June 17th, 2011

Ed Calls Gordon Daddy

Guido speculated the other day about the role Douglas Alexander played in the onslaught that Ed’s leadership faced last week, and apparently the “Ed” book sheds some more light about his fraught relationship with his leader. Andy Grice reports:

Ed told his fellow Brownite Douglas Alexander that toppling Mr Brown “would be like killing our father”. The authors remark: “This vivid phrase again signifies Ed’s loyalty to his political ‘father’, Brown, not his real-life brother, David.” 

Although he was one of Ed’s oldest political friends, Mr Alexander decided to run David’s leadership election campaign. This was a blow to Ed. The two of them had gone on holiday together and their partners – Justine and Mr Alexander’s wife, Jackie – had also become close. “Ed’s desire to be leader meant his personal relationships were taking a battering,” says the book.

Ed told friends Mr Alexander was annoyed that a man younger than him was standing and believed a brother should not challenge an elder sibling. Mr Alexander was said to believe that Ed’s challenge had its roots in a long-established sibling rivalry and that the Labour leadership should not be “sacrificed” on the altar of it.

Is Wee Dougie avenging the spilt blood?


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    The truth is out!

  2. 2
    Dougie's Wifey says:

    Ed will be out by Christmas.

  3. 3
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    First of all this should be tagged twat watch?

    Second it shows that we are all human and put our own ambition above others (rightly so as well), But as these are socailists they dont regonise ambition (Unless it is dumbed down).

    This is the start of a 5 year Labour civil (or uncivil) war that will tell us more than any off the books so far written.

  4. 4
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    I thought Dougie had already started by releasing David Miliband’s “victory” speech.

  5. 5
    Or is it says:

    Son of Brown = B’stard of the Labour Party

  6. 6
    the only way is anal says:

    alexander is a wimpy scotch cun*t: who gives a fuck what he thinks?

  7. 7
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Desperate Ed Miliband will not last. Stabber Liar Balls cannot last much longer either. How long can the labour party continue with these two chumps?

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Pity they didn’t ACTUALLY kill the one-eyed mong.

  9. 9
    Wei Tu Fik says:

    How the phuck do Labour always seem to recruit the most obnoctious, ulgly, geeky, stupid, lazy, foul mouthed, thieving examples of shyte political types?

    Just think of Skinner, Foot, Kinnock, Brown, Benn, Twigg, Smith, Moran, Morley, et al -

  10. 10
    Order-Order Spokesman says:

    The Caption Contest will be delayed due to rain.

  11. 11
    Labour Home Alone says:

    Bloody Hell. Making enemies of all your friends and family just for the sake of some communist ideals is plain crazy, or how his dad is described stark raving bonkers. Little wonder then that he didn’t have a wedding reception and the only other person on his stag night was his girlfriend.

  12. 12
    RedEd says:

    Forgive them Father for they know not what they do.

  13. 13
    I spit on your gravy says:

    To be replaced by another Cultural Marxist furthering the aims of the Frankfurt School.

  14. 14
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Because that is what socialism is all about!

  15. 15
    unlikely says:

    Not unless he resigns, which is very unlikely. Liebour are very bad at dislodging failing leaders, you might have noticed, especially when they are backed by the unions.

  16. 16
    The Slimeball Party says:

    Don’t forget Vaz and Khan and Chuka and Smith and Haines and Hoon and Prescott and all the rest of them.

  17. 17
    culture of critique says:

    Jack Straw, Gordon Brown, Barbara Roche, Liam Byrne etc etc

    Their aim is to destroy the unity, traditions, stability, and homogeneity of Britain. They are ugly on the outside and even uglier on the inside.

  18. 18
    Sick Making says:

    So when Ed persuaded David not to topple Brown did he refer to Gordon as “Our Father” ?

    I would wager any money that he did not.

  19. 19
    FonyBlair says:

    Due to Guido addressing Ed’s comrades in the Communist party!

  20. 20
    Tex says:

    You don’t get much uglier than the Belgian/Polish/Ash-Can-Nazis known as the Miliband brothers.

  21. 21
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m proud of my boys. No, I don’t mean Ms Macauley’s sons who were conceived from anonyspunk at a jizz bank. I mean Ed Miliband and Ed Balls.

  22. 22
    Aesop o'Sardis says:

    Right at the heart of Communism is the belief that all should be equal. None shall be individuals. None shall be loved for their differences.

    Communism is anti-religious, anti-family and anti-human. It is paraphrased in Star Treck with the Borg.

    There is no point to a life without love. Love cannot be imposed by law or politics.

  23. 23
    Hugh Janus says:

    Do you mind? Your unsavoury list of names has quite put me off my lunch. Having now lost my appetite I was about while away the hours to the next feed by adding some more, but then I soon realised that there were far too many to get the task completed even by next week.

    Ed Militwat’s regard for McBust is deeply worrying, and says all you need to know about his woeful lack of judgement. I realise, of course, that I have fallen into the trap of thinking that a PM should be judged by their abilities, their leadership and their achievements, whereas in the case of a politician like Militwerp only one thing counts – with whom should I ingratiate myself so as to provide the best chance of advancement.

  24. 24
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Can’t believe no one has yet mentioned Denis MacShane and Sion Simon

  25. 25
    Grammar School Boy says:

    …but with a twitch upon the thread…

  26. 26
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Clearly and with respect, there was not, and is not, any sibling rivalry.

    Just look.

  27. 27
    Aesop o'Sardis says:

    I might have added that, if you are a middle aged, middle class, white male whose greatest love is a deranged, people hating, country fucker like G Brown, you are not a communist, or a homo, or slightly out of kilter. You are a certifiable lunatic with a sound grasp of the non-essentials.

    Just the sort of chap I want to be at the helm of the monster raving Labour party for generations to come.

  28. 28
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Lets not forget Ronnie Campbell and Ian lavery!

  29. 29
    Penking from behind a white caravan blind....Mrs Beckett says:

    What about me!

  30. 30
    Aesop o'Sardis says:

    Our Father
    Who art near Leven
    May he stay in Kircaldy
    For ever, and ever.

  31. 31
    eh says:

    You can’t mention MacShane/Mattyjaczek or Sion idiot-boy Simon coz that wud be anti-semitic innit

  32. 32
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    and Micheal Meacher!

    How many houses?

  33. 33
    Sion Simonovitch says:

    I’m a Tory Boy do you wanna shag my wife huh hah hah hah
    fuckin hilarious me

  34. 34
    Eileen Critchley says:

    Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

    Yep, this is great for the Tories.

  35. 35
    turkey baster says:


  36. 36
    Willsteed says:

    Wee Dougie is as gonk-faced as his freak-gonk of a sister.

    Were their parents so very ugly one wonders?

  37. 37
    tory boys never grow up says:

    Ok you can have today’s tasteless comment prize.

  38. 38
    Johnnie Prescott says:

    I shag underlings and Pauline dun’t give a shit. LOL

  39. 39
    Spank Sinatra says:

    And there I was thinking that the cesspool was full to overflowing. The more that comes out, the greater the need for a new one.

  40. 40
    the only way is anal says:

    excellent – will strengthen them enormously when they’re next in government.

  41. 41
    oldie says:

    Dougie was the model for the cartoon of “Kilroy woz ‘ere”

  42. 42
    Spank Sinatra says:

    You mean you haven’t seen his sister, Wendy Alexander? Former leader of the party in Scotland and forced to resign following allegations of having received undeclared ‘loans/gifts’ from foreign and other sources when campaigning for re-election. Her smell lingers on………

  43. 43
    simon r says:

    Oh dear – just got an image of the two Eds squabbling at bathtime whilst Gordon does that wierd smile as he reaches for the loofah…

  44. 44
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    waterboard em!

  45. 45
  46. 46
    Adolf Balls says:

    I will be Leadah!-it is right the right thing for me to do.I will be head of all the talents,- mines being the biggest.
    Together with my partner-who I assure you DOES go like a bunny, together we can go forth and multiply and produce mini -Balls to ensure the Dynasty that will last for a thousand years!!

    (screamed in an ever increasing Davros -like voice)

  47. 47
    David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

    What is more of a concern is that Osborne is courting Mandleson for an international business job, Blair siding up with Cameron and the Lie Con coalition using Liebour politicians for reform work ie Hutton for pensions, Field for child poverty and they are still trying to get Odonis in their camp. Wet Dave is fcking up big style. I thought McClegg had it sown up as the most unpopular lying politician but Cameron is coming on strong to take over the lead.

    When is the government to announce the 25% pension increase for MPs?? When are they going to announce the £9billion bail out fund underhandedly put through?

  48. 48
    anon says:

    I’ve had an even more disturbing vision of the Miliband brothers hanging on to the tits of Sarah Brown. Well, if he’s the daddy, that makes her mummy n’est-ce pas?

  49. 49
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


  50. 50

    Red Ed: The rise of The Miliband Tendency.

    Chapter 4.
    I decided to tell David that I was thinking of running against him. I had such ambition and I was mentally prepared for leadership should I be deemed to be worthy.
    I went in to see him. But before I could begin he started his familiar refrain.

    “Get out of my room, gonkface! Can’t you read?” He pointed to his Transformers bio-hazard door plate. ” NO DWEEBS!”

    “Look, David..I have something..”

    “Get out. Get out. Go out and knock, properly.”

    I sighed heavily and went out and knocked.

    “Who is it?” giggled David.
    “You know who it is..It’s Ed.”

    “Yeah, Ed who?” and he laughed loudly.

    “look its very important..I’ve something quite difficult to tell you.”
    “You’re gay? I already know.”

    “David!…Its very import. I have some..Hey!…. I am Not GAY!”
    “Bi then.”

    “Right..that’s it..I wanted to be friends..”

    “Bum friends!”

    “…but if you’re going to be like this, then I won’t even try to be nice. David. I’m standing for hall monitor this term……David? ….. did you hear?”

    “Go away. You’re boring and I’m busy.”
    “Yeah…Busy masturbating!”

    And I quickly ran down the stairs and into the garden before he could catch me.

  51. 51
    anon says:

    No! Drinking at her ample bosom!!

  52. 52
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Manglebum, Council house Dobson, Jack Dromedary, Devine, Byers.

  53. 53
    South of the M4 says:

    If Ed wants to be seen as a future PM then he cannot enthusiastically back the public sector unions over their strike action. As they happen, he will distance himself and thereby lose the support of the unions.

  54. 54
    Gonk says:

    Her favourite ‘ Jean-Paul Gorbals- The stench of corruption’

  55. 55
    Euro havin' a larf mate says:

    This should be put on Jeremy Kyle’s TV show. Bullying. Fighting. DNA tests. Lie detectors. Power struggles. Enough for a whole series there.

  56. 56
    Alexsandr says:

    makes you wonder if the power hungry pollocks should be taken away in a special jacket with no cuffs and straps to tie behind their back.

    Rowan atkinson did the line in ‘The Thin Blue Line’ that anyone who wanted a firearms licence was, by definition mad, ergo he didn’t issue any firearms licences.

    So we can take that further. Anyone who courts political power is mad and therefor unfit for office.


  57. 57
    Alexsandr says:

    you have forgotten the ugliets meanest trougher of all, Jackie Smith

  58. 58
    The BBC is vanishing up its own. says:

    The Labour Leader has no principles. It is their DNA.

  59. 59
  60. 60
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Yeah we’ve read it once already Bill.

  61. 61
    Rat's arse says:

    That’s the master plan ‘Doctor’. Here’s hoping the Leiber party self implode, never to be seen again, with the two ‘dick eds’ steering the way to oblivion. Oh joy of joys!

  62. 62
    Yvette wouldn't recognise the truth if it valeted her volvo says:

    Alexander is just one in a long line of labour party plotters seeking to hitch their wagons to the likely winners regardless of morals or strategy…feet under the main table is the objective.

    Alexander is a political lightweight bereft of original strategic thinking ability but will be around for a while as he migrates from master to master.
    he chose david but didn’t reckon on the union stitch-up. Hes lucky wee Eddie threw him a bone.

  63. 63
    Yvette wouldn't recognise the truth if it valeted her volvo says:

    or hugh …how many unions can I count on

  64. 64
    Blond Ambitions says:

    Mr Eugenidies had the hots for Wendy. Me I don’t go for women with a moustache

  65. 65
    Gansher says:

    i dislike the non-patricidial one more than the othe rone.

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