November 15th, 2011

David Didn’t Get the Euro Memo

David Miliband doesn’t “know whether to weep or laugh” about the Eurocrisis. He’s taken to the pages of the FT to carefully place a hand grenade under yesterday’s attempts by Ed to rebalance Labour’s position on the EU, bringing it slightly closer to sceptic public opinion. Dougie Alexander got all “realistic” in his speech and the bloggers were dispatched to re-write history; with the most brazen attempt being LabourList’s “Did we even care about Europe ever really anyway?” And then it all started going wrong…

There was Lord Mandelson on Newsnight refusing to rule out ever joining, as well as refusing to apologise for declaring the Euro a wonderful sustainable success, just two years ago. And now in this morning’s FT Brother Miliband twists the knife. Apparently negotiating powers is  “deluded and dangerous” and the real key issue is the fact that “President van Rompuy is up for re-election in June.” Hardly in tune with the line his brother signed off yesterday for Wee Dougie:

“…any treaty change sought by Germany in response to the euro crisis as a legitimate occasion to look at the balance of powers between Europe and nation states.”

It turns out the most prominent figures in Labour do still care about Europe. Deeply…


  1. 1
    from spain says:

    were are next.

  2. 2
    BillyBob... says:

    Labour not sure……..again !

  3. 3
    Rewind1616 says:


  4. 4
    Steve Miliband says:

    They all want to be President

  5. 5
    Mike Litorus says:

    Well, they are all Hunts, so it figures…

  6. 6
    from spain says:

    Waited years to be first and then fucked it.
    We are next.

  7. 7
    Raving Loon says:

    How long will it be before Lord Mandelson is appointed ruler of the UK by the EU?

  8. 8
    Doktorb says:

    Labour’s automatic reaction is “Quick, rewrite history, nobody remembers anything anyway!”. The frantic peddling on Europe is brilliantly chaotic – the more Dave M is around as Blair’s representative on Earth, the less Ed can do to look like much of a credible leader [and he’s ain’t doing much of a job at that as it is]

  9. 9
    BillyBob... says:

    Then France? reminds of why the French roads are lined with poplar trees……so the German army can march in the shade, perhaps :)

  10. 10
    Josiah Bartlett says:

    You’d think Van Rumpy was being re-elected by the people.

    On the election front, I see Spain are having one this weekend. I assume they must have official permission to hold one from Herman, Angela and Little Nicky?

  11. 11

    Fecking EU fifth columnists the lot of ‘em!

  12. 12
    Steve Miliband says:

    More Flip Flops than a Spanish beach

  13. 13
    Widescreen2010 says:

    So it looks like it is just me left, then.
    Let’s join the Euro!
    I’m fed up with carrying two currencies (plus occaisional odd-ball ones).
    Mightily relieved it isn’t more (Francs, Marks and Guilders).
    Let’s drop the Pound, it is just a pain in the arse.

    Who’s with me?

  14. 14

    Shirley, he should be queen?

  15. 15
    The lights are going out all over Europe...but one things sure this lot couldn't light a match... says:

    I not even faintly surprised at Ed’s response…Labour under .the present leadership is all about opportunism and populism and like most things they see a bandwagon and jump on it…they would do better to actually have some credible/realistic policies on the defict and growth and until they actually acknowledge their respectiove parts in creating the majority of the financial mess within the country which exacerbated our present economic malaise and also admit that they too would be cuttting jobs and services in the public sector nobody should even contemplate voting for them…..the Coalition is far from perfect but I thank our lucky stars that we are not being governed by labout as if we were the situation would be very much worse on par with Greece/Italy and Spain etc all rolled into one…..there is a vacuum at the centre of UK politics and no there is no one in government or Parliament who one can even perceive as a leader in this crisis but then again let’s face it there is no-one in Europe or the States who you could actually say has shown ANY leadership over the economic crisis either

  16. 16

    Mañana es para siempre.

  17. 17
    Alice in Wonderland says:

    TweedleEd and TweedleDave
    Ran away and pretended to be brave
    The Lion & the Unicorn couldn’t even save
    The many people that Labour had paid

    TweedleEd smirked like the Cheshire Cat,
    So TweedleDave said enough of that
    To criticise the EUSSR is a terrible sin
    But who can expect the truth from the Bruvvers Grim?

  18. 18

    More tits than in Shagaluf.

  19. 19
    Now there's no lights on the christmas tree mother says:

    These disgusting creatures called politicians will go whatever way to get what they want!

  20. 20
    crystal ball says:

    Labour to rip itself to pieces over Europe?

  21. 21
    BillyBob... says:

    Being absolutely clear about it….. blah blah blah blah and more lies.

  22. 22
    Nick Cleggo says:

    Me. I want to be El Presidento one day. Way above my payscale, but no one looks down a camera better than me. Senorita C would be awfully pleased with me for once

  23. 23
    Loungelizard says:

    Would Cameron be so keen on the EU if Gordon managed to swing the Presidency? End of the EU two months max.

  24. 24

    Moot point whether, over the long or mid term, whether UK joining the Euro and bringing it’s X* trillion of debt with it would assist it or cause it to sink even faster.

    * Insert any integer between 1 and 9, according to taste and dogma.

  25. 25
    The voice of unreason says:

    You know he doesn’t called to be called Shirley in public.

  26. 26
    Hang The Bastards says:

    ED the Tvvat Milliband has realised that all he has to do is offer the British Public a referendum, say they got it wrong and he will be in power for ever.!

  27. 27
    Gordon F Brown says:

    I will not be making a statement on this topic in the house because I don’t actually go there to represent my constituents. Nobody seems to mind…

  28. 28

    Are you attributing this unprecedented French prescience to intelligent design as it would have taken many years for those trees to be ready for their intended purpose.

  29. 29
    Ambrose Evans-Cockhard says:

    Give us all your fucking gold, you filthy Nazis!

    that ok, mr roths child?

  30. 30
    Gordon F Brown says:

    I don’t go to Westminster let alone Brussels.

    Could I be President in exile? I need the money because my books don’t sell…

  31. 31
    Steve Miliband says:

    Imagine Gordon Brown, worst PM ever, being President! It would be worth it, just for the comedy value and would absolutely guarantee EU meltdown

  32. 32
    Edward Miliband says:

    My elder brother and Lord Mandelson are no longer prominent figures in my party. They are yesterday’s men.

  33. 33
    genghiz the kahn says:

    My elder brother and Lord Mandelson are no longer prominent figures in my party. They are yesterday’s men….

    waiting for the call from Brussels to act as regional commissars for the EU’s Northern Channel Provinces of Anglialand, Welshland, Scotchland and Nireland.

  34. 34
    Theresa May says:

    If you wish to enter the UK with no papers and unchecked luggage hire a private jet. It’s only the little people who present a threat.

  35. 35
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Ah, but the French are now cutting the poplar trees down, much to the annoyance of the Dutch and English who have retired to France.

    The official explanation is “Health and Safety” (French drunk-drivers keep crashing into them), but I suspect the real reason is to make things tricky for the invading Wehrmacht. Unless Merkel’s Nazis bring suncream.

  36. 36
    genghiz the kahn says:

    I pwomise a weferendum on theith Euwopean Union ovew my dead bodyth.

  37. 37
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Hear the words of Peter Mandelson, a friend to certain bankers…..

  38. 38
    Sophie says:

    Lab / Con / Lib Dems – all agree on the destination within the EU for Great Britain – they merely disagree on the route to serfdom for the British citizens & taxzpayers.

    Cameron is waking up to UKIP much too late – his Heathite Euro fanaticism is as deeply felt as Cleggs. Miliband would do anything to be a player in the EUSSR – his commie father would be so proud.

    Vote UKIP.

  39. 39
    Fabians are Evil. says:

    Fuck Labour, Fuck the EU, and Fuck Gordon bloody Brown and his bunch of cretinous scum along with Blairs babes and the whole of the rancid socialist creeps who infest the unions and Labour.

  40. 40
    Loungelizard says:

    Think he’d get a block vote from UKIP?

  41. 41
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    I will only believe Liebore are seriously Eurosceptic when they elect Frank Field and Kate Hoey as leader and deputy leader and purge the party of Europhile scum.

    Until then Liebore can fuck off and die along with the traitorous Fibdems.

  42. 42
    Up sh1t creek says:

    The Euro-lovers didn’t like some home truths that Nigel Farage volleyed at them about the falling apart Euro currency and European project.

  43. 43
    Derek Draper says:

    Debt is not a problem.

  44. 44
    Cynic says:

    I want von Rumpey Pumpy’s job and under European Equality Legislation I must have aright to apply or my Human Rights will also have been broken.

  45. 45
    Dionne Warwick says:

    Walk on by.

  46. 46
    retardEd Miliband says:

    I trutht I can rely on your vote at the next electthion?

  47. 47
    Ho ho ho says:

    Cameron told a joke last night. Called himself a Euro sceptic.

  48. 48
    Theresa May's P45 says:

    If you wish to enter the UK with nothing other than a desire to kill as many people as possible, just show up. The door’s open, on the express orders of Theresa “let the little people eat lead” May.

  49. 49
    ex-Tory says:

    David Miliband was the political elite’s choice. Ed only stood as leader to split the hard socialist vote. The fact he ended up winning was not part of the plan. He will be gone by the next election to be replaced by his brother or some other chosen placeman.

  50. 50
    Thick as pig shit voter from Cowdenbeath says:

    I FUCKIN MIND………..

  51. 51
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Come one, come millions !!!!

  52. 52
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Generals January and February will do for them just like they did for Napolean and Hitler.

  53. 53
    puppet Dave says:

    My fellow benders,

    the UK’s woes are entirely the fault of the N_azi Eurozone, as can be seen from the Krauts’ pitiful growth rate of 2.5% over the last year compared to Bankers Citadel’s, sorry, UK’s, dynamic 0.5% growth rate, entirely down to the super-intelligent bankers, doing G_d’s work!

  54. 54
    albacore says:

    Look not upon Labour, for ’tis red
    (So’s Clegg and Camo. They’re all in bed)
    Being the Parliament ain’t that hard
    They’ve got this magic gold credit card
    For money solves all the country’s ills
    Be it law, defence or paying bills
    There’s nowt at all that money can’t fix
    They chuck away more until it sticks
    They’re happy chaps. They haven’t a care
    Let the poor, dumb taxpayer despair

  55. 55
    Jabba the Cat says:

    That’s one of those jokes where the audience laugh at the teller and not with him…

  56. 56
    Pablo Escobar says:

    How on earth do you think one gets the drugs and the guns in, on Ryanair?

  57. 57
    Tessa Tickles says:

    You can always trust Labour on Europe.

    “It [the EU constitution] is a good treaty for Britain and for the new Europe. We will put it to the British people in a referendum.” – Labour 2005 election manifesto, page 84.

  58. 58
    Alf Garnett says:

    If the hideous twosome of “Fyffe” Miliband and “Rear Entry” Mandelson opine that something is good, true or worthwhile, then all honest and sensible people should take immediate steps to assume the opposite.

    What a pair of charlatans.

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    “And then it all started going wrong…”

    Why would you think that?

    Being opposed by the cυnts you mention should be seen as good news for Ed.

  60. 60
    anon says:

    Perhaps plans are afoot for a future cinema blockbuster to promote Labour’s caring image and rival the recent Thatcher film?

    “All the precedents meant” coming to your screens soon.

  61. 61
    Tessa Tickles says:

    That’s a very interesting hypothesis, and I think it’s right.

    But my money’s on Yvette Balls Cooper becoming leader.

  62. 62
    Arthur Bent says:

    Do not forget that Mandelson will lose his EU pension if he criticizes the EU.

  63. 63
    Loungelizard says:

    I’m sure you’re right. Ed’s the fall guy, part of the sanitation program. Take the flack for the past thirteen years then flush him.

  64. 64
    observer says:


  65. 65
    Nothing became him as his manner in defeat says:

    Quite right Gordon…Parliament is a vastly over-rated talking shop….far better to stay North of the Border in a splendid sulk doing vast reputational damage to yourself in the process…

  66. 66
    A Proctologist says:

    I had that Mandelson in my rooms once

  67. 67
    jgm2 says:

    No. Deliberate confusion marketing. So, no matter what happens they can claim that somebody senior in the party foresaw it and therefore that particular outcome was what they’d all predicted.

  68. 68
    Get this into the MSM says:

    Exercise your rights

  69. 69
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Why are some people calling me Ed Milibandwagon ???

  70. 70
    jgm2 says:

    I think Osborne/Cameron would veto that scenario. Not that the Europeans are stupid enough to put a mono-lingual mental case forward as a credible candidate for anything other than operating the security barrier at their c*ar park.

  71. 71
    jgm2 says:

    I think Osborne/Cameron would veto that scenario. Not that the Europ*eans are stupid enough to put a mono-lingual mental case forward as a credible candidate for anything other than operating the security barrier at their c*ar park.

  72. 72
    Selohesra says:

    You imply that he he had a reputation to damage

  73. 73
    Sir Dando Tweakeshafte says:

    David: “So, Ed, you can be Medvedev and I’ll be…”
    Ed: “No, YOU can be Medvedev, and I’ll…”
    David: “No,…”

  74. 74
    simon r says:

    more full of shit than mark oaten’s toothbrush ?

  75. 75
    get back to work you lazy sods says:

    Why the fuck is the House of Commons in recess from tomorrow?

  76. 76
    The Enron Chancellor says:

    German exports are so successful (in part, at least) because the Euro is artificially depressed by the PIIGS. If they still had to trade in DM, they’d have the problems of the Swiss Franc and their ports would be full of unsold Audis, Beemers and Mercs.

    Germany’s problem (apart from an inbuilt tendency to naively trust any figures that have an ‘official government’ imprimatur) is that they want to enjoy all the benefits of the Euro without any of the costs.

  77. 77
    Robbing, the Boy Wonder says:

    Need to associate her with Blair/Brown experiment at every opportunity, she is tarnished goods for more than 1 reason

  78. 78
    Selohesra says:

    Its all very well for you to pick holes in their record but what you fail to understand is that when they wrote that passage (and many others) they had their fingers crossed thus completely negating the validity of your criticism

  79. 79
    Loungelizard says:

    No, I think they’ll offer us Upchucka. They’re arrogant enough to think that the electorate are stupid enough to fall for Brit Obama stunt.

  80. 80
    Smig says:

    If the French had an ounce of sense, they would be planting more trees.

    They make for a living stockade against invasion.

  81. 81
    Bogbrush says:

    There shitting it incase the ‘project ‘ starts to be unnravelled by the fact people are realy and truely not beleeving any word that comes out of any of the lieing gob’s. There gaffor Rot=hs’ch’iyd needs a nuw line for Camuroon Milband and all the other tra/’s so they can keep bleedin’ us dry in iggneranse.

  82. 82
    Smig says:

    They fell for Blair…

  83. 83
    Smig says:

    Bagsy being Gorbachev.

  84. 84
    Smig says:

    because cuиt was already taken.

  85. 85
    Nothing became him as his manner in defeat says:

    True….but I took the “charitable” view that he at least still had a vestige of regard to his place in history and thatperhaps as an ex-PM and Chancellor of the Exchequer he may have thought that his presence in the odd Parliamentary debate especially on matters pertaining to the Eiuro Crisis/Economy etc may have been expected although on his last outing on phone hacking he managed to further damage what little reputation he actually still had by his strange slef-pitying monologue…however I confidentally expect him to be present and speak during the Autumn Statement……although I note that recently there have been sights of flying objects of a porcine variety over the Palace of Westmnster

  86. 86
    anon says:

    Ed has described a Labour MP who died of cancer as Labour through and through. A somewhat unfortunate comparison, I feel.

  87. 87
    Cell time says:

    Scary stuff, Swedish must be questioning the intelligence of their MEP, 55% pro EU, 20% against and 35% don’t care! This might explain their inability to balance a budget.

    Nigel is the only one living in a reality I recognise.

    Feltham and Heston for first seat Nigel?

  88. 88
    Humanitarian says:

    Have we no pity? What on earth have the poor peoples of Europe ever done to deserve having Gordon Brown imposed on them as president?

  89. 89
    Back in the EUSSR says:

    I will be as succinct as I can. The EU project is simply totalitarianism by the back door.

  90. 90
    Larry the Cat says:

    There are only about 40 shopping days till Christmas, give or take a pre-Yuletide dirty weekend away with the mistress. What do you expect MPs to to? Work up till Christmas Eve?

  91. 91
    Mystick1 says:

    Kate Hoey and Frank Field are the only two honest MPs on the opposition benches. The rest are just shit.

  92. 92
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Is that woman Kirsty Squawk’s sister?

  93. 93
    Lord Lucan says:

    What else to you expect from Lord Mandy of Boy and his traitorous cabal. These are New-Labour hold outs, like those Japanese soldiers who wouldn’t surrender for years on Pacific islands. They are wedded to the idea of diluting British sovereignty in return for personal enrichment.

    In better, more just days they would be tried for Treason.

  94. 94
    Iloathlefties says:

    Thats why they invented the Euro to keep their currency artificially low to enjoy high exports. As you say, they don’t want the costs of the PIIGS, so its austerity and make them all poor now!!

  95. 95

    Fucking is when the interest rates start to rise…

  96. 96
    Great stuff from Farage says:

    Hope John Redwood has the guts to listen to the last comments on that clip. They blow his fake ‘renegotiation’ bullshit right out of the water

  97. 97
    joolz says:

    My god only 1 person understands what is happening.

    Our Nige

  98. 98
    Cleaner who scrapes bogies from off the benches says:

    They didn’t need to cross their fingers. There has already been a legal challenge to Labour breaking a manifesto promise and their legal defence would appear to be that they are liars.

    Cecilia Ivimy, for the government, said: “A manifesto promise is incapable of giving rise to a legally binding contract with the electorate. It is a point which is so obvious that I don’t want to labour it.”

    Mr Bower, a UKIP parliamentary hopeful …
    said: “To file a defence that says ‘I can be a blatant liar in a manifesto and get away with it’ is utterly mind-boggling…”

  99. 99
    Farmer says:

    I saw Tony Blair talking about the EU crisis on TV the other day, then Peter Mandelson talking about it on Newsnight and now David Milliband writing in the FT about it.

    Now I might be overthinking this but given there is an election for EU President in June – is there any chance Tony Blair is planning to stand for the post?

  100. 100
    Cleaner who scrapes bogies from off the benches says:

    I hope so – it’s one of those things that would focus British people’s hatred onto the EU.

    Also it will just shit on Gordo’s day, which is fine by me.

  101. 101

    The empire will serve the needs of the German people. Rebellion will be crushed.

    Sieg Heil.

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron is a fucking bullshitter, he now pretends he’s a Euro sceptic. Does he think we believe this bullshit, its only done to placate tory rebles.

    What a lying wanker the man is

  103. 103
    gildedtumbril says:

    You find millipedes under stones where they do useful work recycling detritus. Useful work is something you will never get out of the millipede brothers.They are career parasites of the lowest order. They belong under stones. Their presence in the HoC is an insult to us all. I curse all the dimwits who vote for them.

  104. 104
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    Withdrawal form the EU is totally unacceptable as I would not then be able to go on troughing and shagging trips to Eastern europe with the Council for Europe.

  105. 105
    pano scouse says:

    He should definitely apply – he has all the necessary qualifications.

  106. 106
    Gareth says:

    As a Tory voter, I love the fact that Labour has shot themselves in the foot by electing such a dimwit to run their party. Unfortunately for them they still don’t realise their naive left wing idealism is so out of touch with the rest of the country the haven’t got a hope in hell of winning the next election. Come on Cameron get us out of Europe!

  107. 107
    HRH Duke of Edinburgh says:

    Is this what our once proud country has sunk to? Lock him up and throw away the key.

  108. 108
    Brian Parkhurst says:

    We need a new e-petition to debate in the House of Commons, the requirement to have an in/out/partial EU referendum in the event of a new treaty.
    We must stop Cameron from excluding the opportunity to vote for withdrawal or partial withdrawal from the EU should he honour his promise to hold a referendum should a new treaty or serious non-treaty change be required to be voted on by all EU members.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers