October 2nd, 2011

Scotland’s Top Tory Spinner in a Spot of Bother
Tension Added to Tomorrow’s Leadership Face Off

Another Sunday and another hit on “Dave’s candidate” for the Scottish Conservative Party leadership – Ruth Davidson. The Herald team report:

“The Conservatives’ top spin doctor in Scotland is under intense pressure over claims he has been advising a candidate in the party’s leadership election. Ramsay Jones, who as head of media has to be neutral in the contest, recently attended a meeting at Ruth Davidson’s home with her campaign strategists.”

The controversy focuses around a meeting on Sunday September 18 at the Cameroon former BBC journo’s Glasgow home. Jones, a party official paid for on short money, did a 150 mile round trip to attend. Officially, it’s  no comment all round, but Guido has spoken to other Scottish Tory figures who are fuming…

With one candidate ready to start all over again with a new party, and presumably new staff, the phrase “self-preservation society” is being thrown around an awful lot up north. Murdo Fraser’s plans have defined the entire debate to find a new Tory leader, and Davidson immediately became the “stop Murdo” candidate for those looking to save their own jobs. This meeting isn’t the first sign that the Tory establishment is backing Ruth, but it is the proof of the pudding.

While Cameron wants to keep out of this race, the timing of this story couldn’t be worse for him given that the candidates are going to come face to face at a conference hustings tomorrow afternoon in their first high-profile ding-dong. Given the temperature of the briefing going on this weekend it could get very messy…

UPDATE: Tory Party Chairman Baroness Warsi just told the Politics Show that she though Davidson was “fantastic”. There was no such praise for any other candidate. Seems the impartiality of the Party is well and truly out of the window…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Thney would be better of joining the SNP.

    (for the greater good)

  2. 2
    war on thickos says:

    Anybody worked out yet how Billy can have his finger on his dick and the F5 button at the same time?

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe it’s not his finger that’s on the F5 button.

  4. 4
    Steve Miliband says:

    But she’s the best candidate – too late to study navels, need to save Union first then fart about with new logos

  5. 5
    The Paragnostic says:

    There is something to be said for having regionalised non-leftist groupings rather than a monolithic Party – especially in Scotland where a nationalist but non-socialist alternative to the SNP would doubtless appeal to those who have been fed the line since birth that all Töries eat babies.

    That this idea does not appeal to our Pale Blue Blair doesn’t surprise me in the least – Cameron looks and acts like a centraliser and control freak, however much he might try to claim to be a fan of localism.

    I do hope that this doesn’t backfire on him…

  6. 6
    Stinkfinger says:

    A better example of how libLabCon party shit is more important than what is actually best for the people cannot be found.
    Here we have a guy who may revive real Conservatism and possibly do well in Scotland being undermined by cu*nts who think No Votes and no MP’s in Scotland is acceptable because at least those candidates no one votes for are Tory.
    I wish Murdo well and his party becomes a beacon of hope for us poor fuckers down in Englandistan.

  7. 7
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    A good example of how the great and good really fuck things up with schoolyard plotting. Keep it up Guido, lets get these sleaseballs out of politics, whoever they support.

  8. 8
    Sky News says:

    Chicken Licken is wrong.

    We are not falling down.

  9. 9
    Guido's mammy says:

    FFS fatboy, who gives a fuck about blackmailed bender puppets and midget scotchers. What’s Herzliya’s line for you on what’s going down in NYC? Can’t ignore it forever, fatboy, even the feral bedwetters might eventually twig you’re just a scummy payroll shill for the chosen ones.


  10. 10
    Sky News says:

    Pie in the Sky

  11. 11
    Stinkfinger says:

    Kentucky Freud Chicken on the other hand is motherfucking good.

  12. 12
    Popeye says:

    I love impartiality. I really do!

  13. 13
    Norfolk Enchance says:

    TOP STORY !!!! This is what the kids want – a good playground hair-pulling, bitch-slapping fist fight !!!!

  14. 14
    Norfolk Enchance says:

    What would be really funny is if, due to all the confusion ‘north of the border’, the Tories accidentally installed Tom Harris, the ambitious Labour MP, as the Conservative Leader…

    In some ways, he might be an improvement…

  15. 15
    Nemo says:

    If the Tories start bitch fighting Liebore will inch ahead, don’t these guys know their own parties rules, still it cpould get quite entertaining

  16. 16
    Stinkfinger says:

    Blame the bankers but I don’t remember anyone moaning when they THOUGHT they were worth more because of the house price boom.
    Like fucking drug addicts who blame the drug dealers for their demise.
    How about a bit of personal responsibility for this clusterfuck?
    And how about apologising for voting in shit governments whilst being beguiled by property prices?

  17. 17
    AC1 says:

    Tat paid us a visit last night. Visitor numbers must be falling at his mega blog.

  18. 18
  19. 19
    AC1 says:


    The few the proud, the mind numbingly clueless!

    Oh and a comment from anti-stop the cuts PigPen (a spoilt brat who travels the capitalist world on OPM as an Anarchist for High Taxes and a Big state (YES HES THAT THICK)).

  20. 20
    Sky News says:

    The Twitter account of Thailand’s new Prime Minister Yingluck Shinawatra has been hacked and used to post questions about her competence.

  21. 21
    Ah! Monika says:

    Is it you Billy. Starting early

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    since the Scottish Tory media centre is generally recognised as worse than useless any assistance from it is last thing a candidate needs. actually Davidson who was only elected in May and only after the original top of the list was duffed out, was running things in the leader’s office during the 2010 campaign. if she is made leader then it makes Ed Miliband look electable. it would be end of the Tories. all of the present management would be better to leave their success has been to lose loads of votes.

  23. 23
  24. 24
    AC1 says:

    It’s probably the Religion of Peace… They’ve been doing what they do in Thailand (and the media have ignored it) for a while now…

  25. 25
    AC1 says:

    It’s probably the Religion of P34ce… They’ve been doing what they do in Thailand (and the media have ignored it) for a while now…

  26. 26
    grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr says:

    Cameron’s performance on Big Ears show this morning was absolutely pathetic.
    Ed Milliband can be dismissed simply for being an idiot…Cameron on the other hand is a sly deceitful Hunt.
    His stance on Europe should be enough to see a revolution amongst ‘Tories’ who care more for their country than they do their party. That it wont shows their utter cowardice…yes, thats you Redwood, Cash, Carswell etc

  27. 27
    Guido's mammy says:

    AC1, fuck off back to your homeland – Khazaria.

  28. 28
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    See post 14.

  29. 29
    +++ Fagboy in Truthtelling Shocker +++ says:

  30. 30
    grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr says:

    ‘non-binding’…even more of an insult.

  31. 31
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Its a start, then we can lobby the MPs to support a referendum, then name and shame the ones that refused.

  32. 32
    Goodbye Mr Chips says:

    Heard it all now. A scruffy soap dodging teacher marching through the streets of Manchester tells the sky reporter that there are some jobs that can’t be done up to the age of 65 and teaching is one of them.

    This guy is too thick to be a credible teacher, is a bad example to his pupils and an overall selfish bad egg and should be sacked at 0800 in the morning by his head

    What pray is stopping a 64 year old marking the register, dictating notes and marking exams?

  33. 33
    grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr says:

    Cameron and Hague have made their position clear. They have zero intention of allowing any withdrawal from the EU, but know that the vast majority want their say in a vote.
    Quite simply, he isnt fit to be PM. He should go.

  34. 34
    The sword of Truth says:

  35. 35
    Hear Hear says:

    You are dead right there Nigel.

  36. 36
    nell says:

    What’s the point of a scottish tory party?

    The scots will only vote for the party that will pay them the most benefits to stay at home and twiddle their thumbs.

    Give scotland to the scots and let the rest of us get on with working for a living.

  37. 37
    Sad Sarah staring out of the window while Gordon broods says:

  38. 38
    AC1 says:

    People laughing at you and your ilk make you feel sad?

    Ahh there, there ickle boy.

  39. 39
    Harridan Harmanhater says:

    Ruth is a woman so she automatically deserves to win – unless my slave husband, Jacqueline Droney is standing against her.

  40. 40
    AC1 says:

    Education needs an Augean Stables style clean-out..

    Start again from scratch.

  41. 41
    Ah! Monika says:

    Not only your face

  42. 42
    Stinkfinger says:

    Well I know a Political commisar head of year teacher who has had his mouth removed from the taxpayer tit well before 65.
    I found he had been a naughty boy online.

  43. 43
    Ah! Monika says:

    Should have stayed in Kent.

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    She has the backing of wee dave and warsi-how can it possibly go wrong?

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    That’s a bit rough.Imuch prefer CON ARTIST myself.

  46. 46
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Sitting here in the sun, toying with the idea of another BBQ this afternoon (2nd of the weekend), I didn’t think life could get any better.. but the thought of Sarah Beard, firstly tethered to the odious McSnotgobbler, and secondly stuck in p!ssy Scotland whilst the important part of the British Isles is roasting, has really made my day.

    I’ve long wanted the Browns to go to Hell, and for all intents and purposes, they’re already there.

  47. 47
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I once knew a vet who went to KFC, and when the deep-fried corpse was served up in its little cardboard coffin, he confidently identified it as ‘rabbit’.

  48. 48
    eugh says:

    Keep your legs together in this heat please nell.

  49. 49
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Does she do a turn?

  50. 50
    Tessa Tickles says:


    The Telegraph’s lead story at the moment, “Cameron: I don’t want Britain to leave the EU” and “William Hague rules out an in-out referendum.”

    What utter traitorous, mendacious, despicable Huhnes these two are. Heaven forbid the people are allowed to have their say.

    I want Cameron to lose the next election. I want to see him, and his whole Party, crying. Sobbing their eyes out. Because to be beaten, crushed and thrown into a decade of opposition by Milimong has to be the ultimate humiliation. And Cameron thoroughly deserves it.

  51. 51
    0-0 says:

    Cheer up Sarah at least Gordon is not outside your window licking it….Is he?

  52. 52
    Fred the Shred ( knighted by Gordon Brown ) says:

    Gordon Bown’s Mansion House Speech to the City of London, June 2007
    ‘Now today over 40 per cent of the world’s foreign equities are traded here, more than New York:

    over 30 per cent of the world’s currencies exchanges take place here, more than New York and Tokyo combined,
    while New York and Tokyo are reliant mainly on their large American and Asian domestic markets, 80 per cent of our business is international, and
    in a study last week of the top 50 financial cities, the City of London came first.
    So I congratulate you Lord Mayor and the City of London on these remarkable achievements, an era that history will record as the beginning of a new golden age for the City of London.

  53. 53
    Sarah Twatter says:

    He doesn’t lick anything else.

  54. 54
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Absolutely. “Confidence trickster” implies that Cameron can tell lies that people believe.He’s not up to that. Everybody knows Cameron’s a barefaced liar. “Wannabe con-artist” just about sums him up.

  55. 55
    An inglishmans home is his negative equity says:

    Who gives a fuck Bout the inglish as they havent got the Balls to govern themselves

  56. 56
    Magdas war says:

    Where have you been, Canterbury ?

  57. 57
    Tessa Tickles says:

    There were three teachers at my prep-school who were in their 70s.

  58. 58
    Yuri Navinalark says:

    I hope that UKIP’s MPs in the House of Commons are making their views known.

  59. 59
    Harriet Harmans all women shortlist says:

    I was hacked once and had to change my password to Harriet Dromey

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Nell you daft old cow, the parties name is The Conservative and UNIONIST party.
    Now think long and hard about which union the party is concerned with you stupid old goat. Go and put your money where your big fat mouth is and join an inglish independence party.

  61. 61
    Education, edyercashun, edgyercayshunn says:

    inglish ??

  62. 62
    Cede East Anglia to Latvia or somewhere over there says:

    Nell is from East Anglia which I believe is now part of the eastern block since it comprises of 33% Romanian, 25% Polish 12% Latvian 6% Estonian 6%Chech with the remaining 18% comprising of the native turnip munchers and Climate Change Gurus.

  63. 63
    You dont get sarcasm do you ? says:


  64. 64
    Lard Presclott of Bulimia, Bog Seats, Beams,Bellies,Banjos,Punches, Croquet, Pies, Jags 'n' Shags says:

    Make mine a large one.

  65. 65
    SaltPetre says:

    God! Why don’t we just give Scotchland their independence and tell them to just fuck off?

  66. 66
    Her mantra? HAIR says:

    “Tory Party Chairman Baroness Warsi just told the Politics Show that she though Davidson was “fantastic”.”

    If this wicked evil tory had gone to a good school like Saint Paul’s Girls’ school he would not have omitted the ‘t’ from the word.

  67. 67
    Cheep says:

    I got an email from the USA the other day informing me that KFC have shortened their name to simple initials as they are no longer permitted to use the word “chicken” because a lot (if no all) of what they serve apparently isn’t.

  68. 68
    Mad Jock McMad says:

    Another ‘OOPS’ moment for the Tory Party’s Scotland region – apparently Annabelle Goldie (the Tories current lame duck leader in Scotland) has told a Telegraph Journo that Westminster can not afford to let Scotland become independent – she said, “The remaining UK will be financially worse off if Scotland becomes independent.”

    Not the normal ranting line of the Torygraph or Daily Mule, for sure, on Scotland’s ‘dependency culture’….

  69. 69
    expat says:

    Yup, daily mayhem and murders here on the Thai/Malaysia border. usually teachers and other government officials just gunned down as they go about their business.

  70. 70
    part time educationist says:

    The word “comprising” is NEVER followed by the word “OF”.

    You are confusing it with “CONSISTING”.

    Here endeth the lesson.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Have ConHome shut down?

  72. 72
    Ah! Monika H/T Telegraph says:

    Indian summers could become more frequent in the south of the country because of global warming, forecasters have warned, although the current hot weather will come to an end later this week.

    But then again they ‘could’ become less frequent.

    Russel Grant, Telegraph Forecaster

  73. 73
    Just So You Know says:

    The MEPs are.

  74. 74
    Lord Stansted says:

    F5 button? Is that some sort of Microsoft crap?

  75. 75
    Edward of the Clan McMilitwit says:

    Davidson has only been an MP for a few months and is inexperienced and she is a gob. Murdo Fraser wants to completely rebrand the party and give it a new name. Many Scots agree that the party needs to be a devolution party and not a Westminster puppet party. I hope Fraser does not come up with a boring name like the democratic christian party.

  76. 76
    Andy Murray's mum says:

    ANDY MURRAY strolled to a 6-2 6-0 victory over Donald Young to win the Thailand Open.

    Thank god ( lower case g …there isn’t a big one ) Gordon didn’t find out

  77. 77
    nell says:


    murdo’s got the right idea. abandon the tory party and create another centre right party for scotland under a new name.

    Let’s face it the tory party performance in scotland is pretty dire. The scottish don’t exactly embrace the tory business model of working for a living, marriage and taking responsibility for your family , providing for your own needs etc.

    Perhaps if murdo could come up with a model of a centre right party that believed in mass welfare dependence and idleness the scots would embrace it and kick out the snp and labour.

    I think I saw a pink pig flying over kirkcaldy with the rain clouds earlier.

  78. 78
    Samuel Johnson says:

    The noblest prospect which a Scotman ever sees, is the high road that leads him to England.

  79. 79
    Bit Naive says:

    Will they understand that sort of language in Scotland?

  80. 80
    Not quite ended says:

    Shouldn’t that be a lower case ‘of’? And ‘ consisting’ too?

  81. 81
    Ah! Monika says:

    Gordon, pink? Full on red.

  82. 82
    Truth seeker says:

    Annabel Goldie admitted yesterday that the Scots are being frisked economically by the English and the Scot’s would be better off economically by being Independent.
    They are Annabel’s words not mine!!!

  83. 83
    nell says:

    Well I don’t know about all those different nationalities you are talking about. We have encountered some polish folks hereabouts- interesting – they are real hard workers .

    There are loads of English welfare benefit claimants at the job centre , not interested in working but the polish folks will do the jobs that those English layabouts won’t and do those jobs well.

  84. 84
    nell says:

    Yawn. Remind me again when did the Union happen? Was it 1777 or thereabouts?

    Don’t you think after nearly 250 years it’s time for a rethink?

  85. 85
    nell says:

    Good! Time to abandon the Barnett formula then!

  86. 86
    nell says:

    Wonder what the global warming idiots are going to say if we get that promised snow by the end of October?

  87. 87
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Simple solution for Scotland, Let them have Scotland andf they can have thier socialist paradise but no hand outs from England and bring all the subs etc south.

  88. 88
    Fred the Shred ( knighted by Gordon Brown ) says:

    Great !! Send them all the RBS and Bank of Scotland liabilities to deal with as well !

  89. 89

    MEP – powerless.

  90. 90
    Rat's arse says:

    Agree entirely Nell. I honestly couldn’t give a flying you-know-what about Scotland or it’s population.

  91. 91
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  92. 92
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Not meant to come out like that grrrrrrrrr

  93. 93
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    RichardJMurphy Richard Murphy
    by Labourcat
    There’s one word to say to every Tory who says Labour created the deficit. It’s simple and easy to remember. And it’s accurate. It’s ‘liar’.
    16 minutes ago

  94. 94
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    KerryMP Kerry McCarthy MP
    by Labourcat
    I’m reliably informed that the #lgbt event at Tory conference is openly referred to by others as ‘the poofs party’. #cpc11
    3 minutes ago

    Guido, is this true?

  95. 95
    Magic Mong says:

    Yeah the English like to exploit the Scots. Worse, spongers like the Browns have exploited the Scot for their own gain.

  96. 96
    Marmite says:

    Oh magic mong, I do hope you wake up from your drug induced sleep soon.

  97. 97
    Marmite says:

    The Leiber party know all about that sort of thing Billy.

  98. 98
    Batty Nell the bigot says:

    The Scots have given the UK 330billion in resources alone. The NI have given a sack of tatties and terrorism. The Welsh a sack of coal and Aled Jones. The English another failed Bank and Morris Dancers.

  99. 99
    Marmite says:

    Comment 91 applies to you too Batty.

  100. 100

    Nell, the Tory Party’s performance in the House of Commons is pretty dire! When are you going to stop wearing those rose tinted spectacles when talking about Cameron and crew? I’ve supported the Conservatives for forty years but no longer while Cameron is leader.

    Don’t you realise Cameron, Maude, Warsi, Spellman, May etc. have total contempt for their longstanding supporters? What’s the point of supporting this crew when they think your views are “bollocks” to quote expenses trougher Maude?

    Cameron is as much a chancer as his hero Tony Blair. Wouldn’t trust any further than I could throw him. Unless there’s some Tory backbencher with the guts to take on Cameron or offer a leadership challenge, it’s UKIP for me in future. I don’t care if UKIP take thousands of votes from the Tories ( and maybe usher in a Labour Govt.) Cameron and co. don’t deserve any support. Wavey Davey is obviously more at home with the Limp-Dumbs. He’s certainly no Conservative!

  101. 101
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    IainDale Iain Dale
    RT @kerrymp ‘The #lgbt event at Tory conference is openly referred to by others as ‘the poofs party’. >>You disgusting woman. Stop lying.
    59 seconds ago

  102. 102
    The English can kiss my Scot Ass it is filled with gas. says:

    @Nell The Union benefits the English and stop treating the Scots like second class citizen. You are bigot who writes the same shit over and over again.

  103. 103
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    As the Conservatives began their annual conference in Manchester, a right wing political bloggers organised anti-spending cuts rally took place in the city centre.

    An estimated 30,000 people attended, many blowing whistles and horns, waving flags and chanting: “David”Fatty” Cameron out.”

  104. 104
    Mikey Smithson"The cheeky chappie" says:

    Passenger safety announcement for any delgates attending the conservative party conference by train.

    Please mind the gap.

  105. 105
    it's gone dark oh it's raining again says:

    Shame they didn’t have the same rallies when their “brothers/sisters” were in charge for 13 years, people would then have not thought that these rallies are to try and get political advantage.

  106. 106
    billy's botty goes bonkers in bangkok says:

    There’s only one thing that’s equal in ridiculousness to a pinko, commie nonce Billy, and that’s a pinko, nazi nonce.

  107. 107
    Batty Nell the Bigot says:

    @Nell &Marmite. If you hate the Scots so much get your own English Independence Party. Then you can rule over your thieving rioters until your hearts are content. What are you on this forum for? you are clearly not unionists, just bigots.

  108. 108
    Liebour Troll Warning System says:

    kiss kick

  109. 109
    Jock McSponger says:

    Keep your hair on !

  110. 110
    Historian says:

    Scotland is not worth the whisper of an evening fart…

  111. 111
    Dave Bullingdon Rave says:

    Look co-conspirators

    I am just trying to keep some semblance of government going in this Broen Society which is suffering from “Moral Collapse”

    Will you help me before it is too late ?

  112. 112
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    If Murdo manages it in Scotchland, that could set the model for a proper new party south of the border, merging the best policies of UKIP with the few remaining Conservative ones, headed by some presentable people who could grab the attention of enough downtrodden voters to get the message home.

    A couple of elections on, and we could be rid of Cast-Iron Con-Man Cameron and his slippery accolytes, also destroying the Labour and Lib-dem f*ckwits in the process, and finally giving us a national government we could believe in.

    And after we left the EU, we’d finally have our own country back – after a half-century of Hell bequeathed by the traitor Heath.

  113. 113
    Jack says:

    The problem is, old boy, that you are part of the Moral Collapse

    Fiddling your mortgage and other expenses when you are a millionaire of inherited money (or will be) just shows that you have no “morality”

    I could go on…

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron will ignore it, and keep charging the green taxes on our utility bills.

  115. 115
    AC1 says:

    Think the f-keys were on the original IBM keyboards long before Microshite emerged.

  116. 116
    David Cameron's advicer for a stronger and fairer Union. says:

    Nell and her ilk bigotted views about Scotland and the Scots are not welcome or upheld by The Conservative and Unionist Party. England and Scotland are stronger within the Union.
    Thank you

  117. 117
    Marmite says:

    Well, you scotch can spot a bigot a mile off can’t you Batty? Go and kiss Mctw@t’s arse, you ridiculous little twerp.

  118. 118
  119. 119
  120. 120
    Marmite says:

    *advisor not advicer, you silly plonker.

  121. 121
    AC1 says:

    and with the money paying his father in law and other looters.

  122. 122
    AC1 says:

    If there was a Referendum in England and Wales on splitting from Scotland I reckon it would win easily.

  123. 123
    AC1 says:

    He’s a rent-seeking moron with a vested interest in houses staying unaffordable and thus preventing the economic recovery.

    He’s also a Marxist so him calling someone else a liar is rather hypocritical.

  124. 124
    Scotland's Tourist Board says:

    Can the English control their thieving ri*ters please. It is having an adverse effect on Scottish Tourism. Keep a lid on it or the English willed viewed as a liability.

  125. 125
    Sungei Patani says:

    If that is an example of the competence of an UKIP MEP then I have just seen a very good reason for UKIP supporters voting Conservative.

  126. 126
    JamesII says:

    No way!. They would drag it down. I am quite happy for the Tories to drop ‘Unionist’ from their title and lobby for independence, but under their own banner. The SNP are doing quite nicely without then in spite of them having to kick against the many pricks (it’s biblical BTW)!

  127. 127
    JamesII says:

    That is why there has been a n exodus from down south to live in Scotland. Civilisation!

  128. 128
    Marmite says:

    I suspect the scotch are too drunk to go out rioting. Buckfast is very harmful to the old grey matter, so I’m told.

  129. 129
    The Paragnostic says:

    Not one new party, but several – local parties for local people.

    A loose confederation of parties all of which value Britishness in its various forms – and all of which reject the statist ‘consensus’ that has been foisted upon the people by the metropolitan elite over the past 60-odd years.

    It would, of course, lead to perpetual government by coalition, but allowing each region to fight its corner in the Westminster corrida (and there’s a mixing of metaphors for you) would lead to greater openness in government, and a fairer distribution of taxation and spending. The marginalisation of the Left would be more easily achieved were the policies of the non-socialist alternatives not so heavily identified with the Conservatives of old – Northern parties could relect on the achievements of the great industrialists, East Anglians could represent the interests of agriculture, leaving only the various Bantustans populated by our subcontinental guests represented by the oily and lying Socialists.

    The Union would be a real Union – not a series of provinces beholden to the metropolitan liberal elite and their strange ideas of equality and ‘ooman rights.

  130. 130
    JamesII says:

    Split the Tories into three, or even six. Divide and conquer. Not that it needs to be applied in Scotland.

  131. 131
    JamesII says:

    We don’t need handouts, just to get rid of the millstone around our neck. AKA England!

  132. 132
    The Paragnostic says:

    Don’t they still have a law banning lese majesty (since when has the spelling been thus bastardised? It was lèse majesté when I were a lad…)?

    What’s a PM doing Twattering, anyway?

  133. 133
    The Paragnostic says:

    Augean Stables?

    Sorting out education after 13 years of continued devaluation of exams, pollution of the curriculum by socialism and decline in discipline and values is surely a Sisyphean rather than a Herculean challenge…

  134. 134
    The Paragnostic says:

    Our old head of Art back in the 70s was somewhere close to 80 – he’d been in a Japanese POW camp. RIP Artie Bell – one of life’s gentlemen.

  135. 135
    albacore says:

    And nobody seems to have noticed 40,000 bikers in the Ride To The Wall in honour of Britain’s fallen heroes.

  136. 136
    The West Lothian Question answered in one says:

    England demands repatriation of all Labour Scottish politicians north of the border and strict quotas on their re-admittance…..

  137. 137
    Scotland's Tourist Board says:

    @Marmite. Is bigoted comments all you have to contribute to the debate on Scottish tourism? Would you not feel more at home on another blog that caters for your bigoted, bitter and destructive views. You may want to start a thread on English people’s destructive behaviour and how it can destroy the Scottish tourist economy.

  138. 138
    The Milch Cow of Scotland says:

    Spot on …..The result would be greater than the No vote in the AV referendum especially in England

  139. 139
    In Gold we trust. says:

    + 1.

  140. 140
    The Paragnostic says:

    No wonder you’re part time…

    Comprising is, one has to agree, never followed by ‘of’, but ‘is comprised of’ is a perfectly normal usage.

    ‘Comprises of’, though, is utterly wrong, as it confuses the passive and active voices. I’d suggest that this implies that Nell’s antagonist is either one of those educated since the abolition of the teaching of grammar, or perhaps does not distinguish between active and passive because such distinctions are un-PC.

    Please play again :-)

  141. 141
    Scotch Mist says:

    Perhaps you can answer a question that has always bugged me on my trips north of the border ?

    Why is it that every time a coach stops full of tourists in what apppears to be a deserted spot with nobody apparently for miles and miles that a Bagpiper in full Highland fig accompanied by a wee boy with a collecting bo xjumps out from behind a rock ,sheep or bush and precedes to wail and screech until the said tourists surrender and give him a few baubies and get back on the coach ??

  142. 142
    The Paragnostic says:

    You’re just jealous AC1 – if you could extort money from the taxpayer by allowing your land to be despoiled with useless and unsightly wind turbines, I’m sure your principles would be stretched…

  143. 143
    The Conservate & Bigot Party says:

    The English are extremely bitter and confused. What a shame.

  144. 144
    The Paragnostic says:

    You’d probably only do another Darien and need bailing out again though!

  145. 145
    Liebour Troll Warning System says:

    Said the sad,sad, Liebour troll.

  146. 146
    In Gold we trust. says:

    We are very happy to take the millstone, if you would just clear off for good.

    We’d promise not to visit you. You can do what the F you like for ever.

    Naturally we’d put the millstone to work and gain useful output from it.

    But you guys could curl up in the heather in your tartans, to await the Pretender.

  147. 147
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Kareneatstories profile

    Kareneatstories Tory delegates in Manchester, do you realise every time you go out to eat or drink, you’re consuming at least 5% urine and gob? #cpc11 4 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  148. 148
    Stinkfinger says:

    Can you blame them though?
    The English have been given nothing but anti unionist propaganda for decades.
    If Anti Falklander propaganda had been pushed to the same extent I bet they would be saying,
    “Fuck the Falklands let them and the Argies sort it out themselves”
    Nell you are wrong and have obviously fallen for this shit.
    See who the real winners would be by Britain being being split up.
    Look at the individuals who are pushing for it most.
    Jesus it aint rocket science.

  149. 149
    Fred the Shred ( knighted by Gordon Brown ) says:

    Give it a rest !! I don’t want to upset the English in case they stop paying my modest pension.

  150. 150
    Lies, Damned lies & Labour statistics says:

    Hmmmm that sounds like one of our statistics.

  151. 151
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    YvetteCooperMP profile

    YvetteCooperMP TMay attack on HRA is shameful. It isn’t the HRA, it’s 20% police cuts that are undermining the fight against crime and terror. 5 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  152. 152
    The Paragnostic says:

    I’m sure that a film of a tour round Kirkcaldy, presented by the ‘Great Man’ (© e.e. milibollocks) Gordon McRuin, will revive the fortunes of what is, after all, one of your few sources of foreign currency.

    I don’t think that a few chavs nicking stuff from shops in England’s benighted inner cities will affect the tourists in Scotland, though a visit to Leith would probably put them off Edinburgh should they stray over the hill…

  153. 153
    The Conservate & Bigots Foaming at the mouth Party says:

    Poor English people. What a shame. :(

  154. 154
    Mega-City Corporation says:

    Eat recycled food.

  155. 155
    The Paragnostic says:

    You mean they’ve cut the piss content of Boddingtons again?


  156. 156
    Billy Blowhard says:

    It sounds like Billy’s favourite meal.

  157. 157
    annette curton says:

    We are now thanks to a certain nutter who is now resident in Fife.

  158. 158
    The Paragnostic says:

    O/T, but can anyone explain the strange syndrome that appears to have afflicted Mrs Balls of late?

    For a public-school educated denizen of Hampshire to suddenly acquire a Yorkshire twang (it’s more Lanc, really, but the papers seem to think it’s Yorkie) is very strange.

    There is a medical condition called Foreign Accent Syndrome, but this is often associated with brain damage.

    Mind you, she is married to Balls, and is a member of the Labour Party…

  159. 159
    Stinkfinger says:

    A good place to start would be by getting party shit out of local politics.

  160. 160
    Truth Seeker. says:

    The language of Scottish politics is changing and unionism is somewhat out dated. We are now engaging in the concept of devolution/ism. Murdo was the first to recognise that the Scottish Conservatives need to recognise devolution and how the SC need to think ahead and rebrand the party if it is to survive in Scotland. Even David Cameron reluctantly believes this to be the way forward.

  161. 161
    Stinkfinger says:

    It’s the 200% increase in bungle Junnies that have undermined the Police fight against crime and terror you stupid C*nt.

  162. 162
    annette curton says:

    It wouldn’t surprise me if they cut the urine content of piss and the water content of spittle.

  163. 163
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    MagsNews I have it on good authority that Derek Draper didn’t buy the champagne, it was former gen sec Ray Collins – celebrating retirement/lordship! 6 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  164. 164
    Jimmy says:

    There’s a Scottish Conservative Party?

  165. 165
    AC1 says:

    To use a movie business analogy…

    It needs a new cast and a reboot.

  166. 166
    stick insect says:

    Did Dolly Draper buy any soap to wash with ?
    I doubt it.

  167. 167
    AC1 says:

    I’m guessing he took no shit of the kids…

  168. 168
    The Paragnostic says:

    If the Falklands had produced two politicians who, between them, had fucked up Britain as badly as Blair and Brown (I include Blair as he was ‘educated’ at Fettes), along with the most corrupt Speaker in a couple of centuries (Incitatus, a.k.a. Gorbals Mick), the dumbest and most self obsessed Home Secretary in my lifetime (‘Dr.’ Reid), a venal and utterly useless Transport Secretary / Chancellor (thankyou, Darling) and various other arseholes, and had contributed to the disaster that was Labour administration by electing donkeys with red roses for decades, then I’m sure we’d be telling the sheep shaggers to fuck off.

    But they’ve got oil now, and the Jocks haven’t, so I remain blissfully bigoted.

  169. 169
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    Yes, I can explain. We flipped our second home three times. Mrs. Ball-Scooper occasionally forgets where she is.

  170. 170
    stick insect says:

    Harriet Harman.
    This woman is a nutter.
    Did you see her on sky being interviewed ?
    This woman also needs a wash. Dirty hair.
    Like most socialists.

  171. 171
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

    So what ?

  172. 172
    can't wait for billy's next wanky tweetfest in bangkok says:

    Anything can happen in the next half hour!

  173. 173
    tartan tit watch says:

    There’s about 3 million jocks called Jimmy; which one are you?

  174. 174
    annette curton says:

    What brand of champagne was it Billy? and was it poured from a magnum or a Jeroboam, Go!
    20 seconds ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  175. 175
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    ive seen as much of the tory conference as i can now(about 2 minutes), any more would be bad for my health.

    David”Double Dip” Cameron is a completer twerp

  176. 176
    The Paragnostic says:

    The idea of any of us giving him shit didn’t even arise – but then again this was 30-odd years ago…

  177. 177
    Dave watch says:

    So Dave is now reneging on his cast iron guarantee to hold a referendum if the European treaty is changed. Inserting weasel words into the small print like adverse, affect, and Britain. Hunt, Boris is right, Dave is a CUNΤ

  178. 178
    Michael Spinner says:

    Calm down, dear. It’s only a conference.

  179. 179
    Patel Patel says:

    What is Scotland?

  180. 180
    Frankie Boyle says:

    The British equivalent of a Mumbai slum.

  181. 181
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I think i am a twitter convert…..

  182. 182
    The Conservative & Bigots foaming at the mouth Party. says:

    :) Should be an interesting conference. It cannot be any worse than the Lyingbore Party Conference.

  183. 183
    AC1 says:

    I’m a Georgist so I think most of the rent-seeking wind gains would be taxed away again….

  184. 184
    AC1 says:

    Off the kids.

    Spel Chek on
    Grammar Check Off

  185. 185
    Anonymous says:

    In cases like this, http://www.bit.ly is your friend (other URL-shortening services are also available).

  186. 186
    Ian Gray being interviewed by Mystic Meg. says:

    I resigned as leader of the Scottish Labour Party ages ago. I will stay as leader until 2014. By then we should have kidnapped, brainwashed, blackmailed and bribed someone into being the next Scottish Labour Party leader.

  187. 187
    oddly helpful says:

    Do you mean ‘Fisked’, rather than ‘frisked’ – as in comprehensively dressed-down and debunked? ‘Frisked’ – as in a pat-down security search makes little sense in this context.

  188. 188
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Just realised it was Babycham. Nothing too good for the workers.

  189. 189
    Tachybaptus says:

    And here Boris proves that he has what it takes to be a Prime Minister:


  190. 190
    Anonymous says:

    Start with East Anglia, cant we tow it out into the Northsea ?

  191. 191
    Russell Brand says:

    So says some thick inglish prick whohas never been there.

  192. 192
    Buggery the national sport of ingland says:

    Still trying to deal with the 25million inglish called Nigel

  193. 193
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    A yeast infection is a bonus, yum yum.

  194. 194
    Nemo says:

    Well lads and lasses tha mun bi reet, but dunt ferget he’s “the son a B’Liar”

  195. 195
    nell says:

    What a Great idea sweetie!!

    Let’s usher in a labour govt in 2015 with the schoolboy’which tie should I wear today mummy’militwit as pm and bully’spendspendspend’balls as chancellor.

    If you thought gordon was bad, balls as chancellor would be worse by a multiple of about 1000 and then some!!

  196. 196
    Southern Softy says:

    Give me Mumbai over Easterhouse any day!

  197. 197
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    KerryMP is accusing the tories of homophobia(of a type)

  198. 198
    nell says:

    Oh I think you do Mumbai a disservice!

  199. 199
    Frankie Boyle says:

    I’m Scottish, numbskull.

  200. 200
    AC1 says:

    Mo’ Problems.

  201. 201
    And Gordon? Where's Gordon? says:

  202. 202
    Arse Busters says:

    We ain’t afraid of no poofs.

  203. 203
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Notice the “I”, no kids, no Gordon.

  204. 204
    Mandy says:

    I’d love a Babysham.

  205. 205
    Mrs Jack Dromey says:

    You should see her pubes. Matted, they are. Like a sheep’s arse.

    Good job I’ve still got my trusty right hand for when Mistress Harriet lets me take the chastity belt off. Roll on Friday.

  206. 206
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Yep. I’ve had a couple of good meals in Mumbai.

  207. 207
    annette curton says:

    Problem with the roof at home?.

  208. 208
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And the cricket is of a better standard.

  209. 209
    Desperate Housewife says:

    But isn’t marriage supposed to be for better or worse, richer or poor?

    She must have known that the London high society life and pyjama parties with the rich and powerful would come to an end one day, as would Gordon’s political career.

    Now that the going has got tough and Gordon is sucking the very lifeblood out of her is no excuse for her to leave Gordon feeding the kids bake beans on toast while she escapes to an imaginary better world at the local scotch flea pit.

  210. 210
    Father Ted says:

    Merged party called U-Con or even Con-U?

  211. 211
    Gordon McBroon says:

    I’m free! Having saved the UK and the world, you should see my plans for selling all the oil to the Russians for $1 a barrel – it can’t fail.

  212. 212
    Spud Murphy says:

    Why did Bombay drop the bombay name and become Mumbai? It’s potatoes were the best.

  213. 213
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Better to have the Scotch fleas sucking the lifeblood out of you than spend 10 minutes with Gordoom doing the same to your very soul. The poor beard. I almost feel sorry for her.

  214. 214
    Twitter ye not. says:

    Old_Holborn Old Holborn
    4 minutes ago

  215. 215
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Too true, Billy! Always the hallmark of a decent civilisation. :-)

  216. 216
    B says:

    Specially if they have 4-day or test match cricket.

  217. 217
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    That was me.

  218. 218
    nell says:

    Don’t feel sorry for her – feel sorry for those poor boys because their parents are never there for them.

  219. 219
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You make ya bed then lay in it, as they say.

  220. 220
    The Paragnostic says:

    Aye, but the duck tasted fishy…

  221. 221
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Yawn. Who gives a fuck. Cast iron Dave’s a dead man walking.

  222. 222
    Platypus says:

    What is it with humans and ducks?

  223. 223
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dunno, they must be quackers.

  224. 224
  225. 225
    nell says:

    Nope don’t think so.

    ‘Tis militwit and balls who are going to fall at the 2015 hurdle. Alas cleggie’s libdems are going to crash right behind them!

  226. 226
    The Caledonian says:

    The Scottish Conservatives need to get over themselves, they belong to the undevolved politics of Scottish History. Time to rebrand themselves. Murdo leader of The Caledonian Party. Love it! Bring it on.

  227. 227
    joescotus says:

    ot just dipped into the guardian online what utter fucking shite!

  228. 228
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You seem suprised.

  229. 229
    David says:

    Anyone know the Conservatives national anthem? I only know the first line…

    “We’ll keep the visa cards flying” Oh Theresa you know you can’t keep that promise EU will see to that and that boss of yours he’s stuck in the middle, won’t give us a say even!

    I mean they gotta mouth off it’s ‘party time’ and they wanna talk big all sound bite if you ask me.

  230. 230
    annette curton says:

    Take my advice and keep well away.

  231. 231
    Tired of English Whingers says:

    If you’re handing out Scotch, I’ll take a Bowmore. Thanks.

  232. 232
    UKIP-B&P-ED says:

    Oh do fuck off nell, their all c’unts of the highest order and you know it too!
    Yes maybe the blue c’unts are slightly better than the yellow and red c’unts but not by much.

  233. 233
    Tired of English Whingers says:

    Ah but at least it isn’t full of xenophobes. I’m sure you feel right at home in England farting out your loathsome stink.

  234. 234
    Cast Iron Dave says:

    Roll up roll up it’s big talky talky time with lots of sound bites bravado and bullshit!

  235. 235
    Tired of English Whingers says:

    Still pretending you have some decent whisky and lying about it. No wonder the English keep rioting.

  236. 236
    Tired of English Whingers says:

    True, but they do throw a good riot. You have to admit that.

  237. 237
    nell says:


    I’m really sorry that nigelfarage hasn’t made an MP yet. Hopefgully it will happen in 2015.

    Unfortunately his one swallow won’t make a summer and he needs to work out how to turn ukip into a real electoral challenge against labour and the libdems. Unless he can do that he is never going to get the votes he needs to be a credible opposition.

    As for the rest of the fringe parties – well that’s all they’ll ever be!!

  238. 238
    Sir Reginald Titbrain [Decd.] says:

    Billy;I’m past being old, as you’ll have noticed, and don’t really care what is happening void-insertion wise amongst the chattering classes, but I do care passionately about both the Empire and apostrophes, so get a fucking grip, there’s a good lad.

  239. 239
    nell says:

    Land of Hope and Glory, Mother of the Free,
    How shall we extol thee, who are born of thee?
    Wider still and wider shall thy bounds be set;
    God, who made thee mighty, make thee mightier yet,

    Of course if you’re labour it’ll not be freedom and hope you’re wanting – it’ll be bigger gold plated public service pensions, bigger welfare payments, more public sector non jobs…..all to be paid for by private sector workers/taxpayers.

  240. 240
    nell says:

    You’re too late sweetie that was last week at militwit’s labour conference!!

  241. 241
    nell says:

    Caledonian Party sounds good (or at least good enough for the scots) !!

  242. 242
    joescotus says:

    right i’ve given up .may have been on holiday. may have been in my sick bed,,,,,,,,,,,,,,what happened to thumbs up?~ please put me out of my misery

  243. 243
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    they were scrapped (they slowed down the site), or the free trail run out.

  244. 244
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    I agree, Nell. I envisage the UK economy in slow, sustained growth by 2015, and the Tories can then say, “look, we managed to avoid the worst of what happened in America and the EU, and accomplished it even with the Lib Dems’ ridiculous demands and bollox.” And it will be a gentle, sustained growth – not a bubble. “Now, elect us with a majority and we’ll sort out all the European crap that we had to go along with in order to keep the LDs on side in order to save the economy, which was the most pressing concern.”

    If Cameron has any decent advisors and goes heavily anti-European (given the mess it will be in by then). then it will be a 1997 landslide, particularly once the Labour bias has been independently taken out of the elctoral system, and even more likely if Miliband, Balls, Cooper et al are still at the helm of Labour.

  245. 245
    Tachybaptus says:

    Land of Health and Safety, land of slavery,
    Where is there a street without CCTV?
    Poorer still and poorer shall our folk be made;
    Those who take our money, ever better paid.

  246. 246
    David says:

    Tachybaptus says:
    October 2, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    Genius…. love it, hehehe

  247. 247
    joescotus says:

    thank you.

  248. 248
    nell says:

    Ah Tachybaptus this is exactly what labour has made to happen in our cities this last 13 years exactly why I avoid them when I can!!

  249. 249
    The Paragnostic says:

    Or the Scottish version:

    “Land of dope and Bucky, scrounging all that’s free
    How shall we extort thee, while watching crap TV?
    Faster, wider, deeper shall we make your d*bt
    God, who let the Jocks in? They will beggar us yet…”

    © The Paragnostic – bigoted and proud of it :-)

  250. 250
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    It won’t make it any better. One of our District Indys has just been sent down for kiddy fiddling and another was caught running a local recycling credits scam.

  251. 251
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    Yes. Nearly one million people voted for it. They got one MP. Gerrymcmandering at its finest.

  252. 252
    Jimmy says:

    “Nearly one million people voted for it.”

    Is that you Gideon?

  253. 253
    He was doing so good up till this point as well.... says:

    The paragnostic cowardly and proud of it :)

  254. 254
    He was doing so good up till this point as well.... says:

    Tv which of course was invented by a scotsman you bullied little c unt

  255. 255

    Nell, it doesn’t really matter which party gets in power at the next election.Cameron has already sold his soul to Brussels and is allowing the Lib-Dems to dictate policy. I voted for a Tory government at the last election but what we’ve finished up with is Labour-lite. The current bunch of misfits we have in power are just as looney as Labour. What have they done since May 2010:-

    Higher levels of borrowing than even the fruitcake Brown managed.
    Higher levels of immigration.
    Meekly accepting ever more ludicrous diktats from Brussels
    Convicted criminals serving even less of their full prison sentences than Labour managed.
    Increasing foreign aid by billions while decimating our military capability in time of conflict.
    Allowing dodgy property developers to have preferential status in planning applications and allowing them to concrete over greenbelt land.
    Allowing Chris Huhne to destroy our economy with his green taxes, unilateral carbon reductions and further destruction of our countryside with wind farms. Also pushing thousands into fuel poverty with his hidden surcharges on gas and electricity to pay for those windmills.

    All the above in less than eighteen months! These aren’t the actions of a Conservative dominated government. I’m financially worse off now than when Labour were in power ( as much as that pains me to admit it)

    Let’s face it Nell, ALL M.P.s of whatever party are Lying, deceitful, dishonest, corrupt chancers. The last people these bastards think of are the poor bloody idiots who voted for them, you included. It doesn’t matter who is in government, your future is being decided for you by people who couldn’t give a stuff about your welfare. They are planning your life for you but your own views on how you would like to live aren’t welcome.

  256. 256
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    Sorry the maths was pretty shit. It was 17% of the population of 5.6 million so it was , well, nearly a million. Maybe, with such a poor grasp of numbers, I could be Chancellor and then Prime Minister one day.

  257. 257
    Its oor gas ! says:

    The latest is there’s enough natural gas in Lancashire to keep England going for 200 years

    and we’ve only just started looking

    Scotland can keep her oil . Natural gas is cheaper and cleaner.

  258. 258
    free England says:

    Anonymous , you daft old twat, the “and Unionist” bit derives from the amalgamation of the Conservative party with Liberal Unionist party in 1913 and refers to the Union of Great Britain and Ireland.

    Now think long and hard about what happened to that union you puckkin prat

Seen Elsewhere

Liz Kendall For Leader | Indy
Bashir Booted Out By Respect | Respect
Americans Try Haggis | Guardian
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Steven Woolfe For UKIP Leader? | Asa Bennett
Mohammed — in Pictures | Speccie
Leon Brittan’s Accusers Must Show Their Evidence | Dan Hodges
New Saudi King Renames Roads While Body Still Warm | TechnoGuido
In Davos, Carrying a BlackBerry is a Status Symbol | Business Insider
New Labour in Peep Show Quotes | Telegraph
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers