November 10th, 2011

Ebenezer Rusbridger Cancels Christmas

Last year the Guardian Media Group lost over £54 million, but that didn’t stop the Editor at Large Alan Rusbridger taking home a cheeky £605,000. Revenue was down from £221 million to £198.2 millon across the group. The Guardian and The Observer’s lost £38.3 million. As a result Christmas has been cancelled. Last year all the hacks were asked for a £20 contribution to the Christmas lunch, but things have got so bad that this year there is no Christmas lunch. Not even a Winterval drink…



  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    Oh no, what will Polly do now?

  2. 2
    JH says:

    They probably blew it all celebrating Eid.

    Fifth column lefty b*stards.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Am I first?? They don’t deserve one anyway!

  4. 4
    Ewanme says:


  5. 5
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    Is Rushbridger related to Bob willis?

    Uncanny likeness.

  6. 6
    Sophie says:

    No doubt rusty Dave Cameron is finding a way to funnel taxpayers cash to bail out another failed socialist enterprise.

  7. 7
    Le Colonel says:

    Perhaps Tolly Poynbee could pay for it?

  8. 8

    Polly will be devastated for missing a freebe – you can be sure last time she never paid her £20!

    Guido, there is a press party at the Cheshire Cheese in December, it happens every year.

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Extreme fundamentalism always reveals itself in the abolition of Christmas whether in puritanism through to Local Authority extremists, same danger, different clothes.

  10. 10
    jgm2 says:

    The Grauniad seems determined to expend all its energies (and cash) maintaining a massive web presence.

    And then moderating anybody off their ‘Comment is Free’ site who doesn’t profess undying love for Polly and the cartoonists.

    They’re in direct competition with the BBC for the most amount of folk employed by a web company and the most egregious censorship in favour of bedwetters. It’s only a matter of time before the BBC turns its guns on the Grauniad just like they did Murdoch. The BBC hates competition.

  11. 11
    Mr. Mainwaring says:

    What part of £54 million loss don’t they get?

  12. 12
    Polly Toynbee says:

    I’d like to help but I’ll be in Tuscany till January. I’m very hard up and suffering under coalition cuts.

  13. 13
    Jasmin Alibi Cunt says:

    Get Polly to pay for it

  14. 14
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    I didn’t think the Guardian would be gutted about Christmas lunch?

    I mean surely that’s culturally insensitive to other religions and isn’t part of the “multicultural” philosophy they preach?

    Surely it was the winterville dinner Guido ;)

    They are socialists after all.

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    I can see Tom Watson picking up the Parliamentarian of the year for his( very selective) expose of the worst aspects of gutter Journalism. Perish the thought that any politician might actually do something to increase the lot of the ordinary bloke in the street.

  16. 16
    Loungelizard says:

    The last thing Tonybee needs is lunch. I’d donate for a gastric band….if only they could slap it round her big fat mouth.

  17. 17
    bleeding heart liberal says:

    We need more public sector jobs – all advertized in The Guardian for a premium rate like the good old Blair/Brown days. That will bring back the Christmas cheer.

  18. 18
    dog Watch says:

    There are a lot of one percenters in socialist luvvy land.

  19. 19
    NeverRed says:

    Now that Labour are not throwing shedfuls of taxpayers money to the Guardian advertising overpaid taxpayer funded public sector and BBC ‘jobs’, I hope they go bankrupt and Polly, Zoe and all the other misfits are deprived any more cash for nothing.

  20. 20
    They're all smug, sneering Celt cunts at the BBC says:

    Harry Potter sees out his days running a failing newspaper organisation, cant he wave his wand and magic up an extra half million readers?

  21. 21
    EdMiliband says:

    We need an investigation into this.Yet again the out of touch Tories have no answers on this critical situation.

  22. 22
    NeverRed says:

    A guillotine would be more appropriate for the fat ugly cow.

  23. 23
    Billy Bragg says:

    Up the workers!!!!!!!!!1

  24. 24
    It's Real That Butt Head says:


    Buy this crap so that I can celebrate…….errr….a Christian Festival…..errr….that’s it…

    Oh and avoid the Christmas Rush Bringer…..

  25. 25
    Stan Butler says:

    I tried The Guardian once. It chafed so much I went back to Andrex.

  26. 26
    Tony M says:

    Can they not just pay for Christmas party via one of the tax loophole that they exploit (but criticise everyone else for exploiting)?

  27. 27
    riazat butt says:

    Is this a name or a kinky request?

  28. 28
    Poppy galore says:

    How come all the MPs and footballers and Tv presenters are wearing poppies? Hardly anyone else is.

  29. 29
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Tom Watson looks particularly fat and ugly today. Watson hides behind the committee. Why don’t you accuse Murdoch outright you fat scumbag.

  30. 30
    Lord of the Manor says:

    The Guardian. Hmm, never seen one. Is it one of these news sheets that has tits all over Page 3?

  31. 31
    jgm2 says:

    Too risky in the major cities now that they’ve fallen to the Taliban.

    Down here in rural West Sussex where the white people live you still see them everywhere.

  32. 32
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Once again Mr. Speaker the PM doesn’t know the answer so I’ll tell him. It’s all the PMs fault for hiring Andy Coulson.

  33. 33
    jgm2 says:

    No. The tits are all over their website.

  34. 34
    Alan Douglas says:

    I’d rather buy the Xmas lunch, at least THAT won’t give me indigestion.

    Alan Douglas

  35. 35
    EC1 PhD says:

    A Christmas Tale

    The newsdesks were all fully manned
    No party, no knees-up, no band
    The Guardian is bust
    Buy a copy you must
    So Scrooge Rus gets his six hundred grand

  36. 36
    Lord Hampstead says:

    Perhaps the Guardian should ask the BBC to fund the Winterval-Eid celebrations….after all the BBC news teams only refer to the Guardian for their stories.

    As the Guardian is the BBC House paper of choice, perhaps a portion of the telly tax should subsidise their party this year?

  37. 37
    Only in the Graun says:

    The BBC turing its guns on the Grauniad?

    I don’t think you understand. The BBC *is* the Grauniad and vice-verse.

    R4 is populated almost exclusively by the Guardian commentariat.

    The BBC recruit exclusively from the ranks of the Guardianistas.

    The only thing the BBC will be ‘turining on’ is the tap of license-payers cash to give more airtime to their bossom pals at Graun Towers.

  38. 38
    Bono says:

    There are a lot of hypocrites like me too.

  39. 39
    baldermort says:

    There’s no money left….hur hur.

  40. 40
    Tolly Poynbee says:

    We all celebrated Christmas chez moi in Tuscany….

  41. 41
    Rage Against the Political Elite says:

    Just like most of the FTSE 100 company directors with an average 49% When their organisations are going down the toilet. Must be related to the Politico’s wonder if they went too the same Universities or from the house of Lords?? Strange how companies losing money, people and market allow leaders to take more. Sounds a bit like Bernie Madoff

  42. 42
    Internal memo from Polly Polly Polly says:

    References to my villa in Tuscany are right-wing, morally suspect and must be purged without pity.

  43. 43
    jgm2 says:

    She’s going one better these days. Any comments that disagree with her at all are merely ‘trolls’ to be removed.

  44. 44
    Internal memo from Polly Polly Polly says:

    I do not own a villa in Tuscany. I am not sitting there now sipping a cheeky Tignanello. Bene Grazie.

  45. 45
    Hacked off real tax payer.... says:

    aaaahh Sorry to learn of the Guardianista’s dire financial situation during the festive season has there main backers Commie Biased Broadcasting Company aka CBBC, cut down on wasting Licence Payers money on there left bile……hope so…perhaps they will all go down the tube sooner rather than later……

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    You’ve got to be quick off the draw to beat Billy ‘F5′ Bowden!

  47. 47
    Gonk says:

    On that sort of salary he could bleedin well buy a local boozer,
    there’s plenty for sale, and treat the whole nest to a couple of pints
    and some pork scratchings.

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    A dopier looking version of Bob Willis certainly.

  49. 49
    PD77 says:

    Is that the same as the one about how to loose 10 lbs of ugly fat?

  50. 50
    Gillette says:

    Will she be asked to shave first?

    Her face you naughty boys!

  51. 51
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    I went back to Adam Werritty’s place last night.

    As I bent her over the bed and started pounding his arse, he said, “Shhhhh, my mum and dad are next door.”

    “Well they won’t hear us from here” I shouted, “Your house is detached.”

  52. 52
  53. 53
    PD77 says:

    Stop clapping your hands Bonio!

  54. 54
    Only in the Graun says:


    Agreeing with Polly = contributing to the debate

    Disagreeing with Polly = disruptive trolling

  55. 55
    Sungei Patani says:

    49% of what? Not very articulate are you?

  56. 56
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    Human right to have low cost affordable housing?


    >Not signing.

  57. 57
    EUSSR Beeb spokesperson says:

    You peasants never understanding that having such a fine ethical organisation like the world wide adored & worshipped BBC here in the EUSSR you should kiss our feet. We will find new ways to extract more (of our) money, as those terrible Tories have reduced our divine right which is enshrined in the charter for unlimited access to your bank accounts.

  58. 58
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

    May continues to shoot her self in the foot.

  59. 59
    jgm2 says:

    Low cost affordable housing?

    Buy a tent.

  60. 60
    Hava Nagila says:

    Christmas is a racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, reactionary, monarchist, pro-Israel, anti-immigration holiday.

    I’d have thought the Grauniad scum would be happy not to celebrate it.

  61. 61
    anon says:

    FIFA fo-fum i see an England shirt with a poppy on if he takes to the grass i,ll have his ass what does he think football is FUN.

  62. 62
    Gonk says:

    Damn, left it too late. Never mind, what shall I have for lunch.

  63. 63
    anon says:

    the guardian is crap

    it is the most controlling of papers and it’s moderation is unhinged, biased especially concerning Julie Birchall and downrigt biased

    still, what about this then

    all our leaders and all our media are and always have been crap

  64. 64
    Titford Hat says:

    Fat chance of more people reading the Garudina when it is
    a) unreadable and humourless
    b) produced by swivel-eyed nutters

  65. 65
    An Ode to Big Society says:

    Big Society could be much more aligned
    If my petition all of you signed
    For cheap shitty digs?
    On land fit for pigs?
    You must think me out of my mind.

  66. 66
    Anon Voter says:

    Does that mean they will be deported forthwith as well without re-course to the Courts? & more tax payers money.

  67. 67
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! (Episode six, the Umpire strikes back) also in Cunt3DHDTV says:

  68. 68
    BillyBob... says:

    A party for them when they eventually close ?

  69. 69
    I hate Blue Labour says:

    £605,000 – a true socialist then.

  70. 70
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Oh dear, poor old fat Tom Watson, thinks himself a top QC. Watson failed miserably to pin down Murdoch, and then reverted to typical labour spite by calling Murdoch the head of the mafia. Murdoch might be guilty, I don’t know, but Watson showed himself up for what he is, a pathetic scrounger from the tax payer.

  71. 71
    I don't need no doctor says:

    0/10 must do better.

  72. 72
    jgm2 says:

    FFS. Labour MP accuses somebody else of being a ‘mafia boss’? The party of union thugs and violent anti-government marches?

    ‘Projection’ I believe it’s called.

  73. 73
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Watson the hypocrite, isn’t labour controlled by the union mafia?

  74. 74
    I don't need no doctor says:

    And maybe tax evaders. Does Polly pay all the tax she should? Let’s see the transparency Polly.

  75. 75
    nell says:

    How many £thousands is he paying polly for her laughable twaddle every year?

    Get rid of polly and in the process get a bit more respect for the guardian and use her saved salary to treat the staff to a slap up lunch. benefit all round. simple!

  76. 76
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Can anyone else hear a rumbling from the Murdoch committee. Could it be Watson’s stomach(s), after all he hasn’t eaten for two hours.

  77. 77
    MrAngry61 says:

    In Bedfordshire too.

  78. 78

    Christmas is pro Israel? Are you sure?

  79. 79
    JH says:

    Drop the ‘Against Crusades’ bit and we can really get this country back on track.

  80. 80
    Tom Watson MP says:

    Labour hates the News International Mafia. Labour have always hated the News International Mafia.

  81. 81
    MrAngry61 says:

    Don’t be silly – they’re traitors, not foreigners.

  82. 82
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Brendan Barber hath jutht phoned me, he thaid, “thay no, thay ‘my party ith not controlled by the unionth’.” Thothe were hith exact wordth.

  83. 83
    jgm2 says:

    If I were Polly I’d set up an offshore company to sell articles to the Grauniad. Then I’d make the commissioning folk at the Grauniad aware of this exciting offshore company through which they might, in future, wish to purchase my articles.

    The Grauniad would then send a cheque payable to PollyWritesUtterShit Ltd (British Virgin Islands) and the cash would then remain in the company, in the Virgin Islands, until such time as the directors felt like making a dividend payment.

    I might also spend less than 90 days a year in the UK and declare myself non-resident in the UK on account of my overseas home thus avoiding tax completely.

    But I’m sure Polly doesn’t do anything like that.

  84. 84
    jgm2 says:


    You’re a braver man than me.

  85. 85
    MrAngry61 says:

    I can understand the 600K emoluments – but what did the 5 grand relate to?

  86. 86
    WVM says:


  87. 87
    jgm2 says:

    And the banks. Labour has always hated News International and the banks.

    Look over there!!! Bankers! And Murdoch!!!

    Don’t mention the economy!!!

  88. 88
    SouthEastVoter says:

    I think you will find that the loss is because of government cuts. They are too far and too fast. The government needs to bail out the Guardian like Gordon saved the world (that’s going well).

    This will then give me an excuse next year to put up a tent outside an erroneous building when Alan Rusbridger gets his bonus again next year.

  89. 89
    jgm2 says:


    Good one.

  90. 90
    Anon says:

    Exactly. I stopped reading the Independent’s site because it insults its readership by publishing shite by Johann Hari and Laurie Penny, I stopped reading the Telegraph (paper) because it insults me with Bryony Gordon. I don’t read the Guardian (web or paper) because it employs Moonbat, Pollytwaddle and various other Marxist mongs.

  91. 91
    Tom Watson MP says:

    Labour hate the banks. Labour have always hated the banks.

    Under a Labour government, scum such as Sir Fred Goodwin would never have received a knighthood.

  92. 92
    Use a Pun, Go to Gaol says:

    A Bronx cheer more likely.

  93. 93
    jgm2 says:

    I stopped reading The Telegraph after Auberon Waugh died and they got that Craig Brown in.

    Craig Brown is to comedy what Rich and Mark are to the cartoon industry.

  94. 94
    Beness says:

    You should have a look now and again to see the roasting some of these moonbats get.

    Apart from the usual tribalists there are some good knock downs from other commenters.

  95. 95
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    +1000. NO class. Embarrassing to watch.

  96. 96
    Hava Nagila says:

    It must be. Christmas is bad because white people like it. If it’s bad and especially if it’s bad because white people like it, it must be pro-Israel.

    The fact you would ask that question makes me wonder if you’re a homophobic, racist, classist, Islamophobic, anti-Semitic Israel-lover too.

  97. 97
    I Got Bored Of Having A Hundred Monikers.... says:

    True I only read CIF for the comments to articles and arguments that erupt to be honest.

  98. 98
    Technomist says:

    If only Mr Pickles would do something to prevent the £1.5million of taxpayers’ money being blown in the coming year on Christmas and other jollies by the leader of Waltham Forest Council in the hope of bolstering his failing and, many people believe, corrupted administration.

  99. 99
    will says:

    Polly enjoy the sun as you reflect that italy is F***k*d finance wise. If labour had got in so would we. As you do not realise that eventually you cannot borrow you way out for ever at some point people wise up and ask if they are going to get thier money back.

    Hope the guardian has to sell its second hand car rag for money shortly.

  100. 100
    will says:

    Socialist like polly never pay for anything. Its all freebies or taxis on account. that why they do not understand while individuals who work late in london need cars instead of using the frightbus

  101. 101
    will says:

    maybe all the demonstrators should pitch up outside the guardian to complain about the unpaid interns whilst the CEO has a fat salary.

  102. 102
    will says:

    with the guadian falling readership, the paper sells 232,566 per day losing 16.28% readership per year after axing foreign sales (before it was 12%.).
    ( How long before the guardian introduces its own paywall, i reckon about march next year.

  103. 103
    CT says:

    Some hacks will, doubtless, organise their own Christmas repast in defiance of the Rubbisher hair shirt.

    Those with three homes will be spoilt for choice as to which cuisine they should follow but this is how Tuscan Toynbee can indulge herself in traditional fare while sneering at the serfs from her ivory/terracotta tower:

    “The Christmas meal usually starts with “Crostini di Fegato” followed by the “Tortellini al brodo” which are tortellini cooked in good meat stock, served with freshly grated Parmigiano cheese on top.

    The main meal consists of both a platter of “gran bollito”, which are quality pieces of boiled beef (whose stock you use for the tortellini) with dipping sauces, with a side dish of roasted vegetables. Another option for a main dish is the “Arista alla Fiorentina” or Florentine roast pork. Oranges or tangerines usually follow this main dish, to “clean” the palate before finishing off with dessert.

    Dessert is often a “panettone” or “pandoro” (both common across Italy) or panforte or ricciarelli (common sweets across Italy but whose origin is from Siena, Tuscany).”

    It’s all SO much more civilised than the standard turkey fare beloved of those ghastly British oiks she leaves behind…

  104. 104
    WOTAN LIVES says:

    LOL, the Guardian have been running articles about he myth of banning Christmas, and now they ban Christmas.

  105. 105
    bah humbug says:

    Fresh air on a plate for them then.

  106. 106
    IED Detector Man says:


  107. 107
    The Guardian in brainwashing crap. says:

    Riaz Butt can enjoy a salad instead. I aint paying for their Xmas dinner when I can barely afford my own. They can heat up their own shit in a microwave and have that.

  108. 108
    Memo to the Guardian Staff says:

    If you want Xmas dinner then queue up at the back of Tesco by the bins. Polly is already there.

  109. 109
    Mark Skid says:

    Not for long. David Cameron and his band of merry men are forging ahead with plans to concrete over as much of West Sussex as possible, all to make way for the third world hordes. They are going to have to build seven cities the size of Birmingham in the next ten years just to accommodate the official increase in population, let alone the real one.

  110. 110
    Tweed says:

    Hardly surprising that a 4 by2 might hate Christmas.

  111. 111
    Really? says:

    I’m suddenly reminded of the South American dictatorship which used to execute dissidents and then charge their families for the bullets.

  112. 112
    Really? says:

    Self-immurement behind a paywall? Can’t see it happening – they’ve got their eye on becoming the leading online voice for liberals in the US, where they’re toe-to-toe with the Daily Mail for market share.

  113. 113
    Old Crone says:

    You seriously think that its readership – students, the hard-up twenty somethings, BBC employees – will pay to read it? Then again, I suppose most of them are middle class and loaded… it sure isn’t the working class who buy it, is it.

  114. 114
    Channel 4 Staff says:

    Oi! The Tesco Bins are reserved for the Channel 4 staff and fully booked until the New Year.

  115. 115
    Die, Euro! Die! says:

    BBC & Guardian : Axis of Evil

  116. 116
    Riazat Butt says:

    If more people buy the Guardian then the newsroom can have Christmas lunch.

    If the Guardian was better then wouldn’t more people buy it?

  117. 117
    Maulana Karenga says:

    Wouldn’t they be more comfortable with kwanzaa anyways?

  118. 118
    a taxidermist says:

    “Sugeni Patani” – is that an anagram of ‘spasticated mong’?

  119. 119
    Lucia Walker says:


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