August 12th, 2011

Red Len to Be Ed’s Chief of Staff

Guido is hearing from well placed sources that Chris Lennie, Ed’s preferred, yet unsuccessful, candidate to be the General Secretary of the Labour Party, is set to be made his Chief-of-Staff.  The Labour leader has struggled to fill the position. Lennie, known as “The Tailor” for his ability to stitch things up, lost out to union backed Iain McNicol, yet apparently Ed is ready to bring him into the fold. There have been rumblings amongst party staff who complain that Lennie is “the great survivor” always bouncing back despite a lack of any discernible talent. No wonder Ed loves him so much…


  1. 1
    Ed Balls says:

    So what?

  2. 2
    Throg_lodge says:

    Good to see that they are keeping Team Miliband a competence free zone

  3. 3
    Chris Lennie Henry says:

    Neither Guido Fawkes nor Mrs Fawkes can be named at this stage for legal reasons.

    “a posistion the Labour leader”

    What is a posistion ????

  4. 4
    Sir William Waad says:

    You really do a proof reader. or else just press F7.

  5. 5
    imnumbervi says:

    Blimey, sort out your spelling – it’s like reading a text from a teenager with dyslexia.

  6. 6
    Sir William Waad says:

    P.S. Is this the stupidest car ad ever?

  7. 7
    Wapping bung says:

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Great film, The Posistion Adventure’. I loved it.

  10. 10
    Ramrod says:

    Loser. He was Acting Gen Sec of Labour but got shunted sideways.

    More machine politics from Ed. Jobs going to the party cronies.

  11. 11
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Or a middle aged chap who’s been for a “friday lunch”

  12. 12
    Joss Taskin says:

    Billy ??

  13. 13
    annette curton says:

    Spell checker is Billy ver. 000.0.

  14. 14
    BBC Spokesbag says:

    Drop your cocks and reach for your socks it’s NOTW time again boys.

  15. 15
    BaggPuss says:

    Don’t forget the “Beyond the Posistion Adventure”!

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Unbelievable – he was incapable of stitching up a ‘dead cert’ shoe-in to the Gen Sec role. It is his incompetence and slippery nature that is legendary!

  17. 17
    Police Officer says:

    Oh, so you’ve been read texts from a teenagers too Mr imnumbervi.
    Right well then. Where were you on the nights of the 5th the 8th and 9th of this month sir?

  18. 18
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I have a DVD of “Beyond the position adventure”. Its almost worn out even though DVDs -in theory- don’t.

  19. 19
    albacore says:

    On my keyboard that turns on some gismo called Caret Browsing.
    Fawkes’ problem’s more likely clarets than carets.

  20. 20
    Poofter says:

    If this cu’nt is another of the hordes of leftist parasites who’ve made lots of money wailing against the unfairness of the system!!!!…he is perfect for the role as the plasticine Shlomo’s henchman

  21. 21
    The British Public have more things to concern them now says:

    Sorry chaps…the news agenda has moved on…nobody is the slightest bit interested in this anymore

  22. 22
    What a plonker. says:

    This is great news , red Len working for Red Ed Militwat .This all helps to keep the bastards out of power for years. and please keep Balls and mad Haty . Perfect.

  23. 23
    Mrs Burcow Celeb BB says:

    Hold on a minute the Guardian will have half it’s hacks doing nothing.

  24. 24
    Lord Prescotts of Birds Eyes says:

    Shuddup fooken Tory ponce

    You come round my grave and favour residence with that Tory shit and arll fooken punch yer fooken lights out Tory silver spoon nancy boy bastard

    Ar dant use punctuation neither as ar didnt go to fooken eton poncy boy bastard

  25. 25
    NotAnotherOne? says:

    News must be slow today Guido, last 3 items about Ed.

  26. 26
    Please twitter off immediately...thank you says:

    If you could also arrest all those middle class liberal z list celebrities on twitter tweeting about their inane boring and monotonous lives every 10 seconds…. that would be an extremely useful public service

  27. 27
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I tell you what: I’m bloody glad that I didn’t know about such things.

  28. 28
    Mrs Burcow Celeb BB says:

    But seems purrfect as Red Ed’s noseman (meant bagman)

  29. 29
    Stinkfinger says:

    I went to Chris (The Tailor) Lennie for a quote on a suit with no pockets,no buttons and no lapels.
    When I asked how much it would cost he said “mmmm with all those extra’s”

  30. 30
    Sir Hugh Orde says:

    Fuck you. Fuck you all. My police are brilliant. You bastards don’t deserve us. You’d be stuffed without us. Where would you be without us standing around watching looters smash your neighbourhoods, eh? Eh?

    And don’t you even think of getting a competent copper in from the US to sort us out. Don’t even think of it. Fuck off.

  31. 31
    Laba Loota says:

    Boring man appoints someone else boring to do a boring job.

  32. 32
    Joss Taskin says:

    Is his surname Lennie or Lenin ??

  33. 33
    Chris "No Talent" Lennie says:

    I have succeeded BECAUSE I have no discernable talent Guido

    Like the rest of them..Just look at my hero Empty Ed…

    How do you think that a bunch of teaboys can be representing the Labour Party in Parliament if a total lack of talent and experience were not pre-requisites…?

  34. 34
    Laba Loota says:

    Anything about Ed Miliband’s enough to make people laugh. A loser with a weird voice.

  35. 35
    retardEd Miliband says:

    And your point ith what?

    I am a theriouth politithian and I detherve to be theen at every pothible opportunity.

  36. 36
    Rat's arse says:

    Billy must be standing in for Guido.

  37. 37
    Clarence says:

    Good lunch, Guido?

  38. 38
    Trotsky says:

    He changed it like his boss…

    It is a pre-requisite before they destroy the country

  39. 39
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    An Opposition of the talentless.

    No surprises here then.

  40. 40
    Bob the Builder says:


    In your photo of Pitiful Ed above

    It looks as thought he is crying out for Mummy…

    Has it got to him that he is a third class adolescent jerk ?

  41. 41
    Jack says:


    Is the Fink still alive then ?

    PS And when will the Times be closed down ?

  42. 42
    Rightwing Nutter says:

    There’s absolutely no need for all that language sir.

  43. 43
    MiguelM says:

    Its DISCERNIBLE I think……………

  44. 44
    Blue Skies Hilton, Cameron's one man wank tank says:

    I was looking out of my window in No 10 on Monday evening and i expected the usual blue skies

    I sasw black skies and smoke so I called my friend Dave and told him our social policies were not working..”He said you mean blue skies have become black? Gioiod Giod…I paid you to solve all our social problems, Hilton..and they have just got worse”

  45. 45
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:





    pfft… Esay thsi speling larc

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    I wonder if Team Ed have ever thought about giving someone a job who didn’t work against Ed during the Leadership election. In fact if you worked for David Miliband, you’re more likely to get a job in Team Ed.

    I know they say keep your enemies close, but this is ridiculous…..

  47. 47
    Jack says:

    Its crooks investigating crooks

    I am told the whole of the Met is bent…

    Small “favours” for Bobbies on the beat

    Up to free spas and holidays for the bosses

  48. 48
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Pop in to any backstreet pub and you’ll find a hack from the local rag buying a few pints for the off-duty local Bobby in return for ‘information received’.

    It’s called real life – get over it.

  49. 49
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    I AM FIRST CLASS !!!!!

  50. 50
    Duncan says:

    Is that you Justine?

    Stood against his own brother, didn’t get the support of his MPs and he’s more opportunist that the youth of Tottenham. He’s fair game.

  51. 51
    Laba Loota says:

    Look closely and he’s removed the headrest covers that say FIRST just for the cameras. What a fake.

  52. 52
    Sportsfan says:

    There was another Red Len about 20 odd years ago. Can’t remember his surname but he was the leader of one of the unions.

  53. 53
    We warned you punks says:

    “A council tenant has been served with an eviction notice after her son appeared in court charged with rioting, the Wandsworth Guardian reports. The notice is thought to the be the first of many attempts by councils to boot out residents accused of taking part in the riots. ”

    No rehousing these scum!

  54. 54
    BLOB CROW says:


  55. 55
    Gooey Blob says:

    It’s very difficult to find talent in Labour’s ranks at the moment. They really need to retire a few MPs to bring in a fresh intake at the next election.

    Maybe that’ll start to change if Purnell ever decides to come back. Right now, Labour really are a Sunday league team.

  56. 56
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    well it certainly wouldnt make me buy a new car.

    Is this based on a TV ad? If it is I’m glad it washed over me like water of a ducks back.

  57. 57
    Loungelizard says:

    Upchucka hasn’t reported in for work at KFC since last friday, anyone seen him?

  58. 58
    Mr & Mrs Ball-Scooper, Triple Flippers says:

    We’re both very close to Ed.

  59. 59
    anonymous says:

    what is this ed miliband day?

    anything to change the subject and ‘save’ the government

  60. 60
    Head Bawls says:

    I’m lying low until a double dip recession comes about.

  61. 61
    Faceless Bureaucrat says:

    Chris Lennie? – ha ha ha ha!

    I’m staggered that he is still getting work.

    That said, knowing the difficulty Milipede is having recruiting staff, maybe it’s not so surprising after all…


  62. 62
    Stinkfinger says:

    Where is the pissed soaked scotsman in the carriage?…..oh I forgot, Ed replaced him.

  63. 63
    Spelling Pedantry says:

    CLH you picked up on a typo but not on what is undoubtedly a chink in Senor Fawkes’ education, namely spelling. …a lack of any descernable talent was surely meant to be …a lack of any discernible talent.

    Senor Fawkes a victim of NuLiebor’s Educashion, Educashion, Educashion? Surely he’s too old?

  64. 64
    Sir William Waad says:

    Also ‘amongst’ and ‘survivor’

  65. 65
    youright meduck says:

    and mine

  66. 66
    Al Gore 'The Orrible truth' says:

    Oi Lennie Henry,when did you replace your condenced milk sandwiches with a fucking great chip?

  67. 67
    Dilligaff says:


  68. 68
    Coz I'm the son of a single mum says:

    Get a good view of the looting and burning did Hughie. Or was ‘ealth & safety on yor mind?

  69. 69
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    The first one exists:
    “an intense feeling of apprehension, anxiety or inner turmoil when you realise that you are Ed Milliband”

  70. 70
    Ed Milibandofbrothers says:

    I have every (squeak) confidence in Mr Lenin (honk) who does have dithernable talent whatever nathty Guido thays. Why, only the other day when Mr Baldwin thaid “This is my line on the riots” Mr Lenin (thqueak) thaid “I bet that got up your nothe!”

  71. 71
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Hey, he’th finally talking about me! Me and my polithieth!

    Don’t thtop him. I am bathking in my fifteen minuteth of fame, before returning to political obthcurity.

  72. 72
    Dilligaff says:

    And “General Secretary of the Labour *Party*” Please employ a sub, Guido.

  73. 73
    Al Gore 'The Orrible truth' says:

    Robbing is better than working at KFC…it’s pocketpicking good.

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    You’ll be lying a long time then.

  75. 75
    nell says:

    “an experienced hatchet man – a corridor assassin – his inter-personal skills are not much appreciated” and that’s the view from the left!

    This man is damianmcbrideII !

    Good move militwit !

  76. 76
    nell says:

    Ah C’mon folks it is Friday – young Neo-Guido has probably posted this one from a place of convivial companionship.

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    You’re in for a long lie in.

  78. 78
    Al Gore 'The Orrible truth' says:

    I bet his real nickname was Chris (The stitch) if the truth be known.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Our ‘Arry loves a bung he does

  80. 80

    Blimey Fawkes, don’t you have a spellchecker there? There’s a free plugin for WordPress, free plugins for Firefox, and free spellcheckers in the web aplenty.

    Wouldn’t want others to think you are an ignoramus would we?

  81. 81
    Bryony Gordon says:

    Did someone say moist?

  82. 82
    Bill d'Sarse says:


  83. 83

    Why it doesn’t matter who Labour hire, their economic policy is so fundamentally flawed that they should never be allowed in Downing Street again :

  84. 84
    Waste of space says:

    Never held down a normal job, never will.

  85. 85
    Pedant says:

    5 mistakes in 6 lines is a new Guido record. I think Billy has taken over editorial – I also presume you meant to say “do NEED a proof reader”

  86. 86
    The Observer says:

    Poor Hughie Oddie is coming over all political.
    We expect the police to be able to do both the tactical and operational planning and implementation and even some of the strategic work. But they did need a good kick up the pants to get moving after 48 hours of looting and this is self evident in these days of 24/7 news.
    Reminds me – he “inadvertently” let slip the police cuts at the end of June this year. Got all his gongs under Blair and Brown so is now coming out fighting? Labour tactics that – if in the wrong come out fighting.
    He had better watch his pension.

  87. 87
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    It’s very important that the talents of a CoS complement the Leader. Ed’s got it just right.

  88. 88
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Stop using it as a coaster then.

  89. 89
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    TB is right in the zone though – Guido must have left him alone in the office again.

  90. 90
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    condensed. Schoolboy error spoils the line.

  91. 91
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Par for the course then.

  92. 92
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Portsmouth Police are not bent and the senior officers are not members of the same Masonic Lodge as me, the Chief Executive, and other senior council officers and the handpicked ones from my boys, the drugdealers, oops sorry, property developers, known locally as the Portsmouth businessmen. Boaz.

  93. 93
    Harry says:

    I do love a bung but I like doing business in portsmouth more. This is how it is done with Handycock being Head of Planning. If he can’t bulldoze it through the planning commitee, just torch it.

  94. 94
    Sir Hugh Orde says:

    Don’t you tell me what language I can use!

    No one tells me what to do. Not you, not the politicians, no one. My brave cowardly officers stood for hours whilst dangerous 11 year-olds ran riot. It takes a lot of training to deal with that.

    So don’t you tell me what I can say. My pigshit officers are great. So you and everyone else in Britain who despises the police – that’ll be all of you – can get stuffed.

  95. 95
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  96. 96
    Must be summat in t'water says:

    Agree. High time Orde and his ACPO cronies were Orde-ered off out of it.

  97. 97
    Sportsfan says:

    Yes, that’s him. Thanks Dilligaff. Memory not what it used to was these days…

  98. 98
    Another ancient sportsfan says:


  99. 99
    Froggy, Arry's Partner, says:

    For fuck’s sake ‘Arry, don’t drop Handy in the shit, he is worth millions to us all.

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