June 11th, 2011

Deathbed Denunciation Means John Edwards Faces 30 Years

Vicky Pryce is nothing compared to Elisabeth Edwards in the scorned woman stakes. As Elisabeth lay dying from cancer she recorded a deathbed denunciation of her adulterous husband John Edwards, the Democratic vice-presidential running mate of John Kerry. Edwards diverted funds from his campaign to his mistress. America’s only paper worth reading, The National Inquirer, has the scoop:

…in a devastating act of ultimate revenge, a dying Elizabeth Ed­wards recorded a bombshell secret videotape for prosecutors – nailing her cheating husband John as he will stand trial on charges that could land him behind bars for 30 years.

That’s the stunning secret behind the federal indictment brought against the disgraced former presidential candi­date on June 3 -– following a two-year grand jury investigation into whether he illegally used campaign funds to cover up his affair with his then-pregnant mistress Rielle Hunter.

Serial adulterer Chris Huhne, like John Edwards, paraded his family at election time and also paid his mistress Carina Trimingham out of campaign funds when she worked on his leadership campaign. Vicky should take her lead from Elisabeth Edwards’ courage and thoroughly avenge her humiliation…


  1. 1
    Political entertainment says:

    This is a fabulously entertaining time in politics. Edwards facing prison, Labour in civil war, and Huhne in deep shit. Pass the popcorn and coke, it’s gonna be a laugh.

    • 5
      • 16
        AC1 says:

        Anyone else read Fallen Angels by Larry Niven???

        It’s about Earth entering an ice-age ran by a hypocritical green stasi to prevent warming….


        • 408
          David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

          it is about getting more tax from people under a green banner. 20% of your energy bill is taken by the government for its obligation on the climate. THE GOVERNMENT cowardly hides behind energy companies to let them take the blame. This means we are subsidising the useless building of wind farms that are owned by private companies. Our hard earned tax should not be used to support private companies.

          McClegg is crowing about his success about bringing changes to the NHS reforms, he seems to forget his main failure of lying and going back on what he says. He gave total support for the original plan and, true to form, has gone back on what he said. He has a warped sense of success- good double crosser perhaps? If he wants to save money start with his office of DPM. 3£70,000 spent on SPADS so he can go home early each day and do half a day on a Friday. He is a complete waste of space and a man clearly not up to the job. No idea of how people are affected by he cuts.

      • 21
        annette curton says:

        They are struggling to distinguish the difference between a Hot Tap and Cold Tap despite the fact they are clearly marked, maybe we will now get an interlude of Mixer Tap… Luke Warming.

        • 406
          Archie says:

          And speaking of windmills, why are mixer taps virtually unheard of here? In North America they’re de rigeur. Great things, they are!

      • 156

        “Danger, danger Will Robinson”, said the Conservatroid robot, “the Coalition is in danger. Must politically assassinate Huhne”

        • 228
          hava nagila says:

          Why would anyone need to assassinate Huhne when he’s already voluntarily committing suicide?

      • 183
        I am not a free man, I am a number says:

        Melting glaciers: global warming.

        Snow in Wales in June: climate change.

        It’s irrefutable.

    • 67
      Marring Maniac Hit says:

      Isn’t there another word for paid for mistresses?

    • 107
      and a conservative is trying to ra*e says:

      After closing time, the pair and the second man went back to Mr Bridgen’s flat in Westminster to discuss politics. It was there that the alleged groping incident happened.
      The woman claims that the former Royal Marines officer touched her breasts and tried to put his hand up her skirt shortly after they arrived at the property.
      A key witness in the case is a blind civil servant who went back to the flat with the pair. Sources said he was with them at all times.

    • 140
      Nemo says:

      Don’t forget Andrew Bridgen of the Cons, makes you wonder what is lurking under the rotten wood pile

    • 333
      Errr..... says:

      Not forgetting the congressman sending piccies of his boner to all and sundry.

  2. 2
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I knew it was Hunt!!!!!

    Meanwhile, Labourlost attack Dan Hannan as Lazy (no mention of Gordon brown tho)


    • 4
      K94QR says:

      Woh you reading that shite for?

      • 10
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        i know, Its gone down hill since Dolly left, Just like to see the hate from the left every now and then.

        • 123
          Ampers says:

          Can’t agree more, the louder they scream, the more smug I become ;-)

          • Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

            They are starting to sound very desperate. Mark Ferguson appears to have lost the plot over the last couple of days.

        • 143
          Nemo says:

          Billy so does Guido, judging by the “Guido Reads “list

    • 115
      Anonymous says:

      Sarah Palin sought advice from an unusual source when she was deliberating over how to frame the Alaskan state budget in 2008 – she called on God for guidance, according to emails released under freedom of information.

      In an email written in March 2008 she said that she had been praying for direction over the financial negotiations. “I have been praying for wisdom on this … God will have to show me what to do on the people’s budget because I don’t yet know the right path … He will show me though.”

      • 125
        Moses says:

        Seems perfectly sensible approach to me.
        God has a lot of experience at running much larger areas than even the state of Alaska.

        • 136
          Major Paddy says:

          And of course balls and brown just applied their ego’s to the financial conundrum and wow was that a success-not

      • 145
        Nemo says:

        So did Dubya and B’Liar or so they would have us believe

      • 155
        Sir William Waad says:

        I expect Gladstone did the same.

      • 255
        Colin the Meek says:

        If she’d been swarthy and a bit muslamic this would have passed without comment.

      • 307
        Jamie Hyneman says:

        She has got God’s e-mail address? I bet Obongo does not.

      • 329
        Robert Gabriel Mugabe's Aching Prostate says:

        Which more sense than ringing Volvo Man @ No 10.

      • 398
        Canterbury bloke in a frock says:

        Nobody voted for it.

  3. 3
    Selohesra says:

    I think asking Vicky to sacrifice her life in order to make a deathbed confession is a bit strong even for you Guido

    • 13
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Nowt wrong with taking one for the team. :-)

      • 285
        Lord Fondlebum says:

        As I am always willing to do – I’m even happy to take more than one from the whole team.

    • 32
      Sir William Waad says:

      I can’t understand why any sane man would want to throw over somebody like Vicky Pryce. How many chaps get the chance to marry such an eminent, respected and successful person? If Huhne had had any sense he would have looked at himself in the bathroom mirror every morning and said “Chris, whatever you do today, you are not, repeat NOT, going to goof things up with Vicky.” (I do this in relation to dear Lady Waad – soppy but true).

      How can such a chump be put in charge of anything?

      • 127
        Moses says:

        And look at that smirk on her face, it’s just tellng you
        “Get it here big boy…”

        ( several tablets later….)

        Anyway my particular hobby horse, with which I bore people constantly is that pillock who is MP for Bexhill and Minister for Global Warming under Huhne.
        Not only did he chuck over his wife for another MAN, but HER DADDY owns Charles Wells Brewery, who make Bombardier.

        MPs eh ? Hanging’s too good for ‘em.

        • 141
          Major Paddy says:

          The man is clearly deranged,passed up a brewery for a bumboy! pah
          I should have jenkins thrash the bounder,bring the cad to his senses,Navy manouvers is not a career its a stop gap solution only

          • Nemo says:

            Major, you could tell him to kiss the gunners daughter, and teach him with a well placed ram rod

          • smoggie says:

            If a man would lie to, and cheat on, his own wife what kind of contempt does he hold the rest of us muggles in? Scumbag.

            He is not fit to wipe anyone’s arse.

        • 148
          Maximus says:

          Inhaling the wrong bush

  4. 6
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    There was a show on FNC last night 10pm (uk time) they did an hour special on sex scandels in US politics (Hosted by Greta Van thing ma jig) .

    what is it about politicons and sex? Apart from screwing tax payers they screw anything with a pulse (Same sex/oppo sex) uselly when married, is it the power that makes em do it? same as Rock stars and groupies? Or is it because that have a pig ugly other half? Or is it because they are fuckin pervs?

    Maybe politicons should be crastraited when the get elected?

    • 24
      Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:

      Billy, you need Balls to be Liebour leader.

    • 27

      Greta van Susteren. Was definitely totty watch in the times of O J Simpson trial.

    • 33
      Sir William Waad says:

      As Matthew Parris pointed out in the Speccie recently, it’s because the sort of people who have what it takes to become senior politicians are by nature egotistical, self-confident and believers in their own luck. Persuading somebody to vote for you (even though you don’t care tuppence for them and have nothing to offer) is much like persuading them into your bed (even though, ditto, and you are remarkably ugly).

    • 377
      Rufus T. Firefly says:

      The father of one current Liebour MP was mayor in the 60′s of the constituency he represents. At his inauguration the father turned up with his wife and mistress, which in those more staid times caused a great degree of public outrage. Said mayor also p****d his way through his “entertainment allowance” in 6 weeks.

  5. 7
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m an Aston Martin.

  6. 8
    Charles says:

    I don’t know about the National Enquirer being the only American paper worth reading. Just about any American is good to read if you want a laugh, they’re so insular their foreign and world sections are only dusted off to cover a President’s foreign visit or the latest news from the front line in Afghanistan.

    • 18
      The American Press says:

      Is Princess Diana still queen of Ingerland, in Russia?

      Is she like a real Roman Emperor, or just married to one?

      • 20
        Ronald Reagan says:

        I welcome Princess David.

        • 36

          “I am so looking forward to visiting England, I have not been to the South Seas for ages.”

          Joking aside, that is what made him a great president and rightly loved by the American people. To a great extent, he kept his hands firmly off the levers cp. Brown, who could not keep his hands off any of them.

      • 90
        Kindalingers says:

        shes in a box on an island in the middle of a lake at Althorp ..you know the place where the arrogant scumbag brother lives ….unless of course it was all a ghastly mistake and Doris Lookalike got it in the tunnel with the Dodo so Di could slip off and roger another crown.

    • 380
      Rufus T. Firefly says:

      I was’nt aware that Americans could read. I thought they took as gospel everything that they saw on T.V.

    • 415
      Captain Harry Hewitt says:


  7. 9
    K94QR says:

    Edwards will just make the usual tearful yank “it was inappropriate” apology.

  8. 11
    Mark Pack says:

    Leave it! Will you stupid idiot right-winger`s leave Huhne alone? He is working on very important climate change issue`s.

    Your all thick.

  9. 14
    w j says:

    Sorry to bring the party to an end, but there’s no way somebody’s video messages – presumably with a system full of toxic drugs – is going to be of any value in court.

    • 19
      Bill d'Sarse says:

      I agree, but it’s a great starting point for an investigation that would uncover further incriminating evidence.

    • 22

      Facts. Pesky little buggers. All you need are the signposts to where they are buried and then, hey presto, you have a case. People may die but facts don’t.

    • 29
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      A dying declaration is an exception to the hearsay rule, which prohibits introducing evidence of out-of-court statements made by unavailable witnesses. The Federal Rules of Evidence have relaxed the common law standards for dying declarations and require the following conditions be met before introducing a dying declaration into evidence:

      Awareness of imminent death: The declarant must, at the time he made his statement, believe that his death is imminent

      • 40

        We accept that as a dying statement. Devoid of spelling mistakes and using correct grammar, you cannot be Billy and must face the ultimate punishment.

        • 44
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          Nah, I googled it :-)

          • Mmmm. CopyPasta. You won’t get your masters that way … What am I talking about? – Nowadays, you probably will!

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            i very rarely do it, But wanted to clarify the law for the poster that said was no good, Just trying to Help :-)

          • Dr Sir William Bowden Bt GCMG GCVO Kt QC JP PhD (Oxon)

            Sounds rather good, doesn’t it?

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            does it mean i can flip burgers now? :-)

          • Well, the Most Distinguished Order of Saint Michael and Saint George has the following ranks:
            CMG = Call Me God
            KCMG = Kindly Call Me God
            GCMG = God Calls Me God

            I should imagine that the answer to your questions is yes, providing you take all those medals off first, as Health and Safety won’t like them.

          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            No fun then , I wanna show off me medals lol

          • smoggie says:

            Unless you’re prowling the Heath, keep your medals under wraps, Bill.

          • Nemo says:

            Billy, you sound like royalty they get get medals for being royalty, would not go with your white coat and would put a strain on your back when you bent down.

          • I am not a free man, I am a number says:

            Note to Mr Cat: Oxford doesn’t award PhDs.

          • I know that Mr number, it was the first thing they taught us at borstal.

            But Billy is not quite ready to attempt his Magna Cum Laude yet and he would accept nothing less, I am sure.

      • 41
        Anonymous says:

        It may or may not be strong evidence but it certainly is enough to give investigators “reasonable suspicion” or “just cause” which gives them the green light to go over the books. Just Follow the money.

      • 94
        I says:

        This has all the hallmarks of a copy-and-paste. No speling mistakes. Otherwise it’s not Billy

        • 120
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          I admit it up the thread, I googled it and brought it over, so i didnt get it wrong.

      • 130
        Moses says:

        Revenge is a dish best served cold.

        Especially in this case: as well as being a bit stiff.

  10. 17
    Sugar with jizz says:

    There’s a place in Syria called Jizzer al-sugar? Sorry, not making light of the situation but it’s a funny name.

  11. 28
    Edwards deserves to rot in prison says:

    Edwards is even more of a c unt than I thought. I just read up on his affair on Wiki and he apparently promised his mistress that after his wife died they’d have a rooftop wedding with the Dave Matthews Band playing for them. This man is beyond reprehensible.

  12. 35
    Getting restless with Ed Milimong's piss poor performance? says:
    • 37
      Tony Blair says:

      “Tony Blair still has so much to offer our Party.”

      Yeah, about thirty million quid, but you’re not getting it.

    • 42

      We all owe a massive debt because the c**t let Gordon cook the freakin’ books.

    • 45
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      In other words. “Ed and Gordon were shit and losers at least Tony won 3 genral elections”

      • 51
        Labour's reward for failure says:

        The three people most responsible for Labour being kicked out of government, Brown, Balls and Miliband (the latter did write the manifesto).

        Today, Brown gets full pay+expenses to not do any work, and Balls and Miliband get to the run the party.

      • 83
        Eamonn U Ensis says:

        True…but Blair WAS up against a totally useless opposition and let’s not forget that although Brown was one of if not the worst PM in modern times “Dave” still couldn’t manage to get an overall majority which rather sums up exactly why the Coalition is in such a fucking mess over policy and flip-flopping all over the shop with “clunkers” like the “Big Society” that nobody including “Dave” know what the fuck it’s all about….still we’d better stick another couple of billion to India for their manned flight to Mars initiative whilst the UK can’t even manage to fill in the bloody potholes or manage weekly rubbish collections……..so talking about shit government and losers I think the present bunch aren’t much better it’s only because Labour are in a worse mess that “Dave’s” managing to blag his way through the morass

        • 172
          Major Paddy says:

          You must give credit for that failure to the BBC,they gave the tories a hard ride and gave the lib dems a huge fillip by more or less saying they were a credible left of centre vote,this split the vote three ways allowing a coalition to become the only viable option.since the election the BBC have continued on this line of attack with all coverage of conservative policy headlined in a negative light with even that arsebishop weighing in with the populist line on wednesday
          The taxpaying public arent fooled though,labour are nothing but the political wing of the BBC/Public sector/NHS all with a vested interest in high spend/high borrow/high tax policy,the lib dems are a bunch of disloyal pricks with no policy other than labours,the tories are hog-tied in coalition with a bunch of immature student politicians and would probably collapse the government and win an outright majority now but it would damage the country irreversibly

        • 174
          Nemo says:

          They could have an eminant englishman in their little rocket one Tony B’Liar, I am sure he would jump at the opportunity, he could make it a joint venture with Cheri

        • 241
          Hadycock, Immigrants best friend, and best friend of George says:

          I believe in Unrestricted Immigration, as does my Party, the Liberal Democrats. This is the way ahead.

    • 49
      annoying mouse says:

      -s include trillion pounds of debt and hundreds of thousands killed in Iraq, the +s are he treated Caroline less like window dressing than McMong did

      • 200
        GORDON BROWN says:

        he probably treated her tp “A Portion” as he did with Carol Caplin

    • 50
      Where there is a will says:

      As a token of our respect we should present Blair with a framed copy of his expense claim sheets. They should be easily obtainable from the hard drive used by the fees office. In cases where the originals have been destroyed or missing Such copies are admissible in evidence simply by having them certified as being genuine copies obtained from said hard drive.
      There should be no problem in using them as evidence if need be.
      Question is, is there the will ?

    • 57
      T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

      Am busy looking for those Weapons of Mass Destruction whilst actively bringing harmony and calm in my role as Middle E@st Pe@ce Envoy.

    • 63
      Mornington Crescent says:

      “We all owe a massive debt…”

      Too fucking right we do, love – sixty five billion notes and rising at the last count.

    • 74
      Gordon Brown says:

      That is just window dressing ..and I should know as I am Nicholas Seymour!

    • 80
      annette curton says:

      Groan! foot in mouth disease again, these people are so thick they should be supervised at all times when at a keyboard or any other input device – send this memo to all Labourlist tweeters asap.

    • 197
      Red Totty says:

      I’d fuck her!

    • 331
      Observer says:

      Is Caroline Flint saying “Bring back Tony”?

      • 376
        Anonymous says:

        No, she is saying Tony was great Gordon was fawking awful !

      • 400
        Forrest Gump-Ed says:

        I do not have a brother called Dave. I really like Balls (not) and chocolate bars. Did you know that I can play with my toy with one hand. Justhhhine….

    • 413
      Financier Toll says:

      becomes I Finance Troll

  13. 47
    Rt Hon Gordon Brown, Member of Parliament for Killkiddies and Cowdungbeef says:

    Mummy won’t let me have any fizzy orange. She says it gets me overexcited and hyperactive. Not fair. I think mummy’s a bigot. She said I can only have fizzy orange when I learn to wipe my own bot bot. Bigoty bitch.

    • 179
      Nemo says:

      Any more of those trantrums Gordon it will be an extra large dose of castor oil, and sent to bed and not sky tv or any other tv, until you can speak nicely and politely

  14. 58

    May well not be admissible in court, on basic (good) rules of evidence – can’t cross-examine a dead person.

    • 64
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Nope see further up.

      A dying declaration is an exception to the hearsay rule, which prohibits introducing evidence of out-of-court statements made by unavailable witnesses. The Federal Rules of Evidence have relaxed the common law standards for dying declarations and require the following conditions be met before introducing a dying declaration into evidence:

      Awareness of imminent death: The declarant must, at the time he made his statement, believe that his death is imminent

      • 71
        Tomas de Torquemada says:

        Isn’t this all about making confessions beaten out of people admissible in court ? A water-boarder’s charter, surely ?

        • 75
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          tis the current law in the USA on dying declarations.

          Nowt to dowith Gitmo as USA law doesnt extend there i think (well not to the prisoners)

    • 149
      Cynical Old Man says:

      A deathbed statement, given by a person who knows they are about to die, IS admissible in court. The legal system deems that a person who knows they are dying is unlikely to be telling lies and is therefore cannot be challenged by counsel.

      • 177
        Major Paddy says:

        Would that include someone who perchance were on their knee’s in front of martin mc guinness (ex-minister for eduacation NI etc) absolving him of any involvement in their soon to occur demise-just askin

  15. 59
    nell says:

    Wife’s deathbed denunciation leaves edwards facing 30 years behind bars.

    A pity cherie can’t do the same for bliar isn’t it?

  16. 79
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m a Lexus.

  17. 88
    gildedtumbril says:

    I believe revenge and retribution are sacraments to be discharged with all possible vigour. Thus, I am always delighted to hear of those who expound ‘family values’ while being randy bastards. It is a delight to see them hoist on their own petards.
    Seems reasonable.

  18. 102
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am Andy Murray

  19. 103
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m 100th! I’m a Rolls Royce!

  20. 108
    Prince Edward Theatre says:

    Anyone see me on Trooping the Colour earlier? I had on the dressing-up uniform and medals that Mummy gave me.

  21. 111
    GORDON BROWN says:

    I think it is disgusting that Dan Hannan is neglecting his duty as an MEP
    i myself have attended parliament on at least two occasions in just the last thirteen months
    whilst David Milliband has attended at least four times !

    Now can i have my job back ? you need a strong leader at this difficult time

    • 117

      Daily Telegraph on the phone again Gordon. They want your take on the Dave Miliband speech story.
      Do you want me tell them you’re still in the bog or do you want to make a statement?

  22. 118
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    HO HO HO hO

    someone get pOlly a nurse!!!!!


    • 122
      nell says:


      poor pollytwaddle “labour are harmonious “…. bullyballs assertions that “coalition cuts are too far too fast are beginning to rattle the government”…..”the coalition is full of friction and the libdems are in their death throes”!!!!!

      The poor woman is quite mad. bullyballs is struggling to rattle his own cage and as for death throes well he doesn’t need to look any further than militwit and himself; political annihiliation is not too far down the road for them.

      As for pollytwaddle herself, I hear she’s being offered a guestspot in Fortune Tellers Weekly. Perhaps she’ll have better luck forecasting the future for them.

      • 133
        Anon says:

        She thinks the cuts are “too far and too fast”, whereas the IMF don’t.

        She’s a smart lady. Why doesn’t she apply for the top IMF job?

    • 135
      Tessa Tickles says:

      “Labour’s two frontbench heavy-hitters – Ed Miliband and Ed Balls “

      Ed Miliband? Heavy hitter? What colour’s the sky on Polly’s planet?

      • 168
        Sir William Waad says:

        They are indeed Labour’s two heavy-hitters, just as one might speak of Bulgaria’s two top pace bowlers.

  23. 124
    GORDON BROWN says:

    Why do you tories insist on calling me “Dick Head” ?


    • 132
      Aunt Hilda says:

      just read in the Ft article that last week’s Labourlist poll Ed Balls was voted the most popular frontbencher (among Labour supporters) with 77 per cent thinking he is doing a good or excellent job, against 41 per cent for Miliband.

      Am struggling to work out exactly what Balls is doing ‘jobwise’ …spluttering and talking the same old crap but achieving what ?

      • 147
        Tessa Tickles says:

        I think the typical Labour-voter is just impressed at Balls’s ability to stand up and talk at the same time, without having to hold on to anything. In their eyes it bestows on him an almost magical, godlike quality.

        Wait till they find out he has opposable thumbs, and doesn’t just look at the pictures in newspapers, but he can read the words, too.

  24. 126
    question says:

    Sorry, utterly o/t, however… A relative just left me £50k in part of their will. The cheque has just cleared. I am thinking about buying a KG of gold (~ £30K). Maybe 50/50 gold and silver.

    Am I nuts?

  25. 142
    Neil Boyo Kinnock says:

    Well all right! I’ve got my party back! Well all right!

  26. 144
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Prompted by Guido’s tweet, I see that Silly Sally is, fittingly enough, on the Slut Walk:

    Perhaps her own placard is saying “It’s a sheet – ain’t I sweet?”

    • 295
      Major Paddy says:

      They said irony was dead when kissinger got the Nobel Peace Prize but fuck it the slutwalkees take some understanding,to that bint in the “slimming black” leggings,not every woman who pulls on a dress is gagging for physical pleasure granted,neither do normal men EVER rape anyone,however having said that,there are a huge number of mentally ill men of all ages out on the streets in this country,in fact most sane employable men avoid through their car/taxi even setting foot on the street.this would statistically increase the likelyhood of whoever you meet late at night on an inner city stagger having some personality trait which may make them feel angry/inferior/violent towards womankind.its not a gender thing,its not a political thing its about taking responsibility for Yourself
      AND do bear in mind that almost an entire generation have obliterated most of their minds with super strength skunk because a previous government wanted to show the kids they were cool and sent out all the wrong messages about being responsible and avoiding shit

    • 318
      Richard says:

      Sally Bercow | SallyBercow

      . @GuidoFawkes great shame I didn’t think to do this (& full credit to the woman who did!)…. #slutwalk

      To a picture of a woman with hated by the Daily Mail written above her cleavage.

      I think it is because everyone Sally knows is too thick to have written the slogan.

  27. 159
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m Bruce Forsyth. Just call me sirHunt

    • 319
      Sarah, Canterbury says:

      My hero the huhnerable Member of Parliament for somewhere in backward och aye the noooooo Jockeland

      • 335
        The stupidity and ignorance of the inglish is breathtaking says:

        Magda is inglish you thick inglish c unt !

      • 389
        Rufus T. Firefly says:

        No dear you’ve spelled it incorrectly. It should be Jokeland.

  28. 161

    No, but where is the Chancellor of the Exchequer in his official capacity in which he is empowered by the people – to whom he is therefore answerable. He wouldn’t be in a secret location getting instructions from his paymasters regarding the fraud perpetrated upon the British whereby their wealth is switched with the bad debt of global financiers, would he? Good, because we’d expect to hear all about it seeing as we are the boss.

    Or we could just live in a fantasy land in which we think Gordon Brown is still to blame for our ills.

    • 173
      Sir William Waad says:

      I think Bilderberg is no more than a kind of WI for the top nobs, where they can set the world to rights over tea and bickies without having to produce some tedious Report or Communique, or being expected to Solve The Problem Of Whatever. Notice that there is no in-fighting and the seleciton of people is fairly random – Dutch royalty, for instance (brainier than ours). This implies that it doesn’t have any power.

    • 184
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      See 2nd to last post.

    • 202
      Aunt Hilda says:

      As presiding chancellor/PM for 13 years the current ‘financial woes department’ is struggling to find another culprit…the gutless moron spent 13 years shafting us and at least half of those buggering about with the two eds to dethrone slotgob’s mucker.

      Having conjured the new labour tag up with the Tony and the Slimester extraordinaire Mandelson under the dreaming spires of uni brown has been subsequently shown to be just the bag carrier as he is devoid of original thinking or talent…… he couldn’t even come up with a basic plan after he entered No 10 having spent years putting pins in blair and his cronies for what quite clearly was personal revenge.

      Limp meaningless repeated policy objectives meant nothing in reality other than throw millions at it…usually billions…announce it two or three times…and if all else fails give way to expediency at the first sign of a suitable opportunity or bumble on like a moron on acid dispensing the public purse to breaking point suitably aided by one ed balls.

      Frankly I think most people blame brown and his coterie for quite a lot really.

  29. 166
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ve never cheated on my wife.

  30. 167
    Gordon Brown says:

    Chris Huhne is my love child by Jordan

  31. 169
    Let's have a competition says:

    Name a sane politition ( sic Billy) . A live one.

  32. 176
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am, therefore I don’t think

  33. 178
    If only there was a god ( small 'g' ) because there isn't a big one says:

    Deathbed Denunciation Means Tony B liar Faces 30 Years

  34. 190
    Archbishop Rowan Williams says:

    UK aid cash helped African dictator buy himself a £30m jet.

    So what……he’s poor and black

  35. 195
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m a BMX.

  36. 196
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Perv Ali campballs

    campbellclaret Hyde Park corner naked bike ride. Some remarkable bodies on show. I mean remarkable. And remarkable http://yfrog.com/kll0ewj about 1 minute ago

  37. 207
    Tom Watson says:

    Lily Allen has married. Boo hoo. The dream is over.

    • 215
      Jack Powers says:

      I hope the lucky guy gives her a damn good seeing to and drills her arse to the floor. The fucking spoiled stuck up shampoo socialist pinko bitch needs taking down and shown the true joys of subserviant womanhood.

      Where’s me pipe!

      • 323
        the next Mr Katona says:

        I hope it all goes wrong and she is devestated by it….then she will have suffered 1/1000th of the misery her pathetic utterings about politics have caused me.

        Spoiled little hypocritical leftie fucker. I’m not a fan.

  38. 210
    Chris Huhne says:

    Paddy and Murphy went to London today to donate sperm.
    Turned out a disaster.
    Paddy missed the tube and Murphy came on the bus.

    • 216
      Jack Powers says:

      It’s London 2011, so try Kombaburu & Muhammed next time.

    • 235
      DAVE call me billy nah mates CAMERON says:

      Paddy goes for a job at the chemical factory
      the boss says “paddy ,tell me what you know about nitrates” ?
      He says “I tink iT’s a couple of quid more dan de day rates sir”

      • 244
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        Paddy and Murphy sat talking in a pub
        Paddy says : If i won the lottery i would give you half Murphy !
        Murphy says : Why is that ?
        Paddy: Because you are my friend !
        Murphy: What about if you had two houses ?
        Paddy : If i had two houses ,I would give you one !
        Murphy : What about if you had two cars ?
        Paddy : If i had two cars ,I would give you one !
        Murphy :What about if you had two horses ?
        Paddy : If i had two horses, I would give you one !
        Murphy : What if you had two chickens ?
        Paddy : Now Fuck Off ! You know i have two chickens !

  39. 212
    smoggie says:

    I know this is completely off topic (or is it?) but I’m watching this vampire film, and like every other vampire film ever made, the human vampire hunters always turn up to the vampires’ lair looking for vampires half an hour before sunset.

    Just as they find out where the vampire lies, guess what? The sun sinks behind the tower.

    • 213
      nell says:

      Sounds to me smoggie as if you’ve been reading too much about that horror story called the the Volvo Project.

      You need to get out and about in the fresh air otherwise you are going to have nightmares tonight.

    • 232
      Bloodsuckers (no, not Labour or the unions) says:

      Which vampire film? Is it Blade or Near Dark?

      • 242
        smoggie says:

        It’s Priest but somehow they managed to fight their way out. But they push the boundaries of credibility killing four vampires a karate chop. Can’t be done.

    • 237
      Van Helsing's wee brother says:

      I know. If it was up to me I would be heading out early in the morning, stake Dracula for elevenses, BBQ lunch and a hell of a boose-up that evening.

  40. 219
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m the Millennium Falcon.

  41. 222
    The Labour Party should do one. says:

    When it comes to the Huhnes I have no sympathy for either Huhne or Pryce. A couple of self serving, money grubbing dullards.

  42. 227
    Larry The Cat says:

    Where’s my lunch?

  43. 229
    DAVE call me billy nah mates CAMERON says:

    I have to buy friends thats why over seas aid must keep rising


  44. 234
    nell says:


    I see our tone is after after a new job – the first elected president of europe.

    Since gordon has now lost the imf job the odds are that he’s going to be shamelessly chasing the job of EU community finance minister (which will no doubt pay him as much as the worthless baronessashton is paid for the eu foreign minister job)

    Anyway what it’ll mean is that the old bliar/bullybrown partnership is renewed at eu level. What fun!!

    • 252
      Bill de Burgher says:

      ‘I will have no truck with a European superstate.’
      That was a good one, Tone. Oh, how we laughed !

    • 259
      Bill deBurgher says:

      ‘I That
      will was
      have a
      no good
      truck one
      with Tone
      a Oh
      European how
      superstate.’ we
      laughed !

  45. 243
    I says:

    I go away to water my ferns and I get a thumbs up.

  46. 247
    Lou Scannon says:

    Dear Guido

    Your readers are quite capable of making up their own minds as to the virtue of individual comments.



  47. 253
    Gordon Brown says:

    Me Volvo, Blair Austin Seven

    President of Europe, small fry.

    I saved the World

  48. 257
    thumbs says:

    Is the recent addition of a crappy rating system the reason why it took the page around 25 seconds to load rather than the usual 2 or 3?

    What is this shit you have inflicted?

    • 303
      Major Paddy says:

      at the top hit the blue comment box with cursor,three rapid clicks updates it,nothing else works

    • 315
      annette curton says:

      Yeah, strange ghosts in the machine, I think I now prefer A/V to first past the post after all (for Bloggs).

  49. 258
    Sir Bruce Forsyth-Brown says:

    I am a Comedian

    • 391
      Rufus T. Firefly says:

      Trading Standards should shut you down for trading under false pretenses. Entertainer!!! My arse. Being kicked in the nuts by a size 10 steel toe-capped boot is less painful than watching you.

  50. 260
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Bloody hell Guido, I know you like trying things on here (Logging in) , but it works ok as it was , But I dunno , See what other readers say and its you Blog anyway :-)

    Like this comment if you think i should win the caption contest!!!! :-)

  51. 262
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    At least give it week !

  52. 267
    thumbs says:

    Time to add polldaddy.com to the list of domains NoScript blocks.

    Jesus Christ, have you no shame?

  53. 268
    Mavis Dillyband says:

    presumably they would have to dig her up to cross examine

  54. 269
    nell says:

    Well went to get ready to go out to dinner, sat down to have a quick look at the blog before we go out the door and find all these funny thumb things everywhere!!

    Looks like fun but what’s the purpose? And what does the i (information) button show? When I press it it shows lots of comments but whose are they?

    • 274
      wtf! says:

      A load of old shit… guess the host has some shares in the crappy polldaddy idiocy.

    • 279
      Lou Scannon says:

      Looks like a portal to another dimension. Unfortunately, they seem to be plagued by the same sort of arseholes as we are in this one.

  55. 273
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    So the jock twat did try jogging once
    look at the fuckin state of that


  56. 276
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Has everybody got the thumbs up thumbs down thingies at the bottom of their posts ?
    where did they come from ?

    • 277
      wtf! says:

      Add polldaddy.com to the list of domains your friendly and essential NoScript add-on blocks.

    • 280
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Its a experiment by our esteamed host(Like the logging on one a few months ago0

    • 283
      Thumbelina says:

      If my fairy memory serves me well, Guido tried the thumbs business on 25th October 2009. It lasted about a couple of hours before they all disappeared as mysteriously as they arrived, and his webpages stopped jumping around when they loaded.

      Everyone in fairyland heaved a sigh of relief.

      Wonder how long we have to put up with them this time, seeing as they still haven’t fixed the jerking problem?

  57. 281
    Jumbo says:

    SERIAL adulter Huhne, Guido? Tell us more!

  58. 282
  59. 296
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Ed is doomed , doomed i tell ya

    half a minute ago: “Observer quotes Lab SpAd “If Ed has got this plan, we need to see it now. It is time for him to show us why we are coming to work every day””

  60. 314
    Rielle Hunter says:

    He was shit anyway.

  61. 327
    Saturday night with the Bilderbergs says:

    What time are the strippers due on?

  62. 328
    Tachybaptus says:

    I just added a comment telling people with Windows and Google Chrome how to stop comments from popping up, and it got modded. Not sure why — because it included the word d*i*s*a*b*l*e?

    Anyway, right-click on your Chrome shortcut and, in the box marked ‘Target’, add to the end of the command:
    one space, two hyphens, the word ‘d*i*s*a*b*l*e’ (without the asterisks), one hyphen, and the word ‘javascript’

    Hope this gets through.

  63. 337
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Right so what are the BIG political stories for the weekend?

    1. Ed Testicles and Mcmong and their admission over wasteful spending.

    2. Testicles and the mong again over plotting against Blair whilst people died in the streets of London

    3. Red Ed’s failure and the unhappiness of the Liebore party with Red Ed

    4. Red Ed’s brother making it clear he’s not a happy bunny

    All stories to do with Liebore, but anyone want to take a bet with me that Marr won’t mention any of the above stories tomorrow? It will be about Tory cuts and Ken Clarke

    If Marr does bring up Liebore it will be spun as ‘old news’ or Prescott’s favourite of ‘Froth’

    • 338
      Order-Order Spokesman says:

      Paper review will touch on Ed and davd, And a Labour guest (if they have one) will go unchallenged as they spout of BS

    • 342
      nell says:

      Marr will be spinning that bullyballs is the next economic wonder of the world and edmilitwit is his bagman.

      Doesn’t mean we shall believe the beeb or him!

      Not much credibility left have they???!!!

  64. 339
    nell says:

    I think it is interesting how leftwing gordon machine gunned his way into the pm’s job and then when he got there he had no plan, no idea what to do with it. Result : utter shambles!

    militwit has conned his way into the labour leader’s job with the connivance of the unions. Now he’s in it , he has no plan, no idea what to do with it. Result : utter shambles.

    kinnochio hooting and shouting for the leftwing commies, on militwit’s ascendancy onto the labour leader’s throne said ‘ we’ve got our party back !!!’

    Well kinnochio what are you and your leftie comrades going to do with it now? Give it to the even more extreme leftie bullyballs??!!!

    Labour, the political titanic – sinking fast!

  65. 341
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    First they came for a blog……I said nothing…….


  66. 346
    Anonymous says:


    Slimeball Mandelson has been getting some back door action at the bilderberg

  67. 351
    Fucking hell says:

    What the FUCK has happened to this site? It used to be slow at the best of times, now it’s slower than a Tortoise pulling John Prescott up a hill.

  68. 352

    There is a confusion about what to do with ironical comments. If someone posts as Gordon Brown, talking of the wonders of post neo-classical endogenous growth theory still being our route to salvation, should we vote it up or down?

    If it were the spacker himself, we would certainly vote down. But we want to support someone who is showing him up for the c**t that he is – which means we should vote up. Perhaps an “irony” thumb is the answer…

    • 354
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Lets order a review into it then debate the findings before sending the findings out for consultation then when that comes back ask someone else to write a report on the consultation and debate it before putting the report about the findings of the consultation out for further consultation.

      • 356

        No! You can’t do that!!

        You have to go through Health and Safety first. Apply in quadruplicate with your cheque for £500. They will sit on it for six months and then move it to their in tray. After another 18 months, if you are lucky, you will get a questionnaire which asks you whether you were wearing suitable safety apparatus when applying. You send that back completed. Then it goes to committee where, after several meetings over another twelve months, they will decline the proposition on the grounds that all that clicking might well result in serious wrist injury.

        This ignores the basic fact that many of the posters, especially the males, have built up a total immunity to wrist strain since quite an early age. The centre for the Health and Safety section dealing with this area happens to be situated at Jodrell Bank.

        • 357
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          Ah , Fast track it, I see ;-)

          • David Blunket says:

            I didn’t use my position to have it fast tracked I asked them to treat it the same as all other applications but quicker !

    • 358

      Oh FFS! Now what’s going on?

      Bloggy ‘X’ Factor?

      • 363

        It does not happen on MailOnline where they use the same system. I think there are too many refresh commands at work here.

        As long as we don’t get a pop-up Cowell…

      • 364
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        Its ok Bill , Calm down dear, It will just be like the logging on lark, It will only last a week before it will be gone (as long as we moan about it :-)

  69. 355
    M-M-M-Mr Speaker says:

    Balls: Your Tory enemies?
    Brown: Project Daddy
    Balls: The search for your life-partner?
    Brown: Project Beard.
    Balls: They will love you, mein Führer.
    Brown: Ja, Edward. They will.

  70. 359
    Ed Balls, Shallow Chancer says:


    • 369
      Blue Labour out says:

      If Hannan had proper balls he’d resign from the Cons.

      He’s a tosser enjoying the limelight, but is worth very little.

  71. 361
    David Cameron says:

    Everybody, please settle down and be calm. It is only fair that the poor and disabled accept responsibility for the economic mess we find ourselves in as a great country, rich with tradition and selflessness.

    The poor and disabled are a burden to us as a government as we promise to endeavour to eliminate them all, as I have personally, in our efforts to rebuild a great and selfless nation.

    Somebody asked me the other day just how are the rich affected by all the economic turmoil. My quick answer was, they’re not.

    • 370
      Blue Labour out says:

      Why not ask your mates at the buggerburger conference. They have all the answers.

  72. 362
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Hey Lads and Ladies, The PM (Our Dave) has penned a piece for the Guardian on Forigen aid and defends it, Now as we all have to take part in the big society, I recomend us sharing our views and letting the PM know what we think of him throwing OUR money away


    Oh and there are no comments at the mo, but it is open for comments, But play nicely :-)

    • 366
      love and kisses says:

      Your comments are now on, for goodness sake Billy use a spell checker on that site or your message will be lost in the cloud of pedants that will now attack you.

      Ps Now waiting 30 seconds on a 16meg O2 broadband before I can read or make a comment with those bloody icons.

      • 367
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        dont panic Lad , Will play astraight bat :-)

  73. 372
    Voice of Treason says:

    All the fuss over some guy putting his dick somewhere else instead of inside his wife. What a trite world we live in. Does it really matter where any man puts his dick as long as it involves consent and is not a child?

  74. 374
    Doc Trough says:

    A small contingent of Bullwimmin was kettled for 12 hours on yesterday’s Slutwalk. Police have now lifted the kettle and returned placards – neatly relabelled ‘Fishmarch’ for reasons of olfactory accuracy.

  75. 381
    FFS ! says:

    Another C UNT who is “ill” after he got found out !

  76. 393

    Good morning. If you ever manage to get down here, the probability is that you will be considerably older than when you first clicked on the page.

    Since then:
    * The national debt has gone up by another trillion pounds.
    * Greece has defaulted. It now uses the diram, having joined the African Union.
    * The pound has sunk to 5 Euros. Only Ryan Giggs can afford to go abroad but then only as far as Calais.
    * Chris Huhne has collected a thousand more speeding fines but craftily changed his name by deed poll to Gatso resulting in all the fines and points being sent to the manufacturer.
    * Gordon Brown managed to get an international post as head of OPEC. The result is that petrol prices have fallen to under 10p a litre which has sparked off an economic boom – in China.
    * At the 2015 general election, the Labour party popular vote shrunk to 789 votes. Two hundred of these were cast by their new leader, Edward Balls. It was enough however, under the new voting system, for him to become Prime Minister.

  77. 394
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    A poll in the mirror says two thirds of people interviewed
    think the coalition will
    create a jobless generation !
    well i for one hope so
    ,as most mirror readers are in labour created non jobs !

  78. 403
    Lou Scannon says:

    Guido and Neo-Guido
    Get yout thumbs out of your collective arses and put this blog back how it should be.
    Juts because politicians are forever sinking to new lows that doesn’t mean that you have to follow suit.

  79. 404

    Gооd mоrnіng. Іf yоυ еvеr mаnаgе tо gеt dоwn hеrе, thе prоbаbіlіty іs thаt yоυ wіll bе cоnsіdеrаbly оldеr thаn whеn yоυ fіrst clіckеd оn thе pаgе.

    Sіncе thеn:
    * Thе nаtіоnаl dеbt hаs gоnе υp by аnоthеr trіllіоn pоυnds.
    * Grееcе hаs dеfаυltеd. Іt nоw υsеs thе dіrаm, hаvіng jоіnеd thе Аfrіcаn Υnіоn.
    * Thе pоυnd hаs sυnk tо 5 Еυrоs. Оnly Ryаn Gіggs cаn аffоrd tо gо аbrоаd bυt thеn оnly аs fаr аs Cаlаіs.
    * Chrіs Hυhnе hаs cоllеctеd а thоυsаnd mоrе spееdіng fіnеs bυt crаftіly chаngеd hіs nаmе by dееd pоll tо Gаtsо rеsυltіng іn аll thе fіnеs аnd pоіnts bеіng sеnt tо thе mаnυfаctυrеr.
    * Gоrdоn Brоwn mаnаgеd tо gеt аn іntеrnаtіоnаl pоst аs hеаd оf ОPЕC. Thе rеsυlt іs thаt pеtrоl prіcеs hаvе fаllеn tо υndеr 10p а lіtrе whіch hаs spаrkеd оff аn еcоnоmіc bооm – іn Chіnа.
    * Аt thе 2015 gеnеrаl еlеctіоn, thе Lаbоυr pаrty pоpυlаr vоtе shrυnk tо 789 vоtеs. Twо hυndrеd оf thеsе wеrе cаst by thеіr nеw lеаdеr, Еdwаrd Bаlls. Іt wаs еnоυgh hоwеvеr, υndеr thе nеw vоtіng systеm, fоr hіm tо bеcоmе Prіmе Mіnіstеr.

Seen Elsewhere

Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Labour’s Left and Right are Growing Restive | Staggers
Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Hungary’s Heir to Thatcher | Conservative Woman
Farage and Salmond Both Want Outopia | David Aaronovitch
More Missing UKIP Money | Times
Church Should Fight Evil of Welfare Dependency | Stephen Glover
1 in 16 Pick Up Infections in Filthy NHS Hospitals | Mail
Let’s Get Evangelical | David Cameron

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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