October 11th, 2011

The Hand of Basher

David Davis is a natural contender to replace Liam Fox:

And it seems he is well aware of this fact…

UPDATE: The cracks are starting to show –  Patrick Mercer, who would love the job, has told the World at One:

“The Secretary of State for Defence is running a ministry which is under serious financial strictures but much more imp is fighting certainly one hot war in Afghanistan/Pakistan, the remains of a campaign in Libya and with all sorts of difficulties and problems and further campaigns and involvement on the horizon.The last thing that busy civil servants need and busy uniformed staff inside the Ministry of Defence is this sort of distraction with their boss.”


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    If DD joins this coalition cabniat he will go down in my view.

    He would have sacrifice his belifs.

  2. 2
    Wazzok says:

    He’s another fucker who is not averse to wasting taxpayers money for his own vanity and gain.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    You forget Bill, he is a politician, none of them have beliefs that cannot be sacrificed at the first chance of gaining power and influence..

  4. 4
    A Tory says:

    I hope DD does get the job. The cabinet badly needs a Tory in it.

  5. 5
    Sir William Waad says:

    Davis is a good man but has no specialist knowledge of Defence, as far as I’m aware.

  6. 6
    the last quango in paris says:

    the armed forces are owed consistency – lets not forget how they were treated under labour – they need a damn good reason to sack dr fox – and the fact that he has been stalked around the world is not one so far.

  7. 7
    Morgan Stanley says:

    We are so happy to have the top job in the Cabinet Office

    Revolving doors and all that

    No corruption of course

    Just the inside track on everything

    It all started in America


  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    DD will do a good job and he should be the PM.

  9. 9
    Moral Collapse Blair says:

    Heelo Jeremy

    Is that you ?

    Any news today ?

  10. 10
    Flatulent Veteran says:

    That is why David Cameron would rather stick his willy into a meat grinder than have DD in his Cabinet.

    What a grave disappointment this PM has been. Definitely not ‘what it said on the tin’.

  11. 11
    Tony Bliar is a complete cunt says:

    I admit Camoron fooled me once, he wont be doing it again………….

  12. 12
    Lord Chief Justice says:

    Just have a look at this to see how the US Government is bought


  13. 13
    Flatulent Veteran says:

    There is a clear and present need to ensure fair play. Since much innuendo has been cast around about the nature of the relationship between Dr Fox and his friend, it suggests that his conduct is directly comparable with that of John Prescott.

    If Dr Fox has been conducting an improper relationship on company time and premises, he should, surely (?), be ennobled immediately and given a pension of 47 meat pies per deum.

    Anything less would be inconsistent and unfair – after all, he is a left wing stooge who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

  14. 14
    Patrick Troy says:

    No worries. Idiot Barker has it on a promise. F***ing up energy and soon to be taking his well honed (huhned) skills to the DoD

  15. 15
    Hercule Poirot says:

    And the UK Government ?

  16. 16
    principles minciples says:

    Billy, I thought you’d collected a refund and fucked off over the ‘Aides with AIDSgate’ affair. Anybody with any principles would have done so IMHO.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    David says:

    It would be even better if DD became the Home secretary and Mrs May went to the MOD.

  19. 19
    Save the Tory Ship says:

    David Davies is one of the few Toriy MPs who should have been in the Government from the start

    He is a climate change sceptic also

    Good man…

  20. 20
    Southern Softy says:

    Perfect for the job then,
    unless he has any old flat mates hanging around.

  21. 21
    What a plonker. says:

    He was a member of the SAS in the Territorial Army ,and with his upbringing
    on South London council estates and the way that he has climbed his way up
    the slippery slope of politics would make him a very good replacement for
    Defence Secretary .

  22. 22
    Save the Tory Ship says:

    Who does ?

    Certainly not Fox

    Defence starts with enforcing security in the MOD FFS

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    They may not have the decency to walk as they know full well that Cameron is a weak Prime Minister who would rather have limping casualties (Cable, Huhne, Spelman, Clarke etc.) than risking sending anyone to the back-benches to act as lightening rods for anti-coalition sentiment.


  24. 24
    What a plonker. says:

    This is why he will properly not get the job .He would be one of the very few
    Tories in the government .

  25. 25
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Diary of Met Police head recording meetings with NI exec’s ‘lost’.

  26. 26
    Clifton Fields says:

    I think Dr Fox will have to go back to presenting the pepsi chart show on Channel 5. Shame it isn’t on anymore.

  27. 27
    Desperate Dan says:

    The psychologically unreliable David Davis would be a nightmare to work with. He’s like Cable, Huhne and Fox rolled into one. Cameron would be mad to let him anywhere near the Cabinet. This suggestion is even more stupid than the other one – some lunatic has proposed Paddy Pantsdown for Defence.

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    Fox’s “Friend” is answering questions, its not under oath or there isn’t any need to answer. So he can lie and / or not answer; in other words a complete waste of time.

  29. 29
    Sir William Waad says:

    I suppose they are, but the armed forces have done a very shoddy job in Iraq, after the invasion, and in Afghanistan – lions lead by donkeys, as ever. We lost in Basra and needed the Iraqis and the Yanks to rescue us, and we are not winning in Helmand. At some point the excuses need to stop and we should fact the fact that our tactics and generalship are not good enough.

  30. 30
    Wall Street Journal says:

    This is where UK and other power brokers go…


    Only supported to the tune of $61 BILLION by the US taxpeyer through the Fed

    And no bonuses repaid despite being saved by the Fed

    And they are surprised they are hated by the electorate ?! (and being sued by the US Government !)

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Like Hague and Fox she is another one without kids, hope she hasn’t got a friend as well.

  32. 32
    Math Genius says:

    P.s. Billy this is a great blog you are running, topical, interesting and responding to all your readers! Well done and carry on Conspiring Sir!

  33. 33
    Throg_lodge says:

    Another case of “Don’t ask, don’t tell”

  34. 34
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Just where does Mandleson get his money from?
    What about labour’s Jim Murphy’s oversea trips. Who paid?
    What about donations to the labour party from the comany that started stirring it up for Fox.
    Why are all the comments so biased against Fox. Are the comments from BBC/Guardian supporters.

  35. 35
    Placement to the left of me Careerists to the right says:

    The Met Chief has stated under examination from Vaz that the Met made a mistake to go after the Guardian . No they fucking didnt there was reasonable suspicion that the Guardian were getting info from Police sources in circumstances which were criminal. FFS it’s clear that there is a cover up going on, what a sack of shit Govern us.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    A child abuser who was jailed in January for four years for her role in a national paedophile ring was released yesterday, it has been claimed.
    Tracy Lyons, 41, admitted sexually abusing a two-year-old boy and sending the video to a man she met online.
    The mother-of-nine was released from HMP Bronzefield in Surrey just ten months after her sentence was handed down, the Sun reported.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2047759/Child-abuser-Tracey-Lyons-jailed-years-January-released.html#ixzz1aTkPJfco

  37. 37
    Commander of HMS Conqueror says:

    Tell me about it.

  38. 38
    yeah, right.. says:

    Does this mean Shami Chakrabarti for Home Secretary?

  39. 39
    Hang The Bastards says:

    He fooled me to. I will never forgive the scheming lying backstabbing traitor.

    He is certainly not the Conservative Party, and the Party needs to wake up & see the Liberal Euro loving twat for what he really is.

  40. 40
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    But going down on who?

  41. 41
    Rome Burns says:

    In other news the EU is pressurising Slovak parliament to do an immediate rerun of today’s vote that will almost certainly torpedo expansion of the EFSF. This will get nasty.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    So you’ve read Mininstry of Defeat, too.

  43. 43
    Basil Brush says:

    On the Adam Boulton show they were discussing Foxy and werritity. They reckon foxy’s mate are briefing against his EX friend and calling him a Walter Mitty Character.

    They also reckon Fox blames camp Cameron for putting it about that Foxy is a gayer during the Tory leadership battle.

  44. 44
  45. 45
    AC1 says:

    I’m surprised anyone was “fooled” by heir to Blair “Dave”…

    I thought it was obvious, just like Blair was.

  46. 46
    I'll have some of that..... says:

    Right – check out Ledwidge “Losing Small Wars”……

  47. 47
    Desperate Dan says:

    Because Fox always looks pompous and self-important. Because Fox tried to damage the coalition by leaking to the press. Because Fox takes his much younger friend to work with him and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Because Fox announced, at the age of 43, that he was getting married – just in time for his announcement that he intended to stand for leader. Because Fox always looks awkward and socially inept. Because Fox has such a skewed and unrealistic opinion of himself that he seriously thinks he is Prime Ministerial material.

  48. 48
    Sophie says:

    David Davis should be tearing Cameron & his Socialist Democratic Government to shreds from the backbenchers, not looking for a ticket on the gravy train.

    The term “right wing” cannot possibly apply to anyone associated with rusty Camerons cabal of Heathite crooks.

  49. 49
    Sungei Patani says:

    He served in the TA squadron of the SAS.

  50. 50
    my prick up your arse says:

    who’d want to fuck that ugly bitch?

  51. 51
    Ivor Biggun says:

    It’s not going to David Davis – such an arrogant self-obsessed man, even by the low standards of politicians. Also not a safe pair of hands for such a crucial ministry, given his pointless “look at me” by-election posturing.

  52. 52
    Jock Flawed DNA says:

    Bloody hell Dan. You have just described Gordon as well. There must be something in the Scotch water that produces such people.

  53. 53
  54. 54
    Tony Bliar is a complete cunt says:

    Yeah should have seen it, but my hatered for Brown clouded my judgement….

  55. 55
    Desperate Dan says:

    The Guardian is above the Law. The police can leak any old tosh to The Guardian safe in the knowledge that it will be published without question and amplified by the BBC. The Guardian, unlike other newspapers, is perfectly free to tap phones and employ private detectives because the Guardian tap phones “in the public interest” – as defined by The Guardian. Guardian journalists are paid by dodgy educational establishments lecture students on how to tap phones without fear of prosecution – just say “I work for the Guardian”. Guardian journalists like to put other newspapers out of business and put other journalists on the dole if, unlike The Guardian, they do not break the Law “in the public interest”.

  56. 56
    I don't need no doctor says:

    And your answer to the other questions?

  57. 57
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Some publication that.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Compared to the one Osborne was having kinky sex Ms May is a beauty. So its possible.

  59. 59
    Cat says:

    What beliefs?

  60. 60
    Cat says:

    Extremely well put!

  61. 61
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Yeah. Shame they don’t have enough time to contribute on here.

  62. 62
    Desperate Dan says:

    Anyone answering the other questions would be modded from here to kingdom come.

  63. 63
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Ed Balls and Jack Dromey – they seem to have low standards. Richard Timney as well

  64. 64
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Has to have more than Geoff Hoon and Des Browne.

  65. 65
    Desperate Dan says:

    As a man on the radio said this morning, why should Czechs – who work till they’re 65 then get 300 Euros a month pension – pay any money to the Greeks who retire at 45 and get 12,000 Euros a month pension. Any fool can see its not fair.

  66. 66
    anon says:

    according to the Telegraph Liam Fox has spent on Adam Werritty’s bill for trips may be up to £85,000


  67. 67
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    No he’ll be back on Page 3 in no time.

  68. 68
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Old Holborn
    @Old_Holborn Old Holborn
    I have reported Chuka Umunna MP to the UK Border Agency. Just in case.
    2 minutes ago via web Favorite Undo Retweet Reply

  69. 69
    Dave and Angela Dawes of Cambridgeshire need their heads examining says:

    Fancy being so fucking rich that the odd million quid seems like loose change down the back of the sofa.

  70. 70
    annette curton says:

    The Http link said it all, or nothing.

  71. 71
    Holborn Viaduct says:

    lol – OH is on the case. Expectations plummet shock horror.

  72. 72
    Holborn Viaduct says:


  73. 73
    The Golem says:

    Just like being bullied by the Russians all over again. Ah! the nostalgia.

  74. 74
    annette curton says:

    Their bills for flights, hotel accommodation and candle-lit dinners combined could top £100,000 which would put Fox in the same league as Jacqui Smith, ergo no case to answer.

  75. 75

    His last full day as minister is today.


  76. 76
    I don't need no doctor says:

    O.k. DD back to the pies, but watch out if Tom Watson’s sees you.

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    Whole thing happened under Cameron’s watch, why did he allow this to happen?

  78. 78
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Did Larry tip you off? Miaow.

  79. 79
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    That sounds about right, Barker is an identikit politician who could be in any part of the LabLibCon and you would be severely tested as to which part of the matrix from hell he belonged to, unless he mentioned it himself.

  80. 80
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Is that the bush telegraph?

  81. 81
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Me too. There would be a bowl of fruit on the table even though no one was ill!

  82. 82
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    But who the fuck else could we have voted for to realistically get rid of the mad cyclops? It was the lesser of two evils.

  83. 83
    Politics for cretins says:

    Where is David Davis on the spectrum of gayness?

  84. 84
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Wasn’t Jacqui Smith a virgin…….subscriber once.

  85. 85
    Infuriated of West Mids says:


  86. 86
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Only likes the rough stuff, but willing to widen the circle of his friends. He did ask after you.

  87. 87
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Easy Sophie, I don’t think Cameron is too keen on the Democratic Government bit.
    He like McBust and Bliar, takes his orders from elsewhere and ‘administers’ them on behalf of the Kommissars, whilst gurning for the cameras and using his serious face when explaining ‘how very important’ the orders are.

  88. 88
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    An unblackmailable heterosexual in Cameron’s cabinet? Don’t be ridiculous.

  89. 89
    Carl Sagan, astronaut says:

    Apparently, he defies gravity and hangs slightly to the right.

  90. 90
    annette curton says:

    Its a complete reversal of: Beware of Greeks bearing gifts!, Stavros is out on the cadge again.

  91. 91
    Dobby says:

    Is Liam “holed” below the waterline then?

  92. 92
    Takis Alottomoni says:

    Many of us retire early at 35 with no reduction in pension. Yassou!

  93. 93
    David Laws says:

    Don’t forget me. I’d love a job.

  94. 94
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    I’ll see your Hoon and Browne and raise you a Hutton and Ainsworth.

  95. 95
    ex-Tory says:

    Cameron won’t want any working-class peasants in the cabinet Davis has lived in the real World, worked his way up from the bottom and worked in industry. That disqualifies him from holding office

  96. 96
    Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

    Our sources of news are as reliable as our sources of our funding.

  97. 97
    Desperate Dan says:

    According to some research published today (by me) middle income earners will be very scared about my predictions and will all vote for Ed at the next election.

  98. 98
    AC1 says:

    Did you not notice “Social” at the front of Democracy.

    Social reverses the meaning of the next word. i.e. “social justice” Punishing people for working, to reward people for sloth.

  99. 99
    annette curton says:

    She probably still is, Richard prefers a DVD and a wank.

  100. 100
    Dud says:

    Did I hear right yestrday – Banks part owned by us, charging some poorer customers for using hole in the wall machines? Are they mad? Don’t they know they are on a knife edge of being disbanded – investment staff sent as far away as they want “practice” their dark arts.

  101. 101
    AC1 says:

    A bit of a silly list. The main problem was simply this. Too much credit, yet Governments wanted more credit as it’s makes people feel richer even while income taxation is sapping the economy.

  102. 102
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Nicely put.

  103. 103
    AC1 says:

    What? Those “hole in the wall”/Auto-Teller machines are given away free and cost nothing to run?

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    Since when did fair play apply to Fox-hunting.

    All those dogs and only one fox.

  105. 105
    oddly pedantic says:

    Quite. Interesting how the Slovaks have remembered that experience and drawn strength from it. Sad that Malta could not resurrect the courage which won it the G.C.

  106. 106
    Jimmy says:

    “The last thing that busy civil servants need and busy uniformed staff inside the Ministry of Defence is this sort of distraction with their boss.”

    Never any distractions with Mercer of course.

  107. 107
    Mr Unscrupolopolus says:

    Not to mention claiming pensions for our dead relatives.

  108. 108
    AN says:

    I don’t think Mercer or DD would have a look in. What about Nicholas Soames? Any thoughts…without the wardrobe/Churchill jokes!

  109. 109
    The great, late Alan Clark says:

    There are no friends in politics – only sharks smelling for blood.

  110. 110
    Ruff trade says:

    Hand or blow?

  111. 111
    Captain cock says:

    Correct me if I am wrong, but didn’t he have a panic alarm installed in his office as well as locking his office door because he was fearful of his ex lover coming after him?!

    A man who is scared of getting bitch slapped has no place in the MoD.

  112. 112
    yeah, right.. says:

    Oh yeah, silly me……..

  113. 113
    Jimmy says:

    He went whinging to the papers about how his ex mistress had duffed him up. You’d think he might be less eager to throw stones.

  114. 114
    Field Marshall Cradle-Balls says:

    I’ve sent a communique to the MOD disassociating Her Majesty’s forces from that reckless sodomite forthwith.

    A replacement will need to be appointed urgently, though this time I insist that any aspirant undergoes a series of intimate tests.

    I have alerted my batman.

  115. 115
    Smokin' Butt says:

    I only wish. Guy’s got a real problem, must sit at home hitting refresh every 30 seconds all day long.

    I know the posters around here are hardly high-brow, but billy makes us look like fucking Dostoyevsky.

  116. 116
    Captain cock says:

    Yes, you would. Maybe it was a way of getting sympathy from the wife…but as an ex army man, he really did do himself over.

  117. 117
    Jimmy says:

    True. There are men in public life who would pay good money for that treatment.

  118. 118
    Madasafish says:

    Nothing wrong withn DD that another resignation will not cure..

    He amkes Wayne Rooney appear balanced.

  119. 119
    Bring Back Communism says:

    Our sources of news are The Guardian, Independent, NYT, FT, and the Mirror; but if it fits our agenda we will use more right wing news sources but only in a derisory and calculated manner.

  120. 120
    Handycock, Minister of Defence in waiting says:

    It is quite clear that should Liam resign, I am the best candidate to replace him. There would be no security leaks under my leadership, because I have already asked all the questions the Russians wanted, and provided the information. I could also save much needed money by replacing current troops from the UK with cheaper recruits from Eastern Europe. Finally should there be any tension between NATO and the former Soviet Block, I would be best placed to negotiate a settlement in Russia’s favour. I was also the Liberal Democrat shadow Minister of Defence under Paddy Asdown until Charles Kennedy sacked me. All in all by far the best candidate.

  121. 121
    Vladimir Putin says:

    I’m backing you for the appointment Handy.

  122. 122
    I Hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

    Cabinet. Have to. Beliefs.

Seen Elsewhere

Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Tory MEP Promised Bashir Investigation | Scrapbook
Stop May Pact | Times

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George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

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