemasons for protection, Judges, Politicians etc. Normally they have sexual pervrsions. there is nothing we can do to stop this, because we do not know about it. Just google ‘Masonic Paedophiles’ to see what we are up against. The remainder are generally decent citizens who are just trying to get an edge in life or business, through membership. The word Boaz is both the word for a secret handshake and the left hand pillar at the entrance to King Solomon’s Temple. Jahbulon.
In my day I’d'a ‘ad the goods on ya, ya bleedin’ perv spy, but for a nominal consideration, of course, me an’ me bruvva Reg coulda sorted out Guido for ya, if ya catch me drift, Guv.
Looks like I am going to have to perv over young, vulnerable women with mental impairments.
I’m already taken.
I thought you were chosen?
Not by me, that’s for sure!
But what if she is a double agent and is spying on Hancock for the British?
Don’t forget Chris Huhne’s on Question Time tonight.
I wonder if he’ll be arrested mid-sentence. That would make things slightly more interesting.
Mid-sentence? That would be 2.5 years in the future, surely!!
He speaks , but says NOTHING…
Love is divine
But Liqour
Is Quicker
I’m available for speeches.
The facet foundation say can you manage next week?
They’ll be half cut by then.
Applause!
My wife BK Flaming is appearing at the Levy in her Chevy enquiry. She is minted after the success of her adult humour books entitled ‘Beyond the Crash; Overcoming the first crisis of Potter’
Please don’t ever call her sexy again. She is butt ugly. Biblically ugly. She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch etc.
Sexy spy = Anna Chapman
Ugly stuff that nightmares are made of = Katia Zatuliveter
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2065642/Bad-day-office-Former-worker-hurls-desks-chairs-computers-150ft-firms-high-rise-building.html
Was gordon in Bristol?
He didn’t realise his Nokia was plugged into the PC when he threw it
Cameron is still a traitor.
So his assistant is an Azerbaijan/Russian agent. What a mucky part of the world SHE comes from. Lord Simon of Highbury admitted after the Azerbaijar oil war against Armenia, that his executives had been financing the war behind his back. At the time he was chairman of BP – he left to become a Labour bigwig. Under Blair’s premiership BP was always swapping senior staff with No 10. And BP is now very big in Iraq – with Libya soon to follow.