September 28th, 2011

#AskEdM III – Conference Special

It seems our Ed is a glutton for punishment. He’s doing yet another Ask Ed event at 5.30 on Twitter. As ever Guido is making it easy for you to take part, all you have to do is click the box above and you are away. After his conference speech crashed and burned, the rumour doing the rounds is that he wrote it himself – hence why it was so terrible.

Click and ask him to explain…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Who did you Nokia after learning that there was a Bl’ckout of parts of your speech?

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    what advice did Derek draper give Tom Baldwin at the Labour conference and did you find it helpful?

  3. 3
    Lord Lavender et al. says:

    Death or Mau Mau?

  4. 4
    JH says:

    I think it should be ‘click the box BELOW’ Guido.

    Still happy to help, despite my comments being mo-dd-ed to f*ck.

  5. 5

    Ed, I wouldn’t bother to ask you the time of day, because you’d lie and blame the Torys/Coalition/Global Banking crisis…anything than tell me it was 4.30pm.

  6. 6
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed, Daddy or Chips?

  7. 7
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Have you got plans in place for what you are going to when Labour get slaughtered at the next General Election?

  8. 8
    Lord Mandelson and Mr Blair says:

    Are we predators Eddy ?

    After all we did to take you our of Primrose Hill obscurity ?

  9. 9
    Senryu of Spam says:

    ‘Click on box above’
    just opens a jpg –
    Best to click BELOW

  10. 10
    Ewanme says:

    Ed , darlin x

    Does you feel outta ur depth an if not why not ??

    E x .

  11. 11
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Wapping insiders tell me News Int is recruiting 36 Retail Reps for a Sun on Sunday launch in Jan 2012

  12. 12
    Empty Ed, still loved by Polly says:

    Of course I wote my speech myswelf Gudio

    Who do you think I am ?

    A sixth former ?

    I am made of Sugar and Soft Shit you know

    It appeals to the Labour Party now that our heroes are all predators

  13. 13
    Bogeyman says:

    I note in the previous thread that Labour people were cracking bottles of champagne at their conference.

    Would this be they same Labour people who poured scorn on Tories for doing so at their conference – with one important difference: No-one did drink bubbly at the Tory bash, at least not in the open. They were under orders NOT to, knowing that the chronically spiteful and envious socialists would make a big deal of it.

  14. 14
    Lord and Lady Kinnochios of sheep fame says:

    We have always been producers

    Socialist producers you must understand

    As Marx said we should

    Endless paper and rubbish

    But we produced Guido

    So we deserve our £10 million pension pot paid by Europa (which of course is b u s t)

    We never took one penny from the taxpayer of Britain

  15. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Could you ask on my behalf if under his leadership and elected to government, would they offer the people of the United Kingdom a referendum on membership of the EU and would respect the peoples say?

  16. 16
    Ask Ed says:

    Are Lord Mandelson and Mr Blair the biggest predators you can cite in Britain ?

  17. 17
    Jack says:

    And what about the rest of the New Labour Ermin Vermin, convicted or not ?

  18. 18
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed, Is it true you suffer from premuture ejaculation?

  19. 19
    Ask Ed says:

    Please define the difference between a producer and a predator ?

    And your wonderful example of Rose, now with Rothschilds…Producer or predator..or both ?:


  20. 20
    Gordon says:


  21. 21
    Empty Ed lashed to his infantile mast says:

    I use the Marxist dialectic

    It simply cannot be both…

  22. 22
    Influence Peddlar Blair running out of influence to peddle says:

    I don’t think you have a mast left Eddy

    Sad but true

  23. 23
    Edward Clan MacMilitwit says:

    If he comes to Scotland he will get a bloody new nose job for free. His Scotland is irrelevant speech did not go down well.

  24. 24
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed, do you know why those on the right hope you stay till the genral election?

  25. 25
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    A quick look reveals about 85% are not from Labour supporters. Some are quite funny.

  26. 26
    Bert says:

    Ed, why are you such an oddball…?

  27. 27
    Babba Cheech MP says:

    A horse is a horse, of course of course,
    and no one can talk to a horse of course,
    that is of course, unless the horse,
    Is the famous Mister Ed!

    Go right to the source and ask the horse.
    He’ll give you the answer that you’ll endorse.
    He’s always on a steady course.
    Talk to Mister Ed.

    People yak-it-ti-yak a streak
    and waste your time of day,
    but Mister Ed will never speak,
    unless he has something to say…

    A horse is a horse, of course of course,
    And this one will talk ’til his voice is hoarse.
    You never heard of a talking horse?
    Well, listen to this…

    I am Mister Ed

  28. 28
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Do you believe in Santa Claus?

  29. 29
    Gooey Blob says:

    Labour’s solutions always require money. Someone else’s money. That’s why, in an era when money is in short supply, they will struggle to find answers to the problems of the day.

  30. 30
    not a machine says:

    my question “which preditory companies do you blame for the loss of 1.2mn manufacturing jobs during 13 years of labour government and ergo where did all the money go, and is the resultant scenario now licence for the new non working class to call it the new generation judas party”

    (not on twitter but gratis for anyone stuck for a question)

  31. 31
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    SimonG_1 profile

    SimonG_1 #AskEdM – If Gordon Brown is a 10 and David Miliband is a 0 – how nuts are you? 3 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  32. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    What is the PIN number for your voicemail?

  33. 33
    not a machine says:

    I dont know if larry would prefer death by meaow meaow :)

  34. 34
    I don't need no doctor says:

    First question is a plant, so what’s the point.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    First question clearly a plant.

  36. 36
    When We Were Very Young says:

    Dear Eyore

    Is it true that two Eds are better than one??

    Is it also true that you wrote THIS wiv my FREEND Winnie the Pooh LiKe Yoo did Wiv yoor speacH?

    Signed ChrIstOpher RobiN

    and when You Grows Up wILL Yoo BEE Prime Ministery??

  37. 37
    not a machine says:

    you can put Barroso at 0 as well , todays finance trans tax is pretty much the last straw spouted by his fascist approach , if the EU took a haircut it would save more ? , in the end are we not just paying for EU fiscal negligence ?? at red ponzi central

  38. 38
    not a machine says:

    you should write your conference speech with your own words :)

  39. 39
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Has Red Len approved your shadow cabnait reshuffle yet?

  40. 40
    999 says:

    Emergency, emergency – major car crash taking place in Liverpool.

  41. 41
    nell says:

    I think a good question would be ‘ill you sack bullyballs and make yvette your shadow chancellor?’

    It is what he should do if he’s serious about forming a better cabinet.

    Question is does he have the backbone to do it?

  42. 42
    nell says:

    tsk! “will “

  43. 43
    Juggler says:

    What’s the difference between a sack of shit and Ed Miliband? Scientists don’t have an answer yet.

    The guy is a loser like Gordon Brown.

  44. 44
    not a machine says:

    when you were energy minister ,which company did you think was the most preditory and did they give you any money

  45. 45
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    When are you going to clean up your party and politics? Corruption pervades all corners of Westminster when are you going to get an independent review of MPs pay, pension, expenses, lobbying and second jobs??

    Have you thoroughly scrutinised your strategist Mr Khan from all improper acts or allegations relating to him from the expense scandal?? What qualities did he have that made him stand out from the crowd?

    Did Mr Baldwin give you advice which surgeon to consult for your nose job as I understand a lot of Coke heads need a nose job to repair their septum? Is there anything you wish to declare on this point??

    You are against predatory companies/actions, what have you done to initiate an investigation against Tony Blair’s company TBA to make sure there is not a conflict of interest, it does not compromise his former role by using knowledge and contacts gained as PM and that he pays all his tax in the UK? Have you made any investigation about Blair’s expenses?? Burnham was wittering on about how this standard of yours applies to MPs as well. Off you go son, don’t let us stop your quest.

    What have you done to make sure the BBC is an impartial broadcaster and acts within its constitution and does not have an unfair advantage over other media companies??

  46. 46
  47. 47
    AnotherAnon. says:

  48. 48
    Sir William Waad says:

    You don’t think it’s really Ed Moribund answering the questions???

  49. 49
    Jasper Carrott says:

    Premature? Not from our point of view it isn’t.

  50. 50
    AnotherAnon. says:

  51. 51
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    What makes you qualified to lead the country?

  52. 52
    AnotherAnon. says:

  53. 53
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed Miliband “We live in a globalised world”. *Facepalm. 4 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  54. 54
    Gooey Blob says:

    A triffid, I hope.

  55. 55
    Edward. says:

    I [if I was signed up to Twitter] would say to twonk two – in the Thunderer, Finklestein calls you a gimp [in so many words] and in a comparison with Hague, says you’re [like Mr. Vague] dead meat walking.
    The public have made up their minds and long ago, you’re only Labour interim leader, because the unions think you are more gullible than your kid brother.

    The great British public will also remember, that you and your ‘team’ of AGW eco-loons [Bryony Worthington to name one] were responsible for the Climate Change ACT – thus you confirmed your feebleminded, crass populist ‘greenness’, therefore: to think of yourself as a future PM – is pure fantasy on your part twonk two.

    And, after yesterday’s saphead drivelling, you won’t be around long.

  56. 56
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Kevin_Maguire profile

    Kevin_Maguire Ed Miliband coping heroically with tricky questions from voters but wonder if his faith in democracy is strained about 1 minute ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  57. 57
    the last quango in paris says:

    Dear God where did they find this lot from? I dont suppose they could find a ballot paper let alone put their mark.

  58. 58
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Ed who?

  59. 59
    AnotherAnon. says:

  60. 60
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Hello digger

  61. 61
    AnotherAnon. says:

  62. 62
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    MichaelWhite #askedm Miliband right not to guarantee pensions to a questioner who promptly walks out. Obviously a Tweating type ! 3 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  63. 63
    Gooey Blob says:

    He’s not a wardrobe. A wardrobe wouldn’t look out-of-place standing next to a cabinet.

  64. 64
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    MichaelLCrick Huhne: Liberals have common tradition with Labour Party of fighting for social reform 3 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  65. 65

    Q1. Ed. How do you spell policy?

    If the answer to Q1. is correct, then

    Q2. When are you going to get some?

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    + a lot more than that. Normally, the Tories sort the ecomony out. They get back in and fk up again. Cameron’s a twat as well, so there’s gonna me no kitty next time.

  67. 67
    Mornington Crescent says:

    O/T have you seen the runners and riders for the Oirish presidentials? A warbler, a terrorist and a brown-hatter activist. FFS, is this politics of the X-Factor?

  68. 68
    Mornington Crescent says:

    OR the X-Factor…

  69. 69
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    If you stand for equality what is your policy to address the shocking low rates of men reporting being raped (Straight and Gay)?

  70. 70
  71. 71
    A Tory Troll says:

    I say chaps!

    Come on now – really bat for Dave!! He’s got a Confy next week, – and he’s all we’ve got!

    Not much I know, – but we’ve got to do the best we can!

    Desperate times, – what!

  72. 72
    dick suckers anonymous says:

    Have you ever seen Derek Draper and Johann Hari in the same room together?

  73. 73
  74. 74
    Flatulent Veteran says:

    Could you please explain why all you wealthy, privileged, expensively educated Oxford PPE graduates do not seem to have discovered that the voters of this country believe you all to be dishonest, self obsessed hypocrites?

    Why do you feel that you have the right to pass moral judgement on young people who smash windows and nick tellies and trainers when Labour MPs, such as Jackie Smith, McNulty and McShane have, in the eyes of most of us, made themselves wealthy by fraud and theft?

    What are your plans to rebuild trust in a political class that is seen, by most ordinary folk, as dishonest, arrogant and greedy?

  75. 75
    Furniture Man says:

    A wardrobe has some use…

  76. 76
    Another Engineer says:

    Did Polly put the kettle on again?

  77. 77
    Steve says:

    So who just cut the feed again? Someone really doesnt like Ed

  78. 78
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    blondieblu2 Bbc Parliament is off in middle of Ed q&a session #fail bbc! 2 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

    Ed cut off again?????

  79. 79
    Been out and about says:

    Rusty Dave the warmonger will get exactly what he what he deserves, thats a great big zero, blue Labour can go to hell, just give us a chance to to remind him with a vote, I think I would prefer to vote for the unmentionables than these so called Conservatives, yes I know they a nutters but at least they will be less likely to do damage as they will be too busy kicking the crap out of themselves

  80. 80
    Historian says:

    To paraphrase the famous expression of Talleyrand about Napoleon

    This Labour Leader is a pile of inconsequential shit in a silk stocking

  81. 81
    A real champagne Charlie living in Monte Carlo his millions says:


    Is there a another Champagne Party this evening among the Labour predators ?

    I do love hearing about these wannabe hasbeens (under the age of 40!)

  82. 82
    nell says:

    Well said!

  83. 83
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Kevin_Maguire profile

    Kevin_Maguire Memo to Ed Mili: More Q&As, fewer speeches. Dealing with unexpected from voters played to strengths of decency, reasonableness 6 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  84. 84
    The Rt. Revd. Phoney B£iar, two-faced git and liar, emoting and with stupid grin says:


    As you know, – I am very Very VERY RICH!

    And as you know, – I owe it all to NooLieBore!

    But as for giving any money back – forget it brother!

    And I think the same goes for John-John and for Peter!

    Anyway, – must go, – I’ve got a new Rich Sham-Pain Socialist who wants to join my bank !


  85. 85
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    MichaelLCrick profile

    MichaelLCrick Denham: new individual electoral registration rules are “a game-changer”, maybe worse for Labour than new boundaries, could lose 10m voters 4 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

    Heres hoping.

  86. 86
    Bogeyman says:

    Own up. You’re the guy who discovered that neutrinos can travel faster than light. Right?

    Only someone with such a brilliant mind could come up with a gag like that.

  87. 87
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Free schools will take us back to the 50s (Andy Burham)

    Is this good or bad?

  88. 88
    Champagne socialism says:

  89. 89
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    stellacreasy profile

    stellacreasy RT @MrHarryCole: Can’t take anymore of this. Home time.< surely haircut time….;-) 6 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  90. 90
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Has Neo a fan?

  91. 91
    Luciana I'm a Maserati says:

    Give me job Eddy

    We are of the same Ilk you know

    I could replace Lenin Lewis (also of the samme Ilk)

  92. 92
    M says:

    If labour produced a car it would constantly steer to the left
    Giving it any power would be dangerous .
    Fixing it would be a priority

  93. 93
    Honest Citizen says:

    Do fuck off you cheap influence peddlar and war criminal

    Go and live with the heiresses in I s r a e l whose company you love

    Good riddance

  94. 94
    Poor Labour Millionaire Lord says:

    It’scalled Labour poverty

    Only the best for us

    Just look at Blair and Mandelson (and me in Geneva) !

  95. 95
    Mikey Smithson says:

    I was having a 99 earlier. It started out as a 69 but the wife’s got a weak bowel

  96. 96
    Fred the Shred ( knighted by Gordon Brown ) says:

    From prawn cocktail offensive to punishing predator companies !! ?

  97. 97
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( member in absentia ) says:

    This is no time for a nobhead novice !!!

  98. 98
    Dave Depraved says:

    That the spirit sir

  99. 99
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    This has just confirmed David Cameron as a one term Prime Minister !!

    The YouGov daily poll overnight saw an opening of the gap between Labour and the Tories with shares of CON 37%: LAB 43%: LD 8%. The Labour 43% is only two points below the party’s post-general election high.

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    He is the only leader of a major party who said he didn’t use illegal drugs. Cameron and Clegg refused to answer.

  101. 101
    Dave Depraved says:

    FFS – Never did learn to type with my fingers.

  102. 102
    Another Engineer says:

    OK, OK. No need for that. Billy posts far worse.

    Anyway, neutrinos do not travel faster than light. I’d stake Guido’s house on it. GPS is screwed up in some way. That might be an interesting way, but nonetheless…

    The neutrinos from supernova 2011fe did not arrive 3 years early as CERN might predict, but at a time consistent with current theory.

  103. 103
    It's a five year Test Match says:

    Long way to go, Billy.

  104. 104
    Lou Scannon says:

    Crushing it would be the only solution.

  105. 105
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Far cheaper to declare it Beyond Economic Repair, get what you can as scrap value and design a new conveyance from the tyres up.

  106. 106
  107. 107
    Copy and paste says:

    A wardrobe has coat hangers, not hangers-on

  108. 108
    The Paragnostic says:

    Castor beans would be better – a bit of ricin might save all of us the worry of Shylock Jr ever becoming PM.

  109. 109
    Handycock says:

    Ed my old chum.

    How’s my membership application cuming along?

  110. 110
    Dave Figgley says:

    Ha ha, son. They had a whole range of motors in the seventies. It was called BL, mate.
    If you’ve never had the thrill of trying to increase your Morris Marina’s breaking potential by planting both feet on the road through the hole in the floor pan, you just haven’t lived, geezer.

  111. 111
    The Paragnostic says:

    Remember, Billy – it was flat (apart from the sunny uplands of Neues Arbeit) until Ed proved that it was round and hence globalised. No longer are we in danger of sailing off the edge if we venture too far to the left, and this is entirely due to the triumphs of 13 years of leadership by ‘great men’ (©Milliband Minor).

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    Oh, now we get the ‘wrong type of neutrino’ gig do we? Data changes, and then the theory eventually has to fit the data, ie not like climate change science where the data has to fit the theory. Fuck off with your new age voodoo science you fucking Luddite.

  113. 113
    annette curton says:

    Ed Schwarzenegger smears himself all over with mud at Labour party conference.

  114. 114
    mummy neo says:


  115. 115
    CT says:

    Who are you going to sack for their incompetence in dreaming up, signing up and indoctrinating poor little rich boy Weal as a Labour sock-puppet without ever imagining that the press would follow up on his heartbreaking tale of woe?

    Or perhaps you dreamed that one up yourself? I think we should be told.

  116. 116
    where's the fucking link? says:

    Billy, why don’t you just come out of the closet and get a tweet account, FFS?

  117. 117
    The Paragnostic says:

    Very bad for Andy – the wearing of eyeliner was looked upon with deep suspicion back then!

  118. 118
    smooth-tongued Edth sayth says:

    That’ll be a qwidth pleeth -

  119. 119
    It can't be - can it???? says:

    Not my old mate – neo-endogenouth ballth ith it?

  120. 120
    annette curton says:

    A very strange and eerie reprise of William Hague also aged 16 at a Conservative party conference, that boy will go far.

  121. 121
    Neo's dietician says:

    With huge self-discipline and some specialised solids we have managed to get him down from ‘obese’ to ‘cuddly’

  122. 122
    Mad Hattty says:

    Anyone wanna suck my prawn????

    C’mon boys!!!! youknoudo!!!!

  123. 123
    Another Engineer says:

    New age voodoo science? WTF? Like building stuff that works?

    Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. When the results are repeated using completely different methods then I’ll believe them. Until then, its filed under “Fleischmann–Pons”. It would be very interesting if true, though. After all, science is only “temporarily not wrong”.

    What neutrinos have to do with climate panic, I don’t know.

    Suspect IHBT.

  124. 124
    The Paragnostic says:

    Which is more likely?

    a) The calculated GPS locations of sender and receiver are out by less than a foot.
    b) The results of countless observations over the past century or so are wrong, and it’s time to overthrow the whole of physics.

    It may well be that b) is correct, and if so, the new theory will make for interesting reading, but given that the egregious Galloway spent a large part of his radio programme last week crowing about how this result vindicates his faith in the supernatural, it’s not a position that any sane person would like to see espoused.

    If faster than light communication is possible, does that mean we can beat the Illuminati?

  125. 125
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Q. Ed, are you and your shadow cabinet built on sand.

  126. 126
    David Minibanana says:

    Q. Why did Red Ed cross the road ??

    A. To sit on a different fence.

  127. 127
    The wizz says:

    Cobblers, no one knows what he stands for, if anything.

  128. 128
    Backwoodsman says:

    Ed, your latest flights of fantasy have about as much substance as when your predecessor claimed millions of low carbon jobs would be created. Discuss.

  129. 129
    The wizz says:

    he will probably change sides once his parents get a grip of him.

  130. 130
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The labour party is bulit on sand.
    Kinnock famously fell over while walking on the sand.
    Blair met Gadaffi in the desert sand.

  131. 131
    The wizz says:

    No we have been allotted quick sand to get to power much quicker.

  132. 132
  133. 133
    The wizz says:

    Yes, but but Dave is tied up with a load of sandals.

  134. 134
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Better than the quicksand under the labour party.

  135. 135
    Passing VJ says:

    Extremely tenuous link to something sand-related.

  136. 136
    Harriet Harman says:

    FFS what does it take to get a fucking real man around here. Ed’s a pathetic wimp and Blinky Balls is a disgusting Hunt. Tony, now he know how to treat a women.

  137. 137
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I will be Donald Duck

  138. 138
    Red Ed the Marxist shit says:

    Then I’ll be a plank of wood

  139. 139
    misterned says:

    He is just the type of dull fucker that never so much as toked on a spliff at uni.

  140. 140
    Your big brother David says:

    Who’s laughing now? You treacherous little Gromit looking Hunt.

  141. 141
    Bogeyman says:

    The trip would take a beam of light 2.4 milliseconds to complete, but after running the experiment for three years and timing the arrival of 15,000 neutrinos, the scientists discovered that the particles arrived at Gran Sasso sixty billionths of a second earlier, with an error margin of plus or minus 10 billionths of a second.

    (From the Grauniad, unfortunately)

    Some twerp in that same organ insisted that it meant the neutrino arrived before it left. This is in the same as saying an aircraft arrived before it left because it broke the sound barrier.

    That said, the neutrino could have overtaken light if it has no mass.

  142. 142
    Bogeyman says:

    “Oh, now we get the ‘wrong type of neutrino’ gig do we?”

    Still pissing myself. Thanks.

  143. 143
    I AGREE says:

  144. 144
    DAVE, Please do not support the fuckers says:

    I am just so fed up with this whole socialist Euro project. They said right at the start if a country failed that there would be NO bailout. And of course we are not bailing out Greece, we are bailing out the banks who have loaned to Greece.


  145. 145
    DAVE, Please do not support the fuckers says:

    Your censorship does not help either Guido.

  146. 146
    Gobsmacked of Leeds says:

    Full marks to Radio 4. From 20:00 to 21:00 this evening they totally called into question the European Project and speculated that right wing viewpoints may indeed be correct.

  147. 147
    No particular axe to grind says:

    That’s it I give up. The moderation on this blog has gone to pot.

  148. 148
    annette curton says:

    I’ll let you off with the tenuous,castles made of sand slips into the sea eventually, pure poetry how apposite as Jimi never got to see The introduction of the ‘Economic’ Union [sic].

  149. 149
    nell says:

    I daresay even pollytwaddle knows that labour at the moment is up a creek without a paddle.

    ed miliband is a very junior member of the labour tree. the unions elected him because they thought they could manipulate him to do their dirty work and they probably will.

    But he doesn’t have any electable gravitas and the rest of labour know it. He was the favoured son of a wealthy marxist (where did the monney come from – nobody knows!) he did a PPE at Oxford, moved on to make coffee for tony benn, ended up as an mp and favoured friend of gurninggordon and then as minister for anthropogenic global warming. He has never experienced real life anywhere or had a real job.

    So it’s an absolute joke that he now starts talking about predatory business!!

  150. 150
    nell says:

    I like Nigel Farage but I am disappointed that neither he nor any ukip member anywhere has managed to get themselves elected to the Houses of Parliament.

    Until they do they don’t have the legitimacy they need to trumpet their anti eu message.

  151. 151
    nell says:

    Look you need to deal with the mod you need to employ the same skills you’d use for a crossword!!

    Mostly guido’s automod doesn’t like the letters p e a – trying using @ for a and spacing for the rest.

  152. 152
    The Paragnostic says:

    Surely Sheik Yerbouti by the saintly Frank of Zappa would be apposite?

  153. 153
    nell says:

    I see that The Quartet have been asked by Palestine to sack bliar .

    Sounds reasonable to me – he’s made his £millions and done nothing of any note to help the middle east.

    they’ll need a replacement. I’ve not been a fan of gordon for any international financial job but he does have moral principles (although his compass got a bit mangled with being continually chucked at no.10’s walls).

    He might be a good choice to take over from bliar in the middle east.

  154. 154
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    Neutrinos have mass – norra, norra lot, chuck, but mass none the less. So how come we’re all still here? Or are we?

  155. 155
    annette curton says:

    I believe its called skunk these days.

  156. 156
    Anonymous says:

    So who of the three is a liar?

  157. 157
    Magnus Magnesium says:

    Red Ed (no, not you Blears).

    Why did you give your speech only once? You usually repeat everything 8 times so I’m puzzled.
    Where did you leave Schnorbitz?
    Will you go on strike with your TUC paymasters and will anyone notice?
    When is Dave back from his holidays?
    What is tougher – solving a Rubik cube or sacking Ed Bollox?

  158. 158
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    SKREEEEEEKK!!! (flop) (puke)

  159. 159
    stilyagi_air_corps says:

    Or even some Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra…

  160. 160
    Yeah, right.. says:

    Oh please, too much nostalgia.

    The Allegro Quartic steering wheel.

    The Marina fablon dash and canvas effect roof

    The Princess panel gaps through which one could insert one’s fist

    Red Robbo, rubbish unburied, dead piling up on the streets, jumpers for goal posts, small boys, mmm? mmm?

  161. 161
    Anonymous says:

    Knit one pearl one.

  162. 162
    Chopper Reid reckons Ed ought to.. says:

  163. 163
    AC1 says:

    PPE for the stupid and hard-working?

    The German General Staff, the story goes, used to divide army officers into four categories: the clever and lazy, the clever and hard-working, the stupid and lazy, and the stupid and hard- working. The best Generals, the Germans found, came from the clever and lazy; the best staff officers emerged from the clever and hard-working; the stupid and lazy could be made useful as regimental officers; but the stupid and hard-working were a menace, to be disposed of as soon as possible.
    “I divide officers into four classes — the clever, the lazy, the stupid and the industrious. Each officer possesses at least two of these qualities. Those who are clever and industrious are fitted for the high staff appointments. Use can be made of those who are stupid and lazy. The man who is clever and lazy is fit for the very highest commands. He has the temperament and the requisite nerves to deal with all situations. But whoever is stupid and industrious must be removed immediately.” – Attributed, circa 1933; General Baron Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord (1878-1943); German Chief of Army Command (1930-33)

  164. 164
    AC1 says:

    Not sure that’s possible as no-one has died from it (contrary to MSM “reporting”).

  165. 165
    The Paragnostic says:

    Legitimacy? Since when has Parliament not been infested with the illegitimate?

    Been reading Richard Ingrams’ biography of William Cobbett today (and went for a wee swallow in his dad’s old pub in Farnham, to boot) – it seems that little has changed in the last 200 years. Here’s Cobbett on the Poor Laws:

    “Until of late years, there was, amongst the poor, a horror o becoming chargeable to the parish. This feeling, which was almost universal, was the parent of industry, of care, o economy, of frugality and of early habits of labour amongst children… That men should possess spirit, that there should be any independence of mind… is impossible. Accordingly, whoever has had experience in such matters, must have observed, with deep regret, that instead of priding himself upon his little possessions, instead of decking out his children to the best advantage, instead of laying up in store the trifling surplus of the harvest, the labourer now, in but too many instances, takes care to spend all as fast as he gets it, makes himself as poor as he can and uses all the art that he is master of to cause it to be believed that he is still more miserable than he really is. What an example for the children! And what must the rising generation be!”

    To change that paragraph to reflect the New Labour inspired welfare dependent generation, how much effort would be required? Sod all – and that makes me deeply sad.

  166. 166
    The EUSSR resistance says:

    Yes they do have the legitimacy to trumpet their views on Europe, by the very fact that the people of Britain have elected them to represent them in the European parliament.

    The problem with all this though is that MEPs have zero power and unelected Euro Commissars hold all the power and take all their decisions in total secrecy.

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    “….but given that the egregious Galloway spent a large part of his radio programme last week crowing about how this result vindicates his faith in the supernatural,”

    There you go again, closing your mind down. Einstein would have taken these results to carry out more thought experiments, not close down the debate. Mind you, Einstein was a genius, and you’re not evidently.

  168. 168
    The Paragnostic says:

    Jenny Tonge’s spot on for the job. She pissed off the snipcocks a few years ago by saying she could understand the motivation of the suicide bombers…

  169. 169
    AC1 says:

    Yes, you point out a important but mostly overlooked attribute about economies run by bureaucrats instead of consumers….

    It’s ONLY production that meets DEMAND that makes the economy grow, so not only do you get the harm from taxation, you get the waste from the bureaucratic spend.

    More than 50% of the economy is run by the state, small wonder the economy is in such dire condition.

  170. 170
    Yeah, right.. says:


    Eh, what?, uh, oh sorry. Was reading this thread and was so riveted by it that I dozed off and went face down into the keyboard.

    Sorry, carry on…..

  171. 171
    AC1 says:

    A whole load of farming jobs went too when they start mechanisation.

    Face it, putting things in boxes doesn’t add much value (as China is finding out as wage demands grow).

  172. 172
    Mike Hunt says:

    coding characters in hex works too, lets you get "cunt" past the censor.

  173. 173
    Mike Hunt says:

    Bollox, this was a reply to 145

  174. 174
    nell says:

    Paragnostic I was born and bred into that agriculural village peasant environment.

    Our parents and our grandparents were determinned that we would climb out of it and beyond it with education. And people did.

    I think ingram and cobbett like dickens are depressives who do not really reflect the truth about the upwardly mobile, hard working classes of the last 200 years.

    It’s not good copy is it to say that people can better themselves with education?!

  175. 175
    Anonymous says:


    Whats more is that 80% of the tax would come from the UK. Everyone in Britain should send barroso a picture of their arse.

  176. 176
    Yeah, right.. says:

    Because Bob Crow told him to.

  177. 177
    nell says:

    Paragnostic I was born and bred into that agriculural village p e@ sant environment.

    Our parents and our grandparents were determinned that we would climb out of it and beyond it with education. And people did.

    I think ingram and cobbett like dickens are depressives who do not really reflect the truth about the upwardly mobile, hard working classes of the last 200 years.

    It’s not good copy is it to say that people can better themselves with education and hard work ?! But the truth is we did and you can!!

  178. 178
  179. 179
    AC1 says:

    I agree Neutrinos don’t travel faster than Light.

    I reckon they forgot to take account of the lower gravity field through the earth which would affect the timings i.e. if you made a straight hole the same distance, light would arrive at the same time..

  180. 180
    Yeah, right.. says:

    Yes, this is truly a tax on the UK.

    And from a citizen of our oldest ally to boot….

  181. 181
    AC1 says:

    Very bad if you want to keep forcing a lot of nonsense into childrens heads.

  182. 182
    nell says:

    She lacks moral fibre! gordon has it in spades.

    I don’t like him but you can’t fault his righteous belief in himself! It’s absolutely cast iron!! And there is absolutwely no doubt that he won’t accept bribes – that has to be a major plus . The same could not be said of bliar or mandy!!!!

  183. 183
    Yeah, right.. says:

    Fat lot of good it did them.

  184. 184
    AC1 says:

    I heop the conservatives see sense and disagree with anti-capitalist rent-seekers like Rorys’ dad.

  185. 185
    Jack Dromey (Ms) says:

    This philosophy didn’t do the Krauts much good tho, did it? I see the noble General makes no mention of vankers, the classification most applicable to the PPE students it has been my misfortune to encounter.

    PS Hitler smiley: \\:=|

  186. 186
    AC1 says:

    It wouldn’t. Zero tax would come from it. The jobs and the cascading employment it creates would move to a more sensible country.

  187. 187
    The Paragnostic says:

    Cobbett climbed out of it too – his concern was that the way the system worked discouraged people from bettering themselves.

    And what’s wrong with being a depressive? Winston was one too…

  188. 188
    fuckin dolt says:

    Yeah, AC1, all those highly qualified scientists at CERN forgot to factor in the lower gravity filed. I’ve emailed your correction to them so we can all now sleep at night knowing that E does in fact = mc2.

  189. 189
    Jack Dromey (Ms) says:

    The technical term is “morbidly cuddly”.

  190. 190
    annette curton says:

    Ah, that’s all very well but can you infiltrate a Phrase including the prime word prefixed with the name of a well known Politician, BBC/Guardian journalist, MEP or Union leader?.

  191. 191
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:


  192. 192
    Jack Dromey (Ms) says:

    Just let me fill my hot-water bottle, dear, and I’ll be upstairs like a rat up a drainpipe.

  193. 193
    annette curton says:

    Refer to 153 (as was).

  194. 194
    Jack Dromey (Ms) says:

  195. 195
    Bruno says:

    Milliband has more than a passing resemblance to Borat.


  196. 196
    AC1 says:

    Did they fire light down the same beam? No.

    So the “distance” is just a guess. Distance gets much more complicated in the General Relativity with adjustments for gravity fields, relative velocity and rotational change.

    I’d bet large sums of money on a light v neutrino race experiment showing light as the winner.

  197. 197
    nell says:

    No system works with you. All systems discourage you. That is what forms character!

    That in the end is what makes the man/woman and not the mouse!

    Anyone whoever got money, power and influence easy, is never going to be worthwhile.

    The very reason why ed miliband/hatty harpic /balls&cooper, pollytwadde, rusbridger etal don’t understand anyone who works for a living. They are priveleged, moneyed and have never had to work for it!!

  198. 198
    East India Company wallah says:

    That was an aptitude test,you passed,one house point

  199. 199
    East India Company wallah says:

    WELL said,no person,council,government can afford to pay anybody to be unproductive-yet by default all do-there in lies the problem

  200. 200
    nell says:

    I think the tragedy is that the current troughing labour party with members like the dru n k en twatson, grasping mandy and the strutting bliar, have no resemblance to the labour party that was working for the real struggling honorable working classes in 1918/19 after WW1 and 1945/46 after WW2 .

    I rather think the current champagne socialist labour party is dying on it’s feet and doesn’t have too many years left to live.

  201. 201
    East India Company wallah says:

    No point billy,the UK is committed to unite the various countries in the northern hemisphere,the euro should never have been instigated unless a dictator had taken charge of said nations-these countries are still trying to reconcile vast differences in standards of living,GDP,earning per capita,levels of tax evasion,taxation rates etc
    In a market driven economy,these nation states,their corporations,their culture,their uniqueness should do battle on an even playing field like they did before the ERM or the Euro
    The war in Europe is over

  202. 202
    Troy Tempest says:

    Dear Ed, where did all the money go?

    All the new schools and hospitals were PFI so we are paying for them now.

    So what did we actually get for 13 years of tax and spend?

  203. 203
    nell says:

    Problem with YouGov is that they give added weighting to the Miirror readers!!

    Don’t forget that the owner of YouGov is the husband of that Baroness Ashton *(personal friend of gurninggordon) that is now the EU Foreign Minister earning more per annum than obama!

    The baroness and her YouGov owning husband owe a debt to labour for the accumulation of their excessive personal wealth – the least they can do is to make sure that the YouGov poll is always tilted in labour’s favour by whatever sleight of hand is necessary!!!

  204. 204
    Sick of the Greed and Lies(still) says:

    who hides behind “Anonymous”? Stand up and be counted. if you are a supporter of any party, be proud of it. It all seems a bit seedy to me to be honest. A sort of closet supporter.
    I have voted Conservative all my life. through good times and bad. I guess that makes me the same as a loyal Labour supporter. However, the Conservatives have never come as close as Labour to bankrupting the country so I guess you might not want to show your true colours.

  205. 205
    nell says:

    Wrong question when asking what they did with all of OUR money.

    The question should be WHO in labour and within the unions had all of our money. And who were the the top 10 that had most of it?!! Hmm?!!

  206. 206
    Fish says:

    Good fun on Newsnight tonight. Oborne laying into (former) pro Euro Lambert and an EU Commision ‘idiot’ who decides to walk out of the interview. Lambert really didn’t enjoy being given a personal copy of the ‘Guilty Men’ booklet!

  207. 207
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Swathes of the population trapped on benefits, more than one million ‘jobs’ added to the public sector payroll, millions of imported Liebour voters, the Iraq War, the invasion of Afghanistan, billions of Pounds wasted on a useless NHS IT system….

    You know us socialists, we never keep a handle on expenditure when we’re throwing Taxpayers’ money around !!!

  208. 208

    Thanks for the ‘heads up’ ! I never watch Jeremy Pratman or Crusty Wark any more but will check that gem out on iPlayer.

  209. 209
    Anonymous says:

    does anyone know the name of the idiot in Brussels?

  210. 210
    Arthur Bent says:

    Some one get it on youtube cause the bbc player is blocked to me.

  211. 211
    Everard P Burgerpenis says:

    I wonder if it will let me type the word SHunthorpe

  212. 212
    Everard P Burgerpenis says:

    Apparently not.

  213. 213
    Anonymous says:


  214. 214
    Ed Wood wood wood says:

    only one ed and it’s a shiite one

  215. 215
    Chad Wackerman says:

    Sounds like a real gas.

  216. 216

    Jean-Claude you mean?

    Jean-Claude Van-Damme
    [His response to being asked what he thinks of his nickname ‘Muscles from Brussels]: “It’s better than being called ‘The Idiot from Brussels’.”

  217. 217
    Abigail says:

    Dear Ed

    Do you agree that there are too many DELUDED people in powerful positions trying to influence Britain with their PREDATORY ways, even at the expense of walking all over those close to them ?

    Oh and my Mum and Dad think you are an asshole.

    Yours sincerely

    (aged 6)

  218. 218
    Anonymous says:

    *your response has been noted*

  219. 219
    Anonymous says:

    Tell me that is a made up name :)

  220. 220
    annette curton says:

    Somebody removed his Sim card from its slot, disassembled!, disassembled!.

  221. 221
    The Clap says:

    I lolled

  222. 222
    AC1 says:

    Hes’ the dull sort of weirdo who probably had posters of cats on his wall at uni.

  223. 223
    AC1 says:

    The German army managed to inflict double the Allied casualty rate during the war.

    I think them losing was more to do with their stupid and industrious national socialist leader.

  224. 224
    not a machine says:

    why cant you see that it is the way that the time was measured ,that is interesting ?

    if the clock behaved under Einsteins rules , then if neutrinos can travel faster than the speed of light , it would record an early arrival as it bound by the physical laws that constructed it .A clock based on neutrinos laws may show somthing different .

  225. 225
    Rightallalong says:

    For me, Ed resembles Vince from Deputy Dawg.

    DD Cartoon

  226. 226
    Chad Wackerman says:

    Unfortunately, no. Google my work, E.

  227. 227
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    * r i c k

    c u n t

    b * * v * r

    m i n g *

    t w * t

    f r o n t b o t t o m

    f u r r y h o o p

    h * i r y p i *

    g o r i l l * p * r k

    Does it work?

  228. 228
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    And perhaps his enthusiasm for taking on the whole of Europe at once.

  229. 229
    Gordon Brown says:

    Nurse! – you haven’t come to play with my botty yet, – and I’m getting sleepy!

  230. 230
    not a machine says:

    bit of a John Knot moment , although considering I had never seen alledged EU spokesperson before , must have a large supply of them to insult .Peter Obourne did have a point though in that these people can spout any cockwaffle they want as it is there job to be part of the unaccountable , funny isnt it you cannot name any one person who is in charge of the farce ,can you ……..

    “and the deloren had its problems too” LOL no doubt I padders will not have realised it wasnt made in hollywood .

    On chan4 news showed clip of ask ed , bloke asked about pensions , ed just went into waffle , bloke just walked out .

    Daily mash done an interesting take on ed Balls

    To sum up NN panel view then , EU doesnt know what to do , Obourne says ther all liars , city types cautious on cutting greece free of euro if contagion spreads to bigger med euro countries, former pro euro FT editior says 2 trillion bailout is best option but admits could be completely done for if , small chance that it will fail, does occure ,oh well thats me for good nights kip then .

    If the med eurozone countries are never going to match the German economy , then it was rather stupid to have not got fiscal rules sorted before lending med and irish money that the tax payer was going to be liable for , rather a big runious porkie and to have done it without any proper , end scenario or pre fiscal rules of entry.But even then if rules had been in place , wouldnt Germany always be doing better .
    So the ruin sneakily signing Lisbon was Labour just being irresponsible then on no ecnomic rule or fact about tax collection in greece .So does Chris Huhne still think we had got it wrong on the euro then as he said only a few days ago , i mean is he still right if only 2 trillion is needed …………

  231. 231
    The Paragnostic says:


    The use of the & ampersand allows all sorts of wholesome fun!

  232. 232
    not a machine says:

    interesting although I think borat is more convincing and had a better economic policy , but works for me , put speech into borat langauge , perhaps he did rip him off

  233. 233
    Been out and about says:

    That EU guy was an arrogant tosser, he got what he deserved, it was if he just was just saying , you will agree with us as we are the EU. hard luck we know better.

  234. 234
    Ewanme says:

    Nice one , Chadders !!

    You jus reminded me why it’s worth cilingin to this mingin planet , darlin x .

    Big hugs an that .

    E x .

  235. 235
    The Paragnostic says:

    Ah – John Nott and the sainted Robin Day!

    Here today, gone tomorrow – if only the pillocks we have now hadn’t been there yesterday, perhaps things would have been less awful.

    The fiscal rules were clear at Maastricht, as was the fact that Zorba, Diego, Mick et al were never going to meet them without a great deal of ‘creative’ accounting. The Euro, as a project, is dead – in fact it was stillborn but has been mouldering under our noses for a decade. Time we pulled out and left the enthusiasts to it.

    Maybe the financial shock will be good for the world – a dose of reality would surely be better than our continued suspension of disbelief which is all that keeps the current banking/sovereign d*bt/fiat money farce alive.

  236. 236
    not a machine says:

    probely well paid arrogant tosser as well,

  237. 237
    not a machine says:

    depends if you mean good , if you have to fight over 4pints of milk and a loaf , I mean if it does fail , we will want to be able to secure food supplys (rolls eyes skyword and still asks question if building on green fields is nutter policy) .Whilst we are fat , we are still 60% self sufficent for food , we have had drought over large parts of the south , water abstraction has been curtailed , just tell me , is it better to plan and farm for surplus ,or run it near to bone and hope you dont have two succcesive droughts and have to import more , (assuming that is cereal areas of europe dont suffer drought at same time ) . basic economy unable to control inflation by stock management=disaster .

  238. 238
    Chad Wackerman says:

    YVW, Ewanme. I pounded my skins on this one too. I hope you English guys enjoy humor with your waffles. This one is not for the kids. Nice talking with you.

  239. 239
    AC1 says:

    > building on green fields is nutter policy

    No, it’s not nutty at all. 94% of the country is not built upon. The whole point of the no build policy was to keep houses unnafordable… A sort of QE for land prices. It makes the country poorer.

  240. 240
    AC1 says:

    Is every comment modded at the moment?

  241. 241

    We are 80% sufficient. And that’s only not 100% because the remaining 20% is middle classes stuff we can’t grow here.

    If we went GM crop crazy {remember all that fuss? Hippies ripping up hemp.} we’d have surpluses.

  242. 242
    albacore says:

    Dear Eddie, can you come and re-tune my digital TV hard drive recorder thingamyjig?
    Thank you.

  243. 243
    Anonymous says:

    The Guilty Idiots:

  244. 244
    The Paragnostic says:

    I. for one, couldn’t take an hour on the tower of power, Chad, but thanks nevertheless :-)

  245. 245
    albacore says:

    Just testing. Anybody familiar with the term “Galloping Ghost” in this context will concede that digital zapped analogue back in the ’70s. So how come the struldbrugs have made such a Balls of it with off-air TV today?

  246. 246
    The Paragnostic says:

    I’ll back me and my machete agin anyone if it comes to fighting over food, but the whole system has been rotten ever since the idea of sovereign debt was mooted (around the 1670s, if I’m not mistaken).

    The idea that every generation unto the Apocalypse should pay for Charles II’s profligacy is abhorrent to me, sorry!

    There’s loads of land we could bring into production if the common lands were brought back, but the Enclosures netted so many politicians it’s unlikely that will ever happen.

    As an Aldershot resident, may I respectfully suggest the repatriation of Joanna Lumley’s friends? It’s good to have Nepalese neighbours, but not so good when they take over…

  247. 247
    Whitewash says:

    Newspaper groups asked Lord Justice Leveson yesterday to appoint more experts to his inquiry into the future of the Press.

    Associated Newspapers, publishers of the Daily Mail, together with Trinity Mirror and Guardian News and Media, asked for additional ‘assessors’ to advise the judge with knowledge of managing papers, newsgathering and investigative, sports and showbusiness journalism.

    Read more:

  248. 248
    O. Toole says:

    Be honest! Who in their right mind would want to be President of that place?

  249. 249
    ... and finally... says:

    There was a young fellow named Bright
    Who travelled much faster than light.
    He went out one day
    In a relative way
    And arrived home the previous night.

  250. 250
    Yassir Adaflat says:

    Yes, even us Pallies are fed up with you now.

  251. 251
    Yassir Adaflat says:

    Please do not confuse “earning” with being paid”.

  252. 252
    Anonymous says:

    Have we run out of numbers?

  253. 253
    Hang The Bastards says:


  254. 254
    Archer Karcher says:

    Fake Billy.

  255. 255
    Ed (Bernie Winters) is weird says:

    I think that went well. It’s been a good week. Business as usual from now on.

  256. 256
    Tony Bliar is a complete cunt says:

    Who is the bigger hypocrite, you or your brother ?……..

  257. 257
    tinker, tailor says:

    buy the fat cun*t some shirts that fit

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