November 12th, 2011

Saturday Seven Up

This week 98,115 visitors made 270,748 visits to 418,092 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or you are behind…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    Good week Guido.

    Thanks .

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    “Tommy Five Dinners decided to lash out at Guido in response to this humiliation. Guido doesn’t forget these things…”

    is this worse than spilling a pint?

  3. 3
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Central bankers like Mervyn King and governments are practising financial terrorism on it’s people. The bankers and politicians are getting rich, and you’re paying for it.

  4. 4
    Larry the cat says:

    I want to go back to Battersea, they are all barking mad in this place.

  5. 5
    Blair Waugh-Monger says:

    I switched sides so everyone would know me as a Mass murderer.

  6. 6
    jgm2 says:

    Where’s that quote from?

  7. 7
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:


  8. 8
  9. 9
    Fabians are Evil. says:

    I still hate and loath Gordon Brown – the creature should hang for his wrecking of the social and economic well being of the UK.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Hacking police find ‘bombshell’ emails: Now detectives may want to question James Murdoch

    Read more:

  11. 11
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Yawn, Murdoch’s have won this and who gave a shit anyway…

  12. 12
    Colonel Blimp says:

    Wounded soldiers face sack under new Army redundancy plans

    TOMMY, by Rudyard Kipling.

    I went into a public-‘ouse to get a pint o’ beer,
    The publican ‘e up an’ sez, “We serve no red-coats here.”
    The girls be’ind the bar they laughed an’ giggled fit to die,
    I outs into the street again an’ to myself sez I:
    O it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, go away”;
    But it’s “Thank you, Mister Atkins”, when the band begins to play,
    The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
    O it’s “Thank you, Mister Atkins”, when the band begins to play.

    I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
    They gave a drunk civilian room, but ‘adn’t none for me;
    They sent me to the gallery or round the music-‘alls,
    But when it comes to fightin’, Lord! they’ll shove me in the stalls!
    For it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, wait outside”;
    But it’s “Special train for Atkins” when the trooper’s on the tide,
    The troopship’s on the tide, my boys, the troopship’s on the tide,
    O it’s “Special train for Atkins” when the trooper’s on the tide.

    Yes, makin’ mock o’ uniforms that guard you while you sleep
    Is cheaper than them uniforms, an’ they’re starvation cheap;
    An’ hustlin’ drunken soldiers when they’re goin’ large a bit
    Is five times better business than paradin’ in full kit.
    Then it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, ‘ow’s yer soul?”
    But it’s “Thin red line of ‘eroes” when the drums begin to roll,
    The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
    O it’s “Thin red line of ‘eroes” when the drums begin to roll.

    We aren’t no thin red ‘eroes, nor we aren’t no blackguards too,
    But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
    An’ if sometimes our conduck isn’t all your fancy paints,
    Why, single men in barricks don’t grow into plaster saints;
    While it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, fall be’ind”,
    But it’s “Please to walk in front, sir”, when there’s trouble in the wind,
    There’s trouble in the wind, my boys, there’s trouble in the wind,
    O it’s “Please to walk in front, sir”, when there’s trouble in the wind.

    You talk o’ better food for us, an’ schools, an’ fires, an’ all:
    We’ll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
    Don’t mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
    The Widow’s Uniform is not the soldier-man’s disgrace.
    For it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Chuck him out, the brute!”
    But it’s “Saviour of ‘is country” when the guns begin to shoot;
    An’ it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ anything you please;

  13. 13
    Jen Tree says:

    Boring, boring, boring. No phone was hacked, listening in to voice mail is no different than going through rubbish bins or blagging. All the papers including the Guardian do it or hire a man who can.

  14. 14
    Ah! Monika says:

    I reckon there should be an amnesty for all newspapers covering all aspects of hacking provided all involved turn queen’s Evidence. Then we can all move on.

  15. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You know you need to grow up when you make a Faebook group called “It Up The Bum” and laugh yourself silly when Facebook tells you that “Billy Bowden Likes it up The Bum”

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Today’s best joke. If old Rupert was still supporting Labour your comment could have been different.

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    When did they win? Soon they might end up behind bars.

  18. 18
    P E Deloitte says:

    Come in Agent Orange. Your time’s up.

  19. 19
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:


    Guido i see the R.O.I done well last night, does this mean the new Irish President does not have the Jonah curse?

  20. 20
    Gay Gordon says:

    The only people who can hack digital cell phones are the security agencies.

  21. 21
    Eee Uuu Dictatorship, the last evil empire says:

    They were all at it including the Guardian and Mirror Group. The only significant story to come out of this is Tom Watson’s abuse of boys.

  22. 22
    anon says:

    An’ Tommy ain’t a bloomin’ fool — you bet that Tommy sees!

    Thank you Colonel.

  23. 23
    Dwayne Dibley Ed says:

    I am a poodle of the unions but I have ‘anonymous’ to be my poodle *drenches his slave in spittle*

  24. 24
  25. 25
  26. 26
    Tom Bradby says:

    As my article in ‘Seen Elsewhere’ clearly states

  27. 27
    Gay Gordon says:

    Anon that is not hacking into a phone. That is simply listening to a person’s voicemail stored by the phone company.

  28. 28
    The Paragnostic says:

    @Gay Gordon:

    If you’ve got around 10 grand to shell out, you can buy the kit to pretend to be a GSM cell, run a ‘man in the middle’ attack and listen away to your heart’s content.

    But never let the facts get in the way of a good pontification, eh?

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone heard from “Local Sleaze” recently?
    Seems he is due to post something soon.
    All the national-only scandals are getting a bit dull & depressing.
    Time for a rotten burgh story again.

  30. 30
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:!/GuidoFawkes/status/135315338681270272

  31. 31
    Jabba the Cat says:

    “If old Rupert was still supporting Labour your comment could have been different.”

    The best part of this whole business is that the Murdoch press will not back Labour for the foreseeable future thereby making sure Milimong loses the next election.

  32. 32
    No Hope says:

    Seems to me there is no point in Tommy fighting for this country anymore. It is just a subservient state of the EUSSR and the EUSSR does not deserve any defending. And when Tommy comes home he is just spat on by the Muslims and the swampies.

  33. 33
    Jabba the Cat says:

    “When did they win? Soon they might end up behind bars.”

    The score is currently Murdoch 4 Watson 0, go figure…

  34. 34
    Gay Gordon says:

    Pragnostic that is just an urban myth.

  35. 35
    carry on up william hague says:

    Mumsnet and popbitch do far better

  36. 36
    The Paragnostic says:

    And Kipling also wrote this:

    They shall not return to us, the resolute, the young,
    The eager and whole-hearted whom we gave:
    But the men who left them thriftily to die in their own dung,
    Shall they come with years and honour to the grave?

    They shall not return to us; the strong men coldly slain
    In sight of help denied from day to day:
    But the men who edged their agonies and chid them in their pain,
    Are they too strong and wise to put away?

    Our dead shall not return to us while Day and Night divide–
    Never while the bars of sunset hold.
    But the idle-minded overlings who quibbled while they died,
    Shall they thrust for high employments as of old?

    Shall we only threaten and be angry for an hour:
    When the storm is ended shall we find
    How softly but how swiftly they have sidled back to power
    By the favour and contrivance of their kind?

    Even while they soothe us, while they promise large amends,
    Even while they make a show of fear,
    Do they call upon their debtors, and take counsel with their
    To conform and re-establish each career?

    Their lives cannot repay us–their death could not undo–
    The shame that they have laid upon our race.
    But the slothfulness that wasted and the arrogance that slew,
    Shell we leave it unabated in its place?

    Mesopotamia – written in 1917, and still as valid today as an expression of rage at the politicians who have abandoned the troops.

  37. 37
    Urban Myth says:

    I refute that

  38. 38
    Judge Dreadful says:

    Nonsense. We can’t ‘move on’ until the criminals have had their week in prison with the Parliamentary expenses fiddlers.

  39. 39
    The Paragnostic says:

    @Gay Gordon:

    Urban myth?

    You do need a bit more kit than that to ensure you hand-off correctly to a real GSM tower, but it’s definitely no urban myth. Note that the encryption can be turned off at will, in most cases without the target’s phone notifying them.

    You really need to read a bit more before you dismiss stuff as urban myths – please play again.

  40. 40
    The Paragnostic says:

    Ah, Billy – the Curse of Jonah was working the other way last night:

    “Gordon Brown praised Estonian Soldiers in Afghanistan”.

  41. 41
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    Good spot.

    Which begs the question, how do you solve a problem like Gordon?

  42. 42
    I come not to bury billy but to condemn him with faint praise says:

    I’m sick of all this Billy bashing, Billy is one of US not one of THEM. Billy is a true libertarian, in that he’s always taking the liberty and his arse is anybody’s, probably just for a small libation at the most. (Haha, only joking Billy :)) Billy’s function on this blog is a cross between a court jester, an aunt sally, a scape goat and a fucking all round nuisance. He is like the piece of grit in an oyster which produces the pearl. He’s the new version of tat in a way, with the small caveat that he’s a nutter of a different colour, as it were. Tat was always being banned for the incessant posting of mostly bollocks, testing Guidos libertarian values to the limit, but with Billy I contend that Guido has proven those values beyond a doubt in that he’s given Billy free reign to express his unique pathology with the F5 button. Either that or he’s just too pissed to notice and/or just lost interest. Anyways, the truth remains that Billy has come here to learn from me and fellow windowlickers on this blog, and for that he must be commended, and furthermore be encouraged to become the best blogger that he could possibly be. To be brutally frank, most of Billy’s posting are utter shite, but I would argue that they are honest to goodness shite. Besides which he makes the rest of us look reasonably sane and sober, in a good light and with a following wind.

    I rest my case.

  43. 43
    I come not to bury billy but to condemn him with faint praise says:

    If he’s anything like you Billy, with great difficulty.

  44. 44
    The mad Mullah says:

  45. 45
    Jim Jam Chutney says:

    Can’t understand why Mrs May banned his organisation. It just puffs up his ego and quite frankly it’s antics just made them a laughing stock. I wonder what they’ll come back as after the rebranding?

  46. 46
    The Paragnostic says:

    Dunno, but I’m willing to bet a bottle of Talisker that the Met won’t indulge in mass arrests of his type of person…

  47. 47
    Old Bill says:

    The new Met boss is like a breath of fresh air. A proper copper doing a proper job. At last the socialist ghost of Blair has been exorcised.

  48. 48
    The Paragnostic says:

    Looks like he’s just sat on a butt plug.

    How anyone can take that bloody fool seriously as the leader of the Opposition is beyond me.

  49. 49
    Moley. says:

    Left wing bias at the BBC.

    Petition to demand an enquiry.

    Of particular concern is the BBC’s failure to tell the truth about Government spending; that it is currently rising; not falling.

    Blaming our current poor growth on “Cuts” is simply an outrageous lie.

    If the BBC cannot be truthful in this case; it has no right to public money, and no right to demand a licence fee.

  50. 50
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

  51. 51
    The Paragnostic says:

    So why did they arrest 172 people without reason yesterday, then?

    Wouldn’t they have been better employed stopping the occupy gang shitting in St Pauls?

    I wonder what the compo for an unjustifiable arrest is these days? Hope the Met gets stung for thousands.

  52. 52
    George Osborne. says:

    I love meeting Sarkozy but Angela is the one who thrills me.

    Hit me with your rhythm stick, hit me, hit me
    Je t’adore, ich liebe dich, hit me, hit me, hit me
    Hit me with your rhythm stick
    Hit me slowly, hit me quick
    Hit me, hit me, hit me

  53. 53
    ly Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV sa says:

    In case you haven’t heard it, this is a tremendous battle song for Nov 30th! Support the strike, build the resistance, download and circulate to all your contacts, to get ‘Rise Up!’ played at rallies and meetings. See the video at “This song for November 30 is brilliant. We should make it Xmas No 1!” – Paul Mackney, Vice-Chair, Coalition of Resistance (former General Secretary NATFHE/UCU). Download the track at

  54. 54
    The Law says:

    Until St Pauls makes a complaint to the plod, there is nothing the plod can do.

  55. 55
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    @The Para

    They were arrested to prevent a breach of the pe@ce.

    Thought crime.

  56. 56
    The Paragnostic says:

    One Blockhead deserves another:

    The opening lines are particularly valid for you and Dave…

  57. 57
    The Paragnostic says:

  58. 58
    Gordon Brown says:

    Big tough ed milliebland, has spoken, and all world leaders have trembled.

  59. 59
    albacore says:

    Well, when you get Dave brainwaves like scrapping aircraft carriers and Harriers; and opining that we won’t need any at all for a decade or so, that might just tend to leave certain people feeling a tad uppity.

  60. 60
    The Paragnostic says:

    If that were true, then Chaudary and his lot would have been arrested last year before they burned poppies.

    Breach of the peace my arse – this was the state stifling the voice of the British people.

    The Met police is now the enemy of common sense and freedom, and needs to be excised from the body politic.

  61. 61
    Rudyard Kipling says:

    “If, drunk with sight of power, we loose/ Tongues that have not Thee in awe/ Such boastings as the Gentiles use/ Or lesser breeds without the Law/ Lord God of Hosts be with us yet/ Lest we forget– lest we forget!”

    Offered for what it’s worth as a description of modern-day politics in the EU.

  62. 62
    Lucky dave says:

    Dave is very fortunate that Ed is Labour leader. If it had been his elder brother David he would have been able to speak with authority on international events and put pressure on Dave. As it is, no one listens to Ed, except the lefties at the BBC and their paper the Guardian.

  63. 63
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    @The Para

    But the state knows what is good for us!

    I think the Home sec made a big mistake banning the muslims and i blame the police for over-reaction on EDL.

    The best thing would have been to let them both have thier protests, any violence then nick em, If the left can occupy that church and surronding area then the freedom of expression and protest should be providied to all.

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    Gay Gordon says:
    November 12, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Hi Gay Gordon

    When did you come out? Cameron is going to let you marry, congratulations.

  65. 65
    Jerome Waugh-Phayre says:

    Check him into an NHS hospital.

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    Jabba the Cat says:
    November 12, 2011 at 11:23 am

    Only in your mind mate. Rupert’s son was talking about closing Sun as well. Hope you will not miss page 3.

  67. 67
    Ed too-far-too-fast Testicles says:

    He’s stolen my line.

  68. 68
    Gideon says:

    Forget Angela. There is only one girl for me and thats Brittania.

  69. 69
    Penguin News says:

    The situation is slightly different from April 1982 though isn’t it ?

    In the event of a situation that pertained in the Spring of 1982 as there are assets in theatre and the base can theoretically be re-inforced within 24 hours as there is an air-bridge capability and you can bet that re-inforcements would be forthcoming irrespective of other committments and cuts…no UK government and especially a Tory led one could survive losing the Falklands… Mrs T almost found out to her cost in 1982…..but lket’s hope we don’t have to put that to the test

  70. 70
    ly Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV sa says:

    1939-1945 means a lot to my Grandad.
    It’s when Coronation Street has its advert break and he goes for his evening shit

  71. 71
    t says:

    The Met won’t get stung for thousands, the Tax payer will, and the lawyers of course will be bunged thousands

  72. 72
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    People have been saying Guido losing readers, so i did a bit of looking about in the archives, this weeks figs indicate 98 thousend readers, however if you look at a number from just 12 months ago (same month) those figures were 78,214 visitors.

    Tho this is just a snapshot, i think it buries the myth that Guido is losing readers.

  73. 73
    Save Europe! says:

    Keep Silvio. Smash the euro.

  74. 74
    Marmite says:

    Anonymong – I’m just waiting for the lefties precious Gardian to get found out/closed down/blown up.
    If Tom Fatson thinks he can tell us what to read, he’s seriously mistaken, although I believe the Beano is too highbrown for him.
    I miss the News of the Screws, and quite honestly I couldn’t give a flying f*ck how they got their stories. Oh, and if I hear Milly Dowler’s name mentioned once more by your hero Millitw*t I shall be sick. Millitw*t is nothing more than a two-faced sanctimonious b*stard.

  75. 75
    Jeff Buck says:

    Hi Ho Silvio Lining His Pockets.

  76. 76
    Laurie Penny says:


  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    You haven’t got any choice do you. Its going to run and run for years.

  78. 78

    Billy luv, all you’ve got to remember is that all men are filthy, cheating beasts with only one thing on their minds, thank fuck!

  79. 79
    Is it me? says:

    Welcome to the diverse UK . Female Eastern European Big Issue seller asks elderly Poppy seller to move away as he is affecting her sales!

  80. 80
    The copy+paste police says:

    “has its first advert break.

    If you’re going to quote sickipedia, please do it properly.

  81. 81
    Emperor van Rumboy says:

    His fate was sealed when he called the German Chancellor ‘una culona inchiavibile’.

    Suddenly there was a Liam Byrne moment….’There’s no money left…..’

  82. 82
    Technomist says:

    Anjem is such a caricature. The funny part about a man who is himself an arch conspiracy theorist is that there are lots of people who think his group is supported by the American right and/or CIA. He certainly gets a disproportionate amount of airtime in America whenever they need a distracting bogey-man to interview for domestic purposes.

  83. 83
    Rat's arse says:

    Signed it Moley. :)

  84. 84
    Laurie Penny's fading favour says:

    Anything to attract attention, eh Penny?

  85. 85
    Onanymous says:

    Why would I fuck a rapist when I can go fuck myself?

  86. 86
    Normal Guy says:

    I tried posting one of those you tube clips up the other day but Guido’s site lurned it into a mere link. How you hou do that?

  87. 87
    Fido says:

    Battersea Dog’s Home is not very nice. Whenever the charity fundraisers are there with their TV cameras it is all smiles etc. but actually, for a dog its pretty nasty. And it pongs.

  88. 88
    Hang the BBC!! says:

    The BBC should be on their fucking knees grovelling for being wrong about practically anything of importance, AIDS (It’s was gonna kill us all as well as gays) Europe and the euro, the competence of the Labour government to run the economy and AGW. They’re shite.

  89. 89
    La la Land says:

    The Big Issue has become a scam, run by and for the Romanian mafia. They are supposed to be in the UK on the basis of being ‘workers’ or ‘providing services’ under EU law and instead they are sitting on their asses begging. Theresa May should shut the fake ‘charity’ down.

  90. 90
    News Values says:

    They do seem to be able to give quite accurate reports on the street value of cociane and other drugs when they cover crime stories, for some reason.

  91. 91
    nell says:

    I’m watching the antics of poor militwit with some amusement.

    He’s becoming increasingly shrill as he struggles to get people to listen to him as he criticises the way the coalition is trying to get us out of our black hole.

    The problem for militwit is that everyone remembers only too vividly that he was a minister in the last labour government that got us into this mess.

  92. 92
    Selohesra says:

    Me too

  93. 93
    Ulysses goose fondler says:

    One UK hunter killer in the waters anywhere near their shipping would be enough let alone the Typhoon fighters ! any move by the sad old lush s in Argentina would be horribly expensive in lives and kit !

  94. 94
    Ulysses goose fondler says:

    Signed !

  95. 95
    Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:


  96. 96
    The battle of the two Davids would be too close to call says:

    You’ve hit the nail on the head…had Labour actually elected D Miliband as leader and not his useless younger brother E Miliband Labour would have probably been a shoe-in to be the government in 2015…as it is “Dave” must offer a prayer up every day for the fact they didn’t and the union dinosaurs went with the lefty candidate…it’ll still be pretty close I think as to whether “Dave” gets a majority but he’s evens to still be PM after May 2015 whereas if he were facing the elder brother I’m not so sure

  97. 97
    Viewing Public says:

    I shall be missing the Aviva adverts this Sunday evening on ITV1…the only trouble is they kept being interupted by something called “Downton Abbey”

  98. 98
    Portland Bill says:

    But we don’t need an invasion force this time as we are already there and the place is well defended.

    But what will Dave do when the Spaniards invade Gib?

  99. 99
    albacore says:

    “Four Eurofighter Typhoon aircraft provide air defence for the islands and surrounding territories and have a secondary ground attack role.
    The VC10 provides air transport and aerial refuelling for the fighters. When a fighter is launched it is almost immediately followed by the VC10 as changeable weather conditions might make diversion to another airfield necessary.”

  100. 100
    One thing that the BBC is right about...we're all going to die(eventually) says:

    Who can forget those grey and black doom laden adverts with the ominous music and voice-over of the 80’s about the impending pandemic called AIDS and the fact that it would wipe out up to 60% of the World’s population by 2010 ??

  101. 101
    nell says:

    Funniest moment of the week was twatson playing online games all night and then turning up at the Select Committee to accuse murdoch of being the mafia.

    Talk about a keystone cop falling over his own feet.

  102. 102
    Dick the Prick says:

    I think he probably likes young boys a bit too much like that Mohammed chappie (pboh) and we’ll no doubt find out about his dirty rogering sometime soon, inshallah.

  103. 103
    nell says:

    Berlusconi out of a job by tonight – we shall miss the comedy that he brought to europe@n politics shan’t we?

  104. 104
    The Paragnostic says:

    Right click, then “copy embed code”.

  105. 105
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Marmite dear boy, it’s not actually about telling us what we should read, it’s more about neutering and hitting paper circulations of the more popular parts of the press, so that the, much more labour sympathetic and anti-tory, broadcast news outlets (mainly the BBC) become even more dominant in news dissemination.

  106. 106
    The Paragnostic says:

    I’ve taken to asking the Big Issue sellers if they have such a publication back home, and if not, why don’t they go back and start one?

    For some reason they get all pissy.

  107. 107
    The Paragnostic says:

    I’m sure he won’t be lost for things to do in his retirement – plenty of young lasses willing to entertain him, and if all else fails, perhaps he’ll have to appear in court sometime soon.

    I wonder if he has anything on TWatson?

  108. 108
    The curse of Jonah Brown lives on says:

    Gordon’s local beach is about to become the first place in the United Kingdom to be designated radioactive contaminated land.

  109. 109
    The Paragnostic says:

    When I get drunk enough to fuck you, Laurie, then I’ll give you a call.

    Until then, keep peddling your 6th form debating skills on Radio 5 – I’m sure you’ll find someone to take you seriously sooner or later.

  110. 110
  111. 111
    Gordon says:

    “That was a disaster. Should never have put me with that woman. Whose idea was that?”

  112. 112
    Excellent stuff says:

    Harsh, but undeniably fair

  113. 113
    The BBC says:

    The MP for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath is seeking a meeting with Defence Secretary Philip Hammond over the discovery of more than 200 particles at Dalgety Bay in the past few months.

  114. 114
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    That will be Phill doomed then….

  115. 115
    nell says:

    Am I right in believing that when he steps down he loses all his immunity from prosecution?

    And I wonder where tessa’s david mills is hiding at the moment ? Will he get dragged back into court and forced to testify that he was bribed by berlusconni?

    Oh the UK labour tuscany elite – what a ‘fragrant’ bunch they were!

    Perhaps pollytwaddle will be throwing a leaving party for the beloved berlusconni tonight in her luxury villa and inviting the bliars and the mills to make up the numbers.

  116. 116
    Lou Scannon says:

    There must be a hole in his hankie.

  117. 117
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Ha! You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh!

  118. 118
    Marmite says:

    Exactly C.O.A.B. Got it in one! How has Leiber got all this influence though? I thought they were stony broke, so they can hardly bribe anyone to do their dirty work, and as for the lefties, why does anyone take any notice of them?
    Are people really that thick?

  119. 119
    Will says:

    Maybe the adverts worked?

  120. 120
    Fife today says:

    ‘low-key’ radiative particles have been found for two decades on a beach at the commuter town,

    So why the fook is Gordon blaming Phillip Hammond for something that happened on his watch?

  121. 121
    nell says:

    Absolutely amazing. Dalgety Bay has been known to be contaminated for many years , certainly as many years as gordon has been it’s MP.

    Certainly as many years as gordon was also Chancellor and then PM. yet he did nothing about it whilst he was in power and is now trying to say the present Government is to blame for not acting!

    What hypocrisy!

  122. 122
    Sorry, another click please says:

    If enough sign

  123. 123
    Alicia Beyonce 50 Cent James says:

    ur all gay m8 laybur will fix everyfing

  124. 124
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    No they wouldn’t! FFS! People have niether forgotten or forgiven Labour for what they did to this country. (they client vote ain’t enough!) DM would be seen as a Blairite nerd with a very bent hairdo and with some very dodgy links to Gadaffi. Just because he speaks better than his brother, it doesn’t make Labour anymore electable.
    This “DM would make Labour electable” is merely some attempt by the ever lazy MSM commentariat to create a popular perception not based on any facts! (no change there then!)

  125. 125
    Archer Karcher says:

    Theresa May is one huge, dimwitted mistake without any help.

    However the moron who made her Home Secretary and expected anything other than continuous idiocy from her, is the one really at fault. Step forward dickhead in chief Dave and take a bow.

  126. 126
    The Modding Machine says:

    I’m sorry you have already made that comment

  127. 127
    Archer Karcher says:

    Isn’t Anjem our man on the inside, luring all potential Jihadis into the security peoples attention?

  128. 128
    Engineer says:

    If you want to find ‘radioactive particles’, you wouldn’t have to look very hard. They crop up all over the place, most of them perfectly natural. Cornwall, for example, is mostly a whacking great lump of granite, which is radioactive. There are natural outcrops of pitchblende in several places (Peak District and on the Solway Firth, for example) which if they were on a nuclear licensed site would have to be barriered off. Since they aren’t on nuclear licensed sites, you can sit on them and eat your butties if you like.

    The only real problem these ‘particles’ could cause is if someone started eating them in quantity. Otherwise, they are about as dangerous as dogshit.

  129. 129
    Engineer says:

    They alredy fxd it 1ce. Thts enuf.

  130. 130

    OK I’ll start it off:

    Harry Redknapp is innocent.

    Start painting it on London and Pompey’s bridges…

  131. 131

    OK I’ll start it off:

    Hаrry Redknapp is innocent

    Start painting it on London and Pompey’s bridges…

  132. 132
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    Lol Cat

    I saw the news on twitter earlier, TBH its nowt compared to Rangers FC, they could owe HMRC 45 million ish

  133. 133
    t says:

    Yes marmite. Fantastic success of comprehensive education, common purpose induction!

  134. 134
    The Paragnostic says:

    Maybe the estimates of the number of practitioners of sodomy were on the high side?

    I see that now they’ve got their “equality” and can victimise normal folk at will using Labour legislation, the estimates have dropped from a ludicrous 10% to 3% – this would make a big difference to the epidemiology.

  135. 135
    The Paragnostic says:

    Does being England manager give you immunity?

    If not, it should do!

    Typical bloody Revenue – we’ll probably end up with another foreigner in the job if Harry’s out of the running.

    Mind you, Gary Speed’s doing a good job – Wales for the World Cup 2014!

  136. 136
    t says:

    We need a revolution! Parliament is clearly not truely patriotic, I thought CMD would alter direction, but no. Parliament has out-lived its usefulness, we need a new Patriotic, preferably English, style of Government, this one is not working for the countries benefit, whatever party is in the chair!!

    FFF FFS!!

  137. 137
    Anyway says:

    The real concern that you will not see mentioned on the State Broadcasting Authority (The BBC) is that Greece and Italy will no longer be Democratic. The BBC and other media comrades are rejoicing that these countries will now be ruled by approved Brussels’s Technocrats. These Technocrat people are no more than puppets appointed by the back door by the German Chancellor Angela Myrtle. The French have of course already waved the white flag and their Petit President will of course blame Britain for their failed Euro experiment because “Ze Roast Beefs did not give us enough money”.

    This is the third try at European domination by Germany and it has now succeeded, ironic that it happened this week when we remember so many lives lost trying to make sure this never happened.

    Goodnight Democracy. It nearly worked.

  138. 138
    AC1 says:

    Labour nice? The party of greater state extortion nice?

    More like the soviet union = nice?

    What colour is their world?

  139. 139
    smoggie says:

    He is One of Them – Billy’s admitted it.

  140. 140
  141. 141
    gordy gordy gum drops. says:

    Well oh dear, Gordy has a job to do for his constituants, never mind Fife, Gordy will look after your interests, just as he has done in the House of Commons for you, serves you right you voted him in again after his show as a “PM”.

  142. 142
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Hammond should poke Brown in both eyes. Maybe just the one would do!

  143. 143
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    quote of the day Guido?

  144. 144
    Engineer says:

    “…it has now succeeded…”

    You reckon?

    The southern Europe@n countries are about to plunge the Eurozone into a prolonged depression, especially as Frau Merkel won’t stump up German taxpayers’ cash to prop them up. (There’s a reason for that – the German taxpayers are muttering mutinously.) Germany won’t do anything that might cause inflation in Germany because … well, not after the last time.

    There’s a lot left to happen in the EU, and nobody is quite sure if the Euro will survive, or if it does, in what form.

    The Technocrats may be ‘in charge’ at the moment, but they aren’t in charge of events. Neither is anybody else. Quite who will be left standing after the inevitable uncontrolled collapse is currently unpredictable, but it probably won’t be the Technocrats.

  145. 145
    Anonymous says:

    Hopefully the first public execution will be your you cowardly fat fucker

  146. 146
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Which is the biggest mafia outfit, The Labour Union Coalition or The Murdoch Empire?
    Yes we have two coalition parties in the UK – the ConDems and the Labour Union.
    I know the Unions were not elected but when has that mattered to labour.

  147. 147
    I wouldn't necessarily bank on it says:

    I wish I belived that….never underestimate the gullibility of the electorate when faced with an onslaught by our state media on the Coalition for the blame all “failed” policies stretching back to 1997(they’re already doing it by rferring to past decisions as “government” ones failing to mention it was “Labour Government” and for cuts in expenditure….Labour are definitely electable even with Ed and Ed…and the fact that “Dave” has no clear message for HIS core vote who are splitting in all directions….some in fact would rather be out of government if it means seeing the LibDem party destroyed at an election .You see…when we get to campaigning time the crescendo from the media(BBC) will be deafening….remember that the BBC started saying 12 months before when they realised that Brown was probably unelectable(although Cameron almost actually delivered the impossible)that a “Balanced Parliament” would be best for the country and that it would in the national interest to deliver such a verdict…..for Chrissakes some voters even believed that in the event of no party having overall control all THREE parties would form a government…this time around the BBC will have plenty of ammunition to level at the TORY-LED Coalition mark my words

  148. 148
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Dogshit is danerous in gordon brown form.

  149. 149
    nell says:

    Major point though Eng that both Greece and now Italy have unelected governments with unelected policies. And it looks likely that France could go the same way.

    They are being given no promises about elections anytime soon. How are they to get back their rights to democracy?

    Can you imagine the UK or Germany trying to impose such an open ended dictatorship on their own people? They’d face an uprising.

  150. 150
    Amateur dog poisoner says:

    It pongs because bloody horrible dogs pong.

  151. 151
    ly Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV sa says:

    WARNING!!!!! Virus spreading like wildfire on fb! It is a Trojan worm called koobface. It will steal your info,invade your system and shut it down! Do not open the link Chris Huhne scandal! If Billy Bowden requests you as a friend,don’t accept it,it is a virus. If somebody on your list adds her ,you get the virus too! Please copy and paste to your wall…confirmed on MSNBC and SNOPES…Please pass on..

  152. 152
    AC1 says:

    Would they?
    Brown even decided he didn’t fancy an election…

  153. 153
    AC1 says:

    We could export them to Korea.

  154. 154
  155. 155
    Lou Scannon says:

    The EU.

  156. 156
    AC1 says:

    No mention of lost democracy? I “like” the way economics realists are described as “traditionalists”.

  157. 157
    nell says:

    True but labour had already been elected in and we all knew he’d be forced to face the electorate within a given time frame.

    The Greeks and Italians are not being promised that the unelected governments that france and germany are putting in place to rule them will be gone anytime soon.

  158. 158
    Anyway says:

    Engineer says: “Quite who will be left standing after the inevitable is currently unpredictable, but it probably won’t be the Technocrats”. What usually happens after an uncontrolled collapse? There is then only one authority, the armed forces.

    And – Dear Nell says: “Can you imagine the UK or Germany trying to impose such an open ended dictatorship on their own people? They’d face an uprising.” The UK is different to Germany. The Germans do love tight authority and obedience and who better to provide that than the armed forces, again! The UK as usual will stand alone on our little island because we don’t have any other option. But would we fight to save the Italians or the Greeks or the Spanish or the Portuguese? Even the war monger Blair would balk at that scenario.

    The BBC is of course is not concerned about democracy. They themselves are very happy to continue without any form of authority from the people and only ever submit to a Labour run parliament. Indeed they are actively putting out propaganda to bring down this, the only government in Europe that has a chance of surviving this mess. Their self-belief in promoting the undemocratic and unworkable socialist agenda is unremitting.

    Dangerous times methinks.

  159. 159
    Spanner in the works says:

    Italy and Greece are now under receivership to the E.C.B in all but name, the peoples of these countries are about to be tested to destruction financialy.

  160. 160
    Anon says:

    “Virus spreading like wildfire on fb! It is a Trojan worm”

    So is it a virus, a trojan or a worm?

    Or just a load of shit.

  161. 161
    nell says:

    dangerous times – Anyway ?

    It will depend whether the Greeks and the Italians accept the austerity package that their unelected governments force upon them.

    Both countries are known for violent riots and that will be the flashpoint.

    Likewise next year in France when they too face the inevitable of an empty cupboard.

  162. 162
    Tachybaptus says:

    Calm down dear, it’s only a worm.

    To get it via Facebook, you have to do two silly things in succession:
    1. Follow up one of the stupid stories mentioned by Billy. It will result in you being offered a video, but you will be told that you need to update Adobe Flash Player to see it.
    2. Agreeing to the update — this installs the worm.

    The newest version of koobface can also be picked up by using torrents, according to a report of September this year. So don’t use them.

    Microsoft’s own Windows Malicious Software Removal Tool will remove koobface. See

    for more information.

    It seems that people are recommending a commercial anti-malware program called Stopzilla to remove koobface. But there are reports that this program is either malicious itself, or useless. The Microsoft tool works as well as anything you can buy.

    [Waiting for smug crowing from Linux users such as the Paragnostic. I have to use Windows because I sell software for it.

  163. 163
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Always thought of the one eyed Scottish mong when I saw Joe Pesci in Casino giving that bloke a compression head massage in the vise.

  164. 164
    The Paragnostic says:

    There’s probably a thriving Korean “community” somewhere in London that would take them.

    Or maybe there isn’t, because the Koreans tend not to want to come to economic backwaters like the UK when they can make a living at home.

  165. 165
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

  166. 166
    The Paragnostic says:

    Nah – I just wouldn’t use Facebook anyway.

    And I do run Windows for some work-related stuff – I just never connect it to the public networks :-)

  167. 167
    The Paragnostic says:

    Looks like the truth is dawning on the Tory backbenchers – what price a stalking horse in the next month or two if Cameron doesn’t pull his finger out over the Eurofiasco?

  168. 168
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

  169. 169
    Well it's a thought says:

    Something that has been said many times on this site and it’s taken 18 months to find out by blue labour, well I’ll go to the foot of our stairs, thick bunch of barstewards, is there any real Conservatives or do they all have yellow streaks.

  170. 170
    Some Geezer wot dimly recollects the Lord Stevens report says:

    ‘Arry Redknapp has always reminded me of the Kevin Pollak character in Casino, Philip Green, who is described as being perfect for his job as the front man for the operation of the casino: “He didn’t know a whole lot, and he didn’t WANT to know a whole lot.” (i.e. about what DeNiro and Pesci knew about the Outfit’s operation outside Las Vegas)

  171. 171
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    In 2 or so years we WILL have PM Miliband.

    and its Daves fault.

  172. 172
    I Got Bored Of Having A Hundred Monikers.... says:

    No it’s you thick bastards fault for voting Dave in.

    Many of us said on here, the worse thing for any party would be to win that election.

    Labour got away SCOT FREE from having to face up to the reality and mess they made and it was all your own fault.

    The public have memories like fucking goldfish.

  173. 173
    I Got Bored Of Having A Hundred Monikers.... says:

    The markets would of crashed and the EU and IMF would of stepped in on Labours watch ala Greece and Italy and it would of destroyed them in the publics eyes for decades but you all sniffed a whiff of quick easy power and couldn’t play the waiting game anymore and dropped all principles like a ten dollar whore.

  174. 174
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    I dont live in Daves constitunacy so i didnt vote for him.

  175. 175
    Engineer says:

    Anyway – I hear what you say about the aftermath of an uncontrolled collapse resulting in military rule, but I suspect it won’t come to that (well, I hope not – obviously).

    There have to be elections eventually in all the Euro countries, and whilst there was general popular support for the single currency and even for greater integration when things were going well, that might turn rather more eurosceptic in more adverse times.

    A close family member visited Germany recently, five years after a previous visit. She was surprised at how much the country has deteriorated in that time, and she felt that the general morale of ordinary Germans is in a fragile state. They are not happy about their taxes, the product of their hard work, being used to prop up the economies of other countries. Merkel faces re-election soon; who knows what direction the German voter might go.

    Those populations of those countries with ‘installed’ technocrats might live with it to see them through the immediate crisis, but they will want their say in due course.

    Let us fervently hope that when the change comes in the EU, it’s a mainly democratic one, not a mainly violent one.

  176. 176
    Really? says:

    New Malden: a genuine community which slots in alongside indigenous Brits without generating any apparent friction. An added benefit from their presence is the establishment of several ‘quiet zones’ where public use of cellphones is frowned upon.

    If this idea caught on elsewhere, Britain might become quite bearable.

  177. 177
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

  178. 178
    EdButLookBalls says:

    It’s called Radon Rn Atomic No 86 and it is a radioactive gas; houses vulnerable have to seal their foundations against seepage of the gas into their living quarters or basements as it is denser than air!

  179. 179
    EdButLookBalls says:

    The biggest cu(n)t of all would be a vasectomy of Edward Balls!

  180. 180
    The Paragnostic says:

    Now if we could just excise 13 years of that post neo-classical endogenous growth, perhaps it won’t metastasise…

  181. 181
    Really? says:

    It was quite the fashionable thing to deride Kipling in the same crass terms that are currently attached to A.C.L. Blair; warmonger, imperialist. In Kipling’s case, the opposite seems true – a man whose chosen trade of journalism meant devotion to lost values of observation, truthfulness and lack of partiality.

  182. 182
    The Paragnostic says:

    I think the combination of the UMF, public sector pensions and Pilgrims amply qualify the Union-Labour gang as the more entrenched mafia.

    NI are mere amateurs compared to those who run a system to extort billions from taxpayers to pay for pensions for bedwetters, salaries for union officials and UMF funds that are transferred to Labour for election propaganda.

  183. 183
    Really? says:

    Half-listening to Radio 3 in the mistaken belief that it is a refuge from the ideological bent of the Corporation. Agitprop theatre presented as suitable entertainment for a Saturday evening. Thanks – at this rate, I’ll retune the preset to Classic FM (or invest in a CD collection of my own).

    As Fritz Zwicky would have said: they are spherical bastards – whichever direction you look at them from, they are still perfect bastards.

  184. 184
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Never trust anybody that’s married to a Ladyboy !

  185. 185
    anonalg says:

    @ Sir Pimple Timpleton
    Italy is now considering the full Monti after the sad departure of ever tumescent Silvio [I’ll be back] Berlosconi and politics will miss a comical character.
    Unlike Guido who promises Glenfiddle to caption winners and yet nothing materialises, I would like to honour our arrangement [on the older Berlosoni thread Nov 7] and had suggested donating your winnings to either Help for Heroes or the RNLI but have received no reply.
    Will visit the site tomorrow for possible confirmation.

  186. 186
    Handycock The model of municipal rectitude says:

    Nothing to report from Portsmouth, except for the regular planning corruption, councillors sitting on committees that award theselves contracts without declaring an interest and selling council properties to council officers and councillors. All in a day’s work and I am the facilitator. Boaz.

  187. 187
    Anonymous says:

    Is not local planning corruption tied to central planning corruption through the local government officers who act under delegated powers of Westminster instruction?

    Doh – look at the NPPF.

    The Practitioners advisory group is comprised of 4 members who wrote the entire policy proposal on the back of a fag packet: it includes Tayor Wimpey, and a planning consultancy called QUOD, whose client list includes Taylor Wimpey of course!!!
    Also EDF, Land Securities, ASDA, Westfield… (oh doesn’t that remind me of Lord “Cashpoint” Levy.)

    And the policy is due to be enacted at local levels through consultants already doing local authority work to the tune of 44% of council tasks:

    Oh and guess what? QUOD’s man is a former Compulsory Purchase Expert from Manchester for the VERY SAME FIRM.

    It’s a conspiracy theorists’ dream.

  188. 188
    Handycock The model of municipal rectitude says:

    Great, makes our job here in Portsmouth much easier and even less transparent.

  189. 189
    Grant says:

    Well said Handy. Another Villa in it for you.

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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