August 3rd, 2011

Apparently They’re All Sexy MPs

Belligerent old socialist Paul Flynn has come out with a corker with his updated Westminster survival guide:

“For reasons that are inexplicable, MPs – even the most superficial, unattractive, mis-shapen ones – are attractive to the other sex. It does present serious problems of going astray. There is a magnetism to this.”

The 76 year old advice for avoiding unwanted chemical attractions ranges from taking regular cold baths, thinking about death and “recognising the transitory nature of sexual relations”. Guido would have thought a big grey beard would be enough to solve any problems, but then that never stopped old Mike Hancock…


49 Comments

  1. 1
    Simon Harley says:

    In like Flynn?

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Fuck off Guido!

    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”

    Some will say you aint a oil painting but Mrs Fawkes loves you for you.

  3. 3
    The Hon. Amanda X-X MP (Lab, Doleton East & Tory-Gulag West) says:

    Yep, still as nutty as the proverbial.

  4. 4
    Stiff upper lip says:

    Is that viagra on expenses?

  5. 5
    It's mine, all mine. says:

  6. 6
    Peter Mandelson says:

    I thought Labour only thought about young “men”, we don’t care about the opposite sex. I’m off to Hampstead Heath, anyone else coming?

  7. 7
    Scandal waiting to happen says:

    And in other news; Paul Flynn has been caught cheating on his long term wife with a suspected prostitute. He claims she is a mistress as he follows Hugh Hefner’s affair model by giving her an exorbitant allowance once per week…

  8. 8
    Sophie says:

    And in other news, rusty Dave Cameron has just spent another £5 million today on his vanity war in Libya.

    Burning our money.

    Blue Labour out.

  9. 9
    Titford Hat says:

    Dunno about cold baths, but a cold shower causes a, hmm, bodily reaction in my case.

    No, no, ladies, form an orderly queue!

  10. 10
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Speaking of big grey beards, what’s Gordon’s one up to these days?

  11. 11
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Parliament should not be about looks but about policy, We are getting screwed left,right and centre by politicons/media/police, come on Guido, so many Hunts to nail????

    O/T

    Any tory Mps reading this?

    Cut spending and taxes and put the country before your own intrests!

  12. 12
    Sophie says:

    What is it like living with the most reviled fiscal lunatic ever Sarah?

    How do sleep with him knowing he has bought poverty & unhappiness to millions & millions of yet born British taxpayers?

    As a women, you disgust me.

  13. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “I never hugged him, I bombed him!”

    Baroness Thatcher on Mad Dog Gaddaffi

  14. 14
    rocknrolla says:

    Et voila, the exception that proves the rule perhaps? Or perhaps the theory just isn’t right. Whatever it is, I cannot imagine old Gorgon McRuin holding any kind of appeal, sexual or otherwise for woman, vegetable or mineral; the man is just a black-hole of attraction, charm or warmth.

  15. 15
    Dark Lord says:

    Where do I sign? I want to be a MP!!!!!

  16. 16
    Johnny says says:

    Does it apply equally to men and women or is it really just and excuse for male MPs shagging around?

  17. 17
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Then again if they are screwing eachother it give us a break from them screwing us.

  18. 18
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Fucking a pig is fucking a pig which ever way you look at it…

  19. 19
    The Stilton Eater says:

    Dirty old man.

    I bet he wears a beige raincoat with some Werther’s Originals in the pockets in case he spots a “target”.

  20. 20
    smoggie says:

    Does she sleep with him? In fact, does she even sleep under the same roof?

  21. 21
    Chris Bryant says:

    This is why I advertise on massagespace

  22. 22
    Jess The Dog says:

    MPs and other politicians need to walk around in sackcloth and ashes once a month, flagellating themselves with wet fish, for our general amusement and also to remind themselves that they are also mere mortals. They should also follow ancient traditions at Christmas and have 650 or so plebs living it up in the House of Commons and serve them with food and drinks. Same for the House of Lords. I’d suggest a Court Jester or Fool as well, but the current Speaker seems to do the job adequately.

  23. 23
    En Maskert Figur says:

    MY anniversary. Very revealing. IMHO. *takes his psychologist hat off*

  24. 24
    Go Now! says:


    This morning BNET, the business news website of the American network CBS, comes up with a potential solution to CNN’s “looming Piers Morgan problem” as they describe it: they should hire MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow instead.

    Rachel, says writer Jim Edwards, “consistently beats Morgan’s evening show in the ratings, and that’s the perfect excuse to put Morgan on hiatus — perhaps for a long-form documentary in a faraway land? — or replace him altogether before Her Majesty’s finest invite Morgan to tea and biscuits at Scotland Yard.”

    http://www.thedrum.co.uk/news/2011/08/03/24427-cnn-should-replace-piers-with-rachel-says-cbs-pundit-as-brit-pips-her-in-ratings/

  25. 25
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Does she mean when her contract was signed or when the sham marriage took place?

  26. 26
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Gay men do sometimes have loving stable relationships with the opposite sex, but I doubt if this is the case with Jock McMincer, the bogus ex prime minister.

  27. 27
    Handycock says:

    The name is Cock – Handycock!

  28. 28
    Spot the Dog says:

    yop

  29. 29
    Spot the Dog says:

    yop^2

  30. 30
    Dack Blog says:

    No, I think ya’re deluded.

  31. 31
    sg-strummer says:

    Nothing wrong with grey(ing) beards either.

  32. 32
    S L A G S says:

    That Harriet corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    and that brazen hussy Tessaaaaaaaaaaa
    with that ginger tart Hazelllllllllllllllllll

    Yep.
    Definitely sexpots.

  33. 33
    It won't stand up in court says:

    Only for members.

  34. 34
    wtf says:

    You can write?
    Don’t bother to even apply to be an MP …… you’ve already shown you’re too intelligent.

  35. 35
    Judge Judy & Executioner says:

    Dettol and wire brush on standby…

  36. 36

    Attractive to the opposite sex? Lib Dums MPs??

  37. 37
    Paleo says:

    Just ask my ladies about large grey beards

  38. 38
    anon says:

    this is typical of these mundane c-u-n-t-s

    they see themselves as paragons of virtue

    their respective constituents are broken into two distinct groups
    1. those that are loyal, fully support their MP agree their every move
    2. those that question every detail of an MPs action, who don’t take their word as gospel and in communication are deemed as abusive – because they disagree – these are the worst sort of constituent and ones you ban whenever you can

    MPs are fucking SCUM

    sexy my arse

  39. 39
    Tapestry says:

    The answer is …………….fluoride.

    Sperm count decimated. Libido eliminated. Mind numbed.

    Fluoride is a must for all our MPs.

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    I think you mean Bromide.

  41. 41
    anonymouse in the Portcullis House skirting board says:

    Flynn’s nickname in Parliament is ewok!

  42. 42
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Paul Flynn is my friend, that is why he has made this statement. He knows I am about to be exposed on Sept 7 and he is trying to defuse the situation. Thanks Paul. Boaz.

  43. 43
    The name is Cock, Handycock says:

    Whey hey Paul!

    http://www.po12bg.com/id93.html

  44. 44
    DAVE pants on fire CAMERON says:

    Absolute bollocks !
    Most mp’s are attracted to the same sex or animals or even a jar of worms !

  45. 45
    GrumpyOldViking says:

    Hey I have a sexy big grey beard Guido Fawkes! You’re in deep trouble now, pal.

    Hope your next shit’s a hedgehog!

  46. 46
    Tapestry says:

    Not so anonymous. Bromide is not half as powerful as fluoride as a sperm killer. Click the link. Fluoride as medication is a deception.

  47. 47
    hang 'em high says:

    Nah! I put it down to all those unused female contraceptive pills being chucked out over the past 50 years of so, dissolving and finding their way into the main water supply. That;s why we have so many wimps and poofs these days

  48. 48
    Ginger Spice says:

    Oi. You leave Hazel out of this. I bet she goes like a Suzuki. AND if you made her feel guilty afterwards, she’ll write you a cheque for 10 grand.

  49. 49
    Socialism is a mental illness says:

    Some women are beyond comprehension. What made that stupid girl marry that Iraqi illegal scum that ran down that girl and left her to die under his wheels? Everywhere i see white girls in tow with asians, mid-easterns and, i will say it,coons. Spades if you prefer, some say niggers. They are not all bad of course, but the mentality of these girls is suspect.


Seen Elsewhere

Javid: Let Tories Campaign For Out Vote | House
Ministry of Justice Loses Death Inquiry Data “In the Post” | TechnoGuido
Europe’s Crisis is Cameron’s Opportunity | Speccie
Sajid Javid is the Ultimate Thatcherite | Buzzfeed
Ed Argar Selected in Dorrell Seat | Leicester Mercury
88% of New Labour MPs Are Union Bods | Mark Wallace
Massively Popular Porn Site is Infecting Users | Techno Guido
Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
Introducing the New CapX | CapX
Burnham’s Newsnight Debacle Dissected | Dan Hodges
How I Survived Dry January | Nigel Farage


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers