November 1st, 2011

Fuel Fight Finally Pencilled In


123 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So far its a draw, one to the scousers and one for the europhiles.

  2. 2
    Sophie says:

    Highest fuel taxes in British history.

    From a Tory led Coalition.

  3. 3
    tommy5dollar says:

    Why’s that a surprise? The Tories believe is sales taxes…

  4. 4
    I have a first class degree in internet moniker studies says:

    Bring back leaded, I say.

  5. 5
    Fiona Mactaggart's minge says:

    Chloe Smith was in primary school the last time I saw any action.

  6. 6
    Bodgitt & Scarper says:

    Nah, leaded paint poisons you when you blowlamp it off.

  7. 7
    Alex Crombie Edinburgh says:

    Because I am gay I omit a lot of gas.

  8. 8
    random passerby says:

    stops taxes on country estates i spose

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Paint?

  10. 10
    She lost a war with the ugly stick says:

    I wonder why troglodyte Fiona Mactaggart would make a bitchy comment about Chloe Smith.

  11. 11
    Selohesra says:

    There was an MP called Mactaggart
    Whose clit was shaped like a maggot
    One day at the Vicars
    She pulled down her knickers
    Unleashing the odour of haddock

  12. 12
    Selohesra says:

    As long as you don’t emit it then that’s OK

  13. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  14. 14
    gildedtumbril says:

    Oil from the North Sea is taxed many ways, very many ways. When Lord Dyldeaux, (Owner of an oil exploration co.) dreams of finding a couple of wells in a sector he needs a franchise,govt TAX.The taxes multiply all down the line. The final insult to the public, at the pump is VA BLOODY T. A SALES TAX upon tax.
    Plus, the public, and the AA and RAC appear to be blissfully aware that filling stations are allowed to deliver 9 gallons and charge for 10. The legislation dates back to when pumps were very inaccurate and non electric.
    DELIVER 9 AND CHARGE FOR 10. Does anyone know of such ‘slippage’ in any other archaic field of British ignorance and stupidity?

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    Is it me, or do Twitter postings increasingly make very little sense?

  16. 16
    AC1 says:

    tasteful

  17. 17
    Sheila Gilmore says:

    I’m a fud.

  18. 18
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    its you.

  19. 19
  20. 20
    Bunnington says:

    Sophie, stop messing about on the computer and get the hoover out

  21. 21
    Alan Mullet says:

    This is hardly the plaice for that kind of schoolboy humour.

  22. 22
    Titford Hat says:

    If Toynbee’s minge is as “lived-in” as her face it’ll have Dunlop on it.

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    oh ta, Billy

  24. 24
    Montgomery Cheddar says:

    Said the functional illiterate.

  25. 25
    Sir William Waad says:

    Meanwhile, the wind totems multiply…O Gaia, the Mighty, the Merciful, let not your arm smite us with droughts, hurricanoes and floods! We promise not to drive Subaru Imprezas if it vexes you. And if, for reasons by mere mortals unfathomable, it pleaseth you that rich and very self-satisfied people should jet around the world deciding how to spend all our money then, O Mighty One, we obey, yea, even unto our last brass farthing!

  26. 26
    bloke from the gas board says:

    I wouldn’t pike it with yours.

  27. 27
    Billy Bowden is the world's greatest umpire! says:

    David Cameron and Gideon Osborne have screwed up the UK economy,now both of you please take your refund and fuck off

    5390.34 – -153.88 The FTSE is also fucked for the foreseeable future !

  28. 28
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Scrutiny of the actions of the police is good for us all, and good for democracy.

  29. 29
    The Laird Clan Mactaggart says:

    Fiona is a fine looking beast and a credit to the estate’s herd.

  30. 30
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I go to tesco.

  31. 31

    That MacTaggart was welcome as gout
    Was never in shadow of doubt
    Of all one may wish
    She resembled a fish
    Not cod or haddock but trout.

  32. 32
    Archer Karcher says:

    All three parties are pursuing the same policies on fuel and many other issues. Whilst you might expect rigged markets and crony capitalism under Labour, it is clear now they all agree and see fuel poverty as desirable.
    Thus ‘progressivism’ marches on, whilst under our feet there are trillions of cubic tonnes of easily recoverable cheap fuel, we spend vast amounts of money on the most expensive, least reliable and completely unpredictable form of energy known to mankind, wind power.

  33. 33
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I wonder if Angela Merkel and Polly Toynbee are sisters separated at birth?

  34. 34
    William Topaz McGonagall says:

    There was an MP called Mactaggart
    Whose clit was shaped like a maggot
    One day at the Vicars
    She pulled down her knickers
    Unfortunately he was a faggot

  35. 35
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Yes, i agree fully, but releasing the files was pronarly not in any of the manifestos (the excuse for not giving us a vote on the EU and 3-line whip).

    My point is that a different standard is happening with every petition.

  36. 36
    AC1 says:

    Hopelessly Naive to look at that one number going up or down and assign it good or bad respectively.

    It’s like thinking that low house affordability (house inflation) was a good thing for the country.

  37. 37
    Evie Lennon says:

    You can’t be Billly. The real Billy is likeable and wouldn’t rant like a loony.

  38. 38
    bloke from the gas board says:

    OT – Which has been everyone’s fave a d v e r t today?

  39. 39
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Check the difference in monikers :-)

  40. 40
    Archer Karcher says:

    Flouride is more toxic than lead, yet people are perfectly happy to put it in their and their childrens mouths everyday.

  41. 41
    AC1 says:

    I think it very much is.

  42. 42
    Raoul Moat says:

    It’s a fucking disgrace that it costs more than 3 quid to make a petrol bomb.

  43. 43
    Thumb Screw says:

    +0.1

  44. 44
    All girls together says:

    That one with the brazilian’d blondes going at it like toffee apple tasters.

  45. 45
    Thumb Screw says:

    And Pringles

  46. 46
    Humphrey Davy says:

    FlUOride. It hasn’t got flour in it.

  47. 47
    AC1 says:

    I know it’s easy to do at this dark time of the year but you forgot solar power.

    Cameron has just got rid of the FIT (which is a good or bad thing depending on whether your paying the subsidy or receiving it).

  48. 48
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Of course different petitions are treated differently. Its because they are different.

    Its quite easy to dust down a few old police reports and embarrass a few retired policemen.

  49. 49
    Gobboon says:

    We live in the country and we’ve got a Mondeo estate and we’re taxed to the hilt.

  50. 50
    Gordon Brown's favourite TV programme says:

  51. 51
    Dwayne, a dentist says:

    Mercury amalgams are/were a first-class slow-release neurotoxin. Don’t quote me on that, though.

  52. 52

    Did someone mention Brazilian Briefs?

  53. 53

    But I look out for monkier

  54. 54
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Is it under your feet?

    I saw a map the other day that seemed to suggest fracking gas was under oxfordshire. I’d like to see them try it out in Witney before they try it out under my foundations.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    Cutting transport cost will reduce the price of lots of goods and services, it will also bring inflation down. All the taxes on fuel should be removed.

  56. 56
    fangs for the memories says:

    Best thing since tonic water.

  57. 57

    With the canvas showing through where the tread used to be.

  58. 58
    Mornington Crescent says:

    and “retread”.

  59. 59
    techie says:

    Have you checked out Composites? From the cradle to the grave nothing but nothing is perfect.

  60. 60
    The Cabinet Secretary says:

    Well get your kids to brush with leaded petrol instead of toothpaste. Get back to us and tell us how long they live.

    Not very long is my guess. Especially if they spark up a fag.

  61. 61

    In the case of some I can think of, it becomes more than a duty, it is a real pleasure…

  62. 62
    Damien 666 Thompson says:

    The exclamation mark of The Devil !

  63. 63
  64. 64
    AC1 says:

    Anything to let a bunch of scousers try and shirk their responsibility for the disaster.

  65. 65
    Evie Lennon says:

    Oops Billy, I’m a dopey cow! Knew it wasn’t you though. x

  66. 66
    Pedant#1 says:

    Yup!
    Twats.

  67. 67
    Fiona Mactaggart says:

    Chloe Smith is yet another product of the elitist private education system. We hate private schools. Sorry, she what?… She went to a comprehensive?… Um… well, uh… so did I. I went to the roughest comprehensive in the country. No need to try and look it up. It doesn’t exist. I mean, it doesn’t exist anymore. Yes, it was closed down by Thatcher. Must dash now.

  68. 68
    Professor Doo-Dah BSc. says:

    I once used a lighter to peer into my BSA’a petrol tank to see how much juice was left …..

  69. 69
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    No worries :-)

  70. 70
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    I would have a crack at it. I am desperate at the moment, even the wife isn’t letting me have any.

  71. 71

    Stop news. Protesters can now have St Paul’s. Clergy to move out to Dale Farm.

  72. 72
    Professor Doo-Dah BSc. says:

    ….it whooshed for about ten seconds. Then I pushed it to the garage.

  73. 73

    Stоp Prеss.

    Prоtеstеrs cаn nоw hаvе St Pаul’s. Clеrgy tо mоvе оut tо Dаlе Fаrm.

  74. 74
    NeverRed says:

    I’d like to ‘frack’ the House of Commons and the House of Lords, particularly as November the 5th is coming shortly.

  75. 75

    So Mr Dromedary has not declared £27,867 he received as pay from the Unite union in the members’ register of financial interests. But he’s a socialist so that is OK. Do not hold your breath waiting for the BBC to announce it.

  76. 76
    The Fog says:

    Just because he gave his daughter a hamburger to eat during the BSE crisis does not make him a bad person.

  77. 77
    Sir Christopher "Jenny" Wren says:

    …where they belong. The fucking hypocritical, sky-fairy-worshipping faggots never did pay me in full.

  78. 78
    Gooey Blob says:

    Just watched the most grudging apology on News 24 regarding the shameful biased BBC reporting of the Andrew Tyrie incident at the Tory party conference. Given the original report was shown on BBC’s 10 o’clock news on BBC1, I expect they’ll be repeating the apology on that channel at the same time.

    Perhaps Sky News and ITN should report the BBC’s actions too. It’s time to tell the world what the BBC is really like.

  79. 79
    George says:

    0.5 %

    Wowieeeeeee

  80. 80
    NeverRed says:

    Once the protest about ‘God knows what’ comes to an end, perhaps a few million people should take their place demanding an EU referendum.
    I wonder what the men in frocks think about that? They love their expenses and freebie trips as much as politicians.

  81. 81
    Our Denry says:

    Some of them retired early didn’t they

  82. 82
    Its just a question, but - says:

    Why is it that gay men have really smelly farts?????

  83. 83
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Government to deploy 3 line-fuck-you-WHIP !

  84. 84

    It was like a breath of fresh (bl)air.

  85. 85
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    egg shell skull sindrome i suspect

  86. 86
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    its not as if they’ve got Robert Kilroy-Silk back.

  87. 87
    Gooey Blob says:

    The pound is worthless, and that is helping drive up fuel prices. You can blame Mervyn and the MPC for that, far more so than any politician.

  88. 88
    The Paragnostic says:

    That wasn’t Hamilton, that was John Selwyn Gummer.

    A different variety of tosser altogether.

  89. 89
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I love twitter – i can just post other peoples tweets and everybody thinks I am reely clever

  90. 90
    Our Denry says:

    Now you are talking, now who has a constituency of Witney and a lot of nimby very wealthy peeps there

  91. 91
    AC1 says:

    Foggy Brain,

    That was Gummer.

  92. 92
    Archer Karcher says:

    The deposits are so vast and it will take years to discover them all, that’s just the onshore deposits.
    Offshore it appears that there could well be, even bigger deposits in the north sea and elsewhere.
    But no we are wasting untold billions on junk technology, junk science and junk watermelon ideology, the waste is more than shameful, it is criminal.

  93. 93
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    its pretty basic stuff to get the excmation mark correct in the monkier when pretending to be me

  94. 94
    The Fog says:

    I thought Gummer was the chap that sucked that girls toes. May be wrong though.

  95. 95
    Our Denry says:

    And of course mercury in fillings!

  96. 96
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i am no lickable and i do rant – please dont say i dont rant – it is my street cred to be a rantinger

  97. 97
    AC1 says:

    The protest is about ending greed by getting the state to take everyone elses money and giving it to the protesters.

    Simples.

  98. 98
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  99. 99
    Billy Bowden in the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Did someone mention Brazilian Beef?

  100. 100
    AC1 says:

    Click the microgif with the title beware of the leopard.

    It’s right there.

  101. 101
    AC1 says:

    Of course. BSE was complete bollocks.

  102. 102
    AC1 says:

    Is that a good idea?

  103. 103

    Fatty David Mellor was the toe sucker. He could swallow a whole football so got that job from Blair.

  104. 104
    AC1 says:

    It’s like a prison there with the shopping centres, internet, phones and subsidies.

  105. 105
    The Fog says:

    Mellor, now that name rings a bell. Wasn’t he the chap at the motorway service station with brown paper bags full of money?

  106. 106
    Spinal Snap on the BBC says:

    Is Billy on tablets? OCD?

  107. 107
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I thought the toes was a “fergie” story. another odd one you might have been thinking about was Mellor.

    always been pillocks, the lot of them.

  108. 108
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    So Karcher, not literally under your feet.

  109. 109

    Must be quote of the fuckin’ century…

  110. 110
    Well it's a thought says:

    Bye bye UKIP you have no fkin chance with that guy onboard, he is still the kiss of lurgi.

  111. 111

    The name Selwyn has had quite a run in the House.

    Selwyn Lloyd was the earliest Foreign Secretary that I can remember (1955-60), then Chancellor of the Exchequer for two years. Then he became Spеaker in the early seventies.

    (There – avoided all my little green vegetables)

  112. 112
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    No, just a few loyal sockpuppets that like to think they are being funny.

  113. 113
    Well it's a thought says:

    So Browns tweek every few months on fual price doesn’t count for the high price of fuel, your being far to fair for it to be good for you, ps do you want to buy a bridge.

  114. 114
    Ernst Stavro Blofeld says:

    My huge ANUS (Array Needing Unfiltered Sunshine) will be up and running soon.
    I shall be reflecting pure sunlight onto your miserable little island through this coming winter.
    My fiendishly complicated calculations have confirmed that my ANUS will HALVE your nation’s power bill and put that nasty, foreign cartel and their bloodsucking shareholders on the back foot.
    Do not ever tell me that evil, insane megalomaniacs don’t have a charitable streak in them.

    Oh dear. Tiddles has just shat on the keyboard again.

  115. 115
    Anon says:

    I haven’t read anything funny on here since the *Paddy* fucked off.

  116. 116
    Well it's a thought says:

    I assure you Billy none of us would think that.

  117. 117
    Nurse Botha says:

    I suspect he has ADHD, dear. Mr. Brown is just the same.

  118. 118
    Well it's a thought says:

    No , but I did notice the favourite is the penny that goes on after the pump is put down, you can see it happen, so I always put 5p less in.

  119. 119
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Most succinctly put.

  120. 120
    Sean Connery says:

    Ranshid Shpunk pal.

  121. 121
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    My dad boiled up a load of lead in a pan in the kitchen. It was used to make a counter-weight for his homemade telescope.

  122. 122
    Anonymous says:

    Billy is a complete twat – is he an employee of Guido paid to be stupid

  123. 123
    Santa says:

    So high fuel prices = high tax revenues to pay for public sector projecs & “stuff”
    You know how it works


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