September 9th, 2011

Friday Caption Contest (Standing to Attention Edition)


178 Comments

  1. 1

    Not the first time he has been happy to be surrounded by men in bare skin I’ll wager.

    Like

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “I like it when they all stiffen up”

    Like

    • 39
      Anonymous says:

      Does it matters? I was upset when he gave a job to a person he shared a bed / room with.

      Like

      • 45
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        So you have never shared a hotel room with a work collegue?

        Like

        • 49
          Anonymous says:

          In the offices I have worked each one get a separate room.

          Like

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            when i used to do sales work we always had double rooms where possible.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            This is the most ga* and bi friendly cabinet. I don’t know why some people are upset about this. Live and let others live.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            “possible”; so it was your choice and its fine as long as the other person who you shared with doesn’t work for you or you did give him / her a job.

            Like

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            It was cheaper for the firm, travelling round the country they had certian deals with certain chains.

            Yes we did all share with other colluges, Males shared rooms and so did the females.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Sharing a room was the problem was it Billy? The photo showed one bed and sharing with boss was the issue.

            Like

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            You think it is a issue?

            Jesus Christ, I wonder how you survive in the real world.

            Like

        • 166
          DR says:

          Billy, Billy, Billy … do please elaborate about the deals with chains!

          Like

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    “All the nice boys like a guardsman…”

    Like

  4. 4
    William says:

    I love a bit of Bear skin

    Like

  5. 5
    Larry says:

    Lovely helmets

    Like

  6. 6

    Never mind the “our European partners” crap, Mr ‘Ague, just remember they don’t like it up ‘em.

    Like

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    I too have a hairy head!! Its usually stuck up someones arse!

    Like

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    So what if I have got a raging hard-on? My wife’s had a miscarriage and everything.

    Like

  9. 9
    Tessa Tickles says:

    “Any last requests, traitor?”

    Like

  10. 9
    Anonymous says:

    I’m not going to be able to give blood for a year, but by God, it’ll be worth it.

    Like

  11. 11
    Aaron D highside says:

    “It’s not a big bobby’s helmet, sir – it’s a busby”

    Like

  12. 12
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    And there was me thinking it was bad having two Red Eds going for you at once :)

    Like

  13. 13
    Barry says:

    They are changing the guards at Buckingham Palace, William Hague says call me Alice.

    Like

  14. 14
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Like

  15. 15
    Keith says:

    Did the fruit in the suit get hard near the guard?

    Like

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    There is such a thing as a hairy bald wig

    Like

  17. 17
    Mick Turatian says:

    Bare skin versus Bearskin

    Like

  18. 18
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The picture has vanished?

    Like

  19. 19
    A Sodomite by Instinct says:

    In the middle again. Yippee!

    Like

  20. 20
    Mr hague says:

    I prefer Bear Back

    Like

  21. 22
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Anyone know if Milibong is on TWitter today?

    Like

  22. 23
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Right lads, imagine I’m a biscuit…

    Like

  23. 24
    I Squiggle says:

    “Psst, Sir.. Your flies are undone”
    “I know, Sergeant, I know..”

    Like

  24. 25
    Handycock says:

    We need more females in this profession

    Like

  25. 26
    Fuzzy says:

    Guarding the Queen!!

    Like

  26. 27
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘I was talking to your friend Seb Coe last night. Isn’t he a sweetie.’

    Like

  27. 29
    Mulberry's Harbour says:

    Hello Sailor!!!

    Like

  28. 30
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Its ok lads , i will bring up the rear if you dont mind”

    Like

  29. 31
    I Squiggle says:

    “Looks like the Queen is late again, Sir..”
    “What are you talking about, I’m here aren’t I?”

    Like

  30. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fuck me!!!!

    THIS IS THE CAPTION CONTEST!

    Like

  31. 33
    David D says:

    How would you like to be cut

    Like

  32. 34
    Tax Payer Joe Public says:

    Hmmm, will tell Ffion sorry but looks like I am going tobe tied up all weekend as duty calls & she knows my real preferences afer all these years.

    Like

  33. 36
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    RIGHT – Stop the denying!

    Which one is Ed Miliband and which one is Ed Balls?

    Like

  34. 37
    Tax Payer Joe Public says:

    is’nt that George Osbourne on the extreme RHS of the photo with his weapon in hand ??

    Or Is this another Bullington Club outing ??

    Like

  35. 38
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Stand up straight SIr! Oh, you are.

    Like

  36. 40
    Taliban Tam says:

    I like erect men…..

    Like

  37. 41
    I Squiggle says:

    “They don’t like it up ‘em Sir..”

    “Taxi!”

    Like

  38. 42
    Steve Miliband says:

    Hague and Sarkosy inspect the Guards

    Like

  39. 43
    Article 38 says:

    Squaaaad! Camp it, up!

    Like

    • 72
      Tax Payer Joe Public says:

      Please stop allowing access to these recruitment videos for our MP’s !!
      we know they are all members of the very exclusive sh*rt lift*rs golden rivet club & lavishly paid for by the down trodden tax payers……we object to having our nose’s rubbed in it by these bertie woofters……

      Now who’s next for a large one up the a*rse with or without lubricant ?

      Like

  40. 44
    Slimey Mandy says:

    Oh wish I was there to give William my large one up his a*se ?

    Don’t think my brazilian hole will mind…..well maybe just a quickie……

    Like

  41. 47

    This medal sir? It’s for wounds suffered in the line of duty.. I was the man who was detailed to protect Gordon Brown. Took a photocopier to the head.

    Like

  42. 50

    Hague is disappointed. Seeing the guard changing is not as exciting as he’d imagined.

    Like

  43. 52
    Cressida's Dick says:

    ‘Eh lad, amazing to think they used to think this twat was the future of the Tory party’.

    Like

  44. 53
    genghiz the kahn says:

    “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

    Like

  45. 54
    Gordon(Rabies Syndrome)McDoom says:

    Fcuk William,but I can’t be there as I already have my rear end deep invasive treatment (no vasilene type) booked up………..

    Like

  46. 56
    Steve Miliband says:

    ”Pst…..Mr Hague. want to come and see my barracks?”

    Like

  47. 58
    Sir William Waad says:

    Corporal Thornthwaite was all too familar with the Hague convention.

    Like

  48. 60
    Loungelizard says:

    Rugs R Us you say, any colour other than black?

    Like

  49. 64
    Wear the Fox hat says:

    I’ve told you before to stop picking your nose with that bayonet! No wonder your coats are all red.

    Like

  50. 67
    UknowMe says:

    “Oi you mong, do your bottom button up, you look like a sack of shit !”

    Like

  51. 75
    Gerry Mandering says:

    I’ll lick this lot into shape.

    Like

  52. 77
    billy hague says:

    I prefer brown hatters myself.

    Like

  53. 78
    An impartial observer says:

    See this bit of cutlery Minister?
    Spin on it.

    Like

  54. 80
    alex taylor says:

    No, not here ,later in the hotelroom

    Like

  55. 81
    Pike says:

    Right!

    You tiny smarmy bald-headed little git – now y’hands are tied behind y’back
    I’m gonna slip this long shiny pointed thing right up your arse !

    Got it? We’ll see who’s who in your Foreign Orifices !!

    Like

  56. 82

    Blimey lads! its Ross Kemp!

    Like

  57. 83
    Throg_lodge says:

    “No Sir, we don’t have any Gay Hussars, but we do have a Bi-Curious Bombadier”

    Like

  58. 84
    Corporal Jones says:

    They do like it up ‘em!

    Like

  59. 85
    stanlycam says:

    He does like it up him !

    Like

  60. 86
    Anonymous says:

    What do you mean I’m the egg?

    Like

  61. 87
    Mr Humphries (Deceased) says:

    Come on all together & sing……..

    “All the nice boys luv a soldier, all the nice boys luv his pr*ck”………………

    Like

  62. 88
    Anonymous says:

    where’s your cap, Wee Willie?

    Like

  63. 89
    vladikavkaz says:

    WH – So, Mr Guard, where’s my bearskin?
    Guard – Venezuela.

    Like

  64. 91
    Jay says:

    Changing of the Gourd.
    (GOURD Definition: a bald fruit with a round bottom that holds a lot of seed)

    Like

  65. 92
    Anonymous says:

    makes one* proud to be Skittish*

    Like

  66. 95
    Farmer Giles says:

    Foot guards !
    Give me mounted guards every time.

    Like

  67. 96
    Donald McGill says:

    “I can’t find my little Willy!”

    Like

  68. 98
    clarence says:

    hello honky tonks

    Like

  69. 99
    Mark says:

    Ok lads, which one of you has my baseball cap?

    Like

  70. 100
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    C’mon lads let’s see yer bare-skins!

    Like

  71. 101
    Anonymous says:

    Up to your Neck in* Muck* & bullet’s

    Like

  72. 103
    Nemo says:

    ‘ere, I remember seeing that geezer when he was a mopp head , now he is a slap head

    Like

  73. 104
    Jock founder member of Brown Hatters Unlimited says:

    Hmmmm There was I thinking there would’nt be enough bear skins to go round after the drastic cuts, now I’m spoilt for choice…..

    Like

  74. 105
    Nemo says:

    Haigh: is it true what I have read in my history books about guardsmen in Victorian times.

    Like

  75. 106
    M Greaves says:

    “You have one last wish!”

    Like

  76. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Wait forrr it …wait forrr itttt…… EYESsssss C’nt

    Like

  77. 110
    Nemo says:

    I say lad where can I get one of those things on their head, I but it would be lovely and warm in winter

    Like

  78. 112
    simple soul says:

    … got anything a bit shorter?

    Like

  79. 114
    Grrr says:

    Proof that you can indeed polish a turd.

    Like

  80. 115
    boulay says:

    Wee Willie Haguey inspects the guard
    Long swords and furry hats makes him so hard
    Winking at a squaddie, blushing at a gun
    Thinking of those big boys and a night of barracks fun

    Like

  81. 116
    Tax Payer Joe Public says:

    Yes Sir We will guard Sir Stuart Bell @ his surgery office !

    Like

  82. 117
    Mr A Daly says:

    Please Don’t Bruise Me as ‘er in doors is starting to suspect something going on!

    Like

  83. 118
    I Spy says:

    Greasy George Osborne – RHS with medal.

    Like

  84. 119
    Ian E says:

    Boy’s toys!

    Like

  85. 120
    Anonymous says:

    I’m wid of that gwizzwy bear skin, west and wewaxation Huh HuhHuh

    Like

  86. 121
    Disco Biscuit says:

    “Normally we guard the Queen, sir”

    Like

  87. 123
    At last, the weekend! says:

    The comedy wigs joke was a bit harsh on poor William…

    Like

  88. 124
    VotingFloaterUK says:

    Foreign Secretary wears a suit

    Like

  89. 125
    Antipo-dean says:

    The Grenadier’s eyes are only sensitive to motion. If I stand very still, they can’t see me.

    Like

  90. 126
    Guardsman on Parade says:

    The entrance is next to the column sir

    Like

  91. 128
    Anonymous says:

    A standing Prick has No conscience ( fact )

    Like

  92. 129
    HeatNet says:

    And which one of you handsome lads is Ben Ghazi?

    Like

  93. 131
    Conundrum says:

    Secretary of State for Defence resolutely refuses to face up to some rather large chaps whose salary he is about to take away, Hague is first reserve, an offer simply too good to turn down.

    Like

  94. 132
    Al Dipco says:

    Hallo lads, I just popped by to let you know that I’ll be the fellow who will be delivering your P45s when you get back from Kabul in February.

    Like

  95. 133
    Regimental Dress says:

    Damn! I thought you were the guys with shiny helmets!

    Like

  96. 135
    Old Grumpy says:

    ALPECIN WORKS!

    Like

  97. 136
    Regimental Dress says:

    Hirsute judges conclude that for some, Regaine is a pile of crap.

    Like

  98. 137
    Rupert my hero says:

    I do love a man in uniform

    Like

  99. 138
    Rupert my hero says:

    No Ffion, you can not take a proper man home,

    Like

  100. 139

    The fairy at the bottom of our guardsman

    Like

  101. 144
    gildedtumbril says:

    Who guards the guards?

    Like

  102. 145
    Steve Punter says:

    All present and erect. Which guardsman do you fancy? Only takes a shilling sir

    Like

  103. 146

    Afghan vet corrects Hague on why he received Khyber Pass medal.

    Like

  104. 148
    Anonymous says:

    Baldrick. permission to squeak Sir

    Like

  105. 149
    Mad Jock McMad says:

    Scruffy short arse to my front – ger yer haircut!

    Like

  106. 150
    Andy Marr is a jug eared cunt says:

    Her majesty certainly isn’t the only queen around here.

    Like

  107. 151
    Anonymous says:

    I like an erect military man.

    Like

  108. 156
    robbie says:

    The mystery shopper was very unimpressed with the parade of undetectable wigs on display.

    Like

  109. 161
    Displaced Brummie says:

    “Thank God it isn’t that bastard Gordon Brown! Last time he was here he flicked snot at me and then wiped his snotty fingers on his bearskin! The filthy beast!”

    Like

  110. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Real men look down upon a fraud

    Like

  111. 165
    Oldrightie says:

    Shouldn’t there be a railway carriage involved?

    Like

  112. 168
    They Knew Brown Was A Nut But Said Nothing says:

    ‘I’m always the short-arse at these military events.Stop thinking about arses you idiot! Oh what a giveaway.’

    Like

  113. 169
    Blair's Paid Ego Parrot says:

    ‘ After this is over,we’re all going to kiss and lick your balls Mr Haig.Now you just stand there and think about that for a minute,Sir.’ Enterprising soldier wins coarse bet with comrades.

    Like

  114. 171
    smoggie says:

    Hague: “I feel a general erection coming on”.

    Like

  115. 173
    Big Figure says:

    William Hague and his privates.

    Like

  116. 174
    Anonymous says:

    Is she? or Isn’t she ?. No just very wearing!

    Like

  117. 176
    Kitchener of Khartoum says:

    All the nice boys love a soldier.

    Like

  118. 177
    Civil Servant says:

    Right-wing tosser shares bed with “special advisors”

    [img]http://labourhome.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/guido-in-bed-300px.jpg[/img]

    Like

  119. 178
    Satu says:

    ‘BUDGET CUTS: ONE IN FIVE WITHOUT EGG-COSYS!!’

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

5 Things We Learned From Guido’s Party | GQ
Revealed: Guido Fawkes Anniversary Dinner Guestlist | Peter Oborne
More Owen Jones Errors | Michael Ezra
Why Should Men Get Equal Maternity Leave? | Laura Keynes
Dentists Have Last Laugh Over Sneering Keynes | FT
Why’s Clegg Giving Men Paternity Leave? | Conservative Women
Cam Cannot Stem EU Immigration | David Keighley
9 Mansion Tax Questions for Ed Balls | TPA
Politicians are Lying to You About Immigration | Alex Wickham
Give Journalists Public Interest Defence in Law | Guardian
Cameron is Going to Have to Deal With UKIP | Dan Hodges


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Chris Bryant talks to the Times Diary about a famous gay actor:

“I don’t think I’ve had sex with him. He says we had sex in Clapham. I’m fairly certain I’ve never had sex south of the river”



Progressive Inclusion Champion says:

Great to hear Carswell call for inclusive policies and that UKIP must stand for first and second generation immigrants as much as the English.


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,534 other followers