November 22nd, 2011

Up Close and Personnel

Which mid-market tabloid editor recently sat down with his whispering broadsheet rival and made it clear that unless the latter’s attacks on his paper were toned down, the broadsheet editor would soon be seeing the fact that he keeps his mistress on his staff in the pages of the said tabloid?

The circular firing squad is getting personal…


  1. 1
    Fake Bowden says:

    Grab the popcorn :-)

  2. 2
    Shire Tory says:


  3. 3
    Tahrir Square says:

    I couldn’t give a Thomas Cook. Get a job, you fat c’unt.

  4. 4
    Shire Tory says:

    Second :-(

  5. 5
  6. 6
    Dick the Prick says:

    After only 1 day too! Best not exclusively munch popcorn.

  7. 7
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Isn’t “mid-market tabloid” an oxymoron?

  8. 8
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    The Graudian a rival to the Mail. They are after very diffrent target markets surely?

  9. 9
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    At lest try to say something interesting

  10. 10
    Hedley Lamarr says:

    Don’t know. Are you going to tell us?

  11. 11
  12. 12
    Steve Miliband says:

    Is that Polly keeps her job then?

  13. 13
    AC1 says:

    Still very similar people just different false faiths Gruaniad loves CAGW, Wail loves Falls in house affordability (although the grauniad seems to love this one too).

  14. 14
    Modulus says:

    We demand answers or should we start a petition?

  15. 15
    Engineer says:

    It’s a posh way of saying, “Not quite as bad as the rest”.

  16. 16
    screw the lot of them says:

    They’re all utter c’unts.

  17. 17
    Titford Hat says:

    Polly is a three-bagger. Don’t want the dog to get a shock.

  18. 18
    Billy Bowden is the biggest cunt ever ! says:

    I’m a complete moron.

  19. 19
    Dave's huge bazooka says:

    Isn’t it fantastic that the sub-human morons in Britain, the US, France and Italy allow us to bomb Libya back to the stone age, steal their $200bn+ gold reserves, put an end to the gold-backed African dinar, which threatened Ponzi central banks everywhere, plunder its oil and water acquifer reserves, all under the banner of “humanitarian intervention” and getting rid of a genocidal dictator, but allow us to support the continuation of Saudi Arabia, Bahrain – invaded by Saudi troops – and now the murderous dictatorship of the regime in Egypt, against the mass of the Egyptian people, and there is no call for sanctions, ” humanitarian interventions”, no-fly zones, or in actuality, carpet bombing of civilians, like Libya, all because Egypt, Saudi et al’s regimes kiss Izzy’s c ock!?

    Fucking wonderful this mass media owned by the few thing, no!?

  20. 20
    B Boyd says:

    We might not cover this.

  21. 21
    Engineer says:

    You’d have to have serious psychological flaws to want to keep Polly as a mistress.

  22. 22
    B Boyd says:

    I’m a complete ox.

  23. 23
  24. 24
    Penfold says:

    Names please, expose them, we need to be told, public interest definitely at heart here, flay the hypocrits.

    Resignations all round, hooray.

    Oh, and yes, tell HMRC, should be some loot innit for them.

  25. 25
    Fake Bowden says:

    Fake – beware – I will be tweetering about this if it continues

  26. 26
    C Huhne says:

    You’ll be saying Angela Eagle’s a three bagger next and she’s gorgeous.

  27. 27
    Shite Rory says:

    I know this site can be puerile, but even the 12 year olds on computer game sites have grown out of doing this.

  28. 28
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Michael Dugher MP on the Daily Politics. Whay a sly bastard.

  29. 29
    Antipo-dean says:

    Come on, Guido. You publish single-source stories, you told the CMS select committee so only a week ago. Out with it.

  30. 30
    Engineer says:

    She’s not fast enough for you, Chris.

  31. 31
    Ed Balls says:

    “I cry at Top Gear, you know, when someone does a fast lap and they say ‘it means more than money’. Incredibly emotional”.

  32. 32
    ADHD Anonymous says:

    Fuck you!

  33. 33
    Ewanme says:

    Hmmm .

    Ain’t newspaper a oxymoron , petal ???

    E x .

  34. 34
    I don't need no doctor says:

    I’ve cracked it. Use vile language and get posted – no moderation. Fucking great! Bollocks!

  35. 35
    Billy Blowhard says:

    You know the refund policy!

  36. 36
    I don't need no doctor says:

    It’s amazing how MPs berate high salaried executives yet can’t wait to get a bank job when they leave parliament. Ask labour.

  37. 37
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Oh Ed your so not human.

  38. 38
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m incomplete

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    She may well do as you say, but the DT doesn’t really have a go at the Mail, does it? Much more likely to be the Grauniad?

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    Oh – where did it go??

  41. 41
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Judging by her beer-gut, she spends her lunchtimes in the pub.

  42. 42
    I don't need no doctor says:

    You pair should get together and become a stupid cow.

  43. 43
    Hava Nagila says:

    Are you retarded?

  44. 44
    Tessa Tickles says:

    - reply to a modded comment about a certain female journalist.

  45. 45
    Ewanme says:

    OMG !!!

    I ain’t , darlin !!

    I jus knows Billy Botty is always gonna be first so doesn’t try too hard .

    I thinks it’s great an very very funny .

    E x .

  46. 46
    Dud says:

    …. and the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. ‘Twas ever thus.

  47. 47
    Ewanme says:

    Maybe , baby .

    Yous ??

    E x .

  48. 48
    Anon says:

    Tweetering? Billy, Billy , Billy! Even the fakes appear genuine these days

  49. 49
    I don't need no doctor says:

    beer gut and beard.

  50. 50
    ex-Tory says:

    One sells 2m copies and the other sells only 200k, mostly to hypocritical, pretentious c*nts.

  51. 51
    Anon says:

    Honest Gov , I was supporting the genuine article despite the nom de plume

  52. 52
    BBC Radio 4 Toady Programme says:

    Economic colossus – we weep ever time you have to leave Broadcasting House to fight those evil baby eating Lib Dem traitors and Tories.

    Come back soon Ed, we treasure your friendship and guidance.

  53. 53
    Polly is Not Totty says:

    I see it has got a Totty watch Tag so it can’t be Polly

    I google of “Guardian Totty” comes up with Rowenna Davis but she is writing about Totty, she does specialise in social affais though.

  54. 54
    Ewanme says:

    LMAO !!!

    That would explain why she woz always turnin down my offers of some girl-on-girly action , babe .

    She didn’t wanna jeopardise her position , FFS .

    E x .

  55. 55
    Dobby says:

    And Jeremy Clarkson is such a great broadcaster. He often makes me cry (or to be honest throw stuff at the telly).

  56. 56
    Dobby says:

    Don’t you mean Dave?

  57. 57
    Tessa Tickles says:

    The name was mentioned here, briefly, but it got pulled. So I think we know who it is.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Her column describes her as a ‘single girl about town’?

  59. 59
    Selohesra says:

    I see Express has Diana story on front page

  60. 60
    Lord Prescott of Slowlap says:

    Not me then?

  61. 61
    Julie Andrews says:

    Whiskers on kittens.

  62. 62
  63. 63
    Durr... says:

    Are you frum Tyneside pet?

  64. 64
    Steve Miliband says:

    She spilt a french cheese over Gordon’s knee?

  65. 65
    Durr... says:

    I once wrote that Tweza May was on the b l o b when she fired Clark, it never appeared.

  66. 66
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Do you take me for the kind of woman who’d read her articles? In fact, I don’t read the Wailygraph any more – mainly because they print crap like “single girl about town”.

  67. 67
    Tessa Tickles says:

    It was a reasonable deduction.

  68. 68
    Durr... says:

    I once wrote that Tweza May was on the b o l b when she fired Clark, it never appeared.

    (it’s been moderated again!)

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    I bin mod’d twice now

  70. 70
    Uncle Monty says:

    That’s why she’s called the 3 am girl

  71. 71
    Eric Pickles says:

    I love you John. You are so like me…but different somehow.

  72. 72
    Ewanme says:

    Oooo !!!

    Kind words , SC , sweetheart x . I knows I gets a bit much sometimes .

    I’s surprised that some of those rags even has a opinion on Ewa seein as I nevr visit their shitty sites , babe .

    I won’t let ya down , darlin an I would DEFFO never wanna make anyone look stupid . Folks usually does that for themselves .

    Love E xx .

  73. 73

    My first is in Gordon but not in Brown …

  74. 74
    Anon says:

    Are we/ you discussing Anne W*ddec*mbe on this thread?

    Well I never

  75. 75
    Ewanme says:

    Hiya , Tessa x .

    She’s bin a naughty mistress for a long time , then , ain’t she ???

    We kinda had our suspicions like 3 an more years ago , hun .

    Some marriages doesn’t last that long , does they ??

    E x .

  76. 76
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Don’t say anything too rabble-rousing, or even just a little naughty, otherwise Mongo Mensch will have you prosecuted.

    How very Tory…….LOL.

    Careful now Guido, “The Tory Neo Con Internet Police” are on the march !!!!!!

  77. 77
    Selohesra says:

    I’ve given up on it too – got fed up with holier than thou attitude to NotW. I do miss the crossword though

  78. 78
    Selohesra says:

    Thought that was euphomism for some deviant practice but penny just dropped

  79. 79
    Neo-Guido says:

    This story is not a re-run recent private eye allegations.

    Try harder.

  80. 80
    The Coach and Horses says:

    Always assumed all newspaper editors had their current whore on the staff? What with packing these places with their mates, family and shag buddies it’s no wonder they sell less and less. They just speak to the same people all the time whilst being owned by a bunch of wealthy weirdos. Take notice of them at your peril.

  81. 81
    Engineer says:

    The mistress is ‘on the staff’ of the broadsheet. That does not necessarily mean that the mistress is a journalist.

    Anybody who has ever worked in a large organisation knows full well that senior staff and directors always keep the best totty as P.A.s, secretaries, etc. The best totty has always known how to ‘advance the career’.

    There is an old Naval toast, oft used in the Officers’ Mess, “To our wives and sweethearts; may they never meet.”

  82. 82
    Fake Bowden says:

    Just watching, i aint got a scooby doo.


  83. 83
    Ewanme says:

    Hiya , Anon , honey xx .

    I ain’t saying no more . If Ewa knows who the fuck it is , the whole world must do too .

    Dunno why Guido posted this if he woz sooo shit scared of the unmentionable name bein mentioned , FFS .

    Ewa first got wind in the comments under one of her own stories over 3 years ago .

    Hardly a secret then , is it ???

    As usual E x .

  84. 84
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Why watch if you do not have to?
    The BBC only force you to pay for it under threat of fine or imprisonment, not watch it.

  85. 85
    Uncle Monty says:

    Apparently it isn’t Ms Gordon

  86. 86

    Has u got a massive squint an bird shit in ur hair , SC ??

    No .

    But I can put some in , if it helps ??


    SC x .

  87. 87
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Thanks for the info SC. I have always found Ewanme funny and enjoyed her winding people up.

  88. 88
    Loungelizard says:


  89. 89

    Likewise @ 12.40 and 12.55

  90. 90
    annette curton says:


  91. 91
    Accidental Rapist says:

    Ewanme is actually a 20 stone trucker who jerks off while pretending to be a black bird

  92. 92
    Really? says:

    Surely there’s opportunity for Sandii to slip in a sly dig on the News Quiz?

  93. 93
    What a scoop! says:

    I love that Princess Diana has made a return to the Express front page for the first time in 5 minutes. Today’s story is “Russell Grant says his friend Princess Diana was murdered”.

  94. 94
    anon says:

    Newspapers are there to fudge facts and muddy the waters, usually on behalf of circulation interests.Dressed up as truth,the real story is hidden in whats not reported.So is this particular blog worth your effort.It appears to support that Murdoch muck raking is of a better class than the Mirror/Mail/Guardian.

  95. 95
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Did I just hear Gary O’Donohue play a blinder for Liebour saying that they depended on funding from the Unions of 25% of their income!

  96. 96
    Tony Blair says:

    Carole gives me a hand shandy every morning. Cherie cries but a £50 note always cheers her up.

  97. 97
    cowboy gynaecologist says:

    Where did the trucker rumour start? I always thought she/he was a pre-op transsexual.

  98. 98
    Gordon Brown says:

    I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Or any woman.

  99. 99
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Jobs for the girl(friend)s.

    Nepotism only kin deep in the MSM.

  100. 100
    anon says:

    Nothing like a bit of press blackmail .Call it a D notice.

  101. 101
    annette curton says:

    I have got to the stage when I must admit I’m not that interested any more, because I have now taken the default position (pragmatic) that they are all thieves, liars and scum bags unless and until they can prove otherwise.

  102. 102
    Unhappy as Larry says:

  103. 103
    Ed Balls says:


  104. 104
    unbiased view says:

    What a dopey cuпt you are Dobby, he’s one of the BBC’s best revenue schemes, ie popular. Little wonder socialists are shite at economics.

  105. 105
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Post of the Day!!

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Win one for the Gipper!

  107. 107
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    ~sigh~ in reply to #21

  108. 108
    legal alien says:

    brogen is not the editor either, just an assistant or deputy.

    So who is big Al discusing uganda with?

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Toxic turd found on radioactive beach. Efforts to remove Gordon Brown have so far failed.

  110. 110
    NOTW Hack says:

    We know.

  111. 111
    Doggie Fashion says:

    Are we talking boradsheet here or, as they call it, midi? To the best of my knowledge there is only one daily broadsheet left or are we including Sundays?

  112. 112
    Border control dickwad says:

    Another Labour bandwagon loses a wheel. Fuck you milliband and all you Labour cnuts

    @glenoglazaSky: Home office PermSec Helen Ghosh has told Home Affiars Cte: May sent email to Brodie Clark EXPLICITLY warning him NOT to exceed instructions

    @glenoglazaSky: HO Perm Sec sticks boot into Brodie Clark: Ministers relied on his detailed weekely reports in which he never mentioned the issue #borders

  113. 113
    Please expain your oft quoted platitude says:

    Poorer compared to whom ? Are you saying the “poor” of today have a worse standard of living than the “poor” of 30 years ago, 20 years, 10years ?

  114. 114
    The BBC's unofficial spokesperson says:

    We have contracted Jeremy Hardy in a 6 part series to investigate this and give it the treatment it deserves.
    For balance, Marke Steele’s series starts shortly after.

    Thank you for your money.

  115. 115
    To be Fair says:

    To be fair Grants prophesy is spot on even down to the fine details , it would have been better though and even more impressive if he had made it known before the event and not 14 years after.

  116. 116
    Tax Payer says:

    “May sent email to Brodie Clark EXPLICITLY warning him NOT to exceed instructions”

    Come on – May would certainly have mentioned this when it all blew up. What’s going on?

  117. 117
    Rule of thumb says:

    I think its fair to assume as a rule of thumb that Parliament is institutionaly corrupt.

  118. 118
    Gordon F Brown says:

    Just leave me here…

  119. 119
    annette curton says:

    I think it is about time you seriously tried to influence policy in No.10, OK, the rat pogrom has been a complete failure on your part but at the next cabinet re-shuffle maybe the job as home secretary or energy and climate minister could be a possibility.

  120. 120
    Biased Broadcasting Corp. says:


  121. 121
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    +1 Sc & Jabba. Ewa is up there with the best of em..!

  122. 122
    Maximus says:

    He means the Lorenz curve of wealth distribution gets saggier. Now stop being berk.

  123. 123
    Maximus says:

    I think the officers have a different meaning in mind.

  124. 124
    Thoroughly modded Millie says:

    Try smothering everything in soy sauce. I’ve told it works wonders for unsightly marks .

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Never forget that Reagan ducked WW2 service (got classified for non-active duty based on eyesight) and then bowed the knee to Joe McCarthy. I never thought I would say it but thank God for the US Army who cut old Joes ball off. Reagan was a disgrace regardless of his politics.

  126. 126
  127. 127
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    It isn’t me. I don’t work for a Broadsheet. In any case I pay for my mistresses on my MP’s expenses and a few backhanders from Governments in Eastern Europe.

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    Look forward to hearing all about it on the BBC news later….

  129. 129
    Some Geezer wot has an opinion about Ministers says:

    Then Larry could join Moe and Curly.

  130. 130
    fucky nell says:

    podgy bird? big tits? nothing between her ears?

  131. 131
    fucky nell says:

    safest place for your thumb is up your arse

  132. 132
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    I’d have thought it was the Mail and Torygraph but don’t know who edits either of them.

  133. 133
    Libyan School of Economics Professor says:

    Hey Saif, how are you? How did you get access to the Internet?

  134. 134
    yeah, right.. says:

    Not really. Both pander to a particular form of blind prejudice.

    As the sainted George would say, two cheeks of the same arse.

  135. 135
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Come on Nell, narrow it down a bit. Hair colour, eye colour, distinguishing marks, tattoos. There mus be something less common about her.

  136. 136
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    On behalf of my client Mr Mark Thomas I must protest at this act of scandalum magnatum on the part of the BBC and insist that he have a series too, as he’s just as much of a commie as either of these two. I shall also insist that my account in the quantum of £20,000 be settled by return as usual. Ta.

  137. 137
    Speaker's Wife. says:

    Are you talking about me again.

  138. 138
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Fantastic laugh, thank you pet.

  139. 139
    Princess XXX says:

    You didn’t pay me much, just a teddy bear and dinner in the House of Commons and waved your willy at me in my house, when my son was upstairs. Pervert.

  140. 140
    wondering says:

    I’m guessing the Tabloid is the daily mail and the broadsheet is the guardian now I wonder who the mistress is

  141. 141
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier says:

    Moussa Kun ter….your student vi sa sponsored by Bliar for LSE has been revoked.

    Interpol have been informerd you thick mong….


  142. 142
    I Got Bored Of Having A Hundred Monikers.... says:

    Who gives a fuck? Not like Obama or Clinton have been on the front lines either.

  143. 143
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    You should know by now Really? that it is an editorial rule that the News Quiz should, every week, carry at least two derogatory references to:

    The Daily Mail
    Conservatives (Or ‘Tories’ as they must be called)
    The Royal family
    People who do not live in built up urban areas
    Old people
    Conservative back benchers
    Duchy Originals
    Public school “Toffs” (But obviously excluding public school toffs called Toynbee, Benn, Williams, Monbiot etc and alumni from Holland Park “Comprehensive”)

  144. 144
    Ed Balls says:

    I cry at the Antiques Roadshow. You know the bit where some old lady comes in and says “How much is this family heirloom worth? I’ve got to sell it because those thieving cnuts in the Labour Party raided my pension to throw money at the NHS without fixing its problems in the first place.”

  145. 145
    Budgie says:

    Reagan along with Thatcher were the politicians primarily responsible for bringing the wall down, and keeping it down. The subsequent revelations about the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics workers’ paradise and about communist traitors in the USA proved McCarthy to be generally correct. And Reagan was a hero regardless of his politics.

  146. 146
    Strolling Bones says:

    I just googled the quote from comment #59,and that turned out to be very enlightening – helped by the 12.40 confirmation above

  147. 147
    Strolling Bones says:

    Should be no surprise that there’s a lot of inter-office shagging going on in all walks of life. This helpful article explains some of the reasons why….

  148. 148
    Strolling Bones says:

    or even “below”…

  149. 149
    Strolling Bones says:

    WELL worth a read for anyone still wondering who the naughty mistress might be….

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