September 5th, 2011

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


  1. 1
    Stryker Milliband says:

    Are Rich & Mark blind, stupid, or both? Even by their standards this is fucking awful.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    who is it?

  3. 3
    Nemo says:

    Without the tags I would not have guessed what the Cartoon was on about, still I am a bit slow it’s my age, a good getout. How did the rest of you do?

  4. 4
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Cameron can re-brand the current Tories as New Labour, and that will solve that branding problem.

    When there’s a REAL Conservative party worth talking about, wake the population up.

  5. 5
    Nemo says:

    More interesting is the revelation of B’Liar as God father with Rupert Murdoch’s family (the two youngest)

  6. 6
    Nemo says:

    Re-branding used to work but people get wise when they see the same people at the top.

  7. 7
    so I said, ah screw it says:

    I guess the ginger hair suggests a person on Celtic origin, we still have to be politically correct just for the sake of Polly Twaddle, I hope it comes off, this so called rebrand because Liebour won’t want to miss out and hopefully the Scots will get a backbone and create the space for England go it alone and leave us alone, along with not being in the EU when it comes to paying for University places, oh the times are a changin.

  8. 8
    Displaced Brummie says:

    This is great. Only relevant to those readers in Scotland (salt on porridge, haggis in the Aga, got a kilt they can only claim a vague right to wear, that sort of thing) but we can’t have everything!

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    They have standards?

    The sooner Guido’s contract ends the better.

  10. 10
    JH says:

    Monday. 6AM, R&M’s executive comedy studio (if Mum isn’t in there doing the ironing)

    Oh god oh god oh god think of something… Scotland… Braveheart! Everyone likes Braveheart! Errr… Freedom! Freedom to do what… er… er… yeah that Tory guy is doing something in Jockland… draw him… oh god it looks nothing like him. Draw his name on his chest. Quick, stick a photo on the back so it looks like we’ve done some work. Attach… send… I won’t ask ‘will this do?’ in case Guido says no…

    Phew. Job done.

  11. 11
    me me says:

    Did they miss the darling expose ?

    shurley they could have a cartoon of darling in No.11 listening to the wall with a glass… ?

  12. 12
    Lou Scannon says:

    Let’s see ….. Braveheart ….. Mel Gibson, so obviously nothing to do with Jockland. Is Hollywood planning to change its name ?

  13. 13
    Eamonn U Ensis says:

    When did Mel Gibson join the Scottish Tory Party ???

  14. 14
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    But … but …. but … well, it is just about topical and slightly amusing and it is a cartoon …. isn’t it?

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    It’s not as if there wasn’t anything more interesting?

    HINT: Darling revelations

  16. 16
    Prest and Panns says:

    The Tories should just write off Scotland…they’ve got no chance however many times they rebrand…let the country(not just Scotland) have a referendum on Scottishindependence …I predict that a majority of Scots will vote to stay in the union whereas the majority of English will vote to boot them out..time for England to gain its independence and stop giving the free-loading Scots our money and allowing them to vote on solely english matters at Westminster

  17. 17
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Maybe you’re right. Labour voters vote that way because their fathers did, and they did because their fathers did. There’s no hope in installing intelligence with that kind of reasoning to vote.

  18. 18
    Nemo says:

    Darling would not need a glass to hear what was going on next door when Huggie Brown was on the rampage

  19. 19
    Murdo Maximus Fraser says:

    If I should win then at my command… prepare to unleash……. a rebranding exercise but not too much of one ok ??

  20. 20
    so I said, ah screw it says:

    Oh you mean when Darling was in power and he was too shit scared to say anything , just incase he had to get away from the trough, he seems a man ? of strength now he’s written a book , it’s seems it’s also about courage just like his ex boss.

  21. 21
    Toasty says:

    Weetabix or bacon and egg?

  22. 22
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Yes and unfortunately the people at the top of iDave’s cabinet look rather like the Blairites from where I’m sitting.

  23. 23
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Guido’s been in the retard school bin again

    FFS man get a proper cartoonist !

  24. 24
    Nemo says:

    With all this mention of Darling this blog is starting to sound like an episode of Black Adder Goes Forth

  25. 25
    ITV says:

    So, the BBC does not approve of free schools.
    Why is the BBC so overtly political these days?

  26. 26
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    So bad it’s almost funny – but not quite.

  27. 27

    bbc, POLITICAL! nooo…..

    Well maybe,
    if rumours of abolishing the license fee are becoming more of a fact.
    Soon to be a debate and then…

  28. 28
    Fred Swarfega says:

    Or Libya?

  29. 29
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Sky news making a real big issue this morning where someone tipped them off about a stash of guns hidden in a bin in London
    It is said that London gangs are stashing weapons for use in round two of the riots !
    So armed with about 40 coppers a and a full film crew they set off to the block of flats surround the area and start the search
    Soon they find a bag in the bin containing
    Three flintlock pistols , Two flair guns and a red rusty revolver !
    two things spring to mind
    One: if you pulled a flintlock pistol out during the riots you would not get shot ,because the police would be pissing their sides so much ,they wouldn’t be able to aim straight
    Two: most of these brain dead morons wouldn’t have the brain to operate a flintlock pistol
    Three: your street cred would be destroyed for ever if any other gang members saw you !
    For me these from a collector and are left over from a robbery and someone threw them out .
    They were in the bin because they were thrown away ,after all you don’t hide something you want to keep ,in a council bin that is emptied every week
    or maybe sky news put them there ?

  30. 30
    jgm2 says:

    Salt on porridge is good.

    Cheaper than sugar too.

  31. 31
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Just as bad news about Labour are all over the media, this clown pops up, and suddenly the big news story is about SPLITS AMONGST THE BABY EATING NORTH BRITISH TORIES on the BBC.

  32. 32
    Grumpy Old Man says:


  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    It’s nice to remember Dave’s words about how we are all in this together as bosses pay themselves 187% more in just one year.

    Why worry about inflation and increased taxes when you can just pay yourself more?

  34. 34
    Ex-Conservative voter says:

    Camoron’s not going to give us a referendum on anything unless the LimpDums insist on it. Anyway, he’s got no time to do anything sensible; now he’s been told his idiotic green energy policies are going to hike everyones bills by 30%, he’ll be too busy trying to spin his way out of another mess.

  35. 35
    East India Company wallah says:

    New centre right party for Scotlandland-yea right

    IS this Murdo leading IMF lite (re-branded tories) against the welfare blockers REAL IMF

    The jocks wont vote for anyone who would tell him that work is not a dirty word from a history book

  36. 36
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    How about a cartoon about how Call me ” fucking liar” Dave Blairon
    adding three hundred pounds a year to your fuel bills with his EU masters green taxes ?
    How tight are we supposed to tighten our belts you fucking muppet ?
    but hey it wont effect you Dave will it as you claim all your energy costs on expenses !

    Wanker !

  37. 37
    me me says:

    true but there is comic effect from him at one side of wall with a glass… saying – ooooh that was bigger than a nokia!

    i liked darlings “outside the tent” – comment that when you get to chancellor in the brown government – you not in the mainstream of the gov conciousness, despite sitting in cabinet and on many committees….

    also nice touch with gadaffi and “tent” diplomancy… lol

  38. 38
    Quantrill says:

    Meanwhile, in the real world: August 10th, 6 GR4 Tornados carrying Storm Shadows were sent from RAF Marham in Norfolk to attack targets in Libya at a cost of 12.8million pounds for the missiles and 4.1 million pounds for associated costs. Total £15.9 Million.

    This attack took place 700Km from rebel positions.

    This cannot be justified in the context of UN resolution 1973.

  39. 39
    BillyBob... says:

    Surely time to cast the BeeB into the commercial world…..

  40. 40
    so I said, ah screw it says:

    He smells a North British power vacuum and is positioning himself to jump in and get the power and greed and credit for himself, nothing unusual then.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    To be used in the riots. COBBLERS!

  42. 42
    me me says:

    we had the madness of king george,,,

    any money on the best movie of the last 10 years being

    The madness of Gordon Brown…. ?

    who freed Bank of England from responsibility for the banks…. GB

    who at high of the financial crisis wanted a new chancellor …. GB

    who at the high of the financial crisis wanted new governer of bank of england… GB

    who though crisis would only last 6 months….. GB

    GB gonna have hard time in his memoirs explaining how all these poeple now coming out (blair, mandy, darling) saying he – GB – the chancelor was the root of all evil – and cause of the financial crash in banking – cos it was his idea – to make bank of endland independant.

  43. 43
    jgm2 says:

    Comprehension fail.

    A decade is ten years not one year.

    No wonder Labour fucked the economy with maths like that at large.

  44. 44
    Hugh Janus says:

    I would be very happy with a 30% increase over the next 9 years, bearing in mind that we have had increases of around 30% in just the past 2. It isn’t going to happen of course; the 30% figure came from the Huhne of Huhnes. He knew it to be false, but thought the population would be taken in by it. Whichever way you look at it, it’s just another political lie like all the rest.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Resolution 1973.. you dont believe that old bollocks DO you? mushrooms kept in the dark and fed sh$t

  46. 46
    Hugh Janus says:

    You have only just noticed?? Try a visit to Biased BBC and you will soon see how far and how deep their prejudices run.

  47. 47
    jgm2 says:

    True that.

    Theoretically the Scots can vary income tax locally by 2% (might be 3%). During the local elections in 2003 and 2007 all the parties, if they mentioned this option at all were talking about what they’d do with the extra cash after they raised tax. Nobody was interested in cutting tax.

    Another reason I left.

    They genuinely didn’t see that, compared to England, Scotland is a hardship posting. They should be paying pople more or taxing folk less to keep them there. Well, with over half of all expenditure public sector expenditure they’re certainly paying them more. I just didn’t fancy paying for it all.

    So we left.

  48. 48
    The Layber Pahtee says:

    Nothing to see here. Move along now.

  49. 49
    Col. Nut says:

    The Met. are preparing a warrant for the arrest of Dick Turpin.

  50. 50
    Hugh Janus says:

    Well said. We all knew that Brown was a bully-boy and a 5-star incompetent, and the fact that after 10 years of wrecking as chancellor his Liebour cronies put him there – and kept him there – speaks volumes for their decision-making abilities. Spineless, self-serving political pygmies, every one of them. Nothing changes.

  51. 51
    Hugh Janus says:

    Modded? You are clearly a closet socialist Guido. Get a grip man!

  52. 52
    Olaf says:

    Doesn’t blue on green with a bit of white = yellow?

    Must get my paint box out.

  53. 53
    Sir William Waad says:

    Well, the theory is that we have been protecting civilians against Gaddafi’s forces, so that bombing would not necessarily take place anywhere near rebel positions.

  54. 54
    nell says:

    So the tories want a scottish tory party, independent of the english one with a new name to differentiate.

    Ld foulkes has suggested something similar for the scottish labour party. Hope they also mean for scottish mp’s to only sit in the scottish parliament and leave the english one for english mp’s.

    Yes. Good thinking. The more independent scotland becomes the better. When can we stop funding scotland with our hard earned taxes??

  55. 55
    Anomalous says:

    This is probably a brilliant caricature of the scotch Tory bloke – unfortunately I have no idea what he looks like.

  56. 56
    Olaf the Bold says:

    Yeah, but it sounds good – and proves the UK still has money to spare.

  57. 57
    Sir William Waad says:

    When you think about it, you do not have a lot of freedom when you’re dead. Unless, of course, you enter a blissful afterlife.

  58. 58
    Baroness Twat of Twatland says:

    Bring back da Gordon.

    He sho’ am de’ massa fo’ me.

    An he am all da main MAN!

  59. 59
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Cartoons are meant to be funny.

    Still at least Rich and Mark are being consistant.

  60. 60
    Phoney B£liar, Leader of the most dysfunctional governments ever says:

    All my people licked up to me

  61. 61
    Aunt Mat says:

    The Darling campaign is brilliant.

    It draws attention to the fact that everyone BUT the Governor of the Bank of England, Sir Mervyn King has lost their job.

    This guy is still in post – WHY?

  62. 62
    Anonymus says:

    I couldnt recognise any scottish tory anyway. unless it was Malcolm Rifkind, and I can’t even remember his name any more.

  63. 63
    misterned says:

    I remember in the run-up to the election whenever a labour minister was asked about Brown, or any splits or challenges, they all lied their asses off and claimed that all was well in the labour party and the rumours where media tittle tattle.

    Now, thanks to several books, with multiple sources, we know for certain that the labour front bench lied their assess off about the moron at the top, Brown, and publicly stated that he was the best person to lead labour and the country into the election.

    They all said it. They all lied. Why should we believe anything they say?

  64. 64
    Polly says:

    Because we stuffed rolled up copies of the Grauniad up their arses

  65. 65
    Sir William Waad says:

    I think we need the kind of moral regeneration that the early Victorians attempted. We can do without the prudery, although a retreat from rutting like monkeys on crystal would be helpful. Nevertheless, one of the triumphs of that period was that the ruling classes became convinced that they had to tone it down about, behave themselves rather more, set an example and put something back into society. If not, they risked revolution.

    The disconnection between the modern ruling class and the rest of the people – working, middle and claimant class – has gone beyond the point where we can safely ignore it.

  66. 66
    Guy Martin to win TT2012 says:

    The missiles were already there – that’s not “money to spare” (unless we choose to replace them immediately)

  67. 67
    The BBC says:

    Schools that are free of state control are also free of our control. This is very serious indeed.

    Give them just a bit of freedom and they will be teaching the kids that AGW is not a proven science.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    Airmen and soldiers are paid wether they’re on operations or sat at home. We can’t really count this as a ‘cost’.

  69. 69
    misterned says:

    Not mentioned on the BBC website front-page either, or their politics page. Now if there had been a revelation that Cameron was the godfather of one of Murdoch’s family, then the BBC would be running with nothing else.

    The fact that all the hacking took place in a labour supporting paper when labour were in power and there were very close links between the Murdoch’s and the Blair’s is irrelevent. Apparently Cameron employing someone who lied about what he did in a previous job is far more serious.

    I guess every employer, state and private, who has ever employed someone who lied about their past, should resign then.

    Has the BBC never employed someone who lied about their past?

  70. 70
    Anonymus says:

    Need to try them out before they become too old.

  71. 71
    Nemo says:

    Maybe they thought the only way get rid of the immoveable Brown was to say “Yes Gordon was the best to lead them” as they knew they would lose the election if Brown lead them, then they could get rid.

  72. 72
    McRight says:

    Can’t see any right party succeeding in Jockland. The Scotch are now totally dependent on state handouts.

  73. 73
    Ah! Monika says:

    What’s the problem. drag your mouse over the cartoon and ait tells you who it’s supposed to be. Technology explains all.

  74. 74
    Anonymus says:

    Its the first rule of party politics.
    loyalty: Don’t let the public know you don’t agree with each other.

  75. 75
    Bogeyman says:

    A first I thought it was a car insurance ad before realising it was a plug for Whyte & Mackay’s.

  76. 76
    meme says:

    why should he loose his job – his job was to watch the banks and ensure they did not loose the plot – then along came GB and said no the bank of englands job is now as an independant body (remember this bit?) and to only focus on inflation target….

    and FSA will watch banks….

    and when banks went overboard – King was right – dont spend too much or inflation will be very big issue

    even darling says he though king tooo focused on inflation – well someone has to be focused on inflation – or recovery will become inflation led depression and long term recession.

    you cannot print money forever….

    king has his job because – uk leading way out of this crisis at present, while others germany, greece, usa – heading into it.

  77. 77
    Mervyn King says:

    1. I am good at transferring blame.

    2. Everyone is in awe of economists, even though we can’t actually achieve any results – rather like doctors in 1811, in fact.

  78. 78
    Puzzled of Epping says:

    Who’s Murdo Fraser?

  79. 79
    Nemo says:

    Now then Phoney B’Liar how many would that be after the first 2/3 years, people were starting to get wise, you were only in power because of the distaste of the opposition by the electorate.

  80. 80
    Sophie says:

    Can we have a new English Conservative Party please?

    This one seems hell bent on carrying on New Labours cultural genocide against the English & our land.

    The English countryside is not safe with Rusty Dave Cameron.

    Blue Labour out.

  81. 81
    misterned says:

    AGW isn’t proven. In fact it has got so bad that the cAGW alarmist crowd have now given up any pretence of sticking to the scientific method and now refute papers in blogs and in the media instead of writing honest, open and proper scientific papers to refute sceptical, peer reviewed papers. They highlight this with a headline grabbing resignation of one of their acolytes. Editor-in-Chief of the journal Remote Sensing, Wolfgang Wagner resigned because he felt that his Journal should not have published the work of Spencer & Braswell. This followed much criticism from the alarmist lobby, that a sceptical paper passed peer-review.

    Trenberth et al have been shown to be totally incapable of sticking to science and allowing the empirical evidence lead their discoveries, because the empirical evidence does not correspond with what their computer models have been programmed to say. SO they have now taked to ad-hominem attack instead.

    The resignation of a journal’s editor, is NOT a proper, nor scientific way to refute a properly, peer-reviewed paper. The Spencer & Braswell paper went through appropriate and proper peer review, it passed and was published.

    Spencer & Braswell still await any paper to refute their findings, but as of today, there has been none.

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    AT last election, Tories in Scotland suggested an Independant Scotland wouldn’t get into the EU. Result? A flood to the SNP… says it all really.

  83. 83
    Gonk says:

    In common with my most of my customers Fawkes,
    take 90 days to pay and when they insist say
    you haven’t had the goods.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    I wish I was as clever as you.

    You should be in this government too, a left of centre Fabian, just like Dave and George. You would get on well.

  85. 85
    OTT BSkyB says:

    I think Sky is somewhat over the top with their breaking news of a stockpile of guns discovered in sarf london. As it turns out to be an old carrier bag containing a couple of flintlock and very flare pistols. Admittedly these weapons can be modified for other purposes but it is hardly a stockpile of guns.

  86. 86
    albacore says:

    I wonder whether Dave’s seen this jolly fine cartoon yet? May we expect to be inspired by The Leader’s Thoughts on this bombshell?
    Nah, he’s probably still analysing the potential political fallout from last week’s Beano.

  87. 87
    misterned says:

    What is wrong with people in this country. With the current revelations from hack-gate in which labour supporting media hacked people’s phones, When the relationship between the Murdoch Media and the labour government was so close that Blair was Godfather to one of Murdoch’s kids.

    On Libya, Labour were so friendly with Gaddafi, they, not only turned a blind eye to torture, but that had our intelligence services get involved in it to prop-up Gaddafi. And as papers released in the submissions to an American court prove, the Labour Government had knowledge of and participation in rendition flights.

    On party politics itself, A. Darling has now admitted what most people knew, (but the BBC and the rest of the media would not report at the time) that the top of the labour party was involved in an internal civil war for the last 2 years, due to Brown’s idiotic incompetence and that now Brown’s two most trusted MPs are now occupying the top two places in the labour party, people who both wanted to INCREASE government spending further.

    AND the Labour party STILL have only a blank piece of paper for policy, having rejected EVERY cut the coalition government have made, yet they still cannot name one area where they would have made cuts.

    Yet they are still on average 3 points in the lead in the opinion polls.

    WTF are labour supporters thinking?

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Sorry if causes offence I’m a “little Horse”this morning

  89. 89
    misterned says:

    Again, typical BBC reportage, headline the increase in bonus of 187% but leave the factual context of that being over a decade, to lower down. Labour voters do not have the attention span to read the whole thing and knee-jerk on the increase.

    How much has your average council tax bill gone up over the last 10 years? Much more than 187%. Which party in government has frozen council tax bills? The tories.

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    yet another left of centre Fabian

  91. 91
    Quantrill says:

    Does your theory apply to nuclear missiles as well?

  92. 92
    Quantrill says:

    Are you saying that the cost of the Libyan intervention is being borne by the defence budget?

  93. 93
    Quantrill says:

    And, of course, our bombs don’t kill civilians do they?

  94. 94
    Englishman In A Foreign Land says:

    My belt is so fucking tight my toes have turned blue.

  95. 95
    misterned says:

    A) UN resolution 1973 is aimed at protecting civilians (from the evil that is Gaddafi’s Regime) That means bombing the shit out of whatever military capability he may have. Scud Missiles have a range that can hit anywhere in Libya. Therefore 1973 DOES cover this action.

    B) Cost. The UK’s contribution to this whole campaign’s cost has been met from standard MOD contingency reserves and, to put it into perspective, amounts to less than one afternoon’s worth of Labour’s record Deficit!

    Do you have any more stupid statements you would like me to debunk, Quantrill?

  96. 96
    Quantrill says:

    Curious logic, Paveway 4 for instance has only just been purchased. Storm Shadow is supposed to be necessay to defend the UK. Now there appears to be only a handful left. Perhaps we did not need them after all?

  97. 97
    gildedtumbril says:

    Climate change/global warming is just a load of methane laced with water vapor. All ballox.
    Is there anyone out there who realises that when filling up with tax it is perfectly legal to be charged for 10 gallons while delivered of only9?
    Never! It is true.It dates back to the days when fuel pumps were grossly inaccurate.
    Today, fuel pumps can be set to 9.99% short measure, and are.It is legal. What bloody use are the AA and the RAC?

  98. 98
    gildedtumbril says:

    …and another thing…That bastard darling is not even as smart as a meercat.
    Arseholes, incompetant arseholes in government cannot even count with a calculator.
    They are as thick as porridge. (with salt or sugar or both.)

  99. 99
    Stephen Schneider says:

    Cough cough Is the hockey stick caused by noise? cough cough

  100. 100
    PMK says:

    Yes “cultural genocide” against the English … have you taken your medication today dear?!

    Nevermind the multiple times that Tory scum have been imposed on Scotland, Wales and the North with almost no-one there voting for them. If you’re looking for a real democratic deficit there it is.

    The Tory Party has effectively been the English Nationalist Party for years, how else do you explain Thatcher, Major, Hague, IDS, Cameron, Osbourne and Boris?!

  101. 101
    tube_thumper says:

    hahahahaha brilliant

    these fucking cartoons are better than the bad bits on the x factor.

    mark and whats name true legends in the worst cartoon ever hall of fame

  102. 102
    Anon says:

    Must be the first time despite being in Holyrood for Twelve years that someone’s drawn a cartoon of Fraser ad a good one at that.

    Still he’s a better choice than the rug muncher who Cameron supports

  103. 103
    Quantrill says:

    I suppose you believe in fairies too?

  104. 104
    Anonymous says:

    Disambiguation.* Life’s a pile of shit, and every day you get up there’s a Fresh pile*

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,715 other followers