September 2nd, 2011

Labour Still Picking Up The Bill

When Labour launched their defence procurement review back in December last year, they announced their “Review Team” which included:

“Bill Thomas, former Senior Vice President and General Manager (EMEA) for Hewlett-Packard Company.”

Like with Michael Dugher yesterday, it’s the not the immediate past job that raises eyebrows…

Hewlett Packard bought our old friends EDS in 2008 and Bill Thomas was Senior Vice President EMEA when Micahel Dugher joined the company as their top UK lobbyist in 2006. Now Dugher is leading the same review into defence procurement, which is set to take into consideration:

  • How can we achieve Value for Money for all programmes?
  • How can we prevent scope creep and programme delay?
  • How can we ensure future delivery of equipment programmes are to time and on budget? 

Given Bill Thomas has been brought in for his expertise in the field, let’s have a little look at his track record in regard to delays and budgets. In 2006 RAF servicemen didn’t get paid for six weeks after EDS botched the implementation of new software. The £456 million Child Support Agency system, built by EDS, had “five hundred faults in the three years after it went live”. The Agency ended up manually inputting 36,900 cases as a result of an EDS IT failure. In 2003, Bill himself took full responsibility for a Revenues and Customs IT disaster that shafted the Inland Revenue. It is widely considered to be the worst government IT cock-up ever. EDS had to pay-out £70 million in compensation for the mess, but negotiated further government work before paying up. Guido could go on, but you get the picture…

When profiled by the Telegraph in 2007, Thomas said “if things go well it’s not interesting” and he certainly made that his motto. Guido can see very little reason Bill Thomas has anything to do with trying to coordinate successful procurement. Other than being Michael Dugher’s mate, obviously…

See Also: Ed’s PPS and MoD Lobbying Links and Dugher’s Defence.


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    This is shocking or is it?

    It seems the norm now.


    yorkierosie profile

    yorkierosie RT @TheIndyNews Gordon Brown issues challenge over Sunday Times recordings -The Indep..

  2. 2
    I. P. Daley says:

    I’d comment if I knew what the fuck you were talking about.

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    At what cost would a clean parliament be?

    Only people with no vioce in parliament are taxpayers.

    are they inbreed for corruption, how can you get so many crooks working in one building?

  4. 4
    Sniper says:

    New Labour, Old Chums.

    Were they picked from an all-hoons shortlist?

  5. 5
    U. P. Daley ? says:

    It’s all there in red, blue and b l a c k you monger.

  6. 6
    Lord Stansted says:

    In Thomas’s own words, he’s “a recognised authority in IT-enabled business transformation, programme and change management.”

    Not a shrinking violet then. The egos and self-importance of public figures never cease to amaze me.

  7. 7
    Ed Balls esq. says:

    What are we paying these guys?

  8. 8
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Celtic to be reinstated to the Europ Legue ( appe*l withstanding).

  9. 9
    Iron Bru says:

    Do yiou have a link?

  10. 10
    lol! says:

    He sounds like a self-important pompous wanker.

  11. 11
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    In group with Rennes, Alethitco Madrid and Udenise.

  12. 12
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Just broken on Sky sports News, not on website yet, try Uefa website.

  13. 13
    Stinkfinger says:

    When my local council lost £4 million in the Iceland bank fiasco I found out the cu*t in charge of finance earned 70K a year.
    I could have fucked it up for 25K a year.

  14. 14
    Iron Bru says:


  15. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    SAVE MONEY on expensive sex lines by calling the Samaritans and saying: ” talk dirty or I’ll kill myself.”

  16. 16
    East India Company wallah says:

    Out again then

  17. 17
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Dugher, Thomas, how many more. Where is Mandleson getting the £8 million from.
    How many ex labour MPs or ex ministry personnel have got high paid jobs. Anybody out there got a list that could be posted?

  18. 18
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    it gets better, Rangers owe HMRC 2.7 million in upaid tax :-)

  19. 19
    Newbie says:

    What is the point of posting a link. Don’t you have any thought process of your own?

  20. 20
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Should this be ‘Delboy Dugher’ .

  21. 21
    I accidentally went cottaging says:

    “Where is Mandleson getting the £8 million from.”

    I can only think of sucking young men’s cocks for money!

  22. 22
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Cant you read?

    The post is in two small parts , one a link to bonkers Brown and a comment on corruption which is now the norm.

    Google specsavers.

  23. 23
    LM 03 HGF says:

    Save money on expensive cherished number plates and change your name

  24. 24
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:,,11787_7145026,00.html


  25. 25
    Vince Cable's secret offshore account says:

    This sounds about right, incompetence, failure and Labour.

  26. 26
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    What about this one

    Stick yur head up your arse and fuck off to swaziland.

  27. 27
    Sir William Waad says:

    Rumour has it that, during the contract with HM Revenue & Customs, Revenue staff became fed up with working alongside EDS types who were not only being paid more than them for the same job, but boasted that they were being paid through offshore ‘umbrella company’ scams so as to evade National Insurance.

  28. 28
    Jen from the IT Crowd says:

    IT stands for Internet Thingies.

  29. 29
    Sir William Waad says:

    Business transformation: what Fred Goodwin did to RBS.

  30. 30
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    My take on the price of gold

    “I get how it’s a safe bet etc. But who needs gold nowadays
    apart from gypsies and pirates?”

  31. 31
    A snot-nosed, lying, whining, cheating c*nt, in fact typical LieBore, - and led it (once) says:

    I shall make a statement to the House detailing the full extent of the contracts laid down by LieBore in my first class time in office.

    I shall also lay down details of those who lay down

    1. in the Missionary position

    2. the impossible position

    3. the invidious position

    I myself am not able to give any details of my position – or my choice of biscuit.

    You can tell by the smirks on our faces that I can however, tell the house that my party and I are squeaky clean, – look at our hands!

    And now, I will give a demonstration of that weird jaw movement I do when I’m lying.

  32. 32
    F. A. Ecal says:

    Ohhh mmmm – do you mean that!

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Cherie Blair blasted for being ‘unduly lenient’ when she refused to jail £140,000 cocaine smuggler
    Decision on drugs case was ‘a startling result’ say appeal judges
    Sentence quashed and dealer jailed for three and a half years

    Read more:

  34. 34
    anonymous says:

    any relation?

    Brazil’s finance minister Guido Mantega has said that another round of “quantitative easing” in the US will prolong the global currency war and create “problems” for Brazil.

  35. 35
  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Is it not bleedin’ well obvious that all these c’unts are in it together. They do deals, they make pacts, they sign contracts that always benefit them. And we the fuckin’ stupid taxpayers just keep on footing the bill.

    It doesn’t matter what party or affiliation they belong to – they are all the fuckin’ same. And they always win. And we always lose. It doesn’t have to be this way but we have to take action not just mutter inanities under our breath FFS

  37. 37
  38. 38
    BillyBob... says:

    Just a bunch of C U N T S !!!

  39. 39
    It's all Balls says:

    Guido, you have been too long away from the business world. We need Government IT projects to support local businesses like Ferrari and Dom Perignon.

  40. 40
    BillyBob... says:

    That is disgusting talk…… belongs in the back passage !!

  41. 41
    nell says:

    Is it not curious that labour in oppostion are undertaking a Defence procurement Review but seem completely unable to formulate any day to day policies in respect of the economy or health or education?

  42. 42
    annette curton says:

    EDS Miliband?.

  43. 43
    8 Ace - £1.49 says:

    EDS fuck up time and again and yet were awarded public contract after public contract under Blair and Bruin. Painfully obvious cocks were being swallowed but no other bugger ever got a look-in, apart from the monkey stuff that paid peanuts.

  44. 44
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Have not you read? They have a policy on the econemy, no cuts , its in the Mail.

  45. 45
    Labour says:

    Only the horrid baby eating Tories do things like that. We’re whiter than white.

  46. 46
  47. 47
    Diane Abbott says:


  48. 48
    Larry the Cat says:

    Wait till I get my claws into them.

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    In case you didn’t know what EDS stands for, in IT circles:

    Everything done shit.

  50. 50
    Bobby says:

    On defence savings

    Save the Gurkhas

    And abolsh the House of Ermin Vermin

    If you want value for money from honest people…

  51. 51
    Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

    Bill Thomas is more of a John Thomas

    His achievements are almost as impressive as Ed Balls and Charlie Falconer. Even Brown and Blair struggle to beat this record of success.

    It’s a good job Labour always select such winners – just look at great party unionification job Ed Miliband and Tom Baldwin are doing!

  52. 52
  53. 53
    Bobby says:

    O/T New Labour

    I find it astonishing given the moral collapse caused by New Labour that this woman is still allowed to sit as a judge

    Her husband should be judged first of all

  54. 54
    William says:

    That’s the end of QPR then :-(

  55. 55
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    No, Rangers in Scotland not Quarter Pound Rubbish.

  56. 56
    lol! says:

    You believe the MSM? You’re even more fucking retarded than I had previously given you credit for.

  57. 57
    Sir William Waad says:

    At £2 each.

  58. 58
    Please view this short clip and understand why we kicked Nazi arse! says:

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Michael Dugher looks very proud of his enormous horn.

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    I guess its along the lines of Gordon Browns claims of being the right man to sort out the Financial Crises at the last General Election

  61. 61
    Roy from the IT crowd says:

    Has he tried switching it off and on again?

  62. 62
    nell says:

    ah. spend spend spend. no need for cuts .

    economically illiterate labour. good to see them confirming their incompetence.

  63. 63
    Moss of the IT Crowd says:

    This is terrible! Millions of chavs get extra Tax Credit that they never pay back and spend on fruit machines in Benidorm.

  64. 64
    M says:

    Yep another throw back to the labour disaster that blights us all .
    I got married a few weeks ago & my honeymoon is over .
    Bitching about labour ( although therapeutic ) is too easy .
    I feel we need policies that get the millions on benefits back to work .
    Here goes , getting back to work costs a fuck load of money . If you’ve got to buy a car to get work it’ll cost a fuck load of money on insurance , petrol & general maintenance .
    So if you want to get back to work a tax break is needed but one that keeps them in work .
    Business get the same tax breaks in their set up cost, Give individuals the same tax break not only will it cut the welfare bill but it will give them their self respect.

    PS get rid of Vince Cable!

  65. 65
    Gordon king of Scotland says:

    thats my boys all aboard the gravy train express I thank you

  66. 66
    Vince Cable says:

    No austerity without significant banking reform!

    Separate casino investment banks from retail banks.


  67. 67
    Gordon king of Scotland says:

    4 million rogerings sounds a bit dramatic Sir Waad

  68. 68
    Gordon king of Scotland..silly old buggers division says:

    calm down dear

  69. 69
    Nokia Recovery Services..... says:

    fat slag of a darkish hue

  70. 70
    Adolf Hitler's foot says:

    If you kicked that fat boy up the arse you’d lose your foot!

  71. 71
    Eva Precious Brick of Love says:

    save Ghurkas harpoon a honda

  72. 72
    pedal and surf says:


  73. 73
    Bill Thomas says:

    That and everything done shittily

    In December 2003, EDS lost a 10-year £3 billion contract to run Inland Revenue IT services after a series of serious delays in the payment of tax credits, the contract instead being awarded to the company Cap Gemini. EDS had operated systems for the Inland Revenue since 1994 but the performance of its system had been low, causing late arrival of tax credit payments for hundreds of thousands of people.

  74. 74
    Bernd Bore says:

    Don’tcha know, he’s rogered everyone in the UK!

  75. 75
    IT one two eight says:

    hes unsrewed it cleaned the terminals and reassembled the main board…just completing the first run

  76. 76
  77. 77
    M says:

    Bleed the benefit system or open a bank

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Sounds like a quiet night in for Mandy, Gordo and Blair.


  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    CAP are no better, all these outsourcing companies are esentially over paid simpletons.


  80. 80
    Gewyne says:

    So who is paying for this ? I was under the impression Labour were cash strapped, so why even bother with this charade ?

  81. 81
    A Fundamental Law says:

    Young boys that DON’T want their fundament fingered and worse by MandleSlime pay him to go away.

    That’s how he affords y’kno, – his big cottage.


  82. 82
    Grodon Bwron says:

    That’s how we did it – same as PPP and all the other scams – take it off the books.

    Ye mus’ admit, – ah’m a clev’r bugga’

    Well . .

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Your inclusion of the word “working” is erronious Billy.

  84. 84
    I'll sum it up for you says:

    Labour are an incompetent shower of bastards.

  85. 85
    Sports Editor says:

    Bulgaria 0 England 2 half time

    the Bulgarian team for the second half is as follows:


  86. 86
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    ‘Tis true (having worked there at the time) but it’s really not EDS, Cap Gemini or Fujitsu etc. we should be blaming – they’re just commercial traders.

    The real fault lies with the utterly incompetent contract managers at HMRC who are incapable of understanding that when you are a ‘customer’ spending billions with a ‘supplier’, that gives you certain rights to beat the shit out of that supplier to make sure they deliver the goods from Day 1 to contract end.

    Instead, the HMRC ‘hot-shots’ merely seek a quiet life, leading to their cosy pensions, lubricated along the way with as many corporate freebies as they and their wives/partners can manage to fit in along the way, hence their continuing acceptance of crap service, over-charging and upwards contract adjustments in-flight.

    Who cares if the contract’s crap ? No-one ever gets fired, the Project Managers get an OBE, the wives get to Wimbledon, so the game continues. ‘Twas ever thus.

  87. 87
    D L George says:

    Sorry if this has already been mentioned…

    Cameron having a go at Aunty about them peddaling left wing ideals. Bout bloody time.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    How Mandleson became rich and powerful is a mystery. Weird bloke.

  89. 89
    The Bloody Brown Brotherhood of C*nts says:

    We at the Brotherhood recognise that truth is relative thingy, – y’kno, like it’s sort of . . . round us . . . a bit like the states of matter .. y’kno . . like wot they do at CERN ‘n stuff . . we dun a progy ’bout that las’ week ‘n that ‘Gordon, he’s like a Ftahre ‘n Brother tyo us . . we like worship the bowl he pees in ‘n that . . ‘n . . duz that help? mus’ fly ducky!

  90. 90
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So Guido i see you could not respond my question about hypocrcy, Maybe you have become the thing you once exposed.

    How are your double stantards different to Polly Toynbees?

  91. 91
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The children used to respect (with a little bit of fear) the teacher, now the teacher fears the children.

  92. 92
    Dr Donothing says:

    Troughing, thieving, incompetence, corruption, political graft, pork and the deliberate holding back of our country’s efficient administration.

    Nothing to worry about. Vote as you always do.

  93. 93
    nell says:

    Have to laugh at the headline Guido.

    labour picking up the bill!!

    They didn’t even pick up their own bar bills in the HoP before the last election and haven’t paid them since!!

    Running up debt and spending other people’s money – it’s the only thing labour knows.

  94. 94
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Labour, been screwing the working class for a hundred years.

    Good poster/soundbite for next election….

  95. 95
    Dr Donothing says:

    He’s a bit of a podger.

  96. 96
    Arsenal Fan (crying) says:

    You forgot their manager: Ivan Astichestikov.

  97. 97
    Dr Donothing says:

    I despised half of them. Still, they did actually teach – and, also, they knew stuff – latin, history, geography, maths etc. They’d got degrees in their subjects in days when degrees meant something.

  98. 98
    Red Ed says:

    Fuck you Fawkes. Lining our own pockets is what labour does best.

  99. 99
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I never finished my education (not a classroom type), but the teacher had control and parents were involved, now the parents leave it to the teachers then the teachers leave it to socail services then they pass it on to police etc.

    Personal responsabilty has been made illegale.

  100. 100
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Are Labour and the BBC trying to put whgat Dave done and compare it to the riots?

  101. 101
    nell says:

    Good Lord Guido what word have you modded , surely it’s not d e a r ?

  102. 102
    nell says:


    allow me to borrow your moniker, trust me :-)

    Billy Bowden

  103. 103
    nell says:

    Too true Bill!!

    My d e a r old Dad who came from solid bl@cksmith stock and was r e a l hard working class to his core used to tell us , ‘if you want to be free never vote labour and never join a union’!

  104. 104
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    See up thread ;-)

  105. 105
    nell says:

    Too true Bill!!

    My father who came from blacksmith stock used to tell us ,”‘if you want to be free never vote labour and never join a union”

  106. 106
    nell says:

    Guido why is bl@cksmith a modded word?

    Please tell me you are not being politically correct for the likes of hattieharpic.

    What on earth else are we supposed to call proper bl@cksmith’s – that’s a ridiculous mod!!

  107. 107
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guidos blog, Guidos rules.

  108. 108
    nell says:

    To the real Bill. Thanks.

  109. 109
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    No worries , glad to help :-)

  110. 110
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido, you been caught out, you dont pratice what you preach.

    You can delete this but “Man up”

    You might find yourself in the same class as Polly.

  111. 111
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    This was the question

    You deleted because it was off topic on a diiferent tread, fine, but what you tweet and what you pratice are not the same.

  112. 112
    Larry the Cat for PM says:

    I’m surprised Guido hasn’t done a thread on the mother of a murder victim who spoke after her daughter’s killer was sentenced today. She said in her statement she’d like to see capital punishment restored. I don’t agree but it probably help Guido’s petition.

  113. 113
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    It didnt go down to well here….

  114. 114
    NoirSmith says:

    How’s this?

  115. 115
    A Shade darker than dark grey Smith says:

    this get through?

  116. 116
    And finally . . . a really really REALLY DARK-NIGHT-SMITH says:

    so dark you couldn’t see a n*gger in a wood pile smith

  117. 117
    the trouble is . . . the trouble is says:

    CMD believes the stuff the BBC puts out – it’s like a thing that goes round and round – is he that stupid?

    Actually, I know the answer.

  118. 118
  119. 119
    A respondent to Nell says:

    These salutations are buggers sometimes, – how about ‘most precious’ or ‘Treasured, precious and cherished one’ ?

    I’d like that as an opening from my local VD clinic – sorry that should be changed to Subscriber Trunk Dialling to save the blushes of those of sensitive and nervous disposition.

  120. 120
    Mzzzz. Hatty 'Mad' HaHaHaPerson (always good for a larf) says:

    Anyone like to pull my noodle?

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Fuck off Bowden – if you want to ask the questions, then publish your own blog and see how many people bother to read it. Your constant infection of this blog is very wearing. I am constantly disappointed that all your comments are not deleted.

  122. 122
  123. 123
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    If you dont lick it please feel free to take a full refund and fuck off

  124. 124
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    etc etc – all the stupid lines that I trot out becasue I am an uneducated dumb fuck

  125. 125
    Billy's dirty arse says:

    You are a total aresewipe

  126. 126
    nell says:

    Bl@cksmith in french is Forgeron

  127. 127
    nell says:

    labour are trying to say the trashing and looting of london is no more than the high jinks of some uni lads?!!

    It just shows how out of touch with reality labour are.

  128. 128
  129. 129
    Moderator says:

    Bowden, if you don’t like what happens on this blog, please feel free to take a full refund and fuck off. This is not your blog and you don’t make the rules.

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    he was joking you uneducated dumb fuck

  131. 131
  132. 132
    albacore says:

    Those who can, do.
    Those who can’t and have demonstrated time and again not only what not to do but how, nevertheless, to charge an even higher price for it, must surely be possessed of the very knowledge required here.
    Mind you, teaching Labour about Murphy’s Law is like giving Wee Jimmy Brown lessons in gurning.

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    What the fuck are you doing still online – is the security booth open late tonight.

  134. 134
    nell says:

    Good night Bill.

  135. 135
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  136. 136
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    nite nell – its bean fun :)

  137. 137
    Moderator says:

    I knew you would check the link – ha ha ha fucking ha – what a huhne you are.

  138. 138

    Dont worry, one day you will finish puberty.

  139. 139
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  140. 140
    Billy's dirty arse says:

    ha, ha, ha fucking ha – maybe one day you will finish your education and get out of the security booth you sad old tosser.

  141. 141
    Billy's dirty arse says:

    i still can’t beleive that you followed the link – what a huhne

  142. 142
  143. 143

    Oh and just to let you know i never clicked on the link.

    And, i dont laugh with you , i laugh at you.

  144. 144
    Larry the Cat for PM says:

    I shouldn’t really be spending my Fri night like this but I’m back from drinks, feeling tipsy, and now watching Secret World of Whitehall on bbc2. A Michael Cockrell documentary about the Cabinet Secretary. Not bad so far actually.

  145. 145
    Bogeyman says:

    Why would Labour want a “defence procurement review team” anyway? They know eff all about anything, least of all defence procurement.

    Pompous assholes.

  146. 146
    Larry the Cat for PM says:

    Very interesting stuff. Watch on iplayer if you missed it.

  147. 147
    Billy is a complete and utter twat says:

    You are such a complete and utter twat Billy your shitstained comments make my eyes bleed

  148. 148

    What does PST stand for?

    Pacific Standard Time?
    Personal Storage Table?
    Psychology Software Tools?
    Please Send Tell?
    Please Show Tits?
    P*k*stan Standard Time?
    Personal Solar Telescope?
    Prison Service Trust?
    Production Systems Technologies?

    Polly Stinking Toynbee.

    Good one, Guido!

  149. 149
    Muzzltov says:

    …and the substitute goalie Bogov

  150. 150
    albacore says:

    As we’re discussing flawed defence contracts, I wonder if Dapper Dave will do a Milo Minderbinder and lease the UN some hi-tech RAF jets to bomb the British government into submission.

  151. 151
    Editor says:

    it actually looks like nobody’s discussing very much

  152. 152
    Marmite says:

    To the last blogger and his trashy, bullying cohorts………….stop bullying/copying Billy!. Get a life AND some manners – pigdog!

  153. 153
    makes sense says:

    why not debate the increasingly fascist behaviour of the coalition in this country and the EU in another fucking planet

  154. 154
    Anonymous says:

    A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an immigrant claimant outside the Social Security Offices.
    ‘My good man,’ the fairy said,
    ‘I’ve been told to grant you three wishes,
    Since you’ve just arrived in England with your wife and seven children.’

    The man told the fairy:
    ‘Well, where I come from we don’t have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.’
    The fairy looked at the man’s almost toothless grin and — PING !!!
    He had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

    ‘What else?’ asked the fairy, ‘two, more wishes, to go’.
    The refugee claimant now got bolder.
    ‘I need a big house with a three car garage in Birmingham with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in my country.
    I want to bring them all over here.
    PING ! – In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music.

    ‘One more wish left for you’, said the fairy, waving her wand.

    I want to be English with English clothes instead of rags, and shawl and I want to have white skin like the English.’

    PING ! – The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans from ASDA, a dirty Primark T-shirt and a greasy baseball cap.
    He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
    ‘What happened to my new teeth?’ he wailed.
    ‘Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?’

    The fairy said. .
    ‘Tough luck. Now that you are English, you’re entitled to

    Sweet f*** all like the rest of us.

  155. 155
    TwatWatch says:

    LieBore knew how to screw the UK well enough!

    (Thinks – did they screw Scotland? )

    I’ll replace the first line with

    LieBore knew how to screw the UK ENGLAND well enough!

  156. 156
    An Admirer of Forgerons says:

    Sorry if I’ve got the plural of forgeron wrong Nell, – but please forward my admiration to the good man.

    And if he has passed on, may he rest in peace.

    Always love to see a craftsman at work, – and I’ll add his advice to that me dear old Dad gave me.

  157. 157
    Ex-Conservative voter says:

    If the pie key scum from Ire land don’t like our planning-laws, the pie key scum sub-humans should f-off back to Ire land.

    Why is the coward and traitor CMD pratting about? It’s his job to deal with this.

  158. 158
    Desperate Dan says:

    The BBC spent yesterday telling us that British involvement in Libya costs too much and is a waste of money.

    I think public spending on the University of Coventry, when they put on bullshit courses like this one for the benefit of public sector parasites, is a waste of money:

    Postgraduate Certificate in Community Cohesion Management
    Postgraduate Diploma in Community Cohesion Management
    MA in Community Cohesion Management

  159. 159
    F*ck the Pie Keys and all the Yoomun Rights scum, also Cherry Bliar and her scum says:

    Quite right, Pie Keys should have been chased off years ago, and CMD should be ashamed of himself. Silly sod!

    When will there be a real man in place?

  160. 160
    F*ck the Pie Keys and all the Yoomun Rights scum, also Cherry Bliar and her scum says:

    F*ck Community Cohesion “Courses” too!


  161. 161
    Desperate Dan says:

    There are fewer troughing opportunities for Labour now that they’re in opposition and there are fewer bribery opportunities for the defence industry now that Labour are in opposition. Its a marriage made in hell.

  162. 162
    Lord Trombone. W says:

    Dorries is coming under pressure to reveal how her allies are funded. One of the most vocal public supporters of the Right to Know campaign backing the Dorries amendment to the healthcare bill is the lobby group Christian Concern, which is linked to a wealthy US evangelical organisation, the Alliance Defence Fund.


  163. 163
    Desperate Dan says:

    Polly says socialists are lovely, kind, wholesome people. I would guess that she’s never read Comment is Free – or indeed The Guardian.

  164. 164
    Funny how she refers to her "husband" by his full name. What genuine spouse does that? says:

  165. 165


    He does not even do his own, maybe he should resign so one of the unemployed can have his safe seat and Gordon can then do his charity work.

  166. 166
  167. 167
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    England win toss and put India into bat.

  168. 168
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    I see the American government are to sue Barclays and RBS
    they really must be broke and clutching at straws , as they are the fuckers who caused the banking crash by selling our stupid greedy banks all their toxic debt !

  169. 169
  170. 170
    Leslie Nielsen says:

    I’d just like to say we’re all counting on you Billy Bowden to continue showing yourself up to be the sad, sycophantic fuck you are.

  171. 171
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Hang on, dont WE own RBS?

    So the USA goverment is sueing our goverment?

  172. 172
    Daydream Believer says:

    You make a very valid point….I don’t usually agree with “McIdiot” but he was right when he said “It started in America !”…..The USA Congress labours under the mis-apprehension that they can sue who the hell they like and that American law rules the planet…although they themselves are not subject to the laws of other countries……and you wonder why not even their “friends” can stand their hubris ????

  173. 173
    Lanchester Lad says:

    A large percentage of Post Graduate courses are paid for by either the student or their employer NOT the taxpayer(councils especially locally where most of Coventry’s domestic post-grads students live……very few of post-grads on these courses live in halls…… have actually cut back drastically in funding their employees)In addition Coventry,like so many other universities relies on a high percentage of foreign students/graduates who pay the full fees themselves or their overseas government do.They also pay all accomodation costs.

    If you walk around Priory Row,Far Gosford Street,Cox Street etc where the campus is you will see that actually Coventry has a very high percentage of foreign post-grad and under-grads who subsidise UK students.

    However as to the subject matter you have hit the nail on the head as there are undoubtedly quite a few “spurious” courses but Coventry is no different to most other universities in this respect.It rather proves the point that going to university is no longer worthwhile unless you study a vocational subject such as engineering etc in which Coventry Uni excels historically….. prior to 1992 being the Lanchester Poly(then Coventry Poly)…as a university it was required under the 1992 act top expand its curriculum to get funding(again like other ex-polys)Whether the government should have encouraged technical colleges/polytechnics to evolve into universities and thus dilute the actual “University Degree” standard(?)is of course another matter and doubtless there will be many on both sides of the argument.

  174. 174
    Forlornehope says:

    I worked for a large private sector company that had outsourced its IT to EDS. I can truly say that I have never come across a more venal or incompetent company.

  175. 175
    oddly helpful says:

    Private security firms pay much better than HM Forces do. The Gurkhas’ reputation goes before them and it is hard to see that they will have any trouble at all getting work.

  176. 176
    The Sheikh Of Arabeee says:

    I knew this c u n t at school.

    Fucking loudmouthed fucking fat c u n t back then and he obviously hasn’t changed.

    Smashed up any more phoneboxes recently, Billy?

  177. 177
    The Sheikh Of Arabeee says:

    That fucking one-eyed fucking thief Drayson and now Big Fat Billy Thomas, the phone-box vandal of yore.

    The only thing they’re interested in procuring is more fucking money to line their own pockets.

  178. 178
    Night Owl (who has watched) says:

    here is an outline of the inexorable rise of a backstreet College in some provincial town – repeated many times throughout the country:

    “xx College ” > > “XX Polytechnic ” >> “University of blah de blah” = presumptuous purveyor of bullshit courses

    And with fair number of cod “doctors” of this, that, or the bloody other.

  179. 179
    Desperate Dan says:

    The course is aimed at the following:

    “-local authority Community Cohesion Officers
    -managers and team workers from the voluntary, community and private sectors with an interest in this area
    -individuals with a background in equal opportunities and diversity who may be looking to develop their role
    -professionals working in police, fire and rescue services, health, housing, planning, education and other services who need a deeper understanding of cohesion, equalities and diversity.

    They look like publicly funded parasites in non-jobs to me.

  180. 180
    Quantrill says:


  181. 181
    Crikey says:

    I wouldn’t trust this spiv to sweep up leaves. Whats going on?

  182. 182
    hazar says:

    Socialism fails when it runs out of other people’s money!

    These are possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read:

    1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

    2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

    3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

    4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

    5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

  183. 183
    Bill Thomas says:

    Isn’t it Cook these days?

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

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