October 3rd, 2011

More Speeding Fingers Being Pointed at Huhne

Guido hears that the idea to raise the motorway speed limit was set to be the flagship moment of Transport Secretary Phillip Hammond’s conference speech later today. So there was some anger and confusion when it leaked late on Friday afternoon. Hammond was rushed to Millbank to push the policy…

All big conference announcements would have been cleared with the two coalition parties, so fingers are being pointed across party lines for a leaky culprit. Ironically the most vocal critic of the idea has been Chris Huhne. A growing number of Tories suspect it was he who spoiled the big announcement. Making friends as ever…


178 Comments

  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Soon i hope!

    Like

    • 5
      BillyBob... says:

      Lock the f*cker up !!

      Like

      • 55
        Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys says:

        Guido: “…when it leaked late on Friday afternoon…”

        So all that discussion on Thursday, including a big chunk of Question Time, was just Dame David Dimblebore being prescient then?

        Like

        • 71
          Jonathan Dewugly MP says:

          Have you had a terrble nightmare? Your country been sold down the river? Your birthright stolen? Your government occupied by alien cock-worshippers? Then you can’t make a claim! Fuck off and die goy!

          Like

      • 163
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        I’ve said it time and time again.

        Nobody, but nobody, is going to nail this fucker. Not Guido or the CPS or anyone else.

        He is a favoured son. He’s untouchable. Just watch and see.

        Like

        • 164
          David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

          How does raising the speed limit rest with the green agenda crap we are forced to hear and pay for???? It does not add up. Do these fcking idiots ever think through what they are going to say or introduce as policy??

          Presumably they will scrap and take off the 20% off all our energy bills under government obligation to the climate. Waiting Huhne, waiting.

          Like

    • 8

      Like all Politicians the an ERROR OF JUDGEMENT. Ma Lord. The Uni educated class have taken that one a bit further. Fraudsters who have ruined the economy. They will try to blame the Banks. Well who the Fu– deregulated them EH? Yes some Sh– House Politicians who probably had a good Drink on the back of it.
      Bliar dragging us into a WAR with no end. How much has that cost the economy. Or my Fu—ng Pension. Lying Politicians Lying Media with a population of Dunces. Waiting till it all falls to pieces

      Like

      • 9
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Feel better now?

        Like

      • 12

        How much did Osborne Borrow last month to pay the PUBLIC SECTOR PENSIONS AND WAGES.
        Yes 13 BILLION. Thats 13 THOUSAND Million. in a month. Fu– me Greece aren’t even in that much Debt. I hope those Gold Plated pension choke them.

        Like

        • 13
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          Your right, he inherited a golden inheritence when the current goverment came to power.

          Like

        • 76
          More stupid than Pike says:

          Did I really hear that silly boy Osborne say that climate change is a ‘man-made disaster’?

          This fuckwit is Chancellor of the Exchequer for Christ’s sakes.

          When are we going to have serious people in serious jobs in this country

          Like

          • More stupid than Pike says:

            and another point, Britain’s problem is that it fucking well spends too much, not that it borrows too much.

            Like

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            “This fuckwit is Chancellor of the Exchequer for Christ’s sakes.”

            Yes, but he’s not a fuckwit for saying he believes in man-made climate change, he’s a fuckwit because he think’s we’ll agree with him.

            You have to laugh. 13 years of Labour idiocy and it’s replaced by.. something worse. What were the chances of that, eh?

            Ho hum. At least it’s nice and sunny.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            We have to try to understand God. I think God made Osborne Chancellor, there isn’t any other way a person like Osborne could have ended up running this country’s economy.

            Like

          • Archer Karcher says:

            Osborne does not believe that climate change is a ‘man made disaster’. He does however believe that gullible taxpayers will allow him to tax them even harder than at present with climate change as an excuse.
            To peddle the shite, unscientific, anthropogenic climate change hysteria, Osborne needs to perpetuate the ever bigger lie, in order to justify ever greater taxation. He like his boss, is a bandwagon rider, filling his pockets with looted cash and to hell with the consequences.

            Like

          • MI6 says:

            Yes. Like Nazi Tessa and Cameroon when they told us that this is the biggest “”PEACE TIME DEFICIT”” What the fu– do they think those Body Bags are. Its a disgrace to the Lads Memories that are fighting for the C–ts

            Like

      • 15
        AC1 says:

        They didn’t de-regulate banks (regulation was hugely increased thanks to the clueless FSA), they de-regulated/removed the credit market reserves requirement and thus credit/debit pairs spiralled exponentially, pushing down yields/interest rates until default was inevitable.

        Like

    • 11
      Anonymous says:

      Osborne’s big speech was about Council Tax. Nothing about employment, deficit reduction, growth and banking crisis. He has failed on all these major issues. This government is a joke.

      Like

      • 14
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Was?

        Has he finished his speech already? or even started?

        Like

      • 17

        He like all the previous Knackers who are running this country have lost the Plot. How much are the WARS COSTING? The dont say cost a BOMB for nothing and we have had 10 fu—ng year of it. Why dont they build some more windmills that need an ongoing 80% subsidy from Private Business and the People. What happens when the man in the Street is Skint and the Businesses are all closed? I suppose we will see very Soon.

        Like

        • 46
          AC1 says:

          WW2 was also expensive.

          Like

        • 140
          To be born white & English is to have won first prize in the lottery of life! says:

          What’s with all these unnecessary capital letters in Post 17?
          Are you German?

          Like

          • MI6 says:

            Well probably German DECENT. I have the Blue Eyes and Blond Hair. Which will come in Handy when Tessa musters the old Gas Chambers back into action. The Caps are part of the Shit education that my Parents couldn’t afford as they toiled paying to much TAX to keep the Political Lying Cheating Elite in the Manner with which they had become accustomed.

            Like

      • 18
        AC1 says:

        He raised the worst economic tax and lowered the least.

        Helpful for rental yields, shite for the rest of the country.

        Like

    • 25
      AC1 says:

      EDL March banned

      Islamist Loons hold Hold Memorial Prayers for Anwar Al-Awlaki ALLOWED.

      Met Police and Home Office. Unfit for Purpose.

      Like

    • 35
      If Huhne says it's wrong then it must be right. says:

      Must admit I did not support the raising of the limit. Not because of the actual speed but because of the greater speed differential between motorway users and it most likely leading to even more tail gating.

      But if the Huhne is agin it, then I am all for it.

      Like

      • 40
        AC1 says:

        How about banning people from having a motorway driving license who cannot use the inside lane, when it’s empty?

        Like

        • 48
          Basher Bates says:

          I like it. a motorway driving licence is a good idea.

          Like

        • 67
          Call me Infidel says:

          If only.

          Like

        • 79
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          No problem for me, I never drive at 2am.

          Like

        • 93
          Tessa Tickles says:

          Have you noticed the Middle Lane Owners’ Club has been on a recruitment drive for new members? I went down the M11 – Huhne’s favourite racetrack – yesterday, and I got from the Stanstead junction to the M25 in the inside lane, and I pretty much had the whole lane to myself. Lane 2, infested with Sunday drivers, was trundling along at 60-65mph.

          Almost the same story with the M23 southbound, apart from the roadworks.

          Like

      • 68
        Sir Willliam Waad says:

        If everybody drove twice as fast as they do, they would get there in half the time. Therefore, at any given time, there would be half as many vehicles on the road. Therefore there would be one-quarter as many collisions.

        Discuss.

        Like

        • 74
          bored at work (again) says:

          In a year or two we’ll all be so financially destitute we’ll be unable to afford luxuries like motor-cars. Huge reduction in congestion and CO2 emissions! – I’m starting to think this government have got it all nailed down!

          Like

        • 82
          Airey Belvoir says:

          And, if you drive faster, you are more likely to get home before the crash.

          Like

      • 172
        Nemo says:

        It is not the actual motorway that is the problem it is at the various turnoffs which tend to back up, also it is the drivers who don’t seem to drive in the correct line or crawling along for no real reason.

        Like

    • 78
      Anonymous says:

      Not long now

      Like

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dave and Nick would be better off letting Hunt leave for “Family reasons” he just a embrassment anda liabilty.

    And that is without mentioning policy.

    Like

    • 30
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      It would seem that a goodly number of the Dim Lumps are already in Opposition. Clegg’s biggest failure has been his inability to impose Cabinet responsibility.

      Like

      • 37
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Come on, The Lib Dems never expected to be in government, Thats why all the scandals were never picked up, as soon as they were in power then they dig up all the dirt on the lib dems (Laws/handycock/Hunt).

        Like

        • 174
          Nemo says:

          That’s true Bill in the present cons there must be plenty of scandles in one form or another in the Tories, Guido has dug up a few but they are probably tip of the iceberg, it was the scandles that did for John Major-Ball’s government .

          Like

    • 62
      Car ina Spinagin says:

      He’s split up from his family !!!!!

      Like

      • 66
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Then it is a “Family reason” :-)

        Like

      • 175
        Nemo says:

        That seems to be the usual form in politics and royal family, still I suppose it is better than living a lie how many on this site haven’t played away judging by the rising divorce rate not many.

        Like

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden's Bum Boy says:

    Cock.

    Like

  4. 4
    Not surprised says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….why is this man not in jail?

    Like

    • 69
      Jack Dromey (Ms) says:

      Answer: because he is above the law.

      Like

    • 161
      Handycock, No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

      You might say that about me too. The answer has appeared many times on these pages – we are both members of the Lodge, it protects us and will continue to. On another point I have put my name forward to replace Chris in the Cabinet, in the unlikely event that he is forced to resign by the ruthless media. The only proviso that I have put on my candidature is that, should I join the cabinet, I will have to increase my visits to Eastern Europe to see how they are dealing with climate change.

      Like

  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Better to make it 100.

    Like

  6. 7
    Lenin says:

    Jeffrey Archer went to jail for perjury… need I say more?

    Like

  7. 10
    Sophie says:

    Well done Jeremy Clarkson.

    Someone from the Chipping Norton set talking sense to the idiot Cameron makes a refreshing change.

    Like

  8. 16

    CPS to announce Chris Huhne no further action on Wednesday, if you have not had the phone you better start making them.

    Like

  9. 19
    Jasmin Alibi Cunt says:

    Cu’nt Hunt

    Like

  10. 20
    Penfold says:

    Well, well, the speeder is the leaker.
    Let’s hope the little fokker gets his comeuppance courtesy of the CPS and Essex Police.
    Huhne is a rather odious and loathesome individual.
    Wonder how he’s getting on with Carina these days?.

    Like

  11. 22
    BBC Public Affairs says:

    Raising the speed limit sounds very right wing.

    Like

  12. 28

    Over the last week there has been much criticism of our client, former Prime Minister, Gordon Brown.

    It has been reported that he refused to attend the Labour party conference where his economic record was being apologised for by the entire Labour party, including his old chums and treasury appointees Edward Balls and Edward Miliband. It was felt, that by some delegates, that Mr Brown should have attended conference to answer some of the allegations about his incompetence, intransigence, imprudence and general bonkersness.

    It was also noted that Mr Brown, who continues to draw a £65,000 salary, but does not attend parliament, is avoiding facing those many people who claim that he bankrupted the country with his ‘spend and spend and spend some more’ policies on the economy.

    Our client has come forward today to make a statement in which he assures the public that he is not frightened of his critics. He is not too cowardly to defend his record.
    He simply has no time at the present as he is very busy writing another book about ‘Courage.’

    That should settle the matter.

    Quango-Carthorse-Sixpence-Suck

    Like

    • 170
      The Other Bloke says:

      Please note that in addition to his MP’s salary, Mr Gordon Brown receives a Prime Ministerial pension equivalent to 50% of his PMs salary and a Public Duty Allowance or £90,000 per year, plus he retains a government car and driver and protection officers.
      So he is actually pulling in £210,000 p.a. plus MPs expenses not to appear in Parliament.

      Like

  13. 29
    gildedtumbril says:

    Mrs. or ex Mrs. huhne needs only tell plod that he forced her to lie by indicating he could have her grievously mischiefed and she will not be charged with perjury etc.. Who would believe an mp’s testimony? M’lud, or especially a minister’s testimony?

    Like

  14. 33
    East India Company wallah says:

    This sh##house is fast becoming the most untrustworthy person on this overcrowded island and that is in the face of olympian class competition-He makes Mandelson look a paragon of virtue and would be outstanding in his field if it were not for the Cable gobshite running him a close second-hopefully the electorate reward them!

    Like

  15. 38
    Simples says:

    If we can go faster down the motorway, then there’s no need for Dave’s vanity High speed train set.

    Like

    • 50
      misterned says:

      The vanity high-speed train set is to encourage people to let the train take the strain instead of the plane. It is a greenie environmental sop to offer a fast alternative to internal domestic flights. It ties in with scrapping Runway 5 at Heathrow. Make the peasants sit on trains and restrict flying to the elitist climate campaigners.

      Like

    • 96
      Tessa Tickles says:

      Good point. But the two are linked. More speed = more fuel consumption = more fuel tax revenue to build Camoron’s high-speed fiasco across the bits of the countryside not already ruined. Camoron just lurves ruining the countryside.

      But there’s more.. more fuel usage = increased demand for fuel (duh!) = higher fuel prices = higher fuel revenues. Money that Camoron can p!ss away on India’s space programme and other such related happy-clappy idiocy, to “make us proud”.

      Plus inflation right across the board. Being a millionaire, he doesn’t give a shit about that bit.

      Like

      • 162
        Marmite says:

        Tessa & Co. Please take your bile and ridiculous opinions and shove them up your cruddy ar*ses.
        We have had thirteen f*cking years of Lieber dragging this country through the shite and you moaning barstewards think that seventeen months into a coalition government is all that is needed to get this country out of the sewer Leiber dragged us down.
        I honestly think that Tess & co. just love spouting off about anything – stup*d tw*ts.

        Like

  16. 43
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    Economic advisor to Gordon Brown, I’m not sure i’d want that on my CV if I was Ed Balls. – George Osborne

    LOL surely quote of the day Guido.

    Like

  17. 45
    Rangid Sarwar says:

    I likes to travel at 50 to 60 some days because it is relaxing and saves gallons of fuel and money. Other days I likes to do 80 so i don’t have to play with the trucks.

    But whatever mode I am in there is always some twat who comes along and drives right up my arse and is too lazy to indicate right and move into an overtaking lane.

    It’s now time to get learners who have just passed their test to do motorway training when they bring in this new limit..

    Like

  18. 58
    Clarke K. says:

    They don’t call him Huhne for nothing!

    Like

  19. 59
    Ha hah! says:

    O/T Osborne appears to have scrapped the climate change bill.

    Hooray!

    Like

  20. 60
    RayG says:

    This was on Richard North’s EUReferendum blogspot on 24 September http://eureferendum.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html.

    It’s taken MSM time to wake up to this or waited to cause maximum embarrassment.

    Like

  21. 61
    Sir Willliam Waad says:

    When I applied for a driving licence, the form said “Tear along the dotted line” and I have been happily doing so ever since.

    Like

    • 86

      I liked the newspaper report about an American gentleman who had stopped driving at the age of 104 years. When asked why, he replied, “Because they all drive too slowly nowadays.”

      Like

    • 89

      І lіkеd thе nеwspаpеr rеpоrt аbоυt аn Аmеrіcаn gеntlеmаn whо hаd stоppеd drіvіng аt thе аgе оf 104 yеаrs. Whеn аskеd why, hе rеplіеd, “Bеcаυsе thеy аll drіvе tоо slоwly nоwаdаys.”

      Like

  22. 64
    Er! Hi Amanrath says:

    Good! the speed limit does need to raised so that slow coach men cannot hold me back.

    Like

  23. 73
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The government can find money to give to other countries and for all these wars we help out in
    Its time we looked after our own country first
    Absolute disgrace

    I’m voting UKIP next time

    Like

  24. 75
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( member in absentia ) says:

    I am moved that the Chancellor of the Exchequer mentioned me in his Conference Speech today, paying tribute to my enormous contribution to the largest government deficit since the end of World War II.

    It wasn’t easy being a total disaster even with all the help from Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer and my son, Red Ed.

    Like

    • 90
      Fred Shred and Co. says:

      You certainly saved our bacon.

      So long and thanks for all the cash, peerages, government quango appointments and so on.

      Like

  25. 83
    Mikey Smithson"The cheeky chappie" says:

    Why is sex like the lottery?
    Because you get the same balls, no chance of a 69 and it always ends in a fuckin roll over!

    Like

  26. 85

    Woman on radio..all cars should only go 50mph. Mine only does 45mph.

    I think that’s the equivalent of phoning in and saying “My name’s Geoff..beat that!”

    Like

    • 95
      Engineer says:

      Try doing 50 down a country lane and you might end up wrapped round a tree. Try doing 50 down a motorway and you’ll cause a tailback.

      It’s not what speed the car will do that’s the critical factor, it’s what the nut behind the steering wheel is doing that’s important.

      Like

      • 103
        it's gone dark oh it's raining again says:

        Interesting thought on that Engineer, our area most of the country lanes were unmarked so assumed to be 60mph you wouldn’t do 40mph too dangerous, now the council has taken over the lanes are marked 50mph, I think it can now be assumed that it’s safe to do 50mph because the council would have made sure of our safety, a shrewed lawyer could do a good tattoo on this for an idiot pulled up for dangerous driving on these lanes, Williston/Hooton.

        Like

        • 117
          It is a truth universally acknowledged...... says:

          I understood that a lot of national speed limits had been reduced by 10 mph by Labour dictat just prior to the election anyway ?That’s why you get the ludcricous situation of 40 mph on urban clearways when there is absolutely no pedestrians anywhere nearby,no built up area and plenty of adequate street lighting(unless your council switches them off at 12 midnight to assist energy conservatiion ?) but then again its similar to GATSOs…the only reason/excuse required for council to erect on at a so-called “accident black-spot” is if there has been a RTA whether its due to speed or not and whether it involved a motor vehicle…it could just involve a pedal cycle hitting a pedestrian…still GATSO s are nice little earners for some councils

          Like

        • 159
          Sir William Waad says:

          This is how it works, on a given strecth of road:

          2005: no accidents
          2006: no accidents
          2007: no accidents
          2008: no accidents
          2009: no accidents
          2010: 1 accident
          Speed camera installed
          2011: no accidents

          Conclusion: the speed camera reduced accidents by 100%.

          Like

    • 100
      Trotskyist cocaine abuser on BBC News says:

      I think a 30mph limit would be far safer, think of all the children’s lives we’d save and extra speeding fines going in to the government coffers to stop all these evil Tory cuts.

      Like

      • 169
        oddly belligerent says:

        If this weren’t the template for 5Lies’ reporting, this would be edgy and satirical.

        Like

  27. 92
    it's gone dark oh it's raining again says:

    Just turne on to sat 504 ,IDS is supposed to be speaking, it’s like that episode in Father Ted in the nicker shop

    Like

  28. 97
    Johnny says says:

    “the big announcement.”

    It was suggested months ago and has resurfaced.

    Like

  29. 99

    Huhne really is one of the most objectionable specimens about. I rather fancy the idea of a lump of 2×2 applied vigorously to his head…or anywhere else for that matter.

    Like

    • 104
      Tessa Tickles says:

      I can’t picture a lump of 2×2, it sounds a bit flimsy – how about a baseball bat instead?

      Or bury him up to his waist in Parliament Sq, perhaps with Vince Cable buried next to him, and invite people to throw bricks at them.

      Like

      • 108
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        a baseball bat just isnt cricket :-)

        Like

        • 112
          Tessa Tickles says:

          Surely a cricket bat would be a bit unwieldy when it comes to bludgeoning someone to death? The baseball bat, however, was practically designed for that purpose.

          Like

    • 147
      Anon E Mouse says:

      Surley a 4×4 would be better ?

      Like

  30. 101
    Jimmy says:

    Vote Labour!

    Like

  31. 102
    Miliband Brothers Banana Split says:

    It takes two to tango.

    Like

  32. 105
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fuck it, Hang him, we can have the trail later

    Like

    • 110
      Tessa Tickles says:

      I know you’re against the death penalty, Billy, but surely you can see the sense in making membership of the LimpDims a capital offence?

      It’s not cruel. I think it’s actually quite humane. We put mad animals out of their misery, why not mad people, too?

      Like

      • 111
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Instead of Lib dems how about socialists/marxists/nazis ? :-)

        Like

        • 114
          Tessa Tickles says:

          There’s a difference?

          Like

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Just trying to cover all groups, ya know, close the loopholes :-)

            Like

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            Fair enough. LibDems certainly covers a whole collection of political idiocy – socialist, Marxist, Maoist, Nazi, Fascist. I can’t see why Labour bothers to exist, when the LibDems do left-wing stupidity so much better.

            So what we really need is to merge Labour, the Party of the Parasite, with the LibDems, the Party of the mentally unhinged, and appoint Cameron, the worst pro-EU cretin in Parliament, as LibDem leader, and voila! A bigger, better LimpDim party, shining brighter than it has ever done before.

            And then they can all be executed.

            Like

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Sod it, get the gunpowder in.

            Otherwise we are doomed!

            Like

        • 120
          it's gone dark oh it's raining again says:

          They think the same about all the righties, we seem to be getting a bit closer to a civil war with all this hate going on.

          Like

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Nah, I call it “de-stressing”, as TT points out , i am against the death pen full stop (even get called alabour troll).

            Like

          • Tessa Tickles says:

            “They think the same about all the righties”

            What “righties”? In Parliament? There aren’t any. That’s the problem.

            A bunch of left-wing cretins lead by Camoron, a bunch of left-wing cretins lead by Clegg, or a bunch of left-wing cretins lead by the unions, via their gormless puppet Milimong? That’s not a choice. It’s a stitch-up.

            Like

  33. 116
    Nemo says:

    I thought that Speedi Huhne would be all for it the he would do 90 or even 100 mph

    Like

    • 124
      Tessa Tickles says:

      I would have thought that Huhne, as an ecomentalist, would travel everywhere on a 2nd-hand bicycle. Just to show how right-on he is.

      At the very least, he should travel by bus, enjoying a sing-a-long with his fellow passengers as he marvels at the joys on public transport.

      But for some curious reason he loves to selfishly tear around “like a maniac” (according to his ex-ish wife) in his own car. Whilst telling us, the grotty public who merely pay his wages and will ultimately fund his eye-watering pension, that we should all be travelling on bicycles.

      Like

    • 131
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      He is a socialist (whoops Lib Dem). Surely you realise that petty rules do not apply to them!

      Like

  34. 118
    Stinkfinger says:

    Speed limits used to be set on the 85% percentage rule.
    In other words they would study the average speed 85% of people were driving at.
    Now speed limits are set because of the demands of local curtain twitchers whose perception is that people are driving too fast down their street.
    Check out your local paper for speed limit notifications and you will often find the basis of the proposed new limit is based on no accident stats,history or fuck all.
    The limits are the problem.They are set too fucking low and the C*nts who run the speed Cameras take advantage of it.

    Like

    • 130
      Tessa Tickles says:

      “They are set too fucking low”

      Very true. There’s a section of roadworks on the M25 north of the Dartford crossing at the moment, 50mph average speed limit check, and yet yesterday, with no roadwork actually happening, it was for all intents and purposes a normal 3-lane motorway. Everyone had edged-up to 55mph (going by the satnav) out of sheer desperation. Maybe we all got caught, I don’t know, but there was no sane reason why the limit couldn’t have been set at 60.

      Like

      • 148
        Anon E Mouse says:

        Be careful Tessa, many years ago I got caught on the M6; roadworks had just finished, cones had been cleared but they’d left the cameras on. B******* even refused my guilty plea and got me to attend court.

        Like

  35. 126
    Raving Loon says:

    Does anyone find it a bit depressing that a “flag ship” policy is the raising of the speed limit? Isn’t that about as important as Ben & Jerry’s releasing a new flavour?

    Like

    • 129
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Dunno, some people will like the weekly bin collection and the council tax freeze (labour never done it), speed limit? i always done over 70 anyway.

      Like

      • 132
        Tessa Tickles says:

        If I do 55-60, behind a truck (so as not to cause congestion), my car does 59mpg, whereas at 75-80 I only get 49-51mpg, therefore, I tend towards the lower range.

        What I want as a flagship policy is “no more wasting £13.3bn every year on EU membership”, or “no more wasting £11bn every year in foreign aid”, or even “a complete halt to all immigration”, or a cancelling of Camoron’s changes to planning regulations. Or maybe a cut in VAT.

        I bet we get thrown a a cut in VAT, which is why I’m holding off buying a rather nice (but very expensive) digital camera. The VAT rise was a mistake, even a moron like Osborne should be able to see that, as every penny of it was wasted in foreign aid, and when George corrects his mistake, that camera will be cheaper. So I shall wait.

        Like

        • 134
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          I reckon GOs manifesto budget thingy.

          reinstatement of the 10% tax ( and raise thresehold)

          Vat back down to 17.5%

          And a promise of EU referendum (tho, is a debate in the commons b4 christmas, non binding but if enough support, maybe 1 u-turn the country will welcome?)

          Like

        • 136
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          I’m surprised, at your fuel consumption figures, I get a bigger difference than that.

          I’m sure the people of china will be pleased when you buy the camera.

          Like

        • 139
          Raving Loon says:

          I’d add abolish income tax for bottom 50% of earners. The loss of government revenue would be around £17.5bn, easily found by not paying any foreign aid or the EU anything, and pulling our troops out of the desert.

          Like

  36. 128
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Old Holborn
    Old_Holborn Old Holborn
    Old Holborn: No wonder it’s so fucking dangerous out there after dark. http://bit.ly/qcVCBg #cpc11
    4 minutes ago

    Good piece as normal by OH.

    Like

  37. 133
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    skysarahjane Sarah-Jane Mee
    What kind of IDIOT runs out of petrol!!!……..oh ummm that would be me.
    56 seconds ago

    Someone save this damsal in distress…..

    Like

  38. 137
    Ed Miliband says:

    “I am in favour of Bad Business and against Good Business….no, what’s that, Mr Balls? I’m getting confused.” (Clears throat). “I am in favour of Good Business and against Bad Business, there, what do you think of that Mr so-called Cameron? What’s more, this’ll have you laughing on the other side of your face, I can tell Bad Business from Good Business because I have my Magic Wombat Paw which send me Good Thoughts! Watch out Bad Business, Red Ed’s coming to get you!”

    (Waits for applause. Not a sausage.)

    Like

  39. 141
    Politicians are CUNTS says:

    Britain ‘will ride out the storm’, says defiant George Osborne

    what he means is that the rich will ride out the storm

    the rest of the population can go fuck themselves

    Like

  40. 143
    tube_thumper says:

    Guido

    Are you aware that the wrinkle free and demotological ads you carry are also connected to the tooth whitening scam?

    This lot are gansters and when people give their card details for free trials or cheap products they are “automatically” signed up for other sites that charge subscription fees. If one doeant notice the fees they can take the money for ever. If one does and wants to stop it one has to phone a difficult to reach outback tel number to do so.

    Beware these type of scams.

    Like

  41. 144
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Hunt tune!

    Like

  42. 145
    tube_thumper says:

    huhne is a total wierdo. He left his bag faced wife for a bag faced rugmuncher

    Like

  43. 146
    Knoxious says:

    Amanda Knox is an evil c unt and I hope she rots in prison.

    Like

  44. 152
    Mikey Smithson"The cheeky chappie" says:

    I was waiting to get served in the supermarket today, and a women caught me sniffing my fingers after I scratched my balls.

    “How rude,” she said.

    “Sorry that’s disrespectful of me,” I replied, then offered her a whiff.

    Like

  45. 160
    Drum says:

    Good one from Hammond. A colleague asked if I could apply new 80 mph limit retrospectively.

    Like

  46. 165
    Ofgem Scam Fine Taxes says:

    For most, the increase to 80mph would be good, but for psychopaths like Huhne, not so good! Not safe at any speed!

    Like

  47. 166
    Einstein's budgie says:

    I read that Huhne wanted the limit raised in line with changes to the speed of light.

    Like


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