September 29th, 2011

Watch: Ed’s Scottish Gaffe

After spending his entire conference failing to convince us that he’s not a weirdo, Ed has finally had a human moment – he was unable to remember the names of the three candidates grudgingly running for leader of the Scottish Labour Party:

“Ed speaks human!” As the campaign briefing went last summer…


  1. 1
    Reuters correspondent, always first with the news says:



  2. 2
    Alex Salmond says:

    Ed is excused

    The people in question are of no consequence, since I will take Jockland to Independence


    • 13
      Bled White Taxpayer says:

      Mr Salmond, you may be over-reaching yourself. All of those people who vote SNP are voting against Labour. It’s not the same as voting for independence, particularly as the oil runs out and Scotland’s economic future without oil is about as supportable as a Greek spinning plate on a pole.


    • 20
      Tax Payer says:

      Independence is the last thing you want, actually.


      • 32
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        Which is why they’re so keen on joining the EU?

        In theory they wouldn’t be allowed in unless they joined the euro.


        • 42
          Tax Payer says:

          Talk is cheap…..

          The SNP cannot get round the difficulties and costs of becoming and staying independent. These are irresolvable, and hence they do not want independence, actually.


          • Gordon under the Forth Rail Bridge says:

            That’s right the SNP don’t really want independence. it’s just a game for them and you chaps really will get to keep trousering the Scottish cash forever. It’s a tap that definitely won’t be switched off when the Scots break the union and don’t let anyone tell you different.

            Nothing to be scared off, nothing at all.


    • 91
      50 Calibre says:

      Can England have its own Parliament then?


  3. 3
    Bobby Mugabe says:

    How dare the interviewer help him out in that situation.


  4. 4
    Jamie says:

    Haha – TWAT!


  5. 5
    Lies, Damned lies & Labour statistics says:

    Has Ed got early onset Alzheimers or is it selective amnesia ???

    Give him another few months and he won’t be able to remember that it was the Liebour Reign of Terror ( 1997-2010 ) that turned this Country into a b@nkrvpt cesspit. It’ll be the fault of those nasty Conservatives.


    • 10
      Steve Miliband says:

      The BBC have been doing that since May 2010


    • 27
      Super Zuffle says:

      They all have Alzheimer’s, check Yvette laughing at the fact she cannot remember the dire state she left the UK economy in.


      • 37
        Engineer says:

        ‘Barking’, eh?

        At long last, the Beeb are describing some of their programmes accurately.


        • 43
          Super Zuffle says:

          Notice she starts rubbing Dimbleby’s hand when she realises she is making a tw@t of herself.

          Question Time is biased with Dimbleby at the helm hence why i stopped paying my TV Licence


          • Engineer says:

            Must agree. I stopped watching it when I realised that toddling off to bed with high blood pressure and seething anger at the bias wasn’t doing my beauty-sleep any good (and I need all the beauty-sleep I can get).

            Any Questions on Radio 4 is better, especially when the other Dimblebore is replaced as chairman – Eddie Mair usually does a good job.


          • HandsomeDavid says:

            Saw that, labour lovies together?


  6. 8
    YorkshireLad says:

    “Ed speaks human!”

    translated as “Ed talks bollocks”


  7. 9
    Janet Streetwise Porter says:


    I’m Ed Milliband…….I’m the equivalent of the Fast show’s Ed Winchester……i will be around long enough to introduce myself and nothing more.

    Classic turnaround the question into something it isn’t technique on display……”How dare you suggest that guy whose name i can’t remember who you say is a front runner for the job is not an excellent candidate…of course he is”.


  8. 12
    Bill d'Sarse says:


    He is a typical politician. He knows nothing about anything unless it’s been briefed to him immediately beforehand or it’s infront of him on an autocue.


  9. 14
    barry the beast says:

    ” look I say this”
    Just how is that a way to answer a question requesting three names?
    What a dinner gong
    You know for the life of me I cannot imagine what other job he would be suited to.
    Primary school teacher?
    Small town librarian ?
    Drone clerk in dole office oor local council?
    Sales asssitant in one of those shops that sell fantasy games to nerdy children and unwashed obese adults?


    • 40
      W.W. says:

      When the wife asks me what I want for tea, I shall respond.

      “Look what I say is this, Sausage and mash, Spag Bol, or the third one, yes fish and chips, that will make a excellent tea.”

      And he wonders why he gets called weird, because he is weird!

      He uses words I understand, just not in a context I understand.

      ‘Red Ed’ – ‘Wierd Ed’ where do these people come from?


    • 48
      scroties says:

      i see him rising through the ranks to assistant manager at a city mcdonalds geeing up the troops for more fries.


  10. 15
    Billy Blofeld says:

    Interview: Can you name the 3 of them?

    Ed: Yeah look, what I say is there is Tom Harris,

    What is it his his verbal tick of starting every answer with “What I say is”?????

    What I say is both sides should put away the rhetoric, get around the negotiating table etc…….


    • 19
      Empty Ed lashed to his infantile mast says:

      What I say is that I speak with forked tongue

      Like Tonto my hero


    • 24
      Empty Ed says:

      What I say if that I speak out of both sides of my mouth at the same time


    • 26
      barry the beast says:

      Its the same as blairs
      “look” that means shut up you prole

      “I say to you” that means “I am god and I say unto you”


      • 52
        Steve Miliband says:

        ..fuck what was the question..Tom help what’s the answer..I don’t want to annoy my comrades or the Unions but at the same time I want to appear normal and give an answer that will be least worst. Shit this being asked questions thing is a bit tricky..

        Umm is it 12?


      • 59
        Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

        I always start my lies with, ‘ But look….’


      • 62
        Engineer says:

        “With respect…” is another one to watch out for. The rough translation is, “Bugger that and listen to me”.


        • 82
          oddly helpful says:

          ‘And what people want to know…’ is another really good one, which allows absolutely anything to be shoehorned into the debate with a halo that implies that it is the view of the Sovereign People. Autocracy masked as democracy.

          This is the same group which is always ‘hardworking and decent’ (until they are shown up by being filmed robbing white goods from High Street shops).

          Level playing field..
          Trying to do the right thing..
          A better deal..
          And that is what [whoever] is talking about..
          We’ve been absolutely clear..

          …gawd, that Del Pierro woman must have a string in her back that somebody pulls to make her come out with one after another.


        • 92
          Mad Jock McMad says:

          With respect is Royal Navalese for telling your superior officer that if he continues in his or her current disaster prone direction your are all stuffed.

          With respect = you are talking a load of bollocks.


    • 77
      Harriet Har-Har-Harman says:

      To be fair, I’m pretty sure if you asked the candidates who the leader of the Labour Party was they’d reply “David Mil,,,oh I mean, erm….he’s a very strong hitter, a fine leader…”


  11. 16
    Ed Milliband says:

    I will change British Society



  12. 18
    Dead Ed says:

    Didn’t he also use the word “madly” in reply to a question from a representative of MENCAP?


  13. 21
  14. 28
  15. 35
    simon says:

    Anybody think the Scottish Nations no1 bullshitter will use this at FMQ today:)


  16. 44

    Rory Weal’s form tutor’s assessment.

    Rory is very bright. He excels in English and Home Economics. He enjoys history, although his grasp of it is limited. “Thatcher did not cancel the EMA and introduce HIPS. But he did do a lovely project on dinosaurs.

    He is good at badminton,swimming, tennis, croquet and is a lance corporal in the CCF where he is learning to fly. He was a great help to me on the school skiing trip to Switzerland.

    He is a member of the Junior Fabians Society which I only found out by accident when I saw him ‘looking for Labour Milfs online’
    {he told me that means Minorities In Labour’s Fabian Society.}

    He does need to learn to listen more and not use his Ipad2, i-phone, or i-pod in the classroom.

    Overall, Rory is an asset to his school.

    Miss Olivia. Lumsden
    Poetry and Arts teacher
    St Cakes.


  17. 46
    • 49
      Tory Spinner says:

      If you can’t win elections, you have to change the electorate

      Old saying among us pundits…


    • 72
      W.W. says:

      Anyone to thick or to lazy to fill in the form get what they deserve.

      Not quite in the same league as when Labour made it difficult for soldiers fighting in Iraq to vote, as they had a tendencey not to vote labour.

      Though they where quite happy for them to die for the Tony’s and Ali’s lies.



  18. 50
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Look at his eyes, he looks so freaky.


    • 93
      Mad Jock McMad says:

      Photoshop a rubber kitchen glove on to the top of Ed’s head and it is clear he is an escaped plasticine puppet from Aardman Animation – he is Fingers McGraw.


  19. 51
    Super Zuffle says:

    About bloody time


  20. 54
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Its OK, I hear they havent a clue who Ed Is either.


  21. 58
    Ha hah! says:

    Sums him up perfectly:



  22. 61
    George W Bush says:

    Mr Milligan, the English Premier, is not alone. There are many of us world leaders having moments of forgettingfulness. Names, dates, faces cannot hold a candle of disparity to the urgentatiousness of tropical events. The important thing is that we must all pull the chain together so that we make the pie higher for our forefathers.


  23. 63
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Bear in mind this the “Man” that forgot to put his name on the birth certificate of his children.


  24. 65
    Muffler says:

    To be fair to the weirdo, not evem Mrs Mackintosh would be able to name Ken Mackintosh


  25. 66
    Rory Weal's dad. says:

    Who’s Ed Miliband?


  26. 70
    Nostradamus says:

    Those mesmerising Scottish candidates in full.

    Ken Macintosh – plucked straight from the beeb so no experience of real life. Achievements amount to a nanny state campaign to regulate sun beds.

    Johann Lamont – Trot former teacher. Looks like Angela Merkel’s East German cousin.

    Tom Harris – A Tory that hasn’t yet crossed the floor. Unions won’t allow it.


    • 80
      Grumpy Old Git says:



    • 94
      Mad Jock McMad says:

      Johann Lamont is a retired East German Cumberland Wrestler, without the good looks. Scots have named her Stairheid Rammy Lamont – that being the matriarch of an old Glasgow tenement who got her way by shouting, punching folk and bullying.

      I would also mention that the vast majority of Scots don’t know who is standing for Labour’s North Britain region’s new sock puppet, nor do they much care.


  27. 81
  28. 84
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Poor Red Ed.

    He’ll be using the same excuses as Chris Huhne next :)


  29. 86
    Scott says:

    to be fair – most people struggle to remember his name most of the time………………David isn’t it?


  30. 89
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Ed Miligaffe the new labour bleeder.


  31. 95
    Mad Jock McMad says:

    Anyone worked out who Ed was supposed to be talking to the other day?

    The only name I could come up with was Poly Toynbee.


  32. 96
    Ian the big cock says:

    “okay Ed. Next up is a BBC bloke from BBC Scotland”

    “okay, Whose idea was it to bloody waste time on these provincials? Okay, okay i’ll do it. Christ! Like I don’t have enough to do”

    “ok right, emm, sorry but Scotland is Labours heartland and they are having an election for Scottish leader, so there maybe some questions on this. You remeber the candidates yeah? You know the guys yoy met last night?”

    “yeah yeah fuckin waste of time. Frigging yokels. What must, must”

    “send him in”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,646 other followers