October 21st, 2011

Tory MPs Should Spank Whips With Own Words

Given the pressure that the Whips are putting on the Tory backbenches is likely to increase, Guido thought he would prepare a handy guide to one-liners to throw back at them. Have a delve into Guido’s “Little Black Book of Whippicisms”…

Last time a government was on the ropes and refusing to grant a free vote, Mark Francois said “The government really don’t deserve to get away with this…”, in 2008 as the Tories’ shadow European minister, he mocked the LibDems for abstaining:  “They are going to hide in the toilets because they have not got the guts to vote.” He also accused Labour and the LibDems of not having “equal trust in the British people” in terms of letting them decide. He can add Conservatives to that list now…

Greg Hands, the latest addition to the Whips Office, has made his views on a referendum very clear in the past: “This is about democracy. The way the Government is trying to wriggle out of their promise to hold a vote is exactly the sort of behaviour that has eroded trust in politics.” Quite…

Chief Whip Patrick McLoughlin has unsurprisingly not publicly commented on the notion of a referendum or perhaps anything, on the record, ever. The same can’t be said of the rest of the gang though: Angela Watkinson MP voted for a referendum last time round, as did her fellow whips John Randall, Jeremy Wright, Brooks Newmark and James Duddridge. No doubt they will be reminded of that fact as they work the phones this weekend…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    We have to get em this time, or we will never have a say.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Is there any pictures in it?

  3. 3
    Tim says:

    Greg Hands can’t even hide behind Cast Iron’s excuse that he only supported a referendum prior to ratification. Here Greg Hands signs up to support a referendum before or AFTER ratification:


    Career before country?

  4. 4
    Paddy Doherty says:

    It’s nice in here so it is

  5. 5
    Moley. says:

    If Cameron applied the same determination to reducing the deficit as he is to losing the next election the Country’s debt would be wiped out by Christmas.

  6. 6
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Cameron, Clegg and Milliband would happily sell their country out to a foreign power for a seat on the gravy train and a gold-plated EU pension.

    Traitors one and all.

    Vote UKIP.

  7. 7
    Real Estate Cult says:

    You’re David Blunkett and I claim my £5.

  8. 8
    Anne Empee says:

    Whippicisms? I hope you’ve sent a free copy to that beautiful dominatrice in Pimlico frequented by a number of high ranking personages of our establishment.

  9. 9
    If you're in a hole...stop digging says:

    The only ability that the Tory leadership have it seems is to totally piss off their core vote……this is a total fucking disaster….all they had to do was just leave matters alone and not impose a three line whip…..it was unlikely that the motion would have passed anyway….all they’ve accomplished is draw attention to their internal problems and magnify the problem…but then again the “Cameroons” tend to overmanage things and can’t leave things alone….

  10. 10
    Freedom to make my own decisions. Free from interference and exploitation. says:

    The whole way this has been handled is both undemocratic and unfair.

  11. 11
    The Man who made a massive mis-calculation says:

    I agree…..If he couldn’t win a majority against the worst Prime Minister since ever he’s not likely to do any better in 2015 is he ?

  12. 12
    ron Vibentrop says:

    Roll on the British Spring. I’m building a mobile guillotine on a flatbed transit. After the MPs this will be available for hire to deal with councillors.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Start a no confidence e-petition on the way Cameron is handling EU. Monday’s vote will be lost but no confidence will force labour to side with Conservative rebels. Its the only way to force Cameron to give a vote on EU.

    There is a good chance millions of people will sign an e-petition after Monday’s vote.

  14. 14
    Big Ben says:


  15. 15
    FREEDOM 2 CHOOSE says:


  16. 16
    ron Vibentrop says:

    All MPs voting FOR the referendum should defect to UKIP on Tuesday. Then who would hold the balance of power? I can just see those Etonian sphincters start to tighten.

  17. 17
    Dave the Dictator says:

    You know, I just love the internet

    Any old tosser can come on and talk shit for hours

    It’s great!!

  18. 18
    Real Estate Cult says:

    Margaret Beckett?

  19. 19

    When in power it is not important to have any form of standards or respect, you demand and command it regardless.

    Now, everyone has a go at the bankers for not caring, our political class is exactly the same.

    They get away with it because the public are not allowed to arm themselves. This is the one great thing about a truly free country, when you allow the public guns the politicians think twice.

  20. 20
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dave shares on thing with Gordon, The abilty to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory!

  21. 21
    Sick of being followed about by thick as shit muppets in Edinburgh says:

    Hands is a useless mong.

  22. 22
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Look, all main parties want to be part of EU, why? Because it means less work for Mps and more Jollies and fact finding missions.

  23. 23
    les says:

    There won’t be a 3-line whip IMO

  24. 24
    Raving Loon says:

    Real conservatives are really UKIP’ers. The rest of the Tories are just socialists wearing blue rosettes.

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    Couldn’t agree more;all 3 ,traitors,liars & turncoats.
    The problem for me (a lifelong Conservative voter) is whether, if I switch to UKIP can they be trusted to keep their word?

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Or even totalitarian?

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    With the amount of gun crime in certain areas of London it seems those possessing them are aiming in the wrong direction.

  28. 28
    Simon Cowell smoking a fag says:

    Hypocrisy, you can’t beat it.

  29. 29
    ex-Tory says:

    Last time I shop in Randall’s of Uxbridge.

  30. 30
    Stalked by David Ickes Fan Club says:

    Europe is going into meltdown and good riddance to it.

  31. 31
    Tory Chief Whip says:

    Disorder, disorder

    Stop spanking me

    In the old days, I would have had you defrocked, excommunicated, banished from White’s Club and from the dinner party of every Duchess in the land

    Nowadays, I have to listen as calmy as possible to you and use the great power of CCHQ and David Fray Bentos to bring all their force down on you…

  32. 32
    roman says:

    The ‘core vote’ ain’t big enough to win a Parish Council, and that’s what Cameron learned during the opposition years.

    What he really needs to do is junk the Chief Whip and put in place someone who knows what he’s doing. If you think the Whips are getting tough over Monday’s vote, think again.

  33. 33
    David Fray Bentos says:

    Bring in the spinners I say

    What would you say Billy?

    You know all about spinners

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    No. they have drawn attention to the fact that they are liars and traitors.
    You still support them, don’t you No. 9?

  35. 35
    AC1 says:

    We could haul their bloodied still breathing bodies around on the back of fishing trawlers ululating “cod is great”.

  36. 36
    Badbobby says:

    Guido/mini Guido, if you’re referring to the Lisbon treaty then this post is deliberately misleading. The two situations aren’t directly comparable, Labour and the Lib Dems promised to vote for a referendum on the treaty and then broke their promises. The Conservative Party did not pledge an in/out referendum and so are under no obligation to vote for one. If someone did vote for a referendum on the Lisbon treaty then again that would create no obligation to vote for a referendum on EU membership. They’re seperate issues. I don’t think the Tory party leadership have covered themselves in glory on this one, but neither have you.

  37. 37
    Ginger Brooks says:

    Dear David

    I am unemployed in Chipping Norton nowadays

    If anyone can spin, I can



  38. 38
    Dead from blue in the face says:

    This is not a democracy

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t mention the Bilderbankers.

  40. 40
    Blue Jockstrap Mandelson says:

    I am invited to every dinner party of the Duchesses (when I am in Britain)

    So much for your ukases

  41. 41
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    This is about e-petitions, was a 3 line whip forced on the HIllsbrough debate?

  42. 42
    ron Vibentrop says:

    Exactly, a total fckwit. Lost the biggest landslide in our political history, no guts, no balls, no brain and no idea.

  43. 43
    Reuters correspondent, always first with the news says:

    Are you non dom yet Archbishop?

  44. 44
    Empty Ed and his mighty warriors says:

    As you indicate in one of your true but devastating references, Gwido,

    I have adopted a non dom overlord to make sure we have lots of cash

    You know that he was involved in the last scandal about Hampsteads buying titles do you?

    I hope they do not abolish the House of Lords before we can sell a few more

  45. 45
    Badbobby says:

    You’ve missed the point entirely, which given your other posts is not much of a surprise. The article seems to be saying that it was hypocritical of the Tory leadership to vote for a referendum on Lisbon but against one on membership, they are cynically trying to conflate the two issues, a practice also known as spin. It has nothing to do with e Petitions.

  46. 46
    Tim says:

    Guido’s post focused on maily on Greg Hands. Greg Hands can’t even hide behind Cast Iron’s excuse that he only supported a referendum prior to ratification. Here Greg Hands signs up to support a referendum before or AFTER ratification:


    So very comparable

  47. 47
    Scotland Fallen Down Yard says:

    The usual suspects

    We will get onto it

  48. 48
    I have Che Guevara tattooed on my ar says:

    The Greeks are very happy being shackled to EU?

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Well lets see. Tories proven liars, Labour proven liars, Limp Dems proven liars.
    Are you really asking an honest question?

  50. 50
    Lord Chief Justice wallah says:

    And ten years later, you will say

    There is not enough evidence etc

    Bunch of bent tubes

  51. 51
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The debate is over whether the voters/taxpayers should have a say with 2 options (in/out and one other).

    Lats weeks e-petition was for the release of Hillsbrough papers. which is what they got.

    Here we have all 3 main parties trying to enforce a 3 line whip against the will of the people (petitioners).

    Tories goal is to get powers back from Brussels, well here they have the perfect answer and are whipping to vote against it.

  52. 52
    CBS correspondent in the jungle says:

    I love your moniker

    I always loved Che

    Especially when he massacred Bolivian peasants in the name of human rights sorry, communism…

  53. 53
    Badbobby says:

    Again I disagree, that is a petition for a referendum on Lisbon, not membership of the EU. Also Guido mentions a number of other MP’s implying that they are all being hypocritical, this article was pure spin.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Piss off.

  55. 55
    Badbobby says:

    Again, you’ve completely missed the point of what I said, I’m not saying that they are right to whip against a referendum, I am saying that the article is deliberately misleading spin, something Guido protests he doesn’t like.

  56. 56
    Jack Daniels, Greek island owner says:

    The Greeks cooked their books to get into the Euro zone

    They then milked the tits off Europe (5% of their GDP per annum)

    And continue to do so

    And when told so

    They demonstrate

    RO fucking FL

    Lovely people

  57. 57
    Ewanme says:

    Hiya , Guido xx .

    Out here , evryone nose that democracy is jus some airy-fairy , wishy-washy imaginary concept pedalled by the few to stop the many from havin a huge knees-up an killin them , petal .

    Good luck , everyone . U is gonna need it .

    E x .

  58. 58
  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Off topic but what are the odds that we get an announcement about Huhne late Monday afternoon when the headlines for Tuesday’s papers will be full of the vote etc.

  60. 60
    Wreckless_Eric says:

    Yesterday was a good one to bury some bad news.

  61. 61
    I have Che Guevara tattooed on my arSe says:

    The Coalition will get a kicking from the voters.

  62. 62
    Katya says:

    Handycock used to like a bit of spanking – but he is unlikely to be there for the vote. He tells us he is ‘unwell at the moment, but as soon as I am better I will be back representing the people who elected me to do so. I will continue to do my job, and my duty to my city. My personal life has never interfered with my position, and it never will.’ If he is sufficiently unwell under the strain of the stories in the press and from ‘her indoors’ maybe this is the right moment to announce his retirement from politics. Plenty of winter sunshine to be enjoyed at his villa in Spain.

  63. 63
    Tim says:

    Oh stop splitting hairs. A post Lisbon referendum would be almost on a par with an in or out and be at least comparable with option ‘c’.
    This is a back bench principled debate. You are practicing the dark art of double speak that the great spinmeisters do so well.

  64. 64
    Well it's a thought says:

    Remeber MP’s us trash are watching what your up to and if you say NO on Monday then we will say no when we soon get chance to vote.

  65. 65
    Ah! Monika says:

    Tuesday morning.

    Start ANOTHER petition and keep going. The number of signatures will grow and grow. Smite them with their own sword.

  66. 66

    David Cameron might well achieve the impossible on Monday.

    He will have put Al Quaeda out of business. What chance do suicide bombers stand when they’re up against a man who is prepared to trash his entire country!!!!

  67. 67
    AC1 says:

    Egyptian slavery built the pyramids.
    British slavery built the Chav.
    Germany Slavery built modern Greece.

  68. 68
    Spartacus says:

    Makes a change from the bastards using unlicensed tasars.

  69. 69
  70. 70
    Spartacus says:

    And what of the tooth fairy?

  71. 71
    Sue says:

    Well said. The question really is : Is this a democracy or not?

  72. 72
    Sir William Waad says:

    When somebody becomes a whip, they shave their head and strap them into a chair. Then a shiny metal dome with sinister-looking wires and flashing lights slowly descends and sucks all the individual thoughts out of their brains……

  73. 73
    Sir William Waad says:

    You don’t deserve her….down on your knees and BEG!

  74. 74
    Well it's a thought says:

    Just like the House of Commons.

  75. 75
    Badbobby says:

    There are none so blind as those who will not see.

  76. 76
    Well it's a thought says:


  77. 77
    Often imitated, never bettered says:

    How’s the cider doing this year, E?

  78. 78
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am determined to play a full part in both the debate and the vote and I will be travelling down to…er…Winchester….where was it again?

  79. 79
    Billy, on tablets and loving it says:

    You’re making me so fucking horny you naughty boy.

  80. 80
    Sir William Waad says:

    “I have Che Guevara tattooed on my arSe”

    Complete with cigar, I see.

  81. 81
    Another Engineer says:

    What’s wrong with an in/out referendum anyway? Might get the “wrong” answer?

  82. 82
    Cast Iron Hypocrite says:

    You don’t bomb people who can bomb you back – a lesson that Hitler learned the hard way.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    1) Women like stuff.

    2) They know light years in advance what sort of stuff they like.

    3) If you get them the ‘wrong’ sort stuff, you’re fucked, even though it’s perfectly good stuff.

    4) If you get them the right sort of stuff, you’re wallet is bound to get seriously fucked over.

    That’s all I have to say on the matter.

  84. 84
    Ewanme says:

    LOL !

    Dry as fuck , again .

    6-7% , we thinks .

    Thanks for bovverin

    E x .

  85. 85
    nell says:

    What is the matter with our politicians?

    Mention the EU and the possibility of an in/out vote or changing our terms of membership and they collectively go into hysterics.

    militwit and cleggie have already said they are imposing 3 line whips on the mp’s to force them to vote against it. Very democratic.

    cameron who usually is quite deft at handling these things and should have been basking in a bit of glory over the end of the libyan adventure has gone into an utter panic at the mention of an eu vote and doesn’t seem to know what to do.

    Frankly he’s been a complete twit over this issue. He should have been seen as the only party leader allowing his mp’s a free vote and supporting democracy .

    The chances are, this time around, if he had done/or if he does allow the tory mp’s a free vote, the motion will still be lost so that he can then claim that it is the undemocratic actions of the other 2 parties that have denied the people a choice.

    If by some fluke the motion is passed , then it is a backbench motion which he is not honour bound to implement. So what is his problem?

  86. 86
    nell says:

    Yes absolutely!

  87. 87
    Cell time says:

    BBC eduction program?

  88. 88
    nell says:

    Well if you listen to militwit, cleggie and cameron today, the first two of whom have already imposed a 3 line whip demanding that their mp’s should vote against the referendum and cameron who is dithering about on the sidelines considering doing the same thing, you’d have a hard time proving we live in a democracy wouldn’t you?

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    No no no no no. Women like being bought stuff. It is the thought that counts. It’s the process that matters. Of course they prefer to be bought stuff they want, but as they do not know what they want they will settle for something expensive.

  90. 90
    Well it's a thought says:

    I like Camoron taking taking on the people of this country, how long did the training take for him to become a kamikaze pilot.

  91. 91
    contradiction in terms says:

    “Of course they prefer to be bought stuff they want, but as they do not know what they want…”

    Are you a woman by any chance?

  92. 92
    Get with it, nell says:

    See 57.

  93. 93
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:



    A great place to unload old unwanted DVDs /games etc into cash
    Or seek out a legitmate “why the fuck didnt I buy that 20 years ago ?”A

    Thanks for the free ad P*d*y

  94. 94

    Shirley, no one could be that bad?

  95. 95
    nell says:

    Flowers and a bottle of decent wine will work quite nicely. Most of us don’t require extravagant gestures.

  96. 96
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:

    Not a Bot
    And purchase a DVD
    may I reccomend Withnail and I or some old skool dance albums
    Or Disney films

  97. 97
    nell says:


    gordon’s too busy talking to them huff post folks about his loony theory that you can spend your way out of debt.

    Anybody know who reads that rubbish?

  98. 98
    white lightning says:

    Ewanme talking to itself again. That cider must be strong fucking shit.

  99. 99
    Hang these traitors says:

    John Randall, the Deputy Chief Whip’s, election literature is available online at http://randall4uxbridgeandsouthruislip.co.uk/ – where he notes that:

    Gordon Brown has bankrupted Britain; run up debts for generations to come; permitted too much immigration; denied us a say on the EU’s Lisbon Treaty and created a surveillance society where civil liberties are disappearing one after another. Only a Conservative government can deliver the change our country desperately needs.

    What a sell out. Cameron and all these other Guilty Men deserve to be strung up from lamp posts for daring to deny the British people a say on this pivotal issue. Bastards the lot.

  100. 100
    Iloathlefties says:

    We just need our referendum in or out. Nothing else and they are going to wriggle to stop us. No referendum, no more Tory vote me thinks!! I have written to my MP accordingly.

  101. 101
    K9 says:

    Alan Carr? Oh no, he’s toothY

  102. 102

    Been plucking olives today. Extra virgin. Don’t ferment but the oil does wonders for all sorts of things.

  103. 103
    Anonymous says:

    Lambrusco rosé and a bunch of thistles and turnip tops from the local garage. That’s you sorted nell.

  104. 104

    Of course their wants can, and do, change retroactively. So today you can be loved for doing entirely what was wanted and tomorrow hated for exactly the same thing.

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    Just got offered 80p for my Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back DVD. I’m a made man!

  106. 106

    Politics is the art of letting someone else have your own way.

  107. 107
    nell says:

    I can see why you are having problems anon. lambrusco? Yuk!!

    I’d expect a JP Chenet red and a least a dozen carnations!!

  108. 108
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    Here Mr Cameron give me a job please

  109. 109
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:

    Put it this way, You are 80 pence up on the day
    Have a rummage about
    That will get you chips and gravy (if you haggle) or a can of strong cider
    maybe half an E if your dealer likes you

  110. 110
    M says:

    What deal is camron doing for are banks exposure to the Greek debt WHEN it defaults .
    It better be in the national intrest & not in his personal bank account intrest !
    Remember the Germans and the French have a large hypnotic trough to push under ones nose.
    Dave might start smelling a bit Tony Blair oooh !

  111. 111
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:

    I haveone for you Mr Pissmark
    get all your mates an strangers in the street to give you unwanted (legit) software and then send them oop North
    Its free money


  112. 112
    Jimmy Doyle says:

    I oughta busk you right in the mush.

  113. 113

    Cameron’s got some fucking nerve! Standing outside No. 10 and talking about bringing democracy to Libya while at the same time destroying the same in his own country.

    Slimy, Traitorous Bastard!

  114. 114
    Lou Scannon says:

    Can’t we enlist the help of the Libyans to sort out Cameron and Clegg ?

  115. 115
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:

    You dont understand Norfolk
    Their ideal shopping place for flora is either a lamp post or the local crem


  116. 116
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    All 3 of us talk to ourselfs on here. If you doesn’t like that, fuck off an get a full refund at the turnstlie.

  117. 117
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You gives off a whiff of intelligence.

    Is it Blue Stratos?

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Chips AND gravy? I see we’re talking about the posh end of Manchester.

  119. 119
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:

    You are obviously gay
    They say things (after a while0 such as
    “you are just trying to buy my love”
    That or ” you have become mean lately”
    Fuck em and fling em then let it become somebody elses pain in the arse

  120. 120
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:

    Or buy a classic film or CD from


  121. 121
    Universal Hiss says:

    I really like that.

  122. 122
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:

    Sort of makes you wish that you were born a homo doesnt it?
    You dont even need to ask permission before sticking it up the gary Glitter

    Classic Bronski beat and Shirley Bassey albums are available @


  123. 123
    But it's by the BBC says:

    No thanks.

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:


  125. 125
    The Big Con. says:

    EU is nothing but a big con. Wavey Davey wants the UK to be part of a tri-partheid system which gives the elitist Germans, French and UK complete control over the markets. Wake up Dave it is not going to happen. Everyone is waking up to the Euro scam designed to reduce a nation’s sovereignty, individual freedoms, and turn people into nothing more than economics pawns where taxes are gambled away by the european casino bankers and the money grubbing elite.

  126. 126
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:

    They are by purchasing used DVDs from


  127. 127
    Play it again Dave says:

  128. 128
    Geoff, England says:

    You know the ‘Conservative’ party can’t be trusted, so you’ve nothing to lose by voting UKIP. If they turn out to be treacherous, then they’re just like the rest. Voting UKIP means we might, just might, get a decent government. Voting LibLabCon guarnatees we won’t

  129. 129
    The wizz says:

    I replied to one of your posts yesterday and made a bit of a rant about this referendum. This is the email I sent my MP:-

    As my constituency MP I wish to inform you that I am very much in favour of the IN/OUT EU referendum. The arguments thus far are not conducive to the feelings of people I know who vote Conservative. My personal feeling is that if the country votes for leaving the EU, the EU will bend over backwards to keep us in the fold. This is because they need us more than we need them after all. This opens up the opportunity to recover our sovereignty and stop the interference from an unelected elite.
    The argument that most is that our trade with the EU is important is a non-starter, their trade with us is equally important. Should the truth be known, we buy more from them than they do from us, therefor this is balderdash.
    We as a Nation should be looking at the new markets opening up in the east and not forgetting the Commonwealth Countries. To be honest I never voted for the European Union, I voted for the free trade agreement of the European Common Market.
    I am sorry but should you vote against this referendum I will resign the party and vote for UKIP. This may sound extreme but I Love my Country.

    Apart from the fact I resigned my membership yesterday.

  130. 130
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    Can’t wait to see the necro porn they make of gay libyans shagging Gaddaffi’s dead body.

  131. 131
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:

    Yes its called Cheshire,
    A Northern Surrey to you , its like Yorkshire only with more money and extra vulgarity you southern nonce


  132. 132

    Er no. I’ve become inured to it. Many times.

  133. 133
    The wizz says:


  134. 134
    ron says:

    “Sort of makes you wish that you were born a homo doesn’t it”?

    He probably was. Plucking olives? That’s sounds like homo slang to me.

  135. 135
    WVM says:


  136. 136
    The Paragnostic says:

    Move along, sir – this isn’t a caravan park, you know.

    Labourlist do a nice cup of tea and a bag of oats for your horse (or Margaret Beckett if you have one)…

  137. 137
    white lightning says:

    What if I do like it?

  138. 138

    No. During the mating season I give off a pheromone, in the form of an oily substance, from my skin and this app.ears to attract females.

  139. 139

    Too much listening to politicos that you cannot take something at face value…

  140. 140
    Adolf says:

    You could have kept your Empire and we could have ruled the world together.

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    OK, I believe you, no need to get all aeriated you fucking northern fairy.

  142. 142
    The Paragnostic says:

    Tasers don’t bother me – my tin foil hat spreads the electric rays out so I am safe from their mind-altering powers.

    It’s the fucking big sticks and police horses that worry me…

  143. 143
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    The logic is that we should all vote for UKIP until we are free of the EUSSR.

    After that vital victory, we can then vote for whoever else because the key battle will have been won (and no future party would ever dream of taking us back in).

    Game over – sovereignty back where it belongs.

  144. 144
    WVM says:

    His church is far too broad with too many wet liberals in it.

  145. 145
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Did someone mention Etonian sphincters start to tighten?

  146. 146
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    When can I sign ?

  147. 147
    Hang The Bastards says:

    I can’t stand to wath Cameron on TV any more.

    I actually hate him more than Brown.

  148. 148
    Tooth fairy says:

    zaaaPinng…. cross my palm with silver and your wish will come true

  149. 149
    David Fray-Bentos-Astor Cameron of that Ilk says:

    No more armed forces left


    We have shot our last wad…

  150. 150
    Wavey Davey says:

    Too many of you disappearing off to the right will let Labour in as you fully well know, you have no choice you have to vote for me!

  151. 151
    British Taxpayer says:

    Karl Marx would be proud of them

    Especially given the number of multi millionaires in their midst

  152. 152
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    There are many constituents depending on me in Portsmouth South especially in these straightened economic times, dear Katya, and I am an unwell victim at present as my wife hit me over the head with a frying pan. I have to get back as soon as possible as my drug dealing buddies need urgent planning permissions and licensing for their new lap dancing clubs.

  153. 153
    British Taxpaye says:

    There is something obscene in the land of Britain

    The hypocrisy of these people is stranger than fiction…

  154. 154
  155. 155
    WVM says:


  156. 156
    Anonymous says:

    To a manc I probably am gay, I can read and write, ad I’ve got all my own teeth.

  157. 157
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:


  158. 158
    The Paragnostic says:

    Since staying in the EU will result in an ever-decreasing circle in which Parliament can operate, what makes you think we care about letting the totally incompetent socialists run the show rather than the notionally competent socialists that you lead, Dave?

    Sorry, but if you continue to deny the people a say, you will be out on your arse at the next election, and it will serve you right.

  159. 159

    Consider a sea anemone, they cast around looking for a good anchorage with safety, comfort and a good food source. When it finds the right spot it attaches itself to the rock. Having no further use for its brain, it eats it.

    Rather like becoming a whip.

  160. 160
    Number of asylum seekers continues to rise says:

    The United Nations refugee agency UNHCR said the total was likely to more than double this year and would be at the highest level for eight years.

  161. 161
    Che Hancock says:

    Sorry about your head Dad, but the boys need your attention. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get those planning permissions and licenses fixed, otherwise I might lose my lucrative job.

  162. 162
    The Paragnostic says:

    Is it true that there are plans to rename Fratton Park as Frottage Park in your honour?

  163. 163
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Oh, what a star, Hesketh. Anyone who founds a racing team on a wing and a prayer and James Hunt as driver must be good value.

  164. 164
    The Paragnostic says:

    Never knew that about anemones, Cat – bloody efficient use of resources, is that!

  165. 165
    Fair and balanced says:

    Amusing ther censorship going on here

    No more reference to Arabs and J e w s

    Is that it ?!

    You are a bunch of second rate hypocritcal wankers

  166. 166
    Manucunian and a worshipper of Christ Mary and St John says:


  167. 167
    Dr Freud said all women suffered from penis envy says:

    We are Freud Communications

    We repesent all sides, farly, for a large fee


  168. 168
    Dr Jung says:

    Especially the friends of your father in law Rupert, I suppose

    And you friends in the Chipping Norton set ?


  169. 169

    Too teleological for me…

  170. 170
    Hansard writer says:

    Have you noticed who Emtu Ed Milli Mossad has appointed as his fund raiser in chief ?

    Another Mini-Mossad like himself, but who is nom dom

    They really have no shame these people

  171. 171
    Frey Cameron with a tan says:

    Eton mess

    Buy your used pies at http://www.turnintocash.com

  172. 172
    Jack says:

    So the real question now is

    Do you want to be governed and racketeered by Brussels or by Ed’s predatory Hampstead doms and non doms ?

    You haven’t got much choice….

  173. 173
    Goldman Sachs says:

    We invented the revolving door Guido

    And you can see the results

    We are filthy rich

    And the taxpayers are stuffed

  174. 174
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    Shush don’t you know the protocols of zzzzzzzzzz……iiiiiiii……oooooo…..nnnnnnn are ‘fake’ of course…………

    Nothing to see here, move along…….

  175. 175
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:


  176. 176
    The Paragnostic says:

    Nah – if an organism (and I think anemones are polyps, so more like a community than a being) has no use for part of itself, there’s probably a small reproductive gain in recycling the useless bits.

    Now, which law firm shall we start with?

  177. 177
    Louise Osbourne says:


  178. 178
    Cabinet Spotter says:

    Who would be the Chancellor of the Exchequer in your ideal UKIP government?
    Yep, I thought you hadnt a clue. And yet obtaining growth in the economy is fundamental to any recovery. Sad aintcha?

  179. 179
    nell says:

    Well said.

    I emailed my mp too – more along the lines of it being inappropriate for cameron to be taking it upon his shoulders to say we don’t have the right to have a say – and that I hope our mp will be voting in accordance with the majority view of his electorate which around here in this rural area is very anti EU.

    So I hope he’s had a few emails along similar lines and will think carefully about his wish to be re-elected next time around.

    The more of us who email our mp’s, regardless of whether they are tory,labour or libdum this weekend the better . Democracy and our right to a say is more important than all of them. We haven’t been permitted a say on the EU for 30 years. I think it’s time now!!

  180. 180
    Joshua Tetley & Son says:

    “”The whole way this has been handled is both undemocratic and unfair.””

    How come the MPs don’t get a secret ballot on allowing us a referendum on the EU – it must shurley breach their EU Human rights to freedom of expression ????

  181. 181
    nell says:

    OK. How reliable is this turnintocash site you keep trying to promote?

    YoungNell has loads of wii cd thingies she doesn’t use – can she sell them back on it for pocket money? – because if she can it might just relieve my purse a bit!!

  182. 182
    St James Street Pap says:

    A boozy night in White’s Club

    I see

  183. 183
    nell says:

    +1 – money grubbing elite = kinnochios

  184. 184
    Fray Bentos Spin Doctor says:

    We will deliver a free hamper of our pies to King Guido for this free advertising

    He can then distribute them to all the worthies

    Like King Prezza who is an accredited abuser of our stuff

    And Busker Watson (in his need)…

  185. 185
    nell says:

    ralph and his sons are simply emulating karl marx whilst trying to accumulate a bit of wealth for themselves by troughing off government. You know how it goes!

  186. 186
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    lol put the bentos opera one up next

  187. 187
    Catastrophy Theory says:

    We are not very far short of being at the point at which a shif takes place that makes people think rebelling is legitimate. We are not quite there, but this government does not seem to realise that after 13 years of the Labour Party boiling us all like frogs, the public mood could turn very nasty very sharply if this government doesn’t start treating the public and this democracy with respect.

  188. 188
    A hard done by Back Bench leech says:

    But thanks to our deceit & manipulation we are very well paid plus tax free expenses plus £25 per day, no receipt required, expenses plus £4K tax free, up front, expenses loan which might have to repayed sometime in the future plus still the best pension scheme in UK plus subsidized food of course BOOZE plenty of it, is such a sacrifice being an MP.sob sob..LOL

  189. 189
    Fray Bentos Chairman and Chief Executive says:


    David Cameron is sending us viral

    Thank you Prime Ministerial Unholiness

    We will can you forever…

  190. 190
    Gooey Blob says:

    Don’t bother with those Labour types. In case you didn’t know, it was the aim of the last Labour government to take out Gaddaffi.

    They took him out to the pictures a couple of times, and for a nice meal or two.

  191. 191
    Anonymous says:

    Chancellors do not grow economies. All we can hope for is one who strangles it less than the next guy. Seeing as we are flatlining at the moment and the government is actively fuelling inflation by debasing the currency, what do ordinary people have to lose?

  192. 192
    Twats says:

    CUNΤS, They are all CUNΤS.

    Political PARTIES SHOULD BE MADE ILLEGAL. ALL MPs should stand on their own two feet.

    Democracy, UK democracy is a scam.

    And why is Liz letting them get away with it? Or is she playing the long game and giving them enough rope to hang themselves?

  193. 193
    Sir Reginald Titbrain [Decd.] says:

    That’s not a pie, it’s a tin of stuff with a pastry lid. If they sold tents you’d get a dustbin and an umbrella.

  194. 194
    nell says:

    Well let’s just say we don’t want militwit (shudder – the thought of this geeky schoolboy in no 10!!) and we don’t want brussels…..

  195. 195
    nell says:

    Why does that disgusting pie thing remind me of prezza and twatson?

  196. 196
    annette curton says:

    Why do they always bring us Pies?.

  197. 197
    Mock Tudor Beams says:

    Not so fact

  198. 198
    nell says:

    You need to tell cameron!

  199. 199
    The "Angry Aberdonian" says:

    Is it just me or is the air of hostility towards Cameron starting to reach a really dangerous level?

  200. 200
    Liberal TWAS says:

    So every time a po faced Liberal politician went on question time in the last two decades demanding an in/out referendum over Europe was just pure BULL SHIT?

  201. 201
    annett curton says:

    Not really, is it in C sharp?.

  202. 202
    I don't need no doctor says:

    It would be nice to see some facts of in versus out.
    What are the bottom line figures of in or out.
    Would we lose trade if we were out.
    I don’t know the facts, I also suspect not many people do.

  203. 203
    Shut the fuck up prole. says:

    Any questions tonight was quite telling. All the panel was totally out of touch with public opinion over Europe.

    We the public are just little people and are not capable of seeing the bigger picture.

  204. 204
    I don't need no doctor says:


  205. 205
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    Can it be used against the Global Warming Brigade too?

  206. 206
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    I’ll sign it, so will my wife and my pet dog.

  207. 207
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    Everyone should stop paying their council tax for starters.

  208. 208
    nell says:

    That’s OK. Don’t worry your little head about it.

    Cameron, cleggie and militwit are going to tell their MP’s to stop us having a say .

    So we shan’t have to worry about whether it is good for us , or costing us money or not . They’ll take the decision and save us plebs the bother.

  209. 209
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    He has Mervyn and his Inkjet working on that at the moment – and not it’s not in your interests.

  210. 210
    Anonymous says:

    Radio 4 did a fantastic prog mid week. It seems that Europe is a declining market and the developing worlds is where we should be aiming our trade at.

    Funny that as all those years ago Ted Heath was told the same and to abandon our global Commonwealth trading links for isolated European links was folly. Unfortunately I believed Ted that we were only entering into a common market so I voted yes.

  211. 211
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Not the answer I expected from you.

  212. 212
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    They might as well. If they don’t they’re all going to lose their seats by the time of the next election. The people are not going to take another 3+ years of Lord Snooty.

  213. 213
    nell says:

    Was that the bernardjenkins, sarahteather version from that upmarket torquay boys school?

    Out of touch with our feelings on the EU? – this lot were out of touch full stop.

    gordon had more empathy with the electorate than them!!

  214. 214
    I don't need no doctor says:

    What a wonderful opportunity for that country. Imagine the good their oil wealth could do. Health care, Education, Housing, Infrastructure.
    Let’s hope the future Libya sets an example to the rest of the world.

  215. 215
    Nick Clegg says:

    I’ll take us back in.

  216. 216
    nell says:

    For crying out loud – irony? tongue in cheek? sarcasm against the ruling elite?

  217. 217
    2 Faced says:

    Those condemning the shooting of the Qaddafi prisoner, why are they not condemning the shooting of the Bin Laden prisoner?

  218. 218
    Horatio Catfood Chegwin ESQ says:


  219. 219
    albacore says:

    Don’t you feel sorry for wavy Davy?
    He had it all, potatoes and gravy
    He sat there and let it drop in his lap
    No effort, no sweat, but Brown being crap
    There’s no way that he could have lost this vote
    (Name me one MP that isn’t a scrote)
    Even if he did, the result’s not binding
    And there’s such a long, long trail a-winding
    From government spiel to ought getting done
    He could just have carried on having fun
    What did he learn in those halls at Eton
    To play daft games and always get beaten?

  220. 220
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    Exactly I will never vote LibLabCon again. Vote UKIP.

  221. 221
    Mussolini says:

    Let’s hope he’s seen the execution of an unpopular leader who neglected the wishes of his people

  222. 222
    Chuka lies says:

    For those who missed it, this is Chuka on Brillo’s show lying about leaving his phone on. The fact he’ll lie about such an insignificant thing sums up Labour.

  223. 223
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    Yep, but when the people kick you all out and hang you from lamp posts, you won’t be looking so good.

  224. 224
    Out of Spin says:

    On the whole one has to give spin doctors a bit of respect.

    But who’s bright idea was it to compare Ed takes on Big Biz, to Alien Vs Predator?

  225. 225
    annette curton says:

    Every good boy deserves favour?, (E G B D F).

  226. 226
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    I mean just think of the pathetic policing of the riots in the Summer. What happens when 1 million pissed off voters hit the streets of London and head for Westminster.

    Don’t think it will happen? If Merv keeps printing money it will.

  227. 227
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    They’re all getting pay-offs from the EU into their private bank accounts – or party donations.

  228. 228
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Calm down dear, it was only sarcasm.

  229. 229
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    Piss off back to Tory HQ.

  230. 230
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Did these same people condem Gaddafi’s torture and murder over the last 40 years?
    It’s amazing who comes out of the woodwork when something like this kicks off. Justifying their own existence springs to mind.

  231. 231
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Denial is the labour way.

  232. 232
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    Either that or another News of the World Hacking scandal.

  233. 233
    not a machine says:

    Huhne was wrong to have not considered carbon capture more carefully , come to think of it so should have the treasury and ex ministers, I mean why didnt it occure that , putting gas back into the ground would require the use of energy , thereby making the energy use maths innefficent . It was a labour project , so clearly there was a triumph of lobbiest over maths when it was set up .

    However I have some other bones to pick , pretty much everyone excepts that recycling of refuse is the way to go , so prioroitising that would be good ,esp in those areas still keen on landill . I havent quite settled on what collection method is best , but clearly large towns and cities would be better having sorting depots , and an on site disposal system , and a method of incineration that is clean and technologically advanced . I have studied some of the incinerators , they are often not locally popular despite the location being more efficent , they typically have design constraints requireing a sort of hearth and the material is fed in , the mass burn is then one of varying temperature on different materials and some not to good emissions which require expensive scrubbing . Dealing with some materials and reuse before burning is one way , but I am surprised that we havent yet seen a different approach in what will become the norm in the future , why has no money been invested in High temperature burning ? and establishing what size such power stations would be ? I understand (although still inefficent) that boiler systems are better than gas turbines , so why are we not looking at
    1) the efficency of power stations
    2) building high temp incinerators for refuse .(Iam not sure how size and efficency would work ie minmum size of generator station but less road movements is better )

    the waste from biomass incineration has other uses , so there will be perhaps clean ash and dirty ash power stations . there then comes the problem of what do with dirty incineration ash , there may be some metals that can be removed , but even then it must be disposed of securly , which may be simialr to what nuclear industry has to do , and so will need costing in as toxic is different to radioactive .

    What perhaps I am trying to get at , is that we will have to burn waste and refuse that we dont recycle , it is better to ensure products consider a need to cleanly burn , but that is complex , but why not invest some proper research and test plant , for high temp incineration , co funded by business and get these into service ASAP . there are a number of syngas plants floating around waiting for planning , in my view these are 70s technology and perhaps not as efficent as the brouchers say and still adopt this mass burn approach and lots of scrubbers .
    I hate to say it but Huhne is not that informative on which is the best tech to select and given 18mths have now elapsed his selections and motivations towards certain techs strike me as odd and obtuse , i would think becomming a world leader in hightemp clean burn approach would be a wise Uk investment as othe countries will be in the same boat .

    I know we have a rubbish conference in the EU at the moment :), but some considerations for the UK now may reap returns when we get over the debt problems and a new global exports , besides we seem to have a lot graduates unemployed , but it would be better if it bore fruit quicker than CCP

  234. 234
    FckOffCameronUTreasonousCnt says:

    good one.

  235. 235
    nell says:

    That’s OK Duckie.

  236. 236
  237. 237
    Barnehurst Bob says:

    It’s not just you, this is a critical moment for CMD and his party. His bed rock support, the people who still voted Conservative in ’97, are being pushed towards UKIP by his whips. That split could let Labour back in with the help of the Liberals. God, I don’t know whats worse, more Labour or more Liberals. I do know I’ll never vote Conservative again if they vote against democracy on Monday.

  238. 238
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  239. 239
    nell says:

    Lord what planet does she live on that she has only just noticed!!

    What it would be like to live in that luxury westminster bubble . I guess gaddafi once experienced something similar!!

  240. 240
    AC1 says:

    BBC pick the “panel”
    BBC are totally out of touch with public opinion (because of the unique way they extort).

  241. 241
    AC1 says:

    It’s not done much good for this country the government providing those services….

    Maybe Libyans should just get an EQUAL oil-dividend and buy the services they need like any rational person would.

  242. 242
    nell says:

    let’s think now – condemning voices against gaddafi?

    bliar? mandy? gordon? berlusconni? sarkozy?- who else was keen to be photographed shaking the bloodied hand of this tyrant?

  243. 243
    Useless Woman says:

    Sally. What did your husband first see in you? And can he still see it?

  244. 244
    nell says:

    Lying is labour’s first reaction to any question.

  245. 245
    Common sense says:

    A very long post Mr Machine. But it has always made perfect sense to me that to incinerate waste and generate electricity from it is a no brainer. Why dump a fuel resource into landfill?

  246. 246
    AC1 says:

    No, it REALLY is a pie. The “pastry” is very fatty to stop it dissolving, which does make it crispy when cooked.

    It beat my estimations*…

    I was thinking 1/10 it scored about 3.

  247. 247
    nell says:

    Being a cynic I suspect, tonight, that there is a rearguard action going on to ‘rescue saif’ and get him to the ICC.

    Of course bliar, mandy and the nate club wouldn’t want it known that they are the guiding force and unlimited funds behind it.

  248. 248
    nell says:

    cameron’s not going to score there then is he?

  249. 249
    Barnehurst Bob says:

    Career before country, I should be so lucky. The pillock that represents me won’t even reply to my emails on the subject. However, he has found time to table the following question to the oversea development minister asking:

    ‘what plans he has to provide aid to British Overseas
    Territories and Dependants in the next 12 months’

    You really couldn’t make it up!!

  250. 250
    chukka, you are a tit says:

    why couldnt he just have laughed and said oh fuck sorry, oops…
    Was that not in the training manual at politician camp?

  251. 251
    nell says:

    I think I’d have to say:

    ‘ sally – what did your husband do to deserve you?’

  252. 252
    VD says:

    To lie is Chuka’s gut reaction.

    Be careful Luciana, be very careful as Chuka’s greasy pole has warts.

  253. 253
    not a machine says:

    I have a lot of respect for Dave , considering what labour have done and coalition politics , however he wishes to be his own man with his own mind ,on what he is about .
    I am sure many people can forgive some errors in such dire circumstances , the ruthless complexities of the vested business and political interests are not a good diet to dine upon , but if any forget , that westminster has not cured it self of the labour deciets towards the public , he will not be needed change .

    It is hard to understand why Gay marriage arrived (hardly popular or ecnomically important) and yet some costly projects seem not to have been properly fisked by him , and few too many polices have come out , poorly presented , most of the done by his right hand man Mr osbourne .

    but as you say some are not too sure if we are getting what is needed let alone was or was not on the manfesto . I am assuming things will change when the eurozone chrisis is resolved better , but that is the problem I have been assuming for some time and not had much guarentee . I dont much care If his cabinet considers people who oppose millenia of the idea of marriage between man and woman , are now deemed unwanted archaic bigots , i do care very much that it is contrary to the emphasis he had on marriage before the GE , and as with his stance on a free vote , i did not back somthing he did not say he would stand himself upon .

    An incase Eds ticket people are reading this , I still will be more than pleased to ensure we dont get another round of Labour , even if i no longer agree with conservative direction .

  254. 254
    As sponsoured and endorsed by Dve I dont know how many houses I own Camerbentos says:

    Sam and I are cutting back on our carbon foot print
    We flew this in from Uruaguay on Sir Richards moon balloon
    I found £50k down the back of the sofa , its a weekend treat for er indoors

  255. 255
    ASDA PR says:

    We endorse this pie as carbon neutral
    Care for a poly bag?
    £100 fucking quid please!
    Also re cycle yout unwanted DVDS here

  256. 256
    Himmel says:

    I can not imagine any father wanting his daughter to marry Chuka. He just so loves himself.

  257. 257
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The ICC have found that Saif has a suspect bowling action and are investing and in the mean time have supsended him from bowling.

  258. 258
    annette curton says:

    Not until he can come up with a good riff, too much Milly Vanilli reprise.

  259. 259
    not a machine says:

    I just worries me when I see these technologies , and realise we need to make a leap in the thinking . Honestly you would be amazed at when you ask how sound they are what they tell you , its as though they have come straight out of the lobby dinner to the public .

  260. 260
    Tony Blair says:

    I’d like to make a toast to my old friend Gaddafi. He made me even richer than I already was.

  261. 261
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    This for BF, Love you xxxxx

  262. 262
    P. Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    ‘Rearguard action going on’. I’m your man !!

  263. 263
    not a machine says:

    “i found £50 under the back of the soafa”

    where are you living , under the parkingmeter at tescos , i always drop my change when trying to find ticket , you lucky sod.

    Could just be a massive sofa i presume

  264. 264
  265. 265
    Anonymous says:

    Me too, but what I can’t understand is Labour’s reluctance to deliver a coup de grace by supporting the motion. The only conclusion to draw is that the EU fix is in and we’re ruled by duplicitous fucking traitors. No wonder Blair got rid of the death penalty for treason – they’d all be hanging from a noose!

    Oh, and judging by his comments today is there a more obseqious turncoat than Bumboy Billy Hague?

  266. 266
    3 lyings says:

    Brit national anthem after 5 years of Fray Bentosaninebob note Dave

  267. 267
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I got 2 mins in and nearly fell asleep, what the point youwanna make?

  268. 268
    Ai Carumba where did all these pies come from says:

    You too could afford a pie such as this if only you sent your old old DVDs to this adress


    A good Disney Film and with the Sainsbury special offer at the moment
    Ten days of free pies for you an your impoverished British familee

  269. 269
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    The ‘B’ in Plan ‘B’ stand for Bollox.

  270. 270
    AC1 says:

    Might as well have a vote on whether they’ll be another election.

    3 line whip against.

  271. 271
    Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Croquet, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

    A pie, a pie ! My Peerdom for a pie !!

  272. 272
    Northern Convert says:

    Ey blud, wachoo as ad 4 T ? INNITT!!!

  273. 273
    AC1 says:

    Blogger called Lola.

  274. 274
    AC1 says:

    I think the contradictory principles he enunciates are rather damning.

  275. 275
    Northern Convert says:

    What loony tunes character was deaf?

    Gaddaffi… DUCK!!!!

  276. 276
    Dave goes hardcore on Liams ass says:

  277. 277
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Rats and mice overrun BBC Newsroom!

    Well I for one thought that was where they lived – but leaving that aside – surely there are enough BBC FAT CATS to sort out the problem?


  278. 278
    Katya says:

    I am happy to settle for a House of Commons Teddy Bear.

  279. 279
    sockpuppet #68 says:

    Some of us don’t feel the urge to express our ‘views’, Billy. Some of us know where we are headed without feeling the need to have a mass debate. Some of us have known the truth since long before you were born. Some of us are unfazed by the fact that the Western world is about to fuck itself up the arse. Some of us are protected. Some of us are surprised that it has taken so long to reach this momentous point in time. Some of us view your inane twitterings and laugh as we remind ourselves that you have your nose buried deep within the Westminster arse-bubble (a distraction that is of zero consequence to us) and that your IQ is probably equal to, or less than, the politicians you claim to be holding to account. Some of us come here to marvel at the sheer desperation of an insecure, narrow-minded bird-brain as he tries to, single-handedly, remould the politcal scene into something he recognises from his days fapping off in the SCR to a life-sized poster of Thatcher. Some of are not surprised that he went on to gain a worthless PPE degree at Keele, probably, and decided to ……………………………..

  280. 280
    Dave goes hardcore on Liams ass says:

    I prefer bullets but just humilliate the ficking wankers with a shit pie and a
    good bitch slap with your flip flops

  281. 281
    B345t of Bentoss says:

    Like the crust of a hollow pie its way above your thinking organ booth boy

  282. 282
    Tim Gittos says:

    Your vote does not count anyway. You are in a super safe seat. Do you think Greg really gives a fcuk about you? He could devolve Chelsea and Fulham to Brussels tomorrow and the the locals would still turn out to vote for the one with the blue rosette.

    OK I’m bitter. ’twas me the hapless UKIP candidate.

  283. 283
    B345t of Bentoss says:

    Boris gets his thang on wit Davy an his Baby gravy

    Vote wit Dave its chrissmuss

  284. 284
    Spartacus says:

    I’m guessing Aids doesn’t bother you either

  285. 285
    E says:

    Given an edit function, I’d probably tweak a few bits.

  286. 286
    Brrrritain (middle class lisp) says:

    What a total and utter c’unt this Balls fellow is.

  287. 287
    E's are good says:

    Fuck off tat.

  288. 288
    The Paragnostic says:

    My titanium coated butt plug protects me from any NWO gay infections.

  289. 289
    Divide & Conquer says:

    Agreed, a total fucking traitors mong of the highest order is our Dave!

    But why I hear you ask? Well he’s on the liberal elite pay roll just like Tony Blair and the rest of the traitorous scum, we’re all being played like c’unts.

    Just vote for any party at all as long as it’s NOT the three headed LibLabCon.

  290. 290
    Midlands Nutter says:

  291. 291
    Filthy Lucre says:

    I agree no: 200. There’s got to be a really good reason why we should stay in the E.U. but I’m b@ggered if I know why.
    As you said, no-one’s explaining anything to us.
    I think the first instincts of most British people is to avoid any dealings with Johnny Foreigner, so WHY do the powers that be want to keep us in the EU and make themselves unpopular with the electorate? It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

  292. 292
    Filthy Lucre says:

    Well said ‘not a machine’. People have forgotten the slavery under Leiber.
    I too am puzzled by this gay marriage millarky, especially as Cameron keeps banging on about family values. I find the whole concept of h.o.m.o.s.e.x.u.a.l.i.t.y. nauseating and unnatural, and surely to goodness this Country has much more important matters to contend with.

  293. 293
    One for the pot says:

    I think you will find she had her power to prorogue (what an appropriate word!) parliament removed by the last lot of incumbents. But if things continue as at present, she may need to call upon her Generals and Admirals to exercise their authority.

  294. 294
    One for the pot says:

    Bob, That’s what is known as a ‘planted’ question where some stooge MP is roped in to ask something so anodyne in order to give the relevant Minister the opportunity to announce his latest ‘initiative’ on how to waste our money. Just watch them preen themselves as they go through with the charade.

  295. 295
    Skinny git says:

    Yes, far too broad – a bit like his backside then.

  296. 296
    Skinny git says:

    No sir!! They should junk the entire whipping system and let MPs vote according to the wishes of their constituents rather than those of some hidden hands in a smoky backroom somewhere either across the Atlantic or in the eastern Med to the south of Beirut.

  297. 297
    One for the pot says:

    No, not Europe, the EU. Happily, Europe still ap*ears to be fixed quite firmly to its tectonic plate.

  298. 298
    One for the pot says:

    The Spinners was a very popular folk singing group (from Liverpool?) about 30 years ago.

  299. 299
    One for the pot says:

    Pardon my iggerance, but what’s a ukase?

  300. 300
    One for the pot says:

    Careful! You’ll have Billy slavering all over you next….

  301. 301
    One for the pot says:

    Or a well publicised, but eventually fruitless, raid on some house in Bra’ford wherein dwell brethren of a darker hue?

  302. 302
    Fulham fan says:

    Craven Frottage sounds good!

  303. 303
    Hari ate Harpic says:

    Sir William, For your information, that happens when a male member of the species becomes what is known as “a husband” – and don’t you forget it.

  304. 304
    Raging Harpie says:

    As the song says” Can’t buy me love”…

  305. 305
    Raging Harpie says:

    We are giddy with admiration.

  306. 306
    Raging Harpie says:

    Er, there’s nowt as q u e e r as folk. En passant, are any other species so inclined or is it just human beans?

  307. 307
    Raging Harpie says:

    and vice versa.

  308. 308
    Raging Harpie says:

    Safe to say nowhere’s safe for Saif.

  309. 309

    Metaphysics is the finding of bad reasons for what we believe upon instinct; but to find these reasons is no less an instinct. – Francis Herbert Bradley

    How to sort out all the law firms? Rep.eal the Yuman Rights Act. Same with Elfin Safety and 10,000 other examples of bad legislation made over the last two decades. Sell off or close down the BBC. Make the loser of a civil suit responsible for all expenses of the one who wins, thus axing “no win no fee”. I have no objection to the setting up of soup kitchens in Lincoln’s Inn Fields for the mob next door, also Gray’s Inn, Inner and Middle Temple (who would have to walk.) They would surely be required.

  310. 310
    Lord Prescott of somewhere up t'north says:

    Did someone mention pies???

  311. 311
    50 Calibre says:

    Bliar, you might regret mentioning ‘toast’. Lots of people like the smell of toast in the morning.

    Apocalypse soon…

  312. 312
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Oh, God. Don’t tell me you use Twitter? Please, no.

    It’s only for morons like Ueber-tosser/traitor Cameron, and Daily Mailygraph journalists, surely?

    You’ll be alerting us to new Google Doodles, next. ;-)

  313. 313

    All three party leaders say we should not have a referendum.

    Seems like the best endorsement of having one that we could possibly get.

  314. 314

    Аll thrее pаrty lеаdеrs sаy wе shоυld nоt hаvе а rеfеrеndυm.

    Sееms lіkе thе bеst еndоrsеmеnt оf hаvіng оnе thаt wе cоυld pоssіbly gеt.

  315. 315
    Libyan Truck Driver says:

    We have a better democracy.

  316. 316
    The Man who made a massive mis-calculation says:

    “Dave” warns….”We have 5 days to save the World Economy or should THAT read Conservative Party!” Meanwhile the flood of his MPs signing the motion for EU referendum is becoming a deluge as whips go into panic mode promising anything(bar a referendum) after threats fail to deter backbenchers as up to 6 Junior Minsters threaten to resign(mm seeing is believing of course)


  317. 317
    Pied Piper of Ye Olde Englande says:

    isn’t it about this time of year when an MP decides to give up champagne for a week to understand what it’s like to be poor?

  318. 318
    Well it's a thought says:

    How about him saving us from him and his stupidity, two nutters in a row as PMs how much more can the people of this country take, I thought this loon was for localism, seems it’s just for us as he swans around the world on the back of the taxpayer..

  319. 319
    Anonymous says:

    Britain today

    What Democracy

    Democracy, in Britain is nothing but a lie.
    From the dictionary the word should be deleted
    Whilst democracy’s the slogan that politicians cry
    The majority of us feel that we’ve been cheated

    With political correctness forced upon us every day
    Just in case the casual word may cause offence
    If you have a strong opinion be careful what you say
    Even though you may be talking perfect sense

    MP’s pull out all the stops to try to fill our shops
    With G.M foods that we don’t want to eat
    Whilst cameras check our speed on roads where there’s no need
    We’d be better off with coppers on the beat

    When we joined the E.E.U. I’m sure we took the view
    It would give a larger market for our trade
    Yet now our mighty nation has a legal obligation
    To abide by regulations Brussels made

    The referendum was denied, the politicians lied
    These decisions were decided by the few
    It was no doubt understood; M.Ps thought it would be good
    With a total disregarding of our view

    If when confronted by a crook you land a good right hook
    You may think that he deserved it, it’s his fault
    When he is on probation you’ll be locked up down the station
    To appear before a jury for assault

    When travellers leave a mess, you’d be spot on if you guess
    That authorities will turn an eye that’s blind
    Yet drop a fag end in the street and before it hits your feet
    You will get an instant ticket and be fined

    If asylums what you seek and English you can’t speak
    Benefits are paid for your welfare
    But if you’re British and your old, your property is sold
    To pay for any time you are in care

    If you chastise your child, because he has run wild
    That law will on your collar give a tug
    For no matter what you say, do-gooders rule the day
    Even though the child may grow into a thug

    In the interest of fair play referendums are the way
    The majority decide just where we go
    We shouldn’t change our laws or take part in futile wars
    To massage a political ego

    When we are due a big election, parties vie for our affection
    Promising the things they have in store
    It fair gives us the hump; they should take a running jump
    They must realise we’ve heard it all before.

    It is hard to understand who governs our fair land
    Or who it is that makes up all our rules
    Our politicians bore us, or totally ignore us
    Democracy in Britain! It’s for fools!

  320. 320
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Boring Balls.

  321. 321
    simon says:

    The Tories better remember what happened to them after signing Maastricht….

  322. 322
    Fabians are Evil says:

    The man is a fool

  323. 323
    The Racially-Oppressed Caravan-dwelling, Slave-owning Rathkeale Real Estate Barons says:

    Ah now then! Oi wants a piece of that, so I does!

  324. 324
    Tinfoil Schirmmütze says:

    Doubtless you’d have a solution for ‘these people’. Whereupon your people and progressive leftists would hold hands a circle-dance: DMs stomping and keffiyehs a-flutter (this arts event sponsored by The Guardian).

  325. 325
    Pedant#1 says:

    .Should we issue Plod with shade cards to make sure they arrest the PC proprtion of offenders?

  326. 326
    Atar says:

    How about that bastard Hague and his so-called Euroscepticism?

    Don’t make me laugh!

    The Cons have pulled the “anti-EU at heart, just wait and see” trick way too often now.

    We can see them as the liars and NuLab clones they are.

    UKIP from now on until we get a fair referendum.

  327. 327
    Moddy Botty says:

    Arh whips don’t the Tories just love them. Cammers just might take umbridge and to his troops, ” Well if you do not like my leadership and you lot do not like the coalition, well I might as well call a general election.

  328. 328
    Atar says:

    Why not write to your MP online, and tell them how you’d like them to vote on Monday?


    Don’t leave it to someone else, it only takes five minutes.

  329. 329
    Sat_at_home says:

    How about throwing Cameron’s words back at them?

    (On Gordon Brown) “First he was against the Constitution, then he was for it; one day he promised a referendum, the next he backtracked. While he has chopped and changed, our position has remained exactly the same. We are the only major party to have consistently said that it is up to the British people to decide on our future in Europe.”


    Slimy salesman.

  330. 330
    Meet the (Euro) Fockers says:


  331. 331
    BBC Climate Kommissar says:

    It’s all due to climate change – we can afford to heat our offices while the plebs freeze, so the vermin have to move back home with us.

  332. 332
    Political Sage says:

    Remember thta something has to be denied 3 times before we know it is true:

    Con-merchants: you do not need a referendum
    Lab-orious: : you do not need a referendum
    Limpdumbs: : you do not need a referendum

    We badly need a referendum

    QED etc etc

  333. 333
    Voter says:

    At least we can now let them know what we feel because of the internet and blogs like this. If it was not for the internet scoundrels like Handycock, Huhne and Fox would still be getting away with it.

  334. 334
    four by two says:

    Don’t think so mate… none of that was about freedom for the goyez.

  335. 335
    Fed-Up Taxpayer says:

    I have emailed my local MP to point out what the “Democrat” bit means – assuming the silly bitch can actually read something rather than just fill out expense forms.

    I shall delight in expressing joy/anger following her vote on Monday

    I also took great delight in emailing Greg hands’ own words back to him.

    Only he can deciide whether I call him out for a fraud on Monday.

  336. 336
    Moddy Botty says:

    For the same reason Cammers will not call the the buff against his internal opposition, even now I don’t think any party would get a large majority, Liebore because the electorate don’t trust them, as far as Cammers is concerned he might not get what he has now people are hurting and they are seeing no benefit, LibDems no that they will be decimated and the ConDems jointly have not yet have not set up the electoral boundaries.

  337. 337
    not now cato says:

    The vote on whether to have a referendum could mark the day the tories lost the next election.

  338. 338
    not now cato says:

    Given that UK Independence is the main aim of the UK Independence Party, it seems a pretty safe bet.

  339. 339
    liam fox says:

    can i bum a fag?

  340. 340
    Tut's revenge says:

    The pyramids were not built using slaves. Conscripts maybe, but not slaves.

  341. 341
    David Attenborough getting rich on the bbc tax says:

    of which species?

  342. 342
    Heather Mills says:

    I want money, that’s what I want.

  343. 343
    Margaret Thatcher says:

    Right on.

  344. 344
    Anonymous says:

    Ohhhh! there ain’t no bones in snott, there ain’t no bones in snott , there maybe bones in a cold meat pie ,But there ain’t no bones in snott( I thank you)

  345. 345
    Appalled Constituent says:

    But it looks like Handycock is still getting away with it. In Portsmouth he is so well protected by ‘local businessmen’, their heavy gangs and bent officers at the City Council that he can carry on just as he chooses. Time now for MI5 to make their move, to release the pictures and to declare him a threat to the nation’s security as well as to the girls in their teens and twenties.

  346. 346
    Nemo says:

    Your average commoon or garden MPs are just lobby fodder in all parties except for the odd maverick

  347. 347
    They're all the same says:

    FCO 30/1048: Heath knew it was treason

    This classified government document dated April 1971 remained secret until it was released under the 30 year rule. It proves Heath’s government knew the 1972 EEC Treaty would lead to the loss of sovereignty, and was therefore treason. They had a stunningly accurate picture of the EU, which never was the EEC (an Economic Community), expecting Britain to be abolished after the turn of the century.

    The authors, all civil servants or ministers, are very pro EU, their intent is clearly to conceal the loss of sovereignty. But they understood perfectly it would all be abolished.

    In public Heath’s government all lied the treaty would not affect our sovereignty. This includes Douglas Hurd, still an active senior Conservative, who is also both a liar and a traitor, a point we put to him at the Conservative Conference in Blackpool. He assured us his connections in the legal profession would ensure he was never convicted.

    Here are just a few of the damning sentences:

    Parliament controlled

    11. Membership of the Communities will involve us in extensive limitations upon our freedom of action.

    For the first time. Parliament is binding its successors.

    Increasing loss of sovereignty

    The loss of external sovereignty will however increase as the Community develops, according to the intention of the preamble to the Treaty of Rome “to establish the foundations of an even closer union among the European peoples “.

    Small threats to sovereignty, like Burgess, Blunt and Maclean’s selling secrets to the Russians, attract 30 year jail sentences. The penalty for actually loosing even small parts of it until 1998 was “to hang by the neck until dead.”

    King Charles 1st was executed for treason that was, by comparison, relatively minor.

    Lord Haw Haw (�Germany Calling� – William Joyce) was hanged for treason on 3rd January 1946. His efforts on behalf of Germany were tiny by comparison with Edward Heath�s.

    Our law subservient

    12. (ii) The power of the European Court to consider the extent to which a UK statute is compatible with Community Law will indirectly involve an innovation for us, as the European Court’s decisions will be binding on our courts which might then have to rule on the validity or applicability of the United Kingdom statute.

    The writ of a foreign power is not allowed under the British Constitution, which Heath was breaking.

    Predicting monetary and military union

    18..but it will be in the British interest after accession to encourage the development of the Community toward an effectively harmonised economic, fiscal and monetary system and a fairly closely coordinated and consistent foreign and defence policy. If it came to do so then essential aspects of sovereignty both internal and external would indeed increasingly be transferred to the Community itself.

    No withdrawal, sovereignty diminished

    22. Even with the most dramatic development of the Community the major member states can hardly lose the “last resort” ability to withdraw in much less than three decades. The Community’s development could produce before then a period in which the political practicability of withdrawal was doubtful. If the point should ever be reached at which inability to renounce the Treaty (and with it the degeneration of the national institutions which could opt for such a policy) was clear, then sovereignty, external, parliamentary and practical would indeed be diminished.


    After entry there would be a major responsibility on HMG and on all political parties not to exacerbate public concern by attributing unpopular measures or unfavourable economic developments to the remote and unmanageable workings of the Community.

    Transfer of the Executive

    24 (ii) The transfer of major executive responsibilities to the bureaucratic Commission in Brussels will exacerbate popular feeling of alienation from government.

    Erosion of sovereignty

    24 (v) …The more the Community is developed … the more Parliamentary sovereignty will be eroded. …The right … to withdraw will remain for a very considerable time. …The sovereignty of the State will surely remain unchallenged for this century at least.

    The EU Bureaucracy will rule

    25. The impact of entry upon sovereignty is closely related to the blurring of distinctions between domestic political and foreign affairs, to the greater political responsibility of the bureaucracy of the Community and the lack of effective democratic control.

    The writers understanding of the future of the EU was bang on. They wanted the bureaucracy to take over from the democracy. The loss of sovereignty was desirable for them, legally traitors working deep inside our government.

    With thanks to David Barnby. Who got the original documents. David Noakes. 07974 437 097

  348. 348
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    Cameron and Co are starting the fear campaign of what might happen if we leave the EU- bllcks the lot of it. They forget what might happen further if we stay and how much the already inflated costs might soar further. The EU want a share of the UK profits from the city to waste on anti-democratic shite. Regulation already has cost us billions of pounds- £1.8 billion each year- and made us drop from 7th to 12th in world competitiveness as a direct result of EU regulation.

    Write to your MPs and do not let Cameron, Clegg and Co create fear to stop the wave of people wanting out of the EU. Cowardly bully boy tactics in Westminster to quell MPs voting as they wish. Estimated at 65-70% of the population according to recent public surveys. How dare the arrogance of politicians ignore the public’s wishes.

  349. 349
    HenryV says:

    PM praises the Libyan people for taking their own destiny in hand. Yet tells his own people they are too stupid to decide.

  350. 350
    Eeyore says:

    Agree completely. CallMeDave committed to these debates for 100,000-signature petitions, and now he’s got one. The hypocrisy in whipping the vote is beyond contempt. He has turned me in only two years from a Tory voter into a UKIP supporter and this finally confirms it.

    A head of pressure for change from the grassroots would vastly strengthen his hand in dealing with Brussels – what better way to demonstrate it than de-whip the debate and run a referendum? If we were to stay in the results would really scare the Eurocrats and force concessions from them.

    What should our response be to the outcome of Monday’s debate? Put up another, identical petition. It would get 100,000 signatures within hours.

  351. 351
    Archie says:

    Ha, ha! now THAT’S funny, Sir W!

  352. 352
    Archie says:

    Yeah, Arianna Unpronounceable!

  353. 353
    Archie says:

    Nell. “Cameron………………..DEFT at handling these things”? He’s the WORST tactician/people handler/situation reader the Tories have had for many a yonk!

  354. 354
    pissed off voter says:


    most of our honourable members have made public statements on the EU referendum and/or EU membership so how about a thread inviting your audience to submit relevant quotes fom their own MPs. Should be quite revealing when linked to how they vote today.

    Might also be interesting to note those who vote against a referendum and also happened to be expense cheats. No doubt their constituents would find that informative.

Seen Elsewhere

Bashir Booted Out By Respect | Respect
Americans Try Haggis | Guardian
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Steven Woolfe For UKIP Leader? | Asa Bennett
Mohammed — in Pictures | Speccie
Leon Brittan’s Accusers Must Show Their Evidence | Dan Hodges
New Saudi King Renames Roads While Body Still Warm | TechnoGuido
In Davos, Carrying a BlackBerry is a Status Symbol | Business Insider
New Labour in Peep Show Quotes | Telegraph
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC
I Am Bearing My Breasts | Laura Perrins

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers