October 21st, 2011

BIS Officials Bite At Vince’s Briefing

Vince Cable has taken to the pages of the FT to brief against Thresesa May and Iain Duncan Smith:

An ally of Mr Cable said: “Vince really wants to come forward with a good package for business this autumn but we want to see other departments putting their weight behind these efforts. They need to bring something to the table.”

His line is that they do not realise how serious the growth situation is, however Vince might want to make sure his own department is in order before he whispers into hacks ears. Guido understands that some officials at Business Innovation and Skills are none too happy with the drop in stature their department has had since the old man took over from Mandy. Although he had his faults, they feel Prince of Darkness made the department’s presence felt in every nook and cranny of Whitehall. They are moaning at a lack of “kudos” these days and gently remind the Minister in charge of growth that it’s going to require more than just sniping against others for not cutting enough red tape…


  1. 1
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Sack him – please sack him

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    A socialist in charge of buisness?

  3. 3
    Ah! Monika says:

    There’s an ‘R ‘ missing Guido

  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Can i put this plug for #Movember up please Guido?

  5. 5
    Ah! Monika says:

    Or -e =s

  6. 6
    Ah! Monika says:

    No need for the oxy

  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    What’s a collegue?

  8. 8
    Vince dropped in a statue? says:

    Statue? Oh, you mean stature.

  9. 9
    John Prescott says:

    I’ve dropped many statues.

  10. 10
    Doktorb says:

    If they want stature, they could be reformed as a purely Trade & Industry department, hoik Media Regulation to Culture, Universities to Education and farm Vince out to Leader of the House.

  11. 11
    Ah! Monika says:

    Or status keep up

  12. 12
    Azure a bend or says:

    What the fuck are “skills”? The ability to over a Microwank Office-whatever document?

  13. 13
    Tuscan Tony says:

    “the drop in statue ”

    Is that like a drop-in needle exchange?

  14. 14
    Brill Yo says:

    Last night’s This Week was a hoot in case you missed it. Fatbutt was back on and the obligator celeb guest was Adam Ant. Brillo had some great one-liners about Portaloo and Fatbutt.

  15. 15
    Steve Miliband says:

    The Home Office and Work and pensions have enough of their own challenges without St Vince sticking his socialist nose in

  16. 16
    Dave Allen says:

    Idi Amin’s telephone

  17. 17
    Ah! Monika says:

    Billy’s made it to official typist for order-order.

  18. 18
    Kitsunegari says:

    Vince Cable?

    He has very little business experience, even less innovation and no skill.

  19. 19
    Pedantic Twat says:

    Its like a colleague, but without the ‘a’.

  20. 20
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  21. 21
    Mornington Crescent says:

    If Cable wants colleagues to “put their weight” behind his efforts, perhaps he ought to try putting his own weight behind the Government’s efforts.

    Life, dear Vince, is a two-way street.

  22. 22
    On the Job says:

    Looks like the Liberals are now finding out first hand how much the EU controls UK trade and how little power they actually have to do anything constructive.

  23. 23
    Steve Miliband says:

    The devil is in the detil

  24. 24
    Sadiq Khan says:

    Someone told me there’s a new film that’s all about me. It’s apparently called C/untasian.

  25. 25
    Ah! Monika says:

    They’re making that sofa smaller and smaller, but I can’t fathom who is destined to end up on who’s lap.

  26. 26
  27. 27
    Joshua Tetley & Son says:

    Excellent idea … change the name to Department of Trade and Industry …. it has a catchy ring to it, anyone would think it was called that before !

  28. 28
    Alex says:

    “They are moaning at a lack of “kudos” these days and gently remind the Minister in charge of growth that it’s going to require more than just sniping against others for not cutting enough red tape…”

    Why should we give a toss about the kudos of civil servants. The government is still spending £150 bn a year more than it collects in taxes. Civil servants should make a difference considering how much they cost, and if they can’t do that they should collect their P45s and go.

  29. 29
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  30. 30
    Fall Out says:

    I wish Vince would use his nuclear option. It would be quite amusing to see the mushroom cloud coming out of his arse.

  31. 31
    My friend says:

    having watched Nick Robinson on BBC News at 10 talking over a sequence of video clips of Gaddafi-ordered atrocities in the UK, which culminated in a ten second clip of Blair greasing into a meeting with Gaddafi himself only 18 months or so ago, I think we should be asking Bliar for his own views of the demise of Muammar Gaddafi.

  32. 32
    Nuke Brussels & Strasbourg says:

    It’s all down to not knowing what he is shagging. As a Limp-Dumb it could be anything from a Teen Russian Spy to a local rent-boy to a strangely bandy grey squirrel.

  33. 33
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Nick Boles Nick Boles…where are you !!!!!!

    Come on blue noses, where is Nick Boles today…I’m getting withdrawal symptoms..I haven’t had a dose of Nick for at least 24 hours.

    Shhhhhhh don’t use the word MONG very often anymore Guido… We can only wonder why

  34. 34
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Can I suggest that we have an official “Kick a socialist day”

  35. 35
    Southern Softy says:

    Fatbutt appears to be wasting away.
    Let’s hope she doesn’t know when to stop.

  36. 36
    Moussa Koussa says:

    This Blair / Gaddafi angle isnt going anywhere. Much try harder neo cons.

    The most likely outcome will be Cock Head thanking Blair.

  37. 37
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

  38. 38
    non too happy ? says:

    Franglais ??

  39. 39
    genghiz the kahn says:

    So Tony did you go to the Ralph Miliband Memorial Lecture at the LSE given by the late Colonel’s son?

  40. 40
    The Civil Service Is Too Big says:

    The kudos they have is not queuing up for the dole with all the people who have to live with the results of their incompetence.

  41. 41
    Sir William Waad says:

    Does the BIS actually do anything useful that could not be done otherwise?

  42. 42
  43. 43
    Thresesa May says:

    I’m bothrersed if I know.

  44. 44
    The Honourable Members says:

    You’ll never get anywhere in politics by shouldering personal responsibility and making unambiguous statements of regret.

  45. 45
    Fish Wife says:

    Sally Bercow is going to move into a gypsy caravan with Paddy Doherty for a channel 5 TV show. Bad taste yes. illegal no

    But what about the second half where Paddy moves into Sally’s (the taxpayer’s) pad?


  46. 46
    Sir William Waad says:

    The Guardian became known as ‘the Grauniad’ when it was typeset by union members and therefore riddled with typos. Now that Guido’s randomising his spelling, what should we call order-order?

  47. 47
    The Officer's Club says:

    Doesn’t Bercow have a horsewhip?

  48. 48
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Mmm…President of the Board of Trade – it worked for Huskisson.

  49. 49
    Cell time says:

    Is it? I’ll stop using it in the tolet then

  50. 50
    Kia says:

    No, nothing useful that I can see. Unless you are a Korean car maker.

  51. 51
    Bottom of the Barrel says:

    Stop scraping – again, Mrs. Bigcow !

  52. 52
    Ben Garcy says:

    He’s spinning out of control.

  53. 53
    Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

    The only thing these F–kers can do to help.

    1 Put the Vat up
    2 Raise the minimum wage
    3 Bit more red tape
    4 Borrow more money so we can lend it out to failing states.
    5 Tax the man in the Street with the Fraud energy policy and make him squeak

    It will help to put us out of our misery and put us all out of business now, we have been hanging by our balls for 2 year now and cant take any more.

  54. 54
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Hari fixes mistakes quite quickly.


  55. 55
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Unless it’s a good day to bury bad news.

  56. 56
    Sally Ho! says:

    Paddy wants me to show him my lucky charms

  57. 57
    Something for the weekend says:

    Probably because some words don’t have the effects the used to, like Labour, Milliband, Bliar, Balls, Brown, EU, truth, democracy, lies, corruption , CPS, judges.

  58. 58
    smelling-bee says:

    odour-odour ?

  59. 59
    Joss Taskin says:

    Oh dear-oh dear ?

  60. 60
    Duncan Moore says:

    A tax exile millionaire property developer bankrolling Labour?

    So much for Miliband’s values, he goes weak when there’s a whiff of money.

  61. 61
    Cell time says:

    rr oder oder?

  62. 62
    Grammar School Boy says:


  63. 63
    Lord Prescott of Slowlap says:

    Hors d’oeuvre, Hors d’oeuvre. Or as we say in Ull, orderves, orderves

  64. 64
    Something for the weekend says:

    Pedants renunited.

  65. 65
    Grammar School Boy says:

    (oops sorry Mr Bee)

  66. 66
    Fish says:


    BIS were responsible for the interpretation and implementation of European regulation in this country and did so in ways that other countries didn’t. ‘Gold plating’ the regulation, I think it is now being called.

    Much of this was introduced as ‘regualtion’, not primary legislation, which means that apart from some perfunctory ‘consultation’ there was no real scrutiny in Parliament of the ball and chain that we were attaching to business in a way other countries wouldn’t.

    I travel to Denmark, from time to time, and find that their interpretation of employment law for example is unrecognisable from what has been introduced here.

    And having just left the Civil Service, where you see the self same type of ‘group thinking’ (at its worst actually) in the way its employment policies are implemented, I can assure you that unless something is done to bring a more pragmatic approach to regualtion, we’re all fucked.

    And is Vince the person to bring about that change, energy and dynanism that we need? Not a hope.

  67. 67
    Filthy Luca says:

    That b”stard Cable wants a good kick up his daft wrinkly ar”e. Silly old toad.

  68. 68
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Mandelson was at least pro-business – as long it was to his personal benefit.

    Unlce Vince shows no of understanding business at all and his public outbursts seem to hide the fact he has been one of the least effective ministers in the Coalition – exceeded only by Huhne who is actively damaging to the country. In a Cabinet largely consisting of timid nonentities it is saying something.

  69. 69
    John Wayne says:

    Sack him!….that will be the day.

  70. 70
    Al Gore 'The Orrible truth' says:

    Credit where it’s due,Vince Cable did predict the 2008 banking crisis after it happened.

  71. 71
    Spartacus says:

    Is this the caption competition come early?

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Business should be run for the benefit of UK not for the benefits of tax exiles who don’t give loyalty to their country.

  73. 73
    Al Gore 'The Orrible truth' says:

    There will be ten ton of shit and a pony left on speakers green.

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    Why? He was proved right on many things. E.g. financial melt down, banks, Rupert, etc.

  75. 75
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Hes a stupi piss soaked EU supporter.

    Hang The useless Whinging Bastard

  76. 76
    TFIF says:

    re odd error

  77. 77
    JH says:

    “Kick a socialist decade” may be more popular.

    Maybe “Kick a socialist until they stop trying to weasel their way into getting control of other people’s money while accumulating spectacular personal wealth, by claiming to be concerned for carefully selected and oh-so-trendy pet causes” would be an even greater success.

    Just trying to help.

  78. 78
    Aunt Mat says:

    Didn’t he put up Capital Gains tax from 18% to 28%

    That means that you lose your profit to taxes.

    Hardly an encouragement to business.

    If you do have a gain, you make sure that you avoid the tax, meaning NO revenue for the country.

  79. 79
    One for the pot says:

    One of the US presidential candidates at their forum yesterday suggested dispensing entirely with their Department of Commerce. Maybe we should just do the same and just let folks run their own businesses without all this government “help”.

  80. 80
    One for the pot says:

    disorder disorder?

    Or more simply, simply “ooops!”

  81. 81
  82. 82
    The Pundit Too says:

    The Peter Principle strikes again.
    Good God he only worked for Shell as a back room economist so putting him in charge of business growth is like putting an arsonist in charge of fire prevention.
    Probably I am being too kind to this old man in a hurry.

  83. 83
    The Pundit Too says:

    klasifuedog? or simply Guide o’ Falks

  84. 84
    Jack the nipper says:

    Is that a mulberry?

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