July 5th, 2011


There are many reasons why the NHS is not the “envy of the world”, but Guido reckons they could have tried a little harder with their token celebrity endorsement for the NHS’s 63rd birthday today. Step forward Ozzy Osbourne. The ageing rocker sings the praises of the organisation, though he seems to have changed his tune from his last public utterances on a medical theme. In 2005 he famously told a crowd in Michigan that he’d been warned not to sing, but “the doctor can go f**k himself”.

Things have been little uncomfortable for Lansley in recent months, but Guido had no idea things were that desperate at Richmond House…


  1. 1
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    Yup. Amy Winehouse would have been much better.

  2. 2
    trevor_nunn says:

    Can we not have more coverage of this pleb?

    Bottom right especially.


  3. 3
    MrAngry61 says:

    Any state sector organisation that seeks celebrity endorsement needs to be pruned hard IMO.

  4. 4
    Johann Hari says:

    I’m making a film. It’s all about a teenager who accidentally travels back to the 1950’s in a time machine made out of a Delorean.

  5. 5
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Didnt he get treated here when he had a accident with quad ?

  6. 6
    Mike Litorus says:

    And they all derided B£iars Cool Britannia celebrity chasing, only to start sucking celebrity cock the second they were in power.

    Share in piano wire companies are looking up…

  7. 7
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Looking at the picture i thought it was Amy Winehouse.

  8. 8
    Kia Abdullarse says:

    I laughed when I heard that Milly Dowler’s phone had been hacked and her parents had been given false hope. That’s terrible, right? Yes, I’m an awful person.

  9. 9
    Smig says:

    In light of Ozzy’s Brummagem roots.
    West Brom makes Aston and Nechells look good.

  10. 10
    Billy Bellend says:

    Ozzy Osbourne – Birmingham’s favourite vegetable?

  11. 11
    Professor Sir Robert Winstons says:

    Ah yes the degenerate drunken cu’nt Osbornes

    The blood soaked, vainglorious, war criminal A Blair could write him a letter of sympathy for his injuries sustained in a quad bike crash, but what of the 400 squaddies seriously injured in southern Iraq?
    Not so much as a kiss me arseole Im rich now!!!! you whinging, barely literate, disability fraudsters.

  12. 12
  13. 13
    trevor_nunn says:

    1950s doesn’t need an apostophe as it’s plural rather than possessive


  14. 14
    Smig says:

    No, that award goes to Benny from Crossroads.

  15. 15
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Will Labour mps still give interviews to the NOTW?

  16. 16
    Tax Payer says:

    We wondered if you’d reconsider being a c’unt?

  17. 17
    Mike Litorus says:

    Never mock the afflicted.

    Except that cnut.

  18. 18
    trevor_nunn says:

    Milly Dowler is an infidel and a slut (for showing her face in public), so that is fair comment.

  19. 19
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Given that he lives in Los Angeles, I don’t suppose he has to risk using the NHS all that often…

  20. 20
    Andy Gray says:

    And what were your thoughts, Sally, when Uncle Rupe was supporting the glorious Labour cause? That’s right – not a peep, tweet or sheet from you!

  21. 21
    trevor_nunn says:

    Nechells and Lozells was sufferinga civil war when I lived there.

    Bongos versus Musloids


  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Too humpable for that Billy.

  23. 23
    Silly Sally Bigcow says:

    I’m a self-righteous, sanctimonious hypocritical non-entity !! In fact I’m an IDEAL candidate for the next available cushy Liebour seat.

  24. 24
    Sir William Waad says:

    I wonder what he thinks the ‘H’ stands for in ‘NHS’?

  25. 25
    steve jones says:

    Guido, can I ask a special favour? I won’t ask again.

    Every day I fire up this page http://order-order.com/2011/06/13/awkward-ed-miliband-moments-ii/, look at the photo on the bottom right and go to work with a smile on my face. Problem is, my computer at home is crap and the connection is slow, so it takes about 5 mins to scroll down to see it.

    Can you start a thread just with that picture on it?

  26. 26
    Sir William Waad says:

    Nothing to get Paranoid about, eh?

  27. 27
    Joss Taskin says:

    Weren’t B£iar, Brown, Balls, Mangledbum all lovey-dovey with rupes in 2002 ??????

  28. 28
    Ivor Price says:

    Osbourne economics cannot be any worse than Brownsian economics.
    Revenues go down so put up prices, ad nauseum.
    This virus has hit business everywhere in the UK, none harder than the pubs and restaurants, yet they do not seem to learn – just simply fold.

  29. 29
    lord asquith says:

    Even better if you photoshop Jedward hair on the top or put a ticket machine round him like Blakey from on the Buses.

  30. 30
    Billy Bellend says:

    I don’t see the fuss about the deleted Milly Dowler voicemails. Surely Johann Hari could ‘reconstruct’ them from other voicemails.

  31. 31
    Jasmin Alibi Cunt says:

    Shuddup English pig

    Those killers deserved what they got, your hate makes me want to shit currys

  32. 32
    Luther Ban-Dross says:

    Yeah, how much did this all cost in time and money?

    Celebrating a 63rd anniversary FFS. Don’t these people have anything better to do, like caring for the sick?

  33. 33
    Classroom assistant says:

    Im not sure yo’ure “right” about that?

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    He was ‘acting’

  35. 35
    a mexican in LA says:


  36. 36
    Thats News says:

    Why? An aging Brummie is an ideal chap. Plus Black Sabbath fans are now in positions of influence!

  37. 37
    lord asquith says:

    MoT’s were cheap’r in the 1950’s

  38. 38
    Steve Miliband says:

    Osborne has let himself go a bit. He looked quite sensible last week when he was at the tennis. Must have been one hell of a weekend.

    What happens in Dorneywood stays in Dorneywood.

  39. 39
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I think its counter-productive.

    “This is what the NHS can do for you”

    Great slogan, unless thats what they mean to do??????

  40. 40

    George lets his hair down.

  41. 41
    lord asquith says:

    “If we don’t give Osama Bin Laden a proper Islamic burial, we’re no better than he is” – f*cking mad Yasmin Alibayah-Brown, Question Time 2011

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    The difference between left and right on media loyalty issues? The right just get on with it with the odd moan or two. The left shriek on cue like the hysterical bitches they are.

  43. 43
    Ghengis says:

    The only true capitalistic countries in the world are now in the east, China, South Korea etc. and their health care is for ordinary citizens is constantly improving, whilst our health care is moving backwards. They may not subscribe to democracy but that is after all only a myth to keep the masses quiet.

    People forget that there were hospitals before the NHS. They were built by entrepreneurs and then taken over by the socialists whose unions then proceeded to undermine our industries. That health care and those hospitals, would, if it had not been for socialists, now be by far the best in the world.

    Thank you Bevan you did not start health care in this country. You destroyed it as socialists destroy everything they touch.

  44. 44
    Martyr Hari says:

    A shambling wreck that reminds us of better days now falling apart at the seams. how apt that the NHS chose Osbourne as a figure head.

    As The Oz told me during our interview
    “Martyr, wheres me fuckin’ slippers, ‘as that Hunting dog eaten them again?”

  45. 45
    misterned says:

    Benny was acting? I thought Benny was a character portrayed by the acting of Paul Henry. I did not realise that Paul Henry was acting the part of a normal man who was only acting like a vegetable.

    oooh that’s clever that is, that character had so much more depth and many more layers than I had realised.

  46. 46
    Beware the ides of March says:

    “No ides”?

  47. 47
    NHS Deathcamp Commandant says:

    Care for the sick? CARE?!

    You mis-understand our mission. The sick must be liquidated. My preferred method is to leave them lying in their own faeces, desperately trying to reach the flower-vase full of water, which I’ve left just out of their reach.

  48. 48
    lord asquith says:

    who won?

    I know the English lost.

  49. 49
    Smig says:

    I thought Kings Oak was 1970s reality TV.

  50. 50
    "Clever" Trevor says:

    What’s an “apostophe”?

  51. 51
    Lobster Throttler says:

    The doctor told him not to sing! more like the doctor said you couldn’t sing if your fucking life depended you fat smack headed alky wanker.

  52. 52
    stupid cunts says:

    Why are the unions complaining about the Bombardier job losses, when it was their party, Labour, which delivered the country the Lisbon Treaty and ensured all the EU Directives were applied with full rigour in the UK.

  53. 53
    boulay says:

    let’s hope that carpetright reconsider not suing sally bercow as she obviously wants a fight…..

  54. 54
    Smig says:

    West Brom has its own entertainment.
    Usually EDL versus Islam. Failing that Tom Watson is the MP…

  55. 55
    Lobster Throttler says:

    Fuck off berkowitz you midget munching whore.

  56. 56
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    I’d be surprised if Ozzy can remember back to last week let alone 2005.

  57. 57
    Glyn H says:

    That because we did not have them.

  58. 58
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Thats enough about Guido! :-)

  59. 59
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m Ozzy.

  60. 60
    boulay says:

    do you think that the Guardian had been keeping the NOTW/Milly Dowler in a box on the wall with “In Emergency Break Glass” on it for when they really really need help, when everything they stand for and love is about to be shown up for the crock of shit it is and they need to try and turn attention away from “progressive” idiocy.

    and then Johan Hari-Kari-Gate happens and Rusbridger solemnly walked over to the hallowed wall and announced to waiting Guardian hacks, “This is for Johan and for all of us who believe in a better world” as he broke the small window, pulled out the disk and told the staff to run it…..

  61. 61
    What is the point of Dave? says:

    Dave should get the fuck back from Stan NOW.

    The real war is with the EU. What fucking right has a EUROCrat to tell me a British Taxpayer that I must buy German Trains and not British Trains.

    Come on DAVE, fight for you fucking OWN fucking country for a change!!!

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    A little lesson here for Billy. By allowing someone else to go first, he was able to make a half ecent comment. Lesson over.

  63. 63
    Paranoid says:

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    ecent with a d, that is.

  65. 65
    Billy Bellend says:

    And where is Dave “cast-iron guarantee” Cameron who could simply tell the EU to “get stuffed”? But of course, he wont because he doesn’t have any cojones.

  66. 66
    Smig says:


  67. 67
    licensed to shill says:

    The left have got the whole of the BBC shilling for them, bought and paid for by the mug license fee payers, and yet they still fucking whinge.

  68. 68
    stupid cunts says:

    I wholeheartedly agree.

  69. 69
    G McNutter Brown says:

    I would like to wish David Haye the best of luck in his match this weekend against Voldemra Klinko, his victory will be a proud achievement for the new labour NHS.

  70. 70
    Mjolinir says:

    I reckon it was a c*ck-*p – they meant to invite George-with-a-U to talk on “The Monetary Implications” – but decided NOT to do a ‘U-turn’ when they realise Ozzy would almost certainly be seen as more credible

  71. 71
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Mong of the decade front runner and well ahead of the rest of the pack…

  72. 72
    EdMiliband says:

    Rebekah Brooks should consider her position.
    Brooks should consider her position.
    Becky should consider her position.
    She should consider her position.
    The position of Brooks should be considered.
    Brooks, position, consider

  73. 73
    Bring back Thatcher. says:

    Maybe they could have wheeled out Stephen Hawking, seeing as the genius has said how the NHS saved his life.

  74. 74
    Martyr Hari says:

    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical. –Thomas Jefferson

    “Get out of my house you fat time travelling lefty queer” he screamed during our interview

    The man was of course a slave owning homophobic facsist unable to come to terms with the future as revealed by my goodself

  75. 75
    lord asquith says:

    comment of the day!

  76. 76
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Bear in mind that is Americanese, which strictly speaking is not proper Engleesh… :-)

  77. 77
    Sir William Waad says:

    Yes but…..we do need the NHS, but not as much as the NHS needs us.

  78. 78
    Raving Loon says:

    The NHS and Climate Change are the UK’s 2 real religions. The facts aren’t important, if you dare to question either you’ll be punished as a heretic.

  79. 79
    Jane Pigrim says:

    Destroyed Health service provision ? Or made much better?

    Much better for me anyway.

  80. 80
    Ed Miliband says:

    The strikes are wrong at a time error 404 file not found….er…..does not compute…….Mary had a little lamb,

  81. 81

    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights…

    But not black people, obviously.

  82. 82
    Andrew Lansley says:

    Ozzy, I only said that the NHS needed reform. There’s no need for you to bite my head off.

  83. 83
    ooohh! says:

    More like Horrific.

  84. 84
    Mjolinir says:

    @Trevor Nunn #13 – On a point of pedantry – in the phrase //it’s plural rather than possessive// – the word ‘it’s’ has an apostrophe indicates an ellipsis (contraction or abbreviation) – neither plural, nor possessive.

    And, to reduce confusion(or increase it?), when ‘its’ IS used as a possessive, most people omit the apostrophe.

  85. 85
    Bill Ward says:

    Ozzy Osbourne had this message for NHS Staff:

    “If it wasn’t for the hardworking staff of the NHS following my serious quad bike accident I may not be here today to continue my career as the Prince of Darkness.”


  86. 86
    Benny says:

    I’d rip up her carpet.

  87. 87
    Hamish says:

    Actually Ozzy writes a medical column for the Sunday Times every week.
    Talks more sense than most of the journalist quacks.

  88. 88
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    At the time of posting !
    The Government had to admit
    There are considerably more drugs in Mr Osbourne
    than in any of our pharmacy’s

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