The “Breaking” Story From Celebrity Big Brother

Last week Guido promised to watch Celebrity Big Brother “so that you don’t have to”. It turns out it’s unwatchable rubbish.

In the couple of times he has managed to tune in, he’s caught Sally discussing the impact that the show would have on the authority of the Speaker’s office with a gypsy, as well as being offered a “vajazzle” by the cute one off of The Only Way is EssexThere is no word on whether John would approve of that…

With an eye for the headline, the producers set Sally the task of making everyone in the house dress in bed sheets. The tabloids wrote themselves the next day…

Yes it’s all go and utterly riveting. Though it could all be over soon. Sally is up for eviction on Friday along with Kerry Katona. It looks like the fight to stay in the house is getting dirty

Tom Harris explains why he wants to be the leader of the Scottish Labour Party:

“I have a masochistic streak in me” 

Beckham Hacking: Mirror Cover-Up (Part I)

In an effort to be helpful, Guido has today written to the Mirror Group’s Legal Director, Paul Vickers, who is conducting an internal investigation into allegations of Mirror Group hacking and blagging. So far Vickers has discovered nothing, not a single bit of wrongdoing. Mirror Group CEO Sly Bailey will be so disappointed. Maybe this will help him:

How much hush-money did the Mirror Group pay David Brown to buy his silence about widespread hacking of celebrities and politicians done from within the Mirror’s newsroom? Tom Watson and the DCMS Select Committee don’t seem very interested in hacking when it was done by Mirror journalists under Piers Morgan. Perhaps Lord Justice Leveson’s inquiry will take a harder look…

UPDATE: Trinity Media’s press office confirm that David Brown left the business on April 5, 2006. So it would be more precise to say in the above letter that the settlement, rather than the sacking, was in 2007. The Press Gazette covered the story and the threat of an imminent industrial tribunal immediately after the sacking.

Ministry of Pound

The April to June party funding figures are out today and providing something to do during recess for Whitehall correspondents:

Nothing like a little donation to keep the local MP happy with all the noise and drugs around Elephant and Castle… isn’t that right Mr Hughes?

UPDATE: Guido revealed back in 2006 that Simon Hughes ran his leadership bid from the club and is good mates with the owner.

Bowen Bowen Gone!

At the beginning of the Libyan uprising back in February, the BBC’s esteemed Middle East Editor Jeremy Bowen was nowhere to be seen. He had snuck off to the slopes…

When he did finally get back to the action, his soft-stance on Gaddafi raised eyebrows, particularly back in June when he said:

“More questions now seem likely about what Nato is doing in Libya and what it is achieving – not least by Nato members who never agreed with the operation” 

Well it seems that the fearless and impartial Bowen hasn’t bothered to stick around to find answers to those questions. Guido’s Beeboid co-conspirators are strongly hinting that Bowen has jetted off for another holiday during the finale. Given that even Sky’s most vehement critics concede that they have thrashed the BBC in terms of Libya coverage, on a fraction of the budget, perhaps it’s time for a revolution on the Middle East desk…

Dark News for Ed

Now Saif Gaddafi is beyond his help, Mandy has turned back to domestic affairs to dispense advice. And it’s not good news for Ed.

Pitching his stall behind the pay wall over at The Times, the Dark Lord declares that there isn’t much that Labour can do about the riots, given how recently they were in power. Instead of working out a strategy around this, Mandy instead dissects the problems barring the coalition from being a “joined up government”. Looking at the inter, and internal, party problems. Many in Labour will be upset that he looks to be offering the government, not Ed, help to get out of their problems:

“The coalition’s programme will hardly be advanced if every time a Tory minister floats ideas of reform it draws an indignant riposte from a Lib Dem colleague who feels left out of the discussion.

Since May, Mr Clegg has succeeded in looking less meek and hard done-by. He has found a stronger voice and has benefited from this. But if he and his colleagues forget their collective responsibility to make the coalition work, and that government by hissy fit is not the way to make good policy, they will be as much the losers as everyone else.”

Telling Team Ed that they can do nothing but attack cracks in the government is just what the Labour leader needs in the run up to increasingly difficult looking conference…

REMAIN TAKES PROJECT FEAR TO CHURCH REMAIN TAKES PROJECT FEAR TO CHURCH
SOUBRY’S BIG NISSAN-DERSTANDING SOUBRY’S BIG NISSAN-DERSTANDING
JIM SHANNON ORDERED TO REPAY £14,000 EXPENSES JIM SHANNON ORDERED TO REPAY £14,000 EXPENSES
PAY “ONLY REAL RED LINE” FOR BMA JUNIOR DOCTOR LEADERSHIP PAY “ONLY REAL RED LINE” FOR BMA JUNIOR DOCTOR LEADERSHIP
NET MIGRATION UP 20,000 TO 333,000 NET MIGRATION UP 20,000 TO 333,000
POLICE INVESTIGATING TESSA MUNT ELECTION EXPENSES POLICE INVESTIGATING TESSA MUNT ELECTION EXPENSES
LEAVE.EU ON HOOK FOR £500,000 BREXIT GIG LEAVE.EU ON HOOK FOR £500,000 BREXIT GIG
TRUMP SINGS “WE’RE GONNA BUILD A WALL” TRUMP SINGS “WE’RE GONNA BUILD A WALL”
OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID
EDDIE IZZARD’S HOTEL BILLS NOT LAWFULLY DECLARED EDDIE IZZARD’S HOTEL BILLS NOT LAWFULLY DECLARED
POLITICAL PARTY RICHLIST POLITICAL PARTY RICHLIST
EU PLOTS TAX ID NUMBERS FOR EVERY EUROPEAN CITIZEN EU PLOTS TAX ID NUMBERS FOR EVERY EUROPEAN CITIZEN
MUNT ADMITS SHE DIDN’T DECLARE LOCAL CAMPAIGN TRANSPORT MUNT ADMITS SHE DIDN’T DECLARE LOCAL CAMPAIGN TRANSPORT
OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID OZBOT VERSUS ANDROGENOID
“Fat Cats For EU” “Fat Cats For EU”
“CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS “CHEATED” LIBDEM PICTURED CAMPAIGNING ON BATTLE BUS
CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL CHRISTINE HAMILTON HIRED ON THE PUBLIC PAYROLL
CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE CONSERVATIVES IN: SPOT THE DIFFERENCE
HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS HULL UNIVERSITY THIRD TO DISAFFILIATE FROM NUS
CAMERON’S AIRFARE FABLE CAMERON’S AIRFARE FABLE
TELEGRAPH BLOODBATH: NEW JOBS CULL UNDERWAY TELEGRAPH BLOODBATH: NEW JOBS CULL UNDERWAY
CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE CCHQ FREEZE MPS AND ASSOCIATIONS OUT OF VOTE SOURCE
OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT OSBORNE MISSED BORROWING TARGET BY EVEN MORE THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT
POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES POLICE INVESTIGATING SHADOW MINISTER OVER ELECTION EXPENSES
TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA TOOTING BY-ELECTION CAMPAIGN KICKS OFF IN BATTERSEA
ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN ELECTORAL COMMISSION ON JOCK-‘COPTER CAMPAIGN
STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION STURGEON DUCKS CHOPPER QUESTION
NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE NUS CHIEF EXECUTIVE PAID FIVE TIMES AVERAGE GRADUATE
CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN CORBYN CLAPPED COMMIE LEADER FOR REFUSING TO TOAST THE QUEEN
SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY SNP CHOPPER NOT DECLARED PROPERLY