May 30th, 2011

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


  1. 1

    Good to see that Guido has taken down Twitter.

  2. 2
    Posh twat says:

    Does anybody understand what lardy Cheryl Coles says – seems to me with all that cash you could learn to speak properly.

  3. 3
    Qui Bono says:

    You have to feel a bit sorry for Lansley, do no more than your masters bidding and take the flak for it while he runs away.

    Another urgent problem kicked into the long grass.

  4. 4

    Oh! I see it now, it is the NHS…

    Save the planet. Pull one plug and cut off two services. Very Green.

  5. 5
    Posh twat says:

    Is this supposed to be funny

  6. 6
    Sicko says:

    I see it more as tragedy.

  7. 7

    Dunno. But it will surely please that nice Mr Huhne.

  8. 8
    Andrew Lansley RIP says:

    Darn. there was I hoping that Rich and Mark had gone orf for the bank holiday.

  9. 9
    Bowden is a tosser says:

    the tosser must have gone to sign on this morning

  10. 10
    Chris Hoon says:

    Driving cars above the speed limit will damage the environment !!

  11. 11

    Fear not. The hand is unidentifiable. They cannot draw fingerprints.

  12. 12

    @Sicko. Branding! The NHS is not about you. It is about well people. Otherwise it would be the National Sick Service.

  13. 13
    Dave saves the NHS deathcamps because he's a coward says:

    Didn’t we all.

  14. 14
    Confused of Coldstream says:

    Why is Dave pulling the plug on Andrew Lansley and his NHS reforms while at the same time giving Huhne and his windmills a boost of steroids?

  15. 15
    Bed sores, indifferent nurses, soiled sheets and the only drinking water is in vases says:

    I thought it stood for No Hope of Salvation.

  16. 16
    Ex-Conservative voter says:

    It’s best not to think about it. Like Brown before him, to understand Dave you’ve got to sink to his level.

  17. 17
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Fuckin Skid@Mark should be signing on with him FFS

  18. 18
    tat is a mong says:

    I bet you sit in your bedsit, rocking backwards and forwards, face purple with rage, waving your fist in the air whilst shouting “fuck you, Bowden! Fuck you!”

  19. 19
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    I have a well known hand gesture for them !

    mornin mate !

  20. 20

    Morning, sir. I trust your bronze mines are blooming, or whatever it is that they do.

  21. 21
    Bowden is a tosser says:

    Is Schrödinger Bowden’s alter ego with training in spelling and grammar.

  22. 22
    Engineer says:

    Consider the following:

    During the last couple of years, we have had scandals at Maidstone and Stafford hospitals, the report a couple of months ago into treatment of the elderly and recent resurfacing of the same problem.

    The NHS budget has risen substantially in the last decade or so.

    Any large organisation will have vested interests working in it, often several.

    The last person with any voice in the healthcare “system” is the patient, and the poorest and most vulnerable have the least say amongst them.

    The NHS does some things very well, and other things (some of us would say many things) appallingly badly.

    “Outcomes” for patients are better in many other countries, some of whom spend less on healthcare than the UK does. Those countries are clearly doing something better than we are.

    Front-line staff such as nurses complain that they can’t do a good job because they have too much work to do, and don’t get adequate back-up from support departments.

    There is a huge management and administration organisation entrenched within the NHS ways of doing things (or ways of not getting things done).

    The country has run out of money, and can’t reasonably spend much more on the NHS, or anything else.

    The NHS could clearly be better.

    Lansley is trying to make it better. His reforms might not be perfect, they may not even work in full, but to abandon them now would be a betrayal of those of us who are forced to use the NHS, and those of us who are forced to pay for it.

  23. 23
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Because the useless twat is not a Tory – he is a wishy washy social democrat like Blair and Clegg.

  24. 24
    Noel Harrison says:

    Laws passed by Huhne deserve our deepest contempt.

  25. 25
    Teacher of remedial English says:

    Questions are followed by a “?”

  26. 26
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Gleaming mate gleaming !

    wouldn’t you think Call Me ravey davey gravy would wear something a bit more casual on holiday ?

  27. 27

    Some proper punctuation would be nice.

  28. 28

    She looks a dish – he looks like a rag.

  29. 29
    Dilligaff says:

    ‘Think the unthinkable.’ Field does and is roundly damned. This is Cameron’s moment to show leadership and he leaves Lansley to hang.

  30. 30
    Anon says:


    I’d add – just speculatively – that levying a charge of £500 on anyone turning up to hospital dru*nk (£500 plus the cost of their treatment) would not only solve many of the NHS’s problems, but sort out a number of law and order issues, too.

  31. 31
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    The NHS is shite it is not accountable and is staffed by Labour troll’s
    who just turn up for an easy life
    standard of care is appalling, food appalling, cleanliness appalling !
    shut the fuckin lot down make everyone pay private health insurance
    which must be cheaper
    and then at least you can go elsewhere if your not happy

  32. 32
    Wishful thinking? says:

    The mood is certainly turning against Cameron. Dare we dream of a proper Conservative leader before the end of the year?

  33. 33
    Dack Blog says:

    Prevention is better than cure. Too late now for cardioplegia or a drip of political nous.

  34. 34
    Engineer says:

    Both Laws and Huhne deserve some contempt, one for thieving, one for inflicting excessive greenery on the nation.

  35. 35
    The NHS is a soviet relic says:

    What you’re basically saying is “adopt Germany’s model”.

    Which poses the question, “is Germany’s model better than ours?”

    To which the answer is “yes, far better”.

  36. 36
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    She looks every part the little raver
    He looks like her dad dropping her off !

  37. 37
    Indiana Huhne and the M11 Speed Camera says:

    I hate GATS.

  38. 38
    Chris Poyntelles-Huhne says:

    The lights are going out. Blow, everyone.

  39. 39

    MRSA = More Regulation Spreads Ailments

  40. 40
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    The German Social security system is a good one as well
    you get out what you pay in
    it starts off with six months at full pay then six months at half pay after that you get next to FA which gives you an incentive to get another job

    Winning a war sometimes has its drawbacks

  41. 41
    Dack Blog says:

    Maybe in other countries GPs don’t delay referrals. Still, let’s give em more power, eh.

  42. 42
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Mop Rotting Shite Around

  43. 43

    So another spit roast candidate? Which end do you want for the first half?

  44. 44
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    A good summation of the problems with the NHS. the vested interest comment hits the nail on the head. I would go further and say that the most powerful vested interest in the NHS atthe moment is the Administrative Management, which can be likened to a cancer in the corpus of the NHS. Strange how the, “cuts” close wards and services but not offices, which seem to keep on growing.

  45. 45

    +1 (and pay, why not?)

  46. 46
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    You will love this then

  47. 47
    Engineer says:

    I’d rather the power lay with the patient. It’s us that pay for all this, after all.

    (That said, you can’t use that power without information and knowledge. The ability to change GPs, or get an immediate second opinion, would seem a positive development – so positive, it probably won’t happen.

    The GMC and the BMA are two of the vested interests mentioned above that need to be politely informed that the customer should always come first, and we’re the customers.)

  48. 48
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    The NHS bureaucrats would probably need a department of 25,000 people to ‘administer’ the relevant form-filling required to impose and collect that sort of fine. The process would also need to ‘tick dozens of boxes’ to ensure no breaches of ‘Elf ‘n’ Safety, full compliance with anti-discrimination laws and Human Rights laws too. A clipboard carrier’s paradise.

  49. 49
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    The Autumn Conference round could be a difficult time for him. Increasing numbers of the Voluntary party are asking difficult questions without recieving any answers. The 1922 committee is restless, but is not united behind a single leader. Trouble is, there is no obvious alternative at the moment.

  50. 50
    Nemo says:

    In general I agree with you, trouble is you can think of the NHS as a sort of quasie civil service, do you remember that bloke Robinson doing a program on revising how a hospital is run, on the idiot’s lantern, it happened to be Rotherham hospital not far from where I live. He suggested some fairly obvious reforms but it took some doing to get them implemented, it would be interesting to see if the suggestions are still being in operation. I have been in there and have no large complaints.

  51. 51
    Engineer says:


    The best organisations that I’ve ever worked in, or with, put great store in “doing the basics really well”. The NHS has totally forgotten that and mired itself in self-serving trivia and bureaucracy.

  52. 52
    Killer Cucumber says:

    Keep eating your salad, everyone dies, NHS superfluous! Simps.

  53. 53
    Flash Gordon says:

    In a rush to get home to Mongo before the missus, were you ?

  54. 54
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Not bothered mate theres always half time (change ends)
    But anything that stops a woman talking would do !

  55. 55
    Shock,Awe and Total Indifference says:

    Not on a Bank Holiday he ain’t …Benefit offices are closed until Wednesday

  56. 56
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Can we report Skid and Mark under the trades description act as cartoons are meant to be funny?

  57. 57

    I would not dream of saying that to any woman, when I was just about to stuff my nuts in her mouth…

  58. 58
    Jamess says:

    Reforming the NHS is dead easy.

    The simplest way is to let those who chose to opt out of the NHS and go private keep the tax that would have gone to the NHS. Socialist who think the NHS is good value for money can’t complain (unless they really think the NHS is bad value for money and the private sector would do a better job) whilst those who think the NHS isn’t good can opt out, build up the private sector, and let that grow year by year.

    Might need to stop healthy people opting out for a year then going back on the NHS once they have cancer. Give people 50% off their NHS tax if they take a year out, 100% of the NHS tax if they take 5 years out.

  59. 59
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    If you are lucky you only die in a NHS hospital, If you are unlucky you survive and have to go back.

  60. 60
    Shock,Awe and Total Indifference says:

    Is it cos’ he’s a Tory perhaps ?? A thing you can’t accuse “Dave” of being

  61. 61
    Shock,Awe and Total Indifference says:

    The NHS has seen off better men than Lansley and Cameron…it’s an unreconstructed and unreformable monolith and it’s wards are littered with the careers of politicians who thought they could make a difference…you’d have more chance of abolishing the Monarchy than reforming the NHS

  62. 62

    Twitter still down. Site running three times as fast.

  63. 63
    Where's Gordon? says:

  64. 64
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Who’s the daddy?

  65. 65
    Engineer says:

    Maybe, but that’s no excuse not to keep trying.

  66. 66
    Observer says:

    Cuff drawn upside down.

  67. 67
    Moley says:

    Cameron’s reforms have gone with the wind.

    Climate change is causing the wind in the UK to drop, leaving all Huhne’s windmills as very expensive perches for seagulls.

  68. 68
    Sensible Bloke says:

    In the same way “Life Insurance” is, um, Death Insurance. And Shampoo for clean shiny hair, not dirty oily hair.

    And so it goes. Everyone knows what it means

  69. 69
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Looks like Man U’s performance on Saturday, starts off at a high tempo, sudden followed by huge collapse then flat as Barcelona run riot.

  70. 70
    Anon says:

    Rats. You’re right.

    I was thinking it could be made it a criminal offence to attend a hospital whilst dr*unk (minimum fine £500 plus costs, failure to pay lands you 2 months in prison), but we’d still get the new civil service department of 10,000 civil service non-jobbers to do the clip-board multi-culti anti-discriminatory checks.

  71. 71
    Moley says:

    One of the biggest problems with the NHS is that the money DOES NOT follow the patient.

    The money is disbursed to hospitals regardless of whether patients come or not, which means that hospitals respond to financial stress by a refusal to provide their customers with the service for which they are being paid.

    Payment for work done is the only way forward.

  72. 72
    don't make me laugh says:

    Schrodingers twat and Mad Frankie Spazcock, the Hale and Pace of

  73. 73
    filipinomonkey says:

    Ooooooh I know who it is this week, it’s Chris Huhne unplugging a speed camera.

  74. 74
    S Tringham-Uppe says:

    We could use the windmills instead of lamp-posts when we sort out Westminster.

  75. 75

    Try some of these irony pills…

  76. 76
    don't make me laugh says:

    “According to government figures, 13 of the past 16 months have been calmer than normal – while 2010 was the “stillest” year of the past decade.

    Meteorologists believe that changes to the Atlantic jet stream could alter the pattern of winds over the next 40 years and leave much of the nation’s growing army of power-generating turbines becalmed.”

    And further.

    “Dr David Brayshaw, also from Reading’s Department of Meteorology, added: “If wind speed lowers, we can expect to generate less electricity from turbines – that’s a no-brainer.”

    Is there really anybody with any brains in any department of meteorology?

  77. 77

    It’s a bank holiday! You can take a day off and still be paid by the state. Go out and enjoy it.

    Careful on the roads though. Don’t want to see you hospitalised…

  78. 78
    Ed says:

    I’m thlim thhady, yeth I’m the real thhady, all the other thlim thhadys are jutht imitating.

  79. 79
    All police are pigs says:

    That’s excellent. I’d like to see this civil disobedience taken further: vigilantes in Transits driving around, when they see Plod with his speed-gun, they stop, disembark with pick-axe handles, batter the pig to a pulp and then go off in search of the next one.

  80. 80
    Sensible Bloke says:

    The hopelessly drunk are not “ill” though they may throw up. In the morning they will be sober, and do not belong in a hospital in the first place.

    The reason there are a growing number of alcohol-related admissions to the NHS, quoted recently in the shockhorror press, is because the police no longer provide “drunk-tanks” as they used to, they stopped to save money and officers time and they got no empty cells anymore.

    The wheeze is drop them off in A&E and dump them on the NHS. The three hour rule for admission (Labour target) means you can’t let drunks just sleep it off, because the clock is ticking, so they have to admit them.

    They should be charged £200 overnight hotel cost, because that’s essentially the service they have had. £500 may be a bit steep. Call it £350 for cash? NHS needs the money

  81. 81
    Engineer says:

    Good point – that would have the added advantage that those hospitals doing a good job would get more work, and therefore more funding. Those with a poor reputation would lose business, and be forced to either improve or shut. Hopefully.

  82. 82
    Napoleon Heauneparte says:

    you fool! Don’t you recognise a portrait of Cherie Blair when you see one?

  83. 83
    Postlethwaite says:

    So you are proposing another tax.

    Great idea.

  84. 84
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So what happens at the BBC ?

  85. 85
    Jabba the Cat says:

    You mean take elocution lessons…the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain…

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Engineer,can a considerable amount of the malaise within the hospital system be laid at the door of the changes whereby “nursing” became a acamedic degree course rather than an “on the ward” training under the supervision of Matron & Sister Tutor?

  87. 87

    “Ultimately, Labour wins by offering a better a better tomorrow and not a better yesterday.” Douglas Alexander.

    1. Your yesterday was a disaster.

    2. In politics, tomorrow never comes, especially if promised.

  88. 88
    Postlethwaite says:

    Dream on. Cast Iron Promise will be there for the duration.

  89. 89
    Sensible Bloke says:

    Engineer: thank you for a sensible and well-argued post. Such a pleasant change from the risible scribblings of the anal-fixated Lower Third around here.

  90. 90
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Every day is a bank holiday
    when your a piss soaked dolite sponging gay bastard tramp called TAT ?

  91. 91
    Engineer says:

    No problem. All we need to do is build more gas-fired and coal-fired stations, and use some of the power they generate to back-feed half of the wind turbines. They would thus become fans to keep the other half turning.

  92. 92
    Jabba the Cat says:

    “National Sick Service”

    I think you may have something there old boy…

  93. 93
    quelle suprise says:

    “A total of 410 disciplinary procedures have been recorded by the corporation since April 2006, with 11 employees rebuked for drug abuse – believed to be cocaine – and alcohol dependency.”

    Tell us something we don’t know Billy.

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve never seen a better use for an RPG.

  95. 95
    FIFA says:

    We’re honest. Just as honest as Labour.

  96. 96
    Shock,Awe and Total Indifference says:

    Unless the politicians are rock solid and accept that they will get opposition from “interest groups”,unions and media and stick to it they can try all they want but it won’t happen. The LibDems have already got cold feet for political reasons…the Coalition is not strong enough to push these reforms through so Cameron has two alternatives…abandon them to all intents and doubt if he does choose this option he will spin it that he has listened to concerns etc etc and risks losing his Health Secrteary which will foment more dissent on the Tory backbenches and open him to increased criticism of pandering to the LibDems from his right wing or he can push ahead daring the LibDems to pull the Coalition down and face electoral suicide and then go to the country but it would not be certain the Tories would win the election particularly as they would be probably fighting it on an issue that is extremely toxic to them…the NHS…the fact is that “Dave” has lost the argument in the country by allowing the LibDems/Clegg to make the running and given truth to the lie(also fomented by Labour)that the Tories are dismantling the NHS(it’s akin to trying to dis-estabilsh the Church of England)…the best Camerton can do is try and salvage what he can but this issue will seriously wound him if he continues with it……

  97. 97
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Well put, the old nursing skill sets dragged down to advanced shoe tying and basket weaving, whilst the bed pan has been replaced by the public sector employee bottomless begging bowl.

  98. 98
    Sensible Bloke says:

    Yes there are some nurses obssessed with qualifications and CV-polishing, though that’s true of a lot of industry new graduates.

    The elephant in the room is that they don’t want to take up this career, nursing, at all. Degrees, jobs in the city, foreign travel, company car, rapid promotion if you are easy on the eye.

    As a result more and more of our NHS nurses are “trained aboad” – a euphemisnm for Africa. You want a third world service, bring the third world here.

  99. 99
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Here is a picture of TAT with his only friend in the world

  100. 100
    Killer Cucumber says:

    Who’s got ‘a better’ stutter. Guido or Alexander?

  101. 101
    The laws of thermodynamics says:

    Oh bugger we’ve been exploded

  102. 102
    Dr. Suess says:

    Tat in a hat with a cat

  103. 103
    Dr. Suess says:

    see 100

  104. 104
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    ‘Anal fixated, lower tird’. Sounds like a case for Ma Coat on.

  105. 105
    Engineer says:

    There’s an argument for the saner countries in FIFA to dis-affiliate themselves and set up a rival world football organisation. Perhaps it could be called the Football Union.

  106. 106
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin says:

    I am packing my suitcases for my new job at the IMF in Washington.

  107. 107
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    I think Samcam is rather fit, especially compared to the vile Sarah Brown (Mrs Mong to you and me) and all the other socialist hags

  108. 108
    don't make me laugh says:

    Sorry, with that piss poor performance, you’ve both been downgraded to Les Dennis and Dustin Gee. Most disappointing.

  109. 109
    TAT says:

    50p for a cup of tea guv ?

  110. 110
    Chris Hoon says:

    I’m still trying to sort out who’s the lady.

  111. 111
    WEB ELLIS says:

    we already have one
    the Rugby Football Union

  112. 112
    Engineer says:

    Am I alone in thinking that propping up our own health service with skilled staff trained in less well-off countries (at those countries’ expense) is morally pretty dubious? Don’t those countries need their skilled staff as much as, or more than, we do?

  113. 113
    Sensible Bloke says:

    He would like to be at the helm, but it is the Conservatives Party’s job to ditch him as soon as possible, and find a credible candidate representing the Centre Right. Perhaps Geet Wilders is free. Or may be Sarah Palin fancies a sabbatical. It would be worth it just to watch the sistas foaming at the mouth.

  114. 114
    Groundhog Week says:

    Huhne’s heart monitor will be flatlining soon. Or is that just wishful thinking.

  115. 115
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    It’s odd this pretence that Mrs Cameron is somehow attractive. The same pretence, I suppose, we had to endure that Prince Charles was handsome. I think it’s called arse-licking.

  116. 116

    they must be fuckin desperate or starving !!

  117. 117

    and it’s got a boggie on it

  118. 118
    I'll have a P please Bob says:

    As I foretold you:

    “Chris Huhne’s estranged wife refused to tell police whether she took speeding points on his behalf because her children feared she would be sent to prison, it was claimed yesterday.

    It had been widely expected that Vicky Pryce would repeat allegations about the Energy Secretary that she appeared to have made to two Sunday newspapers.

    However, when interviewed by detectives last week she declined to give evidence against Mr Huhne amid concerns that she would incriminate herself and could be charged with conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.

    Her children, who are all adults, are believed to have pleaded with her not to give evidence amid concerns that both their parents could face criminal prosecution.”

    Just to remind the slower kids at the back: up to decree absolute of divorce she ain’t a compellable witness.

  119. 119
    Engineer says:

    Thank you, S.B.

    I know the politicians read this site avidly, and whilst my opinions are no more valid than those of the the other 61 million people in the country, it’s as good a way getting them across as any.

    I enjoy humour as much as the next bloke, and have been known to join in, but some of the comments on here do make you wonder a bit about the state of some minds. Guido has recently put quite a bit of effort into clearing out and blocking some of the worst offenders, and the comments section is much better for it.

  120. 120
    Postlethwaite says:

    More power to their elbow.

    Where i live, speed limits are constantly reduced, expensive looking flashing slow down signs are popping up everywhere and pot holes remain unrepaired.

  121. 121
    fat to electrons says:

    Why not get the NHS to issue exercise bikes equped with electric generators to all fatties? They could then convert their crisps, chips and pies into electricity and power the country.

  122. 122
    ST says:

    Much as I agree with your sentiment Engineer – and I do – there is one problem and that is the current NHS has encouraged the growth of super hospitals servicing large areas. There is no real choice between hospitals at the moment and therefore its difficult to see how competition could be introduced. Sure, if you are wealthy enough to have a car, or lucky enough to have a supportive family then you could conceivably travel but the heaviest users of the NHS are likely to be among the groups least likely to have those things.

    Ultimately competition is the best way to drive up standards, however, for the time being linking NHS executive pay to outcomes and patient satisfaction would be a good way of emulating the free market.

  123. 123
    equus says:

    There is certainly something of the equine about her.

  124. 124
    Engineer says:

    That’s the RFU. Perhaps there should be a…..

  125. 125
    Dogsbreath says:

    A good idea except the application always falls over.

    Not all drunks have £500.

    Why not charge the provider £500 every time a drunk turns up?

    There is poetry in that.

  126. 126
    Norwegian Blue Parrot says:

    If you think I am dead wait till you see the case against Huhne

    titter titter

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    At least we didn’t have to pretend anything with that munter Sarah Brown.

  128. 128
    Huhne free says:

    If there is no signed affidavit by Mrs Huhne then he is in the clear. Everyone knows he done it but no one can prove it.

  129. 129
    FFS says:

    What about Football’s Football Society?

  130. 130
    Anon says:

    That sounds very sensible, sensible bloke.

  131. 131
    Anon says:

    Not a tax, a fine.

  132. 132
    Anon says:

    Call it £350. Failure to pay results in 4 weeks in prison.

    You wouldn’t have to punish them often for them to get the message.

  133. 133
    Dave makes Brown look sane says:

    Ah, great. So this joke’s going to stay in the cabinet, jumping up and down on TV in front of an incredulous electorate?

    And Dave wants to be taken seriously?

  134. 134
    save Battersea power station. says:

    Did you know that electricity generated in Jockland that finds its way into a london house has lost over 20% of its energy by the time it gets there?

  135. 135
    Miss Terpraline says:

    Nailed to its perch. Smells fishy to me.

  136. 136
    Darwin in action says:

    ‘Bradford is very inbred’

    “Inbreeding among British Muslims is threatening the health of their children, a leading geneticist warned yesterday.”

  137. 137
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    at least we only have to see these “Cartoons” once a week :-)

  138. 138
    Para Sight says:

    I am told that Malaria can be very painful. Especially for white middle aged women.

  139. 139
    roofies 'r us says:

    The irony is that these pills were destined to spike some poor slappers driink.

  140. 140
    Sarah Brown says:

    I’m horny.

  141. 141
    Rufus T. Firefly says:

    Your name says it all

  142. 142
    sorted says:

    What about all the little brown babies being born to 13 year old white girls?

  143. 143

    My wife, who spent many years as a Therapy Radiographer at Guy’s Hospital, would agree with you 100%.

    Another cause of the problem was removing the difference between SRN and SEN and then making nursing into a degree fixated career.

    SRNs actually nursed while SENs emptied bedpans. Perhaps I exaggerate slightly but that was the basic premise.

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    If you’re not able to afford the course of therapy sessions to treat your sociopathic self regard we’ll all chip in. Oh no wait a minute, you’d never accept that would you?

  145. 145

    I’d have thought David Davis was not a bad choice..or even Lansley.

  146. 146
    Of course says:

    You been to an A&E in the last decade? I have. I noticed there’s always a disproportionate number of muslims in the waiting areas, the headscarfed women looking decrepit, the men in those gruesome long white skirts and beards, the kids sickly. It just didn’t seem right that they always outnumbered others by such a wide margin. And then I realised. That’s what you get from generation after generation of inter-marriage. You can do that for so long before it permanently poisons your gene pool, hence the frequency of visits to A&E with sick children or sick adults.

  147. 147
    Richard D. says:

    Jones argues elsewhere ad-nauseam that human evolution is over!!

    NB Prof. Evolution is omni-directional

  148. 148

    Yes, but I can have a little chuckle with them. With you I weep!

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    Strange how the MSM seem to have shut up about Huhne. You’d think they’d been leant on by Dave and his chums.

    Time for a new set of crosshairs Guido, these don’t seem to be working.

  150. 150
    Mornington Crescent says:

    The ‘authorities’ (ugh) already have the power to recover money owed from salaries or benefits. Dead easy.

  151. 151
    I says:

    So is a rhinoserous and a bloody sight better looking

  152. 152
    I says:

    Now which University Research Department will pick this one up and run with it.

  153. 153

    In Billy’s own words, “No ball.”

  154. 154
    True Story says:

    I walked into my local hospital once wearing a suit and a white lab coat, glasses and with a fake stethoscope well positioned not to give the game away, on the hunt for medical marijuana, needless to say I didn’t find any but I didn’t get asked any questions to what I was doing either.

    I was talking to a nice blonde nurse for ten minutes about what club she was going to later that night.

  155. 155
    I says:

    Prosecute him.
    Get her into court
    Make her swear on oath to tell the truth ……etc
    Damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t

  156. 156
    I says:

    Are you the one who removed my good testicle?

  157. 157
    Nurses in uniform says:

    But did you shag her? No point mentioning talking to a blonde babe if you didn’t bump uglies with her later.

  158. 158
    I says:

    MPs from Jockland loose 100% of theirs

  159. 159
    Lobster Throttler says:

    Thats why in Iran and Iraq and all the third world muslim shitholes the population are all fucking lunatics, and in Britain they all have motability cars as well and every benefit they can get and this costs us billions every year, the more cripples and loonys the more money they get, marrying you first cousin is illegal but these fuckers do it and the cowardly government lets them get away with it.

  160. 160
    Squirty says:

    Install an electric chair in every A&E department.


    Problem solved.

  161. 161
    I says:

    Bump uglies…..great phrase….brilliant education to be found on here. Last Friday I discovered ” plating ” or is it plateing?

  162. 162
    Selohesra says:

    When Huhne eventually gets sacked perhaps Nick Clegg could appoint Sepp Blatter as a Libdem peer – and try and bring some credibility and integrity to Libdem side of cabinet.

  163. 163
    Squirty says:

    >the bed pan has been replaced by the public sector employee bottomless begging bowl

    Now there’s an idea! Fill it with something other than money and watch the little piggies flee to the private sector.

  164. 164
    Selohesra says:

    Perhaps God/allah is solving the problem politicians are affraid to face.

  165. 165
    I says:

    Same with Fergie’s ugly sprogs. MSM as honest as Blatter

  166. 166

    So much for the lying fucker saying on tv
    that he would help the police with their questions !

  167. 167
    True fact says:

    Higher incidence of deafness too.

  168. 168
    True Story says:

    Not in the hospital but we did meet at a later date.

  169. 169
    don't make me laugh says:

    And you’re the bottom of the fucking pile, dipshit, it’s the Chuckle Brothers for you I’m afraid. Fucking wankpiece.

  170. 170
    Jabba the Cat says:

    Ah!, if only…

  171. 171
    Jabba the Cat says:

    “…bring some credibility and integrity to Libdem side of cabinet.”

    There is an oxymoron hiding in there somewhere…

  172. 172
    Muzees love their guns says:

    Can someone explain why muslims and their trendy leftie apologists call the west savage when we always see footage of muzbots firing guns into the air at random events? You see men, women and kids firing guns into the air at weddings, funerals, protest marches, anything. Are guns that easy to get in muhammadland? Even in America where the right to bear arms is in the constitution you don’t see that kind of random usage. I’ve never forgotten a news story years ago about an iranian wedding where a guest fired an AK at the ceiling in celebration which caused the ceiling to collapse and kill most of the wedding party.

  173. 173
    Cheryl Cole says:

    Wai aye pet! I doono why yowze don’t geet wha I sayeen like!

  174. 174
    I says:

    The bullets cost over a quid each. Also occasionally hear of a bullet passing through a person’s head on the way down

  175. 175
    Aunt Hilda says:

    agree largely with what you are saying engineer…the biggest problem with the NHS is scale…with such an enormous organisation achieving a balanced set of outcomes is almost impossible.

  176. 176
    Another Engineer says:

    A good idea. We could use them to blow any pollution over to France.

  177. 177
    Tony Blair says:

    Jesus he knows me
    And he knows I’m right
    I’ve been talking to jesus
    All my life

  178. 178
    I says:

    I always understood an oxymoron to be a PPE grad. from Oxford

  179. 179
    Further education says:

    Mark Oaten is a fan of the Cleveland Steamer.

  180. 180
    Aunt Hilda says:

    not going to happen and for the right reasons.

  181. 181
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Depending on calibre they can cost as little as 10 cents American
    MOD pays 6p per round from the yanks
    while other EU countries get them for as little as 2p per round
    must have something to do with our special relationship

  182. 182
    Benny Fitz says:

    A friend who works in benefit claims told me of an arab man newly arrived in London with his family who wanted to backdate his benefits to the year before he arrived! Naturally they refused.

  183. 183
    Gordon Brown says:

    Today I will be doing the same as when parliament is in session. Fuck all.

  184. 184
    Don't call me Shirley says:

  185. 185
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Yes very strange that they keep firing them in the direction of Allah
    Like in Libya
    If they fired them in the direction of the opposition
    the fuckin shebang might be over now

  186. 186
    Voice of Treason says:

    Don’t worry, the stupid twat Dave ‘foreign aid’ Cameron will make sure there’s enough of our taxes to pay for the bullets that are aimed at the West.

  187. 187
    Ed Milimong says:

    I’ve had a terrific honeymoon with Juthtine. We had a 69 on our wedding night. Thweet and thour pork. We thpent the retht of the weekend watching my entire box thet of Thtar Trek Deep Thpace Nine. I think I’ll make Labour’th new thlogan “Rethithtance ith futile”.

  188. 188
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Many years ago a friend of mine put on a long coat and trilby hat and walked into an indian curry house flashing his savers seven bus pass
    he said public health officer and asked to be shown to the kitchen where he made them throw all the pans of curry in the bin
    close for the night and had them all frantically scrubbing the walls and floors before leaving
    well done Con !

  189. 189

    Ooooh, got the rags on have we?

  190. 190
    Christ on a bike, Ed looks like a fucking mong when he grins says:

  191. 191
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    who can we hang today?

  192. 192
    Sharon Shoesmith is an evil cunt says:

    On Radio 4 the other day she yelled “I don’t do blame! I’m not in the blame game!” Really? Most people do you evil c unt. I hope you get your head kicked the fuck in.

  193. 193
    Ed says:

    I’m fatht and furiouth!

  194. 194
    Sepp Blatter, President, World Society of Friends of Suspenders says:

    I’ve always been in favour of suspensions – it’s my stocking trade.

  195. 195
    chuckle brothers fan says:

    Are you the drippy one?

  196. 196
    You have led a very sheltered life says:

    Why were you talking to Carina Trimmingham ?
    Trimming is also a good word look it up

  197. 197
    I says:

    Guido, you know a thing or two about bonfires. How many QUANGOs have been immolated so far?

  198. 198
    Shock,Awe and Total Indifference says:

    And Type 2 Diabetes

  199. 199
    Gordon Brown says:

    Did someone say Tango? I love fizzy orange.

  200. 200
    Aunt Hilda says:

    no politician likes tinkering with the NHS for the very reason that it is always contentious with competing opinions all seeing different ways forward. Over the longer term the NHS will steadily improve but without continual renewal the pace will vary. Brave to keep trying but labour proved throwing money at it isn’t the answer and restructuring management systems and numbers will always drag on performance outcomes.

  201. 201
    Useless fact says:

    More than 60% of married couples have similar size / shape noses.

    They are now part of the majority

  202. 202

    I will be having new conference later to confirm that nobody saw me give million dollars to Caribbean football union so i is innocent

  203. 203
    Dave "I promise to scrap Quangos" Camoron says:

    Er, more or less none.

  204. 204
  205. 205

    If you dont give me my job back i’m going to start a “Dirty Protest” !

  206. 206

    And did he answer?

  207. 207
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    free head?

  208. 208
    Tessa Tickles says:

    I hope her feeble civil-servant mind thinks it a good idea to go on a spending-spree. I hope she maxes-out her cr*edit cards and then has her compensation quashed, leaving her destitute for the rest of her pitiful and useless life.

  209. 209

    He’s not a follower you fucking Dumb Cluck
    he’s just saying “Hello Numpty”

  210. 210
    Tessa Tickles says:

    See next comment down.

  211. 211
    Nemo says:

    What goes on at Murdocher’s Sky or the greater news international group, some of those Fox people must be on something, mind Dubyah used to an alcholic (to his credit he is off that) even snow has been mentioned, I say everything in moderation.

  212. 212
    Tessa Tickles says:

    Looks like he forgot to turn left at Albaquerque.

  213. 213


    He is a typical example of what NewLab wanted the NHS to be – they threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth.

  214. 214
    Tessa Tickles says:

    He didn’t get a chance to get a word in.

  215. 215
    Anonymous says:

    Way too good looking to be tat.

  216. 216
    Carry on Doctor says:

    Well of course…all nurses dream of marrying a doctor(even a fake one in your case)….I remember forays into the forbidden harem of the nurses home well…once you got past the Senior Sister downstairs who clocked all the males in and out max stay 10 mins….. you were well away (as long as you weren’t on call that is)although you normally had to shin down the drainpipe to get out as the the doors were always kept locked and the key kept by the said watchdog downstairs…………

  217. 217
    Tessa Tickles says:

    She might bite.

  218. 218
    chuckle brothers fan says:

    No, you’re the drippy one.

  219. 219
    Gordon Brown says:

    Can I be prime minister again?

  220. 220

    Call it feline intuition…

  221. 221
    Nemo says:

    And the NHS can tax private hospitals as a payment towards training doctors and nurses

  222. 222
    I says:

    You haven’t finished your first one yet

  223. 223
    prick stick says:

    Of course, once your chat up lines worked they’re magic, she was yours for the taking.

  224. 224
    Mark Oaten says:

    Did someone call?

  225. 225

    I hope other sites follow Guido’s lead and block their Twitter boxes.

    Talk about wanting to have the penny and the bun.

  226. 226
    Yvette Cooper says:

    Every night I have Balls in my mouth.

  227. 227
    How about you just stick your head in a compactor? says:

  228. 228

    Here’s one for you Schrodingers Cat

  229. 229
    Moley says:

    Conservative Councillors in Bexley set up a website to smear the council’s critics.

  230. 230
    smoggie says:

    The FIFA “ethics” committee has as much credibility as the Gestapo’s Health & Safety department.

  231. 231
    Nemo says:

    Engineer, I bet you would rather employ an experienced apprentice trained fitter/electrician with ONC/HNC than someone who comes straight out university waving a 1-1 infront of your nose ie practice as well as theory.

  232. 232
    Number 10's Cat says:

    That cat’s got nouse.
    Greetings SC

  233. 233

    Oh, thanks for that. So when soon can we make him our PM then?

    Hey, I’ve got to go to Italy tomorrow. I’ll pop in on Papa Ratzi and ask him if he can be beatified, no need to wait for painful death, or any of that old nonsense. The bloke is a brick…

    … shithouse.

  234. 234
    smoggie says:

    I think politicians scan the site for their names. Some are horrified to see it; some are horrified if they do not.

  235. 235
    Schrodingers Twat, big tit says:

    I’ve got bigger tits than her FFS.

  236. 236
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron’s making the right decision but for the wrong reasons. The GP’s need to be put back in their boxes – salaries doubled and hours reduced by at least a third under labour. That’s one self interest group that needs dismantling not given more powers.

    BTW just read that suspected murderer and scumbag labour adviser to Blunkett and Clarke has committed suicide. Labour attracts murderers – proof!

  237. 237

    Was this her ?

  238. 238
    smoggie says:


    is a word

  239. 239
    Seriously tho. says:

    Give a man a fishing rod and………….
    Give em cash and they buy Mercs
    Give em a Goat and they eat it.
    Give em a bike and they can get a job ( HT N Tebbit )

  240. 240

    Lіstеn sоnny, І dоn’t cаrе оnе hооt аbоυt yоυ – іt’s yоυr fаthеr І fееl sо sоrry fоr.

    350 mіllіоn spеrm аnd hе hаd tо gеt а cυnt lіkе yоυ.

  241. 241
    Nemo says:

    Where is Guido and his team only the “cartoon” this morning.

  242. 242
    TATS MUM says:

    Correction You ARE a bigger TIT than that TAT !

  243. 243
    Nemo says:

    Is requested in most job aderts, applicants must have a valid driving licence

  244. 244
    The Fuckle Brothers says:

    Why don’t you and your boyfriend Catobitesback get a room FFS, it’s embarrasing how you’re all over each over? Yuk!

  245. 245
    Nemo says:

    That’s “laughing boy’s” old constituency isn’t it

  246. 246
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Wheres the beef?

  247. 247
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I will make her take her teeth out first :-)

  248. 248
    Nemo says:


  249. 249
    tat a prat rat says:

    Time to give your boy a good rimming mum, he’s just got out of his wankpit.

  250. 250
    Spank Sinatra says:

    23,999 morons require one further moron to share in the life of a true moron?

  251. 251
    Nemo says:

    Ans 2 veg Bill, where is Guido and friends, hpoe he has got something worth the holdup

  252. 252
    Gordon spurned says:

    Me all alone behind the Abbey

  253. 253
    cuпterbury tails says:

    I’ve just impacted her shagpile something shocking.

  254. 254
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Guido in pub most likely :-)

  255. 255
    Arthur Wellesley says:

    I’ve given it the boot.

  256. 256
    Damien McSnide says:

    Surprised you’re not stalking him down the Westminster Arms Billy. Whatever you do, don’t spill his fucking pint.

  257. 257
    Sportsdesk says:

    Isn’t it about time Murray “crashed out” of something?

  258. 258
    Should have gone to says:

    1/2 Price Laser Eye Surgery ( below )

    Gorgon get them to do the other one, it’ll be free

  259. 259
    H'uhne says:

    Working on an instant bestseller about how they brought about my downfall

  260. 260
    TATS MUM says:

    I’ll wash his rude bits later !

  261. 261
  262. 262
    Schrodingers Snatch says:

    Has anyone seen my pussy?

    Does anyone want to see my pussy?

  263. 263
    annette curton says:

    To switch from the illiterate to the innumerate what’s an 0% increase?, is it technical jargon used by International Banking fraudsters.

  264. 264
    Moley says:

    There has to be something rotten about the Constituency that gave the world Edward Heath.

    It looks as if Damian McBride is alive and well and has joined Bexley Conservatives.

  265. 265
    twat a twat tat says:

    ……with your tongue.

  266. 266
    stevep says:

    and mutant, inbred children of muslims marrying their own sisters etc should just be put in the zoo where we can all have a laugh

  267. 267
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Shock, Awe etc:

    You appear to have run out of full stops. Here are some spares:
    . . . . . . .

  268. 268
    TATS MUM says:

    TAT ! come and rub mummy’s rude bits !

  269. 269
    GAZZA says:

    Give a man a fishing rod and….WHAT ?
    He’ll go fishing ?
    He’ll catch fish ?
    He’ll sell it ?
    He’ll get shot ?


  270. 270
    annette curton says:

    Isn’t that Mrs Schilling?.

  271. 271
    Irishman says:

    And why has he got Tree cuff-links?

  272. 272
    Sicko says:

    Schrödinger’s Cat may be interested to know that the first Qubit-based computer has just been sold to a leading military contractor.

  273. 273
    Laughing at you says:

    Sounds like runny bottom time for tat

  274. 274
    Sicko says:

    Doctor Liam Fox was on manoeuvres last weekend.

  275. 275
    Ignorant LibDem MP, friend of Drug Dealers, from Portsmouth says:


  276. 276
    Cameron makes Brown look sane says:

    It’s an old saying. Give a man a fish and he’ll feed his family for a day, then he’ll come back for more fish. Give a man a fishing rod, and he can feed his family himself, no need for futher handouts.

    To put it in a contemporary happy clappy Cameron context, “give Pah Kiss Tan £650million of our money so they can educate some girls for four years, and they’ll p!ss it all away on nuclear weapons. Give them SFA and they’ll have to cut their own multi-billion pound defence bud*get and spend their own money on education.

  277. 277
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    I am a much better candidate to be made a LibDem Peer, than Sepp Blatter.

  278. 278
    The name is Cock, Handycock says:

    The name is Cock, Handycock. How about it, now you are free Cheryl?

  279. 279
    Tessa Tickles says:

    They might be her own, real, teeth.

    If so, remove them yourself, with a hammer or a bedside lamp. Preferably from the back of her head.

  280. 280
    UNITE says:

    He definately scrapped the Labour Donations on behalf of the taxpayer quango. Also known as the Union Modernisation Fund!

  281. 281
    Squarehead says:

    You lot never heard of Olly Cromwell;s blog then? Have a gander

  282. 282
  283. 283
    The times they are a'changin' says:

    And here’s another issue of public concern that Cameron and his band of happy hippies has got badly wrong……so after 12 months in power and he’s already losing his core vote in his attempts to change his party into the LibDems….people are more concerned about effing potholes than overseas aid…it may be parochial…it may be short-sighted …but it’ll lose you the election “Dave” along with your botched NHS reforms and your Libyan adventure….so when you manage to drag youself back from Ibizia you’d better sort it…fast

  284. 284
    Shock,Awe and Total Indifference says:

    He’s practising for Wimbledon…….he wouldn’t want to win

  285. 285
    Anonymous says:

    Engineer @112~ It’s a trade-off perhaps;we take their skilled workers whilst their unskilled come here to take our low paid & dirty jobs, plus any welfare benefit entitlements.

  286. 286
    Selohesra says:

    If she goes for compensation then presumably he is blaning someone for dismissing her without going throgh the correct forms and proceses

  287. 287
    I don't do blame says:

    Baby P didn’t die in vane. I stand to make £Millions

  288. 288
    I don't do blame says:

    And Oh, lessons have been learned. ( by other Social Service Directors ) Get them to sack you.

  289. 289

    @First Cat:
    Hi fellow traveller!

    @ Sicko:
    At present levels of development, we shall all have these in place of notebooks within 10 years and in phones shortly thereafter.

    And they will deal properly with Hawaiian, Tagalog etc. of course.

  290. 290
    Coronation Chicken says:

    Are Brown and Blatter related? I think we should be told.

  291. 291
    Anonymous says:

    Is a “geneticist” a synonym for “racist”?

  292. 292
    David Blunkett says:

    I have never seen a more honest looking man than Sepp Blatter

  293. 293
    Workmen outside our house says:

    “Thanks for the three cups of tea on a tray.”

    My wife asked them to repeat it many times over before she understood

  294. 294
    Anonymous says:

    It’s neither of those I says, it’s plaiting; you should have gone to Specsavers.

  295. 295
    I says:

    Looks like Homer has sprouted another finger

  296. 296
    Pundit says:

    “Murray expected to face Troicki”
    Should be tricky

  297. 297
    girlie football fan says:

    We feel fuckin stupid now !
    Reading 0- Swansea 3 and its not half time yet

  298. 298
    girlie football fan says:

  299. 299
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    KK-TWEETLE!!! (scuff) (squit)

  300. 300
    Shhh says:

    Knock knock

    Who’s there

  301. 301

    I know nothing !

  302. 302
    Silent Bob says:


  303. 303
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    300th :-)

  304. 304
    Silent Bob Roberts says:
  305. 305
    Cheryl Cole says:

    Wey hey pet. I doont gow with Pervs.

  306. 306
    Voice of Treason says:

    News Item: Executive pay has risen 30% in the last year.

    So much for twat Cameron’s “We’re all in it together.” Oh I forgat – he meant all the millionaires are in it together – fucking Tory c-u-n-t-s.

  307. 307
    Don't know how to post photos says:

    Berlusconi and Blatter are identical twins

  308. 308
    Looking for tit a tat twat says:

    Has TaT recovered yet from shaving his pubic hair off?

  309. 309
    I says:

    Your either ahead of Guido or behind

  310. 310
    I says:

    He’s just doing the other one

  311. 311
    spandangler says:

    just the tip of the iceburger my friends!

  312. 312
    Raving Loon says:

    It’s pointless trying to reform something that is a vestage of unrecontructed socialism. Only 2 other nations (even including those which have “universal healthcare”) have our system, namely Cuba and N.Korea. Except perhaps Somalia and 19th century field hospitals, we have arguably the worst medical system in the world. It will never change…ever. It will only get more expensive and offer a worse service as time goes on until either:

    a) we go bankrupt trying to pay for it
    b) accept that central planning of goods and services always fails and disband the NHS.

  313. 313
    Chris Huhne says:

    You, Jeremy Thorpe, Mark oaten and I will all one day be in the House of Lords, Mike. Boaz.

  314. 314
  315. 315
    nell says:

    I see gordon is in am er i ca talking to piers morgan whilst sarah is swanning around it aly.

    When are this couple ever at home? And how much is gordon’s security detail costing us as he keeps wafting endlessly and worthlessly around the world?!

  316. 316
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    3-2 now, still 30 mins to go

  317. 317
    Moley says:

    This is worth reading too;

    Abuse of credit cards by councillors and council employees is topical just now.

    “Credit card statements were checked by Junior staff”.

  318. 318
    A Future Civil War says:

    Please save some of your anger regarding these economy wrecking idiots, for retardEd Miliband. He and now Huhne, have set in motion our future poverty, whilst sanity looked on in disbelief.
    Is there anybody with an ounce of common sense left within the three main parties?

  319. 319

    @ The Fuckle Brothers.

    And what did your last audience die of?…Terminal boredom was it?

  320. 320
    Chris Huhne says:

    It’s not that easy bein’ green;
    Having to spend each day the color of the leaves.
    When I think it could be nicer being red, or
    yellow or gold-
    or something much more colourful  like that.

  321. 321

    Well we are both Godfathers of our respective “families”

  322. 322
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Nell, I think your gonna have to face it – this nasty ‘socialist’ freak is goning to take, take, take from the British taxpayer without giving a thing in return untill he lands the important international job he craves (and thinks he deserves). Then and only then will he give up his shafting of the populace.

  323. 323
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Cricket getting intresting , Sri Lanka 37-4

  324. 324
    nell says:

    As long as he doesn’t think any of us endorse his purposeless globetrotting.

    As for that international job , the imf won’t have him, fifa doesn’t want him and cameron wants to give the wto job due next year to mandy.

    Only thing that seems to be left is bag carrying for bliar (another worthless useless globetrotter) around the mid dle ea st.

  325. 325
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    He could always retire to the socailist paradise of …………

  326. 326
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    43-5 , Might sneak a win here.

  327. 327
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    OMG 43-6 now .

    Sorry Guido :-)

  328. 328
    Bob R says:

    It seems that she has rarther belatedly twigged that she would be in the poo too, if she carried on. However, it may now be too late to save herself. It would seem that the police can prove that she wasn’t driving (L.S.E. etc. (quite a memorable event, I would have thought)). So, they can prove that she has wilfuly & knowingly made a false statement that she was driving (S5(b) Perjury Act 1911). Without any evidence form her or CH, it will be much harder to prove the PCoJ by either, or the conspiracy. Whilst CH will have made a false statement, can they prove that he did it wilfully and knowingly? Therefore, the case against CH would seem to turn on them being able to raise a case to answer, and then rely on the court making an adverse inference.

  329. 329

    N e ll is th ere s o mth ing wr o ng with yo ur spa ce bar ?

  330. 330
    Labour's green policies in theory and practice says:

    “as he keeps wafting endlessly and worthlessly around the world”

    That’s surely not the same Gordon Brown who “committed the UK to reducing carbon dioxide emissions by 60% before 2050 to help tackle global warming.” ?

  331. 331
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    43-7 Come on England!!!!!

  332. 332
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Nell Trying to beat the auto Mod.

  333. 333
    Tony Blair Millionaire says:

    Go away, peasant.

  334. 334

    Why has nobody brought a criminal prosecution against Brown the freeloading fucker, for fraud ?
    Why doesn’t Call me useless Dave question it in the house ?
    is it because they all piss in the same pot ?

  335. 335
    Shock,Awe and Total Indifference says:

    But Cameron & Osborne are right…….We ARE all in it together……….the S*H*I*T…..

  336. 336
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:


    1 and half days play lost to rain

  337. 337

    Brown gets his eye surgery at the marble factory

  338. 338
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Ahm but here’s the rub: with socialist policy and actions, the end justifies the means.

    So . . . when Mc mental does land that ‘top’ job, just think of all the good he will do.

    He’ll be, err, that’s to say he’ll do, erm . .

  339. 339
    Bartholomew - George Osborne's teddy says:

    So unlike our dear Newcastle, where the rain falls everywhere and pretty much all the time.

  340. 340
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    So now we have a welsh team in the ENGLISH premier league, Its not Cricket!

  341. 341

    I’m not well
    i’m too ill to travel
    let me stay here
    i don’t want to go to the hague
    they might put me in prison
    i was fit as a fiddle last week
    i haven’t murdered anyone for years now
    it’s not fair
    what about my human rights
    i have rights you know

  342. 342
    Bartholomew - George Osborne's teddy says:

    Lets be completely clear.The NHS is nothing to do with health – its an essential source of nurses uniforms for the Friday night meetings of the Conservative S&M Club and Max Moseley Appreciation Society.

  343. 343
    50 Calibre says:

    There is not a large organisation on the planet that really works very well.

    Why should the NHS be any different?

    When Dave & Co realise this reality and break the system down into manageable chunks, it might start to work for the poor old patient and cost one hell of a lot less…

  344. 344
    Jacqui Hancock says:

    Leave my husband alone!

  345. 345
    South London Purveyor of Dodgy Stuff says:

    Wanna buy a forgery? Only £100 nicker, looks just like the real thing, any address you want.

  346. 346
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    He’s not trying to turn the party into the Lib-Dim party, he is trying to recreate the SDP with a fuzzy blue and green tree.

  347. 347
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    82-9, Just over 20 overs left 9lose 2 for change of innings if needed)

  348. 348
    Killer Cucumber, my 20 mins of fame says:

    Showing in the West End next week

    “The Day of The Killer Cucumber”

    Starring Lettuce Leaf, Robbie Raddish, Tommy Tomato and Spanish Pee

  349. 349
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    England win by a Innings and 14 runs.

    What a game!

  350. 350

    Come to the UK
    We will give you benefits
    Scotland will give you even more
    We always protect those who are rich or prominent
    with public money
    rather than the ordinary person
    who we need to oppress
    You look the right type
    You would fit in nicely with our politicos
    And keep the masses at bay.
    Your grievances
    look genuine.
    Choose us – please.

  351. 351
    Top Ten Methods of avoiding penury: Number ONE says:

    This is the way to do it and beat the economic downturn–deposit-box-Harrods.html

  352. 352

    with beards

  353. 353
    The Fuckle Brothers says:

    Ooh ‘ark at ‘er, she’s not been the same Schrodingers twat gave her an extra large dose of pussy breath.

  354. 354
    Anonymous says:

    is this all you got today?

  355. 355
    Anonymous says:

    All down to your support Billy

  356. 356
    MARK OATEN (Shit Breath to my friends) says:

    Mmmmmmmm arse licking !

  357. 357
    Sue pekins hate gerkins says:

    “millionaires” well didn’t see any suffering under the last shower of sh*t either so Labour are C*-ts as well by your standards ! good that agreed then !

  358. 358
    MARK OATEN (Shit Breath to my friends) says:

    A big Plus One !

  359. 359
    I says:

    Have a quick word with Shoesmith. If se can get off with it you can

  360. 360
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Tis a blank holiday in hounor of Edward Miliband making a honest woman of Justine.

  361. 361
    Tell it like it really is says:

    How long before the ever shrinking band of people, WHO PAY TAX, not all the cash in hand, deal in cash brigade, finally decide to revolt? It cannot be far off given that the burden of free loaders, illegals, benefit spongers is totally out of control……

    ……….Censorship by the govt, bbc, that is now being perpetrated on a massive scale is going to be under more and more pressure as economic reality bites………..withdrawal from the EU now, pressure Our Dave to stop immigration, as he promised, I recall, instead he’s increased it.

  362. 362

    Tea time and the Twitter ‘t’ is still empty. What are words worth?

    Оh! plеаsаnt еxеrcіsе оf hоpе аnd jоy!
    Fоr mіghty wеrе thе аυxіlіаrs whіch thеn stооd
    Upоn оυr sіdе, wе whо wеrе strоng іn lоvе!
    Blіss wаs іt іn thаt dаwn tо bе аlіvе,
    Bυt tо bе yоυng wаs vеry hеаvеn! – Оh! tіmеs,
    Іn whіch thе mеаgrе, stаlе, fоrbіddіng wаys
    Оf cυstоm, lаw, аnd stаtυtе, tооk аt оncе
    Thе аttrаctіоn оf а cоυntry іn rоmаncе!
    Whеn Rеаsоn sееmеd thе mоst tо аssеrt hеr rіghts,
    Whеn mоst іntеnt оn mаkіng оf hеrsеlf
    А prіmе Еnchаntrеss – tо аssіst thе wоrk,
    Whіch thеn wаs gоіng fоrwаrd іn hеr nаmе!
    Nоt fаvоυrеd spоts аlоnе, bυt thе whоlе еаrth,
    Thе bеаυty wоrе оf prоmіsе, thаt whіch sеts
    (Аs аt sоmе mоmеnt mіght nоt bе υnfеlt
    Аmоng thе bоwеrs оf pаrаdіsе іtsеlf)
    Thе bυddіng rоsе аbоvе thе rоsе fυll blоwn.
    Whаt tеmpеr аt thе prоspеct dіd nоt wаkе
    Tо hаppіnеss υnthоυght оf? Thе іnеrt
    Wеrе rоυsеd, аnd lіvеly nаtυrеs rаpt аwаy!
    Thеy whо hаd fеd thеіr chіldhооd υpоn drеаms,
    Thе plаyfеllоws оf fаncy, whо hаd mаdе
    Аll pоwеrs оf swіftnеss, sυbtіlty, аnd strеngth
    Thеіr mіnіstеrs, – whо іn lоrdly wіsе hаd stіrrеd
    Аmоng thе grаndеst оbjеcts оf thе sеnsе,
    Аnd dеаlt wіth whаtsоеvеr thеy fоυnd thеrе
    Аs іf thеy hаd wіthіn sоmе lυrkіng rіght
    Tо wіеld іt; – thеy, tоо, whо, оf gеntlе mооd,
    Hаd wаtchеd аll gеntlе mоtіоns, аnd tо thеsе
    Hаd fіttеd thеіr оwn thоυghts, schеmеrs mоrе mіld,
    Аnd іn thе rеgіоn оf thеіr pеаcеfυl sеlvеs; –
    Nоw wаs іt thаt bоth fоυnd, thе mееk аnd lоfty
    Dіd bоth fіnd, hеlpеrs tо thеіr hеаrt’s dеsіrе,
    Аnd stυff аt hаnd, plаstіc аs thеy cоυld wіsh;
    Wеrе cаllеd υpоn tо еxеrcіsе thеіr skіll,
    Nоt іn Utоpіа, sυbtеrrаnеаn fіеlds,
    Оr sоmе sеcrеtеd іslаnd, Hеаvеn knоws whеrе!
    Bυt іn thе vеry wоrld, whіch іs thе wоrld
    Оf аll оf υs, – thе plаcе whеrе іn thе еnd
    Wе fіnd оυr hаppіnеss, оr nоt аt аll!

  363. 363
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    If we can sneak out a win from a draw, I’ll raise a glass to you, Billy old bean!

  364. 364
    Infuriated of West Mids says:

    Oops – just caught up with the score!

    Well done, Billy! Chin chin! *chink*

  365. 365
    Silent Bob says:



    F U C K ‪ ‪ ‪ ‪ ‪ ‪  O F F ! ! !


  366. 366
    Coronation Chicken says:

    OED: “To blatter: origin: 1545–55; < Latin blaterāre to prate, babble; use and spelling probably altered by association with other expressive verbs ending in -er….."

  367. 367
    Major Paddy says:

    None,sadly here in Birmingham several researchers have been highlighting this for at least 20 years-result -largely accusations of racism-also it is common for an unemployed mecca-nodder to have two or three families on the benefit system,and yes the Beano Agency is aware-its their culture innit

  368. 368
  369. 369
    Concrete Pump says:

    Any truth in the rumour that Chris Huhne is taking on Sepp Blatter to be elected as FIFA President ?

  370. 370
    Mark Oaten says:

    Who’d like to try my swedish meatballs?

  371. 371
    Major Paddy says:

    Tony still aint listening

  372. 372
    AnGela Merkel says:

    Eat your heart out Monbiot, we are scrapping them.

    Maybe we’ll burn some more coal to keep our economy on track. That suit you Greenies?

  373. 373
    Major Paddy says:

    Yep,good ole Sal,keep thousands of sarcastic cynics like myself in cheap ammo,you go girl-;

  374. 374
    Horny handed son of toil says:

    Yeah, just like I would link public company chief executive pay to the performance of the share price with bonuses being paid in shares!

    Bastards getting rewarded despite driving down the value of their companies.

  375. 375
    jay and the real silent bob strike back says:

    And you can fuck off too Bob, you sulky cuпt.

  376. 376
    Huhne-acus says:

    I’m Huhne-acus!

  377. 377
    smoggie says:

    That’s why you were given a big nose, Blunkie.

  378. 378
    laughing boy says:

    So this is the sort of site you get off on you sick peedo fuck?

  379. 379
    Shock,Awe and Total Indifference says:

    Absolutely bizarre performance by Blatter….. now that was the best news conference I’ve heard in many a long day….Blatter dismissed the FA and Triesmann accustaions in about one sentence…nuthin’ to see here move on ….the UK hacks almost staged a riot at the end as Sepp came back to lecture them for stirring up a crisis. What Crisis ? he said adding at the end that when he was a journalist if they said the press conference we was finished hesaid Thank You and left and you should now do the same(subtext: now fuck off you english shit stirrers)Absolutely hilarious as dear old Sepp looks forward to another 4 years in the job…the journos never laid a glove on him…..

  380. 380
    smoggie says:

    There’s an excellent wet fish market in Swansea but fuck all else. Thank god for Sky.

  381. 381
    augustine the hippo says:

    #thelongerthebetter, wonder what that refers to?

  382. 382
    roger the lodger says:

    Billy’s usually underneath getting a good rogering.

  383. 383

    Breaking news
    Germany will close ALL it’s nuclear power stations by 2022
    where as call me Dave wants more to be built
    the solution will be
    for the Germans to build their nuclear power stations Here and cable the electricity back to Germany
    exactly what the french do now !

    Daves Dustbin of Europe

  384. 384
    lava bread? says:

    I bet you go for the fresh cockles every time smogs

  385. 385
    support your local meat and two veg says:

    What’s that, some sort contraption to keep his balls in check?

  386. 386
    Major Paddy says:

    liverpools full

  387. 387
    spot the oxymoron says:

    “Cricket getting intresting”

  388. 388
    Crime Watch says:

    Surely the FA has to withdraw from FIFA now.

  389. 389
    Monty says:

    Fuck the Krauts.

  390. 390
    Colonel Blimp says:

    This royal throne of kings, this scepter’d isle,

    This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,

    This other Eden, demi-paradise,

    This fortress built by Nature for herself

    Against infection and the hand of war,

    This happy breed of men, this little world,

    This precious stone set in the silver sea,

    Which serves it in the office of a wall,

    Or as a moat defensive to a house,

    Against the envy of less happier lands,

    This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England

    From Richard II, Act 2 (Shakespeare)

  391. 391
    Moley says:

    Germany has plenty of cheap coal.

    No good for wind or tidal power.

    Funny how the EU is making us close most of our coal fired power stations.

  392. 392
    One day we might see one of Dave's polcies last almost a whole week says:

    Look on the bright side – Dave’s plan to make Britain the most eco-friendly EU “state” had a caveat that the rest of the EU had to keep up with us.

    Germany’s already signalled it’s going to go CO2-crazy. Dave has to abandon his plan (thank f*uck). And after only .. 4 days?

  393. 393
    Anonymous says:

    A friend taught in a primary school in a largely muslim area a few years ago and was staggered at the number of kids suffering from the kind of genetic problems the professor has pointed out. It’s not racist, it’s a fact.

  394. 394
    Class M-3 Model B9 General Utility Non-Theorizing Environmental Control Robot says:

    A decent enough cove but he has a touch of the turquoise tracksuit about him…

  395. 395
    why am I paying my f-ing licence fee? says:

    Can someone explain to me why the BBC 24 hour news channel has been showing the 2001 election coverage all day today?
    Even ten years ago it was only interesting to a tiny minority of the population.

  396. 396
    The campaign for real Silent Bobs says:


  397. 397

    I got a tweet from Labour. So being a bank holiday with time to spare I designed them a new logo and tweeted it back to them. don’t know if they’ll take it up, but fingers crossed.

  398. 398
  399. 399
    Coronation Chicken says:

    Indeed, reminiscent of Brown’s hooning gurn to video that turned out to be so disastrous. Very bad idea to piss off the press like that. He would also have done better to keep everyone else in the tent pissing out, rather than the other way around. I only mention this (nod to Gweed) because of the strange parallels with McCavity. They could be twins, although dear old Septic is of course, much older…. time to hang up his boots!

  400. 400
    Princess says:

    They are all nutters.

  401. 401
    sandown says:

    Back on the original topic of NHS reform, no-one in the public sector ever wants to be reformed. All they want is bigger handouts from the tax-payer, and no questions asked about what happens to the enormous sums they get already.

    And when they receive their increased handouts, as they almost invariably do, these are described as “cuts”, or else as “savage cuts”. Or even as “savage cuts by hard uncaring Thatcher — oh dear, she won’t be around much longer as a hate-figure — well, better make the most of her while we can … ”

    And all this parasitic snivelling is eagerly promoted by the BBC, the Goebbels of the public sector.

    So let’s start by privatising the BBC, and work backwards from there.

  402. 402

    That’s because they still run on English coal
    once they close down
    we will be allowed to build the new generation
    of German coal fired ones
    that’s the EU way

  403. 403

    For years we have been told that the world cup is devalued if England arn’t there
    so that being the case ,lets let it be known that we intend to withdrawer
    and see if any of the other major federations will follow suit
    it could even be the begining of the end for FIFA which has got to be the most corrupt organisation on earth
    It could even lead to the formation of a new woprld body which would have to be more accountable !

  404. 404
    Anonymous says:

    After you with the Krauts Monty.

  405. 405
    Voice of Treason says:

    Can’t see if it makes much difference. England are never there for very long in any case.

  406. 406
    Voice of Treason says:

    Executive pay up by 30% last year. Sharon Shoestring responsible as head of department for the death of baby Peter – to be awarded hundreds of thousands. This is England today a cesspit place wher the rich get richer and responsibility is a dirty word.

    Bob Crow – do your best to fuck up these bastards and get what you can out of this government for your members because it seems all the top guys are just screwing us.

  407. 407
    Sensible Bloke says:

    And the NHS can pay back the rest of the world for the training of all the foreign trained staff it employs? Very sensible. I missed the bit where the state “owns you” and so can charge for anything thereafter that you do, to claw back some imaginary cost of training. Junior doctors are paid salaries.Training in service. Whiich bit does the State own?

    This is another tired old anti-private sector argument that goes back to Barbara Castle days.

  408. 408
    Thats News says:

    Looks like the twaddle that Steve Bell does.

Seen Elsewhere

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Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
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“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times
New Tory, New Danger | Laura Perrins
UKIP Could Work With Dave If Price is Right | Douglas Carswell
Cops Catch Crims With B.O. Test | Techno Guido
Bashir’s “False Account” to His Own Lawyers | Times
Injustice of Tax Avoidance Hysteria | City AM

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