November 4th, 2011

Friday Caption Contest (Digital Engagement Edition)


254 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “After smear gate i was told to man up”

  2. 2
    Tax Payer says:

    Ee’sh my besht mate

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Dolly on the casting couch of the next all woman shortlist”

  4. 4
    I Squiggle says:

    Er.. surely Movember is just the moustache?

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    Dolly meets only man who hasn’t shagged his wife

  6. 6
    I Squiggle says:

    And for my next song.: “Buddy can you spare a dime..” ..please?

  7. 7
    Who the fuck is the thin one ? says:

    Draper by name – draper by nature

  8. 8
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Guido: I hope you gave the photographer good money for having to spend time in a room with a pissed and smiling Draper.

  9. 9
    Paul Anka says:

    Not exactly what I had in mind.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    When do you get the gastric band, Derek?

  11. 11
  12. 12
    Baron Von Richterscale says:

    Kate Garraway has changed!!

  13. 13
    Steve Miliband says:

    ”Psychotherapize this”

  14. 14
    Zeno says:

    Drunken tramp molests Assange.

  15. 15
    I Squiggle says:

    And when the door to the five ‘spacemen’ was finally opened after a 520 day experiment, there were only two of them. Hmmn…

  16. 16
    Sue says:

    Dolly’s psychotherapy patient demands a refund.

  17. 17
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “the Jack Dromey look-a-like contest gets off to a good start”

    What does “Zing” mean?

  18. 18
    rotten cripple says:

    Heh, Leave my new beau alone, Kate and I couldn’t come to terms on ‘brown love’.

    and I stole his white cane!

  19. 19
    touchy feely says:

    This is the last time I come to this dump for Shiatsu.

  20. 20
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Car crash interview from Sarkozy.

    Dolly. “bail me out and I’ll pay you in Euros.”

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    It means do you like whiskey?

    Is this your week, Billy?

  22. 22
    vladikavkaz says:

    Get your hands off me you fat smelly c*nt.

  23. 23
    rotten cripple says:

    Psycho and the rapist

    A new play about the new new new new Labour parteh.

  24. 24
    Henry Crun says:

    “When the escort agency said they would send a real dolly I was really disappointed that they meant this twat.”

  25. 25
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Drapers reunion in Berkly is a small and private affair”

  26. 26

    “My friends has no nose..”

    “How does he smell?”

    “No. I mean he actually has no nose..take a look.”

  27. 27
    Sue says:

    Draper isn’t doing well at his AA meeting.

  28. 28
    vladikavkaz says:

    The ‘Daily Politics’ couch has really dumbed down in recent weeks.

  29. 29
    Jimmy says:

    Relax. He may have an unhealthy obsession with me but even he wouldn’t put a spycam in my house.

  30. 30
    jenny talia says:

    Gerrof you fat lazy Cun t! Don’t drop an E and try coming on to me, you’re married!

    I’m not married.

    Oh ok, meet in the back yard under the apple tree in five…

  31. 31
    Oldrightie says:

    Do you think I’m fat, young man?

  32. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Dolly homemade version of “if you tolorate this then you children will be next” goes down like a lead ballon”

  33. 33
    IBOGAINE says:

    Pull the Drapes over the Toilet

  34. 34
    vladikavkaz says:

    May you have a Smith Foundation…

  35. 35

    Asda George everyday office shirt -£11.99
    Tesco ‘anytime’ jeans – £4.50
    Silver wedding band – £18.99

    Back in the Labour parties embrace -Priceless

    {Priceless for GF&co anyway}

  36. 36
    vladikavkaz says:

    I don’t like the look of yours much.

  37. 37
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Rule 1 of caption contest : Under no circumstnces must Billy Bowden win caption contest.

    Rule 2 : If in doubt see rule 1 .

    Nothing wrong with a bit Whisky.

  38. 38
    b 345t says:

    everbody out!

  39. 39
    say what you see says:

    Is that the fat fucker Fawkes on the right?

  40. 40
    yeah, right.. says:

    In this week’s Hello!

    Jonny Vegas and Julian Assange show us around their beautiful love nest.

  41. 41
    Steve Miliband says:

    Derek make up with Anton

  42. 42

    Looks more like the monkey in that pic.

  43. 43
    Billy's Dirty Arse says:

    Was that really you Billy, or is it one of your fakes. It is quite funny – suggesting that it must be one of the fakes.

  44. 44
    b 34st says:

    Labour to tighten belts

  45. 45
    Old Canute says:

    “Mr D Raper, I presume?”

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    “Lying twat said he used to work for the PM”

  47. 47
    annette curton says:

    Don’t think twice its all right.

  48. 48
    b 34st says:

    paunch and rudie

  49. 49
    albatross says:

    Embarressed? I can always remove my ring if it facilitates matters.

  50. 50
    12345678910 says:

    “Here’s another one I smeared”

  51. 51
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dolly auditions for “strickly cum Dancing”

  52. 52

    Unfortunately, each person is only allowed one entry and Billy’s first one was as crap as usual.

  53. 53
    b 34st says:

    well hello dolly

  54. 54
    27feet says:

    Alex, I think people are onto us again. Only yesterday Kate said: “considering you two are a pair of c**ts you really should get smear tested’ “

  55. 55
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Anon Leaker in Hermain Cain affiar found”

  56. 56
    Dream talker says:

    I love shex in the shitty

  57. 57

    “Looks like we both have a hard on”

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    More please Billy – you are really funny

  59. 59
    b 34st says:

    go to work on an oaf

  60. 60
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    “He’sh my bestesh mate, is wotishname”.

  61. 61
    Drunk Panda says:

    “Who’s that prick draped over my shoulder?”

  62. 62
    Ghost of Greg Stone. says:

    Dolly engages from the left.
    or
    Dolly talks RAM.
    or
    Drapers checks shirt to see if it lifts
    or
    Dolly attempts to reach a wider community.

  63. 63
    Stinkfinger says:

    Stripes are so much more flattering for the figure.Don’t you agree?…*Hic*

  64. 64
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “thanks for lending me that fiver, Hic!”

  65. 65
    Jess The Dog says:

    “Louise! Louise! Louise! Lou-ise! Nooooooo……..”

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    No. 3 not bad, drop the rest

  67. 67
    annette curton says:

    And this is not my only precious ring.

  68. 68
    This is less fun than usual says:

    ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

  69. 69
    Real Estate Cult says:

    Dolly subjects another unfortunate victim to an unpleasant smear.

  70. 70
  71. 71
    BSE Productions Ltd says:

    Stars of Duck Soup remake relax after piss-poor day’s filming

  72. 72
    Well it's a thought says:

    Excitement at minions conference as master is seen to be saying hello to all minions.

  73. 73
    Neil says:

    I’m either really drunk or I’m hallucinating this Hunt.

  74. 74
    b 34st says:

    tosser and dosser

  75. 75
  76. 76
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Little and large”

  77. 77
    Well it's a thought says:

    Enjoyment as Cameron is announced as next Liebour leader.

  78. 78
    b 34st says:

    new blog

    labour pissed

  79. 79
    annette curton says:

    Lol.

  80. 80
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    im not reely a dolly

  81. 81
    Trinny says:

    Man blurs himself to avoid being papped with Dolly.

  82. 82
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “it takes two to tango”

  83. 83
    Stinkfinger says:

    So I says to er “Kat…Kate you might ferking put the food on the table but remember I know people…I know…people….Fukinwazitalkinabout”

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    … but his next 40 are really funny

  85. 85

    Fancy a spot of badger watching?

  86. 86
    Well it's a thought says:

    Two hippies remember old times when the only thing they had to remember was not getting caught out.

  87. 87
    Nurse Botha says:

    The asylum have been on the phone, dear. Can they please have their keys back?

  88. 88
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Move over there is room for two on this sofa”

  89. 89
    Billy Bowden is the world's greatest umpire! says:

    Gent in the blue shirt

    “This application does not support Microsoft Internet Explorer 6. Please use a different browser.”

  90. 90
    AC1 says:

    Dolly congratulates Labour Supporter on passing his Pro-State exam.

  91. 91
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fake – see the monkier

  92. 92
    Well it's a thought says:

    Tick tick tick, reddy eddy has just added a time bomb to his staff.

  93. 93
    anon says:

    Only those with a hollow cause background may apply

  94. 94
    Rat's arse says:

    Fat bastard having a grope.

  95. 95
    b 34st says:

    looking at the cock of the day

  96. 96
    Dugald MacMillan says:

    Have you seen my wives great boobs?

    No, but I can see yours dolly …

  97. 97
    Piers Morgan says:

    I take it back.Kate didn’t set the bar too low otherwise that fat C*nt wouldn’t have got under it.

  98. 98
    Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

    Eeh, Ah know it meks me sound like a dirty racist, but some of my best friends are Brown you know.

  99. 99
    exclamation mark of the devil says:

    Yeah. This one was funny.

  100. 100
    Up sh1t creek says:

    He man watch your hands, I know you’ve got a reputation for smearing things!

  101. 101
    Rabid Hamster says:

    Johann Hari’s comeback interview was going to need some serious ‘polishing’ if he was going to be able to submit quotes in anything other than drunken gibberish.

  102. 102
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “dolly caught i n the act of smearing again”

  103. 103
    Anonymous says:

    He not playing anymore

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    Really funny?

    Ah – like Marcus Brigstocke is really funny?

  105. 105
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Minus the typo, that should read:

    Hey man watch your hands, I know you’ve got a reputation for smearing things!

  106. 106
    Steve Miliband says:

    …his next 60, not so funny

  107. 107
    Rat's arse says:

    Look at me I’m Sandra Dee…………

  108. 108
    Pip says:

    “I see dead people”

  109. 109
    Billy is a thief says:

    is a bit like comment 67 above

    67 Real Estate Cult says:
    November 4, 2011 at 1:59 pm
    Dolly subjects another unfortunate victim to an unpleasant smear.

  110. 110
    Thrill Seeker says:

    Guido will you please post something else. This is boring.

  111. 111
    Steve Miliband says:

    Self important fat bloke poses for stupid photo while drunk

  112. 112
    Thief says:

    See comment 67 above

    67 Real Estate Cult says:
    November 4, 2011 at 1:59 pm
    Dolly subjects another unfortunate victim to an unpleasant smear.

  113. 113
    Our Denry says:

    Ahhhh, don’t they look a lovely couple

  114. 114
    Ivor Biggun says:

    Dolly Drooper to Kevin Magliar*: “Eeh Kev, I’m getting a right lard on with thee”

    * Surely no one else would get that close to Droopy, not even Kate Garraway…

    Ivor’s favourite Dolly story: Piers Morgan, on learning that Dolly was seeing Kate Garraway said “If I’d known the bar was set that low I’d have had a go myself”! Arf, arf!

  115. 115
    Martin Day says:

    Dolly exhausted after saying

    ” I’m a nihilist at heart, always have been. I see people as individuals but realize that the majority see themselves as part of one group or another. There is no cure for the mass behaviour modification which has been inflicted on us… and at this point where the elites seem to be racing to carry through their agendas before events overtake them the support of the majority of “citizens” will carry us all into another global conflict. I watched question time last night and as usual was disgusted at the support these so called thinkers get for their fear inducing warmonger stance. They threaten us all with disaster if we question the status quo while dragging us all towards annihilation. Do we deserve to survive?”

  116. 116
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Dolly turned Wally :)

  117. 117
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i am havin a great time

    Why dont you take a full refund, fuck off and find a life

  118. 118
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i did not see that coment

  119. 119
    Sir William Waad says:

    “I’m sorry, but there’s just no demand for a Wurzels tribute band” snapped Mr Feinstein.

  120. 120
    AC1 says:

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS HE THANKED IMF FOR MONETARY OFFER; `NOT NEEDED’

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY REFUSED MONETARY HELP FROM IMF

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY NOT GIVING UP ANY SOVEREIGNTY TO IMF

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS IT’S `MENTALLY ILL’ TO ABANDON MAJORITY

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS PARLIAMENTARY REBELS WILL RETURN TO FOLD

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS HE CONTINUES TO HAVE `SOLID MAJORITY’

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS NO OTHER FIGURE IN ITALY CAN LEAD COUNTRY

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS HE FEELS `OBLIGED’ TO CARRY ON IN OFFICE

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY HAS NEVER HAD TROUBLE SERVICING DEBT

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS DEBT NEVER PRESENTED PROBLEMS UNTIL NOW

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALIAN BANKS ARE SOLID, THRIFTY FAMILIES

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS ITALY HAS `HEREDITARY’ HIGH DEBT

    *BERLUSCONI SAYS ‘I lie whenever my lips move’

    That last one’s true, but B didn’t say it.

  121. 121
    Steve Miliband says:

    Labour listing

  122. 122
    Stinkfinger says:

    Derek Draper (failed writer) stars in his first gay porn film ‘Rum,bum and a slash’

  123. 123
    AC1 says:

    Can’t see it mention missing-foreskin checks in the ad?

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    Is Billy Bowden a moniker for Johann Hari?

  125. 125
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    My preciousssss.

  126. 126
    AC1 says:

    How can links get tired?

  127. 127
    AC1 says:

    He’s a psycho-the-rapist.

  128. 128
    nell says:

    If you’re a pal of ed miliband’s will you tell him how good I’d be running a website for him?

  129. 129
    Anonymous Misogynist says:

    Winner…!!!!

  130. 130
    AC1 says:

    Rule 3. Under no circumstances will Billy post something amusing.

  131. 131
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Dolly finally gets his own sockpuppet”

  132. 132

    I’ts an Institute! An Institute!
    The SMITH INSTITUTE!

    And it DR Dolly if you don’t mind.

    I didn’t send $38.99+tax for a diploma from California for nothing.

  133. 133
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Dolly goes campiaging for the local erections”

  134. 134
    Screw-Fix says:

    Draper’s Tool

  135. 135
    d raper says:

    My ring is feeling surprisingly tight.

  136. 136
    anon says:

    who gives a toss.

  137. 137
    Sue on The Run says:

    Labour hold a farewell party for Brown’s old chum the Draper.

  138. 138

    “Sho..wha’?..Losh of..losh of guys wear their wife’s underwear..”

    “Possibly..But not normally the bra though..”

  139. 139
  140. 140
    Thrill Seeker says:

    Its not Guido’s site which is tedious, it is you who makes it so.

  141. 141
    Karolidies says:

    Backdoor Dolly

  142. 142
    Tony B. Liar says:

    He learned from the master.
    I taught him on our shared holidays.

  143. 143
    anony says:

    Navy guys swapping semen stories

  144. 144
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    It was a fake, as are about 50% of the “Billy Bowden” posts!

  145. 145
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Get your own monkier

  146. 146
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fake, get your own monkier

  147. 147
    not funny says:

    Alex Smith pulls trollied Dolly

  148. 148
    Sue says:

    Single Malt. Very nice. It looks like the Draper has already swallowed it. Guido, I would check your drinks cabinet if I were you. You can’t trust these Labour fucks up with anything. They would sell their own or other people’s children if they thought they could profit from it.

  149. 149
    Josiah Bartlett says:

    Dolly had clearly taken the “I hate myself and want a pie” route after being sacked by Gordon Brown.

  150. 150
    Anonymous says:

    Very soon Berlusconi’s opinions are going to matter even less than they do now.

    Italy is f*cked. It’s only a matter of time.

  151. 151
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fake

  152. 152
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Good line Real Estate Cult – I will steal it and repost it at comment 100 below :)

  153. 153
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Very much so. But they’ve already got their own winner there in the url/headline.

    Did they do that on purpose?

  154. 154
    P.Mandevison, the Eminence Greasy says:

    My first entry was crap as well.

  155. 155
    Martin Day says:

    Alex Smith to Dolly

    “What do you do if Kate Garroway starts smoking?

    Dolly to Alex Smith

    “Use some lube”.

  156. 156
    Marmite says:

    Take your tablets Anonymong and go pick on some-one else you pathetic bully.

  157. 157

    Rule 3 : There is no rule 3 .

    Rule 4 : Under no circumstances must Billy Bowden win caption contest .

    Rule 5 : No loofas .

  158. 158
    Repeating myself says:

    Billy is Johann Hari

  159. 159
    mark says:

    “let’s do it like they do it on the discovery channel”

  160. 160
    Real Estate Cult says:

    Very clever. Definitely not the real Billy though.

  161. 161
    nell says:

    dolly draper drunk.

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    Male Grooming

  163. 163
    Marmite says:

    You’re so pathetic. Are you from the local funny farm?

  164. 164
    AC1 says:

    Billy the Gnome* Rules.

    #1 Post a load of shit.
    #2 ?????????
    #3 Win the caption Competition!

    *Hope you get the South Park reference.

  165. 165
    bergen says:

    Derek tries to butter up the neighbours following Kate’s bust-up with them over their new extension.

  166. 166
    Karolidies says:

    Arsehole arseholed

  167. 167

    Cum the revolution…

  168. 168
    anon says:

    Pressed before the mast!

  169. 169
    Karolidies says:

    Washing his hair in chip fat hadn’t been one of Dolly’s better ideas.

  170. 170
    Ivor Biggun says:

    No, it’s David Rose.

  171. 171
    Cynic says:

    After Gordon you are my bestest friend

  172. 172
    Tooth fairy says:

    Lord Charles had really let himself go over the years!

    Gockle o geer, gockle o geer!

  173. 173
    Anonymous says:

    Can you really return the deposit Billy? Amazing

  174. 174
    annette curton says:

    History repeats itself,
    Berlusconi gets rescued from a mountain top, a daring raid by SS Storm Troopers, whisked away in Fieseler Storch to G20 meeting in Cannes, but pragmatism should tell him it’s only a matter of time before he gets strung up on a lamp post by his people.

  175. 175
    Who the fuck is the other one? says:

    Am I alone it not knowing who these two people are?

  176. 176
    Cameron gives another "Cast Iron Promise" on Europe says:

    So nice to see “strong leadership” from the World’s leaders….2 days in Cannes and nothing very much to show for it….except rhetoric….and absolute bucket loads of bullshit from “Dave” about not allowing the British Taxpayer to put monies into euro bail out via IMF…..so that’s definite then…British Taxpayers will be contributing to bailing out the eurozone before Xmas……

  177. 177
    annette curton says:

    Rep*at.
    History rep*ats itself,
    Berlusconi gets rescued from mountain top, a daring raid by SS Storm Troopers, whisked away in Fieseler Storch to G20 meeting in Cannes, but pragmatism should tell him it’s only a matter of time before he gets strung-up on a lamp post by his own people.

  178. 178
    Marmite says:

    Arseh*le

  179. 179
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Is the window-licker looking guy from the Sunshine bus saying to his carer, “You be Laurel, I’ll be Hardy, and then I can say, that’s another fine mess you’ve got me into.”

  180. 180
    Weak willed liberal says:

    anti surveillance: if you shake your face you come out blury

  181. 181

    Kate Garraway’s third tit exposed.

  182. 182
    Let's not beat about the bush says:

    Fat dishevelled mong molests person unknown.

  183. 183
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Derek and his lovely wife Kate Garroway smooching the night away.

  184. 184
    Archer Karcher says:

    A: What you see is what you get, 22 stone and lots of sweat.

    B: Failed psychotherapist, gets pissed and goes off piste.

    C: Lardon gets man munchy.

  185. 185
    The lights are going out all over Europe.. says:

    And no vote in Parliament either..it seems

    Q: Will there be a vote in the Commons on any future contribution to the IMF?

    Cameron says there has already been a vote follow the last decision to increase Britain’s contributions. That vote allowed for some “headroom”. Any extra contribution would be within that headroom.

    • Cameron says there will be no parliamentary vote on any decision to increase Britain’s contributions to the IMF.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2011/nov/04/g20-leaders-eurozone-crisis-live-coverage

  186. 186
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Dolly, “They say so many people die because of alcohol . . . perhaps they don’t realise how many of us are born because of it.”

  187. 187
    the last quango in paris says:

    I thought vertical stripes were meant to be slimming?

  188. 188
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Dolly closes his eyes and imagines he’s cuddling Kevin Maguire

  189. 189
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Dolly [In vino veritas] : “I was fucking my secretary up the arse when Kate walked in. She said, “You can’t do this to me!” I said, “I know… that’s why I’m doing it to her.”

  190. 190
    Karolidies says:

    Looks more like a urine sample to me.

  191. 191
    Zorba the Geek says:

    Du yah know if that Guido Git comes in here I’m gonna shove a bottle of Glenfiddich up his arse!

  192. 192
    Alfie says:

    Blurred today. Gone tomorrow.

  193. 193
    Alfie says:

    OR: A labour of love.

  194. 194
    annomymous says:

    Is it them out of Dumber & Bummer,….* Ben Doone & Phil Mc Kracken*

  195. 195
    annomymous says:

    Well is Big Fat Tipsy Wedding…..(.du’no then)

  196. 196
    Molly says:

    The picture photoshop was designed for…

  197. 197
    smoggie says:

    Labour isn’t Wanking.

  198. 198
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Dolly: “You know you’re fat when no one mentions you’re a northern, Labour voting tosser.”

  199. 199
    Frank Kerr says:

    “mate- did you read about that Scots couple in Florida- hic- well let me phone Kate to see if she can get down here- hic – geddit- down here- I’m here all week”

  200. 200
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Dolly: “I’m so drunk, I’m pissing tequila.”

    Kev: “I’m not falling for that one again . . .”

  201. 201
    Up sh1t creek says:

    I didn’t read all the comments, so I messed that posting. Things to do during the day and all that.

  202. 202
    AC1 says:

    they are!

  203. 203
    Non-socialist worker says:

    Bloke on left: So what exactly did you used to do for Gordon Brown?
    DD: Just pull your pants down and I’ll show you

  204. 204
    Gone fishin' says:

    So I sed to Gordon “Yerra a sweaty sock anna wuneyed wan ker”. What did he say back? I’ll tell yer – he sedd “Dolly. You shoulda bin in Thunderbirds cos I can see yar bloody strings!”. Mind you that’s wot Anton sed azwell. Didn’t mek me larf unles they ment me vest. They should see a proppa headshrinkk or joke writa.
    By the way, It’s yor round.
    I luvv you.

  205. 205
    Displaced Brummie says:

    “Oh, my God! Either he’s got a gun in his pocket and he wants to shoot me… or he has a HUGE erection! Oh, god! Shoot me, please! Shoot me!”

  206. 206
    Billy Bowden, knobjockey in residence and regular pain in the arse says:

    I’m feeling a little quееr.

  207. 207
    Anonymous says:

    actually it is France which is f*ck*ed

  208. 208
    Shh ! Pollysgon ! says:

    ‘Ere Wally – gesssh wot – hive jushgivn pollyone – shesed ssshe wuz pissht but v-v-veri v-v-verri, v-v-Verri, v-v-verri, v-v-verri gwratefool; ushud givitwun – shees in’t bar under our Ed

  209. 209
    Gordon Beige says:

    Dolly says to smearface, ‘Well, since Kate had the baby, she’s completely gone off sex…’

  210. 210
    ButcombeMan says:

    “Shall we take the William Hague suite?”

  211. 211
    Ghillie says:

    Help – I’m being Draped

  212. 212
    Single Acts of Tyranny says:

    On publication of this photo, Kate Garraway reversed her position and now supports cloning as a way for Dolly to reproduce

  213. 213
    Our Denry says:

    He spelt it correctly

  214. 214
    RJC says:

    ‘Did I tell you about his wife..?’

  215. 215
  216. 216
    Our Denry says:

    Sissors

  217. 217
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    ‘I ’m a pissed arse Bullshitter myself, but I like to hear a professional at it. So please continue!!’

  218. 218
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    Sing, Sing and slip on the ring

  219. 219
    Stepney says:

    The cockney definition of a Berkeley Hunt.

  220. 220
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    I haven’t but would like to.

  221. 221
    annomymous says:

    “Soo Wee”.. Duelling Bandits?

  222. 222
    Lizzie says:

    Draper by name …

  223. 223
    Stu says:

    “Well Hello, Dolly,
    It’s so nice to have you back where you belong
    You’re looking swell, Dolly,
    We can tell, Dolly,
    You’re still glowin’, you’re still crowin’
    You’re still goin’ strong.
    We feel the room swayin’
    For the band’s playin’
    One of your old fav’rite songs from ‘way back when, so…”
    Promise you’ll never go away again.

    Say no more. Did anyone think that useless turd had actually gone away.

  224. 224
    Anonymous says:

    Garraway should have gone to spec savers…
    The fat twat

  225. 225
    Anonymous says:

    Spot the lardarse

  226. 226
    Let One Go says:

    Always looking forward to having brown on the end.

  227. 227
    Bob Dylan says:

    ‘There’s something of the night’ with Derek…but then he likes to get up (..Kate?) at Daybreak! And furthermore, stop butchering my music, Draper-it should only be me who sounds as though someone has swallowed a pack of razorblades!!!

  228. 228
    Issy Troughing MP says:

    Dolly off his Bolly Trolley

  229. 229
    Maverick Ways says:

    Never accept Dolly Mixtures from strangers. Never accept strange mixtures from Dolly.

  230. 230
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    Good Golly Miss Molly doesn’t Dolly look like Polly.
    By the way an anagram of Dolly Draper – “Old Lardy Rep”

  231. 231
    Dickythedentist says:

    Ali McCoist my hero, my favourite scotsman after gordon the tartan pimpernel. Where,s he at these days.

  232. 232
    Lilith says:

    Brilliant!

  233. 233
    Aelfric says:

    Inside every fat fucking socialist are two thin fucking socialists trying to get out and spend their gyros.

  234. 234
    Bertie Woofter.... says:

    “Seems like a nice boy….I give him one up right up his *se later
    as he’s given me a throbbing big corn on the cobb”

  235. 235
    Plink (hic) says:

    Dear ol’ palsh, jolly ol’ pals….S(w)inging togevva in orl kindsa wevva, dear ol’ palsh, jolly ol’…. Hic

  236. 236
    John McEnroe's lovechild says:

    I don’t know what that fat fucker thinks he’s doing but he needs to get his fat greasy mitts off my dad!

  237. 237
    annomymous says:

    PRESSing the flesh.

  238. 238
    annomymous says:

    you should not cultivate round your face , what you freely cultivate round ones arse

  239. 239
    selfimportant says:

    who the fuck are these people?

  240. 240
    smell the glove says:

    Dolly looking for a pink pounding

  241. 241
    rabid hamster says:

    Labour lists to the right

  242. 242
    An ITV newsreader says:

    And, then there was the time that I shafted Gordon Brown, after Tony had finished with him, that is.

  243. 243
    annomymous says:

    Guido, …Mi Mam se’z, are you coming round to put your Tent Pole up in her Garden????

  244. 244

    The stripes on my shirt used to be thin and close together like yours.

  245. 245
    anon says:

    Ug against the derrick.

  246. 246
    annomymous says:

    I woke up ,with my Pant’s on Back to front

  247. 247
    Martha says:

    Dolly with a wally.

  248. 248
    Jane Pilgrim says:

    Taxi driver terminology.

    I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making an illegal u-turn
    There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
    Its a complete Miliband – They don’t know what they’re doing
    If you want to make the airport, I’ll have to Huhne it. – I shall exceed the speed limit.I will require a bribe.
    Get a move on – Its Lucas! Are you a bit Gordon? – Please proceed. The traffic lights are green. Is your vision impaired?
    All Ken’s are C’unts I am not an admirer of either Ken Livingstone or Kenneth Clarke.
    Hello..looks like Boris got here first. – I can see a pregnant lady

    Vocabulary

    A Mini-Cooper – A ladyboy
    An Eddie – Traffic Warden
    A Shoesmith – A nice tip
    A Tom Watson – A prostitute
    A Tether – A pointless diversion
    A HOC – An expense.. commonly used with the adj Prezza. As in “That meal was Prezza. {enourmous}. I”d need a HOC to pay for it {it was expensive. I wish the taxpayer would pay for it.}

  249. 249
    Jane Pilgrim says:

    Taxi driver terminology.

    I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
    There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
    Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing
    If you want to make the airport, I’ll have to Huhne it. – I shall exceed the spe’ed limit.I will require a bribe.
    Get a move on – Its Lucas! Are you a bit Gordon? – Please proce’ed. The traffic lights are green. Is your vision impaired?
    All Ken’s are C’unts .. I am not an admirer of either Ken Livingstone or Kenneth Clarke.
    Hello..looks like Boris got here first. – I can see a preg’nant lady

    Vocabulary

    A Mini-Cooper – A ladyboy
    An Eddie – Traffic Warden
    A Shoesmith – A nice tip
    A Tom Watson – A prostitute
    A Tether – A pointless diversion
    A HOC – An expense.. commonly used with the adj Prezza. As in “That meal was Prezza. {enourmous}. I”d need a HOC to pay for it {it was expensive. I wish the taxpayer would pay for it.}

  250. 250
    Jane Pilgrim says:

    Taxi driver terminology.

    I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
    There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
    Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing
    If you want to make the airport, I’ll have to Huhne it. – I shall exc’e’ed the spe’ed limit.I will require a bribe.
    Get a move on – Its Lucas! Are you a bit Gordon? – Please proce’ed. The traffic lights are green. Is your vision impaired?
    All Ken’s are C’unts .. I am not an admirer of either Ken Livingstone or Kenneth Clarke.
    Hello..looks like Boris got here first. – I can see a preg’nant lady

    Vocabulary

    A Mini-Cooper – A ladyboy
    An Eddie – Traffic Warden
    A Shoesmith – A nice tip
    A Tom Watson – A prostitute
    A Tether – A pointless diversion
    A HOC – An expense.. commonly used with the adj Prezza. As in “That meal was Prezza. {enourmous}. I”d need a HOC to pay for it {it was expensive. I wish the taxpayer would pay for it.}

  251. 251
    Jane Pilgrim says:

    Taxi driver terminology.

    I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
    There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
    Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing

  252. 252
    Jane Pilgrim says:

    I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
    There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
    Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing

  253. 253
    Jane Pilgrim says:

    ‘Learn BlackCab’

    I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
    There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
    Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing

  254. 254
    Jane Pilgrim says:

    ‘Learn BlackCab’

    I need to do a ‘Dave’ – making a u-turn
    There’s no Vince down this way – I am unable to go right.
    Its a complete Miliband – He doesn’t know what he’s doing
    If you want to make the airport, I’ll have to Huhne it. – I shall exc’e’ed the spe’ed limit.I will require a bribe.
    Get a move on – Its Lucas! Are you a bit Gordon? – Please proce’ed. The traffic lights are green. Is your vision impaired?
    All Ken’s are C’unts .. I am not an admirer of either Ken Livingstone or Kenneth Clarke.
    Hello..looks like Boris got here first. – I can see a preg’nant lady

    Vocabulary

    A Mini-Cooper – A ladyboy
    An Eddie – Traffic Warden
    A Shoesmith – A nice tip
    A Tom Watson – A prostitute
    A Tether – A pointless diversion
    A HOC – An expense.. commonly used with the adj Prezza. As in “That meal was Prezza. {enourmous}. I”d need a HOC to pay for it {it was expensive. I wish the taxpayer would pay for it.}


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