Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View
Attorney General Warns Press Over Rebekah & Andy | Media Guido
UKIP Pros and Cons | Allister Heath
“The Double Income No Kids Existence” | Alex Deane
David Nicholson to Quit NHS Next Year | HSJ
We Don’t Have Gatsby-esque Inequality | Tim Worstall
Dave Will Still Win in 2015 | Toby Young
Activists Should Ignore the Sneerers | Jacob Rees-Mogg
NHS Can Kill Tories | James Kirkup
Dave Lets Labour Take Credit For Gay Marriage | FT
UKIP Set to Out-Poll Tories | Telegraph
UKIP Spokesperson Slaps Down BBC | The Commentator
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Ai Weiwei in China fighting the taxman…
“Under totalitarian rule, no one is protected by law. We will all be the same helpless victims. When a country insists on its lies, it’s time for an artist to bring forth change.”
Ah! Monika says:
Google-eyed-Dave
Twice as predictable and lame the second time round, bravo.
Is it Nck Clegg?
You hurt Clegg harder by not mentioning him, I mentioned him once ance and was sick for a week.
Oh God. Who is it? I know that, not living in England I might miss a bit on that vital bit of news. But really! Is it Tony Blair, because it doesn’t look like him? Is it someone on X-Factor, which I would not watch even if I was back in the UK? Is it Alan Sugar, in which case I would proffer him a lighted match? Is it Assad in which case I would do the same? Is it ironic? (No it’s Rich and Mark you fool!) So many questions and no answers. Somebody help me…
Looks like John Cleese, or a piss poor David Seaman.
Is there any other kind of David Seaman?
Mentioning Seaman – watching the 5-1 thrashing of Germany many moons ago, the then Mrs P was heard to say “Who’s the big girl’s blouse in goal?”.
Bashar should go back to Specsavers – they need optometrists.
It will burn hotter if was P ickles
(why do entries about P ickles get removed?)
The spitting image of the Tyrant of Damascus!
Just another nutter who’s PR is better than himself , as Camoron
No, it’s that bloke from ‘A Fish Called Wanda’
Why is Assad covering himself in milk chocolate?
Could be the equivalent of red diesel, hard to ignite but once burning almost impossible to put out
Hey ASsad – strike a light and make my day.!
Why is Peter Mandelson hosing himself in chocolate milk? I don’t get this one.
A a ass ad
What is it that you buy in place of Milk Tray?
Dave of to G20 to give lecture on global governance.
No8 in pdf
http://www.consilium.europa.eu/uedocs/cms_data/docs/pressdata/en/ec/125007.pdf
He thinks he will loose his euro home to the chinese
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_ports#Chinese_treaty_ports
Must be a mistake, I can recognise the twat.
I can’t see his twat — where is it?
Lets hope the Syrians hang him and bum him. Or is it the other way around?
Bum him, Hang him, burn him. He’s a gayer anyway just like Arafat.
So the hard knock has told the bully to stay away from his country otherwise he’ll set himself on fire, hard decision, can I ask, is it cheaper to set yourself on fire with petrol in Syria than the hard knock countries, so that’s what it’s about, the hard knocks want cheaper petrol to set themselves on fire, I thought they were doing enough damage to the countries already..
You seem almost as confused as I do, fancy a beer?
That should be “fancy another beer”, surely?
+1
Why is Saif Al Islam talking to the ICC ?
What the fuck does he know about cricket
I’m stumped.
The guy is wicket. Completely wicket!
This irriot Syria van der rast one!
Is it Anton du Bek or Herman Munster?
I was wild once.
But now you’re mad
Another quality cartoon from R&M. Presumably they pay GF to publish them??
+1
Talk about PREDICTABLE.
Every Monday morning, they all say, “who is it.”
If you went to church, they would always finish with the blessing. If you went to a mosque, they would be chanting Ali Aqbar. This is our prayer time. Kindly respect it.
Is it Richard Bacon?
*swipes £10 from the collection plate*
!
OK smartarse, who is it then?
It’s that bloody Jamie Oliver / Gordon Ramsay fellow advertising another ” how to cook kebabs for Xmas” .
Very like gaddafi who said the same thing – assad needs to look at how that one ended up.
And on a lesser note but closer to home there are some parallels cleggie should draw from this too as he spouts off about people tampering with the eu.
Assad doesn’t have to worry at all. Dave “we face no wars for ten years” Camoron is about to finish thanking the RAF personnel who helped topple Gadaffi, which means he’s about to go to Phase II of the plan: Operation P45 – Sack the Pilots.
Syria is “bombproof”(pardon the pun)….and they’re not an easy target like Libya…they have a well-armed army/air force and allies(Hamas,Iran,Iraq and backing of Russia)….so the West will pontificate ,lecture etc but do nowt else..even if they had the will or the military hardware…a few Tornados or Mirages flying over won’t effect Assad’s regime…so don’t expect “Dave” or “Nico” to be pushing the UN or NATO on this one…..or Wild Billy Hague jetting around the capitals of the region to form an alliance of the willing(more like unwilling)…the only one’s pushing for action are the Guardian and the BBC and other media…let them send a few journos to talk Assad to death
After sacking our pilots who’s going to fly our planes? Perhaps, as in WW2, the Poles will be drafted in again to save the day. And for minimum wage.
WTF has Syria got to do with us or the West, anyway???
They have hamsters, and lots of them…
O/T but concerns small businesses from which our regeneration is supposed to take place:
HMRC announced earlier this year that they were concerned that smaller businesses were not keeping adequate accounting records. In their opinion this has led to such businesses paying lower tax liabilities that ought to have been the case.
Over the next months HMRC are planning to carry out pre tax return checks, i.e. looking at the current year’s accounting records, of 200,000 small business (defined as having under 250 employees); they will give a minimum of 7 days notice of the visit and each visit will be followed up with a letter that concludes with the warning that “one of our officers may visit you again in the next 3 months to check whether or not you have made the recommended improvements”.
In practical terms, HMRC are expecting to see that a business is keeping full HMRC have no authority to dictate the form of accounting records or the frequency of the updating. However, if they believe the record keeping is not up to the standard required, HMRC may issue assessments for claimed under declared profits for up to 6 years and the onus would be on the taxpayer to disprove the assessments and without good accounting records this might be difficult. In addition to the extra tax that could be due, there would be added interest from when the amounts ought to have been paid plus potentially a penalty of up to 30% of the assessed additional tax.
Brilliant. That should destroy quite a few jobs. Well done Dave!
I reckon it has been instigated by the placemen that the last lot installed. Dave may be stupid at times but he is not that stupid … shirley?
Ah – the fifth column left behind to implement the Scotched Earth policy?
Quite. Got to rush out and do some shopping now as it is bank holiday here tomorrow (All Saints’). Catch you later.
Don’t worry, Dave has a cunning plan to save money.
In countries where gay rights are non existant or abused, Dave has sternly stated that they may not recieve quite as much aid from British taxpayers, unless they mend their ways and allow full gay rights.
What an inspiration Dave is, a gay titan, a world statesman!
You may mock, but I’m certain the Pakistani authorities are re-writing the Koran at this very moment.
I think the arse-banditry offends against a hadith rather than the text of the Koran, so all that is needed is a pink fatwah and they’re home free.
I welcome any corrections from meteorite worshippers.
No. Milimong wouldn’t be able to stand, talk and hold a petrol nozzle all at the same time.
You know how I knew it wasn’t, on first glance? Milismall would never do something that sensible.
I am flying out to Damascus to give Mr Assad a few tips on hanging grimly on when everybody except the establishment troughers hates you.
How much are you charging for your advice?
our tone is getting £8million from nazarbayev so make sure you ask for enough!!
It looks like my brother-in-law.
I don’t know what he has got to do with Syria, though.
I don’t know what anything has got to do with Syria and why we should be paying for it. (Much like Afghanistan, Iraq, Kuweit, Lybia etc…)
That cartoon is aout as funny as Guido taking his view on climate change from the Daily Mail and then banging on about ‘bias’
Doesn’t it strike you as odd that the Daily Wail hasn’t bought into the AGW stuff, hook line and sinker? I mean, they love stories about humanity’s downfall, be it caused by a giant meteor, a supervolcano, MRSA, SARS, bird flu, earthbound space-junk – you name it, they’ll scream and panic about it.
But when it comes to cows’ farts causing sea-levels to rise.. silence. They’re missing a great hysteria opportunity.
The mail follows its readership, not the other way round. Bored home counties housewives dont find it to be an issue they care about but they do love an opportunity to see what they perceive as liberals / lefties / tree hungers / the scientific establishment get a kicking so both the mail and it’s readers (including Guido) happily latch onto anything tha presents a contrarian view, however dubious the source.
In any case Guido believes a celibate man inserting wafers into his mouth can transmutate iit into the flesh of someone who died 2000 years ago so I’ll look elsewhere for stories pertaining to science.
con·trar·i·an noun \kən-ˈtrer-ē-ən, kän-\
Definition of CONTRARIAN
: a person who disagrees with what is decreed in the Grauniad.
— contrarian adjective
— con·trar·i·an·ism noun
Well if I were you looking for scientific reports on things like climate change I’d avoid the IPCC that’s run by an en gine dr iver making loadsamoney out of claims that himalayan glaciers are melting when they are not and avoid the uea who , when presented with an foi request for the data on which they based their assumptions said that, rather conveniently, the data had been shredded. Very tony bliar!!
They claim that the Ganges and the Brahmaputra will dry up by 2050 due to glacial erosion. It ignores the fact that these rivers are almost completely fed by monsoon waters and melt-snow with glacial melt accounting for an almost negligible quantity. These “scientists” must have taken lessons in truth from Blair.
They’re going for the soft targets again. Multinationals will continue to be given a soft ride, as will people who operate outside the system and pay no tax.
It’s important that each of these cases is strongly resisted, unless there really is something wrong of course, in which case the business should come clean. HMRC have to demonstrate that, on the balance of probabilities, there is an understatement of profit. They cannot just make a figure up and say “prove us wrong!” even if they think they can.
Thanks Sir William. I take it you are responding to my earlier post. I have emailed my accountant back in the UK who sent me this stuff (rather too hastily summarised by me) and told him that they are welcome to try and call upon us…
“Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids.” – Harvey Mackay
I would add the following which slightly conflicts with Sir Williams’s point that they cannot make anything up.
In 1987, I left a well paid position to start up my own business. My first year was not a complete one but I made a profit of £8,000 in the nine months. I made all my returns meticulously.
Notwithstanding, I was sent a tax demand for £30,000 by the Revenue. That was actually more than my turnover in that initial period. I still have the papers and can prove that this is not a made up story.
Since the day that demand landed on my mat, I have had a built in mistrust of the Revenue. Hardly surprising. They started it, not me.
Your mistrust of HMRC is well-placed, as is mine. Having been bombarded with requests for VAT forms not allegedly sent and payments not allegedly made, together with threats about sending in the bailiffs, I ensured that any phone calls from/to them were always recorded and kept. Having paid every penny in VAT on time, and having submitted every form correctly and again on time, I deeply resented their harassment. I say ‘resented’ because this almost continuous bullying by the state was one of the main reasons why I decided to call it a day and to go and find something else to do.
Assad sack of shite, if you ask me…
If you are referring to the previous thread NB then Guido had his on at 2.47pm on the 30th, but the DM story was not posted until 6.11pm. This would seem to suggest that Guido was there first, would it not??
Out of sequence – this was in reply to 37.
It looks like Rodders.. What a Plonker!
Oi!
Couldnt be less amusing if somebody had given Billy some crayons last night
Well indeed syria paused on the brink of civil war is very unamusing.
Thank the Lord that we no longer have st tone in power otherwise he’d be charging off at the head of another invading army whilst hastily assessing the potential value of rebuild contract to his companies once he’s trashed the place.
What’s Ed Miliband doing with that petrol?
For Assad’s reference to Afghanistan substitute Libya.
Meanwhile, there’s another fuel crisis, this one in the UK:-
Against reward cards forcing up fuel costs to the less well off
Responsible department: Department for Business, Innovation and Skills
Banks and supermarkets have recently introduced reward credit cards these offer cash back on purchases but the banks and supermarkets are not paying these rewards, the retailers are. They are heavily promoting these cards through TV advertising and offering returns on fuel purchases. Fuel retailers are lucky to make 3p per litre before charges and this extra Burdon leaves them with no other option but to raise prices for all customers. If you agree with me that it is wrong to reward the rich at the expense of the poor then please sign this petion.
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/20366
Just got it in my emails this morning.
Good likeness, crap joke. It’s progress of a sort I suppose.
Not only do I not know who he is, but why is is he standing in a suburb of Londonistan?
Arse-sad?
I’m from Acton, you know…
Basil Fawlty in that episode where he beats the Austin 1100 with a branch from a tree?
Sadly Assad is probably correct.
If you think Iraq was problematic once the ethnic/religious genie was let loose, Syria makes that problem look like the proverbial storm in a teacup!
This is THE basis of the West’s impotence in their internecine conflict! Modern Syria is a “Nation designed by a Committee”………. and what a bloody committee indeed!
The practical lesson for ALL Denocrats is that, in certain circumstances, democracy is DESTRUCTIVE!……….. ask the Chinese……….
Is that a Scudd (top left) R&m All dictators look the same when you are face down in dirt, with a Boot on the back of your neck,
just nuke the bastards