June 10th, 2011

Balls: Memos, Lies and Videotape

The Telegraph has published a cache of documents illuminating the internecine plotting of the Blair-Brown era. They literally have Ed Balls’ fingerprints all over them, hard evidence of what all of Westminster believes, that he was at the heart of the malign “forces of hell” which blighted New Labour. The Wednesday meetings of the Brownites were chaired by Balls in Downing Street to plot the downfall of both their internal and external enemies and ultimately Tony Blair. Balls has always denied the allegations, explicitly here to Andrew Neil who held his feet to the fire for five minutes during which Balls lies and lies:

Some will say this is a matter of only historical interest, they are wrong, the relevance to today is what it reveals about the character of Ed Balls, who still harbours the ambition to lead the Labour Party.

It is with some satisfaction that Guido notes references to the Smith Institute and its then boss Wilf Stevenson’s role in the plotting at the Wednesday meetings. All of which was denied at the time and resulted in Guido getting his own taste of the forces of hell unleashed from 11 Downing Street. Unfortunately for them Guido fought back and ultimately the Smith Institute was struck off by the Charity Commission and Damian McBride was fired. Browse the documents to see on paper Balls and the Brownites in all their cynical, malign, politically cancerous glory.


  1. 1
    Teacher says:

    Gordon cant spell

  2. 2
  3. 3
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The BBC are a total joke, firstly they are saying this is old news, but of course the BBC were part of the McMong denial machine when all this was actually going on.

    And I notice the BBC have ignored the plotting that took place on 7/7, the day hundreds of Londoners lay dead or injured in the streets, from the BBC zzzzzzzzzzz

  4. 4
    Backwoodsman says:

    but, but, the bbc told me there was nothing to see here and to move along.

  5. 5
    Another Crap Scot's Politician says:

    Balls is really a Scot at heart. Back stabbing, two faced, self serving……….

  6. 6
    Gus O'Donnell says:

    “Some will say this is a matter of only historical interest, they are wrong, the relevance to today is what it reveals about the character of Michael Gove,who’s Department leaked the documents and who still harbours the ambition to lead the Conservative Party.”

    This clearly diverts attention away from the “phone hacking” news earlier this week.

  7. 7
    rotten cripple says:


  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Portillo’s face is a picture.. grinning and guffawing

  9. 9
    NeverRed says:

    Or attend parliament (on behalf of his electorate)

  10. 10
    NeverRed says:

    And all the rest of the labour jock twats.

  11. 11
    Bruce Wayne says:

    No one does hypocrisy like the left and no one does treachery like the left.

  12. 12
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    But why now?
    Seems a badly timed bomb.

  13. 13
    Phantom says:

    Having read the Torygraph this morning, they have put a bomb under the Labour Party and set it off.

    I sincerely hope, like recalcitrant monkeys, they start throwing their faeces at each other again and make themselves wholly unelectable.

    As for the BBC, it’s a busted flush, considering that whilst this was going on, Britain was under terrorist attack and the Blair v Brown nexus was also heavily featured. I notice that the BBC came down then heavily in the Brown camp too. All it would take is for someone to run the tapes and examine the BBC line to expose this shysters for what they really are.

    As for the coalition, this is an opportunity to show Labour as completely fractured and unworthy of office. Calls for Balls to resign as a proven liar must be hard to ignore.

  14. 14
    Blinky is a fucking evil cunt says:

    I truly and sincerely hope Balls gets the most agonising form of cancer possible and dies a slow, lingering and painful death.

  15. 15
    Octavius Tinsworth Ace says:

    If this is Red Ed’s handiwork, spectacular o.g. I would say. Could it be the delightful Yvette with a scorched earth policy?

  16. 16
    Dazza says:

    Fucking busted!

    ‘And that was wrong too!’… The whole world is wrong!

  17. 17
    Dick the Prick says:

    Start of the silly season – don’t want MPs getting ideas over summer.

  18. 18
    Gus O'Donnell says:

    This leak has all the footprints of Chris Huhne.

    “The investigation will raise questions about whether the new government was involved in the leaking of the papers.”

  19. 19
    I'm lovin' it (not McDonald's) says:

    Once again, the evil ZaNew Liebore rabble deliver top notch entertainment.

  20. 20
    Archbishop Rowan Williams says:

    For all their manifold sins, I give the following Labour politicians absolution, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, Ed balls, Harriet Harman….ah bollox, this list is going to go on forever.

  21. 21
    They're all the same says:

    Shitbags all, for sure, but its significance is what exactly?

  22. 22
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Thinking about it : he’s been on TV a lot complaining (/bullshitting). To be nice to him thats more or less standard party political bollocks, but if people come to see the economy on its way back onto the rails, it will be more and more of a liability.

    So who benefits? Who DOESNT benefit from any efforts to shut balls up?

  23. 23
    nell says:

    Good Man Portillo. Sense of humour, able to laugh at himself. Lots of common sense. Down to earth. Basically honest.

    Not things the ‘cancerous’ brownites would understand. Good word that Guido. It describes them absolutely to a T.

  24. 24
    Desperate Dan says:

    Blair was too useless and weak to sack Brown. Campbell and Mandelson were too useless and incompetent to make sure Brown and Balls were comprehensively denounced and cast into the outer darkness.

  25. 25
    The handwriting of a monster says:

    One of the fascinating aspects of the documents is the memo with Brown’s handwritten notes. Christ on a fucking tricycle, Jonah’s handwriting is one fucking illegible scrawl. Someone should get it analysed by a handwriting expert to see what it reveals about McDoom. We can predict the results though. “Handwriting style indicates a volatile, dangerous and unhinged individual with sociopathic and violent tendencies.”

  26. 26
    YokshireLad says:

    Anyone who supports the Labour Party – especially if Old Blinky assumes the reins which is clearly number one on his agenda – let alone donates to them after this needs to go into a padded cwell complete with straight jacket.

  27. 27
    Machiavelli says:

    They are only interested in their own self interests, the fate of the country is immaterial too them.

  28. 28
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    The coverage on the BBC website is much more thorough, even though every syllable is written as if the writer was in barely tolerable anguish.


  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    “Some will say this is a matter of only historical interest,”

    Like the BBC Today programme.

  30. 30
    Desperate Dan says:

    That’s overstepping the mark.

  31. 31

    There is a lot of Sue in these memo’s. Must he her fault. Blame Sue!

  32. 32
    The BBC says:

    The UK is officially in drought

  33. 33
    Bbc news says:

    “There are reports that Lord Ashcroft wrote these memos.”

  34. 34
    Bill d'Sarse says:

    From Al JaBeeba: “A Labour source has said that this is all ancient history and that Labour is a party looking to the future, he adds.”

    So when the opportunity to mention Thatcher’s name when talking about the Conservatives next arises, I suppose that also will be ancient history and be ignored?

    Na, didn’t think so.

  35. 35
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    ….tight-fisted, chippy, narrow-minded, spiteful…….

  36. 36
    David Milliband says:

    Opps, did I leave copies of Blinkies papers where a journo might find them.

  37. 37
    They're all the same says:

    Show me an MP who does not consider his own self-interest to be that of his country’s!

  38. 38
    Wee Dougie Alexander says:

    Don’t forget about me!!!!

  39. 39
    Blinky is upset at being exposed a lying cunt says:

    According to the Grauniad, he’s complained to the permanent secretary of the education dept and Gus O’Donnell has sanctioned an inquiry into the leak. Donnell has no business authorising an inquiry. He should’ve told Blinky to shove it.


  40. 40
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Possibly, but RedEd doesn’t come out smelling of roses either, does he? If we’re stuck on conspiracy theory, how about going for a Blairite move to discredit the Brownite Tendency as part of an ongoing campaign to defenestrate Ed2 and all their works?

  41. 41
    Desperate Dan says:

    I nominate Blair. He was forced out (who knows how?) and his every attempt at rebuilding his reputation and getting a proper job is treated with ridicule. The feud will blight Brown and Blair’s lives forever.

  42. 42
    Blinky is a fucking evil cunt says:

    Not really, no.

  43. 43
    Eeu to me says:

    So no change in the House of Corruption, all lies, corruption planned and unplanned still going unchecked by plod or any authorities, nature has a way of getting back at these vile people , lets wait and see if that’s true

  44. 44
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    This is supposed to link to a comment by Guido which has been expunged, hopefully temporarily.

  45. 45
    Desperate Dan says:

    He’ll be asking for a public enquiry. Every Labour MP will soon have an expensive money-wasting public enquiry of his/her own.

  46. 46
    Confused of Ilford says:

    Gus, make your mind up. Was it Gove or was it Huhne? Any more candidates in your cupboard?

  47. 47
    Steve Miliband says:

    Come on Darling, spill the beans about the forces of hell

  48. 48
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am a Volvo.

  49. 49
    Morning Glory says:

    So far a 5 second mention on BBC Breakfast, Liza
    Minelli is a far more relevant and important story.
    Though I would so do Susanna Reid….

  50. 50
    Bruce says:

    Lower than a snake’s armpit .

  51. 51
    Desperate Dan says:

    The BBC have changed their angle on this story to suggest that this sort of behaviour is every day normal amongst the political classes and that they’re all at it..

  52. 52
    Desperate Dan says:

    Yes it is.

  53. 53
    Gordon Brown says:

    Sue wrote those memos purporting to be by me.

  54. 54
    They're all smug, sneering Celt cunts at the BBC, 'cept Kuenssbergs whom I wish to bum intensely says:

    This conniving, back stabbing, mendacious, spendaholic, hate filled cu’nt ousted the Tory Party’s greatest threat


  55. 55
    A toddler was beaten to death by scrounging, welfare dependent, degenerates, So what??? says:

    So what?

  56. 56
    Yates of the yard. says:

    So, who released the “secret” docs, and why?

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    I think it’s spelt vulva.

  58. 58
    JH says:

    Yeah, cancer has rights too.

  59. 59
    Desperate Dan says:

    Good because the phone hacking story is getting as boring as Northern Ireland. It goes on forever and I don’t care.

  60. 60
    I am a left wing firebrand!!! Ed Milliband says:

    Mithter Balls hath moi full thupport!!!!

  61. 61
    Bruce Wayne says:

    don’t you mean vulva?

  62. 62
    Cynic says:

    A lot of this was done on House of Commons Stationary for Ed Balls and on Government IT systems. That is against the rules and amounts to theft of public property. Will someone complain to the Met and the Standards Committee?

  63. 63
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Balls is like a scorpion, he can not do anything else but sting people.

    Let’s not forget how he tried to destroy Al Darling, the serving Chancellor.

  64. 64
    Beauty Watch says:

    Loving Susanna Reid’s length of skirt. I’d like her to sit on my face.

  65. 65
    Raving Loon says:

    Or generally be a good bloke

  66. 66
    Hang The Bastards says:

    EDCUATION ! WTF is that ……?

    The bong-eyed retard’s e-mails are more difficult to read than his spider handwriting. No wonder this country was in such a mess when you look at what that shambles of backstabbers were doing all day.

  67. 67
    Nemo says:

    We would like a friendly word with you about a certain atomic energy expert, who was found dead in a very lonely place on his own, in very suspicious circumstances.

  68. 68
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    fucking scum, That Balls is, But i didnt know Ed Miliband was in the same league, Gotta keep an eye on the quiet ones eh!

    But on 7/7 ? sick fuckers, that shows that had no intrest in the country or anyone that lives in it.

    HANG EM!

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    Probably escaped through being used to help scupper his abortive IMF bid.

  70. 70
    Blinky is a fucking evil cunt says:


  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Is that in addition to the biological weapons expert?

  72. 72
    Hotty on the box says:

    What’s the name of the goddess presenting Sky News right now?

  73. 73
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You know, i aint a fan of the left, but the more i hear about the plotting and how low they went , the more respect i have for Alistair darling (not policy wise), He had brown on one side , Balls on the other , Mcbride left of centre and now we know Ed Mililband on the far left giving Darling Crap.

    Come on Darling write a book?

  74. 74
    nell says:

    I’ve just lost a comment completely. I suspect bullyballs has a mole in Guido’s office who is playing silly beggars with the modding button!!

  75. 75
    from spain says:

    i see the Guardian are very relaxed this morning could hardly find it,
    and they say its old news.
    If it had been Tory would have been 6 fucking pages on the plot.
    shit paper and website shit journalists.and Poly wants burning at the stake.

  76. 76
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I think you mean “Vulgar”

  77. 77
    YokshireLad says:

    No Gordon, you’re an incompetent twat of the highest order

  78. 78
    Postlethwaite says:

    cant spell

    . . . plott the downfall . . .

    whilst your pot still smoulders?

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    He was too busy “flipping” houses to notice.

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    Liza Minelli relevant and important news? Why? Is she dead?

  81. 81
    sonofselsdonman says:

    For the guardian that is the big question – not what lying duplicitous self serving bastards are now running the labour party

  82. 82
    Jonah must be shitting his knickers over what the Telegraph may have says:

    Apparently the Telegraph will have even more revelations tomorrow. Here’s hoping for something juicy and shocking about McDoom. :-D

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Honest!?!?!?! jesus. Some memories are short.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    ‘cept porto is a bummo

  85. 85
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:


  86. 86
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    yes. they covered up what happened to the atomic expert because they used the same modus operandi.

    I mean, what chande would there be of another rickety old bloke with a heart condition taking loads of banned pills, then stabbing a rather large (but not huge) artery (ineptly, several attampts), and lying about all night.

  87. 87
    Hang The Bastards says:

    The sooner Ed Balls is out of politics Britian will be a better place !

  88. 88
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    So Ed Balls is a nasty conniving cnut. What a surprise.

  89. 89
    Steve Miliband says:

    Know what you mean Billy, but don’t forget he was a big flipper

  90. 90
    Handwriting expert says:

    Handwriting style indicates a volatile, dangerous and unhinged individual with sociopathic and violent tendencies.

  91. 91
    Hang The Bastards says:

    They never have and never will care about the little people. Ed Balls and his cronies are a cancer. Whilst the country was suffering on 7/7 those thoughtless bastards were doing what they do best….. backstabbing.

  92. 92
    the last quango in paris says:

    No wonder they didn’t see the economic disaster heading our way when they made this garbage their priority. Whilst the rest of us were working our backsides off and dodging terrorists due to their WMD lies they were trying to further their careers – and they wonder why they’re not electable.

    Where is Brown in the H of C – still he takes the p out of us all on a daily basis.

    And it doesnt take a genius to work out Ed Miliband – so depserate for the job he was ready to do down his brother (notwithstanding the fact he would be much, much better).

    Rotten to the core and still we have to pay them, their pensions and their poncing about in the Lords.

    At the end of the day, I sit back and think how proud I am of my parents and what they have done and hope that my children will think the same of me.

    New Labour – you reap what you sow.

  93. 93

    Politicians were not held in great esteem before that lot came to power.

    The morals to draw from all this is:

    1. Never underestimate how much lower politicians can sink, they will constantly plumb newer depths.
    2. Never rely on the fourth estate to unmask this, at least whilst the politicians are still in power.
    3. Never rely on the judiciary to uphold freedom of expression.
    4. God save the Queen. Keep us far away from any presidencies.

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    Feck orf you spineless twat DM

  95. 95
    Nemo says:

    I am afraid that has been always the same through out history so called leaders cling to power at any price whether they are good or bad, and their opposition fight to obtain power (even if they are totally bad ), the only one’s who suffer under any party are the lowest on the lowest rung (man on the Clapham omnibus if you like)

  96. 96
    Nemo says:

    Here we go again, the thought police are at it again

  97. 97
    Hang The Bastards says:

    I only watch the BBC Breakfast news to crack-one-off in the morning.

    Suzanna Reid is a great focus point for getting rid of the morning stiffy !

  98. 98
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Thats nowt, Most Mps were on the fiddle one way or another. i was just trying to say that Darling carried himself quite well considering (i still dont agree with polices) , Imagine Balls, Brown,Mcbride and Miliband all briefing against you and still having to try and hold the party line and having to sit in a cabnait with these scum plus living next door to Gordon.

  99. 99
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Someone needs to look into how the semi-literate managed to write a PhD thesis and get awarded the degree.

  100. 100
    the last quango in paris says:

    agreed. if you dont want anyone to know your business dont leave messages about it and dont get up to no good in the first place.

    utterly childish – crying as they’re found out.

    And who says this was Gove’s dept?

  101. 101
    Cato Street Conspirator says:


  102. 102
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido, I do belive you need a new Tag For gordon and Balls and Co.

    “Compleate and utter scumwatch” ?

  103. 103
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    No one does hypocrisy like politicians and no one does treachery like politicians.

  104. 104
    Jenny Bond World Authority on Royal Family says:

    The Royal Family are my best friends and they all love me. I am the world authority on the Royal Family and I was Lady Di’s closest confidant. The BBC would never ask anyone but me, or Simon Sharma if I’m not available, about the Royal Family because no-one in the entire country knows anything about the Royal Family but me (and Simon Sharma).

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    Only a matter of time until scum rises to the surface.

  106. 106
    Mick says:

    Surely it wasn’t Govey?

  107. 107
    Did Cameron approve the leaking? says:

    Sir Gus O’Donnell, the cabinet secretary, sanctioned an investigation in the early hours of Friday morning into the leaking of private papers belonging to Ed Balls after a complaint from the shadow chancellor.

    In an extraordinary twist to the leaking of the papers to the Daily Telegraph, which appears designed to damage Balls, the cabinet secretary approved an investigation after the shadow chancellor complained that he last saw the documents in the education department a year ago.

    The documents show Balls was the key figure in “Project Volvo”, designed to unseat Tony Blair and prepare Gordon Brown for the Labour party premiership.

    Balls contacted David Bell, permanent secretary at the education department, to say he last saw the papers in a file on his desk at the department shortly before the general election. The papers were not among correspondence sent to his Commons office after the election, by which time Balls had stood down as education secretary. Bell formally ordered the inquiry after consulting O’Donnell.

  108. 108
    Lii dem fiddler says:

    Liebour were more concerned about self interest than the looming financial crisis that we are all paying for at the moment. This demonstrates how the country was sold down the river of no return by spin,deceit and lies. Traitors who should be held to account.Westminster needs to be radically reformed so politicians act in the national interest.Right to recall and referendum on key issues, politicians can not be trusted.

  109. 109
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Expecting the Guardian to expose nastiness in the Labour Party is like expecting Wayne Rooney to say no to the question “Looking for business?”

  110. 110
    Jabba the Cat says:


  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    There are over 20 British nuclear experts who’ve died in mysterious circumstances. Which one are you talking about?

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:


  113. 113
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    FFS its a auto mod, Learn to beat it, I cant tell ya as Guido deletes my tips for beating the Mod :-)

  114. 114
    Lard Presc'unt says:

    Do you fancy honking the bobo love?

  115. 115
    Archer Karcher says:

    No he is not! His boyfriends are.

  116. 116
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido , Can we have a review of the Clegg event last night?

  117. 117
    the last quango in paris says:

    Project Volvo: should have been project mini for Mr Bean

  118. 118
    Ballsgate says:

    Yep the Guardian is blaming the new government for releasing the Balls papers and are failing to report their contents.


  119. 119
    Cynic says:

    Yes the real news is that Balls is upset because someone has stolen papers he left on his desk. There is even a leak inquiry.

  120. 120
    Archer Karcher says:

    What has poor cancer done to deserve Balls?

  121. 121
    Lii dem fiddler says:

    Let’s be clear he could not count, communicate, tell the truth, do his job and he fiddled his expenses and dodged tax by house flipping. At the moment he can not even be bothered tom attend parliament to the the job he is paid for. when is someone in politics going to change this totally unacceptable situation? McClegg has the responsibility for doing this as well. Claiming he was do this.

  122. 122
    Archer Karcher says:

    Gus is a jibbering, tin foil loon.

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    Guido – you missed Brogn’s blog: “The Telegraph today BEGINS publication of a remarkable cache of documents …”. Hopefully much more to come, with some real nails for BB’s coffin …

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    Why wait so long?

    And what else is there – a ‘couple of boxes’ can hold a lot of paper…!!

  125. 125
    nell says:

    So who benefits from the release of these ‘assassination of bliar’ plans?

    militwit is becoming more evidently useless by the day – he’ll never make it to an election.

    bullyballs is completely discredited by these documents surely knocking him out of the running for the leadership when it comes around again. Pity though I so wanted to see him as leader – it would have been very entertaining watching.

    Who does that leave to stand as a credible leader then? Oh fancy! Look at that! There stands davidmilitwit all pristine, clean and messiahlike and more than willing and ready to lead the sullied labour crew to the sunny uplands!!!!

    I wonder if he has a little plotting committee and sets of notes just like gordon and bullyballs did?

    I wonder if one of them reads something like gordon’s notes to himself on how to portray himself – “Who is GB? – I have publications completed , a book just coming out entitled Heroes”

    There is nothing more entertaining than watching this incompetent self-serving labour rabble self-destruct!

  126. 126
    Some Tory boyz are shit says:

    Well done Balls and all involved (bar the Guido bit of course – not sure what this is about).

    I hated Blair at the time because of Iraq. I only look down on Balls etc for not getting rid of Blair sooner.

    Re the affair on a wider scale, this is politics you know. This sort of thing seems to go on all the time at different levels and in all parties.

  127. 127
    Mrs B says:

    I blame Sue.

  128. 128
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Not only has Balls dumbed down education, He and his comrades have dumbed down the standard of politics in this country.

  129. 129
    Desperate Dan says:

    If Campbell had been any good at his job he would have leaked the evidence of what Brown and Balls were up to and made sure that neither of them got within a mile of No. 10. Campbell, like Bair, was scared of Brown and didn’t dare make a move against him.

  130. 130
    BBC excuse-maker-in-chief says:

    This is old news, FFS

    We prefer to talk about something more current, like Thatcher’s destruction of the country 30 years ago.

  131. 131
    Moley says:

    It won’t.

    Leaks come from office Juniors.

    Ministers no only too well that leaks will one day have the capacity to destroy them too.

  132. 132
    Geni T Al says:

    Project Volvo? Project Vulva more like.

  133. 133
    Tax Payer says:

    Yes it is

  134. 134
    Backbencher says:

    That is a bit sad. Police, papers etc, i.e. everyone involved should be locked up.

  135. 135
    Tax Payer says:

    Loved Naughtie saying “we’ve got to move on”.

    How we love his pain……

  136. 136
    Tax Payer says:

    These memo’s haven’t come from the Labour party.

  137. 137

    Balls is, in fact, a lying prick.

  138. 138
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Miliband cant sack balls, If he does he would have to resign himself, Still might get a few Muzzie votes.

    How will the unions react? while the police/ambulance and fire crews were risking thier lives trying to save people the workers champion (Labour) were plotting to get rid of the most succsesful Labour PM for 40+ years.

    Up the workers!

  139. 139
    Inspector Morse says:

    Makes no sense. Balls is many things but he is no idiot.

    Why did he walk off and leave two boxes of damning papers in his old office?

    Why did he not ask for them back?

    It’s almost as if he wanted them to be found by the new regime. Very odd indeed.

  140. 140
    Tax Payer says:

    Yeah, these are personal and/or political papers. Nothing to do with the civil service.

    If Balls can’t look after his stuff, tough.

  141. 141
    Moley says:

    Balls has a superinjunction which prevents anyone from criticising him.

  142. 142
    Steve Miliband says:

    Who can blame him. Could send one over the edge

  143. 143
    Tax Payer says:

    2 boxes worth! F’ucking brilliant.

  144. 144
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Shit-stabbing runs a close second, I think you will find, possibly, theoretically, and I wouldn’t really know as I am not a politician and this is just guesswork.

  145. 145
    biology pedant. says:

    Cancer isn’t a separate entity.

    Cancer is, in a nutshell, one’s own cells that have lost control and are running amok.

  146. 146
    South of the M4 says:

    The country, and only him.

  147. 147
    An Open Letter to Red Ed says:

    Dear Ed,

    I would like some reassurance that all that polling and image consulting, with the aim of making a psycho Prime Minister, was paid for out of Labour Party or union funds. You will appreciate that after the expenses scandal, that I, as a taxpayer, need to be reassured that I didn’t take it up the arse yet again.

  148. 148
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Blair – proven liar
    Brown – proven liar
    Balls – proven liar
    Ed Miliband – completely useless tosser
    Labour shits – Sadiq Khan, Harriet Harman, Peter Hain, pompous arse Thornberry, Liam Byrne – most of them basically.
    Labour – the party of lies, spite and no policies.

  149. 149
    Archer Karcher says:

    What reputation?
    Bliar the warmongering poodle? Bliar the EU sell out knob jockey? Bliar the democracy thief? Bliar the venal grasping adventurer? Bliar let’s ‘rub their faces in it’ immigration enabler?
    The only thing liar Bliar has going for him, is he is not Brown.

  150. 150
    Gonk says:

    Highlighted in your above narrative is
    the article you wrote in the Times of a couple of
    years ago. ‘Taste of the forces of hell’
    I’d not read it before and describes the
    workings of an almost criminal gang.
    The complicity and cowardice of lobby journalists
    is startling and unforgivable. Lefties are mostly an
    embittered uncivil lot predisposed by envy and
    outrage but here they’re motivated by evil and criminality.

  151. 151
    Steve Miliband says:

    So if Brown is a Volvo, Cameron a BMW then Miliband must be a Kia Picanto

  152. 152
    Teeny Weeny Spider says:


  153. 153
    Moley says:

    What this does show is that those who were profoundly worried during the post election discussions about the future of democratic Government in this Country were justified in their concerns.

    If Balls and Brown had succeeded in keeping Labour in Government, they would have done absolutely anything to stay there.

  154. 154
    Sir Everard Digby says:

    Or perhaps he wanted to assist Millipede’s demise. after all,he does not need the electorate to make him party leader,only the faithful,who seem to overlook such issues. Fuck me,if they selected McRuin, Balls has every chance.

  155. 155
    Steve Miliband says:

    Is this the ‘Blair Leak Project?’, part one of his attempt to become EU President?

  156. 156
    Ed Balls says:

    I was Gordon Brown’s Number Two

  157. 157
    Milk Monitor says:

    Yo Blair. If you go down to the woods today….

  158. 158
    NeverRed says:

    Get back to the Guardian Cif.

  159. 159
    Desperate Dan says:

    We have Balls to thank for introducing us to “post-neoclassical endogenous growth theory”, so he must have a sense of humour.

  160. 160
    Anonymous says:

    Good on you, Guido.
    This goes a long way to counteracting your dreadful history of supporting the murderous Israelis.


  161. 161
    NeverRed says:

    Starting with testicular cancer and slowly moving upward to breasts, thick skin and then brain if possible.

  162. 162
    Archer Karcher says:

    Not just Balls, there are plenty of other shit kickers in the HOC and HOL on all sides, who need clearing.

  163. 163
    Moley says:

    A telling paragraph from Peter Oborne in the Telegraph.

    “In private, the former prime minister (Blair) and his stalwarts make no secret that they feel closer by far to the Coalition than to what they see as a collection of Brownite plotters. That is why so many former Labour ministers, including John Hutton and Frank Field, are already working with the Coalition.

    They believe (as does Tony Blair) that Cameron and Clegg represent their own progressive values more closely than does Miliband.”


    To summarise;

    Many in the Labour Party are happy that Cameron and Clegg are pursuing Labour Policies.

  164. 164
    Tony Blair says:

    Presidencies? I rather like the sound of that!

  165. 165
    NeverRed says:

    Let’s have an enquiry by Gus.

  166. 166
    Desperate Dan says:

    In the interests of hours of harmless entertainment let’s hope Brown/Balls come up with with Brown/Balls Counter-Leak Project as part of their attempts to become Head of IMF and replacement for Ed.

  167. 167
    Ed says:

    “I will be leader, I will! Oh god no I won’t. Ah well, time for plan B: Scorched Earth. Release the hounds, er, files! If I can’t be a Labour prime minister no one else in the party will, ever again. Hahahahahahaa ha!”

  168. 168
    Kieth Vaz says:

    What about me?

  169. 169
    Peter Grimes says:

    And to think that McPoison now works for a ‘charity’!

    Back to his charity financials, Guido, you might smell another Sith!!

  170. 170
    Stan Butler says:

    It has actually been a lead story on BBC 5 Live this morning. Can’t believe that a story critical of their beloved Labour Party has been broadcast.
    That said, if this had been the Tories it would be the lead on the World Service, BBC Swaziland and points North and South.

  171. 171
    Moley says:

    From the Telegraph Documents.

    Memo written by Balls 19 July 2005.

    “Ed M” and “Damian” (among others) nominated to cover Tory issues.

    Ed Miliband, Damian Mc Bride and Balls all linked together to smear the Tories.

  172. 172
    AC1 says:

    Sounds like ClimateGate! BallsGate… hehe Sounds painful.

  173. 173
    IMF says:

    It will cost too much and too quickly. We support the UK coalition’s policy to have him quietly cricket-batted to death in a back alley in Peckham.

  174. 174
    Peter Grimes says:

    And Al JaBeeBa’s print version, the Guardian, is following the same line, with Lady Michael White claiming they knew all of this plot stuff – move along please but can we crucify Gove!

    Why the fuck did Lady White consistently deny it at the time then, or is he, like most print churnalists of his era, being wise after the event?

  175. 175
    Tom boy Yvette says:

    This will teach the fucker to leave me with the shit job of ‘Women and Equalities’.

  176. 176
    Jess The Dog says:

    It’s astounding to see this in print. This sort of stuff usually comes out decades after the event.

    It’s nearly as astounding to read the Guardian’s take on this…that the Tories somehow fear Balls and that this may be a leak by the current government. Balls is their greatest asset and he will repeat all the mistakes of Brown without the slight sympathy the former PM somehow encouraged. I can’t see how the current government leaked this material….it is bottom-of-the-drawer stuff that would not have been filed.

  177. 177
    Jess The Dog says:

    This silences Labour on any criticism of Coalition splits, which is one of the main lines of attack. The split between Brown and Blair, now evidenced in writing, is incomprehensible in a single party and government….by any measures the Coalition is unusually close at the top, let alone by comparison with the previous government.

  178. 178
    False posh speak says:

    If it was a list of arse lickers, then you would be at the top.

  179. 179
    Charidee Commissioner says:

    No surprise there. Many charities are simply job creation schemes for lefties.

  180. 180
    Desperate Dan says:

    Join a charity and see the world courtesy of idiot donors.

  181. 181
    misterned says:

    So Balls and Miliband killed off the deceitful veneer of ‘”new labour” and ousted Blair…. Now his backstabbing deceit is open and public for all the world to see, alongside the disgusting way that Ed Miliband stabbed his own, flesh and blood brother in the back.

    The two Eds have effectively killed off “new generation labour too!”

    I don’t know whether to hate them or love them!

    They are utterly repulsive characters, but they are killing the labour party, so I am confused.

  182. 182
    Foreign Geezer says:

    Who eez Balls? I’m too bizzee picking strawberries.

  183. 183
    The Daily Blag says:

    My phone is now in little pieces. Does this mean I’ve been hacked?

  184. 184
    misterned says:


  185. 185
    Man from BBFC says:

    Banned in uk – Human centipede II

    Should be banned in uk – Ed “Human Millipede” Milliband and his mate Ed “non human” Balls

  186. 186
    the only way is anal says:

    “basically honest” – in other words a total liar

  187. 187
    the only way is anal says:

    adam boulton

  188. 188
    Anonymous says:

    Did this happen around the time of the 7/7 London bombings?
    So when the country was reeling from the terrible deaths and destruction in our capital, Balls and his fellow plotters obviously had far more pressing matters to deal with. Sickening.

  189. 189
    the only way is anal says:

    shooting rather than clearing

  190. 190
    BBC says:

    Move along!

  191. 191
    "There's no money left" says:

    Jo Coburn on BBC2 Daily Politics did a good job of covering this story today. Thorough questioning of Liam Byrne, who claimed not to have read the Telegraph coverage!

  192. 192
    And the BBC adds: says:

    The Archbishop of Canterbury still thinks the Tories are complete and utter bastards who are leading this country to the abyss.

  193. 193
    And the BBC adds again: says:

    The German EColi outbreak was caused by beansprouts after all.

  194. 194
    BBC says:

    Actually, this could be very bad news for the Conservatives.

  195. 195
    BBC says:

    Serious questions will now be asked about David Cameron’s leadership.

  196. 196
    BBC says:

    Does anyone else think Ed Balls has lost weight?

  197. 197
    Billy's amanuensis says:

    spellling mestakes dus it formee

  198. 198
    Elvis says:

    As someone suffering with cancer, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone- even Balls. Mind you, skinning him, roasting the bastard slowly before feeding what remains to the Labour party at a banquet has many merits.

  199. 199
    Here is the BBC news: says:

    Prince Phillip is 90.

  200. 200
    More BBC news:Don't mention the Balls-up. says:

    Poor old Mandleson and Straw may have had their emails hacked by that nasty Mr Murdoch, who Labour used to love but don’t any more.

  201. 201
    Yet more BBC news says:

    They’re still fighting in the Middle East….

  202. 202
    Anonymous says:


  203. 203
    Methuselah says:

    Since they’ve been fighting in the Middle East since I were a lad, I would question whether this is news at all? Surely it’s only newsworthy when they’re not fighting?
    I’d far rather know about secret plots and back-stabbing in the Labour party, especially when it concerns the Leader and Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer.

  204. 204
    Anonymous says:


  205. 205
    Boudicca says:

    I’m in favour of an inquiry- it simply serves to keep the story in the public eye and reminds voters how divided and dysfunctional the Labour party is.

  206. 206
    Desperate Dan says:

    Its about time there was another enquiry into Cash for Peerages and Important Sinecures.

  207. 207
    Desperate Dan says:

    And we need an enquiry into who shredded Tony Blair’s expenses claims and why. Its the Al Capone Strategy. If we can’t get him on war crimes, we’ll get him on fraud and embezzlement.
    Then there’s the Iraq War. There should be another enquiry lined up for when this one finishes.

  208. 208
    BBC says says:

    Tory MP arrested for alleged sex assault.

  209. 209
    Yet more BBC bias says:

    Balls denies a plot and Nick Robinson backs him up.

  210. 210
    Thank F*ck Gordon Brown has gone says:

    Brown,Balls, Milliband and their cronies = political scum

  211. 211
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    At least the LibDems would not stoop to such depths of political degradation.

  212. 212
    Mirage Renenger says:

    Senile old bint says something silly on television. You don’y get senilier or bintier than GG.


  213. 213
    Anonymous says:

    Last week she was complaining about dog poo killing bluebells and English towns being ruined by hanging baskets and Britain in Bloom competitions.
    May I suggest she bugger off back to Oz.

  214. 214
    Handycock, No1 Trougher in Parliament. says:

    What does this sort of handwriting with lots of spelling and grammatical mistakes in it, mean?

  215. 215
    saddo says:

    Daily, evidence mounts that these mountebank journalists and self-styled ‘experts’ rejoice in their insider status and use it to entrench it by spinning fantasies and untruths to the Great Unwashed – who read their tall stories in the press and watch them, flanked by the oppressive bogus-Gothic architecture of the Houses of Parliament, on the broadcast news.

    Raise a glass to Guido and the army of honest bloggers!

  216. 216
    Handwriting expert says:

    In addition to the indicated tendencies of ‘a volatile, dangerous and unhinged individual with sociopathic and violent tendencies;’ I would add the following character attributes, ‘sex addict, particularly with young girls, crook, fraudster (particularly where public money is involved), a tendency to prostitute one self for private gain. total lack of any morality, an inate tendency to put private gain above any sense of duty and Spy. That is about it, hope it has been of some help.

  217. 217
    Mike Litorus says:

    Only if he wishes it on his cock.

  218. 218
    Mike Litorus says:

    Fucking suits Balls down to a tee then.

  219. 219
    HamastanDaily says:

    Fuck off cnutbeak.

  220. 220
    Mike Litorus says:

    I’m not a doctor, but even I can see it means he is a spastic cnut.

  221. 221
    Mark Oaten says:


  222. 222
    Anonymous says:

    Balls will tell any lie to avoid being accountable for his actions

  223. 223
    Sunday Morning says:

    Word in and around the bars of Brookmans Park is that McBride gave Balls two years to to resurrect his political carer after agreeing to protect him in the aftermath of the email smear scandal story….Balls was grateful but then called his bluff…..McBride was annoyed and called his very good friend at the Daily Telegraph!

  224. 224
    K94QR says:

    So Iago Balls just left the smoking gun on his desk when they were kicked out of office?

  225. 225
    Olgrumpfy says:

    One wonders what Balls-up will say when Cambo and Co. get stuck into the e-mails, which show he ignored warnings about overspend!

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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