November 1st, 2011

+ + + GDP: 0.5 + + +


  1. 1
    Op Timmy Mist says:

    Better than nothing.


  2. 2
    Tuscan Tony says:

    0.5 what – pints?


    • 10
      Double Diamond says:

      Only southern poofters drink half pints.


      • 12
        Albert Hall says:

        What about northern tosspots?


        • 20
          Outdoor Sanitation says:

          I’ts Pisspots Albert. But there aren’t so many around these days now that the northerners have copied the southerners and shit and piss inside the house instead of outside.


      • 53
        Selohesra says:

        Double Diamond was horrid, fizzy, tasteless keg rubbish – even half a pint would be too much


        • 59
          Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

          Ah. That takes you back – Double Diamond.

          And to think we used to drink that horse’s piss and enjoy it. Even nostalgia can’t make it seem good!


          • Watney's Red Barrel says:

            What’s the pointof going abroad if you’re just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Coventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, complaining about the tea – “Oh they don’t make it properly here, do they, not like at home” – and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney’s Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White’s suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh ‘cos they “overdid it on the first day.”


          • Historical fact says:

            In my day a pisspot was called a gazunda (the bed)


          • Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

            You were lucky. We didn’t have a pot to piss in.


      • 70

        Don’t take the piss out of Double Diamond. It needed all the flavour it could get.


  3. 3
    dads for two aircraft carriers says:

    Better than expected but most of that will be QE, no?


    • 11
      Desperate Dan says:

      Better than expected by the BBC doomsayers.


      • 39
        BBC Auditor says:

        We were told it would be 0.2% and so told the Toady Programme and the NEW extended World at One radio programmes amongst others.
        We need to seriously look at the quality of our paid informers in Westminster.


        • 68
          Helen Boaden, BBC Senior Comrade says:

          No problem – I’m on it… Tonight’s analysis package:

          1. Tell’em what Blinky just said
          2. Get Will Hutton on to tell’em what Blinky just said
          3. Re-run the “bosses award themselves 49% pay hike” line
          4. 15.8 second rebuttal from the most useless, incoherent tory we can find to misquote.
          5. Cut to St Paul’s to hear the vopice of the people.

          Job’s a good’un!


          • Helen Boaden, BBC Senior Comrade says:

            Bugger! Sky just asked Blinky which way the Greeks should vote!!!!

            He can hardly recommend 10 years of austerity for them and demand plan B from the Tories… I mean, that would be just absurd, right?

            How the hell am I supposed to spin this rubbish?


        • 75
          Errors and corrections says:

          Should read

          ‘We need to seriously look at the equality of our paid informers in Westminster.’


        • 118
          Fish says:

          Seriously close to zero Labour’s Newsnight reported last night, with more bad news on the way. Krusty Wark seemed to have a real spring in her step.

          Those CEBR figures, though, that they used to show that Osborne might not erradicate the deficit in two years (forgetting to mention that he always said that that target neeeded to be flexible) didn’t plot what the decifit reduction timeline would be under Balls-up’s Plan B.


    • 23
      Anonymous says:

      QE will take time, so its not QE. As thing are 0.5% is good but too good to believe.


    • 41
      M says:

      Give Prezza another credit card , that’ll boost government spending in the economy and no need for any more QE


      • 111
        Handycock no1 Trougher in Parliament says:

        I would like one too. It would also be good for international relations as I would be spending a lot of the money in Eastern Europe.


  4. 5
    6EQUJ5 says:

    @ Nell. Απάντησα με ένα σχόλιό σας για το νήμα χθες το βράδυ, αλλά ήταν modded.

    Πρόκειται για μια υπέρτατη πράξη της δημοκρατίας και του πατριωτισμού για τους ανθρώπους να κάνουν τη δική τους απόφαση …. Έχουμε καθήκον να προωθήσει το ρόλο και την ευθύνη του πολίτη. ”

    Αυτό είναι ένα «αρχηγοί κερδίζω, Γράμματα χάνεις» δήλωση του κ. Παπανδρέου. Αν ο λαός ψηφίζει για να απορρίψει το ευρώ πακέτο που αμέσως σε πτώχευση, μάλλον θα πρέπει να εγκαταλείψουν το ευρώ και να πάει πίσω σε μια υποτίμηση σχεδόν άνευ αξίας Δρχ.

    Εάν δέχονται το ευρώ πακέτο θα υποστούν σοβαρή λιτότητας μέχρι το 2020 ότι θα δούμε τους Έλληνες στην ίδια θέση που ήταν το 2010.

    Παπανδρέου είναι το πλύσιμο μόνο τα χέρια του από αυτό το καταστροφικό πρόβλημα και εξακολουθούν να παραμένουν στην εξουσία.

    Ψήφισα κατά του δημοψηφίσματος το 1975 και θα κάνει το ίδιο και πάλι εάν τους δινόταν η ευκαιρία να ψηφίσουν για να αφήσει την Ευρωπαϊκή Ένωση.
    Η ψηφοφορία για ένταξη στην ΕΕ ήταν ένα ηχηρό 2 – 1 για ακόμη μετά από 36 χρόνια δεν έχω γνωρίσει κανέναν που ψήφισαν για αυτό.

    Η καταστροφή του ευρώ και της ΕΕ θα είναι μια καταστροφή σε παγκόσμιο επίπεδο, αλλά πολύ χειρότερα για 500 εκατομμύρια ανθρώπους στην Ευρώπη.


  5. 7
    Sophie says:

    If only we had some Conservatives in the Coalition Government.


  6. 8
    Antipo-dean says:

    I knew things were bad, but GDP of 50p?


  7. 9
    Billy Bowden is the world's greatest umpire! says:

    Sack the conservative led coalition,this is a disgrace.

    Give Ed Miliband and Ed Balls a chance


    • 13
      Sophie says:

      Whilst Ed Balls remains on the front bench Labour has no economic credibility what so ever.


      • 25
        Henry Crun says:

        Balls was wanking himself into a frenzy over the weekend in the hope that the GDP announcement would be in negative figures.

        Once again he shows himself to be the student of the financial mastermind that is Gordon Brown.


        • 33
          Ed white stick Balls says:

          Okay okay. Ivé gone blind


          • Polly Seewonk says:

            Sorry to hear that but on the bright side, providing she doesn’t talk, you’ll be able to imagine your wife is:
            a – some sexy tart
            b – enjoying it.

            Will we be hearing the pitter-patter of little Balls?


      • 112
        Milton Freidman says:

        While anyone from the Labour Party sits on their front bench, they have no economic credibility whatsoever.


        • 114
          Gordon Brown says:

          They would have if I came back to sit on the front bench. I saved the world, you know, from economic devatstation.


    • 15
      Well it's a thought says:

      The only chance I would give those two, is to go down the dole office and try and get a real job.


  8. 14
    Blaster Bates says:

    Construction down by 0.6%.

    Does that mean Demolition has gone up by 0.6%?


  9. 16
    Steve Miliband says:

    Not deep enough, not fast enough


    • 29
      Nick & The LibDemBellends says:

      We need to go deeper and faster into the EU, it’s a must for no brainers like us.


  10. 19
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier says:

    Balls and Millimong, the Guardian and BBBC……

    Not Happy…how could this truth come out and be better than expected…we wanted to talk down the economy all day… we will have to talk about prezza’s credit card bill instead!


    • 72
      Historical fact says:

      They have been talking down economies all over the place all day by continually highlighting all those little red arrows. The bird presenting it (Sally is here now with..etc) must have wet underwear by now as she’s been on for the past few hours..


  11. 21
    Gordon Brown says:

    Is that better than 0%? I’m fucking clueless at economics me.


  12. 22
    Steve Miliband says:

    Well at least it’ll stop Balls doing that ridiculous ‘flat lining’ imitation at PMQ’s like a demented umpire (billy)


  13. 24
    Everyone back on the bus says:

    Sky news very disappointed at better than expected figures. Newsreader gave the game away in pursuit of a story when she said that the figures will be regraded downwards in the coming days.


  14. 34
    John Prescott says:

    I’ve only had seventy six fried breakfasts this morning.


  15. 37
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Pretty much as expected – what was interesting (as per Jeremy Warner’s article in the Telegraph this mornning) was that there was some re-balancing away from domestic consumption to results of net trade. This is to be expected with a depreciating currency but had not been observed up until now.

    Any minor pieces of good news are likely to be swamped however by the crisis engulfing the Eurozone (and it is in things like net trade figures that the economic fortunes in Europe are really important as opposed to membership of the Euro). I would expect a further slow down in Q4 as domestic consumption has stalled.


  16. 45
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  17. 46
    Gordon Brown says:

    I would have created 10 billions of percentage growth in Public Sectorism


    • 61
      Ed Balls says:

      Yep, firemen, nurses, dustmen the police and an army of government pen pushers……the true wealth creators of this country!


  18. 48
    Steve Miliband says:

    Seem to remember 2008/2009 was -7.4% when we had that minor financial blip. Who was in Govt again?


  19. 50
    Ed Miliband says:

    There must be something fundamentally wrong, when the ex postie I hired knew far more about real world economics than the ex economist who now works for me.


  20. 52
    Gordon Brown says:

    I eat crayons.


  21. 54
    Samuel Langhorne Clemens says:

    There are lies, there are damned lies, and then there are statistics…


  22. 56
    its only money says:

    Sure, throw another billion away to appease the Lib Dems….


  23. 58
    The BBC Bias Unit, headcount 14,253 and rising says:

    “Growth has stalled to 0.5% – much lower than the, er, higher figure that we of course were predicting earlier, whatever it was. However, if you subtract the figure 1, say, from this, this leaves the figure at -0.5% and thus the British economy in a RECESSION – YES, EVERYBODY, RECESSION, YIPPEE.

    For an official Government statement, we now go over to Future Prime Minister Ed Milliband. Mister Milliband, good morning.

    Oy, vey.

    First of all, congratulations on being elected Prime Minister…”


  24. 64
    Billy Bowden is the world's greatest umpire! says:

    David Cameron is simply a lying bastard time the media reflected it…he has nothing to offer!


    • 99
      Duty Pedant says:

      Gosh Billy, your spelling has improved enormously in the past few minutes, although the punctuation is still poor…..


  25. 67
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    What does litlle millibonce know about grown-ups stuff, Shouldn’t he be on Alan Sugar’s junior apprentice?


  26. 71

    Dr Richard Chartres appears to be yet another overfed, Grauniad reading, BBC loving, sky fairy worshiping man in a purple frock.


  27. 73

    Dr Richard Chartres appеars to be yet another overfed, Grauniad reading, BBC loving, sky fairy worshiping man in a purple frock.


  28. 74
    Someone with twitter please twat him says:

    johnprescott John Prescott
    I’ve been asked to stand-in for Paul Routledge’s Mirror column this week. Lots to write about but what would you like me to raise?


  29. 78
    Gerry says:

    No real growth then. Flatline in the country time to turn off the life saving machinery in the Tory party. No growth for almost 2 year. If Osbornes medicine was working we would have a growth on a par with germany or France, not Greece.

    Time to resign George,


  30. 80
    BBC News says:

    Sorry but we’re waiting for a story about Lord Ashcroft.


  31. 81
    Vince Cable's rucksack says:

    Vince ‘has nothing to say’ today. Quote.


  32. 82
    Sir William Waad says:

    These figures are very small, subject to error and only measure proxies rather than actual economic activity. They are not much use.


  33. 102
    They're all the same says:

    Economics is easy really. Produce,sell, buy, invest; Produce,sell, buy, invest.
    Take out one item then your stuffed


  34. 119
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    this is not good news for the bBC at least


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