June 21st, 2011

Dolly and Mandy Reunited

Mandelson told a Progress faction seminar at Portcullis House last night some home truths. “People will not support further tax and spend unless they can see clear value for money. Further enlarging public sector employment is not an option in the coming decade and we need to look to the real economy, to the private business sector, to deliver sufficient numbers of decently paid skilled jobs.”*

Among the Blairite acolytes (Rentoul was in the chair) was Guido’s old friend Dolly Draper. Westminster is seeing too much of Dolly. Mandelson told the Progress crowd “If I talk about the past it is to learn from it, not to go back to it.”

We can but hope…

*A co-conspirator points out that in an oddly Orwellian piece of censorship this “money quote” is missing from the official report on the Progress website.


91 Comments

  1. 1
    P. Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    :)

    Like

    • 4
      Head Balls says:

      So we have a picture of Dolly scratching his Balls and and a mystery man his head.

      Like

      • 32
        Hugh Janus says:

        Surely not? I thought Guido had removed Dolly’s balls some time ago.

        Like

        • 63
          Edward speaks Balls says:

          My boss Ed Millipede and I do not have a view on the Greek / Euro crisis. After all we cannot be in favour of deeper and faster cuts when we criticise the Tory led government for doing just that. Its the frogs and krauts who are trying to force the Greeks into taking the medicine which are vigorously opposed to!

          Like

          • Class M-3 Model B9 General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot says:

            Bring back Dolly!

            I miss him and we hadn’t finished laughing at him

            Like

          • Class M-3 Model B9 General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot says:

            By the way, was that at Portcullis House or in Portcullis house?

            Like

      • 73
        Anonymous says:

        You should have used a wide angled lens Guido, then you could have had Osborne in the shot. Well he and Mandy did travel together to the recent Bilderberg meeting so if you’e looking for strange bedfellows look no further.

        Like

  2. 2
    Anonymous Coward says:

    Why is this story illustrated with a picture of Ricky Gervais ?

    Like

  3. 3
    Eamon H says:

    hasn’t Dolly got fat?
    and his hair always looks so lank and dirty – wonder what Kate sees in him

    Like

    • 6
      Grammar School Boy says:

      Dolly with a beard? Quite a common theme in Labour circles….

      Like

      • 14
        Nemo says:

        No its probably not shaving for 4 days, maybe he can not grow a proper beard, is he still a Psyhco the rapist.

        Like

  4. 5
    Gordon Brown says:

    The A-Team are back together

    We are the party of the many, the torys are the party of the few!

    When i say the party of the many i mean you will all pay for my Debt legacy every single one of you.

    Like

  5. 7
    Brutus says:

    Thats the end of Ed then.

    Like

  6. 9
    Old Labour says:

    Labour are a peculiar lot. They throw out their most successful leader ever, to replace him with people having the charisma of wet fish. Then they employ Ed Balls as second in command who has a strategy that can only be described as a load of bollocks.

    Kinnock is correct. He has got his prty back

    Like

    • 34
      nell says:

      Indeed. I think michaelfoot would be very proud of this labour party under militwit.

      Like

    • 35
      Hugh Janus says:

      Parteh?

      Like

    • 55
      Norfolk & Chance (Solicitors) says:

      Didn’t the tories throw out their most sucessful leader ever and replace her with a succession of wet fish??

      It’s a political anomaly not a party thing.

      Like

      • 60
        Rick the Roman says:

        But Major did win an election unlike the one-eyed Scottish bankruptcy expert.

        Like

      • 66
        Osama the Nazarene says:

        They did indeed, and Ken Clarke and Tarzan the Ape were the pro Euro guilty men in grey suits who gave her the Black Spot.

        Like

  7. 10
    Nemo says:

    Mandy Pooh: Well, hello Dolly
    Dolly: Hello Mandy, have you got fleas or something

    Like

  8. 11
    Government by U-Turn says:

    And yet again Dave Cameron’s chums can’t hit 40% in the opiniom polls.

    He is in for a mauling at tomorrow’s PMQ’s

    Latest YouGov/Sun voting intention CON 37%, LAB 43%, LDEM 9%

    Latest government approval: minus 26 (Approve 29%, Disapprove 55%)

    Like

    • 26
      Anonymous says:

      But IDS will hold out (- Cast Iron Dave’s afraid of him): just to make sure that women and the older lot will hate the tories even more than everyone already does. Hooray!

      Like

      • 56
        Crash says:

        Surely we can’t have another U-turn, this time on the female pension age can we? My mother in law is a parasitic NHS employee (practice nurse) and I was hoping she would get walloped with a few extra years work. If IDS backs down on this he has lost my vote since a few extra years work for her would cheer me up no end.

        Like

        • 84
          HappyUK says:

          This is why public sector pensions are such a bad thing. They have such a huge potential for abuse. The fact is we cannot tell for certain how much money public sector employees need to set aside in order to cover promosed pension payments. The moment of truth has arrived for the public sector and their reaction is not a pretty sight.

          If the NHS or whover make rosy projections, they won’t have to put much money in the pension fund. BUT – it will take many years to prove that the projections were unrealistic all along, and by then the current crop of managers will be long gone. For too long politicians have ignored this. Cameron, to his credit is starting to address this large and obvious cost.

          It is clear that this kind of abuse has been widespread, with stock market return assumptions more akin to science fiction than reality. When asked to increase contributions or work longer in order to make up for the shortfall, writhing public workers will inevitably accuse us of being all kinds of beastly things. But what happens if returns turn out to be much lower than anticipated? This shortfall will have to be made up later by my children and grandchildren otherwise Public Sector Joe will not get his his full pension.

          I should mention that the public sector actuaries who expected to earn 10% annually from shares during this century – 2% from dividends and 8% from price appreciation – would be implicitly forecasting a level of about 24,000,000 on the Dow (for example) by 2100. If any IFA talks to you about double digit returns from shares, explain this math to him – not that it will faze him.
          Beware the glib NHS pilgrim who fills your head with fantasies while he fills his pockets with taxpayer cash.

          Like

          • Nemo says:

            Talking of pensions in the public sector, can anyone cast their minds back a few years in connection with police pensions, they (HMG) discovered that policemen were retiring on ill health grounds at about 27 years of service, they discovered that that was the best age to retire early on health grounds, now they apparently will have a retirement after 35 years service but those that at the moment want to continue after 30 years find that they maybe made redundant. Funny old world isn’t

            Like

    • 38
      is it says:

      Dave is wavey, but extra so because of the coalition. This is why PR is such a poor system.
      Should Dave have the guts to call the Limp Dems bluff, and plough ahead with reforms, and risk a GE and letting REd and co in, which would be far worse tan this lot, or should he do what he can with the lamp Dims?
      My feeling is that he should. the Lump Dums have much more to lose than the Tories, But it is a tight call.

      Like

      • 52
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        Today’s U-turn is nowt to do with the libdems.
        In case its not clear which one it is, or in case we get a different one: its 50% tarif reductions today.

        They should just draft their policies better. And think. It would be a right pain if they were to just force through their badly thought out bollocks.

        Like

        • 61
          is it says:

          Granted, but most of the other 10 or 11 were not.
          I say Dave call their Bluff and see if they dare sign their own extermination..
          If he he looses the gamble, then the Tories can put some proper policies in front of the electorate.

          Like

      • 79
        the only way is anal says:

        Cameron? Have theguts? Fuck off

        Like

  9. 12
    Popeye says:

    “If I talk about the past it is to learn from it, not to go back to it.”
    Fat chance.

    Like

    • 18
      Joss Taskin says:

      If he learnt from the past why was he sacked so many times ??

      Like

      • 37
        Anonymous says:

        Because he’s a lying, cheating, thieving, c’unt.

        Like

        • 80
          the only way is anal says:

          and the most loathsome piece of slime to sully public life in this country for a generation – along with tony (£10 return fare – plenty of room on top) blair

          Like

  10. 13
    Amongomous says:

    I wish someone would throw acid in their faces.

    Like

  11. 17
    Sandalista says:

    Funny thing. The sentence:

    “Further enlarging public sector employment is not an option in the coming decade and we need to look to the real economy, to the private business sector, to deliver sufficient numbers of decently paid skilled jobs.”

    is missing from the online article at

    http://www.progressives.org.uk/articles/article.asp?a=8328.

    Could Guido have made it up or, just perhaps, it was too much for the wider lefty world to read?

    Like

  12. 19

    Mandy who?

    Yesterday’s people telling yesterday’s news.

    Like

    • 70
      Anonymous says:

      And, in view of their collective denial that anything went wrong in their 13-year attempt to bankrupt the country (both financially and morally), more than happy to foist the same disasters upon us again tomorrow.

      Like

  13. 20
    boulay says:

    that labour lot all seem to have very feminine short names; mandy, dolly, milliE. even ed balls is known as C UNT.

    Like

  14. 21
    Eeu to me says:

    Some of the most vile people in politics getting back together to do real damage to the country, if Liebour take back these twats who destroyed real Labour then Eddy baby and his gang of nutters will be a long time trying to get back in, people know that these were the twats did the damage and won’t vote.

    Like

  15. 23
    Phantom says:

    Rats always return to the sewer they came from.

    Like

  16. 24
    Dolly the Creep says:

    I have battled through the longeurs contained in Mandy’s fairy story, ‘The Tird Man’. Buy yourself a copy of a real bogbuster blockbuster of a book written by Yours Truly. They’re a penny each on Amazon.

    Like

  17. 25
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    So when you spend money, you should do so carefully.

    I’m sure Mandy and Derek (hi there!) know that. But they know above all other things that you don’t disagree with stupid bollocks if it keeps you close to power. Which is why no-one ever said to brown “are you sure you should be spending money on that”.

    Like

    • 62
      Anonymous says:

      It’s reported that he was advised by ( I think) the wallahs in the Civil Service that he was spending too much.

      Like

  18. 27
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Fuck off back to the old folks’ home !!!!! http://bit.ly/iJiqLX

    Like

  19. 28
    Dudley Zoo says:

    Mandelson is an amateur

    Like

  20. 29
    Norfolk & Chance (Solicitors) says:

    Our client Dolly Draper would like a supainjukshen on this thread.

    Like

    • 36
      Dr Otis Spunkmeyer says:

      Are you muffin ze press

      Like

    • 43
      Martin Day's goldfish says:

      Has he asked for an injunction about offering to pleasure a young lady with a goldfish? Or does he hope that everyone has forgotten about that by now?

      Like

  21. 40
    nell says:

    http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Showbiz-News/Nobel-Peace-Prize-Winner-Aung-San-Suu-Kyi-Listened-To-Dave-Lee-Travis-Whilst-Under-House-Arrest/Article/201106316015499?lpos=Showbiz_News_First_Home_Page_Feature_Teaser_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_16015499_Nobel_Peace_Prize_Winner_Aung_San_Suu_Kyi_Listened_To_Dave_Lee_Travis_Whilst_Under_House_Arrest_

    I felt really sorry for gordon and sarah when I read this. This week they’ve been sending her high profile birthday wishes on twitter and the like , saying they’d love to be her friend and maybe pay her visits.

    Instead aungsansuukyi pays tribute to dave lee travis saying his radio show made her world complete whilst she was under house arrest.

    hairy cornflake 1 the gordon & sarah bandwagon jumping team 0

    Like

  22. 41
    TOO FAR says:

    I realise Lord Mandlson is unpopular with many people in and out of politics, but he is a very clever operator. He talks a lot of sense, despite being a labour supporter. He will never fit in with the present lot of fuckwits in the shadow cabinett.
    The likes of Balls and wife, mad Hatty Harpic and most of all Ed Millitwit see him as a threat to their ambitions.
    Don’t like the “man” myself but he is more intelligent than most of the labour MP’s and beats the Lib dum lot… not difficult!!!!

    Like

    • 45
      Tax Payer says:

      True to a point, but he isn’t trustworthy. And a man you can’t trust is not much use.

      Like

  23. 44
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    C-unt still hasnt had a wash tho.

    Like

  24. 46
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    C-unt still hasnt had a wash, Maybe Mandy gave him a “deep clean”?

    Like

  25. 47
    Dogsbreath says:

    Just like bathwater, when the money has gone down the plughole all you are left with is the scum hanging to the sides…

    Nuff said!

    Like

  26. 48
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Nothing on Gerg Hands being reported Guido?

    If it was a leftie you would be all over it.

    Like

  27. 50
    Pte Godfrey says:

    My sister Dolleh has sent some cake. She makes the mixture in her armpits.

    Like

  28. 51
    Tax Payer says:

    So the c’unt McShane regularly added up his expenses wrong – by £250 each time. He did this for months and months.

    How likely is it that he would ‘get it wrong’ so often, and by the same amount each time?

    Also:

    “MacShane claimed between £150 and £250 a month for cleaning from the start of 2004 until 2008, when new rules meant that MPs had to submit receipts for all claims over £25. Thereafter, his cleaning claims dropped to £24. “

    Like

  29. 53
    Man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

    “…the real economy…”

    Rem acu tetigisti…

    FINALLY a ZaNuLab henchman admits the inconvenient truth.

    Like

  30. 58
    Government by U-Turn says:

    So what do the June ICM figures, with changes on the general election result, of CON 37 (nc): LAB 39 (+9.3) :LD 12 (-11.6) tell us? Clearly the Lib Dems are fucked,David Cameron’s crowd are treading water, and Ed Miliband’s team are flying…..UP 9.3% SINCE THE GENERAL ELECTION.

    “Bottler” Dave Cameron will be trashed again at PMQ’s by Ed Miliband tomorrow,you heard it here first.

    Like

    • 64
      Alan says:

      Im really confused, is this a Magic show?

      Like

    • 65
      Bat Fastard says:

      2015?

      Like

    • 69
      is it says:

      So this shows that the Tories are holding their place, REd is doing better than Gordon, but only because the LD voters have jumped ship because they are always thought that the LDs were another Labour party.

      As for Ed at PMQs the law of averages says that one day he may well trash Dithering Dave, but that will be the only reason.

      Like

    • 71
      David Jordan, Controller of BBC Editorial Policy andCheerleader for Ed Miliband says:

      BBC News operatives will spend every Tuesday putting their tongues out and waggling their fingers in their ears as part of their tedious plans to impose their views on PMQs and give Ed a leg up.

      Like

    • 72
      Anonymous says:

      Well then: we’ll see you here tomorrow after PMQs and you can either crow or be man enough to take a kicking.

      Or you could emulate Gordon by running away and hiding…

      Like

  31. 68
    Doc Trough says:

    Dolleh. How Sweat!

    Like

  32. 74
    Yer What? says:

    Yer What?

    Like

  33. 75
    David Jordan, Controller of BBC Editorial Policy and Cheerleader for Ed Miliband says:

    Memo to BBC News Operatives:
    Ed’s going to stamp his feet and ask about u-turns tomorrow. Don’t waste any time talking about News or the Euro. Every News bulletin on every channel must be about u-turns and nothing else. There will be bonuses paid to everyone who gets those Opinion Polls moving in Ed’s direction. Remember “Cameron Bad, Miliband Good”.

    Like

  34. 76
    Barry Pincus says:

    Oh Mandy
    You came and you gave without taking
    But I sent you away Oh Mandy

    Like

  35. 78
    Busted says:

    This highlights where Labour are effectively fvcked for decades.
    With a massive goverment debt in the trillions (£1-7tr), depending which way you look at the accounts. Either way it is a horrible financial mess and will exist for decades to come, even if the deficit is bought under control the debt will remain a very big problem. That means that constant attacks on the Conservatives by the Left about being mean and nasty and not spending enough taxpayers dosh to create Labour voters, won’t work with enough of the electorate. People know that spending has to be very tight and heading on the same road Labour took the country on before isn’t an option.
    Labour won’t be able to promise publicly funded nirvana again and that basically wrecks their core economic message. And given that Labour showed that they never meant a damn word about be responsibe with the nation’s finances, it’s very hard to see how they can regain economic credibility.

    Like

    • 81
      the only way is anal says:

      so true – what we really ought to do is fight lots of expensive wars we can’t afford and give the rest of our money to people who hate us and try to kill us.

      what do you mean we already are – who voted for that?

      Like

  36. 83
    Yuk don't mention that snake says:

    the Prime Mincer at work is a man with a mission…the slippiest of the past crew hes capable of turning his syntax around to suit his audience and almost sound genuine when articulating what he knows is a reality…jobs are not coming from the public sector but from the private sector…world shatteringly obvious given the fuck up they made of the economy. Wouldn’t trust the man as far as I could chuck a grand piano.

    Like

  37. 85
    Lord Mandle says:

    You must admit, the singing lessons have been coming alone nicely. And do you like the tan?

    Like

  38. 88
    David Jordan, Controller of BBC Editorial Policy and Cheerleader for Ed Miliband says:

    Memo to BBC operatives:
    Re my previous instructions to describe Cameron as being “a bully” and “losing his temper” whenever he raised his voice at PMQs, please remember that since Ed has been practising under the guidance of a tutor he has now learnt to raise his voice slightly. When Ed raises his voice he should be described as “confident”, “forceful” and “dynamic”.

    Like

  39. 91
    Peaches and Herb says:

    Our quarrel was such a way of learning so much
    I know now that I love you
    ‘Cause I need your touch, hey, hey
    Reunited and it feels so good .

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Path to Defeat More Obvious for Both Labour and Tories | Rafael Behr
It’s Boris v May | Sun
Farage is Outflanking the Tories | Guardian
Boris is Right About Grammar Schools | Conservative Women
‘Obsolete’ Cable | Speccie
Why are Tories so Upbeat? | Alex Wickham
Clear Public Interest in Newmark Sting | Mirror
Boris Invites Farage to Join Tories | Guardian
RAF Too Run Down to Fight Islamic State | Con Coughlin
Osborne’s Personal Cuts Regime | Quentin Letts
Whoever Wins is Cursed | Janan Ganesh


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Mark Reckless told UKIP…

“We are more than a star on someone else’s flag.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,478 other followers