September 1st, 2011

The Glasgow Kiss

There are plenty of candidates willing to step into his half-moon glasses and whacky ties. Pop your suggestions below and Guido will do a round up at some point…


  1. 1
    MrAngry61 says:


    Fuck off, Dimblebore.

  2. 2
    John says:

    Martha Kearney, Evan Davies or Alex Crawford!

  3. 3
    bergen says:

    Someone intelligent and unbiased-I’m sure that the BBC think Pollly would be the ideal candidate.

  4. 4
    Harriet Harman says:

    It should be a woman. Infact, a Glasgow Woman. How about Lorraine Kelly?

  5. 5
    Another Engineer says:

    I’m sure Andrew Neil wouldn’t mind a trip home now and then. Though its a bit far from Annabels…

  6. 6
    The Cabinet Secretary says:

    This job is a shoo – in for Gorbals Mick.

  7. 7
    Joker says:

    Why not some equally fair in debates like Polly Toynbee.

  8. 8
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I hear Gordon Brown is looking for a job.

  9. 9

    Zippy from Rainbow….

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Annabel’s what?

  11. 11
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I would watch it again if Brillio was in the chair.

  12. 12
    Tim says:

    Sally Bercow

  13. 13
    David Dimbleberry says:

    I am God’s gift to journalism

    Like my father, brother and anyone with the name Dimbelberry

    How dare they even think of moving me to Glasgow

    I am en English Toff and I cannot stand those common Jocks (like most of your readers)

  14. 14
    Spacker Brown says:

    Eddie Mair, FTW.

  15. 15
    Sir Sheepy Jenkins of Wales says:

    You cannot compete with me David

  16. 16
    I'm number vi says:

    Good riddance but knowing the BASTARD BBC, they’ll get somebody neutral like Polly Toynbee instead.

  17. 17
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    How about someone to the right , My H@rry C0le ?

  18. 18
    Terrible But True says:

    However it is, make sure the strings are in the same order so Harriet Harman doesn’t have to learn any new Ratatouille commands when non-axis guests who slip through need shutting down.

  19. 19
    Throg_lodge says:

    A putrefying giant stack of horse shit.

    Would need two jags to get there though.

  20. 20
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    How about someone to the right , Mr H@rry C0le ?

    Bloody keys keep moving!

  21. 21
    I'm number vi says:

    Mr. Dingleberry please..

  22. 22
    Tony "Moral Collapse" Blair says:

    Serves him right

    I would not be seen in Jockland dead

    It is only the best reports and 5 star hotels for me and Slotgob now

    The working class like Dimblebore can….

    (you know the rest)

  23. 23
    Roundell says:


  24. 24
    nell says:

    He’s not just looking – he’s desperately chasing any high profile job – anything, anything at all will do as long as it’s high profile and paying loadsamoney so that it proves he worth something,

  25. 25
    Steve Miliband says:

    Kirsty Wark would be an ideal shrill Labourite to keep the standards up

  26. 26
    Ian E says:

    The perfect candidate is, of course, David Starkey!!!

  27. 27
    RusbridgerFan says:

    Don’t count you chickens yet. Dimby’s vain and he’ll never give it up. Just playing hard to get I reckon.

  28. 28
    BBC Controller says:

    Tory shills need not apply

  29. 29
    Sophie says:

    Have they moved it to Glasgow so the bus journey for the audience of trade union members, public sector workers & socialists is shortened?

  30. 30
    Costcuter1 says:

    Guido this is the job for YOU.

  31. 31
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Damian McBride?

    Derek Draper?

    Ed miliband?

    Medhi Hussain?

  32. 32
    Taylor says:

    How about Fatty Simpson? Or Fatty Mardell? Both would surely enjoy the local diet.

  33. 33
    Juggler says:

    Predictable, nobody wants to move to disgusting places like Salford and Glasgow. Even a day trip is bad enough.

    Jon Gaunt or Richard Littlejohn would be good picks. Won’t happen as they’re not leftist or “minority”.

  34. 34
    nell says:

    Ideal candidate for this biased bbc programme will be someone like kinnochio or even davemilitwit who it is rumoured is also, like gordon, looking for a high profile, highlypaid by the taxpayer, job.

  35. 35
    Splooge says:

    Freudian slip, Billy?

  36. 36
    Gonk says:

    Don Logan

  37. 37
    Sir Sean Connery says:

    I’ve retired but I’ll give Billy Connolly a call.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Stephen Nolan or Jeremy Kyle – lets make it interesting!!

  39. 39
    JOCK says:


  40. 40
    Steve P says:

    It does seem a VERY odd place to base a programme mainly devoted to UK/English politics. 90% of their locations must be 200+ miles away from Glasgow.

  41. 41
    Up sh1t creek says:

    What is Dimbleby’s problem, he supports Labour, “Question Time” is mostly pro Labour based on the audience and questions asked, and so basing the show in Labour heartlands should be no problem.

  42. 42
    Gawd Help Us says:

    Will he turn up at the Labour Party Conference?

  43. 43
    purpleline says:

    Kelvin Mackenzie

  44. 44
    MrAngry61 says:

    What’s THE POINT of QT? It’s a throwback to the days of radio. RT has something not dissimilar called ‘Crosstalk’, where talking heads appear via video link. No expensive outside broadcasts required.

    Let Dimblebore’s replacement (Polly Twaddle, probably :-( ) stay in London, the guests can pop into their local regional BBC station, and the audience can be a panel (untelevised) in a hotel conference room anywhere in the UK.

  45. 45
    Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

    Jeremy Clarkson, not Kyle

  46. 46
    Splooge says:


  47. 47
    PM says:

    Eddie Mare

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    Cant fault his taste in ties, exclusively Gresham Blake. Same as Mr Guru Murthy…

  49. 49
    Fassbinder says:

    Floella Benjamin.

  50. 50
  51. 51
    The Pundit Too says:

    Strange how he promised to do voluntary charity work when he left office, but when the time came he renaged on this promise.
    Yet another in a long series of broken promises – incompetent corrupt schill.

  52. 52
    The Pundit Too says:

    Plus a few million

  53. 53
    Pilko says:

    Sally Bercow?

  54. 54
    genghiz the kahn says:

    If ah change ma name by deedpoll to Genghiz McKahn, can ah have tha job?

  55. 55
    BBC leak says:

    You’ll have to beat Sally Bercow to it !!

  56. 56
    Dick the Prick says:

    +84 (or the percentage of Labour shills in the standard QT audience). Dingleberry can fuck off – ex Bullingdon, only got a gig because of his daddy, useless creep and fit for fuck all.

  57. 57
    Alf Garnett says:

    I propose that the late Sir Robin Day return and reinvigorate this now-lacklustre production.

  58. 58
    Tony "Moral Collapse" Blair's Cronies says:

    O/T But please do not forget us profteers from the Gadaffi regime

    We are still “promoting tourism”

    A bit hairy at the moment but we have the best emplacements reserved for the future

  59. 59
    The Cabinet Secretary says:

    The favourite in the Commons’ tea room is Dara O’Briain

  60. 60
    niella says:

    what the hell is going on?

  61. 61
    Steve Miliband says:

    Surely the ‘production unit’ is relocating to Glasgow but the programme will be screened at a different venue every week?

    What’s the fucking big deal Dimbleby?

  62. 62
    Sally Cicciolina Past her sell by date says:

    Who is she pray ?

  63. 63
    Shall I put the Kettle on says:

    Ken Dodd & the Diddy men. The show is really lacking a sprinkle of Zippedy doo dah

  64. 64

    Yes I realise that people on here have short memories and only one hand available for the keyboard, but QT used to be done by Robin Day, who was feared and revered. His modern day equivalent is obvious; Mr Jeremy Paxman. Not that he wants the job or would get it in the present BBC ethos of safety and bias.

  65. 65
    Steve Miliband says:


  66. 66
    MrAngry61 says:

    No, they don’t wish to endanger the audience’s socialist resolve by allowing them to glimpse evil Tory neighbourhoods from the train.

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    Yeah, that’d be better.

  68. 68
    Radio4 Buff says:

    Good choice……..I’ll go for these as well

  69. 69
    The Grim Reaper says:

    THE GUARDIAN sometime in the near future


    Candidate required host Question Time. Salary: funded by the telly tax, so no worries there.

    Ideal candidate: Must be a member of the Labour Party and show overt bias against all other political parties, apart from the Green Party & Socialist Workers Party. Must interview the Left and interrogate the Right. Or interrupt them as often as possible. Must accept audience packed with unrepresentative numbers of left wing students, ethnic groups and members of the Gay-Lesbian Transgender Alliance Rainbow Collective. Must have second or third homes and hail from North West London. Must be excited by violent revolution, militants (not terrorists, heaven forfend), must be black, gay, a woman and be disabled, read only the Guardian & Socialist Worker and hate Israel, America (apart from Obama voters) and enterprise, hard work, initiative and tax payers. Must sit on panel of six guests – five of them Left Wing and the sixth a hated Toff. Must goad the Toff and make Americans cry when they experience a tragic event like 9-11. Wearing a burka is optional.

    Salary: the sky is the limit and expenses are fabulous. Vote Labour!!

  70. 70
    Dimblebore says:

    I want to add a zero to my “fees” you see

    To catch up with the banksters and Blairites (rich sods)

  71. 71
    Wishful thinking says:

    Hopefully, shortly before the arrival of the alky-aida representative wearing a suspiciously bulky jacket.

  72. 72
    Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

    Andrew Rawnsley

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    Watering hole?

  74. 74
    Stewie says:

    Hulk Hogan

  75. 75
    Frankie Boyle says:

    This is a job for Frankie Boyle – I was born for this.

  76. 76
    Alex says:

    Oh yes – any opportunity for her to further make a complete pratt of herself sounds like a great idea to me. Sometimes it’s best to give nutters like her the oxygen of publicity, working on the idea that if you give her enough rope, she’ll hang herself

  77. 77
    Jack says:

    If you keep the ad from Arianna Huffy Puffy Spotty and past sell by date Huntingdon on this blog Guido

    The most overrated and unqualified journalist in the world

    I will smash my screen and send you the bill…

  78. 78
    Just round the corner ! says:

    Joey Barton – sorted !!

  79. 79
    Thompson of the Bring Back Communism says:

    Right on – we must keep utter control over our core northern and Scots supporters and the BBC is definately our best weapon against democracy and the private sector.
    Lenin and Stalin taught us a lot – they also moved their power base to Moscow to protect it.

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    NO she wants more time spent in her villa

  81. 81
    The BBC's idea of fair and balanced says:

    Bob Crow?

  82. 82

    Ed Balls, on the provision that he gets no other screen time, ever, and his broadcasts coincide with nationwide power cuts.

  83. 83

    Viewers choice – Andrew Neil
    BBC Producer’s choice – Laurie Penny
    BBC Editor’s choice – Mehdi Hasan
    BBC Pollster and ‘key demographic in a time slot’ Researcher’s choice – Graham Norton

  84. 84
    Billy Braggart says:

    What about yourself?
    Have to be surruptitious with travel due to your tax problems though. But I am sure the SNP will be cooperative.

  85. 85
    Flatulent Veteran says:

    Brilliant choice Ian E. Dr Starkey would certainly make it interesting to watch.

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Trouble there is that no one understands what he is saying outside Glasgow, even more for south east Englanders, panelists would not stand a chance.

  87. 87
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Brillo – has to be. If not then Jeff Randall.

  88. 88
    Titford Hat says:

    Anyone would do provided that they
    a) were unbiased
    b) didn’t interrupt the panellists nine million times in every programme

    Dimblebore fails massively on both counts.

  89. 89
    The BBC's idea of fair and balanced says:

    Johann Hari?

  90. 90
    Gorbal's Mick says:

    Should be a Glasgow Smile – the resulting scar might suit his ego.

  91. 91
    Clear Memories says:

    The left have had it long enough. How about Nick Griffin?

  92. 92
    The BBC's idea of fair and balanced says:

    What about that stupid bint who’s almost a self-parody? Red Penny or whatever her name is?

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    What, debates about Polyfilla?

  94. 94
    Paxmanium says:

    Surely it’s got to be a Scot – to understand the local accent – so I’ll plump for ‘thingy’ the lass who does the weather forecast on BBC1 TV in the mornings

  95. 95
    Jay mason says:

    It’s SNP. heartlands now surely, even the jocks are sick of Labour

  96. 96
    Tacitus says:

    Yes but the bussing of lefties costs would be much lower. He need not even bother with any pro-government or right wing crowds. Problem will be in getting right wing panel members as it is obviously held in enemy territory. Would be a SNP v Labour scrap which could be very interesting for the English.

  97. 97
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Nah H@rry is straight and i am spoken for anyway.

  98. 98
    Grodon Brown says:

    Choose me, – no don’t choose me, – just GIVE ME THE JOB!

    It’s my destiny.

  99. 99
    Nu Attack Dog says:

    Gordon Brown

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    Will B’Liar turn up to rally his former minions?

  101. 101
    ToryBoy says:

    This Week PJ

  102. 102
    Hugh Jarse says:

    Jeremy Vine. Or perhaps not.

  103. 103
    Mrs Morgan says:

    Peirs Morgan anyone?

  104. 104
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The B&P are a far left party.

  105. 105

    Amy Childs. In a bikini.

  106. 106
    Gonk says:

    Black Beauty

  107. 107
    The Observer says:

    Its all about money and power. At 72 he sees the grim reaper coming. Not often I support the reaper.

  108. 108
  109. 109
    D says:

    Clarkson would be ace!

  110. 110
    Big Al (The man who F*s all day) says:

    Who the f* do you f*ng think you are!!!!

    I’m the one they should f*g have!

    Read my f*ng book?

  111. 111
    Gordon Brown-Stuff says:

    I was always really a Number Two

  112. 112
  113. 113
    Nu Attack Dog says:

    oh yeah fascinating

  114. 114
    Aaron D Highside says:

    Have some respect. You mean Lord Mick of Gorbals

  115. 115
  116. 116
    Natalie Rowe says:

    Get rid of Dimbleby, lets have Brillo – in a sweaty vest

  117. 117
    Nu Attack Dog says:

    Now that would be funny

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    “Brillio”, now that’s a new name for him Wills

  119. 119
  120. 120
    Border Terrier says:

    The new BBC Scotland building at Pacific Quay in the great city of Glasgow is enormous, anonymous and very threatening – PUT UP A PICTURE GUIDO.

    Its car park is full of mercs, BMWs and the like. Car park at next door Scottish TV[ i.e. ITV] is full of Fords and VWs. Tells us something.

    Suspect that Dimbleby would be quite at home there.

  121. 121
    Larry the Cat for PM says:

    Brillo! He’s the best political presenter around.

  122. 122
    The Observer says:

    They could be building Polly up for it with her new radio 4 programme to get her in the public ear.
    Eddie Mair is better as is almost anyone other than Dumbleby.
    Personally I would like the programme killed.

  123. 123
    Glasgow: an excellent cesspit for Beeb employees. says:

    I bet the BBC have moved the team to Glasgow for the same reason Guardianistas eat cuscus; it’s disgusting and they hate it, but they’ve got to be seen to do it because it’s “effnic, eco-ist, PC and so very ‘right-on'”.

  124. 124
    boulay says:

    Ortis Deley

  125. 125
    a fistful of dorries says:

    graham norton – buggered

  126. 126
    The Observer says:

    Page 3 girls every week to show how bad Britain’s education system is.

  127. 127
    Eddie Mair says:

    What, as in Eddie (Night) Mare

  128. 128
    V says:

    Cant they just kill the series?

    In a free society why do i have to pay for something i do not want, require or use?

    A full public inquiry is needed to look into BBC output and funding. I would start it with Dimbleby, Paxman and other historic members of the Labour Party. We, as a nation have allowed the BBC and Channel 4 to get away with their pompous liberal and statist agenda for far too long.

  129. 129
  130. 130
    The Observer says:

    He will be bargaining to have access to the millionaire’s row over the waterfront.

  131. 131
    Anon says:


  132. 132
    M'Learned Friend's Friend says:

    Let’s get some bloody answers for a change. Is Torquemada free?

  133. 133
    Rascal Puff says:

    Comical Ali

  134. 134
    boulay says:

    frankie boyle?

  135. 135
    Larry the Cat for PM says:

    Brillo kicks ass.

  136. 136
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    George Bush?

  137. 137
    boulay says:

    Abdelbasset Al Megrahi

  138. 138
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Give it to Iain Dale’s Dildo.

  139. 139
    Juxtaposition Extrapolation II says:

    Steve Richards
    Andrew Neil
    Tim Donovan (BBC London pol ed)
    Alastair Stewart

  140. 140
    Displaced Brummie says:

    I think there should be a rotating team.

    Yourself, Harry, Iain Dale and perhaps David Starkey, would be my suggestions.

  141. 141
    Anon says:

    Is that why they film it in a different location every week? Dimblebore stays on the move, never sleeping in the same bed twice?

  142. 142
    Stan Butler says:

    Andrew Neil
    Jeremy Clarkson
    Will Self
    Arthur Smith

  143. 143
    Dimbleby's BNP moment says:

    If not ironic, given his views on the-you-know-who’s (rhyming slang)

  144. 144
    Iain Dale's Dildo says:

    Don’t I give it to Iain Dale?

  145. 145
    Anonymous says:

    No that rules her out, the panelists are the ones that want to self-publise and wanna bes, the chair person is supposed to act to keep some sort of decorum and order to the debates

  146. 146
    Enhance the Gu!do Experience says:

    Firefox + NoScript = ad-free order-order. Bliss!

  147. 147
    Stan Butler says:

    Start a petition.

  148. 148
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Tony Blair?

  149. 149
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  150. 150
    The Jeremy Whine show is the biggest pile of crap on Radio 2 says:


  151. 151
    BBC News says:

    Sources within the BBC were quick to deny reports today that David Dimbleby has yet to sign his contract for Question Time. In other news, it was reported that the panel in the first programme of the new series will include Andy Coulson, the disgraced former Downing Street communications chief, a decision which is bound to send shock waves around Westminter.

  152. 152
    Piers Morgan Makes Me Puke says:


  153. 153
    Saif Gaddafi PhD (LSE) says:

    Give it to my dad – Colonel Gaddafi

  154. 154
    Hoarse Whisperer says:

    Benedict Brogan

  155. 155
    bergen says:

    Since devolution and an SNP majority administration in Holyrood,it seems perverse in the extreme to base the BBC’s flagship UK public affairs programme in a country where the majority of its elected representatives actively seek independence from the rest of us.

    On the other hand,we are talking about the BBC.

  156. 156
    Oh, yeah! says:

    Well-oiled, and pole-dancing. For 45 minutes.

  157. 157
    HandsomeDavid says:

    How about Jonathan Ross – suggested salary £6million pa?

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    No Billy its your fingers old chap not doing what your brain wants them to do

  159. 159
    Same tribe says:

    Amy Winehouse

  160. 160
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    “The cemeteries of the world are full of indispensable men.” Charles de Gaulle

  161. 161
    Steve P says:

    Tacitus – you seem unaware that QT is peripatetic.

    Probably from somewhere in Scotland 2/3/4 times/ year (which would be proportionate to population and Glasgow itself once every 2/3 years.

  162. 162
    11+ years without a license says:

    Just stop paying them. Of all the BBC’s output, its books, magazines, TV, Internet, DVDs, radio.. they produce, what? Harry and Paul and Top Gear. That’s it. All the rest is just crap.

  163. 163
    Backwoodsman says:

    Well its been perverse in the extreme to pack the audience with planted labour shills and the panel with utterly pointless left wingers, but thats what the bbc has done for years, so you must admire their commitment to the socialist state.

  164. 164
    Evan Davis from the BBC says:

    I’m up for fisting some of those politcal buggers!

  165. 165
    Potatoehead says:

    Dan Quayle.

  166. 166
    Just for a change.. says:

    Graham Norton?

  167. 167
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Micheal Foot?

  168. 168
    Chavtastic pie key Britain says:

    Ain’t it funny.. she’s been dead more than a month and still no-one misses her.

  169. 169
    Dimbleby's B&P moment says:

    And ironic, given Frankie’s views on the-you-know-who’s (rhyming slang)

  170. 170
    Great British Public says:


  171. 171
    Chavtastic pie key Britain says:

    Good, but how about Mr Charisma himself, Ed Milimong?

  172. 172
    Labour Nutter says:

    How about Animal from the muppets?

  173. 173
    Larry the Cat for PM says:

    Quiet you.

  174. 174
    It's what I've heard ...... says:

    Through my contacts I understand that – because of the Cuts – Dimbledum is not happy with the changed programme format – in which panel members will be represented by look-alike impersonators and Dimbledee will have to perform a song at half-time with a Tribute band – the show will be live and the TV audience will be able to vote off the panellists as the game show progresses – thus generating telephone traffic and BBC cash.

    It is strongly rumoured that Diddlyboom is having trouble with his Al Jonson impersonation and – apparently – this element is key to the revised format which is loosely based on Thank G. It’s Friday with guest performances from the political scene – each doing their favourite impression of other politicians singing / dancing. Clambit Opick is on the first show with Annie Widdicome for balance.

  175. 175
    I Hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

    Apart from the minor damage to the BEEB, does anyone really give a shit if he fucks off and is never heard from again? Seriously – what has this overpaid poseur, whose career is built on nepotism, ever done that’s worth a hill of beans?

  176. 176
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Got it!

    Larry the cat.

  177. 177
    Mikey says:


  178. 178
    TOO FAR says:

    It’s got to be Ian Hislop… After all it is a comedy show! He could rip the arse out of most of the guests (victims)

  179. 179
    Nobody you know says:

    Brad Pitt, I would definitely watch it again

  180. 180
    will says:

    polly would not travel beyond zone 3 in london

  181. 181
    Owlett says:

    Despite the sardonic mien, Self and Smith are up to their b alls in right-on leftie luvviedom.

  182. 182
    Piers Morgan Makes Me Puke says:

    Fern Britton.

    She’s the only one who ever lured Blair into blurting out the truth.

  183. 183
    The voice of unreason says:

    Sally Bercow in a bedsheet

  184. 184

    How very dare you?! If you ever read the captions on Page 3 it is CLEAR that these girls are highly educated.

  185. 185
    Nina says:

    Eddie Mair. Easily able to control panel and crowd. Quick wit and regularly teases panel members without angering them on R4 Question Time. Not too up himself either.

  186. 186
    The BBC's unofficial spokesperson says:

    If Mr. Dingleberry does not wish to move to Scotland then we will move aspects of the programme back to London.
    We do not wish to upset Mr. Dingleberry and what’s more, the license payer can afford it.
    Thank you for your money.

  187. 187
    Great British Public says:

    or Brillo

  188. 188
    Sir Sean Connery says:

    I don’t have tax problems. I don’t pay tax so no problem.

  189. 189
    The BBC's unofficial spokesperson says:

    You’d better let on where you heard this – got a license? we know where you live…
    Nick Knowles will come to your house and redecorate it at the license payers expense – you won’t sound so clever after that matey..

  190. 190
    David Cameron says:

    I will never forget Jack Straw’s face on QT when Nick Griffin mentioned that his dad was an officer during the war and that Straw’s dad was an CO….a Conscientous Objector!


  191. 191
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Then it has to be Gregor Fisher in the character of Rab C Nesbitt.

  192. 192
    Smig says:

    Those were my first thoughts too.

    Followed by Obi-wan Kenobi and then Jeremy Clarkson.

  193. 193
    Owlett says:

    Other than Brillo, Michael Buerk.

  194. 194
    Gav says:


  195. 195
    Richard Dimbleby says:

    I agree.

    I always knew he’d turn out to be a feckless fuckwit!


  196. 196
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    They might go for snow – he’s been doing sterling work for libore over at C4.

  197. 197
    Smig says:

    The move to Glasgow is a cunning plan orchestrated by the Guild of Subtitlers and the Society of Cunning Linguists.

  198. 198
    Foo says:

    I think it’s time for the programme to complete its transition into light entertainment babble.
    Guest presenters .
    Cleese as Basil Fawlty
    Steven Hawking as Davros
    Joey Barton as an upstanding citizen
    Van Rompuy as Daniel Dravot
    David Icke as errr.. David Icke

    And get Chris Tarrant involved, it needs more pies & buckets of water.

  199. 199
    Smig says:

    Fern Cotton looks better in a bikini.

  200. 200
    Owlett says:

    Are we being asked for suggestions for someone who toes the loon-left line even more than Dimblebore? Mair is a sweaty leftist creep.

  201. 201
    PPTKO says:

    Polly will do it if it’s in Tuscany.

  202. 202
    The BBC's unofficial spokesperson says:

    Thank you for your comments but as I’m sure you are aware, we no longer do highbrow political programmes so your suggestions are impossible for us to carry out.
    Cheque or cash – it’s all the same to us.

  203. 203
    Frankie Boyle says:

    Whilst mounted on Mr Speaker!

    Order, order!

  204. 204
    Tony E says:

    It’ll never be Brillo, because he’d be far too good at it.

  205. 205
    misterned says:

    I enjoyed the BBC coverage the day after the UK council elections and the AV referendum, where he was ‘pwned’ for refusing to acknowledge that there is a big difference between the BBC’s forecast of the tories losing between 800 – 1200 seats and the actual result of the tories INCREASING their seats and that this was, in fact, a good night for the tories, whereas labour fell well short of what they needed to to in in England, were routed in Scotland and reduced to a small Welsh rump!

  206. 206
    MrAngry61 says:

    Dimbleby’s replacement?

    A CIA trained waterboarding specialist complete with his workbench & equipment – should focus the panel’s minds on the questions…

  207. 207
    Nodrog Nworb says:

    Haven’t you spelt that incorrectly “peripathetic”

  208. 208

    The Son of the Manse ?

  209. 209
    Top Bloke says:

    Jeremy Clarkson – he can get up there in no time.

    And of course he will deflate a few egos

  210. 210
    The BBC is biased says:

    Far too unbiased, you mean.

  211. 211
    Alex says:

    Shh, the left don’t like admitting such dirty little secrets, same goes for The Fuhrer and Il Duce.

  212. 212
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    stellacreasy *cracks knuckles* hey twitter – fancy helping me with another campaign? I’ve got my Public Accounts Hat on 2 look out for UK taxpayers… 7 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite


  213. 213
    Alan Partridge says:

    Aha! I am the natural candidate to bring a much-needed sense of dignity to the proceedings.
    And I will introduce a new spot – Alan’s Answers. After the boring guests have bored us all with their boring views, and the studio audience has shown just how much of an in-bred bunch of fascists they are, there will be an opportunity for everyone to hear from yours truly, the same voice that has held radio and television audiences spellbound, and would do for much longer if it wasn’t for that short-sighted bunch of talentless idiots at the BBC who stupidly cut my contract short. Now’s the time for them to make up for their idiocy by giving me the Question Time slot – aha!

  214. 214
    Sir William Waad says:

    This could be the end of a long era of Dimblebores on BBC, stretching back to the first appearance of Richard Dimbleby’s fat face in 1937 or whenever it was. I remember the horror at Waad Towers when the TV set warmed up and the image of the first Dimbleby formed itself out of the electronic snow, droning “But will Mr Chamberlain’s plans for re-armament make armed conflict more, rather than less, likely?” “Change the channel!” cried the infant Waad, but Smethurst replied “I regret, Master William, that there will be no other channel until 1955.”

    Ever since then, BBC current affairs programmes have been infested with Dimblebores, with their dull suits, dull voices and dull opinions. I think I will order an ox to be roasted in celebration if this really is the end of them on telly.

  215. 215
    Anonymous says:

    Annabel’s twat

  216. 216
    Phil says:

    If you’ve watched any recent episodes of question time you wlll find that penny dreadfull is, if anything, to the right of the Dimbleby who over the years has gone so far hard core left in his leanings that the english language requires a new word to describe his bias.

  217. 217
    Sir William Waad says:

    Damian McBride

  218. 218
    Fr@nkie Boyle says:

    No, I think you’re confusing him with Evan Davis.

  219. 219
    Head Waiter - Le Gavroche says:

    This – more or less – is what I overheard in the Le Gavroche restaurant in Mayfair last week.

    From memory – Mr Dimwhit-le-tree’s starter was a drizzled gratin over pain with a bottle of Louis Roederer: 2000 Cristal Rosé.

    My take on it though was that Mr Teedlebum had twisted his ankle practicing the Charleston for the show – certainly that would explain the way he walked after his third bouteille

  220. 220
    Nick Griffin says:

    How about Ali G and Dame Edna on alternate weeks?

  221. 221
    Slimey Mandy says:

    And a closet shirt lifter to book, you big Mad B*tch

  222. 222
    Mr Cotton says:

    Fern Cotton looks like a thread of cotton, in a bikini.

  223. 223
    Balok head says:

    Glenn Beck is looking for work on TV after not having his show renewed by Fox. He even has his own half-moon specs to use for the bits where he needs to look extra-serious.

  224. 224
    Dr Stantz says:


  225. 225
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    There are so many wonderful people to choose from. Vaz and Blunkett immediately spring to mind. But I’ll settle on Gordon Brown. He saved the world singlehandedly so he won’t even need a panel.

  226. 226
    Fr@nkie Boyle says:

    “Sally Bercow in a bedsheet”

    Mounted on Mr Speaker. Order, order!

  227. 227
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Dimbleby already does that Mr Partridge.

  228. 228
    McPoison says:

    Would I still be taking orders from Gordon and Bullyboy Balls ??

  229. 229
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I’ve just remembered – the BBC is keen on the hereditary principle. So, step forward Mr Jonathan Dimbleby. (I’m sure there’s another one of the fuckers in the wings who could take over Any Questions).

  230. 230
    Jethro Q. Walrus-Titty says:

    Lets have Andrew Neil then-he comes from the place-its never been any good since Robin Day left anyway.

  231. 231
    Larry the Cat for PM says:

    I’ve finally worked out who Ed Miliband reminds me of. Elmer Fudd of Warner Bros cartoons fame.

  232. 232
    Keith Vazeline says:

    Or Nick Griffin and Andrew Brons alternating on the expenses claims?

  233. 233
    Mr Juffles says:

    Given the way the BBC is dumbing everything down… I think we can expect Zoe Ball, Fern Britton or the woeful Victoria Derbyshire.

  234. 234
    Anonymous says:

    The Chuckle Brothers, if only to raise the tone of the clowns they invite on these days.

  235. 235
    Keith Vazeline says:

    By golly, you’re right.

  236. 236
    Fuck the BBC says:

    They should just have the same panelists every week, here’s the BBC’s wet dream

    Host Polly Toynbee


    Yasmin fucking thicko
    George Galloway
    Marcus Thickstok
    Toilets Maguire
    Hatie Hatemen

    Oh and just in case one of the above isn’t able to attend how about universal Chami?

  237. 237
    JumbleJim says:

    Roger Mellie?

  238. 238
    Fuck the BBC says:

    More like Richard ‘the twat’ Bacon, he does the version for “da youf”

  239. 239
    The BBC is biased says:

    We would like to announce that the new presenter of Question Time will be Nicky ‘Neil Kinnock is my friend’ Campbell, who you all know from his broadcasting on Radio 5 Labour. He will of course be totally and unequivocably impartial, as always.

  240. 240
    Jack says:

    Why not just make QT part of BBC Jockland and flog it off along with Jockland

    I saw an opinion poll the other dat saying that 71% of English people wanted Scottish independence

    Let us encourage Alex Salmond to take their fooking independence

  241. 241
    non believer says:

    I’ll never forget the look on Nick Griffins face when Colonel Gadaffi didn’t give him any cash after he’d flown all the way to Libya to beg the muzzie findies there for donations.

    Still, at least Gadaffi paid for Nick’s airfare with what ever money he had left over from funding irish terrorists, so he wasn’t too out of pocket.

  242. 242
    The BBC is biased says:

    Don’t be silly! Do you think we, the BBC, would pay that much for a mere TV presenter?? Get in the real world.

  243. 243
    Tax Payer Joe Public says:

    Good idea to only broadcast this left wing crap from Scotland & all the Biased Broadcasting Company aka BBC needs to ensure is the signal can only be picked up in a ONE mile radius of Glasgow. Its better to ship all of these commie luvvies including Chris Patten (Blue Labour) up there as well, then make sure all of there left wing crap transmissions are electronically blocked from being received anywhere in England.

    That way the Biased Broadcasting Companies aka BBC, annual legalised extortion fee can be abolished in England.

    How about the Welsh Wind bag, Lord Leech as the new anchor for Biased Question Time……by the time he finished his intro at the start, the hour will be up, seems perfect. Or as an alternative George (bonkers 2) Galloway
    helped by Mcbride…….made for each other…..

  244. 244
    Grodon Brhoon again says:

    Look! – just give me the f*ing job, – I’m the natural to take it on – I will answer all your questions, – like wot I do on wednesdays.

    It will give me more air time.

  245. 245
    The BBC is biased says:

    I suppose the Controller of BBC1 just put it on his expenses?

  246. 246

    He is only an instrument of the State any way so let him go, Greg Dyke the only man who used to work for the BBC and Got forced out for telling the Truth should host the Show, At least he might let some in the audience speak the Truth. Dingleberry will close any one down that questions the 911 Bull sh-t that the Gov want us to believe.

  247. 247
    A Madame (High Class) says:

    No dear, – ON a bedsheet!

    What’s she worth?

  248. 248
    gleeesgeeee says:

    But the program is weekly and comes from differnt venue each week.

    So the base has little to do with where the program is filmed… ?

    Seems many commentators dont watch the programe ?

  249. 249
    Billy Bowden is the greatest owned biatch ever ! says:

    p a u l s t a i n s

    w e l o v e h i m

    g u i d o for q u e s t i o n t i m e!

  250. 250
    Penfold says:

    Well rid of the odious biassed little shiite.

  251. 251
    PT (A Tucson resident) says:

    But mind – I don’t want wops or ities near me.

  252. 252

    Billy Connelly would put some much needed sparkle into the show!

  253. 253
    Antonia Fraser says:

    But but but who will pat Hattiet ~Harman’s arm gently when those horrid horrid working class oiks, who have not attended good schools, give her a hard time?

  254. 254
    Simon says:


  255. 255
    Slimey Mandy says:

    Sorry you are wrong about he saved the world…….he claims he saved the Universe & beyond… he’s just right to be the new QT presenter from his Secure Padded Cell in Scotland…….where he should stay for good !!!

  256. 256
    oddly helpful says:

    Intelligent, good moderator but disqualifies himself by having a sense of humour and being unmistakably brighter than most of the guests.

  257. 257
    The BBC is biased says:

    We always like to include a left-wing ‘comedian’ who appeals to the young people in a cynical ploy to boost the ratings. And of course, if they slag off the Government as well, it’s always a bonus.

  258. 258
    Anonymous says:

    Andrew hails from Paisley not Glasgow. Just don’t forget that if you’re ever in Paisley after 10.00 pm on a Saurday night………

  259. 259
    Desperate Dan says:

    The BBC plans to kill the programme stone dead by appointing Kirsty Wark.

  260. 260
    YorkshireLad says:

    Brian Walden or Kerry Katona

  261. 261
    The BBC are cunts says:

    Is there any other way ??

    P.S. Thanks for the £ 3,600,000,000 of Taxpayers’ money. Whooooppeee !!!

  262. 262
    Debit Agricole says:

    Oh no.

  263. 263
    Fiscal Gerrymandering says:

    “You cannot say that there was a deficit issue that was our (Labour’s) fault”

    Eagle Eye says 2:05 minutes in

    And there is about 32% of the UK population that want Ed Balls and Angela to run the countries finances – we’re screwed

  264. 264
    Nelson says:

    The world is a little bit more beautiful without her.

  265. 265
    Dennis Diatribe says:

    What is George Galloway upto these days?

  266. 266
    oddly helpful says:

    There’s a lovely copyrighted image at Makes you proud to see your money beng invested in iconic landmark properties; none of yer rubbish.

  267. 267
    the last quango in paris says:

    we pay the salary so we get the vote :

    1. Jeremy Clarkson
    2. David Miliband
    3. Gaddafi.

  268. 268
    Engineer says:

    Mickey Mouse would be an improvement; or possibly Goofy, Donald Duck or Dick Dastardly.

  269. 269
    Gordon Brown I saved the world. says:

    Dimby will soon be joining me in the Lords .

  270. 270
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    3 gets my vote, 2 episodes from Scotland and Mad dog will be begging to go to the Hauge.

  271. 271
    Engineer says:

    Hear, hear.

  272. 272
    East Midlander says:

    The best person for the job would be Iain Dale

  273. 273
    BBC secretary pool says:

    & Dr Brian Cox ..He’s a dreamboat {sigh}

  274. 274
    M says:

    That’ll be ken Livingston we presume

  275. 275
    the last quango in paris says:

    Seconded. And he could have a buzzer.

  276. 276
    the last quango in paris says:

    he would bring a mixture of politics and fashion to the BBC and the lure of TV stardom could drag him out of his bunker. ALso, with his political connections the panel would be much improved.

  277. 277
    Disco Dave says:

    Simon Heffer

  278. 278
    Doctor m , pollys state funded therapist says:

    I’ve a client who’s asked me to blow her trumpet for her

  279. 279

    Maybe they could just use the talent they massively overpaid for..

    Host – Johnathan Ross

    Panel – Michael McIntyre
    – Russell Brand
    – Bruce Forsyth
    – Chris Moyles
    – Fiona Bruce
    – Mark Thompson

  280. 280
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Not a lot…as in cheap tart

  281. 281
    Selohesra says:

    I think you will find that Zippy died a few months ago

  282. 282
    annette curton says:

    If it’s going to be broadcast from Scotland it has got to be a job for Muammar Gaddafi.

  283. 283
    Alan Partridge says:

    In that case, I will add Monkey Tennis – that will bring the viewers in!

  284. 284
    Anonymous says:

    Oi, I am doing it at the moment (with my sock-puppet David Dimplebugger)

  285. 285
    A Firm Of Breasts says:

    I suggest the Chuckle Brothers.

  286. 286
    BillyBob.... says:

    an Arab or two ?

  287. 287
    Fog says:

    Harry Hill

  288. 288
    Another Engineer says:


    I believe Paisley was/is a good night out for Glaswegians looking for trouble. And vice versa.

    A lot of Paisley is terrible but the Grammar school was a way out for some. My family moved elsewhere instead.

  289. 289
    Hugh Jarse says:

    I concur.

  290. 290
    BillyBob.... says:

    If not Brillo, how about Rab C. Nesbitt ??

  291. 291
    IED Dector man says:

    You calling him a clip?

  292. 292
    Raving Loon says:

    Ed Balls in a straight jacket being acosted by a gang with cricket bats.

    Oh sorry, wrong forum.

  293. 293
    Jimmy says:

    Vorderman, just for sheer entertainment value.

  294. 294
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    campbellclaret At Waterstones NW3 early next week to sign backlog of dedicated books. for inquiries from anywhere UK 14 seconds ago · reply · retweet · favorite

    Wonder if he can sign on behalf of 4 million Iraqis?

  295. 295
    Engineer says:

    They could rename the programme. How about, “Britain Lacks Talent, Except At Grabbing”.

  296. 296
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    And comedy.

  297. 297
    The Sheikh Of Arabeee says:

    Can somebody please fucking kick that fucking Lefty fuckwit Vanessa Redgrave in the c u n t as hard as fucking possible.

  298. 298
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:


    Jack Straw was also a Co at university, surprising how he was eager to commit UK to the Iraq war, he also was central in the release of the Libyan bomber deal with Scotland. What a pity he did not encourage his son Will to join up o and fight an illegal war, it might have done him some good rather than languishing about under his dad’s safety umbrella smoking dope. Thoroughly detestable person like his mentor Blair.

  299. 299
    stevie wonder says:

    she still excites me in every possible way

  300. 300
    Woss, McIntyred, Brund and Co says:

    can we claim expenses too?

  301. 301
    Engineer says:

    Jordan? Paris Hilton?

  302. 302
    The Sheikh Of Arabeee says:

    I wish that fucking c u n t would stay the fuck away from Turf Moor. Fucking lying fucking bastard has blood on his hands.

  303. 303
    the last quango in paris says:

    BBC gold – we should commission it.

  304. 304
    chuckle mother says:

    bungle would be ok

  305. 305
    Desert Rat says:

    Rab Nesbitt and Mary Doll

    On the spot and a potential new Caledonian Richard and Judy

  306. 306
    annette curton says:

    Al Megrahi in an oxygen mask.

  307. 307
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I saw him spe8k at the UN ( I think) a few years ago, He and Brown are in the same league.

  308. 308
    Sally Bercow says:

    I could do it. I haven’t got a lot on at the moment.

  309. 309
    chuckle mother says:

    good choice, but they’d need a supine arselicker to “support” them.

    How are you fixed at the moment?

  310. 310
    50 Calibre says:

    What’s the significance of Glasgow when QT is in a different place every week?

  311. 311
    Sir William Waad says:

    Bruce Forsyth is used to working with a lot of bad jokes.

  312. 312
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    TheWahnbriefe @johnprescott “A pinch and a punch…” if you touch Prescott’s lunch? 47 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  313. 313
    chuckle mother says:

    good shout

  314. 314
    Anonymous says:

    Surely the obvious person to present is Alastair Campbell?

  315. 315
    chuckle mother says:

    prince harry and kerry katona

  316. 316
    BrianSJ says:

    Spot on. Brillo for preference. Jeff Randall would at least be interesting.

  317. 317
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Jeremy Clarkson.. or maybe Littlejohn (although he’s not very good live except when dissing La Pollyanna)

  318. 318
    annette curton says:

    BBC staff can then claim expenses on two houses.

  319. 319
    Enough! says:

    Brian Aldridge.

  320. 320
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  321. 321
    annette curton says:

    Jimmy Clitherow.

  322. 322
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Bubbles, Micheal Jacksons chimp.

  323. 323
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Hmm, how about someone a bit right of centre (not Cameroon though), eurosceptic and able to determine from the evidence presented that anthropogenic global warming is a load of pants.

  324. 324
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Pop your suggestions below and Guido will do a round up at some point…”

    Just like Guido tells us who won caption contests? :-)

  325. 325
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    I’d have to agree with Brillo (of Jeff).

  326. 326
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Let’s hope his replacement isn’t so labour biased.

  327. 327
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Sounds like a job for Al Gore, If anyone can discredit Global warming , its him.

  328. 328
    Cole Porter (you hum it) says:

    yay what about getting Piers Morgan to do it…..if only to piss Guido off!

  329. 329
    WVM says:

    Good, Dimbledor can fuck off!

    I’ll vote for Brillo but if he’s not available then Jeff Randall failing that then Mark Steyn although he’s Canadian and I believe has been given his own show over the pond.
    So then maybe David Starkey, for an old queen at lease his heart is in the right place.

    The Beeboids being oh so predictable will go for Paxo leftybooster.

  330. 330
    Caligula says:

    Mrs Merton would be a good choice.

  331. 331
    Not The BBC says:

    Glen Beck. Go on.

  332. 332
    Amy's smack dealer says:

    Not for me it ain’t!

    She was my cash cow.

  333. 333
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    politicshomeuk Ed Balls says Brown bringing him in as Chancellor would have been “the wrong plan”, says he wanted to stay Children’s Minister. 49 seconds ago · reply · retweet · favorite

    more lies by Balls.

  334. 334
    Anybody But Ed says:

    As the BBC is a joke vote for Basil Brush

  335. 335
    Border Reiver says:

    What about Dimbledonkey.

  336. 336
    Elton John says:

    You can stick him up your arse!

  337. 337
    In all seriousness says:

    Stephen Nolan

  338. 338
    WVM says:

    Hey Dave, grow a fucking pair and tear up the Royal Charter will yer, the BBC already have!

  339. 339
    BillyBob.... says:

    Come along….. a little over the top methinks !

    Are you telling me that given the chance, you would not want to mount her ?

  340. 340
    who the fuck is Larry Lamb anyway! says:

    Surely Larry Lamb!

  341. 341
    Cole Porter (you hum it) says:

    Dimbledumb is an old Beeboid tart he won’t relinquish the teat of plenty in a hurry, in any case who would have him? unless he could join Parkinson doing telly ads giving away free parker pens and robbing the oldies for a nice few bob.

  342. 342
    Selohesra says:

    How about Andy Gray? – he talks well, understands Scottish and should be able to sort out feminists such as Hattie

  343. 343
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Labour will choose the next QT chairman according to the latest BBC press release.

  344. 344
    BillyBob.... says:

    The pseudo intellectual Richard Bacon…… ??

  345. 345
    MrAngry61 says:

    Archetypal humourless Labour wimman.

    And also poorly briefed – another Lab tendency.

  346. 346
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    The gift that just keeps on taking

  347. 347
    Daydream Believer says:

    Calm Down Dear …no violence please..remember your blood pressure…chill…..she’s just a left wing”luvvie” who has no political clout whatsoever if she ever had any in the first place…she’s one of the old breed of luvvies a throwback to the 60’s/70’s when it was “De rigeur” to take to the protest lines….the present generation of actors are too busy earning a crust to bother with this rubbish !!!

    Some of us of course remember her along with Jane Fonda in their anti-Vietnam protest days and ‘Nessa’s visit to “Mad Dog” to blag some cash for her socialist workers party….happy days….she’s totally divorced from reality and always has been…nobody takes her seriously

  348. 348
    Tron says:

    The Grim Reaper says it all. That is exactly what will happen.
    The BBC will put a “BBC person” in charge.
    Don’t waste your time dreaming about Jeff Randell or Brillo, my money is on John Prescott.

  349. 349
    Daydream Believer says:

    Here’s a short list:-
    Jacqui Smith
    David Blunkett
    James Purnell
    John Reid
    Andrew Adonis
    Peter Mandelson
    or a couple of outsiders(unfortunately not Labour politicians so 100-1 bet)

    Andrew Neill
    Michael Portillo

    feel free to add your own selection

  350. 350
    HRH Prince Andrew says:

    Yes, Sheik Yorassi and Sheik Mabouti!

  351. 351
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    I nominate myself
    Empty roads, two police constables to annoy when they stop you and women who could suck start a haggis back to life
    Scotchland is the place to be

  352. 352
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Anyone with a sense of mischief wanting to skewer Polly today?

    Looks like shooting fish in a barrel.

  353. 353
    Anon. says:

    Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!

  354. 354

    BBC can commission another tedious voting show to pick a replacement.
    “Britain’s not interested”

    .They’re preparing it now.
    “…And the mock up finalists are … .. Mary Portas, Gok Wan, Kate Humble and Adam Woodyatt.

    Adam Woodyatt? He’s Ian in Eastenders. Been there for decades..We’ve got to move him on. we accidentally signed him on a life contract… Ok so, not him..What about Miriam O’Reilly?”

  355. 355
    Smig says:

    Fine by me. Its the perky tits and the tattoos that float my boat.

  356. 356
    Tourettes Campbell says:

    Not Lord Lardarse….croquet, anyone?

  357. 357
    Enough! says:

    or Linda Snell.

  358. 358
    Seven Bellies Smith says:

    Gissa job – I’ve got my own decorators. They’re a captivated audience.

  359. 359
    Keeping it in the family..BBC style says:

    At 73 this year it’s about time he retired..he can hand over to one of his sons…after all his dad did !!!

  360. 360
    Stephen Nolan says:

    Stephen Nolan. He is already a northern twat and wont mind the living in the ‘third world’ glasgow.

  361. 361
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    Balls and children?

    Maybe he should have become a scout master

    Ed Balls the Baden Powell of economics
    interested in children
    Wears short trousers and prone to anger

  362. 362
    Arthur's Bench says:

    Is Ian Beale still in eastenders ?? Christ he must be drawing his pension by now ?

  363. 363
    Malcolm Tucker says:

    1980s News-at-Ten Icon…….PAMELA ARMSTRONG ! !

    (Failing that, the late Leonard Parkin).

  364. 364
    Anon. says:

    Rab was the original ‘Shameless’, and ten times funnier to boot.

  365. 365
    Tourettes Campbell says:

    The perfect BBC candidate:

    Lord Lardarse

    Diane Abbott

    Any ex Conservative transsexual Muslim

  366. 366
    Enough! says:

    Reading the ITV News website I see Laura K: “…won acclaim for her coverage of the 2010 General Election and the formation of the Coalition government”.

    From a distance it looked like Dave and Nick were the leading ‘formers’.

    Would expect better syntax from a news organisation.

  367. 367
    Anonymous says:

    The only possible choice: Nick Griffin.

  368. 368
    Tourettes Agent says:

    How about Alistair Tourettes Campbell?

    Perfect. And he’s free at the mo.

  369. 369
    World class says:

    Keith Richards

  370. 370
    BBC spokesperson says:

    I reckon Vanessa Redgrave is perfect. Wealthy, socialist and demented.

  371. 371
    Anonymous says:

    Ortis Deley is available, oh go on!

  372. 372
    Sir William Waad says:

    The new person will already be well-known on the telly and will require good-natured firmness. They need to be skilled at encouraging the conversation to open out but must also be able to control noisy, unruly elements. A pair of glasses would add gravitas.

    It can only be Peppa’s Daddy Pig.

  373. 373
    Jeremy Clarkson in Glasgae says:

    I’m eating a “scotch egg”
    This is the best thing that the Scotch have ever given us
    Something that fell out of a chickens arse then wrapped in minced pork and bread crumbs and deep fried
    Nae wonder the ginger haired fuckers are lucky to live beyond 40 as they feast on such things every day
    I may just drop a few off at the local mosque using a catapult

  374. 374
    albacore says:

    Well, as it’s a BBC appointment, these days it can’t be hideously white, male or impartial.
    Now who does Fawkes know who might fit that bill, I wonder?

  375. 375
    BBC says:

    Nepotism at its finest, it’s what we do best at the Beeb you know!

    That will be £3.6 Billion please.

  376. 376
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    StevenNott #PhoneHacking – In 1999 @piersmorgan DailyMirror & TheSun could have warned the public about #hackgate but chose not to 12 minutes ago · reply · retweet · favorite

  377. 377
    Anonymous says:

    Brillo or Randall would be great. What about Gillian Joseph from Sky?

  378. 378
    Jeremy Clarkson in Glasgae says:

    Or Dame Stephen Fry?
    Plenty of ” bottom” (his own and others)
    Already on the public teat and presenting a television programme that begins with a Q

  379. 379

    Grandpa pig is the smart one. Daddy pig’s political knowledge is limited at best.

  380. 380
    Single mother with three kids says:

    Sorry, but I can’t afford to pay your regressive tax on television watching.

  381. 381
    WVM says:

    Jane from Sky News :)

  382. 382
    Spartacus says:

    And a little less charitable

  383. 383
    jgm2 says:

    Didn’t work when Labour tried it though did it?

    Haha! They thought. We’ll set up a pretendy parly there and use the massive block grant that guarantees over 1,000 quid per head extra and bribe the locals with English money and they’ll vote Labour forever.

    It took only eight years before Labour were out on their arse. Replaced by somebody who promised them even more free stuff.

    If they think the BBC will be Labour uber alles by relocating to Glasgow I suggest that the S&P will shortly disabuse them of that notion.

  384. 384
    jgm2 says:

    Omnipathetic surely.

  385. 385
    Shakin' Stevens says:

    id like to see Shakin’ Stevens do it…….. every week he could end the show with a song? what do you think?

  386. 386
    Arthur Bent says:

    I vote for Brillo. Going back to Glasgow will be a return home for him so he might not mind too much. Or he might mind a lot !

  387. 387
    jgm2 says:

    There’s a wasp in the conservatory this minute who is unmistakably brighter than most of the guests. And will remain so when I kill it shortly.

  388. 388

    Straw also thinks that Che Guevera, the psychopathic mass murderer Castro had the sense to have assassinated, was a “hero of the people.” One really should question his sanity and his credentials to sit in parliament.

  389. 389
    The BBC's unofficial spokesperson says:

    Just so you know, we have appointed Camilla Batman-yakkety-yak – until of course Alistair Cambell lets us appoint him – she’s so colourful isn’t she !
    Thank you.

  390. 390
    jgm2 says:

    The BMWs will all be mobility vehicles. I was up there a couple of weeks ago and BMW actually had billboards up proclaiming that the ‘disabled’ of Scotland could now get new BMWs paid for by the tax-payer and replaced every three years.


  391. 391
    Smig says:


    Yes, unfortunately.

  392. 392
    Beeboid No2746 says:

    You have to pay BBC-Pravda there is no other choice.
    How else can we brainwash you with our liberal lefty propaganda eh?
    Look just pay up or we’ll send the brown shirts round to extract a confession from you. Then we’ll prosecute you in court and if you don’t pay the fine we’ll have you jailed and your kids put in care.

  393. 393
    shy_bazz says:

    The Duke of Edinburgh and he would not have any problem with working in Glasgow, ratings would go up too.

  394. 394
    jgm2 says:

    Amy Crackhouse doncha mean?

  395. 395
    jgm2 says:

    Is it just me or does she always sound completely p155ed?

  396. 396
    jgm2 says:

    Katie Price.

    ‘Well, enough about you Mr Balls, have you seen my latest range of swimwear.’

  397. 397
    shy_bazz says:

    Well he is out of work right now.

  398. 398
    Beeboid No2746 says:

    All we do is left-wing comedians at the BBC now, we specifically target them toward the youth too. Those silly old right-wing farts haven’t even noticed yet, it’s how we do it at the Beeb!

  399. 399
    jgm2 says:

    Mrs Merton aka Caroline Aherne.

  400. 400
    Dave says:

    I think your under the illusion that I’m right-wing and a Tory, hahahahaha….

  401. 401
    The Real Clarkson says:

    Will you stop using my name you fucking cocksucker!

  402. 402
    jgm2 says:

    It’s not just the deep-fried Mars bars and the cold that has them rushing off early to the cemetery…

  403. 403
    Back seat driver says:

    Agreed. This programme has run way beyond its sell-by date. Dimbleby is a pain in the arse and both panel and audience are just seeking their few moments of fame.

  404. 404
    WVM says:

    I want to smack that lefty bitch in the face with an overly large dirty frying pan, I’ve been told this is a perfectly normal reaction and NOT beyond the pale.

  405. 405
    The Real Clarkson says:

    Some pigs are more equal than others

  406. 406
    The Real Clarkson says:

    Well thats me as fucked as a Lancia from the 1970’s

  407. 407
    BillyBob.... says:

    Richard Bacon, his interviewing style is merely to shout numpty questions, the titheed !!

  408. 408
    Cressida's Dick says:

    That Paddy bloke currently on Celebrity Big Brother. He may be unintelligible but will make more sense than 98% of the panel/audience.

  409. 409
    Anonymous says:

    michael portillo

  410. 410
    Anonymous says:

    Robbie Savage

  411. 411
    Mr Slater says:

    Thank you, but my Parrot’s name isn’t Polly. He’d still be ideal for the job, though!

  412. 412
    The Real Clarkson says:

    Tony Blair
    ” May I just say how humbled I am to be nominated for this role, David (if I may call him that) was a titan the field of broadcasting, like myself, modest , compassionate and above all a beacon of integrity and may I pass on my condolences to his family now that it has been officialy confirmed that he cut his own head off in the woods
    He was the peoples interlocutor”

    10 mill a year please

  413. 413
    M'Learned Friend's Friend says:


  414. 414
    M'Learned Friend's Friend says:

    So she can replace Dimblebore then!!! Bring back Laura K to the Beeb!!!!

  415. 415
    M'Learned Friend's Friend says:

    or Joe Grundy

  416. 416
    Andrew Marr's agent. says:

    Yep, Thats it then. Brillo it is.

    By far the sharpest interviewer, does his homework and has the required Glasgow connection (well Paisley). Brillo sharp enough to ask really difficult Chairman’s questions.

  417. 417
    M'Learned Friend's Friend says:

    How about Gordon Broon? He would have half chance of coping with the accent and, being universally unpopular, could be horrible to all the guests without viewers hating him more than they do already.

  418. 418
    gildedtumbril says:

    One could not in all honesty ever like dimplebum. He is not a patch on his papa.
    Jesus weeps.

  419. 419

    Jacqui Smith is a shoo-in.

  420. 420
    Ship of Fools says:

    Dale is feable. His radio show is hopeless.

  421. 421
    Mike Oxonfire says:

    Little Weed from “Bill and Ben”.

  422. 422
    Know all says:

    Just a lot of whingers who should get out more trying to make funny quips. Funny quips – I’ve heard funnier…………..

  423. 423
    Toby Blair's Estate Agent says:

    Charity begins at home

  424. 424
    Rat's arse says:

    You’ve got the job description down to a “t” Grim! Brilliant.

  425. 425
    Anonymous says:

    Wot, with that accent;can’t understand a word she says.

  426. 426
    50 Calibre says:

    You can always tell when he’s lying. He breathes…

  427. 427
    Noctivagent says:

    Tommy Robinson – just to rub salt in the wound!?

  428. 428
    Rat's arse says:

    Mr Bean?

  429. 429
    Gordon F Brown says:

    Well I do need something to do.

    Being MP for Numptyshire is just not turning out to be the full time job I envisaged, but then nothing seems to turn out quite the way I thought. I should have been Emperor of the Universe by now.

    Who moved my potty?

  430. 430
    Red Sonya says:

    Anyone mentioned Cheryl Cole yet?

  431. 431
    The Music Buying Public says:


  432. 432
    Balok head says:

    Van Rompuy keeps the Europe-shop as Framjee Eduljee.

  433. 433
    50 Calibre says:

    Lord Prezza of Lardarse. The panel wouldn’t get a word in edgeways…

  434. 434
    50 Calibre says:

    What about Jim Devine. He lives there and is used to the way things work, especially the expenses accounts. Yes, he’d make an excellent Question Master and cheap too…

  435. 435
    oddly helpful says:

    In the American sense of ‘angry’, yes.

  436. 436
    Fuck the BBC says:

    Well said

  437. 437
    chuckle mother says:

    just confiscate her strap on for a week – she’ll suffer a thousand agonies

  438. 438
    chuckle mother says:

    after you – and make sure you wipe it

  439. 439
    Entertain Me says:

    Just shut the programme down. It is so dull and choreographed.

  440. 440
    chuckle mother says:


    have you felt the hand of history on your shoulder yet?

  441. 441
    BBC News says:

    Reports circulating earlier today that Jonathan Ross has been offered the post of hosting Question Time has been denied by senior BBC officials. In other news, Andy Coulson, who as David Cameron’s director of communications was forced to resign amid the phone tapping scandal was spotted buying a lottery ticket in a newsagents in Wandsworth.

  442. 442
    Anonymous says:

    They have 18.7 % fewer muslims ?

  443. 443
    Anonymous says:

    Wanna make more £££ on travel expenses ? I know, let’s …

  444. 444
    God is an Englishman. says:

    It’s a shoe-in for the fragrant Polly Toynbee, in line with the BBC’s unwritten charter!

  445. 445
    God is an Englishman. says:

    Seriously folks – Lord Tebbit is the perfect choice!

  446. 446
    The Golem says:

    +1 true entertainment. A complete fantasy though.

  447. 447
    John Bellingham says:

    And injected with Gypsy genes.

  448. 448
    Spitting camel says:

    Col Gaddafi?

  449. 449
    John Bellingham says:

    Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer. They are used to goading scumbags.

  450. 450
    Itchy camel says:

    Do these geriatric leftist fuckers ever look in the mirror and think: “You know, espousing such views when I was 17 was cute. Now I sound like a complete dick, spitting on the graves of a million victims of ‘socialism'”

  451. 451
    roger37 says:

    Frederick Forsyth. From my point of view the man is competely unbiased.

  452. 452
    lbw says:

    Why dont they have a guest host each week…

  453. 453
    John Bellingham says:

    I recall reading that when Dimblebum hit age 65 he was asked to retire as a BBC employee. Apparently he broke down and blubbed and offered to work for half fees if he was kept on as a freelancer. Perhaps he could swop jobs with a much youger man , Paxo (aged 60 and a half) could take QT, Dumbledown could do Univerity Challenge and Frankie Boyle could take Newsnight.

  454. 454
    V says:


  455. 455
    Brillo's iPad 2 says:

    Brillo would be a fantastic choice, but the BBC would never allow it. When is Cameron going to get off his fucking arse and start privatising them? It’s beyond a joke.

  456. 456

    The Grammar was second choice for the Paisley intelligentsia, which you would know if you really came from there.

    Honour and glory to J.N.I

  457. 457
    Quantrill says:

    401 You are Mr Praline and I claim my £5

  458. 458
    Quantrill says:


  459. 459
    Quantrill says:

    Of course, Jethro

  460. 460
    The Grim Reaper says:

    Thank you Rats arse. I will not be lowering my scythe near any rat’s nether regions for some time to come…..

  461. 461
    John Bellingham says:

    Too “County”

  462. 462
    eugene says:

    Colonel Gaddafi- he needs a job, will go down well at the beeb and will allow opponents, unlike Dimbledum, to have their fair say.

  463. 463
    Anon. says:

    I’m sorry but the diddymen are fully employed at the jam buttee mines and doing overtime at the broken biscuit factory. They do not wish to give up their full-time jobs for this over-hyped gig. And Ken says he isn’t required – our politicians are already a running joke.

  464. 464
    Mungo Jerry fan says:

    My nomination is for Basil Brush. Second choice would be Sooty.

  465. 465
    Jock scoff says:

    A bowl of porridge.

  466. 466
    Anon. says:

    Richard Bacon, the poor man’s Alan Partridge.

  467. 467
    The BBC says:

    We operate an equal opportunities policy and welcome applications from all pigs. Just because they have no qualifications, it doesn’t mean they can’t do the job, does it?

  468. 468
    John Bellingham says:

    Apart from being an offensive moron, if Will Self was any more left wing he would make Fidel Castro look like the Chairman of the Tonbridge Wells League of Empire Loyalists.

  469. 469
    Heretic says:

    Bollocks,the Dumblebees have garnered plenty of stuff.
    (not Dad who was GREAT)

  470. 470
    Heretic says:

    PLEASEv PLEASE take every and ALL oportunities ( sic )
    to diss this absolute piece of shit !!
    (in or out of the news,kick him !)

  471. 471
    T M Allen says:

    Polly in the chair at BBC’s Question Time: only with Littlejohn & his gob next to her, then at least we’ll all have someone to laugh at

  472. 472
    Heretic says:

    AHA whats HE worth (a wank ?)

  473. 473
    jgm2 says:

    No muslim (or black person) would want to live in such a cold, inhospitable climate.

    That and the fact – and this is true – that you do you know those overhead signs they have on motorways to warn of (say) accidents or roadworks which, when all is running smoothly, say things like ‘Tiredness can kill – take a break’?

    Those signs?

    Well in Scotland they say ‘Don’t take drugs and dr*ve’ and ‘Stamp out racism’. Which gives you a clue as to what the problems are in Scotland.

    The Muslims (and blacks) are too afraid to move to Scotland.

  474. 474
    Heretic says:

    Does he take up the BBC ??

  475. 475
    Heretic says:

    RAB C NESBIT , gorgeous !!

  476. 476
    Heretic says:

    I do stuff for the mentally challenged,but i have alzheimers,
    thank i don’t have alzheimers.

  477. 477
    God is an Englishman. says:

    Vorderman is a MILF, eye-candy for old men.

  478. 478
    God is an Englishman. says:

    As an old LOL member I resent that!. I didn’t live in Tonbridge Wells – it was Gerrards Cross.

  479. 479
    God is an Englishman. says:

    A,K. Chesterton’s memory lives on!

  480. 480
    God is an Englishman. says:

    Who IS this Cheryl Cole I see mentioned all over the dead tree press.
    Is she a footballer’s WAG?

  481. 481
    God is an Englishman. says:

    OMG I get sweaty when I see Carole Lirkwood – much more trim these days too.

  482. 482
    Arsenal Whinger says:

    I may be available shortly.

  483. 483
    God is an Englishman. says:

    Too Brown.

  484. 484
    flip nit says:

    Don’t be confused, it is not Salford that they are headed to, it is Salford Quays…VERY different, and if you think the beeboids are going to be living there, you are again, very much mistaken, with Alderley Edge, Mobberly and Knutsford but a short prius journey away.

  485. 485
    Willsteed says:

    Question 1)
    – Given you are the chairman, why do you feel the need to repeatedly interrupt participants when they are trying to speak, in order to put forth your own opinion?
    Question 2)
    You were in the Bullingdon Club weren’t you?

  486. 486
    Foo says:

    You should sue them.
    Question time is monkey tennis.

  487. 487
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    So Guido is seeking to send the great and the good from the commentariat to the hell hole that is Glasgow?

  488. 488
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Interesting suggestion but the position would neuter both of them.

  489. 489
    Disgusted of Neasden says:

    What about Victoria Coren? I can think of a couple of good points in her favour.

  490. 490
    Lomax says:

    I understand there is a very talented broadcaster called ‘Jedward’ – she may be a breath of fresh hair.

  491. 491
    matthew hopkins says:

    glasgow? frankie Boyle….

  492. 492
    Anonymous says:

    The sockpuppeting accusation isn’t true.

  493. 493
    Aristitle says:

    Wait a minute – isn’t Question Time filmed in a new location each week?

  494. 494
    JamesII says:

    Look on the bright side Mr Dimbleby. If you are sad we are happy!

    Basically we want new programmes in Scotland, not old tired ones. Nor do want old tired biased presenters either. We want to build a Scottish programme making industry.

    We already do not get our share of the license fee, 2% returned to Scotland from 9% handed over to London. Who said Dick Turpin was dead?.

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