Friday Caption Contest (Digital Engagement Edition)
Labour’s Quiet Digital Revolution – Alex Smith
A niche one this week, but a bottle of Glenfiddich for the wittiest winner…
Cameron is Having a Shocker | Iain Martin
UKIP Still Back Flat Tax | London Loves Business
Dave Will Probably Win in 2015 | Dan Hodges
EU’s Tax Harmonisation Agenda | Dan Hannan
Tories Have Always Sneered at Party Faithful | Simon Heffer
French Youth Fleeing Socialism | Reason
Councils Should Not Blow Cash Subsidising Arts | Harry Phibbs
Old Holborn on Twitter Exile | Backbencher
Attorney General Warns Press Over Rebekah & Andy | Media Guido
UKIP Pros and Cons | Allister Heath
“The Double Income No Kids Existence” | Alex Deane
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Ai Weiwei in China fighting the taxman…
“Under totalitarian rule, no one is protected by law. We will all be the same helpless victims. When a country insists on its lies, it’s time for an artist to bring forth change.”
Ah! Monika says:
Google-eyed-Dave
“After smear gate i was told to man up”
“Looks like we both have a hard on”
Dolly subjects another unfortunate victim to an unpleasant smear.
Eeh, Ah know it meks me sound like a dirty racist, but some of my best friends are Brown you know.
Dolly Drooper to Kevin Magliar*: “Eeh Kev, I’m getting a right lard on with thee”
* Surely no one else would get that close to Droopy, not even Kate Garraway…
Ivor’s favourite Dolly story: Piers Morgan, on learning that Dolly was seeing Kate Garraway said “If I’d known the bar was set that low I’d have had a go myself”! Arf, arf!
Good line Real Estate Cult – I will steal it and repost it at comment 100 below
Billy is Johann Hari
Very clever. Definitely not the real Billy though.
On publication of this photo, Kate Garraway reversed her position and now supports cloning as a way for Dolly to reproduce
He spelt it correctly
Dolly congratulates Labour Supporter on passing his Pro-State exam.
A: What you see is what you get, 22 stone and lots of sweat.
B: Failed psychotherapist, gets pissed and goes off piste.
C: Lardon gets man munchy.
Dolly closes his eyes and imagines he’s cuddling Kevin Maguire
Ee’sh my besht mate
Man blurs himself to avoid being papped with Dolly.
Ali McCoist my hero, my favourite scotsman after gordon the tartan pimpernel. Where,s he at these days.
“Dolly on the casting couch of the next all woman shortlist”
zing
Was that really you Billy, or is it one of your fakes. It is quite funny – suggesting that it must be one of the fakes.
Unfortunately, each person is only allowed one entry and Billy’s first one was as crap as usual.
… but his next 40 are really funny
Really funny?
Ah – like Marcus Brigstocke is really funny?
…his next 60, not so funny
My first entry was crap as well.
Er.. surely Movember is just the moustache?
Dolly meets only man who hasn’t shagged his wife
I haven’t but would like to.
And for my next song.: “Buddy can you spare a dime..” ..please?
Dear ol’ palsh, jolly ol’ pals….S(w)inging togevva in orl kindsa wevva, dear ol’ palsh, jolly ol’…. Hic
Draper by name – draper by nature
Am I alone it not knowing who these two people are?
Guido: I hope you gave the photographer good money for having to spend time in a room with a pissed and smiling Draper.
Not exactly what I had in mind.
When do you get the gastric band, Derek?
Kate Garraway has changed!!
”Psychotherapize this”
Drunken tramp molests Assange.
And when the door to the five ‘spacemen’ was finally opened after a 520 day experiment, there were only two of them. Hmmn…
Dolly’s psychotherapy patient demands a refund.
“the Jack Dromey look-a-like contest gets off to a good start”
What does “Zing” mean?
It means do you like whiskey?
Is this your week, Billy?
Rule 1 of caption contest : Under no circumstnces must Billy Bowden win caption contest.
Rule 2 : If in doubt see rule 1 .
Nothing wrong with a bit Whisky.
Rule 3. Under no circumstances will Billy post something amusing.
Rule 3 : There is no rule 3 .
Rule 4 : Under no circumstances must Billy Bowden win caption contest .
Rule 5 : No loofas .
Billy the Gnome* Rules.
#1 Post a load of shit.
#2 ?????????
#3 Win the caption Competition!
*Hope you get the South Park reference.
Heh, Leave my new beau alone, Kate and I couldn’t come to terms on ‘brown love’.
and I stole his white cane!
This is the last time I come to this dump for Shiatsu.
Car crash interview from Sarkozy.
Dolly. “bail me out and I’ll pay you in Euros.”
Get your hands off me you fat smelly c*nt.
Psycho and the rapist
A new play about the new new new new Labour parteh.
“When the escort agency said they would send a real dolly I was really disappointed that they meant this twat.”
“Drapers reunion in Berkly is a small and private affair”
“My friends has no nose..”
“How does he smell?”
“No. I mean he actually has no nose..take a look.”
Draper isn’t doing well at his AA meeting.
The ‘Daily Politics’ couch has really dumbed down in recent weeks.
Relax. He may have an unhealthy obsession with me but even he wouldn’t put a spycam in my house.
Gerrof you fat lazy Cun t! Don’t drop an E and try coming on to me, you’re married!
I’m not married.
Oh ok, meet in the back yard under the apple tree in five…
Do you think I’m fat, young man?
“Dolly homemade version of “if you tolorate this then you children will be next” goes down like a lead ballon”
Pull the Drapes over the Toilet
May you have a Smith Foundation…
I’ts an Institute! An Institute!
The SMITH INSTITUTE!
And it DR Dolly if you don’t mind.
I didn’t send $38.99+tax for a diploma from California for nothing.
Asda George everyday office shirt -£11.99
Tesco ‘anytime’ jeans – £4.50
Silver wedding band – £18.99
Back in the Labour parties embrace -Priceless
{Priceless for GF&co anyway}
Brilliant!
I don’t like the look of yours much.
everbody out!
Is that the fat fucker Fawkes on the right?
In this week’s Hello!
Jonny Vegas and Julian Assange show us around their beautiful love nest.
Looks more like the monkey in that pic.
Derek make up with Anton
Labour to tighten belts
“Mr D Raper, I presume?”
Lol.
He’s a psycho-the-rapist.
“Lying twat said he used to work for the PM”
Don’t think twice its all right.
paunch and rudie
Embarressed? I can always remove my ring if it facilitates matters.
“Here’s another one I smeared”
Dolly auditions for “strickly cum Dancing”
well hello dolly
Alex, I think people are onto us again. Only yesterday Kate said: “considering you two are a pair of c**ts you really should get smear tested’ “
“Anon Leaker in Hermain Cain affiar found”
More please Billy – you are really funny
The asylum have been on the phone, dear. Can they please have their keys back?
How can links get tired?
Take your tablets Anonymong and go pick on some-one else you pathetic bully.
I love shex in the shitty
go to work on an oaf
“He’sh my bestesh mate, is wotishname”.
“Who’s that prick draped over my shoulder?”
Dolly engages from the left.
or
Dolly talks RAM.
or
Drapers checks shirt to see if it lifts
or
Dolly attempts to reach a wider community.
No. 3 not bad, drop the rest
Stripes are so much more flattering for the figure.Don’t you agree?…*Hic*
“thanks for lending me that fiver, Hic!”
more please
Arseh*le
“Louise! Louise! Louise! Lou-ise! Nooooooo……..”
And this is not my only precious ring.
ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz
Stars of Duck Soup remake relax after piss-poor day’s filming
Excitement at minions conference as master is seen to be saying hello to all minions.
I’m either really drunk or I’m hallucinating this Hunt.
tosser and dosser
http://www.nfpjob.co.uk/job_details.php?vid=86934
Only those with a hollow cause background may apply
Can’t see it mention missing-foreskin checks in the ad?
“Little and large”
Enjoyment as Cameron is announced as next Liebour leader.
new blog
labour pissed
im not reely a dolly
“it takes two to tango”
So I says to er “Kat…Kate you might ferking put the food on the table but remember I know people…I know…people….Fukinwazitalkinabout”
Fancy a spot of badger watching?
Two hippies remember old times when the only thing they had to remember was not getting caught out.
“Move over there is room for two on this sofa”
Gent in the blue shirt
“This application does not support Microsoft Internet Explorer 6. Please use a different browser.”
Fake – see the monkier
Yeah. This one was funny.
He not playing anymore
Tick tick tick, reddy eddy has just added a time bomb to his staff.
Fat bastard having a grope.
looking at the cock of the day
Have you seen my wives great boobs?
No, but I can see yours dolly …
“Sho..wha’?..Losh of..losh of guys wear their wife’s underwear..”
“Possibly..But not normally the bra though..”
I take it back.Kate didn’t set the bar too low otherwise that fat C*nt wouldn’t have got under it.
He man watch your hands, I know you’ve got a reputation for smearing things!
Minus the typo, that should read:
Hey man watch your hands, I know you’ve got a reputation for smearing things!
See comment 67 above
67 Real Estate Cult says:
November 4, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Dolly subjects another unfortunate victim to an unpleasant smear.
who gives a toss.
I didn’t read all the comments, so I messed that posting. Things to do during the day and all that.
Johann Hari’s comeback interview was going to need some serious ‘polishing’ if he was going to be able to submit quotes in anything other than drunken gibberish.
“dolly caught i n the act of smearing again”
is a bit like comment 67 above
67 Real Estate Cult says:
November 4, 2011 at 1:59 pm
Dolly subjects another unfortunate victim to an unpleasant smear.
i did not see that coment
Is Billy Bowden a moniker for Johann Hari?
No, it’s David Rose.
Look at me I’m Sandra Dee…………
“I see dead people”
Guido will you please post something else. This is boring.
i am havin a great time
Why dont you take a full refund, fuck off and find a life
Winner…!!!!
Its not Guido’s site which is tedious, it is you who makes it so.
It was a fake, as are about 50% of the “Billy Bowden” posts!
Fake
Can you really return the deposit Billy? Amazing
Self important fat bloke poses for stupid photo while drunk
Ahhhh, don’t they look a lovely couple
Navy guys swapping semen stories
Dolly exhausted after saying
” I’m a nihilist at heart, always have been. I see people as individuals but realize that the majority see themselves as part of one group or another. There is no cure for the mass behaviour modification which has been inflicted on us… and at this point where the elites seem to be racing to carry through their agendas before events overtake them the support of the majority of “citizens” will carry us all into another global conflict. I watched question time last night and as usual was disgusted at the support these so called thinkers get for their fear inducing warmonger stance. They threaten us all with disaster if we question the status quo while dragging us all towards annihilation. Do we deserve to survive?”
Dolly turned Wally
“I’m sorry, but there’s just no demand for a Wurzels tribute band” snapped Mr Feinstein.
*BERLUSCONI SAYS HE THANKED IMF FOR MONETARY OFFER; `NOT NEEDED’
*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY REFUSED MONETARY HELP FROM IMF
*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY NOT GIVING UP ANY SOVEREIGNTY TO IMF
*BERLUSCONI SAYS IT’S `MENTALLY ILL’ TO ABANDON MAJORITY
*BERLUSCONI SAYS PARLIAMENTARY REBELS WILL RETURN TO FOLD
*BERLUSCONI SAYS HE CONTINUES TO HAVE `SOLID MAJORITY’
*BERLUSCONI SAYS NO OTHER FIGURE IN ITALY CAN LEAD COUNTRY
*BERLUSCONI SAYS HE FEELS `OBLIGED’ TO CARRY ON IN OFFICE
*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY HAS NEVER HAD TROUBLE SERVICING DEBT
*BERLUSCONI SAYS DEBT NEVER PRESENTED PROBLEMS UNTIL NOW
*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALIAN BANKS ARE SOLID, THRIFTY FAMILIES
*BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY HAS `HEREDITARY’ HIGH DEBT
*BERLUSCONI SAYS ‘I lie whenever my lips move’
That last one’s true, but B didn’t say it.
He learned from the master.
I taught him on our shared holidays.
Very soon Berlusconi’s opinions are going to matter even less than they do now.
Italy is f*cked. It’s only a matter of time.
actually it is France which is f*ck*ed
History repeats itself,
Berlusconi gets rescued from a mountain top, a daring raid by SS Storm Troopers, whisked away in Fieseler Storch to G20 meeting in Cannes, but pragmatism should tell him it’s only a matter of time before he gets strung up on a lamp post by his people.
Rep*at.
History rep*ats itself,
Berlusconi gets rescued from mountain top, a daring raid by SS Storm Troopers, whisked away in Fieseler Storch to G20 meeting in Cannes, but pragmatism should tell him it’s only a matter of time before he gets strung-up on a lamp post by his own people.
I hate Pe’as
Labour listing
Derek Draper (failed writer) stars in his first gay porn film ‘Rum,bum and a slash’
My preciousssss.
If you’re a pal of ed miliband’s will you tell him how good I’d be running a website for him?
“Dolly finally gets his own sockpuppet”
Get your own monkier
“Dolly goes campiaging for the local erections”
Fake, get your own monkier
You’re so pathetic. Are you from the local funny farm?
Draper’s Tool
Sissors
My ring is feeling surprisingly tight.
Labour hold a farewell party for Brown’s old chum the Draper.
now THIS would have been a much better choice for the caption competition
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/g20-summit/8867817/The-eurozone-crisis-cant-hide-George-Osbornes-shortcomings-for-ever.html
Very much so. But they’ve already got their own winner there in the url/headline.
Did they do that on purpose?
So nice to see “strong leadership” from the World’s leaders….2 days in Cannes and nothing very much to show for it….except rhetoric….and absolute bucket loads of bullshit from “Dave” about not allowing the British Taxpayer to put monies into euro bail out via IMF…..so that’s definite then…British Taxpayers will be contributing to bailing out the eurozone before Xmas……
And no vote in Parliament either..it seems
Q: Will there be a vote in the Commons on any future contribution to the IMF?
Cameron says there has already been a vote follow the last decision to increase Britain’s contributions. That vote allowed for some “headroom”. Any extra contribution would be within that headroom.
• Cameron says there will be no parliamentary vote on any decision to increase Britain’s contributions to the IMF.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/nov/04/g20-leaders-eurozone-crisis-live-coverage
Backdoor Dolly
Alex Smith pulls trollied Dolly
Single Malt. Very nice. It looks like the Draper has already swallowed it. Guido, I would check your drinks cabinet if I were you. You can’t trust these Labour fucks up with anything. They would sell their own or other people’s children if they thought they could profit from it.
Looks more like a urine sample to me.
Dolly had clearly taken the “I hate myself and want a pie” route after being sacked by Gordon Brown.
Alex Smith to Dolly
“What do you do if Kate Garroway starts smoking?
Dolly to Alex Smith
“Use some lube”.
“let’s do it like they do it on the discovery channel”
dolly draper drunk.
Male Grooming
Derek tries to butter up the neighbours following Kate’s bust-up with them over their new extension.
Arsehole arseholed
Cum the revolution…
Pressed before the mast!
Ug against the derrick.
Washing his hair in chip fat hadn’t been one of Dolly’s better ideas.
After Gordon you are my bestest friend
Lord Charles had really let himself go over the years!
Gockle o geer, gockle o geer!
Is the window-licker looking guy from the Sunshine bus saying to his carer, “You be Laurel, I’ll be Hardy, and then I can say, that’s another fine mess you’ve got me into.”
anti surveillance: if you shake your face you come out blury
Kate Garraway’s third tit exposed.
Fat dishevelled mong molests person unknown.
Derek and his lovely wife Kate Garroway smooching the night away.
Dolly, “They say so many people die because of alcohol . . . perhaps they don’t realise how many of us are born because of it.”
I thought vertical stripes were meant to be slimming?
they are!
Dolly [In vino veritas] : “I was fucking my secretary up the arse when Kate walked in. She said, “You can’t do this to me!” I said, “I know… that’s why I’m doing it to her.”
Du yah know if that Guido Git comes in here I’m gonna shove a bottle of Glenfiddich up his arse!
Blurred today. Gone tomorrow.
OR: A labour of love.
Is it them out of Dumber & Bummer,….* Ben Doone & Phil Mc Kracken*
Well is Big Fat Tipsy Wedding…..(.du’no then)
The picture photoshop was designed for…
Labour isn’t Wanking.
Dolly: “You know you’re fat when no one mentions you’re a northern, Labour voting tosser.”
“mate- did you read about that Scots couple in Florida- hic- well let me phone Kate to see if she can get down here- hic – geddit- down here- I’m here all week”
Dolly: “I’m so drunk, I’m pissing tequila.”
Kev: “I’m not falling for that one again . . .”
Bloke on left: So what exactly did you used to do for Gordon Brown?
DD: Just pull your pants down and I’ll show you
So I sed to Gordon “Yerra a sweaty sock anna wuneyed wan ker”. What did he say back? I’ll tell yer – he sedd “Dolly. You shoulda bin in Thunderbirds cos I can see yar bloody strings!”. Mind you that’s wot Anton sed azwell. Didn’t mek me larf unles they ment me vest. They should see a proppa headshrinkk or joke writa.
By the way, It’s yor round.
I luvv you.
“Oh, my God! Either he’s got a gun in his pocket and he wants to shoot me… or he has a HUGE erection! Oh, god! Shoot me, please! Shoot me!”
I’m feeling a little quееr.
‘Ere Wally – gesssh wot – hive jushgivn pollyone – shesed ssshe wuz pissht but v-v-veri v-v-verri, v-v-Verri, v-v-verri, v-v-verri gwratefool; ushud givitwun – shees in’t bar under our Ed
Dolly says to smearface, ‘Well, since Kate had the baby, she’s completely gone off sex…’
“Shall we take the William Hague suite?”
Help – I’m being Draped
‘Did I tell you about his wife..?’
‘I ’m a pissed arse Bullshitter myself, but I like to hear a professional at it. So please continue!!’
Sing, Sing and slip on the ring
The cockney definition of a Berkeley Hunt.
“Soo Wee”.. Duelling Bandits?
Draper by name …
“Well Hello, Dolly,
It’s so nice to have you back where you belong
You’re looking swell, Dolly,
We can tell, Dolly,
You’re still glowin’, you’re still crowin’
You’re still goin’ strong.
We feel the room swayin’
For the band’s playin’
One of your old fav’rite songs from ‘way back when, so…”
Promise you’ll never go away again.
Say no more. Did anyone think that useless turd had actually gone away.
Garraway should have gone to spec savers…
The fat twat
Spot the lardarse
Always looking forward to having brown on the end.
‘There’s something of the night’ with Derek…but then he likes to get up (..Kate?) at Daybreak! And furthermore, stop butchering my music, Draper-it should only be me who sounds as though someone has swallowed a pack of razorblades!!!
Dolly off his Bolly Trolley
Never accept Dolly Mixtures from strangers. Never accept strange mixtures from Dolly.
Good Golly Miss Molly doesn’t Dolly look like Polly.
By the way an anagram of Dolly Draper – “Old Lardy Rep”
Inside every fat fucking socialist are two thin fucking socialists trying to get out and spend their gyros.
“Seems like a nice boy….I give him one up right up his *se later
as he’s given me a throbbing big corn on the cobb”
I don’t know what that fat fucker thinks he’s doing but he needs to get his fat greasy mitts off my dad!
PRESSing the flesh.
you should not cultivate round your face , what you freely cultivate round ones arse
who the fuck are these people?
Dolly looking for a pink pounding
Labour lists to the right
And, then there was the time that I shafted Gordon Brown, after Tony had finished with him, that is.
Guido, …Mi Mam se’z, are you coming round to put your Tent Pole up in her Garden????
The stripes on my shirt used to be thin and close together like yours.
I woke up ,with my Pant’s on Back to front
Dolly with a wally.
Taxi driver terminology.
I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making an illegal u-turn
There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
Its a complete Miliband – They don’t know what they’re doing
If you want to make the airport, I’ll have to Huhne it. – I shall exceed the speed limit.I will require a bribe.
Get a move on – Its Lucas! Are you a bit Gordon? – Please proceed. The traffic lights are green. Is your vision impaired?
All Ken’s are C’unts I am not an admirer of either Ken Livingstone or Kenneth Clarke.
Hello..looks like Boris got here first. – I can see a pregnant lady
Vocabulary
A Mini-Cooper – A ladyboy
An Eddie – Traffic Warden
A Shoesmith – A nice tip
A Tom Watson – A prostitute
A Tether – A pointless diversion
A HOC – An expense.. commonly used with the adj Prezza. As in “That meal was Prezza. {enourmous}. I”d need a HOC to pay for it {it was expensive. I wish the taxpayer would pay for it.}
Taxi driver terminology.
I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing
If you want to make the airport, I’ll have to Huhne it. – I shall exceed the spe’ed limit.I will require a bribe.
Get a move on – Its Lucas! Are you a bit Gordon? – Please proce’ed. The traffic lights are green. Is your vision impaired?
All Ken’s are C’unts .. I am not an admirer of either Ken Livingstone or Kenneth Clarke.
Hello..looks like Boris got here first. – I can see a preg’nant lady
Vocabulary
A Mini-Cooper – A ladyboy
An Eddie – Traffic Warden
A Shoesmith – A nice tip
A Tom Watson – A prostitute
A Tether – A pointless diversion
A HOC – An expense.. commonly used with the adj Prezza. As in “That meal was Prezza. {enourmous}. I”d need a HOC to pay for it {it was expensive. I wish the taxpayer would pay for it.}
Taxi driver terminology.
I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing
If you want to make the airport, I’ll have to Huhne it. – I shall exc’e'ed the spe’ed limit.I will require a bribe.
Get a move on – Its Lucas! Are you a bit Gordon? – Please proce’ed. The traffic lights are green. Is your vision impaired?
All Ken’s are C’unts .. I am not an admirer of either Ken Livingstone or Kenneth Clarke.
Hello..looks like Boris got here first. – I can see a preg’nant lady
Vocabulary
A Mini-Cooper – A ladyboy
An Eddie – Traffic Warden
A Shoesmith – A nice tip
A Tom Watson – A prostitute
A Tether – A pointless diversion
A HOC – An expense.. commonly used with the adj Prezza. As in “That meal was Prezza. {enourmous}. I”d need a HOC to pay for it {it was expensive. I wish the taxpayer would pay for it.}
Taxi driver terminology.
I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing
I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing
‘Learn BlackCab’
I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing
‘Learn BlackCab’
I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing
If you want to make the airport, I’ll have to Huhne it. – I shall exc’e’ed the spe’ed limit.I will require a bribe.
Get a move on – Its Lucas! Are you a bit Gordon? – Please proce’ed. The traffic lights are green. Is your vision impaired?
All Ken’s are C’unts .. I am not an admirer of either Ken Livingstone or Kenneth Clarke.
Hello..looks like Boris got here first. – I can see a preg’nant lady
Vocabulary
A Mini-Cooper – A ladyboy
An Eddie – Traffic Warden
A Shoesmith – A nice tip
A Tom Watson – A prostitute
A Tether – A pointless diversion
A HOC – An expense.. commonly used with the adj Prezza. As in “That meal was Prezza. {enourmous}. I”d need a HOC to pay for it {it was expensive. I wish the taxpayer would pay for it.}