September 9th, 2011

Friday Caption Contest (Standing to Attention Edition)


  1. 1

    Not the first time he has been happy to be surrounded by men in bare skin I’ll wager.

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “I like it when they all stiffen up”

    • 39
      Anonymous says:

      Does it matters? I was upset when he gave a job to a person he shared a bed / room with.

      • 45
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        So you have never shared a hotel room with a work collegue?

        • 49
          Anonymous says:

          In the offices I have worked each one get a separate room.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            when i used to do sales work we always had double rooms where possible.

          • Anonymous says:

            This is the most ga* and bi friendly cabinet. I don’t know why some people are upset about this. Live and let others live.

          • Anonymous says:

            “possible”; so it was your choice and its fine as long as the other person who you shared with doesn’t work for you or you did give him / her a job.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            It was cheaper for the firm, travelling round the country they had certian deals with certain chains.

            Yes we did all share with other colluges, Males shared rooms and so did the females.

          • Anonymous says:

            Sharing a room was the problem was it Billy? The photo showed one bed and sharing with boss was the issue.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            You think it is a issue?

            Jesus Christ, I wonder how you survive in the real world.

        • 166
          DR says:

          Billy, Billy, Billy … do please elaborate about the deals with chains!

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    “All the nice boys like a guardsman…”

  4. 4
    William says:

    I love a bit of Bear skin

  5. 5
    Larry says:

    Lovely helmets

  6. 6

    Never mind the “our European partners” crap, Mr ‘Ague, just remember they don’t like it up ‘em.

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    I too have a hairy head!! Its usually stuck up someones arse!

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    So what if I have got a raging hard-on? My wife’s had a miscarriage and everything.

  9. 9
    Tessa Tickles says:

    “Any last requests, traitor?”

  10. 9
    Anonymous says:

    I’m not going to be able to give blood for a year, but by God, it’ll be worth it.

  11. 11
    Aaron D highside says:

    “It’s not a big bobby’s helmet, sir – it’s a busby”

  12. 12
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    And there was me thinking it was bad having two Red Eds going for you at once :)

  13. 13
    Barry says:

    They are changing the guards at Buckingham Palace, William Hague says call me Alice.

  14. 14
  15. 15
    Keith says:

    Did the fruit in the suit get hard near the guard?

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    There is such a thing as a hairy bald wig

  17. 17
    Mick Turatian says:

    Bare skin versus Bearskin

  18. 18
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The picture has vanished?

  19. 19
    A Sodomite by Instinct says:

    In the middle again. Yippee!

  20. 20
    Mr hague says:

    I prefer Bear Back

  21. 22
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Anyone know if Milibong is on TWitter today?

  22. 23
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Right lads, imagine I’m a biscuit…

  23. 24
    I Squiggle says:

    “Psst, Sir.. Your flies are undone”
    “I know, Sergeant, I know..”

  24. 25
    Handycock says:

    We need more females in this profession

  25. 26
    Fuzzy says:

    Guarding the Queen!!

  26. 27
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘I was talking to your friend Seb Coe last night. Isn’t he a sweetie.’

  27. 29
    Mulberry's Harbour says:

    Hello Sailor!!!

  28. 30
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Its ok lads , i will bring up the rear if you dont mind”

  29. 31
    I Squiggle says:

    “Looks like the Queen is late again, Sir..”
    “What are you talking about, I’m here aren’t I?”

  30. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fuck me!!!!


  31. 33
    David D says:

    How would you like to be cut

  32. 34
    Tax Payer Joe Public says:

    Hmmm, will tell Ffion sorry but looks like I am going tobe tied up all weekend as duty calls & she knows my real preferences afer all these years.

  33. 36
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    RIGHT – Stop the denying!

    Which one is Ed Miliband and which one is Ed Balls?

  34. 37
    Tax Payer Joe Public says:

    is’nt that George Osbourne on the extreme RHS of the photo with his weapon in hand ??

    Or Is this another Bullington Club outing ??

  35. 38
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Stand up straight SIr! Oh, you are.

  36. 40
    Taliban Tam says:

    I like erect men…..

  37. 41
    I Squiggle says:

    “They don’t like it up ‘em Sir..”


  38. 42
    Steve Miliband says:

    Hague and Sarkosy inspect the Guards

  39. 43
    Article 38 says:

    Squaaaad! Camp it, up!

    • 72
      Tax Payer Joe Public says:

      Please stop allowing access to these recruitment videos for our MP’s !!
      we know they are all members of the very exclusive sh*rt lift*rs golden rivet club & lavishly paid for by the down trodden tax payers……we object to having our nose’s rubbed in it by these bertie woofters……

      Now who’s next for a large one up the a*rse with or without lubricant ?

  40. 44
    Slimey Mandy says:

    Oh wish I was there to give William my large one up his a*se ?

    Don’t think my brazilian hole will mind…..well maybe just a quickie……

  41. 47

    This medal sir? It’s for wounds suffered in the line of duty.. I was the man who was detailed to protect Gordon Brown. Took a photocopier to the head.

  42. 50

    Hague is disappointed. Seeing the guard changing is not as exciting as he’d imagined.

  43. 52
    Cressida's Dick says:

    ‘Eh lad, amazing to think they used to think this twat was the future of the Tory party’.

  44. 53
    genghiz the kahn says:

    “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

  45. 54
    Gordon(Rabies Syndrome)McDoom says:

    Fcuk William,but I can’t be there as I already have my rear end deep invasive treatment (no vasilene type) booked up………..

  46. 56
    Steve Miliband says:

    ”Pst…..Mr Hague. want to come and see my barracks?”

  47. 58
    Sir William Waad says:

    Corporal Thornthwaite was all too familar with the Hague convention.

  48. 60
    Loungelizard says:

    Rugs R Us you say, any colour other than black?

  49. 64
    Wear the Fox hat says:

    I’ve told you before to stop picking your nose with that bayonet! No wonder your coats are all red.

  50. 67
    UknowMe says:

    “Oi you mong, do your bottom button up, you look like a sack of shit !”

  51. 75
    Gerry Mandering says:

    I’ll lick this lot into shape.

  52. 77
    billy hague says:

    I prefer brown hatters myself.

  53. 78
    An impartial observer says:

    See this bit of cutlery Minister?
    Spin on it.

  54. 80
    alex taylor says:

    No, not here ,later in the hotelroom

  55. 81
    Pike says:


    You tiny smarmy bald-headed little git – now y’hands are tied behind y’back
    I’m gonna slip this long shiny pointed thing right up your arse !

    Got it? We’ll see who’s who in your Foreign Orifices !!

  56. 82

    Blimey lads! its Ross Kemp!

  57. 83
    Throg_lodge says:

    “No Sir, we don’t have any Gay Hussars, but we do have a Bi-Curious Bombadier”

  58. 84
    Corporal Jones says:

    They do like it up ‘em!

  59. 85
    stanlycam says:

    He does like it up him !

  60. 86
    Anonymous says:

    What do you mean I’m the egg?

  61. 87
    Mr Humphries (Deceased) says:

    Come on all together & sing……..

    “All the nice boys luv a soldier, all the nice boys luv his pr*ck”………………

  62. 88
    Anonymous says:

    where’s your cap, Wee Willie?

  63. 89
    vladikavkaz says:

    WH – So, Mr Guard, where’s my bearskin?
    Guard – Venezuela.

  64. 91
    Jay says:

    Changing of the Gourd.
    (GOURD Definition: a bald fruit with a round bottom that holds a lot of seed)

  65. 92
    Anonymous says:

    makes one* proud to be Skittish*

  66. 95
    Farmer Giles says:

    Foot guards !
    Give me mounted guards every time.

  67. 96
    Donald McGill says:

    “I can’t find my little Willy!”

  68. 98
    clarence says:

    hello honky tonks

  69. 99
    Mark says:

    Ok lads, which one of you has my baseball cap?

  70. 100
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    C’mon lads let’s see yer bare-skins!

  71. 101
    Anonymous says:

    Up to your Neck in* Muck* & bullet’s

  72. 103
    Nemo says:

    ‘ere, I remember seeing that geezer when he was a mopp head , now he is a slap head

  73. 104
    Jock founder member of Brown Hatters Unlimited says:

    Hmmmm There was I thinking there would’nt be enough bear skins to go round after the drastic cuts, now I’m spoilt for choice…..

  74. 105
    Nemo says:

    Haigh: is it true what I have read in my history books about guardsmen in Victorian times.

  75. 106
    M Greaves says:

    “You have one last wish!”

  76. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Wait forrr it …wait forrr itttt…… EYESsssss C’nt

  77. 110
    Nemo says:

    I say lad where can I get one of those things on their head, I but it would be lovely and warm in winter

  78. 112
    simple soul says:

    … got anything a bit shorter?

  79. 114
    Grrr says:

    Proof that you can indeed polish a turd.

  80. 115
    boulay says:

    Wee Willie Haguey inspects the guard
    Long swords and furry hats makes him so hard
    Winking at a squaddie, blushing at a gun
    Thinking of those big boys and a night of barracks fun

  81. 116
    Tax Payer Joe Public says:

    Yes Sir We will guard Sir Stuart Bell @ his surgery office !

  82. 117
    Mr A Daly says:

    Please Don’t Bruise Me as ‘er in doors is starting to suspect something going on!

  83. 118
    I Spy says:

    Greasy George Osborne – RHS with medal.

  84. 119
    Ian E says:

    Boy’s toys!

  85. 120
    Anonymous says:

    I’m wid of that gwizzwy bear skin, west and wewaxation Huh HuhHuh

  86. 121
    Disco Biscuit says:

    “Normally we guard the Queen, sir”

  87. 123
    At last, the weekend! says:

    The comedy wigs joke was a bit harsh on poor William…

  88. 124
    VotingFloaterUK says:

    Foreign Secretary wears a suit

  89. 125
    Antipo-dean says:

    The Grenadier’s eyes are only sensitive to motion. If I stand very still, they can’t see me.

  90. 126
    Guardsman on Parade says:

    The entrance is next to the column sir

  91. 128
    Anonymous says:

    A standing Prick has No conscience ( fact )

  92. 129
    HeatNet says:

    And which one of you handsome lads is Ben Ghazi?

  93. 131
    Conundrum says:

    Secretary of State for Defence resolutely refuses to face up to some rather large chaps whose salary he is about to take away, Hague is first reserve, an offer simply too good to turn down.

  94. 132
    Al Dipco says:

    Hallo lads, I just popped by to let you know that I’ll be the fellow who will be delivering your P45s when you get back from Kabul in February.

  95. 133
    Regimental Dress says:

    Damn! I thought you were the guys with shiny helmets!

  96. 135
    Old Grumpy says:


  97. 136
    Regimental Dress says:

    Hirsute judges conclude that for some, Regaine is a pile of crap.

  98. 137
    Rupert my hero says:

    I do love a man in uniform

  99. 138
    Rupert my hero says:

    No Ffion, you can not take a proper man home,

  100. 139

    The fairy at the bottom of our guardsman

  101. 144
    gildedtumbril says:

    Who guards the guards?

  102. 145
    Steve Punter says:

    All present and erect. Which guardsman do you fancy? Only takes a shilling sir

  103. 146

    Afghan vet corrects Hague on why he received Khyber Pass medal.

  104. 148
    Anonymous says:

    Baldrick. permission to squeak Sir

  105. 149
    Mad Jock McMad says:

    Scruffy short arse to my front – ger yer haircut!

  106. 150
    Andy Marr is a jug eared cunt says:

    Her majesty certainly isn’t the only queen around here.

  107. 151
    Anonymous says:

    I like an erect military man.

  108. 156
    robbie says:

    The mystery shopper was very unimpressed with the parade of undetectable wigs on display.

  109. 161
    Displaced Brummie says:

    “Thank God it isn’t that bastard Gordon Brown! Last time he was here he flicked snot at me and then wiped his snotty fingers on his bearskin! The filthy beast!”

  110. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Real men look down upon a fraud

  111. 165
    Oldrightie says:

    Shouldn’t there be a railway carriage involved?

  112. 168
    They Knew Brown Was A Nut But Said Nothing says:

    ‘I’m always the short-arse at these military events.Stop thinking about arses you idiot! Oh what a giveaway.’

  113. 169
    Blair's Paid Ego Parrot says:

    ‘ After this is over,we’re all going to kiss and lick your balls Mr Haig.Now you just stand there and think about that for a minute,Sir.’ Enterprising soldier wins coarse bet with comrades.

  114. 171
    smoggie says:

    Hague: “I feel a general erection coming on”.

  115. 173
    Big Figure says:

    William Hague and his privates.

  116. 174
    Anonymous says:

    Is she? or Isn’t she ?. No just very wearing!

  117. 176
    Kitchener of Khartoum says:

    All the nice boys love a soldier.

  118. 177
    Civil Servant says:

    Right-wing tosser shares bed with “special advisors”


  119. 178
    Satu says:


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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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