October 18th, 2011

Shocker: Russian Spy Admits Affair With “Fondler” Hancock

Self-confessed teen fondler and Liberal Democrat MP Mike Hancock is in a bit of bother, again:

Well that’s a turn up for the books…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I hope she gets all the help that is needed.


  2. 2

    Brings a new definition to sleeping with the enemy.


  3. 3
    Mz D-Annn Abbbbotttt says:

    Jah bless da gyal dem.

    Holllllllllaaaaa! Making me way to da kitchen for sone JERK chicken!

    Ya raceists init man


    • 26
      Leroy says:

      Yo Dyanne. Where’s me treeD TV you promised me, gyal? You told me your bwoy waz gonna get me a Sonee treeD haychD TV and ting. Booka!


  4. 4
    • 49
      Phil. I. Stein says:

      With Nikita being a blokes name I was expecting Katja to be the same. Is hetero allowed in the H.o.C?


    • 76
      HM The Queen's Corgi says:

      I pity her poor Mother now she will know that her daughter had a 4 year affair with the Pervert Handycock. This knowledge is enough to push her over the edge poor woman.


  5. 6
    Mandybum says:

    The bastard must have something, don’t you think?


  6. 7
    A woman says:

    I feel queasy.


  7. 9
    Cunning Plan says:

    Did she know he was a lib dem? If so, when is she being detained under the Mental Health Act?


  8. 11
    PK says:

    Hahahahaha !

    what a shock.. the hoon.


  9. 12
    confused says:

    She deserves a medal


  10. 13
    Katia Vuvuzela says:

    Comrade Mike had very tiny cockski. Dosvedanya!


  11. 15
    Tom Watson says:

    I’d sell this country’s secrets for a Big Mac and a handjob.


  12. 16
    Lord Lucan says:

    Ok, so young attractive alleged Russian Spy sleeping with dodgy Old MP who happens to be privy to a large amount of sensitive defence information…

    This man is either naive or a traitor. Either way he has no business representing constituents in Parliament.

    However forget Clegg doing anything about it. He is a weak as P*ss.


  13. 19
    Adam Werritty says:

    Anyone need me to attend a meeting with them?


  14. 21
    Mazeltov! says:

    1000 muzee terrorists for 1 is ra eli. If it means 1 is ra eli is worth a thousand arabs, I’m not gonna disagree.


    • 32
      Israeli Government Policy says:

      I do not personally regard the whole of the remaining cities of Germany Palestinians as worth the bones of one British Grenadier Israeli conscript


  15. 28
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    that is really going beyond the call off duty!


  16. 30
    Anonymous says:

    * OLD FINGER* Mysster Bond


  17. 31
    Mike Handycapcock says:

    Eurgh! Minging.


  18. 34
    Moussa Koussa says:

    What a pile of apologist twaddle

    Enjoying the ride Guido

    Inflation, unemployment rising,
    Output and growth falling .
    Home and road fuel rocketing
    Insurance cost going stratospheric
    Strikes, Protests
    SpAds and Lobby fodder at the heart of Cockheads gov

    Cabinet of numpties

    Woeful Waris, Gimp Gove, Billy ( SAS ) Vague, Olly Letbin,
    Jolly Hockey Sticks Greening, Two Heads Willets, Loser Langsley, Fiddling Foxy
    Etc etc

    Keep up the bad work Guido. Your silly epetition , isn’t even top ten anymore
    Back to the drawing board.


    • 37
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Not read last weeks posts then?

      And todays.


    • 40
      jgm2 says:

      Labour lost. Get over it.


      • 52
        Moussa Koussa says:

        Enjoy the ONE TERM…..IF IT GETS THAT FAR


        • 61
          Engineer says:

          So what are your lot going to do if they get in next time, Moussa? Rack up even more debt?


        • 63
          Sir William Waad says:

          It can’t be less than one term, if you think about it.


        • 80
          jgm2 says:

          Yeah. I bet the two Neds are just itching to get their hands on this economy and turn it around.

          Or b) Just continue doing the same wrong thing that they did for the prior 13 years.

          To be honest it really doesn’t matter who is in power now. The damage was irreparable as far back as 2005.

          It’s fucked. And nobody can fix it without seriously pi*s*s*ing off at least half the population. Something Brown clearly lacked the guts to do and Cameron clearly lacks the guts to do. So he’s just trying to keep the show on the road long enough to scrape over the election finish-line and leave some other fucker has to sort it out.

          So another wasted four years beckons to go with the three we’ve just had.


    • 44
      Grauniad says:



    • 51
      Engineer says:

      Been on holiday, Moussa?


      • 58
        Moussa Koussa says:

        Yes. Thanks.

        Moved form my 6 star Qatar Hotel, to the 7 Star one down the road…..ALL ON UK TAX PAYERS CASH….Thanks


        • 64
          Engineer says:

          Very nice too. Hope you didn’t get sunburn. Shame it’s done nothing for your perceptiveness, but can’t have everything, I suppose.

          Looking forward to the Euro crisis?


    • 59
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      I hate to agree with Moussa but Call me fucking useless Camermong is leading the Tories to a bigger defeat than John Major.

      UKIP will poll at least 10% at the next election. Tories will be lucky to poll 25%.

      Sad but true :-(


  19. 35
    Derek Smalls says:

    On a practical note, guys: What’s wrong with being a teen-fondler?


  20. 60
    balti dodging catholic Mancunian says:

    Volga little man


  21. 62
    Mikhal Hancockski says:

    Why is this sad bastard still in his job?


    • 82
      Councillor Mike Hancock CBE MP says:

      How dare you impersonate me. I have given my life to political service, over 40 years. I was awarded the CBE for services to MENCAP, even though they sacked me. This honour and my membership of the Freemasons has been my protection for years, until this pernicious blog started exposing me and calling me a Trougher, Teen Fondler, Spy, Pervert and Sex Tourist on taxpayer’s money. Than goodness I have recently acquired a top of the range iPad on my expenses so that I can blog my defence and protect my reputation.


  22. 65
    DUDLEY ZOO says:

    We are still cleaning up the huge stinking steaming festering scottish meat turd that Gordon Brown left in the heart of Westminster


  23. 66
    Ah! Monika says:

    Gives a new meaning to ” I spy, with my little eye “


  24. 67
    Parliamentary Standards Commissioner says:

    Before you ask me again. I have already told you that I don’t have the powers to investigate either the morals of Mr Handycock or whether or not he is a Russian Spy, and Mr Handycock well knows it; so please don’t report him to me again Mr Huhne, this is a matter for someone else to investigate not me. Boaz.


    • 83
      Chris Huhne says:

      I wish to report Mike Hancock MP to You Parliamentary Standards Commissioner for being a Russian Spy and Pervert.


  25. 68
    BillyBob... says:

    Where are the umbrella sellars and Bulgarian Intelligence Services when you need them ?

    Time for a police investigation methinks :)


  26. 70
    Basilicata says:

    She would have millions for shagn Berlusconi. Or is Hancockski paying for it in Argos vouchers now? Urrrgh. How sad.


    • 132
      Katya says:

      He was paying for it with taxpayer’s money, that’s how MI5 got on to me; I was living beyond my means all thanks to Mike’s pay and expenses and kickbacks in Porstmouth. He only started purchasing a flat in London when he started his affair with me.


  27. 73
    cynic says:

    How much did he pay her?


  28. 74
    Here and Now says:

    There were 69 comments up – I had to add this one as seeing the number 69 displayed in that way made me think of Handycock muff diving…

    …now YOU need mind bleach.


  29. 75
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Vell zat ees veerrry Hinteresting wiz ze Meester Cockhandy or vas eet Randycock!!
    Put it in Mister Put in!!!


  30. 79
    Bristol Boy says:

    So now we know. Well played Katya. This time Mr.Handycock will be unable to claim ‘it was only a kiss and a cuddle’ – the formula which got him off last time.


    • 85
      Hello hello from the CPS says:

      Time now, methinks, to look at all the other sexual molesting charges he has got away with: Teenager, Mong, Romanian Orphans, Ukranian Stenographers etc etc.


      • 90
        Registrar Sexual Offender's List says:

        Why is this perverted MP not on the Sexual offenders List?


        • 92
          Steve P says:

          It is not in the least perverted for a 61 year old to want to have sex with a 21 year old.

          But it is very STUPID for a 60 year old MP to think a 21 year old RUSSIAN has a simple lust foir his body.


          • Handycock Trougher, Pervert and Russian Spy says:

            I am not 61. I am 65 years old. Please get your facts right. I was also Chair of the All Parliamentary Russian Committee and a Member of the Parliamentary Defence Committee. Boaz.


        • 118
          Princess says:

          I asked that of the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner, but he said he did not have the powers to investigate it. Hancock tried to force himself sexually on me, on a number of occasions, but of course he got away with it again.


  31. 91
    Nu Attack Dog says:

    How the f*ck is this guy still an MP?


    • 101
      Sod the Liblabcon says:

      Cos they are all bent and will look after one of their own when the chips are down.

      Only the dumb party tribalists way down the food chain actually believe all the party ideology mumbo jumbo.

      At the level of Parliament, Tory, Labour and LibDem have infinitely more in common with each other than they do with ordinary indigenous Britons.


      • 126
        bleedin obvious says:

        dumb arse people in pompey voted for him. He’s not atypical as a lib dumb either – they seem to be a troop of catemites, hypocrites and liars.


  32. 93
    Steve P says:

    MPs CANNOT be sacked.

    Indeed they can’t even resign.


  33. 104
    HM Duke of Edinburgh says:

    Well said old girl, I have been on to this Pervert and Russian Spy for some time but no one listened to me. Now, perhaps, something will be done about him. I, personally, would string him up by the balls and hang him from the yardarm of HMS Victory in Portsmouth.


  34. 109
    Mr. Potato Head says:

    Come on Putin. Show us the pictures. We need cheering up over here in the UK and this would give us some fun.


    • 114
      Vladimir Putin says:

      We have collected so many reels of film, over the years, of Handycock having sex, that it would be logistically impossible to ship them over. We are, however, at this very moment in time, digitising the films. Once this huge task is finished, we intend to sell them to the highest bidder, from the porn channels (and believe me there is some brilliant stuff on them), as Handycock is no longer of any use to us.


      • 117
        Katya's sick Mum, and Dad says:

        I hope our daughter is not on those films. Handycock is a dead man.


        • 124
          Jacqui Hancock says:

          None of these allegations are true those making them ‘are all nutters.’ Mike is a devoted, faithful husband, he has told me so.


  35. 122
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    “Well that’s a turn up for the book” – More like a turn off for the spook.


  36. 123
    True Finn says:

    We have nice answer to Russia spy we catch in Finland. We tie their balls to sauna wood and steam them alive. They not bother us much.


  37. 125
    masonic hall says:

    Mike hancock is a sexual pervert and should be sacked for all the constituents he has tried to abuse the women who has worked for him how much more evidence do the police and parliament want.

    He is like teflon nothing sticks as he is a freemason just check his ring out on his little finger.
    Whenever he’s on tv he rubs his nose to let you know hes thinking of all the women hes abusing……..




    • 127
      Jacqui Hancock says:

      All these allegations about Mike being a sexual predator are completely untrue. I should not really tell you this, but Mike has been impotent for years. He has been so worried about it, and the effect it has had on me, his wife, that he has spent most of the money he receives as an MP and a Councillor, on receiving treatment for his ailment. It has cost an awful lot of money as he has had to travel long distances for this treatment; to Moscow, St Petersburgh, Kiev, Bucharest and Odessa, where apparently the best treatment and specialists for treatment are available. Unfortunately, to date, the treatment has not been successful, but we both live in hope.


  38. 128
    Paul Flynn MP says:

    As I have said many times before and in my blog. These allegations about Mike Hancock being a Russian spy are ridiculous. I also have pointed out that we MP’s are susceptible to predatory females having very strong crushes on us and this, no doubt is where these false rumours about Mike’s sex life come from. In any case his wife says above, that he is impotent and has been for many years.


  39. 129
    Mystick1 says:

    Par for the course for an MP. With few exceptions they are all f*cking crooks, cheats, liars and perverts. Time for civil war.


  40. 131
    Portsmouth City Council Whisleblower says:

    Hancock is a special case. As well as his activities as an MP he has also been a Councillor in Portsmouth for over 40 years, where he runs everything through his masonic cronies who include senior council officers, local businessmen, some of whom are big time drug dealers and the police. He is the Head of planning, and the drug dealers launder their money through property development which he facilitates. It has got so bad that recently a listed buiding was torched because it would have reduced their profits in a major development that Harry Rednapp is a fellow partner in. At the same time the Council ruled that these developers did not have to provide the 28 social housing units that they were required to do by law. Instead they were allowed to pay £600k as an offset for a liability of between £3m and £4m. This is how the money is made, the difference being kickbacks for the Facilitator and his council cronies. There is no point complaining to the police as they, at the top level, are in it, evidenced by their currently dragging their feet over a formal complaint about the Lord Mayor sitting on a Committee that awarded her own Company a £100k contract, without her declaring an interest. Also they have been selling council properties to council members and officers, when there is supposed to be a dire shortage of social housing. All in all, total corruption between the public sector (Portsmouth City Council and Hancock) and his drug dealing, property development buddies, who seem to be invulnerable to prosecution, and have been for a long time.


  41. 133
  42. 134
  43. 135
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    He’s a rum un Guido


  44. 136
    Meanwhile, over at Vauxhall Cross says:

    We been running Cockinhand for yonks. Honey-trap old as the hills, pump the Ivans full of disinformation, they probably don’t believe it either. Keeps us all in a job.
    Peace Studies, my arse.


  45. 137
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    I told you a year ago on this blog the Russian FSB have videos of Hancock but no one believed me.


    • 138
      Russian FSB says:

      Videos? We have blockbuster, multi episode full length films, as do the Romanians, Ukranians, Moldovans and no doubt many other countries that he has visited such as Taiwan, and more recently Bahrain. This man is a global legend and has been selling his country’s secrets for sex for years.


  46. 142
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Here is my CV. After all the revelations on this blog, I have to make a few amendments:

    1. Education – None, no formal qualifications.
    2. Did not work previously as an Engineer (this implies qualifications, I have none), delete Engineer substitute Toolmaker.



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