Now Guido knows that Mike Hancock, self-confessed teen-fondler and LibDem, must have a lot on his mind, let alone his conscience, but it takes a special level of incompetence to manage to sign two completely contradictory Early Day Motions. The pervy Portsmouth MP signed both EDM 2109 – opposing Christians being able to opt-out of equality laws, and EDM 2081 – supporting Christians being able to opt-out of equality laws. He’s taking sitting on the fence to whole new levels.

In other news, the sex-text pest and Ruski-sympathiser has told his local rag that his phone may have been targeted in the phone-hacking scandal.

It was more likely to have been MI5 listening in…

UPDATE: It seems Labour’s Paul Flynn has fallen into the same trap, but then we knew all along that the die-hard socialist wasn’t quite all there.