June 24th, 2011

Ed’s ShadCab Shake Up

The benefits of scrapping Shadow Cabinet elections are endless, for Miliband at least. The public look set to be deprived of the bi-yearly bun-fight that takes patronage out of the hands of the leader. Miliband has found himself forced to fill his shadow cabinet with his brother’s supporters and just six of his own backers. He also gets to pretend he isn’t a weak leader for a whole news cycle.

The plans will have to be backed by the party, and it could all be hugely embarrassing if they thumb their noses at him, but it comes with vital Blairite support. If the changes do pass, will Miliband implement last summer’s promise, in support of Harriet Harman, to make half his cabinet women?


128 Comments

  1. 1
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    The Labour Party would be stupid to continue the current system, but then they have a track record of being stupid. Would be fun to see the bruvvers at Conference vote this down.

  2. 2
    Selohesra says:

    A bit radical to impose compulsory sex-changes isnt it? – which half would be converted to women. Dont think Ed Balls would make a very nice women or the Eagle person for that matter.

  3. 3
    The Unions says:

    You’ll appoint who we tell you to.

  4. 4
    Monkey Chops says:

    The best leadership a major political party has to offer Great Britain.

    How have we managed to sink so low? A bunch of third rate shysters and charlatans.

    God help us.

  5. 5

    I would not lend any one of them £1 nicked from your pocket.

  6. 6
    vince says:

    “…to make half his cabinet women?”

    As opposed to a bunch of hand wringing old women?

  7. 7

    With some of them, I believe it would be their second, or even third, sex change.

  8. 8
    NotaSheep says:

    Wouldn’t a promise to make the shadow cabinet half competent be more impressive?

  9. 9
    Steve Miliband says:

    The Ugly Tree has been busy

  10. 10
    Dumb Liberals says:

    http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100093577/the-science-is-settled-us-liberals-really-are-the-dumbest-creatures-on-the-planet/

    ……..They just want to construct their pretty little narrative about the world, regardless of whether or not it has any bearing on reality. And then they want to dump it on us. And ruin our lives. So not just stupid but evil too…….

  11. 11
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    You’d be lucky to find £1 in my pocket: Jonah “Fingers” McDoom has already picked it.

    Any spare BWT cash goes offshore to Canada and Switzerland.

  12. 12
    Tony Bliar is a cunt says:

    What a horrible lot……….Especially peter hain, the bank robber……

  13. 13
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    If the little nobody Ed Reallybland gets to pick his own cabinet
    he should leave out Ed balls
    who is just waiting to fill little ED’s shoes !

  14. 14
    Steve Miliband says:

    If he chooses a Shad Cab full of his supporters, it’s going to be pretty empty

  15. 15
    Gonk says:

    Dear Mr. Byrne,
    I’d like to hit you in the face with a shovel,
    throw you out the window and then get my dog
    to savage you. I mean no disrespect.

  16. 16
    Shubert Dab says:

    It is not a matter of left or right but a matter of fact that pigeon toed mingers don’t make good finance managers

  17. 17
    nell says:

    What’s that saying? ‘ keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer’!

  18. 18
    Dennis Skinner says:

    Extra extra – Miliband to abolish democracy!

    Extra extra – Guido agrees with me on Europe!

  19. 19

    For anyone who wants to read WSJ or FT articles without having to subscribe, this is useful (in case you don’t already know about it):

    http://tinyurl.com/6hlve8w

  20. 20
    TOO FAR says:

    ‘Sex changes in the shadow cabinet’? what great entertainment, Who would do what?? A lot of the men behave like bitches anyway Oh! the thought of Edd bullshit in drag… I’m going to throw up!!!!

  21. 21

    Agree completely with your strategy, BWT!

  22. 22
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Its called “re-tooling”

  23. 23

    Can you imagine Ball’s testicles grafted onto Harman’s forehead? Ye Gods!

  24. 24
    Bronson says:

    *Tsk*

    Only 1 hit with the shovel!?? That pasty, doughy face of his is good for at least 4 or 5…
    Gonks today – don’t have it in ‘em like they used to.

  25. 25
    nell says:

    I am immensely grateful to gordon and now militwit along with their acolytes like bullyballs, hain the tangoed one and hattyharpic ……

    They turn politics into the most amusing comedy and I get enormous fun out of watching them. Of course they’re not electable ; doubt they could even run a local playschool.

    And yes yes I know they’ve ruined the country, given us a legacy of two devastating wars and left us a debt mountain even midas would struggle to climb but you have to look at the positives especially in these difficult times.

  26. 26
    Jack Dromley ( Mrs ) says:

    Guarantees me a place then !

  27. 27
    Backwoodsman says:

    Particularly appropriate when you consider the venal, nonentities that milibland has to work with !
    Karinas’ strap -on may be surplus to requirements at the moment, perhaps she’ll lend it to labour ?

  28. 28
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    The only socialist not grining around the table is testicals ed.

    Is the dumpy little runt, like his dad Mc Doom, unable to even pretend to be pleasant?

  29. 29
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Bugger the toes – it’s the pigeon-brains that worry me.

  30. 30
    Hang The Bastards says:

    What he is saying is he wants to be able to get rid of BLINKY !

  31. 31
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Is that a Question To Which The Answer Is Yea Verily?

  32. 32
    Chris The Leatherman says:

    Don’t Peter ‘Bankrobber’ Hain and Liam ‘there’s no money left’ Byrne look like a couple of smug gits.

  33. 33
    Stepney says:

    Fuck me, just look at them in that picture. Grinning away, having fucked up the country for a generation. A triumph of incompetent ineptitude and criminal mediocrity. They played politics like a parlour game, solely for their own amusement and self-gratification.

    And didn’t know what the fuck they were doing.

    That’s not the Labour Party….that’s the Guilty Party.

  34. 34
    sinister or wot? says:

    WTF are they smiling?

  35. 35
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    And leave Balls outside the tent pissing in? Even RedEd isn’t that suicidal.

  36. 36
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    That is merely a rictus brought on by the political death of the Looting Party.

  37. 37
    Gonk says:

    Ah, I’ve just noticed Upchuck Humungous
    right at the back, by the window.
    Hello there little fella, there’s a good boy, fetch.

  38. 38

    Rather ironic that the patient that Cameron and Clegg were standing next to having, in accordance with hospital procedure, removed their neckwear and scrubbed their hands, was a retired tie manufacturer…

  39. 39
    Engineer says:

    How have we managed to sink so low?

    Easy – allowing politics to be run by a lot of Oxbridge PPE graduates with no experience of anything outside politics. Whenever somebody who has done something makes a sensible comment, he/she gets a kick in the chops (see Lord Young for details).

    How many current senior politicians can you think of with real non-political achievements to their name?

  40. 40
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Who would like to shove Liam Byrnes face in a pile of dog poo. Mind you Peter Hains face looks as though it’s already been in the poo.
    What’s the point of moving the deckchairs on a sinking ship?

  41. 41
    Engineer says:

    Yes, but where are the candidates?

  42. 42

    The meeting of the committee for the delegation of rhetoric.

  43. 43
    'Ave It says:

    Bottom of the pile

    Readers Digest asked readers to rate
    100 famous right wing political bloggers for trustworthiness. “Billy Bowden is the world’s greatest umpire “came last


  44. 44
    Shubert Dab says:

    its like the fucking Apprentice

    i’m best, no i’m best

    no you are all fucking shit

  45. 45
    The Labour Parteh (grinning inanely) says:

    Our shadow cabinet meetings are an opportunity for us to pretend we’re still in power.

  46. 46
    Tax Payer says:

    As Guido says, it’s Ed’s symbolic but meaningless show of ‘strength’.

    He’d show more strength by kicking the government in the balls. But he’s not good enough to do that.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Most of them are still in Year 5 at school. They’ll be ready in another 20-25 years to sweep Labour back into power. That coincides with my retirement and emigration.

  48. 48
    Raving Loon says:

    It would be mostly funny, were these people not so powerful in the media and politics wherever you go, and as such they’re highly dangerous. The problem with liberals (as the saying goes) is not so much what they know, it’s what they know that isn’t so.

  49. 49
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Off the top of my head, David Davis, John Redwood, the awful Harriet Harman and Patrick Mercer all had successful careers outside Parliament.

  50. 50
    Twatwatch says:

    You got his moniker wrong, titbrain.

  51. 51
    Barry says:

    Liam Fox and others as GPs

  52. 52
    Engineer says:

    The photographer cried, “Think of your expense claims!”

  53. 53
    Raving Loon says:

    Or would be successful in the private sector had they never entered politics.

  54. 54

    @GOM. In case you didn’t see it, my cat left a message for you but the page changed (have been away since.)

    @08:06

    http://tinyurl.com/62jynsz

    and also at 08:46 (same page) where you had asked a question about expats paying tax in the UK.

  55. 55
    Gonk says:

    Byrne has already had Eagle’s arse
    transplanted on to his head. Murphy has had
    a Harman pubic hair/forehead swop.

  56. 56
    Engineer says:

    ….and that’s about it. They’re hardly in the majority, are they?

  57. 57
    Steve Miliband says:

    Denham has had the ‘Gordon Brown false smile’ facelift

  58. 58
    Ed's Girlies says:

    “If the changes do pass, will Miliband implement last summer’s promise, in support of Harriet Harman, to make half his cabinet women?”

    He’s already done that, his shadow cabinet is a bunch of girls blouses.

  59. 59
    Moley. says:

    Presumably Professor Harman of Hogwarts can transfigure the rest of the shadow Cabinet so that for party political purposes they become token women too.

  60. 60

    Rate us out of 10.

    At http://www.labour.org-y_ofspending.con.uk

    Leader of the Labour Party
    Ed Miliband

    Deputy Leader and Shadow Secretary of State for International Development
    Harriet Harman

    Shadow Chancellor
    Ed Balls

    Shadow Foreign Secretary
    Douglas Alexander

    Shadow Chief Whip
    Rosie Winterton

    Shadow Home Secretary and Minister for Women and Equalities
    Rt Hon Yvette Cooper MP

    Shadow Chief Secretary
    Angela Eagle

    Shadow Secretary of State for Business, Innovation & Skills
    John Denham

    Cabinet Office and Minister for the Olympics
    Tessa Jowell

    Shadow Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government
    Caroline Flint

    Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media & Sport
    Ivan Lewis

    Shadow Leader of the House of Commons
    Hilary Benn

    Shadow Secretary of State for Defence
    Jim Murphy

    Shadow Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs
    Mary Creagh

    Shadow Secretary of State for Education and Election Coordinator
    Andy Burnham

    Shadow Lord Chancellor, Secretary of State for Justice
    Sadiq Khan

    Shadow Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change
    Meg Hillier

    Shadow Secretary of State for Health
    John Healey

    Shadow Secretary of State for Northern Ireland
    Shaun Woodward

    Shadow Secretary of State for Scotland
    Ann McKechin

    Shadow Secretary of State for Transport
    Maria Eagle

    Shadow Secretary of State for Wales
    Peter Hain

    Shadow Secretary of State for Work & Pensions
    Liam Byrne

  61. 61
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I’d suggest its more to do with more “politics” in politics. ie people who know how to keep in with the powerful, and do things for their own power.

    As for Lord Young, he was talking a fair load of shit too.
    ie (A) that his neices didn’t know why they were going to university and yet we were supposed topay for them (B) middle class families could afford plenty more kids if they had bunk beds and no piano lessons.

  62. 62
    Steve Miliband says:

    30 of Britain’s brightest political talents………….

  63. 63
    She'd Rather Forget says:

    Check out the causes Hattie defended in the seventies!

  64. 64
    The wrinklies weekend out. says:

    So, Is Andrew super injunction Marr doing Glastonbury this year?

  65. 65
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    you rekon an unerring ability to bullshit and stamp on your opponents isn’t a good thing in business? Did you see the apprentice this week!

  66. 66
    Archer Karcher says:

    Ed must have a lot of ugly, obnoxious and stupid enemies then.

  67. 67
    Luciana Burger with fries says:

    Does this mean I now have to suck Ed’s cock to advance my career? For fuck’s sake, after sucking off Euan Blair, Sion Simon and Chucky Yomomma, I should be leader of the party by now!

  68. 68
    Rory Stewart says:

    I was Lawrence of Arabia before becoming an MP

  69. 69
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    Just because they had jobs for a VERY short time outside politics hardly detracts from the point from their lack of real life experience. Most of them did a short stint so that if politics did not work out they had something to put on their CV to fall back on.

  70. 70
    Fenman says:

    and a number are not `girls` really

  71. 71
    Southern Softy says:

    Half men and half women.
    What about the LGBT and effnics?
    Come on Ed, get your act together.

  72. 72
    TOWIE says:

    Rachel Reeves – that accent would soon grate. The only way is Ethics

  73. 73
    South of the M4 says:

    I am actually struggling to think of any political achievements.

  74. 74
    He won't be robbing any more houses says:

    So now it turns out that the burglar who got what he deserved when he was stabbed to death during an attempted robbery was already out on bail for ANOTHER robbery.

    I’m not weeping for that c unt. I do love the irony that his 3 pals dumped him at the side of the road after he was stabbed. What’s the world coming to when you can’t even trust a fellow crook? :-D

    Literally the day before this happened, Cameron said the govt will support those who defend themselves against attack. Time to back that up. The householder’s been arrested. He should be freed immediately on grounds of self defence and justifiable force.

  75. 75
    Liar Byrne, aka Baldemort says:

    Just because we left no money behind ?? How petty !

  76. 76
    Archer Karcher says:

    It doesn’t help that the vermin have surrendered most of their powers to another place in another country.
    The phrase ‘we were only obeying orders’ comes to mind, trouble for the treasonous filth is, it didn’t work last time and it will not work next time either and you can be sure there will be a next time too.

  77. 77
    Southern Softy says:

    Friends come and go.
    Enemies accumulate.

  78. 78
    Archer Karcher says:

    Is Harmperson the most repugnant woman in national politics today?

  79. 79
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I have reminded myself about Lord young and he’s a bloody good example of a useless sod from the political elite.

    He actually said something moderately sensible “people with a stable job will be better off with the reduction in mortgage payments”.

    But when he said “so called recession” he was completely ignoring people who aren’t in that sort of job – ie the folks in the harsh end of small enterprise, who actually have to get money out of the pockets of real people every week.

  80. 80
    Archer Karcher says:

    What’s it like being one of the Bilderburger’s chosen ones Rory?

  81. 81

    Shut it you nag!

  82. 82
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin says:

    There is a tiny amount of female window dressing there but quite a few of them have clearly been taking too many ugly pills.

  83. 83
    Gordon Brown says:

    Don’t forget to buy my book. It’s available at all good book shops and the toilets on Hampstead Heath.

  84. 84
    David Minibanana says:

    Who will stab Ed the Backstabber in the back ???

  85. 85
    Greek economy - socialism in action says:

    Half women? How fucking typical of the social engineering twats. No interest in ability – box ticking quotas is far more important.

    Orange faced bank robber & hideously ugly lesbian. Puke.

  86. 86
    Backwoodsman says:

    Is there no Von Staufenberg in the labour party ?

  87. 87
    Sir Reginald Titbrain [Decd.] says:

    It not just Oxbridge, if it that at all. There are plenty of Oxbridge types who have run companies and created wealth; so Oxbridge is an irrelevance.

    Just do a mental analysis of MP’s from you’re own knowledge.

    What a bunch of dysfunctional clowns. Handycock, that oaf in his y-fronts, Laws, Balls, Brown, Blair, Lardarse of Hull, Jack Dromey the female impersonator, Jaffa Hain, Oaten, Simon Hughes the suspect anti-gay, legions of expenses scammers, poofters and dykes by the truckload etc, etc.

    You’d be hard pressed to find a group of people more worthy of contempt anywhere, including prison.

    No politician would dare write this; the massed ranks of the PC army would rise as one and drivel on relentlessly via the BBC until the perpetrator admitted he was a lowlife, a fool, and topped himself after leaving all his money to the needy.

    Like all problems, this starts at the grass roots. Some outfit is selecting these social retards to represent us, so if we can be arsed to vote, we vote for the rosette.

  88. 88
    Public Sector Parasite with enormous gold-plated pension says:

    Keep paying the tax suckers! Labour converted the UK into the world’s toilet how much worse can this lot make it?

  89. 89
    Archer Karcher says:

    IMF say the current financial crisis means that faster and deeper fiscal integration in EUrope is essential.

    IMF: Stop meaningless debate and integrate now.

    http://euobserver.com/9/32518

  90. 90
    Gordon Brown MP {retired} says:

    Monthly meeting with the psychiatrist went very well.
    I think she said I might be a bit Bi-Plane!

    I know! Tony always said I was a little Fokker.

  91. 91
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Poor old Mark Pritchard. A defient Tory MP. No doubt the full force of the nasty party and it minions will be gunning for him. Going through his bin already. Still nasty

  92. 92
    Archer Karcher says:

    Have no fear, the parasites will re-invent themselves again, as something which they are entirely not.

  93. 93
    Jonty Pryor says:

    Nice one

  94. 94
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    Good on REd – Though conference won’t allow it.

  95. 95
    Sir Everard Digby says:

    ‘Half the shadow of a cabinet women’? Does that mean 50% male 50% female or 100% trans gender?

    They would be better advised having a quota of 0% complete fuckwits.

  96. 96
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Saw the0806. The only way we could resolve this would be to wait until we heard the B-word then ask the user with faith he belonged to. I know that pentecostalists and other charismatics refer to all and sundry as “brother”, I have yet to hear a Muslim use the word in a similar fashion.Maybe that’s due to my sheltered life.
    Couldn’t find the 0846 ref, sorry.

  97. 97
    Smig says:

    Same old Liebour. Always flipping addresses and gender.

  98. 98
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Surely you aren’t the usual M.K. ?

    The one actually took part in attacking (/sewing confusion about) a potential labour leadership candidate?

  99. 99
    Smig says:

    Hey Unionistas! You know that when you go on strike, you don’t get paid.

    Thanks for reducing the amount I have to pay you feckless gobshites this month.

  100. 100
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    that is like knitting trouble or crocheting disharmony, before anyone says it was a spelling mistake, and not a sock related pun. honest.

  101. 101
    Spank Sinatra says:

    This announcement has all the impact of a fart in a colander but one surely to be welcomed. It will cause division within the cabinet and the PLP more broadly. It will be pushed through at conference with support of the union block vote leaving him further exposed to allegations of being controlled from the left at a time when public sector workers enter a prolonged period of industrial action. Strategically it’s a complete fuck up. Wonderful!!!

  102. 102
    Archer Karcher says:

    The quality of the sperm ingested so far in your quest Luci, is somewhat tenth rate, even by your obviously low standards.

  103. 103
    Lawd Lavender Don't Y'Know? says:

    Margaret Hodge has the Mange.

  104. 104
    Archer Karcher says:

    Ed’s new, new generation contains just about every wanker imaginable from the old, old generation.

  105. 105
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    Many of the shadow cabinet are half women

  106. 106
    Smig says:

    I wouldn’t do business with those Apprentice Reprobates.

    They’ve shown their true colours to an audience of millions. I wouldn’t touch them with the shitty end of a shitty stick.

  107. 107
    Rory's Blog says:

    Its like the fallout from a Beef Phall.

    I have to take my medicine every day and it makes my ring sting.

    I don’t like grabbing my ankles anymore.

  108. 108
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    This lady has breathed new life into the meaning of ,”strumpet”.

  109. 109
    Desperate Dan says:

    Half the cabinet to be women? What blatant discrimination. Half the shadow cabinet should be disabled or musically gifted or French speaking or black or Tory. That’s the trouble with Harriet. She’s obsessed with sex.

  110. 110
    Handycock, Teen Fondler and No1 Trougher in Parliament. says:

    I agree with you about all the others but I am a Paragon of morality, integrity and intellect, despite the fact that I am totally uneducated and have never had a proper job. My honesty is testified to by the fact that I was not prosecuted for fiddling my expenses, I just had to pay them back. I must be a good MP because I am very rich. I work very hard, I am also a Councillor and Head of Planning for Portsmouth and my dear wife also sits on the planning committee, as once did my daughter. I would like to use this blog to deny rumours that I am a business partner with some of the drug dealing property developers here in Portsmouth. Finally, I would like to wish all the best to my fellow Brothers. Boaz.

    http://www.po12bg.com/

  111. 111
    DonkeyDong says:

    You’re not talented enough love. Its not good enough to be able to swallow, you need to be able to gargle the National Anthem too.

    If you want me to bypass your Larynx, no problem. I’ve got 14 inches.

  112. 112
    Desperate Dan says:

    John Prescott has vast experience outside the education system.

  113. 113
    Robert Mugabe says:

    I am proud of you, my protege, Mike Handycock, you have learned much from me and now I have to hand you the accolade that Portsmouth City Council is now more corrupt than Zimbabwe. You also forgot to mention your sartorial elegance and classic 60’s bouuffant hairstyle, which lends you much gravitas.

  114. 114
    G McMental Brown says:

    I am a Jaguar E-Type.

  115. 115
    Elvis says:

    As his son does (allegedly) with houses bought ever so cheaply from the Labour controlled Hull Shitty Council.

  116. 116
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    More likely a ‘C’ type!

  117. 117
    geoff says:

    he should get Dianne Abott in there, that’s an extra 3 or 4 women

  118. 118
    Titford Hat says:

    Nice rant. Very enjoyable.

  119. 119
    Titford Hat says:

    +1

  120. 120
    misterned says:

    Fighting for gay rights and including within those rights, the right to have consensual sexual relations with children, you mean?

    Her and half the gay community in London at that time were trying to get into all that stuff.

    Peter Tatchell (last time I checked) still has documents on his website calling for the legalisation of consensual sexual relations between young children (within 3 years age of each other) and all persons aged 14 and above.

    They will not be truly satisfied until it is an incestuous free-for-all.

  121. 121
    Chris The Leatherman says:

    I remeber the joke from Yes Prime Minister.

    ‘We are mare than equal opportunities Prime Minister, they are all od women ‘

  122. 122
    The Golem says:

    So many of them too. What a waste of money!

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    I think the Muppets are a more honest, trustworthy, and intelligent lineup.

    This might be a serious suggestion:

    How about the two old guys as the next presiding coalition PM & DPM duo, Animal as Chancellor, Kermit as Foreign Secretary, and Miss Piggy in charge of NHS and Education. Pretentious, Moi?

    Beaker … he could be Armed Forces minister.

    Who else is there?

  124. 124
    Prescott's chipolata says:

    He’ll probably wish to push Harriet onto the back benches – she’s such a liability.

  125. 125
    Dale Jones says:

    One man, one vote – and Ed’s the man.

  126. 126
    Nemo says:

    Wasn’t Beaker the one who always held the explosive test tube?

  127. 127
    ISO 9000 says:

    I read your post . it was amazing.Your thought process is wonderful.
    The way you tell about things is awesome. They are inspiring and helpful.Thanks for sharing your information and stories.
    iso 9000

  128. 128
    Gooey Blob says:

    The problem with Labour’s quota system is that politics tends to attract more white middle-class men than any other group, and so that group tends to produce more of the best candidates than any other. When you start selecting by ethnic, social or gender groupings you tend to discard good candidates for those with lesser abilities, in order to fill a quota.

    Tories, and to some extent Liberals too, don’t care for centrally-dictated quota systems, and are more open to “letting the market decide”.


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