July 28th, 2011

Mini-Reshuffle Runners and Riders

As reported yesterday, Downing Street have signed off the plans for a mini-shuffle should the CPS press the big-red Huhne button. All talk of the one time leader in waiting being able to cling on, despite a charge, has withered away, even amongst his most loyal Praetorians online. As Guido told you back in May, the two LibDem front-runners for the Energy and Climate Change brief are Ed Davey and Jeremey Browne:

“Both are Orange Bookers, though Browne is seen as more right-wing which will likely dent his chances for the soppy climate change brief. Obviously Laws is toxic and Guido understands that Sarah Teather has little chance of a promotion.”

Huhne has managed to convince everyone he’s a bit left-wing, which makes Davey seem a likelier option. Though given he held the LibDems Foreign affairs brief before the election, it would make sense to pop him in the Foreign Office and promote the telegenic Browne to the Cabinet.

After she lost control of her backbenchers, leaving the Prime Minister floundering at the height of the phone hacking crisis, the speculation that Warsi is for the chop is growing. Grant Shapps is much tipped to replace her as Tory chairman. Newsnight’s permanent fixture Michael Fallon wouldn’t be too happy though. The current Deputy Chairman has been pressing the flesh recently…

Guido reckons two birds could be killed with one stone here. Shapps, the uber-loyal Cameroon Housing Minister could go and beef up the CCHQ operation, Warsi could stay out of trouble sticking little windmills on a map in Huhne’s old job, and a LibDem could replace Shapps. However it is unlikely that the yellows would be willing to swap a Cabinet job for a mere Minister. Though given the fact that Huhne walking would be their third Cabinet cock-up in a row, perhaps Dave should put his foot down.


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    No laws i hope.

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    “it would make sense to pop him in the Foreign Office and promote the telegenic Brown to the Cabinet.”

    Missing a e on the end of Browne

  3. 3
    Handycock says:

    Can I have a job please Dave?

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    maybe they could get Andrew Strauss in, even if only temporary, he seems willing to sell his soul and play for anyone

    it won’t matter who comes and goes, the treadmill will remain …..

  5. 5
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    “perhaps Dave should put his foot down.”

    Windmills Hunne did that and look where it’s got him.

  6. 6
    Ed P says:

    At least it will stop Huhne/Hoon tilting at windmills.

  7. 7
    John of Gaunt says:

    England, bound in with the triumphant sea
    Whose rocky shore beats back the envious siege
    Of watery Neptune, is now bound in with shame,
    With inky blots and rotten parchment bonds:
    That England, that was wont to conquer others,
    Hath made a shameful conquest of itself.
    Ah, would the scandal vanish with my life,
    How happy then were my ensuing death!

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Quido, what will Hune’s pension be ?

  9. 9
    BillyBob.... says:

    Bless ‘em, they are just not up to the job !

  10. 10
    Gordon Brown says:

    After my bath last night I ‘m sure my daddy toe was telling me who to change in my reshuffle, but he stopped talking when they came to tuck me in.

  11. 11
    Fat Goth says:


  12. 12
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    What we definitely don’t need is another windmill loon to take over from Huhne.

    Warsi also needs to go – she has been completely ineffectual and I suspect she was only put in place to burnih Dave’s right- on nice guy image. Well it’s come back to bite him on the arse and I would hope we see someone more robust in her place.

    Having said that Cameron also needs to be more receptive to his own back bench and stopping being such a blancmange.

  13. 13
    HDQ says:

    JoG’s death was anything but happy.

  14. 14
    Aesop says:

    “stopping being such a blancmange”

    Leopard’s cannot change their spots.

  15. 15
    Wishing he had an edit button, Aesop says:

    “Leopards” FFS.

  16. 16
    Tax Payer says:

    One nob replaced by this nob or that nob.

  17. 17
    Fat Goth says:

    Totally awesome…

  18. 18
    Mornington Crescent says:

    What a tenth-rate shower of shit, the lot of ‘em. I mean, really – not one of them with any real achievements in life, no meaningful experience outside Zone 1 of the Tube, no personality whatsoever. Just eminently forgettable little narks trying to shimmer up the greasy pole.

    I despair for this country, I truly despair.

  19. 19
    BBC says:

    Minister reported to watchdog over use of detectives


    Better hound him G.

  20. 20
    The voice of unreason says:

    Finding an honest Lib-Dem seems to be a tough challenge!

  21. 21
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    They could always appoint Jonnan Hari as a minster, i hear he looking for a job and is experienced at bullshitting.

  22. 22
    School for scoundrels says:

    Chris Huhne- A Hoon by any other name…

  23. 23
    Sir William Waad says:

    Inspector Gregory: “Is there any other point to which you would wish to draw my attention?”
    Sherlock Holmes: “To the curious incident of the Baroness in the phone-hacking scandal.”
    Gregory: “The Barnoess did nothing in the phone-hacking scandal.”
    Holmes: “That was the curious incident.”

  24. 24
    Johann Hari says:

    I could rise to that, and any, challenge. I ask not what my country can do for me, but what I can do for my country.

  25. 25
    Rt Huhne Tom Whatson MP, Penguin PEN says:

    Gimme Huhne’s job…..

  26. 26
    M says:

    “Spitting image” puppets are available for work

  27. 27
    Johann Hari says:

    …and even as he spoke, it brought a lump to my throat.

  28. 28
    Alger Non says:

    I agree whole heartedly with this comment

  29. 29
    Ed Miliband says:

    Justine insisted that I have the nose job. She couldn’t stand my snoring any more.

    It was my adenoids that adenoid her.

  30. 30
    Bernie the Bolt says:

    if it wasn’t for the fact that i would be dead, i’d consider suicide, this country’s gone down the shitter

  31. 31
    NoMoreNasalVoice says:

    He still doesn’t ‘get it’, does he?

  32. 32
    Penfold says:

    Shuffle the Limp-Fibbers right of the Cabinet.
    3 resignations in a year is far too accident prone.
    Huhne’s expenses and the party’s accounting is also of cause for concern.

  33. 33
    Wait for it says:

    It’s not so much that the fat lady hasn’t sung yet, as that no one has approached her agent for preliminary soundings on whether she would be interested in the role in the first place. Papers to the CPS doesn’t mean decision to prosecute, and decision to prosecute doesn’t mean conviction.

  34. 34
    Postal Vote says:

    Salient point (oops!):

    Indeed, Huhne sat it out long enough to qualify for the meaty pension.

  35. 35
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    Anyone catch that clip of Boris at the olympics do yesterday?

    Was a bit of a barn stormer.

  36. 36
    Mr Angry says:

    just fuck off
    fuck right off you fucking useless fucker
    i never want to hear from you again
    fuck fuck off

  37. 37
    Penfold says:

    What about the Baroness in the expenses scandal.
    The Baroness who has made no restitution and refuses to do so.
    The Baroness who resides in social housing whilst being a home owner and rachmann.

  38. 38
    nell says:

    Oh Please! Let him reshuffle vince off somewhere where we don’t have to keep listening to his economic incompetency.

  39. 39
    Mr Angry says:

    i fucking hate the olympics
    i don’t want the olympics here
    i don’t want to pay fotthe olympics
    i dont want london to become the olympic state for months
    fuck right off

  40. 40
    Lee Grasper says:

    I think Chris Huhne looks like Boris Johnson who looks like Anders Behring Breivik.

    So they are all vile racists, unlike me.

  41. 41
    Dan E Quayle says:

    Missing a e on the end of Potato

  42. 42
    Big State 4 Good, Vote Labour says:

    Bloated public sector beer bellies signed off on a bloated olympics budget that will see the biggest gold medals ever at any olympics – you could not dream it up!

  43. 43
    Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

    “Leopards” FFS. cannot change their spots.

    Nope – doesn’t work.

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron is not strong enough to handle a reshuffle. Huhne hasn’t got anything to lose he will end up saying what was talked in the cabinet and he herd.

    Why do you think Huhne is still there!

  45. 45
    Loungelizard says:

    Hari has new job! just finished authentication of Hitler Dairies prior to submission to major publishing house.

  46. 46
    azure a pale or says:

    Excellent! John of Gaunt. However, I somehow think you’ll not get on BBC Radio4’s “Poetry Please” – they don’t like that sort of stuff in their multicultural, liberal – WTF, socialist – world.

  47. 47
    I bet he hangs around playgrounds says:

    Plus, we won’t see pictures of him wearing that stupid hat.

  48. 48
    Maximus says:

    Hold onto all your bits, Billy, because ‘the telegenic Browne’ wants a law to steal them from you. I can’t quite understand Guido’s thinking here — Browne got away with £17,894 for his mortgage. Ed Davey OTOH could (and arguably) did save a life.

    Perhaps Guido knows someone who is rather counter-suggestible, and is supporting Browne with the intent of seeing him languish for the sake of the Common Good in some hole.

  49. 49
    Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

    Replace country with wallet.

  50. 50
    azure a pale or says:

    Nuke the windmill.

  51. 51
    Proving that he's a fucking retard, Seb Coe says:

    The Olympics will be great for London, and won’t cost more than £2bn to host.

  52. 52
    I'm a Talented Woman Who Deserves a Consituency Without the Usual Abuse says:

    You certainly don’t look like that other labour sexpest, Prescott.

  53. 53
    Old dog no tricks says:

    Yup – they have come in on time and under budget !

    Forgetting to mention that the budget has quadrupled since the farce was first bought !

    Still its no wonder that the ‘organisers’ are smiling and congratulating themselves their bank accounts have most likely grown exponentially with the budget !

  54. 54
    Engineer says:

    Would candidates for the Huhne’s job be kind enough to note the following?

    1) British manufacturing is something your government is trying to promote. Vastly increasing the cost of energy won’t help the manufacturing sector much – it increases their costs and makes it harder to compete with overseas producers.

    2) We’ve built more than enough windmills to know that they’re a very expensive way of generating not much power, and that not necessarily when it’s wanted.

    3) The general public are getting a bit grumpy about being taxed to the eyeballs to pay to alleviate a problem that probably doesn’t really exist, or if it does exist, isn’t nearly so bad as the eco-loons try to make out.

    Would be much obliged if you could take those into account when shaping policy. Ta muchly.

  55. 55
    Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

    Slotgob MK II adenuff.

  56. 56
    Jules says:

    Can’t they put someone in the energy job who does a bit more than have lunches with the green lobby?

  57. 57
    Maximus says:

    What surprises me, Johann, about your career is your interviews with Miranda.

  58. 58
    Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

    You are Mr Hari and I claim my five pounds!

  59. 59
    Anon says:

    Did he pull-out an Uzi 9mm and shout, “right, which of you f*cking plebs said these games wouldn’t cost more than a couple of billion? Stand up, you f*ckers!”

  60. 60
    Anon says:

    I haven’t seen the word “sexpest” for years! It was derogatory back in the 80s, but sounds like a term of endearment today.

  61. 61
  62. 62
    David Cameron says:

    La la la la la la laaaa la laaa la la la I’m not listening.

  63. 63
    Lurch says:


    is she in the league of Parkingson, Tebbit, or is she there with Gummer and Patten –

    I suspect she is below Gummer – she as much use as a Dyson in hurricane

  64. 64
    Backwoodsman says:

    With the reported exception of Laws, the limp dims seem to be more work experience material, than ministers.
    Mind you, my last MP was a Director of a successful small business, a TA officer and dynamic. I think he might be an assistant under bag carrier now. My current MP is charming, without any discernable leadership qualities and he’s one of Camerons’ top men. So the Tories aren’t much better !

  65. 65
    Sir William Waad says:

    Scientists announced today the discovery of a previously-unsuspected dormant volcano in the leafy London suburb of Twickenham. Mount Cable, also known as Bald Mountain, once spewed out fountains of lava and threatened to engulf the local Banka tribe but has been quiescent for several milennia. Its feeble, sporadic splutters went unnoticed until recently, when local residents began to complain of a nasty smell of bad eggs.

    Professor Beaker of the South London Institute of Vulcanology said “We think Mount Cable is harmless, but further tests will be required to ensure that it is not about to erupt. A major Plinian event could send clouds of poisonous hot gases as far as Westminster”.

  66. 66
    Another Engineer says:

    They’d claim it was by Shakespeare rather than Edward de Vere, too.

  67. 67
    Another Engineer says:

    They would claim it was by Shakespe are instead of Edward de Vere, too.

  68. 68
    Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

    Won’t do any good – THEY want us dragged down to third world status, and we are almost there – THEY want us all in POVERTY (not that fucking PC word ‘austerity) – THEY want to tax us to death with unlimited carbon taxes, THEY want rolling blackouts – THEY are getting their way as we speak, the new gold is not gold – it is water, food, energy – THEIR energy (Rothschild in 1987 thought up the carbon tax scam, and yes, it all now goes through his bank in Switzerland), THEIR water (fluoride killing us, making us lethargic and passive), THEIR food (monsanto crap killing us, chemtrails sprayed all over the killing fields, killing us) – need I go on?

    This is a long term Fabian business plan, the NWO is openly here (Cameroon one of the worst, identicl to Bliar), and they are killing us, they have destroyed our manufacturing completely, destroyed our coal industry so we cannot have cheap coal-fired electricity stations, outsourced all our jobs to China, opened the floodgates to cheap labour, made us a service economy to support China, we are well and truly PHUCKED.

    You can guarantee that another Huhne doppelganger will be parachuted in to big up all the agendas above.

  69. 69
    misterned says:

    Missed the line about a Navy patrol boat being taken captive by Iranians and one of the hardy seamen crying because they took his iPod off him.

    Shows how far the military fell from grace under 13 years of labour’s destruction. Sadly the current lot are not able to remedy the situation because the last lot spent all the money ad a shit load more besides.

    Here’s an idea…. scrap the foreign aid, pull out of the EU and hire some quality, politically incorrect, real fighting soldiers!

  70. 70
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    nell you hypocrite you where all over Cable like a cheap coat before the election you just don’t like him now because he shows up your beloved David as the mug he is!

  71. 71
    Mornington Crescent says:

    I can well believe it. My point was, however, aimed at all of ‘em, regardless of party affiliation.

  72. 72
    misterned says:

    “I ask not what my country can do for me, but what I can do for my country.”

    That’s a great line there Hari, did you think of that all by yourself?

  73. 73
    Lord G says:

    Well they could never have imagined they would have any power so didn’t expect any scrutiny.

  74. 74
    The Piss Soaked Tramp Formally Known As TAT! says:

    Our German masters in the EU say nein.

    Our Chinese lenders say no as well.

  75. 75
    misterned says:

    And we the customers of the energy cartels are getting mightily pissed off at the constant double figure increases in the cost of energy because you have given them a statutory obligation to fund very expensive and less than useless “renewable energy” expansion.

  76. 76
    M says:

    Classic boris

  77. 77
    Fat Goth says:

    That is just so totally… awesome.

  78. 78
    A proper right winger! says:

    Can’t help feeling that Huhne will become a real liability once he’s finally resigned. The best scenario would be for him to arrested and charged, he’d lose his seat and be finished. I wish ill on no one but Huhne is a nasty bit of work and I feel he would make it his job project to undermine the coalition to satisfy his sense of grievence; even though he’s only got himself to blame for his downfall.

  79. 79
    Taxfodder says:

    Put his foot down….limp wrist more like, any proper Prime Minister would have booted that thieving trougher Spelman out months ago.

    Com’on Dave get off yer arse put some stick about FFS.

  80. 80
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    Why can’t it be a Tory?

    There is a disproportionate amount of socialist Lie Dumbs in the cabinet already. They only have 58 MPs, they got less of the vote than the previous election and fewer MPs suggesting the public do not want them in office. They also have proved not to have the personal qualities to hold public office as an MP, let alone high public office.

    Both these candidates are inadequate, no substance and follow the Lie Dumb trend of being useless in the extreme. A good look at their expenses ought to be the first check since 2002, CRB check and then competence. I say competence because it appears to date this is not a criterion to be a member of the cabinet.

    Are the Lie Dumbs going to have another cabinet minister on softie Ken Clark’s early release scheme- even though they do not put their hands up or plead guilty at the earliest opportunity as he claims a central theme for the scheme. All Politicians were allowed out early despite strong resistance to prosecution cost to the public purse, loss of confidence to the public, makers of law who break the law etc etc.

    Alexander today continues his quest to be top of the Lie Dumbs twat list. He forgets how MPs are resisting changes to their pensions but want to impose draconian schemes on everyone else. Will MPs sell their second homes and the money go back to the public purse or will they rent them out to bolster their pensions having bought and refurbished them on the back of the taxpayer.

    This is not a private versus public debate, it ought to be a public versus MP debate. They are creating another scam for their pensions at our expense. Germany and France have better public sector pensions than us. We blindly follow the EU on every other issue at the behest of the Lie Dumbs why not this?? Better still cut EU contribution, overseas aid and we could afford a lot of other things being spent in this country not least a proper defence for our security.

    FInally, farmers argue that the country can trace each of its 80,000,000 sheep why can’t the government trace immigrants? Apparently the same applies to cows. Damian Green, over to you for another pathetic answer please.

  81. 81
    The Cabinet Secretary says:

    The all hate him, Hague, even Clegg. The fucker is toast. If he’s outside the tent trying to piss in they’ll cut his dick off.

  82. 82
    Mmmmm says:

    Davey may have saved a life, but is there any evidence at all that he is actually capable in his present job?

    Sending Cable to clear up after Huhne does though have some comic potential, not least providing some support to the likes of the Tata steel workers he has been talking to by cutting back a lot of Huhne’s terrible legislation.

  83. 83
    Anus Boring Britvic says:

    Will this position be advertised?

  84. 84
    Scary Biscuits says:

    Putting Warsi in charge of windmills is hardly wise. Over the next few years electricity bills are set to rise steeply, not due to oil prices but because of Green nonsense like carbon trading. When the penny drops with electors that the rise isn’t due to evil power companies, they’ll be an almighty sh*t storm that will make Dave’s troubles with NI look like a walk in the park.

  85. 85
    Anders Behring Breivik says:

    Now that’s what I’m talking about!

  86. 86
    David Cameroon says:

    Yes the Lollipop man outside the Houses of Parliament is in need of replacement, unfortunately you need to pass the CRB check for the job, as children are involved. If you pass the CRB check, the job is yours Handy.

  87. 87
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Let’s have some more Huhney Tunes please Guido!

  88. 88
    tory bear's worst nightmare says:

    It is Norman Lamb that is lined up for reshuffle.
    Guido never lets facts get in the way of a good blub

  89. 89
    Geoffrey G Brooking says:

    Daily Mail reported Norman the Lamb was being lined up weeks ago.

    I don’t think many on his own side believe Huhney Tunes is still in post.

  90. 90
    Reds Under the Bed says:

    We don’t need another Liberal as Energy Secretary.

    Appoint a Liberal and you’ll get a Climate Change Secretary.

    We need a pragmatic Tory with an engineering background to cut through all this useless blather about wind farms, and to put a stop to the RUINOUS stealth taxes on our electricity bills because of the Government’s carbon reduction target.

    And who was it that imposed these targets in the first place?

    Yep – Ed ‘no septums here’ Miliband, the fuckwit.

  91. 91

    Davey and Browne are indeed favourites to enter the cabinet, but not necessarily at Energy and Climate Change. I would tip Danny Alexander for that job, and the new entrant to go to the Chief Sec job

  92. 92
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    Guido meant pathetic not telegenic. Both are totally useless.

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times

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