August 8th, 2011

Laws on His Way Back to Westminster

Guido spotted David Laws sauntering through China Town laden with two bags of books from Foyles bookshop in Charing Cross this afternoon. Heavy reading for his summer holidays perhaps. Laws is the only person in Westminster with more money than Guido riding on Chris Huhne being charged for perverting the course of justice as a result of transferring speeding penalty points to his wife. One-in, one-out is the coalition’s rule.

If Huhne goes, the expense fiddling Laws is favourite to come back into government. His mummy made him do it – fiddle his expenses that is – in the sense that he expects us to believe he only fiddled his expenses because he didn’t want his mother to find out he had a boyfriend. We’re all expected to forget about the matter of the supposed gift of £99,000 to his boyfriend, which a cynic might think was gifted in order to facilitate the boyfriend buying a property which Laws could pretend to part-rent from a landlord-owned property in which he had no interest. The £99,000 was a gift you see, not a loan towards the deposit on the property. If it was a loan Laws would have been guilty of a conspiracy to defraud the taxpayer. It was a gift, which is very different.

Completely plausible is it not? How could anyone doubt the truth? Give a gift to a lover equivalent two two years after-tax salary, then pretend that the landlord we have given the gift to isn’t your lover only so as not to embarrass mum. Then claim rent to pay the landlord/lover on expenses. The £99,000 gift not giving one an interest in the property one is renting.

His return to government will make a welcome change to having that liar Chris Huhne in the Cabinet won’t it?


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Terrible move, he should be prosecuted!


    • 9
      Judy Judy says:

      guido – can we have graphic of scalps you after, with posts against them, and days they survive being in your sites.

      nice to see who lasts longest – and we (lickers) can come back as see the scores on the doors in one visit….

      pretty please…..


      • 26
        P. Doff says:

        Did you ever attend secondary school… or are you writing in code?


        • 29
          Admiral Leach says:

          Unfair on secondary schools as they used to be (up to 1979) rather good, they have in my experience produced some excellent Petty Officers. I think you mean a comprehensive school?


          • Chief Superintendent Sandra Loob y (Tottenham commander) says:

            Hi everyone! Having wonderful time in Florida! Just want to say thanks to those generous people in Wapping for “sponsoring” my holiday, sorry business trip.

            Love and kisses to all the girls in the office, especially the dishy new cadet intake , and say hi to Cressida. See ya in October!


          • Private Parts says:

            How much shit is left on your dick when you withdraw from your boyfriend?

            Just curious


        • 126
          Rage Against the Political Elite says:

          The Met has lost control of the streets and no wonder. HAVE you seen the size of them, some of those Kids are towering above them.
          1. Whose Idea was it to employ a load of vertically and physically challenged Police officers? Yes Women included.
          Who’s Feminist PC agenda allowed this Police force to have to run away from a bunch of Kids. Its about time the MET took the Streets back, but HOW when the kids will out fight and out run them.


    • 27
      Admiral Leach says:

      If this is the best that can do to replace Huhne then God helps us. I don’t care whether he gave the money back or not, the fact is this man clearly planned to lie and defraud the public. That he should then be given an office of state after this is beyond understanding. This chap wanted to keep his private life private, that’s fine but I don’t expect him to then still to claim public cash of any amount. The argument that he could have claimed over £30k had he been open about his private arrangements is flawed logic. He simply should not have claimed ANY public money and then no one would have been the wiser and his motives would have been unchallengeable. But like all the political class there was public money on the table and he could not leave it alone
      The Coalition is looking threadbare indeed, lacking in real leadership and just as disconnected from the populace


      • 32
        Rat's arse says:

        Unlike the wonderful Lieber Party aye Admiral? Now they really are whiter than white.


        • 42
          Admiral Leach says:

          Dear Rat’s Arse,
          Far from it you mistake a demand for probity and morals from our leaders of any kind as partisan support. My comments apply to all three major parties (and some of the minor ones).


    • 77
      Sir William Waad says:

      Plus, of course, he wasn’t compelled to claim the expense money at all. His mum would never have known he wasn’t claiming it.

      Laws also said that he thought the claim was all right because he was ‘not in a spousal relationship’ with the other chap. He should have to answer questions about how often they squabble about whose turn it is to do what, who’s got all the towels wet and will you PLEASE stop farting in bed.


    • 95
      Iloathlefties says:

      I think this is straight forward false accounting and he should face the courts and be convicted. If we did this to our employer that is exactly what would happen to us!! Why have the Police/CPS taken a year to investigate this? Are they hoping we’d all forget about his criminality before he is put back in Government?
      He is simply an unfit person to hold high office. Fullstop.


    • 99
      Popeye says:

      Are you calling that nice Mr Laws a liar? I believe him implicitly, like I believe all Politicians!


    • 101
      Sophie says:

      If the answer to Huhne is Laws then we are truly fucked.

      This is the final nail for Cameron with the right wing of his party.

      As difficult as it was to leave the Conservative Party recent events fully support my move to UKIP – the true party of Conservative values in Great Britain.

      Blue Labour out.


    • 103
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Coment of the day? Please


    • 119
      andy says:

      “perhaps. Laws is the only person in Westminster with more money than Guido riding on Chris Huhne being charged for perverting the course of justice”

      Credit where its due thats a cracking line

      Andrew Edinburgh


  2. 2

    Oooooch, now that is a right royal shafting.


  3. 3
    Mike Hunt says:

    Thanks, I was getting bored with people taking the piss out of Prescott.


    • 74
      PD77 says:

      There’s always time to extract the urine from Lard Presclott, he’s like the gift that keeps on giving!


    • 105
      Anonymous says:

      Ther’s no more piss left to take from Presc*t, only wind.That will then leave an empty blob of blubber.


  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Someone wrote on this blog (comments section) that Laws had repaid the money, Can you confirm this or was it another Hazel (wave the cheque at the camera) Blears where we still dont know if she ever paid what she said she would?


    • 6
      Judy Judy says:

      i though blears gave cheque to tax man – and as you cant do that – taxman will execmpt her from tax this year – so she gets it back in this years tax code ?


    • 7
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      42 words without a spelling mistake and only 1 glaring punctuation error? You cannot be the real Billy.


  5. 5
    Peter Grimes says:

    That OTHER liar Chris Hoon, don’t you mean?


  6. 8
    Anonymous says:

    If only he’d waited for the riots to begin in Charing Cross, he could have saved himself a few bob… I mean he’s one of the elite, he shouldn’t have to pay, and I mean it’s all insured, victimless crime, innit… and well the coppers are all bent on the make and on the take as well…


  7. 11
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    An Irish guy I know went looting in Tottenham last night.

    He gave up when he didn’t have a pound coin for a trolley


    • 78
      PD77 says:

      Was that the same one who tried to blow up a Police car, but had to stop when he burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe?


  8. 12
    I would rather die fighting for my freedoms than be controlled by socialist dogshit in Edinburgh says:

    Replacing one criminal with another? I am not convinced the voters will like it. Support for the Lib Dems is at an all time low. It will take a generation before the Lib Dumbs get anywhere near to being a credible and trustworthy party again.


  9. 13
    Desmond Two Two says:

    Too many twos. Too few tos.


  10. 15
    eeu to me says:

    If he’s brought back into goverment then we will really know where we stand, we will also know which way to vote in three and a half years time.


    • 40
      Eamonn U Ensis says:

      Yeah Conservative unless you want an even bigger fuck up !!


      • 102
        Sophie says:

        Why keep voting for the same disease?

        The politics of fear will not win the next GE for Cameron – I have just left the Conservative Party & joined UKIP.

        No fear here – Conservatives have been destroyed from within by Heathie liberal & ever so rusty Dave.

        The post Dave era approaches…


      • 106
        Anonymous says:

        No way Eamonn;not if they are still led by spineless Cam*ron.


  11. 17
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “Crime must not pay” Tag?


  12. 18
    Jimmy says:

    Perhaps you should try predicting that Huhne is safe and that it will all blow over. After all it worked with Laws.


  13. 19
    Anonymous says:

    david laws in and nations laws out

    so whats new?


  14. 20
    Hoon of the Huhnery says:

    Tell the truth and shame the devil. Lib Dems are just devious c u n t s.


  15. 22
    Slumber party says:

    Boris coming back from his holiday.

    Things must be serious.


    • 31
      May does her Daughter of Thatcher Act for the BBC says:

      Theresa May effectively tells lefty liberal bleeding hearts at the BBC that this is NOT about deprivation or racial memories of Toxteth crap or any other excuse it is purely about criminality;thuggery and looting pure and simple and offenders WILL be prosecuted.It’s up to the Community Leaders to get a grip.In the meantime the police WILL deal with the situation robustly(subtext: Nobody fucks with MY holiday plans and gets away with it !!)


      • 56
        Grumpy Old Man says:

        If hug-a-hoody leaves her to get on with it, and the Treasury divert some of that overseas aid cash to deal with the overseas problems in London, Mrs May might just pull it off (Mind Bleach!) sorry, restore law and order. Mind you, that’s two big ifs. Dave has been consistent in shafting his ministers when the going gets tough.


      • 85
        Oi Vey May says:

        Anyone who so much as touches a single hair on the head of a banker gets renditioned to Guantanamo, as a Terrorist against the Chosen Ones. Is that clear?


        • 90
          alexsandr says:

          watching beeb – plod just standing in groups watching

          why dont they get on with it and disperse the crowds.


          • Anonymous says:

            Why? Because they haven’t been given the necessary orders and the tear gas,water cannons,rubber bullets,tazers. That’s why.They are being put in the firing line with one arm tied behind their backs.


          • Beeboid spotter says:

            Because the BBC will then crucify them as responsible for everything thats happends over the next few days

            Not true of course but thats what they will do


          • Hugh Janus says:

            “why dont they get on with it and disperse the crowds.”

            Waiting for someone to finish the 23-page risk assessment?


  16. 24
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Has anybody else thought that this business in Tottenham and Brixton is just a very elaborate publicity stunt for the new Planet of the Apes movie?


    • 39
      SaltPetre says:

      Except apes can be quite intelligent creatures and don’t go looting tracksuits in sports shops.


    • 64
      Gooey Blob says:

      It’s just anarchists throwing rocks, drug addicts looting and a few loony lefties attempting to legitimise the thuggery by blaming cuts that haven’t even been implemented yet.

      Never mind riot police, they should bus in a few drunken Millwall supporters, they’d give the rioters a good kicking. Or even better, a few radical feminist nut jobs with PMT. That ought to disperse ‘em…

      Does anybody know if Harriet Harm-men is on holiday?


  17. 25
    colin says:

    Why hasn’t he been prosecuted?


  18. 28
    pissed off voter says:

    If Laws makes a comeback, it will not reflect well on Cameron.


  19. 30
    sg-strummer says:

    The more things change the more they stay the same.


  20. 33
    The Stilton Eater says:

    I spy a bag carrier.


  21. 34
    Smell the teabags says:

    HackneyAbbott Diane Abbott MP
    Kicking off in Hackney.
    51 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply

    This just popped on the twitter feed for ‘hackney’

    FFS, she sounds like shes on her way to see what she can thief from da Currys innit wif da sistas, not a Member of Parliament. If anyone sees her in new Nike Airs you know shes been getting her fat arrse into Footlockers after closing!!


    • 57
      Subtext says:

      Get down to Hackeny, me bred’ren, and cause a scene. Break, burn and steal as much shit as you can. If any of yous can get yourselves beat up by da police, so much the better, innit. Then I’ll be able to be interviewed on TV and shit and tell everyone how it’s the fault of the Tory-led coalition and all the cuts and whatnot, fo’ shizzle.

      You’ll be able to watch me on your new TVs (best make sure they’re proper widescreen).


  22. 35
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Can we have Baroness Thatcher back as P.M?

    She sits in the Lords so could takeover from Dave, Plus she is head and shoulders above of anyone in the current cabnait.


    • 44
      SaltPetre says:

      YES please !!


    • 46
      Past glories sadly fade with old age says:

      The “old girl” is not what she was in her prime Billy….comes to us all……still Theresa May seems to be able to kick ass and would perhaps be a better replacement for “Dave”


    • 84
      PD77 says:

      IIRC you have to be an elected Member of Parliament to hold the position of PM? I could be wrong but someone might point out a precedent, but I’m afraid it’s a pipe dream!


      • 96
        Disco Dave says:

        Incorrect when talking about tories. The Parties have different rules. You need to be (s)elected leader of the tories in order to become PM, being a Lord/Lady is fine.
        Earl or Duke will also do.

        There have been more PM’s that were not MP’s than were.


  23. 37
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    I know he’s an expenses-fiddler, but I would still rather see Laws in a cabinet position than any of the other Limp Dems (except perhaps John Hemming). At least he seems to have at least half a brain in his head, and isn’t nearly as full of the woolly nonsense of the rest of them.


    • 49
      Rat's arse says:

      agree with you no. 37.


    • 68
      Ray Stybrow says:

      He’s a crook. And you’re a c’unt for being an apologist for a crook.
      And that c’unt Rat’s arse.


    • 73
      Ian E says:

      True, but I’d also rather be beaten up than have terminal cancer! Limp-wristed limp dems in the Cabinet – almost as bad as NuLav, not to mention the Cast-Iron-Hypocrite-Party!


    • 83
      Hugh Jeffrey Knight says:

      Laws could hardly be a worse Energy Minister than Huhne, although I can’t think of anybody in Parliament who would be competent in that position. Can you?


      • 115
        straight as I die says:

        laws is more than competent in a whole range of positions – all of which involve him taking his bumchum’s throbbing todger up his all-too-welcoming arsehole.

        unfortunately, we no longer get to subsidise his innocent pleasures


    • 111
      Anonymous says:

      Infuriated @37. Half a brain didn’t serve him very well as a m.p. Would you want that as a cabinet minister?


  24. 38
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Not another Delgir…..sorry Delboy sneaking back into government?? Zero tolerance for looters and bring on the water-cannons!!!!


  25. 43
    Red Beret says:

    The Met have completely LOST IT.

    Time for the army to attend.


    • 48
      Good Idea in theory but one slight problem.... says:

      Small problem “Red Beret”… what Army ? There is no spare personnel/equipment available….it’s called “Mission Overstretch”


      • 93
        Plod says:

        so? so what?

        the police operation is called operation underpants



      • 110
        Must get a pseudonym one day says:

        The military has a strength of over 100,000.

        Fewer than 10,000 are engaged in the current overseas conflicts.

        That leaves 90,000 of our own mercenaries currently available to do what we need them to do, because that’s why we pay them.

        And if they’re not available, then sack them.


  26. 47
    Cameron is a Cunt says:

    I hear that the Home Secretary, having flown back to the UK half way through her tan, has said that the London youth must work with the police.

    wasn’t it only last week that we heard the police were corrupt?


    • 54
      Fairweather Politicians says:

      Nah….”The Police are salt of the earth” particularly when they’re protecting Islington; Notting Hill ;Camden and Hampstead from the mob


  27. 51
    Hoon of the Huhnery says:

    Peter Mandelson was given 3 bites at the cherry. It is likely Laws can make a come back. However voters are extremely fed up with one Law for politicians and another Law for them. Politician are seen as above the Law. If Joe Public fiddled expenses to same degree as politicians they’d be sacked, fined or imprisoned.


  28. 52
    SaltPetre says:

    Remember when British Police could easily deal with a rioting crowd….in India (during the Raj)…in Jerusalem (Palestine Police)….in Belfast. Either they have no longer got the metal to do the job…or they are paralysed with fear of being called un-pc and racist. Either way, they are useless !!


    • 58
      I blame the socialists meself !! says:

      The rank and file have but unfortunately senior officers and politicians haven’t cos’ they’re scared shitless of what the meeja will say if anyone actually talks tough to these yobs


    • 67
      P.C. Filth says:

      Our hands are tied these days, sir, what with The Skycopter etc. Over.


    • 71
      Grumpy Old Man says:

      I suspect that financial constraints imposed in part by siphoning shitloads of borrowed money off to nations who don’t actually like us very much instead of ensuring that homeland security is adequate has led to the police being deployed in insufficient numbers and with insufficient training and equipment to deal with some very unpleasant people. The Looting Parteh’s 13 years of changing the Law to protect the criminally minded from the just retribution of polite society has not helped the fuzz either. Pigeons are coming home to roost on both Parties at this time.


  29. 65
    • 70
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Name rings a bell???

      Wasnt he a student protester that gave it the Peter Crouch (Big one) to the old bill at the student protesters?


      • 91
        Anony Mong says:

        Yup, he was the wheeled mong that tried to play victim when the cops tried to get him to safety. Hope they clamp the feker.


  30. 66
    Ian E says:

    So, who is guiltier of theft – the scum in Tottenham/etc or the scum in Westminster? One law for the first group (albeit the police scum seem too scared to enforce it), one Laws for the second!


  31. 75
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I saw a young lad in Tottenham last night with a television under each arm.

    “Come and get them,” he shouted, “two for a tenner, my last two!”

    “Fucking hell mate did you nick that many TV’s?” I laughed.

    “They’re not for sale, you must think I’m some sort of mindless thug with no brain?” he said. “If you actually look to my side I’m selling petrol bombs.”


  32. 88
    Mandy says:

    I’d give him a good spanking.


  33. 97
    BendyGirl says:

    This is particularly distressing for those of us who have no choice but to rely on welfare benefits. The rules on benefit fraud are very clear – ‘no if’s, no buts, benefit fraud is a crime’ If a disabled person or even single mother ‘forgot’ to declare their live in partner to the DWP they would be rightfully prosectued. The current welfare reforms are predicated on an assumption of widespread abuse and fraud of the system. Whether you believe that to be an accurate reflection of the situation is not relevant here – what is is the hypocrisy of a government insisting this is about the reduction of fraud in welfare benefits, whilst allowing exactly the same fraud not just to go unpunished, but in a sense rewarded because it’s MP’s benefits.
    Very ‘all in it together’


  34. 98
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Look everyone knows that David is a crooked Bender but so are many of his colleagues in the Lib Dems, so no change there. Now for the good news that you have all been waiting for. I have found a new teenage Intern to replace Katya, and she is not Russian but American, her name is Zara Ferjani and she used to work in the hospitality industry (Stripper but don’t tell Jacqui). Read all about it here just scroll down the page a little to read it. Boaz.


  35. 112
    Katya says:

    You unfaithful Bastard. You told me you loved me, especially when you were kissing me there. I am beginning to believe what I have read on these pages, that you really are a Pervert, and, what about the legal costs you promised me, I still haven’t got them.


    • 113
      Handycock (teen Fondler) says:

      Sorry katya, but I have got my urges and I have been going a bit short since you left.


  36. 117
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    If this disgusting little creep gets back in there should be a week of riots. ‘If I can do it, we can do it’ as another vile individual once said.


  37. 120
    what a surprise says:

    Croydon trending on twitter as croyden. Not sure whether
    to blame Labour or Billy.


  38. 128
    the general public says:

    If ever we need evidence that MP’s/government still don’t get the expenses scandal, then Laws return would it.

    Guido, once you triumph in getting the deah penalty petition debted, perhaps your next one should be to get MP’s to live by the same rules and laws that we have to….you know the sort of thing, same level of proof, same scrutiny of lame excuses, steal your employers money-get sacked/prosecuted/pay it back sort of thing!


  39. 129
    Weak willed liberal says:


    Christ, it’s like the 1950s!


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