July 29th, 2011

Labour Wants Coulson Cake But Ate It

The Mirror and Political Scrapbook, with more than a little help from the Labour Party press office, have gone big on the story that CCHQ did background checks on people they put on posters as part of the election campaign. Seems pretty sensible to Guido, who would have pointed and laughed if one of them turned out to be a blunder…

The Tories claim using the company Control Risks was perfectly sensible and they use them to check out their staff. The checks were done with the full consent of those involved. There is growing speculation that they were the company alluded to by Dave in reference to who checked out Coulson in 2007. Talking of which, what were Labour cheerleaders saying just the other day about vetting? 

The Guardian and Alistair Campbell were particularly succinct in their cries of foul play. So lets get this straight, you’re not allowed to vet people, but then get slammed when you don’t? Imagine the Mirror front page if the poster boy or girl had a dodgy past. There is more to this story to come. Guido gave the the Labour Party a clear chance to deny they never did a background check on anyone they have used to front a campaign. Their silence is very telling…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Listening to camball on anything is hypocrcy.

  2. 2
    Dave says:

    would HAVE! not would of.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Grammar, grammar!

    ‘who would of pointed’ should be ‘who would have pointed’
    ‘your not allowed’ should be ‘you’re not allowed’

    I don’t like to be too anal on these things (well ok, maybe I do), but that’s basic grammar Guido!

  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Do we really want people that are sqeauky clean?

    If then we rule out proberly 90% of the country.

    Phone hacking v dodgy dossier

    coulson v camball

  5. 5
    Dani says:


    Can you out these two labor front benchers who dined with this journalist and still want Rupert and the corruption to continue. The post has had over 800 hits so there must be interest. Many thanks Guido xx

  6. 6
    Consenting Adults says:

    The Tories claim the checks were legally done by a “reputable” firm and “with the full ­knowledge and consent of the person involved”


    Can’t say fairer than that then. I hope they also obtained a signed consent.

  7. 7
    T Boy says:

    He can’t get the staff these days. Bring back Miss Nomates.

  8. 8
    Phantom says:

    If you DV vet & clear someone, they have unsupervised access to very sensitive secret documents and supervised access to the some really secret stuff. To vet for DV clearance they have a good ol’ trawl through your FAMILY background, connections with immediate friends, spouses/SOs and work background (location and their corporate background) as well as where you choose to go on holiday.

    They do not trawl for evidence (that still doesn’t exist) whether you condoning phone hacking.

    Keeping Coulson’s clearance at a lower level means that he couldn’t see the super-sensitive stuff and neither would they do all the vetting for DV. They would still vet if they were trustworthy enough with some relatively secret stuff.

    So not clearing him to DV or above might well have been the right decision.

    It is completely spurious of the Guardian and Mirror but then they are journalists who wouldn’t know what the Official Secrets Act looks like if it was dressed like James Bond drinking Vodka Martini.

  9. 9
    Henry Higgins (Prof) says:

    I concur!

  10. 10
    Piers is happy Now says:

  11. 11
    Anonymus says:

    Call it “Hit and run piss taking”. its the level of debate for just about anything these days.

    The bread and butter of tabloid journalism. And wankers playing politics.

  12. 12
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Can i just clarify that at the time of Andy Coulsons appointment he had not been charged/convicted of any crime?

  13. 13
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Your time is coming Piers…..

  14. 14
    it's gordons fault says:

    campbell is working hard to recreate history, and protect his masters voice

    piers moron needs a good dose of humiliation, sacking from his TV show for being the useless twat he is, then prisoned for being the scumbag he always was

    talk about pigs feeding in the gutter

  15. 15
    Quango says:


    I often disagree with you, but have found your blog honest in the past.

    Following your pathetic NASA post this morning, I realise you are a hypocrite and a charlatan.

    You now lose a reader, goodbye liar.

  16. 16
    HandsomeDavid says:

    And please do not come back!

  17. 17
    Where's Balls? says:

    Sky reporting that America’s (Obama’s) economy is in a far worse state than the UK’s. Todays’ GDP figures indicate that it may be going back into recession.

    Would Ed Balls care to make a statement?

  18. 18
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    I thought he took great pleasure in publicly blocking her the other day?

    Piers – have you gone back on something you said previously? Surely not.

  19. 19
    Deleted says:

    Looks like the tea boy has taken his revenge and deleted the post. No sense of humour that one.

  20. 20
    Ed Balls says:

    So what?

    But thanks for asking me on the programme BBC. I’ll just use these few minutes to spout utter unrelated bollocks and lies if you don’t mind. You don’t? Great …

  21. 21
    Unemployed Teaching Assistant says:

    They must be very confident that the PM’s skeleton infested cupboard is more rancid than Brown’s. People still associate Labour with Brown, since Jedward Millimuppet has made as much impact as a foam pie delivered by an overweight dickhead.

    MMmm, it is a big stakes game for some and they need to be sure they have backed the right horse. My money is on more people hating Brown, having been insulted, damaged, robbed or betrayed by him than there are hating Cameron (whose major strength is that he is not quite as fucking wet as Jedward Millimember).

  22. 22
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Even tho i am dead against the death pen, if i could nominate one person to try it , Then alistair campbell will be that person.

    Before or after his trail is niether here nor there.

    Saddam style or OBL stlye?

  23. 23
    CmdKeen says:

    Labour seemed to spend their entire time in Government doing background checks on whoever the Conservatives used to front campaigns – hence lots of “outings” of people who complain to their MPs…

    Presumably none of those people consented to being checked by Labour or their tame blog puppets

  24. 24
    Enjoy your completely unnecessary green-taxes says:

    Yeah, go and play with your windmills.

  25. 25
    what a plonker says:

    I see Tom Watson has just crawled out from under a stone and spouting his crap.

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Have a good trip back to Nigeria

  27. 27
    Damien McBride says:

    I’m a man of honesty and decency!

    Now, whose wife shall I smear today? Charlie Whelan told me to pick a name at random and say she’s a whore with 7 abortions and 5 miscarriages behind her.ndom and say she’s a whore with 7 abortions and 5 miscarriages behind her.

  28. 28
    Piers isn't the brightest button in the box. says:

    No. She has apologised to the committee and Piers for mis-quoting from his book. Piers thinks she is apologising over making phone hacking Claims about him. I’m sure the penny will drop sometime soon that there is a difference and he will withdraw his gracious acceptance.

  29. 29
    HandsomeDavid says:

    Oh no, the emails are going to start up again.

  30. 30
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Shame no-one done a background check on David Cameron to make sure he was a conservitive!

  31. 31
    I remember you, you ponce says:

    You’re that snivelling little cnut who used to take his ball home because you didn’t get a free kick when you got tackled, aren’t you.

  32. 32
    scum to a man... says:

    labour …just filth…just filth

  33. 33
    Jonathan Djanogly MP says:

    I’m with Guido on this. Perfectly sensible precaution to take in my view. I’ve nothing against the public but you just can’t afford to turn your back on them.

  34. 34
    I think I would...but theres going to be a queue... says:

    and the mensch apologises ?

  35. 35
    Engineer says:

    It is pretty unlikely that government communications would cover the sort of stuff you’re talking about. By the very nature of that material, it wouldn’t be publicised, so Coulson and his staff would never see it. Therefore the need to security clear Coulson would (I guess) not be as high as some MOD personnel, for example.

    Background checks on someone’s CV to ensure that they weren’t telling fibs, and confirmation that they didn’t have a criminal conviction, for example, would be a different matter.

  36. 36
    Orwell that ends well says:

    What’s the latest on Jo Hari?

  37. 37
    misterned says:

    Quango, take the full refund and fuck off! I doubt that you’ll be missed.

    Who the fuck was that anyway?

  38. 38
    Snap-on Tools says:

    Snub-nose piers? Fixed-joint piers? Needle-nose piers? Diagonal piers? Crimping piers?

  39. 39
    Jolie Rouge says:


    Obama states

    “‘we could lose our country’s tripe-A credit rating not because we did not have enough money to pay our bills but because we did not have a political system to match our triple-A credit rating.”

    What a crock of shite. If you have enough money, pay your fucking bills you left wing steak of piss.

  40. 40
    Eddie Miller Band says:

    Comrades! Following the successful removal of my adenoids, my lisp has gone! Now I just have to find some policies!

    Er…um…uh…I may be a while.

  41. 41
    Labour List says:

    In praise of Louise Mensch MP


    Labour List praising a Tory MP. Who would have thunk it? :roll:

  42. 42
    A poofter says:

    Morgan had better watch his step methinks, Bryant will tear him a new arsehole over this hacking stuff

  43. 43
    i like gold says:

    i like gold

  44. 44
    Mark Oaten says:

    Steak of piss? Yum!

  45. 45
    Gordon Brown says:

    Dear Senator Palpatine

    I regret I cannot address the Galactic Council because Sarah says I have to clear up the mess I made in the playroom, though it wasn’t me it was Nursie who tells LIES about me. Plz give my regards to Queen Amidala.

    Yours truly

    G Brown (MP!)

  46. 46
    Johnny Prescott and the Butter Chickens says:

    Hey, lad! She gives us Labour fellas the horn!

  47. 47
    It was all Guido's fault says:

    Obviously Guido will be covering this extensively.

  48. 48
    Arsehole says:

    If there are any of our American cousins looking in on this blog for the first time, as of course Spaz Hilton and Pairs Morgan have linked to it……….

    Fuck off and die yank Hunts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  49. 49
    Rat's arse says:

    How much is it these days to take a contract out on the likes of Whimpy Watson? I’m sure folk will put their hands in their pockets to rid the world of this ………..!!! Please will some-one fill in the blanks, as I’ve got steam coming out of my ears!

  50. 50
    Jimmy says:

    Very gracious, I’m sure we can all agree. What an absolute gentleman. If only some of our politicians could conduct themselves with such dignity.

  51. 51
    Jar Jar Binks says:

    Mesa name Jar Jar! Mesa say you wanker!

  52. 52
    Clarence says:

    Downing Street’s vetting process must be severely lacking if a violent alcoholic can slip through the net and become Director of Communications, dont’cha think, Alastair?

  53. 53
    Gordon Brown says:

    Too late. I sold our reserves to Poundland. Wibble.

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    He has a type of poetic license in the grammar area. Apart from that he is “oirish”.

  55. 55
    The Right Honourable Gordon Brown MP says:

    Today I shall be mainly reliving my glory days in No10, and then leaving vile messages on Christine Lagarde’s Binatone answering machine.

  56. 56
    Engineer says:

    There seems to be a pattern emerging to Opposition strategy. Don’t bother with politics, just smear the government, either directly or by association with anybody who might have done something dubious.

    High risk strategy, slinging mud. It can go in all directions. Some people are not that impressed by mud-slingers, either.

  57. 57
    Blinky says:

    By the power of Grayskull, I have the glower.

  58. 58
    Engineer says:

    Charming. Have McDonalds served you a dodgy burger, or something?

  59. 59
    gone missing.... says:

    he was on the island…

  60. 60
    Mike Handycock says:

    Who’d like to vet me? Wahey! Gimme a chance, princess.

  61. 61
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    they have form on this.

    Anyway beats filling in that blank sheet of paper.

  62. 62
    Gordon Brown says:

    If I was a Pirate, Patti Boulaye would be in charge of my treasure

  63. 63
    Nigel S says:

    Posting from the U of East Angular by any chance? Your fox has been shot with both barrels by NASA. You’ll need something better than getting into a bait here; a bit of science perhaps?

  64. 64
    Engineer says:

    Nothing to do with political systems. If you spend more than you take in tax year after year, sooner or later you’ll have a problem.

    Cut spending, Obama. Or rack up taxes. Or both. Not that difficult to comprehend, surely?

  65. 65
    Jimmy says:

    Tried to put up her apology letter and got modded. Seems to be a sore point.

  66. 66
    Sir Minge Campbells says:

    I had a fresh anus in many ways ‘torn’ for me once, I was most impressed to say the least.

  67. 67
    Tom Baldwin's Liebour Ajax supplier says:

    The same daily Mirror just got done for contempt of court!

    Bye Bye Maguire!

  68. 68
    Shit Sticks says:


    That is why David Jones’ muck raking on Louise Mensch’s past life failed. He (and the gutter press) came across as the villain and she the heroine.

  69. 69
    A Mirror editor says:

    Fuck me Gordon they were disgusting messages, nice one

  70. 70
    Archbishop Runcie's ghost says:

    I concur Fuck off yank trash

  71. 71
    Nigel Kennedy says:

    “I am a socialist myself but do remember having some great times with my beautiful and very clever right-wing friend when she was at EMI.

    “Louise is pretty scary and I would warn anyone that it’s not a good idea to mess with her.”


  72. 72
    Ah! Monika says:

    No point in giving all these thumbs-down, he’ll never know!

  73. 73
    The Dirty Rat says:

    And this is the man who made Gordon cry.

  74. 74
    Hugga says:

    just a thought, does Obama know how credit card works?

    someone, somewhere has to pay back borrowed money

    compound interest is the only lesson worth learning

  75. 75
    Pissed Off says:

    The Labpur Party are total c unts. In their time in government they filled the country with immigrants and now they bang on about controlling immigration. They encouraged benefit dependency at every level and now the claim they want to reform the benefit system. How could anybody vote for these total twats?

  76. 76
    South of the M4 says:

    It is management by headline. Typically Brown. Publicise an unsubstantiated ‘ fact ‘ relentlessly for a period. By the time it is refuted most of the electorate only remember the ‘ fact ‘ and have already accepted it as the truth. They have been doing this since 2007. Would not work without the BBC.

  77. 77
    Ah! Monika says:

    And Whilst we’re at it:-

    It’s petitS pois
    and petitS fours
    potato ( no e )
    tomato( no e )
    and no finbananas

  78. 78
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Nigel Kennedy is on the fiddle.

  79. 79
    Anonymus says:

    The scientific paper was not from NASA, and far from conclusive.

  80. 80
    ha ha ha says:

    BBC – Apple holding more cash than USA

    Latest figures from the US Treasury Department show that the country has an operating cash balance of $73.7bn (£45.3bn).

    Apple’s most recent financial results put its reserves at $76.4bn (£46.9bn).

    Do you still think socialism works?

  81. 81
    The Dirty Rat says:

    I had a wte dream about E.N. the other day and it was very nice.

  82. 82
    Any BBC Presenter says:

    Off you go Ed and I promise not to interrupt or to challenge any of the highly dubious claims you make.

  83. 83
    Baron Kinnock and Missus says:

    That’s chickenfeed boyo. We might consider lending them a few quid if they’re really stuck.

  84. 84
    An extremely bored British Public says:

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that all socialists are hypocrits……and if we hear anymore about bloody phone hacking we shall be forced to start throwing Nokias at the nearest Labour politician…….

  85. 85
    Ah! Monika says:

    And as for the missing / rogue apostrophe………………..

  86. 86
    Anonymus says:

    He is not being allowed to increase taxes.

    By a political system that lets him spend more, but then elsewhere in the democratic system they block tax rises.

  87. 87
    Ah! Monika says:

    And the use of nouns instead of adverbs…………

  88. 88
    Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

    Phone hacking is the story of the decade. It is our duty constantly to place it before our licence fee payers.

  89. 89
    Ah! Monika says:

    And when did you last see a kid running because he / she was late for school?

  90. 90
    Ah! Monika says:

    Dead against….no pun intended?

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Not to mention the abuse of ellipsis…

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    Licence – license is a verb

  93. 93
    Baby Doll says:

    When I did my training with the RSPCA we were told to always smash the windscreen rather than a side window. That way the owner of the car can claim off the insurance, a new screen can also be fitted in hours and we were less likely to be sued in the case of a mistake.

    Obviously this is not part of plod training.

    Bungling Police smash their way into car to rescue baby on a hot day… only to discover a DOLL


  94. 94
    Ah! Monika says:

    BTW Billy, Pierrepoint’s assistant ‘came out’ in 1968. Then there was just him and Quentin Crisp, whom I met in the West End round about the same time.

  95. 95
    Postal Vote says:

    Labour mouth-piece Gaurdian carrying this and no doubt Labour-mouth-piece Beeb will do was well tonight.

    Labour sent all public sector paper-based job adverts to Guardian in return for favourable comments.
    Beeb sends 85% of paper-based job adverts to Guardian in return for comment in favour of generous license fee and regulating pay tv etc.

    Mirror supports Labour.
    Guardian supports Mirror through supporting Morgan.

    Come on world, at least stop looking bbc, it’s far frmo a beacon of high-qulaity unbiased reporting. Guardian, well who outside UK reads that?

  96. 96
    Ah! Monika says:

    Please God let Guido get something on Fatson.

  97. 97
    Cryptozoologist says:

    Piers Morgan is suspiciously like Father Dougal’s description of the Beast of Craggy Island…

    – It has claws as big as cups
    – It has four ears, two for listening and two “are sort of back-up ears”. Some might be on the inside of its head
    – It has a retractable leg so it “can leap up at you better”
    – It has magnets on its tail, so “if you’re made out of metal, it can attach itself to you”
    – It lights up at night
    – It has a tremendous fear of stamps
    – Its yawn sounds like Liam Neeson chasing a load of hens around inside a barrel
    – It has no mouth, but instead has four arses

  98. 98
    I don't need no doctor. says:

    Labour and the BBC are full of shit.
    Tom Watson MP must have been taking lessons in feigning sincerity from Yvette Cooper. Not sure which one is the most insincere.
    What’s the betting the loathsome Balls is loading Watson’s bullets.
    Harman makes me puke. She is a vile scrounger.

  99. 99
    Dolly Daydreams says:

    What’s wrong with rescuing dolls? We get hot just like you do.

  100. 100
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:


    Ever feel like you’ve been conned?


  101. 101
  102. 102
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Fuck off you tedious fat wanker.

  103. 103
    tory bear's worst nightmare says:

    Oh dear-must be Friday-either the organ grinder is having an off day-falling into the double negative trap-or the monkey has been allowed to write an article-either way it is appalling writing-don’t you have a proof reader?

  104. 104
    Alistair Campbell, All Round Arsehole says:

    Say that again and I’ll smash yer fuckin’ face in. Hic…..

  105. 105
    Stan Stedd says:

    Don’t use blanks – use dum-dums

  106. 106
    Lee Harvey Oswald says:

    You’re next, you freckled, sponging, talentless wanker.

  107. 107
    Mike Hunt says:

    Er, make that since about 1994.

  108. 108
    Oh bother... says:

    It’s a bit unfortunate really – they celebrate electing the first black president in history and a couple of years later the USA plummets to its fiscal death…

  109. 109
    Dani says:


    Guido, I ask you now to pay attention to David Jones who has decided to threaten Louise Mensch…I ask that you pay particular attention to the day Hackgate day 120….

  110. 110
    Ah! Monika says:

    They’re very cheap…

  111. 111
    Jimmy says:

    I don’t recall her making any other phone hacking claim against him. Did she?

  112. 112
    Anon says:

    If your idea of an absolute gentleman is a newspaper editor who publishes faked photographs you must be devoid of morality.

  113. 113
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Did they check on Bliar?? And what about Alistur Crumble was he treble checked?

  114. 114
    Dream Ticket says:

    Boris and Louise. Torys in power for 50 years

  115. 115
    Dream Ticket says:

    And Tories in even longer

  116. 116
    Anon says:

    Tony Blair gave him a ‘second chance’ ….

  117. 117
    Anon says:

    Yes, the BBC are an absolute disgrace, broadcasting every unsubstantiated allegation every day as if they were fact, just because the Guardian prints it. And because they think no-one can hold them to account.

  118. 118
    Rog says:

    WTF the mighty BBC and its online juggernaut is unable to run its own job site is beyond me.

    Unless they just want to shovel tellytaxpayers’ money at their Grauniad idols.

  119. 119
    Jimmy says:

    I never suggested he was faultless. On this occasion he was too trusting. It’s a fault shared by many of us on the good side.

  120. 120
    Jimmy says:

    I think we all, in a sense, made Gordon cry. I just hope one day he can forgive us.

  121. 121
    joescotus says:

    arnt you classed as a total weapons grade wanker if you admit to reading the grun

  122. 122
    joescotus says:

    stone cold i hope

  123. 123
    joescotus says:

    he interviewing gary glitter on tactics required for a comeback!

  124. 124
    joescotus says:

    great idea! on calm days stick this greedy corrupt welsh windbag on a turbine at lands end facing north …….result.

  125. 125
    Phantom says:

    Government clearances are the same regardless of department including the Cabinet Office.

    CV vetting happened once the job was awarded along with checking references. It is nowhere near as thorough as signing up to the OSA.

  126. 126
    Winnie in a wheelchair watching the Olympics says:

    Labour hypocrisy is shameless. When is Ed going to sack the extremely dodgy Badwin?

  127. 127
    Nick Leeson says:

    Moron was certainly trusting of the person who tipped him about those Viglen shares.

  128. 128
    Jimmy says:

    Hardly surprising that he would want to invest in an enterprise led by Lord Sugar. Another fine individual. So sad to see the politics of envy so clearly at work here.

  129. 129
    Jimmy says:

    “I often disagree with you, but have found your blog honest in the past.”

    When did that happen? I’m not saying it couldn’t have happened but I’m sure someone would have mentioned it. Do you have a link?

  130. 130
    Know what? says:

    Q. was Right on – that NASA stuff was pure B@@l@ks – I’m not goin though – too much fun here – like shooting at lame ducks with a 12 bore – just 2 easy 2 shoot G. down every day.

  131. 131
    Director FSB, Moscow says:

    We have been vetting you for years Handycock and hacking your phone, taking compromising photographs etc etc. So get us those submarine movements and stop worrying about losing Katya; we have already found you another Intern, she should be ready in a few months time when she will be 16.

  132. 132
    stun says:

    Comment of the Day

  133. 133
    Man on grassy knoll says:

    Not if I get there first

  134. 134
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Plese feel free to claim you full refund and fuck off

  135. 135
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    No, I never had a ball

  136. 136
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    hey, fuck off, that is my line

  137. 137
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    i agreed antirely

  138. 138
    I like Huhning in my car says:

    You VAT bas’tard.

  139. 139
    Real man in the street says:

    If you check the BBC iPlayer website terms and conditions – it is stated that you only need a licence if the program is watched at or about the same time it is broadcast.
    So the UK price is zilch (assuming you don’t already have licence).

  140. 140
    ISO 9000 says:

    I read your post . it was amazing.Your thought process is wonderful.The way you tell about things is awesome. They are inspiring and helpful.Thanks for sharing your information and stories.

    iso 9000

  141. 141
    Silas Marner says:

    Cameron has now been compromised to such an extant as to make the Tory Party unelectable if he should remain in office.

  142. 142
    Councillor Mike Handycock CBE MP says:

    You are obviously talking about Portsmouth City Council.

  143. 143
    Steve P says:

    I’m sure he has committed this terrible solecism previously!

  144. 144
    Will says:

    I think the point, which you either haven’t grasped or are refusing to graspe, is that the Tories went to the trouble of running background checks on the people who put up their posters, but seemingly couldn’t be arsed to give Coulson to top level of vetting, despite the vital importance of his position

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood

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