Friday Caption Contest (Wed Ed Edition)
Balls Calls for Deeper Cuts | Speccie
Lessons from the Thirties | CPS
PMQs Idiots | Harry Cole
Jon Cruddas is Not the Messier | Dan Hodges
We Should Honour Victims | Bob Blackman
Bad Al Campbell Spinning for Portland | PR Week
HuffPo’s House Jihadi | Washington Free Beacon
Osborne Gets His Soundbite | Nick Robinson
Moonbat versus Chomsky | Charles Crawford
Beecroft is “S**t” | LibDem MP
News of the World Trailed Watson’s Mistaken Mistress | Indy
Shabana Mahmood MP Saves Brum Market | ITV News
Plan a Velvet Divorce for the €uro | Gideon Rachman
Truth About Romney’s Bain “Vampire Capitalism” | Wall Street Journal
Clegg’s Revenge | Nick Wood
Cleaning Out Stables | Biased BBC
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Iran’s military chief-of-staff, Major General Hassan Firouzabadi…
“The Iranian nation is standing for its cause and that is the full annihilation of Israel”.
The last Quango in Paris says:
Mr Bryant and Mr Watson managing to make the whole hacking affair look like a farce – the more they moan the less I care about the whole subject! So partisan it beggars belief at all costs. They cannot rise above it ! If I was to call the PM a ‘liar’ I would want to be VERY sure.
“Ed and Justine recreate famouse lennon and yoko Ono scene”
A nice pair of tits, even if the one on the right looks a bit dorky.
Photo evidence of Miliband super conjunction……………..
Thats because he only likes left tits
Man dead after Fishermead shooting is named
http://www.miltonkeynes.co.uk/news/local/man_dead_after_fishermead_shooting_is_named_1_2720429
Somalia = totally lawless country
Somalian community = Totally lawless community !
And Still They Come !
One down about 600k more to go.
And STILL we let them in Frankie!
Bold off.
Or not ….. Bold off now?
Try living in Shepherds Bush mate. It’s a lot more Mogadishu than MK i can tell you.
Lot of pirates down there eh?
two down now
yes, she does have a nice pair of tits – the Miliband bros.
Giggsy would.
So would I.
Miliband has BOTH arms at his sides? Come on, man, at least grab her arse and show some enthusiasm!
Right now, it almost looks as if you didn’t want to be there and it was a put-up political job!
he does look rather uncomfortable doesn’t he?
Very
I bet he kisses like a dead fish..
Don’t knock what you haven’t tried.
She is kissing a shop dummy. Well, it’s a dummy of some kind…
It’s a frame up, damn that bastard Fawkes!
It does look like a bit of a “…whatever love means…” moment. Did they ask Saif Gaddafi?
He should take a leaf out of Daves book, remember he groped Sam on their way into No 10 for the first time !
Justine: “I think I just swallowed your gum”.
Ed: “Nah, I was just clearing my throat”.
OT http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/vince-cable-has-been-reading-the-papers-again-201105263868/
Ed darling turn your head a bit your mouth is all on one side of your face
Justine Time.
Kan Ban(g).
No he was too late, they already put the cart before the horse!
“Justine finally Mans up”
Man of the people, ordinary bloke, Red Ed, in horrendously self-conscious pose, marries the women he would be marrying anyway, (nothing to do with the Labour leadership so just shut-up Fawkes), whilst modelling a bad suit that’s a bit too small, borrowed from PG tips chimp and managing to make predecessor as Labour leader, Gordon Brown look like a normal and well adjusted non-sociopath.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALPH!
“Not one non-white person. #ToryBritain”, said the groom’s brother.
+ Log10(1)
did you Maclean your teeth today?
“Left” at the Aisle
Wedding night phrases:
“too fast & too deep”
“Its hurting but its not working”
absolutely brilliant
** applause**
Go on Ed grab a tit! No not your self you fool!
….and the winner of this years most blatant PR stunt is…
“Ed Balls laughs as Ed Miliband relises that wasnt lipsil but super glue that Balls lent him”
I love you Rain Man
+1
Let’s have a baby
whose?
Downton Abbey audition goes badly wrong
There is a super-super-injunction on the real version of those events.
Client “E” couldnt walk for a week.
Client “D” laughed so much he ended up in hospital with a ruptured bladder.
Nice suit, Ed. Going for a little walk, de dum de dum, “Under the moon of love”
“Its ok Justine, gordon told me what to do….”
RUN JUSTINE RUN!!!
Ed “Justine can you feel my poll ratings coming up jet”
Justine “no”
Trees outshine Milibands
Impossible, Ed is far more wooden.
“The things I have to do to try and become prime minister.”
This is not a caption (‘cos Billy will finally be allowed to win this week whatever)… but just look at Millitwat’s left arm… hanging there limply… what an un-passionate git. He knows fuck-all about anything from the gap in Liebour’s finances to the gap between his ears to the gap that no doubt already exists between him and her between the sheets.
Its not his limp arm she’s worried about…. Its his LIMP DICK!
quicth the cameras are here say ‘wheeze’!
Z list low budget wedding takes place in Nottingham !
I’d better thand in front of you. Your Turnip Topth are thtanding up in the breethe.
“David Miliband caught trying to upstage baby brother”
“Can’t you shove that dildo any further up my arse Justine?”
Oh i wondered where Dave had disappeared too.
That’ll be £195 please dearie.
Any discount for HoC pass?
…And I need a blank receipt.
Honestly darling, I love you anyway, it doesn’t matter that it’s tiny.
Justine to Ed:
Stop it! I´m not into Mucophilia
“Come and have a go if you are hard enough”
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42984000/jpg/_42984079_wedding_pa406.jpg
I’m gonna write a caption for your picture…
“A rare picture of Gordo with a Beard on his chin.”
Oh ‘Cynical’, it’s the scariest thing I’ve seen for ages. I bought my coffee back up. You are a very naughty person.
Thanks for the warning – gave me time to put my cup down before clicking. Yukkety yuk!!
Can anyone lend us fifty quid for the taxi home? Bit of a deficit problem now my names on the mortgage and the birth certificates …
“Justine has more polices than Ed”
Now where are those little bastards? Oh they aren’t now are they?
They were born out of wedlock. The marital staus of the parents now is neither her nor there…
Incorrect, if the parents get married later the children become legitimate, not that there is any significance in law to this any more.
This civil nonsense is no marriage in the eyes of God.
Justine is wearing white as a sign of her purity and virginity.
The Holy Ghost is the father of her kids.
Not another immaculate misconception?
Photograph sadly taken only seconds before Gaddafi’s only missile attack on north London.
No ! No ! David was not washing his hair !
He was still licking his wounds !
Now Beaker, back to the Muppets in Westminster.
furry googley eyed bastards should go back to the new york slum where they belong.
*panting* hhhuuuuhhh, stop, you know I can’t breath through my nose
Winner
A row of wooden, unvarying, part green and part grey beings form a guard of honour for the Labour leader on his wedding day – but that’s enough about the Shadow Cabinet…..
Guido, I do feel you are being a bit cruel on the happy couples day, Justine has scrubbed up well and i think you should be generous and give this a “Totty Watch” Tag you old meanie!
Billy take note! Lefty females. Hairy legs,armpits, aversion to soap, lentil breath.
Comments about women’s hygiene are not funny. Period.
So the airlines want to keep the dark coloured ash from getting into their flaps.
Didn’t Cheryl decide that a couple of years ago?
*chortle*
Who said they were women?
Make a change not having to kiss Derek Simpson’s arse!
Erm… also not a caption, but has Ed dozed off? Just askin…
My protegezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Beech trees if I’m not mistaken. Nice iron fencing. Well kept grass.Good quality tarmac. Can’t see much else to comment on.
They’re limes. Agree about the rest though.
Not a Caption.
Congratulations. Hope you have a Happy Marriage.*
*Also hope you don’t get anywhere near running the country, but that’s for another day!
‘Now this afternoon you can do the windows
and then we’ll go down the garden centre
and after that….’
watch your wallets with so many lefties in one place
D Milliband : Edward you erm need a best man cough,cough !
E Milliband : Of course ,how stupid of me!
E Milliband : David !
D Milliband Oh yes,yes yes Edward ?
E Milliband : Go and ask Ed Ball’s if he’ll be my best man !
Daddy Woodentop finally makes an honest woman of Mummy Woodentop.
You beat me to it but I hadn’t seen your comment when i posted mine.
“So Edward! Explain this, you can get the horn on seeing Kate, but with me its’ like I’m getting the sloppy seconds…”
Wiv Thisth wing i v wed
In thickneth and in health.
Come Ed, at least pretend you want to. Pretend I’m Barack Obama or something.
On the honeymoon evening things we’re going well until Justine said “I want to suck your Balls”.
Awww. Tweet.
Not a bad set of Bap’s !
Not a caption, more of a gripe. Why can’t he get shirts that fucking FIT him? The cuffs are down to his knuckles for Chris’sakes
Labours “One size fits all society” ?
Maybe he borrowed the shirt from his big brother.
Wallace & Gromitt in The Wrong Trousers
“Thank God we didnt Invite that Irish twat Guido.
Would drink the place dry.”
Why do you think i call her just in ?
Ed darling, can we set up an IHT avoidance scheme for our children?
“Cant see the woods for the trees”
Should she really be getting married in white?
Indeed – a dress made of red meat would be more appropriate.
“I may only be marrying to enhance my political career prospects but at least I didn’t have to get a mail-order bride like Gay Gordon did.”
Ed to no-one in particular ‘well thank goodness that’s over with’
Just-in : It’s Very windy Ed !
Ed : Yeth Juthtin it muthed be those watercreth thanwiches
http://cyberboris.wordpress.com/2011/05/27/omigod-sex-god-ed-mili-is-off-the-market/
COUGARS DESPAIR AS ED GETS HITCHED!
Miliband is setting a very bad example. The Frankfurt School wants to destroy the institution of marriage not promote it.
After exchanging wedding vows, Ed and Justine exchange chewing gum.
Discovery channel launch a new episode of “The Deadliest Catch”
Thank God Cameron isn’t there like a little yapping dog vying for attention – had enough of that already this week.
He’s too busy running the country you pillock. There are a lot more important things going on than Mr Ed’s wedding, in fact everything else is more important.
“running the country” – dave?
Perhaps in the Eddy Izzard sort of way?
Len McCluskey sent us a good present didn’t he darling. 52 inch tele said it fell off the back of a wagon on Liverpool docks.
I hope that’s not a goy he’s marrying.
Ed thinks “i wish i stayed with Steph”
Bernie Winters weds Schnorbitz but where’s his brother Mike?
We will have to stop claiming unmarried mother’s allowance from social security now. Bugger it we will carry on everyone else does.
Justine that was Ok, but you’re no Alice Miles.
Or Stephanie Flanders, for that matter…
If you stick that tongue any further, you might clear up my sinus problem.
Married in virginal white really suits Ed.
Is he taking her to the Prom?
“Cant see the trees for the wood”
When Ed begged her to suck him off he didn’t mean his adenoids.
I feel sick…
You’d think he could afford a shirt that fit.
Justine, rock his head from side to side – it will release the suction.
too fast, too deep.
A bouquet of barbed wire.
where’s Pippa?
Mr Moribund accidentally makes Policy Decision
FFS Call me Fuckin stupid Cameron is on sky Blowing his own trumpet
“I was the first to go to Egypt after the uprisng”
It wasn’t a fuckin race you dickhead !
Now he is about to tell us that any money he save in the cuts is about to be given away to oil rich states
who’s populations would like to wipe us off the face of the planet
Whens the next election ?
Many of my cabinet were the first people to go to tunisia. In fact they were already there, having a fun time as guests of the President.
Rusty Dave must be removed – he could not win against Brown FFS.
Imagine even more Tories like me will be voting UKIP after his sickening performances of late.
Get him out!
+ 1
Justine to Ed “Now we are married I’ll never give you another blow job” – not funny perhaps – but sadly true
We’re on the road to nowhere…
spectacularly ordinary couple you wouldn’t glance at in the real world…shame we have to gaze upon him in the bubble of political life he so undistinguishly occupies.
“Did you just fart?”
Ed, you were suppose to take the BLUE pill before OUR wedding.
“You was meant to kiss Justine, not the horse”
State wedding no. 64538697034/G457e .
Moscow.
Neeeext.
Watch your back !!
Rodney, you plonker!
Is that Wollaton Park just outside of Nottingham?
Outside? thought it was in suburbs.
Anyway:
http://www.langarhall.com/index.php?pid=1&pg=2
langar hall…think burger king crossed with shithole
langar hall…on the main driveway…went to a wedding there not long ago… cross burger king with 3 star hotel
Ed takes the dog for a walk in the country
very good
It’s bitch, not a dog.
The leader of the Labour Party …
… and a bloke in a suit.
Cameron said Peter Mandelson (lord of the rings) would be a great candidate to run the World trade organisation !
He really is losing the plot !
Miliband takes his wife up the arboretum on wedding day.
Excellent.
Is that a Rubik’s Cube you have in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
Excellent, Old Canute.
I had posted to that effect but the comment was lost. I then put this in at the bottom and look what happened… (That last sentence could have been spoken by ED.)
ot but just been watching reports of Miladic’s extradition hearing…family suggesting he has had two strokes and his lawyers saying hes unfit to stand trial in the Hague. Shame they can’t just take him out and shoot the bastard …just as he enjoyed ordering his troops to do to thousands years ago.
He’s not that old !
it doesn’t say thousands of years ago scruffy..stick to rag mags…theres nothing funny about people like Miladic
i posted that statement almost word for word this morning
Aunty Hilda void of idea’s just like labour !
He was an excellent man – got rid of loads of mussies.
plagarism is uneccessary for original thinkers…oh sorry you said that…arr no I just wrote it …only teasing scruffy …let me know when you pen something grownups might enjoy
Pity there aren’t more Serbs like him. Christians are going through hell in the Balkans.
unfortunately its people like him that perpetuate the cycle not justify it
“And now my sweet, Lets go to Butlins”
I suspect Aquascutum and Alice Temperley must be delighted.. two better clothes horses they couldn’t ask for..
What a horrible suit, that man really has no sense of taste or occasion.
It’ll be alright on the night. Just close your eyes and think of DSK.
Now, give uth a big wet kith!
Blinky Balls live on Sky soon
“Sacking someone to distract media attention from my failed schools and social policies was the right thing to do. And I’d do it again if I fucked something up big enough to make it necessary.”
The first dance is gonna be a sight to see…
Robotic fucker isn’t even holding her!
THE FIRST DANCE
‘Wooden man maries Wooden-top!’
Sorry, I broke my own rule.
She has lovely hair really.
yes if you go for the worzel gummidge look
Margaret Beckett a role model. Yuck.
‘The hand-mill gives you society with the feudal lord; the steam-mill society with the industrial capitalist, Justine’
After months of policy meetings, focus groups and opinion testing, Ed Miliband finally makes his decision.
“I’m going to wear a white buttonhole.”
With that pose, he could not organise a fuck up for matelots at a whore-house.
“Should have used hawk-eye”
Her toupee has slipped.
The groom takes the bride up the avenue instead of the ailse.
A Very Modern Wedding.
The Mall was not quite as full as Catherine had described it
C’mon hurry it up, the bloody burgers are burning.
Ed comes out in his real colours with his suit, shirt and tie.
Manages to offend all lesbians, gays, coloureds, city dwellers, council workers and union officials; all at the same time.
When Ed gets back to work he can ask Cameron whether adhering to aid targets agreed in 2005 is still sensible.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/g8/8538999/G8-David-Cameron-hits-out-at-world-leaders-over-international-aid.html
The trouble with having a Government of millionaires is that their concept of the value of money is entirely different to everyone else’s.
If you have millions you get used to chucking it away like water, which doesn’t matter at all if it’s yours, but matters immensely if it’s someone else’s.
Why doesn’t the opposition hold the Government to account for its stupid mistakes, instead of just sneering from the sidelines like a pimpled adolescent bully?
Anyone can be a good samaritan using someone else’s money.
Ah, so that’s why the rich give their ill-gotten gains to charity.
Amen to that Brother
Vote UKIP.
Charity begins at home.
A. Did you see Pippa’s arse?
B. No.
We’re functioning automatic
And we are dancing mechanic
We are the robots…
Justine: Ed you’re totally stiff
Ed: Not tothally, Mr Floppy is sthill softh
Susan Bor: Fred the Shed would not make an honest woman out of me.
How much for anal?
She’s saying, ‘Ed, your Dad was talking about you when he wrote: “Of political parties claiming socialism to be their aim, the Labour Party has always been one of the most dogmatic—not about socialism, but about the parliamentary system. Empirical and flexible about all else, its leaders have always made devotion to that system their fixed point of reference and the conditioning factor of their political behaviour.”’
Ed: ‘Was he dear?’
The fucking bitch, she knows how to talk dirty, fair gave me the horn she did, nasty little slut.
why is her dress white?
To match Ed’s blank sheet of paper.
Because the kids said it suited her.
Justine: “I only do normal Ed”
Anal is the new normal, I read it in the Daily Express.
One more for the camera
Meanwhile Sharon Shoesmiff has just nicked their kids…
Will the thkweeethed middle like me now?
Ed’s first baster-free contact with the mother of his children.
One hand is still hidden.
Ed to Justin just after the Kiss.
Right now I have half of your 1.6 million house we must go and play the same Trust game we did with Mum’s house.
It is a Marxist thingy only plebs pay tax, I cannot wait to claim my Married Man Tax allowance.
I hate that Osborne to pieces sugar plum I cannot wait to shag you properly tonight up the Hershey highway let’s go behind the trees
Wipe out, at first you post it and see it then you dont’.
David shouts, “Oi, it should be me!” from behind the second tree.
Justin: “I’m so pleased you’re the leader now – your kisses don’t taste of bum.”
Ed: “That reminds me, I must get the plugs taken out of my nose.”
” What have I just licked, are you sure you have had adenoids out!”
Not exactly Buck House balcony, is it?
O/T but excellent:
http://sexymp.co.uk/
After a few pints I think I would go as far as # 490
Mike Hancock won 15 ffs!
only 600? Where are the others?
http://www.thelancasterandmorecambecitizen.co.uk/resources/images/1438329/?type=display
Angela Eagle not last?
Labour significantly more ugly
Its all a bit bold… (no, that was not an entry.)
‘ Don’t do that again or I’ll call the police ‘
Has anyone seen the pic of Eds goofy smile in the Mail?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html
Euuww
“This time its Justine who comes second”
Justine proves she is into necrophilia
Err?? How do females do necrophilia?
Does this help?
“Ed gets caught on a sticky wicket”
wheres the bucket. i want to throw up.
Did you just fart again, Ed?
Sorry it was me, I’ve got the burps again today cat.
That setting is just too nice.
They should have been forced to get married within the area of the East End of London’s Taliban, as a reminder of NuLiebors gift to the nation.
I have to say she’s wearing a lovely dress and the lacy details really suit her too, they bring out the colour in her eyes.
“Darling, isn’t it marvellous? The whole Labour Party says it’s right behind me.”
WITH A DAGGER
Miliband is a clown who will never get near power.
Unlike duplicitous Dave & his three line whip to enforce British taxpayers to bail out socialist Europe forever.
The next time rusty Dave tells a camera he is “tough on Europe” do remember to laugh as you hand over yet more of your money to this Heathite traitor.
A 21st century Michael Foot one might say ?
Pair of tits spotted on drive
Langar Estate has more policies than Ed
Leader of the Labour Party gets tied in Notts.
I hope she made him sign a prenup, ‘cos he’ll be unemployed shortly.
If UNITE are looking to employ somebody else as tea boy I’m sure Ed Balls would love the job.
Well at least that way you didn’t have to look at her face !
Jurno : Mr Milliband Any reason why you dont have a best man ?
Is it because you brother hates your guts
or just that you dont have any friends ?
Did his estranged brother even show up ?
He had to walk his hamster.
Justine thinks “Shame he hasn’t got hay fever. I could push my bouquet under is nose…Time to dust off the policies!”
Does my cock look big in this?
Not as big as Yvette Cooper’s.
shes certainly got balls by the short and curlies
“Let’s hope Guido puts our picture on his blog. Look what it’s done to Huhne’s career”.
This is one union which won’t have a say in party policy. And that includes Ed.
David fucks a lot better than you do
And he won’t get you pregnant. Which is nice.
From the New Labour book of Civil Partnership for the enjoinment of mutual non-contributory benefit.
Groom or dominant female:
I,Ed, take thee,Justine, to be my lawful wedded partner of unspecified gender, to have and to hold awkwardly, from this day forward, for better for worse, but after losing Scotland it can’t get much worse,for richer for poorer, But I’ll be at least £750k richer, in thickness and in wealth, to love and to perish, till death us do part, Or Ed Balls boots me out, whichever is the soonest ,according to Marx’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth, whatever that means.
Bride:{or unspecified gender other}
I, do.
Then, as the groom places the ring on the bride’s finger, he says the following:
With this Ring I thee wed, with my body of militant shop stewards I thee promise support and subsidy: In the name of the Barber, and of the Executive Committee, and of the Holy Gord. Amen-tion in the papers wold be nice!
All retire for cake and handouts.
Congratulations Ed.
May all your troubles be Littlejohn’s.
It normally takes a few years before looking back on wedding photos with cringe-inducing embarrassment.
To achieve that within the same day must be some kind of new record.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in want of a good fortune, must be in possession of a wife.”
Or a single man trying to persuade the mug punters that they should vote for him and his crime family again.
Ed finally shows his passionate side – shame about the arms.
Can’t be bothered (and not enough time to read through this lot, so apologies if anyone has already said this: Shouldn’t that rose in his lapel be red?
I hereby resign my seat and apply to become the Rector of Stiffy. Err… Stiffkey.
Ahhh the sanctity of marriage….. Ruined !
Goodish baps. Disappointing boat race.. Who else would have him anyway?
Soft Focus!! Out of focus
Looks more like a Monday morning cartoon
I reckon that’s Rotten Row.
Unite said, Unite, so Red Ed did exactly as told, now they are as one, Unite, Red Ed and Red Justine, a very crowded marriage!
Oh! Yuk! PR stunt.
No best man’s speech from David. Good. We hear enough millicrap on telly.
Aren’t they just adorable!
I do so love a lavender marriage fueled only by single-minded political ambition.
In accordance with Health and Safety Regulations, the heavy hipped and thunder-thighed bridge-to-be practiced for the post-nuptial photo op with a waxworks dummy borrowed for the occasion.
Bride!
has he married that bird who shits on his hair every day ?
“Ed, there’s something I have to tell you. It’s the children. They’re David’s, not yours”
Ed: Fancy a shag later?
Justine: Balls in your court.
Ed: Feck me… he’s in another one??????????
“Ooooh David………..er…I mean Ed.”
Looks like a Maternity Dress. Is she up the duff again?
Tasteless lot of buggers, you’ve thought of all the rude things I wanted to say!