September 28th, 2011

Rory Unreal: School Chums Slam Labour Lad’s Fakery

Sixteen-year-old conference darling Rory Weal had barely sat down before Guido’s inbox started to fill up. His schoolmates were particularly unimpressed with their rebranded chum:

“I attend Rory’s school and know full well that he does not speak in the way he did… the dropped letters all added to his persona..”

There was also some surprise from his classmates that while tear jerking in his speech that since the withdrawal of EMA-dole for students he can’t afford pencils for school, it seems he can in fact afford a £499 iPad to tweet his tales of poverty from:

Did he buy that with his EMA?

The Mail have details of the privately educated Rory’s privileged upbringing. When his property developer father’s firm went bust he had estates worth £2.25million and Rory experienced some social mobility, moving from his private school to a grammar school. Did nobody at Labour HQ take a moment to do a background check, or were they too busy tweaking the speech they wrote for him?

Whilst Rory has been compared to Tory Boy Hague, Guido thinks young Rory is more of a Blair in the making. Remember Tony’s mockney Estuary English. As with Rory the preferred narrative of that public school boy who went on to be PM was a bit more proletarian than the reality. As Rory’s grandma says, like Blair, “he’s a brilliant actor”…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Cradle to grave.

    The scariest words on the planet.


    • 17
      The Grim Reaper says:

      Another Member of Labour’s Wealthy Brat Pack

      Perhaps he is inspired by Tony Blair Millionaire, Two Jags Lord Lardbutt, Mandelbank, Rich Man Kinnockio and Chums, Holland Park dwelling Lefty Benn, Tuscan property chatelaine Polly Twaddle…….

      Isn’t life great when you are wealthy enough to be a socialist!


      • 107
        Rat's arse says:

        He’s nothing more than a silly little shite, and a mini-replica of princess tony.


        • 114
          it's gordons fault says:

          you are so right – what a prat

          nice one guido


        • 115
          David R says:

          No doubt we’ll find out in the coming weeks that it was all fake and he was paid to be young grass roots labour….


        • 126
          misterned says:

          To use the “youth speech” that he will understand, EPIC FAIL! So his father’s property empire collapsed under a labour government, and the kid joins labour? What a fuckwit.

          Total FAIL on labour’s part for letting this spoiled little rich kid within a mile of their stage.

          It says everything about labour that a spoiled little rich kid’s dad loses millions, and his kid thinks that the state should pick up all the pieces costing way more than average earnings. The spoiled little fuck has no clue about the value of money. JUST like Ed Miliband and the rest of the labour rabble.

          Labour may have cheered Ed not being Tony Blair, and may hate the tories, but the only time labour have won elections is when Tony Blair was pretending to be a tory.

          You could not make this past week’s labour shit up. It is satire that rights itself!


          • misterned says:

            “You could not make this past week’s labour shit up. It is satire that rights itself!”

            should be:

            You could not make this past week’s labour shit up. It is satire that writes itself!

            Fucking typos!!! Sorry.


          • Cat says:

            I find that anger does that to one’s fingers! They lag behind the brain too.


          • The Blur Effect says:

            Bring our Tony back and help save an endangered species!


      • 136
        Geoff, England says:

        They say that the best socialists are those who are rich enough to be one.

        This reminds me that one of my old classmates from 30-odd years ago ran unsuccessfully for Labour in last year’s general election. I remember him being a bit of a prat, but I don’t remember him being a bigoted prat. The bgotry must be something he picked up when he went to uni and fell in with all the other Liebore nazis.


      • 164
        Desperate Dan says:

        The Holland Park Avenue house is only Tony Benn’s £multi-million pied-a-terre for when he’s up in town. He spends most of his time these days on his ancestral Norfolk estate. He might have given up his title but he didn’t give up the trappings.


      • 201
        Anonymous says:

        ‘Isn’t life great when you are wealthy enough to be a socialist!’ An excellent comment if I may say, top drawer, wish I had thought of that one. George Haley. Bad Homburg Germany.


    • 27
      Anonymous says:

      What the boy said was true. Also having a safety net lets people to take risk and invest.


      • 39
        Tax Payer says:

        We’re talking about the eternal problem with the Left – hypocrisy


        • 60
          Rog. says:

          The eternal problem of the Left:

          Lying through their teeth, and blaming everybody else for the shitstorm they inevitably create.


          • Jennifer's Ear says:

            Rory, Rory, tell us a story
            Rory, Rory, tell us like it is


          • NooLieBore in the making says:

            yep – like Tone, Gordon, Balls, Footsy, Mandlescum, – and all the other lying, cheating, two-timing for-tongued slimey fuckers, – he’s as a good an apprentice as any to join the LyingLefty gits.


        • 71
          Mike Litorus says:

          From that picture, the eternal problem looks like nonces…


      • 57
        bollox detective says:

        What a load of hoary bollox. It turns people into depressed dependents.
        Americans have much less safety net and are far more enterprising (more personal risks and sacrifice). Same in Hong Kong, Singapore etc.


      • 91
        Anonymous says:

        EMA isn’t a safety net.

        If it’s a safety net you are after, then frankly you want to get rid of most of the current state.


        • 174
          M says:

          EMAs were bribes to kids who don’t know any better .


          • Copy and paste says:

            EMA was a way of distributing the state’s money (aka your taxes) to video game shops, record stores and McDonalds. That was all the kids I taught used the free cash for. And no, they never bought a book or a pen with it. To them it was just play money.


      • 117
        it's gordons fault says:

        go back to being a troll you labour stooge


      • 130
        misterned says:

        £1600 pounds per WEEK in housing benefit is NOT a fucking safety net! It is taking the piss out of the tax-payer!


      • 143
        Marmite says:

        Have you sought p s y c h i a t r i c help yet anonymous? Doesn’t sound like it to me.


    • 43
      Tax Payer says:

      Didn’t Blair also claim to have stowed away on a flight to the Caribbean?

      Happens all the time down our way.


    • 46
      iWatering Lies says:

      Another feral chav.


    • 58
      Born to be a champagne socialist says:

      I Liar, a blagger and born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Top Labour material.


    • 87
      Anonymous says:

      They are beyond parody. I suppose taking to lying like a duck to water makes him highly qualified for a future with labour.


    • 116
      Spacker Brown says:

      Has Ed Nauseam been hanging round schoolyards with a bag of Werthers Originals, or what?


    • 184
      Harry Enfield says:

      Thank you for the new character.


  2. 2
    RusbridgerFan says:

    Labour keeps forgetting: Social mobility means down as well as up.


    • 81
      Juggler says:

      He’s got to be a Tory plant designed to cause maximum humiliation during the conference, no?

      He went to private school then his dad’s business collapsed in Labour’s recession.


      • 90
        The Observer says:

        The problem with Labour is that they seem to believe that the media is still in the 20th century, forgetting that their double standards can be checked and rectified with the minimum of fuss using the internet and social information systems.


        • 139
          misterned says:

          Yeah, but labour have the BBC using their massive and overwhelming power and dominance in the media marketplace (a level of dominance that Murdoch can only dream of BTW) to run a continuous defence for them so they do not need to do ‘reality’ do they?


      • 157
        Cat says:

        No. He’s just a thick little tw@t with no sense of irony and delusions of adequacy.


        • 168
          Vorian says:

          But of course. The Labour “leader” is an undeserving rich kid. What else would one expect their supporters to be?


  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Say what you like about Tony, at least he won 3 elections.

    Why he is despised by the left i will never know?

    Unless it has dawned on them what socialisim looks like in reallity.


    • 93
      smoggie says:

      He’s despised by us righties as well.


    • 129
      Senryu of Spam says:

      Self-loathing lefties
      Represent a paradox:
      The abnormal norm.


    • 141
      misterned says:

      That is what is so funny about today’s labour party. They hate Tony Bliar and they hate the tories. But they only won elections when Tony Blair was pretending to be a tory.

      Do any of them realise that when Gordon was finally forced (by the constitution) to hold an election, his labour party won a million fewer votes than John Major’s worst defeat?


      • 147
        Mike hunt says:

        But lost far fewer seats due to their gerrymandering. No wonder they are squealing about the boundary changes and seat reductions.


  4. 4
    capt apollo says:

    as ever labour do not bother too much with truth, spin and deceit are far better tools incompetence is just the upshot


  5. 5
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Socialist twerp is a raving liar. Shock horror!


  6. 6
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Will the BBC be reporting this? Hmmmmm…… I think I can guess!


    • 11
      The BBC's unofficial spokesperson says:

      Were any Tories or Andy Coulson involved in anything bad?
      There is no story here.

      Thank you for your money.


      • 73
        BBC's Official Spokesdroid says:

        We cannot interrupt our rolling 24-hour coverage of our conference with mere hearsay about an underprivileged child victim of Thatcher.

        Tune in later for Today’s analysis of just how great Miliband is.


        • 140
          The BBC's unofficial spokesperson says:

          We’re doing one too only with the twist that Thatcher is responsible for the recent hurricanes.
          This is to be narrated by Jeremy Hardy as it was thought Neil Kinnock may be too right wing for our tastes.

          This is what the license payers want – conformity.. and we give it to them..


    • 21
      Charles Flaccidwidger says:

      Astonished! Just seen Rick Nobinson asking Ed Miliband some fairly awkward questions. Of course, the Odd One didn’t actually answer them and Nobinson didn’t folow up but still….


  7. 7

    “When his old man went bust Rory experienced some social mobility moving from his private school to a grammar school.”

    Sounds like a briefcase wanker (Inbetweeners).


  8. 8
    smoggie says:

    Wasn’t William Hague a “conference darling” once?


  9. 9
    Andrew Efiong says:

    You’ve flushed him out and have got Labour on the run once again Guido, nice one!


  10. 10
    Robert Catesby says:

    I work my nuts off to pay very high levels of tax. My money then gets given to the son of a millionnaire, who uses my money to buy an Ipad. He then stands on a conference platform to tell me how evil I am.

    Rory, give me my fucking Ipad back you ungrateful little shit.


  11. 12
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Deriving one’s power base from leading the mob doesn’t of course mean you want to live like them. Diane Abbott and the private education of her offspiring is a shining example


  12. 13
    Dudley Zoo says:

    It is lying weasel lefties who are fucking this country with their constant stream of horseshit lies


  13. 14
    AnotherAnon. says:


  14. 16
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    He will probarly get more coverage than Ed Miliband.


    • 51
      Handycock, No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

      But certainly not more than me.


      • 123
        Former Naval Person says:

        Just read the Azerbaijan interview. It is inconceivable that Handycock used some of those words. He must have been quoting from a Press Release – probably given to him by his Russian friends. But at least we now know where he has been – he certainly hasn’t been around his constituency much all summer. Looking forward to news of his exploits with the girls out there.


  15. 18
  16. 19
    Stavros says:

    Ha! Exposed.

    Even Labour’s lies can’t stand up for more than a few hours.


  17. 20
    Champagne socialism says:

    A fake, a liar and an actor. He fits perfectly into Labour. Innit?


  18. 22
    Ha hah! says:

    Was this little shit’s father running one of those ‘good’ or ‘bad’ businesses when it went bust under Labour?


  19. 23
    Four Yorkshire Men says:

    ..I used to get up five minutes before I went to bed…etc etc


  20. 24
    Anonymous says:

    Guido- you’ll find more about Rory’s father’s line of business behind the Times’ paywall. ‘Jonathan Weal’ is the name you are looking for. 7th August.

    “Jonathan Weal, 53, then property developer with homes woth an estimated 2.5m now, unemployed, homeless, burdened with 300k mortgage debt, seperated from wife & living apart from his children”

    Is this the sort of business (property speculation) Ed was warning us about yesterday?

    Pages 3 and 4 of this thread:


  21. 25
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The picture at the top. Are they both in the same class at school? Or is Rory in the year above Ed.


  22. 26
    Rhonddablue says:

    Let’s face it, if you’re 16 and you’d prefer to be talking to the Labour Party Conference than trying to shag Wing Attack on the netball team, you’re probably a bit of a tosser.


  23. 30
    Raving Loon says:

    I’m tired of people calling Red Ed a socialist…he’s clearly a communist.


  24. 33
    It's wrong to tempt young inexperienced boys with mature Wimmin says:

    HaPerson had him for an hour in her room yet?

    Can he walk?

    Is he sore?


  25. 35
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    The little tw*t appears to be a complete fraud so one presumes he is on the Blair/Mandelson wing of the party.


  26. 37
    Predatory business as usual says:

    His father Jonathan Weal was in an article in the sunday times on the 7th August this year. Perhaps Red Ed might like to comment on his line of work-predatory speculation?


  27. 38
    Cynic says:

    Hes clearly not very bright. the Brown / Balls bust destroys his father’s business so he votes Labour


  28. 40
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Did anyone catch the interview between Andy Burnham and Brillo, When Brillo challenged him to name asset strippers and bad hedge funds?


    • 86
      smoggie says:

      Yeah, I saw the opening and switched off fairly quickly. Anyhow here’s how it started…

      Hi I’m Andy Burnham and today I want to introduce to you a fantastic new foundation. It’s called Second Chance by Max Fuctor and it is a foundation breakthrough.

      As a make-up artist I get sent heaps and heaps of make-up products but when you receive a product with a new technology it’s even better. This product lightens the darkness under your eyes, evens out blemishes, gives a beautiful radiance to your skin and the trick is it is ‘virtually undetectable’ and a very beautiful product. I want to show this to you and show you how easy it is to obtain a lovely natural skin.

      [Andy is holding the Second Chance Foundation bottle]

      I have got a gorgeous model here, Breelo. All very natural today and I am going to demonstrate how fantastic and easy it is to create such a very natural skin that is basically undetectable.

      [Andy and the model are in focus]

      A lot of you have been asking on the Max Fuctor Facebook Page on how to get the right foundation colour. So I am going to take Breelo to the make-up area and show you step-by-step how to get the right foundation colour for your skin.

      [Andy and Breelo get up and walk to the make-up area]

      *reaches for the remote*


    • 113
      Traditionalist says:

      Yep. Usual Burnham – avoiding the question, obfuscation and sheer bullshit. Followed by exactly the same from Byrne.


  29. 42
    lola says:

    In Miss Lola’s skule she didn’t get any ema as me and Mrs Lola earn slightly too much. But pretty well all of her classmates did – and went on holidays to various exotic locations – including Machu Pichu – that us taxpaying numpties could not afford. So, AFAIAC they can can stuff EMA right now. It just buys toys for scroungers.


  30. 45
    Steve Miliband says:

    At least he can deliver a decent speech


  31. 47
    wiggy says:

    Where exactly is the lie here? He was rich and got a rude awakening cos they went bust. That made him appreciate welfare. Haven’t you noticed that it’s not been a party aimed at the working classes since the 90s?


  32. 48
    • 53
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Now how would a Labour member know who was in the audience of a “Unbiased” show.

      Who showed him the list?


      • 76
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        Bloody good question Billy.

        I think that needs a bit of digging into Guido.


      • 103
        The Observer says:

        Could be only the panel members.
        Labour are not noted for their diction or spelling a la Prescott.


        • 152
          Hugh Janus says:

          How hard can it be to use ‘panel’ or ‘audience’?? Not easy to mix up, I suggest. An explanation is required – but it is most unlikely to be the right one.


  33. 49
    John Micklethwaite says:

    I wish my kids could go to a private school. State comprehensives are all awful.


  34. 50
    wotson says:

    nOO liabour is full of fakers: Broon , Bliar , Mandy etc


  35. 54
    ?? says:

    Rory? So is he Irish or Scotlandish?


  36. 56
    Sir William Waad says:

    So he is a member of the fire-extinguisher-dropping, Cenotaph-desecrating class of posh leftie layabouts?


  37. 61
    Desperate Dan says:

    Ed is a bargain basement buy-one-get-one-free package. Today’s special offer is wall-to-wall Welsh Windbag.


  38. 67
    Pwoperty Developer says:

    House prices always go up under Labour!


  39. 74
    Fire up the Quattro says:

    Who put him up to it? Cannot believe it was on his own initiative.


  40. 75
    Juggler says:

    Stone me! Brown tanks the economy, his dad’s business goes to the wall and he turns up at a Labour conference to say thanks for social security.

    Stockholm Syndrome or what!


  41. 78
    Not surprised says:

    All neatly laid out – posh school, bag-carrier in his Gap Yah, competitive university, SpAd, MP, Cabinet, PM, Consultant!!

    Twat!….and not yet old enough to vote!


    • 102
      You'd have to have a heart of stone NOT to laugh at this kid's story says:

      Didn’t McTwat want to lower voting age to 16…now we know why with little scalliwags like young Rory only too ready to play to the media with his faux sob story of his poor family background…….quite right too let’s face it a million quid goes nowhere these days !!!!


  42. 79
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    What is Ed Milibands view on Carlos Tevez going on strike and what advice would he give Manchester City?


  43. 82
    Luciana Berger says:

    What’s wrong with that? All of us working class people go to Private School.


  44. 85
    Windfarm Cam and his Global watsit Scam says:

    I say!!

    D’you reckon he could dashed well sell a few wind farms for me?

    Jolly super if he could . . . he’s got the makings of the kind of jolly chap I need to move the business forward!



  45. 88
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    EllieCumbo Sad when fellow lefties attack middle-class comrades like Rory Weal. Esp. students who presumably won’t see their own kids as class traitors 3 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

    Ho ho, Not going down to well with the left.


  46. 89
    Tony Bliar is a complete cunt says:

    dear oh dear oh dear………………..You couldnt make this shit up…………..


  47. 92
    When "Toenails" attacks you then it's all finished says:

    Ed being interviwed by Nick Robinson regarding his “attack” on energy companies….”Can you remind me Mr Miliband who was the Energy Secrtary before the last election ?” “As you know Nick that was me….but I DID tackle the Energy Companies…..” Yeah right Ed…fgive up….your specch has bombed !!! even your media supporters are ‘avin’ a laff at your expense…..


  48. 97
    Just another socialist hypocrite says:

    “I don’t much like any form of elite education”

    Mummy sent Rory to the grammar school. But now Rory, like Mr Ed, is own man. A speaker at a party conference, no less. I invite Rory to resign from his grammar
    school and sign up for the local shit comprehensive.

    Waiting for your announcement, Rory…


  49. 99
    It's a replay of the "War of Jennifers ear" says:



  50. 104
    Archie Wedderspoon says:

    This boy has to be a Tory plant. Even Milliband can’t be that naive. But then…..


    • 124
      Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs says:

      Gotta be one of the best “Black Ops” ever staged by Tory HQ if it is……and yes I think Ed and his advisors can be that naive……this conference is turning out to be a disaster of presentational failures…from this kid whose back story seems not quite as he painited it to booing the Labour leader who uniquely delivered three straight wins for Labour “live” on national TV….even the fates decided that Ed wasn’t worth listening too and put gremlins into the system so the transmission link went down mid way through his speech.

      Ed’s Speech is getting panned by every commentatot left or right….with shadow ministers struggling to defend it……oh dear…oh dear


      • 149
        misterned says:

        Indeed, when they (and certain BBC commentators) have to say, “He never said that, well yes… yes he did, they are the words he used, but that is not what he meant. What he REALLY meant was….”

        Then you know he’s fucked!

        And he spent two weeks working with his inner team, arguing about wording and certain words in order that his speech be clear and unambiguous too.


      • 177
        Satellite set alight says:

        Did them thar gremlins be wearing t-shirts with Sky Tech Team on ‘em? Remember just who owns the satellites and who has been shat upon from a great height over the past few weeks. Oops, there goes that blasted fuse again!


  51. 108
    Observer says:

    As Guido says, the boy is a bit like Blair (public school, mock Estuary English and a bit of an actor). However, the career of Jeffrey Archer may also come to mind.


  52. 118
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:—just-the-jokes



  53. 120
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Just listened to Brillo interviewing John Denham on the Daily Politics.
    The conclusion I draw is that Labour is a party built on sand.


  54. 121
    dr. sipp says:

    well done mr blair—NICE PLANT


  55. 122
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Send the two-faced little shit down a mine.


    • 145

      Bugger off. I wouldn’t want that little shite anywhere near anything potentially dangerous. Let him kill himself by all means, but there’s no reason he should take decent hardworking miners with him.


  56. 128
    Staffy says:

    Lets play Bargain Hunt


  57. 130
    Anonymous says:

    ‘I don’t much like any form of elite education’…then we can fully expect you to leave the grammar school place to someone who really wants it & head off to your local comp then? No? Thought not.


  58. 134
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    The words ‘Brewery’ and ‘Piss Up’ spring to mind.


  59. 138
    Oink says:

    Crikey at this rate the young ‘uns will have to eat gravy from Tesco Value rather than Bisto. Egad.


  60. 142

    Bet he gets his head flushed down the bogs on a regular basis.

    He certainly looks the type.


  61. 146
    Privately Educated Socially deprived child. says:

    Schools give pencils out for free, yer fucking dick head.


  62. 148
    The Truth says:

    Child, the truth is that your dad’s “Property Empire” was built upon years of borrowing to people with less than adequate satisfactory credit records. This gave Labour “sustainable” growth for several years, knowing full well that the asset bubble would burst just as they were leaving office.

    As a result of cyclical economics, your house of cards came crashing down.

    But luckily, you have a friend in wishing to re-inflate said bubble.

    Luciana Berger: To ask the Chancellor of the Exchequer if he will bring forward proposals to make entrepreneurs’ relief from capital gains tax available to those who rent out property in the private rented sector. [10589]

    Mr Gauke: The Government believe that the current definition of entrepreneurs’ relief accurately targets entrepreneurial business activity, offering a reduced capital gains tax rate to the vast majority of small business owners and material investors. Expanding the relief to cover those renting out property would not meet the policy objective.


    • 153
      misterned says:

      Common sense from Mr Gauke. The tories learned the hard way about the consequences of inflating the housing bubble in the late 1980’s early 1990s. Labour clearly did not!


  63. 162
    Sir Bufton Tufton says:

    Typical leftie behaviour – cheating and playing dirty. Such losers.


  64. 175
    Concerned Parent says:

    I wouldn’t let that shifty weirdo anywhere near my kids. Look at that creepy look in his eyes.


  65. 176
    Rory the Wankst@in says:

    Rip the blubbing fake a new arsehole.


  66. 178
    Observer says:

    In the picture, one looks like an immature teenager who is yet to have a proper job in the real world. The other is Rory Weal.


  67. 180
    Talk talk says:

    Picture shows boy with hand on young man’s shoulder.


  68. 183
    Deborah says:

    And who wrote the young Rory’s speech – I bet it wasn’t him.


  69. 188
    James says:

    wow, new low for you surely Guido? Attacking 16 year old kids?

    So what if his parents were rich and gambled their money away in a failed business? Is this something we should punish children for? Some of you really need to have a look at yourselves.


  70. 192
    Stu says:

    Rory you useless little labourite toady. You are no William Hague.


    • 196
      Jimmy says:

      Let’s hope so. It would be sad to think of him becoming a comically ineffective opposition leader before settling down to a career as errand boy to a dodgy offshore banker.


  71. 195
    Jimmy says:

    I suppose if you’re a middle aged man desperately trying to stoke the embers of a long forgotten feud with a minor ex-bag carrier, then watching a teenager addressing a major party conference must be a real kicker.


  72. 197
    Hugh Mann says:

    For the academic year 2011/2012 the fees are:

    Per term

    Term Annual
    Nursery £3,054 (including lunch) £9,162
    Pre-Preparatory £3,345 (including lunch) £10,035
    Preparatory £3,546 (excluding lunch) £10,638
    Senior School £4,371 (excluding lunch) £13,113


  73. 199
    Cake Thief says:

    16 years old and the little shit is telling me what I owe him. The World owes you nothing.


  74. 200
    SonofBoudicca says:

    Considering that lefty Weal’s father was a property developer, which really means speculator, is that the kind of business Ed supports, or regards as evil?


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