It is understood that David Dimbleby is yet to sign his Question Time contract. He was said to be upset at the programme’s move to Glasgow—
Sunday Times News (@ST_Newsroom) September 01, 2011
There are plenty of candidates willing to step into his half-moon glasses and whacky ties. Pop your suggestions below and Guido will do a round up at some point…
Secret of Farage’s Success | Prospect
It Was Beeb Not Tabloids That Smeared Help For Heroes | Speccie
Alternatives to Business For Britain Are Muppets | Charlie Mullins
Obama Counsel Knew of IRS Claims Weeks Ago | WSJ
Bunga Bunga Trial: Dancing Girls, Nuns, Nurses & Obama | Reuters
Dave Must Learn From Conan the Barbarian | James Kirkup
Tory Infighting Will Let Miliband In | The Commentator
Real Swivel-Eyed Loons Are in Number Ten | Telegraph
Bozier Accepts Caution | Political Scrapbook
Getting to Know U-KIP | ConservativeHome
Farage Telegraph Advert | Political Scrapbook
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Tom Harris bemoans the public’s attitude to politicians…
“Mr Oborne echoes the lazy, anti-politics whine we hear so often these days, all based on the absurd notion that politicians were once loved and only fell out of public favour during the expenses scandal. He should take a walk to the Strangers’ Bar. But not to sup with the patrons he seems to despise so much, dearie me, no; he should instead look at the paintings on the corridor outside the bar, which depict the devastating fire which consumed most of the Palace in 1834. And he should reflect on the fact that on that dramatic night, as the Commons went up in flames, a crowd gathered on the South Bank to clap and cheer.”
” Evans, dear boy, Evans “
Good.
Fuck off, Dimblebore.
Mr. Dingleberry please..
Tory shills need not apply
You’ll have to beat Sally Bercow to it !!
Andrew Rawnsley
Should be a Glasgow Smile – the resulting scar might suit his ego.
I will never forget Jack Straw’s face on QT when Nick Griffin mentioned that his dad was an officer during the war and that Straw’s dad was an CO….a Conscientous Objector!
Priceless.
I’ll never forget the look on Nick Griffins face when Colonel Gadaffi didn’t give him any cash after he’d flown all the way to Libya to beg the muzzie findies there for donations.
Still, at least Gadaffi paid for Nick’s airfare with what ever money he had left over from funding irish terrorists, so he wasn’t too out of pocket.
He is only an instrument of the State any way so let him go, Greg Dyke the only man who used to work for the BBC and Got forced out for telling the Truth should host the Show, At least he might let some in the audience speak the Truth. Dingleberry will close any one down that questions the 911 Bull sh-t that the Gov want us to believe.
But the program is weekly and comes from differnt venue each week.
So the base has little to do with where the program is filmed… ?
Seems many commentators dont watch the programe ?
So Guido is seeking to send the great and the good from the commentariat to the hell hole that is Glasgow?
Billy Connelly would put some much needed sparkle into the show!
Simon Heffer
Paxman.
Jack Straw was also a Co at university, surprising how he was eager to commit UK to the Iraq war, he also was central in the release of the Libyan bomber deal with Scotland. What a pity he did not encourage his son Will to join up o and fight an illegal war, it might have done him some good rather than languishing about under his dad’s safety umbrella smoking dope. Thoroughly detestable person like his mentor Blair.
Jacqui Smith is a shoo-in.
Mr Bean?
Col Gaddafi?
You calling him a clip?
Straw also thinks that Che Guevera, the psychopathic mass murderer Castro had the sense to have assassinated, was a “hero of the people.” One really should question his sanity and his credentials to sit in parliament.
Do these geriatric leftist fuckers ever look in the mirror and think: “You know, espousing such views when I was 17 was cute. Now I sound like a complete dick, spitting on the graves of a million victims of ‘socialism’”
Don’t count you chickens yet. Dimby’s vain and he’ll never give it up. Just playing hard to get I reckon.
What’s THE POINT of QT? It’s a throwback to the days of radio. RT has something not dissimilar called ‘Crosstalk’, where talking heads appear via video link. No expensive outside broadcasts required.
Let Dimblebore’s replacement (Polly Twaddle, probably
) stay in London, the guests can pop into their local regional BBC station, and the audience can be a panel (untelevised) in a hotel conference room anywhere in the UK.
“The cemeteries of the world are full of indispensable men.” Charles de Gaulle
Apart from the minor damage to the BEEB, does anyone really give a shit if he fucks off and is never heard from again? Seriously – what has this overpaid poseur, whose career is built on nepotism, ever done that’s worth a hill of beans?
I agree.
I always knew he’d turn out to be a feckless fuckwit!
Shalom.
I enjoyed the BBC coverage the day after the UK council elections and the AV referendum, where he was ‘pwned’ for refusing to acknowledge that there is a big difference between the BBC’s forecast of the tories losing between 800 – 1200 seats and the actual result of the tories INCREASING their seats and that this was, in fact, a good night for the tories, whereas labour fell well short of what they needed to to in in England, were routed in Scotland and reduced to a small Welsh rump!
But but but who will pat Hattiet ~Harman’s arm gently when those horrid horrid working class oiks, who have not attended good schools, give her a hard time?
Dimby will soon be joining me in the Lords .
Bollocks,the Dumblebees have garnered plenty of stuff.
(not Dad who was GREAT)
+84 (or the percentage of Labour shills in the standard QT audience). Dingleberry can fuck off – ex Bullingdon, only got a gig because of his daddy, useless creep and fit for fuck all.
THE GUARDIAN sometime in the near future
MEDIA
Candidate required host Question Time. Salary: funded by the telly tax, so no worries there.
Ideal candidate: Must be a member of the Labour Party and show overt bias against all other political parties, apart from the Green Party & Socialist Workers Party. Must interview the Left and interrogate the Right. Or interrupt them as often as possible. Must accept audience packed with unrepresentative numbers of left wing students, ethnic groups and members of the Gay-Lesbian Transgender Alliance Rainbow Collective. Must have second or third homes and hail from North West London. Must be excited by violent revolution, militants (not terrorists, heaven forfend), must be black, gay, a woman and be disabled, read only the Guardian & Socialist Worker and hate Israel, America (apart from Obama voters) and enterprise, hard work, initiative and tax payers. Must sit on panel of six guests – five of them Left Wing and the sixth a hated Toff. Must goad the Toff and make Americans cry when they experience a tragic event like 9-11. Wearing a burka is optional.
Salary: the sky is the limit and expenses are fabulous. Vote Labour!!
That’ll be ken Livingston we presume
Not Lord Lardarse….croquet, anyone?
The Grim Reaper says it all. That is exactly what will happen.
The BBC will put a “BBC person” in charge.
Don’t waste your time dreaming about Jeff Randell or Brillo, my money is on John Prescott.
The perfect BBC candidate:
Lord Lardarse
Diane Abbott
Any ex Conservative transsexual Muslim
How about Alistair Tourettes Campbell?
Perfect. And he’s free at the mo.
I reckon Vanessa Redgrave is perfect. Wealthy, socialist and demented.
And injected with Gypsy genes.
You’ve got the job description down to a “t” Grim! Brilliant.
Thank you Rats arse. I will not be lowering my scythe near any rat’s nether regions for some time to come…..
Brillo – has to be. If not then Jeff Randall.
Choose me, – no don’t choose me, – just GIVE ME THE JOB!
It’s my destiny.
I was always really a Number Two
And a closet shirt lifter to book, you big Mad B*tch
Look! – just give me the f*ing job, – I’m the natural to take it on – I will answer all your questions, – like wot I do on wednesdays.
It will give me more air time.
PLEASEv PLEASE take every and ALL oportunities ( sic )
to diss this absolute piece of shit !!
(in or out of the news,kick him !)
Gordon Brown
Seconded.
It’ll never be Brillo, because he’d be far too good at it.
Far too unbiased, you mean.
Brillo would be a fantastic choice, but the BBC would never allow it. When is Cameron going to get off his fucking arse and start privatising them? It’s beyond a joke.
Spot on. Brillo for preference. Jeff Randall would at least be interesting.
Yep, Thats it then. Brillo it is.
By far the sharpest interviewer, does his homework and has the required Glasgow connection (well Paisley). Brillo sharp enough to ask really difficult Chairman’s questions.
I’d have to agree with Brillo (of Jeff).
Brillo or Randall would be great. What about Gillian Joseph from Sky?
Interesting suggestion but the position would neuter both of them.
Peirs Morgan anyone?
No
Sally Bercow in a bedsheet
Whilst mounted on Mr Speaker!
Order, order!
“Sally Bercow in a bedsheet”
Mounted on Mr Speaker. Order, order!
No dear, – ON a bedsheet!
What’s she worth?
Not a lot…as in cheap tart
she still excites me in every possible way
I could do it. I haven’t got a lot on at the moment.
AHA whats HE worth (a wank ?)
This could be the end of a long era of Dimblebores on BBC, stretching back to the first appearance of Richard Dimbleby’s fat face in 1937 or whenever it was. I remember the horror at Waad Towers when the TV set warmed up and the image of the first Dimbleby formed itself out of the electronic snow, droning “But will Mr Chamberlain’s plans for re-armament make armed conflict more, rather than less, likely?” “Change the channel!” cried the infant Waad, but Smethurst replied “I regret, Master William, that there will be no other channel until 1955.”
Ever since then, BBC current affairs programmes have been infested with Dimblebores, with their dull suits, dull voices and dull opinions. I think I will order an ox to be roasted in celebration if this really is the end of them on telly.
Lets have Andrew Neil then-he comes from the place-its never been any good since Robin Day left anyway.
Starkey!
+1 true entertainment. A complete fantasy though.
The best person for the job would be Iain Dale
Jeremy Clarkson.. or maybe Littlejohn (although he’s not very good live except when dissing La Pollyanna)
Dale is feable. His radio show is hopeless.
Anyone with a sense of mischief wanting to skewer Polly today?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/aug/31/polly-toynbee-class-q-and-a
Looks like shooting fish in a barrel.
I vote for Brillo. Going back to Glasgow will be a return home for him so he might not mind too much. Or he might mind a lot !
My nomination is for Basil Brush. Second choice would be Sooty.
Question 1)
- Given you are the chairman, why do you feel the need to repeatedly interrupt participants when they are trying to speak, in order to put forth your own opinion?
Question 2)
You were in the Bullingdon Club weren’t you?
Martha Kearney, Evan Davies or Alex Crawford!
Good choice……..I’ll go for these as well
Glenn Beck is looking for work on TV after not having his show renewed by Fox. He even has his own half-moon specs to use for the bits where he needs to look extra-serious.
Roger Mellie?
Someone intelligent and unbiased-I’m sure that the BBC think Pollly would be the ideal candidate.
NO she wants more time spent in her villa
Who the f* do you f*ng think you are!!!!
I’m the one they should f*g have!
Read my f*ng book?
polly would not travel beyond zone 3 in london
Polly will do it if it’s in Tuscany.
But mind – I don’t want wops or ities near me.
Thank you, but my Parrot’s name isn’t Polly. He’d still be ideal for the job, though!
401 You are Mr Praline and I claim my £5
Does he take up the BBC ??
It should be a woman. Infact, a Glasgow Woman. How about Lorraine Kelly?
Wot, with that accent;can’t understand a word she says.
RAB C NESBIT , gorgeous !!
I’m sure Andrew Neil wouldn’t mind a trip home now and then. Though its a bit far from Annabels…
Annabel’s what?
Watering hole?
This Week PJ
Annabel’s twat
Andrew hails from Paisley not Glasgow. Just don’t forget that if you’re ever in Paisley after 10.00 pm on a Saurday night………
Indeed.
I believe Paisley was/is a good night out for Glaswegians looking for trouble. And vice versa.
A lot of Paisley is terrible but the Grammar school was a way out for some. My family moved elsewhere instead.
The Grammar was second choice for the Paisley intelligentsia, which you would know if you really came from there.
Honour and glory to J.N.I
This job is a shoo – in for Gorbals Mick.
Trouble there is that no one understands what he is saying outside Glasgow, even more for south east Englanders, panelists would not stand a chance.
Have some respect. You mean Lord Mick of Gorbals
Why not some equally fair in debates like Polly Toynbee.
What, debates about Polyfilla?
I hear Gordon Brown is looking for a job.
He’s not just looking – he’s desperately chasing any high profile job – anything, anything at all will do as long as it’s high profile and paying loadsamoney so that it proves he worth something,
Will he turn up at the Labour Party Conference?
Hopefully, shortly before the arrival of the alky-aida representative wearing a suspiciously bulky jacket.
Will B’Liar turn up to rally his former minions?
Strange how he promised to do voluntary charity work when he left office, but when the time came he renaged on this promise.
Yet another in a long series of broken promises – incompetent corrupt schill.
Charity begins at home
I do stuff for the mentally challenged,but i have alzheimers,
thank i don’t have alzheimers.
Zippy from Rainbow….
How about Animal from the muppets?
Those were my first thoughts too.
Followed by Obi-wan Kenobi and then Jeremy Clarkson.
Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer. They are used to goading scumbags.
Seconded
I think you will find that Zippy died a few months ago
bungle would be ok
I would watch it again if Brillio was in the chair.
+1
Plus a few million
+1
“Brillio”, now that’s a new name for him Wills
Sally Bercow
Oh yes – any opportunity for her to further make a complete pratt of herself sounds like a great idea to me. Sometimes it’s best to give nutters like her the oxygen of publicity, working on the idea that if you give her enough rope, she’ll hang herself
No that rules her out, the panelists are the ones that want to self-publise and wanna bes, the chair person is supposed to act to keep some sort of decorum and order to the debates
I am God’s gift to journalism
Like my father, brother and anyone with the name Dimbelberry
How dare they even think of moving me to Glasgow
I am en English Toff and I cannot stand those common Jocks (like most of your readers)
You cannot compete with me David
Eddie Mair, FTW.
Good riddance but knowing the BASTARD BBC, they’ll get somebody neutral like Polly Toynbee instead.
Bob Crow?
How about someone to the right , My H@rry C0le ?
How about someone to the right , Mr H@rry C0le ?
Bloody keys keep moving!
Freudian slip, Billy?
Nah H@rry is straight and i am spoken for anyway.
No Billy its your fingers old chap not doing what your brain wants them to do
However it is, make sure the strings are in the same order so Harriet Harman doesn’t have to learn any new Ratatouille commands when non-axis guests who slip through need shutting down.
Indeed…
What about Dimbledonkey.
A putrefying giant stack of horse shit.
Would need two jags to get there though.
Serves him right
I would not be seen in Jockland dead
It is only the best reports and 5 star hotels for me and Slotgob now
The working class like Dimblebore can….
(you know the rest)
Stourton
Kirsty Wark would be an ideal shrill Labourite to keep the standards up
The perfect candidate is, of course, David Starkey!!!
I propose that the late Sir Robin Day return and reinvigorate this now-lacklustre production.
Brilliant choice Ian E. Dr Starkey would certainly make it interesting to watch.
Have they moved it to Glasgow so the bus journey for the audience of trade union members, public sector workers & socialists is shortened?
No, they don’t wish to endanger the audience’s socialist resolve by allowing them to glimpse evil Tory neighbourhoods from the train.
Right on – we must keep utter control over our core northern and Scots supporters and the BBC is definately our best weapon against democracy and the private sector.
Lenin and Stalin taught us a lot – they also moved their power base to Moscow to protect it.
Didn’t work when Labour tried it though did it?
Haha! They thought. We’ll set up a pretendy parly there and use the massive block grant that guarantees over 1,000 quid per head extra and bribe the locals with English money and they’ll vote Labour forever.
It took only eight years before Labour were out on their arse. Replaced by somebody who promised them even more free stuff.
If they think the BBC will be Labour uber alles by relocating to Glasgow I suggest that the S&P will shortly disabuse them of that notion.
Guido this is the job for YOU.
Damian McBride?
Derek Draper?
Ed miliband?
Medhi Hussain?
Johann Hari?
Oi, I am doing it at the moment (with my sock-puppet David Dimplebugger)
The sockpuppeting accusation isn’t true.
What about that stupid bint who’s almost a self-parody? Red Penny or whatever her name is?
If you’ve watched any recent episodes of question time you wlll find that penny dreadfull is, if anything, to the right of the Dimbleby who over the years has gone so far hard core left in his leanings that the english language requires a new word to describe his bias.
How about Fatty Simpson? Or Fatty Mardell? Both would surely enjoy the local diet.
Predictable, nobody wants to move to disgusting places like Salford and Glasgow. Even a day trip is bad enough.
Jon Gaunt or Richard Littlejohn would be good picks. Won’t happen as they’re not leftist or “minority”.
I bet the BBC have moved the team to Glasgow for the same reason Guardianistas eat cuscus; it’s disgusting and they hate it, but they’ve got to be seen to do it because it’s “effnic, eco-ist, PC and so very ‘right-on’”.
Don’t be confused, it is not Salford that they are headed to, it is Salford Quays…VERY different, and if you think the beeboids are going to be living there, you are again, very much mistaken, with Alderley Edge, Mobberly and Knutsford but a short prius journey away.
Ideal candidate for this biased bbc programme will be someone like kinnochio or even davemilitwit who it is rumoured is also, like gordon, looking for a high profile, highlypaid by the taxpayer, job.
Don Logan
Hulk Hogan
Benedict Brogan
I’ve retired but I’ll give Billy Connolly a call.
What about yourself?
Have to be surruptitious with travel due to your tax problems though. But I am sure the SNP will be cooperative.
I don’t have tax problems. I don’t pay tax so no problem.
Stephen Nolan or Jeremy Kyle – lets make it interesting!!
Jeremy Clarkson, not Kyle
Yeah, that’d be better.
Clarkson would be ace!
HAHAHA….GLASGOW…THE SOPHISTICATED CULTURALLY ENHANCED PLAYGROUND WITH MODERATE YEAR ROUND MICRO-CLIMATE…GAUN YERSELL DUMBLEBY.
It does seem a VERY odd place to base a programme mainly devoted to UK/English politics. 90% of their locations must be 200+ miles away from Glasgow.
Wanna make more £££ on travel expenses ? I know, let’s …
What is Dimbleby’s problem, he supports Labour, “Question Time” is mostly pro Labour based on the audience and questions asked, and so basing the show in Labour heartlands should be no problem.
It’s SNP. heartlands now surely, even the jocks are sick of Labour
Yes but the bussing of lefties costs would be much lower. He need not even bother with any pro-government or right wing crowds. Problem will be in getting right wing panel members as it is obviously held in enemy territory. Would be a SNP v Labour scrap which could be very interesting for the English.
oh yeah fascinating
Tacitus – you seem unaware that QT is peripatetic.
Probably from somewhere in Scotland 2/3/4 times/ year (which would be proportionate to population and Glasgow itself once every 2/3 years.
Haven’t you spelt that incorrectly “peripathetic”
Omnipathetic surely.
Kelvin Mackenzie
Eddie Mare
Black Beauty
Ginger
What, as in Eddie (Night) Mare
Cant fault his taste in ties, exclusively Gresham Blake. Same as Mr Guru Murthy…
Floella Benjamin.
Hamble.
Too Brown.
Sally Bercow?
Paddy?
A bowl of porridge.
If ah change ma name by deedpoll to Genghiz McKahn, can ah have tha job?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/6515524/Company-with-links-to-Tony-Blair-adviser-in-Libya-tourism-deal.html
O/T But please do not forget us profteers from the Gadaffi regime
We are still “promoting tourism”
A bit hairy at the moment but we have the best emplacements reserved for the future
The favourite in the Commons’ tea room is Dara O’Briain
Who is she pray ?
Intelligent, good moderator but disqualifies himself by having a sense of humour and being unmistakably brighter than most of the guests.
There’s a wasp in the conservatory this minute who is unmistakably brighter than most of the guests. And will remain so when I kill it shortly.
what the hell is going on?
Just a lot of whingers who should get out more trying to make funny quips. Funny quips – I’ve heard funnier…………..
Surely the ‘production unit’ is relocating to Glasgow but the programme will be screened at a different venue every week?
What’s the fucking big deal Dimbleby?
I want to add a zero to my “fees” you see
To catch up with the banksters and Blairites (rich sods)
Its all about money and power. At 72 he sees the grim reaper coming. Not often I support the reaper.
Is that why they film it in a different location every week? Dimblebore stays on the move, never sleeping in the same bed twice?
I recall reading that when Dimblebum hit age 65 he was asked to retire as a BBC employee. Apparently he broke down and blubbed and offered to work for half fees if he was kept on as a freelancer. Perhaps he could swop jobs with a much youger man , Paxo (aged 60 and a half) could take QT, Dumbledown could do Univerity Challenge and Frankie Boyle could take Newsnight.
Ken Dodd & the Diddy men. The show is really lacking a sprinkle of Zippedy doo dah
I’m sorry but the diddymen are fully employed at the jam buttee mines and doing overtime at the broken biscuit factory. They do not wish to give up their full-time jobs for this over-hyped gig. And Ken says he isn’t required – our politicians are already a running joke.
Yes I realise that people on here have short memories and only one hand available for the keyboard, but QT used to be done by Robin Day, who was feared and revered. His modern day equivalent is obvious; Mr Jeremy Paxman. Not that he wants the job or would get it in the present BBC ethos of safety and bias.
This is a job for Frankie Boyle – I was born for this.
Now that would be funny
If not ironic, given his views on the-you-know-who’s (rhyming slang)
And ironic, given Frankie’s views on the-you-know-who’s (rhyming slang)
If you keep the ad from Arianna Huffy Puffy Spotty and past sell by date Huntingdon on this blog Guido
The most overrated and unqualified journalist in the world
I will smash my screen and send you the bill…
Firefox + NoScript = ad-free order-order. Bliss!
Joey Barton – sorted !!
graham norton – buggered
I’m up for fisting some of those politcal buggers!
Ed Balls, on the provision that he gets no other screen time, ever, and his broadcasts coincide with nationwide power cuts.
Viewers choice – Andrew Neil
BBC Producer’s choice – Laurie Penny
BBC Editor’s choice – Mehdi Hasan
BBC Pollster and ‘key demographic in a time slot’ Researcher’s choice – Graham Norton
They could be building Polly up for it with her new radio 4 programme to get her in the public ear.
Eddie Mair is better as is almost anyone other than Dumbleby.
Personally I would like the programme killed.
Exactly!
Anyone would do provided that they
a) were unbiased
and
b) didn’t interrupt the panellists nine million times in every programme
Dimblebore fails massively on both counts.
The left have had it long enough. How about Nick Griffin?
The B&P are a far left party.
Shh, the left don’t like admitting such dirty little secrets, same goes for The Fuhrer and Il Duce.
Surely it’s got to be a Scot – to understand the local accent – so I’ll plump for ‘thingy’ the lass who does the weather forecast on BBC1 TV in the mornings
Then it has to be Gregor Fisher in the character of Rab C Nesbitt.
We would like to announce that the new presenter of Question Time will be Nicky ‘Neil Kinnock is my friend’ Campbell, who you all know from his broadcasting on Radio 5 Labour. He will of course be totally and unequivocably impartial, as always.
OMG I get sweaty when I see Carole Lirkwood – much more trim these days too.
Jeremy Vine. Or perhaps not.
Not.
I concur.
Seconded
Amy Childs. In a bikini.
Page 3 girls every week to show how bad Britain’s education system is.
Well-oiled, and pole-dancing. For 45 minutes.
How very dare you?! If you ever read the captions on Page 3 it is CLEAR that these girls are highly educated.
Nick Griffin
Simon Cowell
Get rid of Dimbleby, lets have Brillo – in a sweaty vest
Abu Hamza
The new BBC Scotland building at Pacific Quay in the great city of Glasgow is enormous, anonymous and very threatening – PUT UP A PICTURE GUIDO.
Its car park is full of mercs, BMWs and the like. Car park at next door Scottish TV[ i.e. ITV] is full of Fords and VWs. Tells us something.
Suspect that Dimbleby would be quite at home there.
He will be bargaining to have access to the millionaire’s row over the waterfront.
There’s a lovely copyrighted image at http://www.photographersdirect.com. Makes you proud to see your money beng invested in iconic landmark properties; none of yer rubbish.
The BMWs will all be mobility vehicles. I was up there a couple of weeks ago and BMW actually had billboards up proclaiming that the ‘disabled’ of Scotland could now get new BMWs paid for by the tax-payer and replaced every three years.
FFS.
Brillo! He’s the best political presenter around.
Ortis Deley
Cant they just kill the series?
In a free society why do i have to pay for something i do not want, require or use?
A full public inquiry is needed to look into BBC output and funding. I would start it with Dimbleby, Paxman and other historic members of the Labour Party. We, as a nation have allowed the BBC and Channel 4 to get away with their pompous liberal and statist agenda for far too long.
Start a petition.
Just stop paying them. Of all the BBC’s output, its books, magazines, TV, Internet, DVDs, radio.. they produce, what? Harry and Paul and Top Gear. That’s it. All the rest is just crap.
Agreed. This programme has run way beyond its sell-by date. Dimbleby is a pain in the arse and both panel and audience are just seeking their few moments of fame.
Jimmy Carr
Let’s get some bloody answers for a change. Is Torquemada free?
Comical Ali
frankie boyle?
Brillo kicks ass.
“You cannot say that there was a deficit issue that was our (Labour’s) fault”
Eagle Eye says 2:05 minutes in
And there is about 32% of the UK population that want Ed Balls and Angela to run the countries finances – we’re screwed
Archetypal humourless Labour wimman.
And also poorly briefed – another Lab tendency.
I want to smack that lefty bitch in the face with an overly large dirty frying pan, I’ve been told this is a perfectly normal reaction and NOT beyond the pale.
just confiscate her strap on for a week – she’ll suffer a thousand agonies
George Bush?
Dan Quayle.
Quiet you.
Anyone mentioned Cheryl Cole yet?
Who IS this Cheryl Cole I see mentioned all over the dead tree press.
Is she a footballer’s WAG?
Abdelbasset Al Megrahi
Give it to Iain Dale’s Dildo.
Steve Richards
Andrew Neil
Tim Donovan (BBC London pol ed)
Alastair Stewart
I think there should be a rotating team.
Yourself, Harry, Iain Dale and perhaps David Starkey, would be my suggestions.
good choice, but they’d need a supine arselicker to “support” them.
How are you fixed at the moment?
Andrew Neil
Jeremy Clarkson
Will Self
Arthur Smith
Despite the sardonic mien, Self and Smith are up to their b alls in right-on leftie luvviedom.
Apart from being an offensive moron, if Will Self was any more left wing he would make Fidel Castro look like the Chairman of the Tonbridge Wells League of Empire Loyalists.
As an old LOL member I resent that!. I didn’t live in Tonbridge Wells – it was Gerrards Cross.
A,K. Chesterton’s memory lives on!
Don’t I give it to Iain Dale?
Tony Blair?
Gaddaffi?
Well he is out of work right now.
Sources within the BBC were quick to deny reports today that David Dimbleby has yet to sign his contract for Question Time. In other news, it was reported that the panel in the first programme of the new series will include Andy Coulson, the disgraced former Downing Street communications chief, a decision which is bound to send shock waves around Westminter.
Give it to my dad – Colonel Gaddafi
Since devolution and an SNP majority administration in Holyrood,it seems perverse in the extreme to base the BBC’s flagship UK public affairs programme in a country where the majority of its elected representatives actively seek independence from the rest of us.
On the other hand,we are talking about the BBC.
Well its been perverse in the extreme to pack the audience with planted labour shills and the panel with utterly pointless left wingers, but thats what the bbc has done for years, so you must admire their commitment to the socialist state.
How about Jonathan Ross – suggested salary £6million pa?
Don’t be silly! Do you think we, the BBC, would pay that much for a mere TV presenter?? Get in the real world.
Reports circulating earlier today that Jonathan Ross has been offered the post of hosting Question Time has been denied by senior BBC officials. In other news, Andy Coulson, who as David Cameron’s director of communications was forced to resign amid the phone tapping scandal was spotted buying a lottery ticket in a newsagents in Wandsworth.
Amy Winehouse
Ain’t it funny.. she’s been dead more than a month and still no-one misses her.
The world is a little bit more beautiful without her.
Not for me it ain’t!
She was my cash cow.
And a little less charitable
Amy Crackhouse doncha mean?
Who?
Graham Norton?
You can stick him up your arse!
after you – and make sure you wipe it
Micheal Foot?
Good, but how about Mr Charisma himself, Ed Milimong?
DR. DAVID STARKEY, PLEASE
or Brillo
.
Through my contacts I understand that – because of the Cuts – Dimbledum is not happy with the changed programme format – in which panel members will be represented by look-alike impersonators and Dimbledee will have to perform a song at half-time with a Tribute band – the show will be live and the TV audience will be able to vote off the panellists as the game show progresses – thus generating telephone traffic and BBC cash.
It is strongly rumoured that Diddlyboom is having trouble with his Al Jonson impersonation and – apparently – this element is key to the revised format which is loosely based on Thank G. It’s Friday with guest performances from the political scene – each doing their favourite impression of other politicians singing / dancing. Clambit Opick is on the first show with Annie Widdicome for balance.
You’d better let on where you heard this – got a license? we know where you live…
Nick Knowles will come to your house and redecorate it at the license payers expense – you won’t sound so clever after that matey..
This – more or less – is what I overheard in the Le Gavroche restaurant in Mayfair last week.
From memory – Mr Dimwhit-le-tree’s starter was a drizzled gratin over pain with a bottle of Louis Roederer: 2000 Cristal Rosé.
My take on it though was that Mr Teedlebum had twisted his ankle practicing the Charleston for the show – certainly that would explain the way he walked after his third bouteille
I suppose the Controller of BBC1 just put it on his expenses?
Is there any other way ??
P.S. Thanks for the £ 3,600,000,000 of Taxpayers’ money. Whooooppeee !!!
Got it!
Larry the cat.
Surely Larry Lamb!
It’s got to be Ian Hislop… After all it is a comedy show! He could rip the arse out of most of the guests (victims)
No, I think you’re confusing him with Evan Davis.
Brad Pitt, I would definitely watch it again
Fern Britton.
She’s the only one who ever lured Blair into blurting out the truth.
Fern Cotton looks better in a bikini.
Fern Cotton looks like a thread of cotton, in a bikini.
Fine by me. Its the perky tits and the tattoos that float my boat.
Eddie Mair. Easily able to control panel and crowd. Quick wit and regularly teases panel members without angering them on R4 Question Time. Not too up himself either.
Are we being asked for suggestions for someone who toes the loon-left line even more than Dimblebore? Mair is a sweaty leftist creep.
If Mr. Dingleberry does not wish to move to Scotland then we will move aspects of the programme back to London.
We do not wish to upset Mr. Dingleberry and what’s more, the license payer can afford it.
Thank you for your money.
Other than Brillo, Michael Buerk.
They might go for snow – he’s been doing sterling work for libore over at C4.
The move to Glasgow is a cunning plan orchestrated by the Guild of Subtitlers and the Society of Cunning Linguists.
I think it’s time for the programme to complete its transition into light entertainment babble.
Guest presenters .
Cleese as Basil Fawlty
Steven Hawking as Davros
Joey Barton as an upstanding citizen
Van Rompuy as Daniel Dravot
David Icke as errr.. David Icke
And get Chris Tarrant involved, it needs more pies & buckets of water.
Thank you for your comments but as I’m sure you are aware, we no longer do highbrow political programmes so your suggestions are impossible for us to carry out.
Cheque or cash – it’s all the same to us.
We always like to include a left-wing ‘comedian’ who appeals to the young people in a cynical ploy to boost the ratings. And of course, if they slag off the Government as well, it’s always a bonus.
All we do is left-wing comedians at the BBC now, we specifically target them toward the youth too. Those silly old right-wing farts haven’t even noticed yet, it’s how we do it at the Beeb!
Van Rompuy keeps the Europe-shop as Framjee Eduljee.
Dimbleby’s replacement?
A CIA trained waterboarding specialist complete with his workbench & equipment – should focus the panel’s minds on the questions…
The Son of the Manse ?
Jeremy Clarkson – he can get up there in no time.
And of course he will deflate a few egos
stellacreasy *cracks knuckles* hey twitter – fancy helping me with another campaign? I’ve got my Public Accounts Hat on 2 look out for UK taxpayers… 7 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite
ROFL
Aha! I am the natural candidate to bring a much-needed sense of dignity to the proceedings.
And I will introduce a new spot – Alan’s Answers. After the boring guests have bored us all with their boring views, and the studio audience has shown just how much of an in-bred bunch of fascists they are, there will be an opportunity for everyone to hear from yours truly, the same voice that has held radio and television audiences spellbound, and would do for much longer if it wasn’t for that short-sighted bunch of talentless idiots at the BBC who stupidly cut my contract short. Now’s the time for them to make up for their idiocy by giving me the Question Time slot – aha!
Dimbleby already does that Mr Partridge.
In that case, I will add Monkey Tennis – that will bring the viewers in!
Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!
You should sue them.
Question time is monkey tennis.
Damian McBride
Would I still be taking orders from Gordon and Bullyboy Balls ??
How about Ali G and Dame Edna on alternate weeks?
Or Nick Griffin and Andrew Brons alternating on the expenses claims?
BRIAN BLESSED!
good shout
GORDON’S ALIVE!
Yes, unfortunately.
There are so many wonderful people to choose from. Vaz and Blunkett immediately spring to mind. But I’ll settle on Gordon Brown. He saved the world singlehandedly so he won’t even need a panel.
Sorry you are wrong about he saved the world…….he claims he saved the Universe & beyond…..so he’s just right to be the new QT presenter from his Secure Padded Cell in Scotland…….where he should stay for good !!!
I’ve just remembered – the BBC is keen on the hereditary principle. So, step forward Mr Jonathan Dimbleby. (I’m sure there’s another one of the fuckers in the wings who could take over Any Questions).
I’ve finally worked out who Ed Miliband reminds me of. Elmer Fudd of Warner Bros cartoons fame.
By golly, you’re right.
Given the way the BBC is dumbing everything down… I think we can expect Zoe Ball, Fern Britton or the woeful Victoria Derbyshire.
More like Richard ‘the twat’ Bacon, he does the version for “da youf”
Oh no.
Richard Bacon, the poor man’s Alan Partridge.
The Chuckle Brothers, if only to raise the tone of the clowns they invite on these days.
They should just have the same panelists every week, here’s the BBC’s wet dream
Host Polly Toynbee
Guests
Yasmin fucking thicko
George Galloway
Marcus Thickstok
Toilets Maguire
Hatie Hatemen
Oh and just in case one of the above isn’t able to attend how about universal Chami?
& Dr Brian Cox ..He’s a dreamboat {sigh}
Why not just make QT part of BBC Jockland and flog it off along with Jockland
I saw an opinion poll the other dat saying that 71% of English people wanted Scottish independence
Let us encourage Alex Salmond to take their fooking independence
Well said
Good idea to only broadcast this left wing crap from Scotland & all the Biased Broadcasting Company aka BBC needs to ensure is the signal can only be picked up in a ONE mile radius of Glasgow. Its better to ship all of these commie luvvies including Chris Patten (Blue Labour) up there as well, then make sure all of there left wing crap transmissions are electronically blocked from being received anywhere in England.
That way the Biased Broadcasting Companies aka BBC, annual legalised extortion fee can be abolished in England.
How about the Welsh Wind bag, Lord Leech as the new anchor for Biased Question Time……by the time he finished his intro at the start, the hour will be up, seems perfect. Or as an alternative George (bonkers 2) Galloway
helped by Mcbride…….made for each other…..
p a u l s t a i n s
w e l o v e h i m
g u i d o for q u e s t i o n t i m e!
Seconded. And he could have a buzzer.
Well rid of the odious biassed little shiite.
Hear, hear.
The BBC plans to kill the programme stone dead by appointing Kirsty Wark.
Is it just me or does she always sound completely p155ed?
In the American sense of ‘angry’, yes.
Brian Walden or Kerry Katona
prince harry and kerry katona
Katie Price.
‘Well, enough about you Mr Balls, have you seen my latest range of swimwear.’
Mrs Merton aka Caroline Aherne.
What is George Galloway upto these days?
an Arab or two ?
Yes, Sheik Yorassi and Sheik Mabouti!
we pay the salary so we get the vote :
1. Jeremy Clarkson
2. David Miliband
3. Gaddafi.
3 gets my vote, 2 episodes from Scotland and Mad dog will be begging to go to the Hauge.
he would bring a mixture of politics and fashion to the BBC and the lure of TV stardom could drag him out of his bunker. ALso, with his political connections the panel would be much improved.
And comedy.
BBC gold – we should commission it.
I saw him spe8k at the UN ( I think) a few years ago, He and Brown are in the same league.
Mickey Mouse would be an improvement; or possibly Goofy, Donald Duck or Dick Dastardly.
Maybe they could just use the talent they massively overpaid for..
Host – Johnathan Ross
Panel – Michael McIntyre
- Russell Brand
- Bruce Forsyth
- Chris Moyles
- Fiona Bruce
- Mark Thompson
They could rename the programme. How about, “Britain Lacks Talent, Except At Grabbing”.
can we claim expenses too?
I’ve a client who’s asked me to blow her trumpet for her
If it’s going to be broadcast from Scotland it has got to be a job for Muammar Gaddafi.
I suggest the Chuckle Brothers.
Harry Hill
If not Brillo, how about Rab C. Nesbitt ??
Ed Balls in a straight jacket being acosted by a gang with cricket bats.
Oh sorry, wrong forum.
Vorderman, just for sheer entertainment value.
Jordan? Paris Hilton?
Jane from Sky News
Vorderman is a MILF, eye-candy for old men.
campbellclaret At Waterstones NW3 early next week to sign backlog of dedicated books. Manager@hampstead.waterstones.com for inquiries from anywhere UK 14 seconds ago · reply · retweet · favorite
Wonder if he can sign on behalf of 4 million Iraqis?
I wish that fucking c u n t would stay the fuck away from Turf Moor. Fucking lying fucking bastard has blood on his hands.
Can somebody please fucking kick that fucking Lefty fuckwit Vanessa Redgrave in the c u n t as hard as fucking possible.
Come along….. a little over the top methinks !
Are you telling me that given the chance, you would not want to mount her ?
Calm Down Dear …no violence please..remember your blood pressure…chill…..she’s just a left wing”luvvie” who has no political clout whatsoever if she ever had any in the first place…she’s one of the old breed of luvvies a throwback to the 60′s/70′s when it was “De rigeur” to take to the protest lines….the present generation of actors are too busy earning a crust to bother with this rubbish !!!
Some of us of course remember her along with Jane Fonda in their anti-Vietnam protest days and ‘Nessa’s visit to “Mad Dog” to blag some cash for her socialist workers party….happy days….she’s totally divorced from reality and always has been…nobody takes her seriously
Rab Nesbitt and Mary Doll
On the spot and a potential new Caledonian Richard and Judy
Rab was the original ‘Shameless’, and ten times funnier to boot.
Al Megrahi in an oxygen mask.
What’s the significance of Glasgow when QT is in a different place every week?
BBC staff can then claim expenses on two houses.
Gissa job – I’ve got my own decorators. They’re a captivated audience.
Bruce Forsyth is used to working with a lot of bad jokes.
TheWahnbriefe @johnprescott “A pinch and a punch…” if you touch Prescott’s lunch? 47 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite
Surely the obvious person to present is Alastair Campbell?
Brian Aldridge.
Jimmy Clitherow.
Emenim?
Bubbles, Micheal Jacksons chimp.
Hmm, how about someone a bit right of centre (not Cameroon though), eurosceptic and able to determine from the evidence presented that anthropogenic global warming is a load of pants.
Sounds like a job for Al Gore, If anyone can discredit Global warming , its him.
“Pop your suggestions below and Guido will do a round up at some point…”
Just like Guido tells us who won caption contests?
Let’s hope his replacement isn’t so labour biased.
yay what about getting Piers Morgan to do it…..if only to piss Guido off!
Dimbledumb is an old Beeboid tart he won’t relinquish the teat of plenty in a hurry, in any case who would have him? unless he could join Parkinson doing telly ads giving away free parker pens and robbing the oldies for a nice few bob.
Good, Dimbledor can fuck off!
I’ll vote for Brillo but if he’s not available then Jeff Randall failing that then Mark Steyn although he’s Canadian and I believe has been given his own show over the pond.
So then maybe David Starkey, for an old queen at lease his heart is in the right place.
The Beeboids being oh so predictable will go for Paxo leftybooster.
BBC can commission another tedious voting show to pick a replacement.
“Britain’s not interested”
.They’re preparing it now.
“…And the mock up finalists are … .. Mary Portas, Gok Wan, Kate Humble and Adam Woodyatt.
Adam Woodyatt? He’s Ian in Eastenders. Been there for decades..We’ve got to move him on. we accidentally signed him on a life contract… Ok so, not him..What about Miriam O’Reilly?”
Is Ian Beale still in eastenders ?? Christ he must be drawing his pension by now ?
At 73 this year it’s about time he retired..he can hand over to one of his sons…after all his dad did !!!
Nepotism at its finest, it’s what we do best at the Beeb you know!
That will be £3.6 Billion please.
Sorry, but I can’t afford to pay your regressive tax on television watching.
You have to pay BBC-Pravda there is no other choice.
How else can we brainwash you with our liberal lefty propaganda eh?
Look just pay up or we’ll send the brown shirts round to extract a confession from you. Then we’ll prosecute you in court and if you don’t pay the fine we’ll have you jailed and your kids put in care.
Mrs Merton would be a good choice.
Glen Beck. Go on.
politicshomeuk Ed Balls says Brown bringing him in as Chancellor would have been “the wrong plan”, says he wanted to stay Children’s Minister. 49 seconds ago · reply · retweet · favorite
more lies by Balls.
Balls and children?
Maybe he should have become a scout master
Ed Balls the Baden Powell of economics
Insane
interested in children
Wears short trousers and prone to anger
You can always tell when he’s lying. He breathes…
As the BBC is a joke vote for Basil Brush
Too “County”
Stephen Nolan
Hey Dave, grow a fucking pair and tear up the Royal Charter will yer, the BBC already have!
I think your under the illusion that I’m right-wing and a Tory, hahahahaha….
How about Andy Gray? – he talks well, understands Scottish and should be able to sort out feminists such as Hattie
Labour will choose the next QT chairman according to the latest BBC press release.
Here’s a short list:-
Jacqui Smith
David Blunkett
James Purnell
John Reid
Andrew Adonis
Peter Mandelson
or a couple of outsiders(unfortunately not Labour politicians so 100-1 bet)
Andrew Neill
Michael Portillo
feel free to add your own selection
How about Gordon Broon? He would have half chance of coping with the accent and, being universally unpopular, could be horrible to all the guests without viewers hating him more than they do already.
Well I do need something to do.
Being MP for Numptyshire is just not turning out to be the full time job I envisaged, but then nothing seems to turn out quite the way I thought. I should have been Emperor of the Universe by now.
Who moved my potty?
The pseudo intellectual Richard Bacon…… ??
Scotchland
The gift that just keeps on taking
I nominate myself
Empty roads, two police constables to annoy when they stop you and women who could suck start a haggis back to life
Scotchland is the place to be
or Linda Snell.
or Joe Grundy
Stephen Nolan. He is already a northern twat and wont mind the living in the ‘third world’ glasgow.
1980s News-at-Ten Icon…….PAMELA ARMSTRONG ! !
(Failing that, the late Leonard Parkin).
Reading the ITV News website I see Laura K: “…won acclaim for her coverage of the 2010 General Election and the formation of the Coalition government”.
From a distance it looked like Dave and Nick were the leading ‘formers’.
Would expect better syntax from a news organisation.
So she can replace Dimblebore then!!! Bring back Laura K to the Beeb!!!!
The only possible choice: Nick Griffin.
Keith Richards
Ortis Deley is available, oh go on!
The new person will already be well-known on the telly and will require good-natured firmness. They need to be skilled at encouraging the conversation to open out but must also be able to control noisy, unruly elements. A pair of glasses would add gravitas.
It can only be Peppa’s Daddy Pig.
Or Dame Stephen Fry?
Plenty of ” bottom” (his own and others)
Intelligent
Already on the public teat and presenting a television programme that begins with a Q
Grandpa pig is the smart one. Daddy pig’s political knowledge is limited at best.
Some pigs are more equal than others
We operate an equal opportunities policy and welcome applications from all pigs. Just because they have no qualifications, it doesn’t mean they can’t do the job, does it?
I’m eating a “scotch egg”
This is the best thing that the Scotch have ever given us
Something that fell out of a chickens arse then wrapped in minced pork and bread crumbs and deep fried
Nae wonder the ginger haired fuckers are lucky to live beyond 40 as they feast on such things every day
I may just drop a few off at the local mosque using a catapult
It’s not just the deep-fried Mars bars and the cold that has them rushing off early to the cemetery…
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-14730852
Well thats me as fucked as a Lancia from the 1970′s
They have 18.7 % fewer muslims ?
No muslim (or black person) would want to live in such a cold, inhospitable climate.
That and the fact – and this is true – that you do you know those overhead signs they have on motorways to warn of (say) accidents or roadworks which, when all is running smoothly, say things like ‘Tiredness can kill – take a break’?
Those signs?
Well in Scotland they say ‘Don’t take drugs and dr*ve’ and ‘Stamp out racism’. Which gives you a clue as to what the problems are in Scotland.
The Muslims (and blacks) are too afraid to move to Scotland.
Well, as it’s a BBC appointment, these days it can’t be hideously white, male or impartial.
Now who does Fawkes know who might fit that bill, I wonder?
StevenNott #PhoneHacking – In 1999 @piersmorgan DailyMirror & TheSun could have warned the public about #hackgate but chose not to http://t.co/K7oZuwc 12 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite
id like to see Shakin’ Stevens do it…….. every week he could end the show with a song? what do you think?
Just so you know, we have appointed Camilla Batman-yakkety-yak – until of course Alistair Cambell lets us appoint him – she’s so colourful isn’t she !
Thank you.
The Duke of Edinburgh and he would not have any problem with working in Glasgow, ratings would go up too.
Will you stop using my name you fucking cocksucker!
Richard Bacon, his interviewing style is merely to shout numpty questions, the titheed !!
That Paddy bloke currently on Celebrity Big Brother. He may be unintelligible but will make more sense than 98% of the panel/audience.
michael portillo
Robbie Savage
Tony Blair
” May I just say how humbled I am to be nominated for this role, David (if I may call him that) was a titan the field of broadcasting, like myself, modest , compassionate and above all a beacon of integrity and may I pass on my condolences to his family now that it has been officialy confirmed that he cut his own head off in the woods
He was the peoples interlocutor”
10 mill a year please
Tony
have you felt the hand of history on your shoulder yet?
One could not in all honesty ever like dimplebum. He is not a patch on his papa.
Jesus weeps.
Little Weed from “Bill and Ben”.
Tommy Robinson – just to rub salt in the wound!?
Lord Prezza of Lardarse. The panel wouldn’t get a word in edgeways…
What about Jim Devine. He lives there and is used to the way things work, especially the expenses accounts. Yes, he’d make an excellent Question Master and cheap too…
Just shut the programme down. It is so dull and choreographed.
It’s a shoe-in for the fragrant Polly Toynbee, in line with the BBC’s unwritten charter!
Polly in the chair at BBC’s Question Time: only with Littlejohn & his gob next to her, then at least we’ll all have someone to laugh at
Seriously folks – Lord Tebbit is the perfect choice!
Frederick Forsyth. From my point of view the man is competely unbiased.
Why dont they have a guest host each week…
Of course, Jethro
Colonel Gaddafi- he needs a job, will go down well at the beeb and will allow opponents, unlike Dimbledum, to have their fair say.
I may be available shortly.
What about Victoria Coren? I can think of a couple of good points in her favour.
I understand there is a very talented broadcaster called ‘Jedward’ – she may be a breath of fresh hair.
glasgow? frankie Boyle….
Wait a minute – isn’t Question Time filmed in a new location each week?
Look on the bright side Mr Dimbleby. If you are sad we are happy!
Basically we want new programmes in Scotland, not old tired ones. Nor do want old tired biased presenters either. We want to build a Scottish programme making industry.
We already do not get our share of the license fee, 2% returned to Scotland from 9% handed over to London. Who said Dick Turpin was dead?.