May 26th, 2011

Frontrunners to Replace Huhne

LibDems and civil servants are openly discussing when, not if, Huhne will be going. There is some logic to getting the mess out of the way before the weekend, and the country will be able to cope without a Climate Change Secretary for a couple of days. The two yellows in the lead to replace him in the Cabinet role seem to be Ed Davey, who has been invisible as a Business Minister, and Foreign Office Minister Jeremy Browne, who has been all over the TV whenever Hague is busy being briefed by MI6.

Both are Orange Bookers, though Browne is seen as more right-wing which will likely dent his chances for the soppy climate change brief. Obviously Laws is toxic and Guido understands that Sarah Teather has little chance of a promotion. 


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    mike Handcock?


    • 18
      :) says:

      Good one.


      • 23
        Sot the Dog with Dirty Balls says:



      • 36
        The real story is says:

        The Tory peer Lord Hanningfield has been found guilty of six counts of expenses fraud.

        Hanningfield – tried at Chelmsford crown court under his name, Paul White, on Thursday – had denied six counts of false accounting relating to his parliamentary expenses.

        The prosecution said he had claimed for overnight stays in London, between March 2006 and April 2009, when he had actually returned home to Essex.

        White told the court he had seen it as a “living out of London allowance” rather than overnight subsistence. The jury found the 70-year-old peer guilty on all six counts and he will be sentenced in six weeks.

        White, who was an Essex councillor for 40 years and led the council from 2001 until he was charged in 2010, was made a life peer in 1998. He was a frontbench spokesman on business while the Conservatives were in opposition, but was suspended from the parliamentary party after being charged.

        During the trial, he said he “quite honestly assumed” he could claim the maximum amount after learning that this was what 85% of peers did.


    • 20
      Bob says:

      He is on holiday in Russia!

      Wish I was..


      • 24
        We run the council now says:

        Don’t vote for the Tories then.


        • 102
          David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

          These two are worse than Huhne. Lie Dems have no conviction and will swap their core values to gain power of government.

          Laws should join Huhne in jail. They won’t be in long. Chaytor is out today having only served four months. Four months for a £20,000 theft FFS. Where could he work for four months to earn this sort of money. Drink drivers and TV licence evaders get more than this.

          Clark said those who do not put in an early guilty plea should not benefit from the early release scheme- what about these thieving MPs who tried every trick in the book to avoid prosecution and are now let out early!!!!


          • David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

            Why not have a cut back and leave the post vacant or get rid of it. The same with DiFD, no need for overseas aid. Management of MOD procurement could be left open, as a few need sacking there as well.


    • 21
      Ranker says:

      We’ve noticed he’s been moving up the rankings for some time now.


    • 27
      Malcolm Redfellow says:

      Oh, c’mon. It’s got to be Lynne Featherhead! She has consistently proved as a (very) Home Office junior to be the only LibDem to make Clegg at the Dispatch Box look good by comparison.

      Laugh? Well, consider the over-promotion of the third-tier PR ginger pygmy jerboa for a Scottish ski-resort to number two at the Treasury.


      • 42
        The real story is says:

        Vince Cable warned yesterday that ‘hydrogen bombs’ in the economy are set to plunge Britain into new economic disaster.
        The Business Secretary was accused of talking down the recovery after telling the New Statesman magazine that governments had not ‘got to grips’ with problems in the economy.
        The comments put Mr Cable on a collision course with Chancellor George Osborne, who has repeatedly insisted that Britain was out of the ‘danger zone’.
        Mr Cable said: ‘I think the thing that worries me more than anything else [is that] we really haven’t engaged with the real depths and seriousness of the financial crash.’
        He quoted financier Warren Buffett, saying he was ‘very impressed’ by the billionaire’s warning ‘that asset-backed mortgage lending was the atomic bomb, and that there are hydrogen bombs out there’.
        He added: ‘I just don’t think that collectively governments have got to grips with this at all.’ Asked if one of the ‘bombs’ could go off, Mr Cable said: ‘It’s not imminent. But you can see this happening.’
        He also warned that the banks’ failure to lend more to small businesses was storing up problems.


      • 48
        scratch and sniff says:

        she’s accustomed to lots of heavy use – and shows it.

        could be a good choice – as a 9 pint maybe


        • 66
          ampersfa says:

          But not the Teather woman – my wife always refers to her as the “doormouse”.


      • 50
        Labour have taken to vacous shrieking says:

        Why on earth should it be a lib dem-give it to a right wing,small government,AGW sceptic tory and lets see the guardianistas having a real eppi.
        enough of the bollocks its time to stop pretending the electorate are americans (stupid and gullible)


      • 110
        Reality approaches says:

        Should not be Ed Davey, he has a few problems in his present department that he needs to sort out first.


    • 85
      Common sense voter says:

      Does it have to be a Lib Dem? Given their kicking in the local elections it would be more democratic if a Tory took Huhne’s place. We do live in a democracy, right?


    • 89
      Anonymous says:

      Please god not Laws. Someone honest please.


      • 103
        David Laws Lib Dem fiddler says:

        Someone honest? You are really stretching God’s power to the impossible.


        • 106
          Anonymous says:

          Okay then, someone who hasn’t been caught fiddling. (And who has been forced to give the money back.)

          No Clegging Lembitstains please.


  2. 2
    scratch and sniff says:

    nice choice – a c*unt or a c*unt to replace huhne


  3. 3
    AC1 says:

    Leave the Minister of Weather slot vacant.


    • 8
      Hugh Janus says:

      Exactly. And filling it with a Limp Dum guarantees another wretched climate change zealot.

      Sorry, forgot, that’s exactly what Cameron is too.


    • 19
      Global Warming Swindle says:

      What about Barking Mad Barker. He’s wet enough to be minister for weather.


  4. 4
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I remeber hearing J. Browne when he Lib Dem spokesman in oppo, Seemed to come across well, Seemed compatant and well briefed , The only thing that worries me is , well, em, He is a Lib Dem….


  5. 5
    jetboyfantastic says:

    From the pictures above it looks like a choice between a nazi and a thumb sucker.


  6. 6
    Trinny says:

    Vince Cable has the background


    • 35
      sandra in accounts says:

      That crypto socialist idiot is destroying business confidence & investment in the UK – so he would be ideal for the Climate Change brief.

      I hate this Coalition as much as I do Labour


  7. 7
    They're all smug, sneering Celt cunts at the BBC, 'cept Kuenssbergs whom I wish to bum intensely says:

    Orange bookers? That’s a pleasing development, if true
    Why would Clegg plump for a non retarded member of his party, when there are so many leftist fucktards to choose from?


    • 12
      scratch and sniff says:

      more likely to be an orange sucker than an orange booker amongst that crowd of deviants.

      any followers of limp dick dave that think that because some of these tossers allegedly subscribe to the orange book means that they are in any way sound need to borrow somebody’s brain for 5 minutes.

      exhibit a – little knob jockey laws


  8. 9
    pandy says:

    please be ed davey, as he is a doppleganger for the “other dentist” in bbc’s My Family.


  9. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Why do people talk as if “climate change” was something new? It’s been changing from long before our distant ancestors became single celled organisms and will continue to change until it’s finally engulfed by the sun.


  10. 11
    Popeye says:

    Promote the little fat girl!


    • 108
      Woman on a Raft says:

      What about John Hemming? No, seriously. He’s one of the few with a hard science background – physics. He’s better placed than most to give a reliable opinon on whether or not a windmill is worth having.

      Also it would make sparks come out of Bercow’s ears as if someone had shoved a Roman candle up his backside. That’s got to be worth the price of admission.


  11. 13
    Mike Handycock CBE MP says:

    You are miles out as usual Mr Fawkes. I am the ideal candidate to take over Chris Huhne’s Ministerial portfolio. I have the finest of qualifications to do this job – I am a long time senior member of the Freemasons. Boaz


    • 17
      Freemasons says:



    • 72
      Ancient Mariner says:

      Drop by sometime


      • 112
        Mike Handycock CBE MP says:

        Now you know why the Liberal Democrats are in favour of unrestricted immigration and why most of us libDem MP’s are Freemasons.
        p.s. I got my CBE for being sacked from a children’s charity. It was Paddy Ashdown who put my name forward for the honour. Wheels within wheels. Looks like a peerage for me next!


  12. 14
    Selohesra says:

    Is Ed Davy related to Wayne Rooney?


  13. 15

    They’re all yellow banana boys to me.


  14. 16
    Horace Rumpole says:

    Must be plenty of Limp Dump old codgers in the Lords?


  15. 22
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    It’s not a ‘climate change’ minister we need, it’s a population change minister we need.


    • 34
      Enoch's Bowel says:

      Uncivilized scum, send ‘em all back!


    • 40
      sandra in accounts says:

      Yes, I read about this in the Guardian on their frontpage & its all over the multiple platforms of the BBC…………….


  16. 25
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Cardiff not even sold out, what a disgrace!!!!!


    • 41
      Selohesra says:

      Not sure there would be much play if test was in London today – tipping it down outside my office


      • 45
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        I agree, But Cardiff for the first test match of the summer??????


        • 64
          TOO FAR says:

          The rain in Spain Err! falls in Wales….. Billy, you are right on there. Bloody place, been there once.. guess what? it pissed down. Full of grumpy old sheep sha***ers. Oh! We’ve got them in Sussex, they are still a pain in the arse, even with more sunshine. Keep going on about how “nice” the place is. It’s bloody crap, almost as bad as Bradford. If that is a posibility


        • 68
          Infuriated of West Mids says:

          Cardiff for *any* test match ??????? (IMHO…)


          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            tis the England and Wales Cricket team…….. Only 2 welsh i remeber is Simon Jones (what a bowler) and Robert croft.


          • Selohesra says:

            Billy – what about Tony Lewis! – he played 9 tests and went on to be President of MCC


          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

            Not been into cricket for long started in 2005, Was just going off top off head :-)


          • Selohesra says:

            Hugh Morris – 3 tests


  17. 26
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    They look like a pair of hoons


  18. 28
    Sarah Brun says:

    I hope its not Browne. I know its spelt slightly differently but the very mention of that name makes nauseous, break out in a cold sweat and then vomit violently


  19. 33
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    A choice between tweedledum or tweedledee.

    And jesus fuckin’ wept.


  20. 37
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    1 minute ago: “Breaking: OECD says Balls has mis-quoted ‘em, they back Osborne plan. Balls, spin? He wouldn’t… would he?”

    Balls tell a porky? dont belive ya :-)


  21. 38
    Anna Tolia says:

    McDoom’s looking for work.


  22. 39
    Gordon Brown says:

    I like to dissolve F— B—— in orange fizzy pop


  23. 43
    Moley says:

    The Lib Dems and civil servants must know something we don’t, which begs the question, has anybody told Huhne yet?

    The longer he stays, the stronger my feeling becomes that he isn’t actually that much worse than anybody else in that House of ill repute. (Westminster).


    • 53
      An offence less serious than that of which Huhne is accused says:

      Oops sorry just realised I can’t post here because I do not exist.


  24. 46
    Stupid Question says:

    is there anything stopping every Greek citizen just leaving the country and claiming residence in another country?

    sure the Greek debt is linked to the legal Geographical area of Greece and not to it’s people


    • 47
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      Dont give em ideas!!!!!!


      • 70
        Anonymous says:

        Most of them don’t even have to move. They could all succeed from Greece, leaving behind somewhere really small, like Naxos with all the debts, and call the rest something like Greece2.0 .


    • 57
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      they have houses, jobs, families, cushy jobs and/or pensions. Its nice and hot. Its where they are from and they like being. they don’t speak another language.

      Perhaps if they went to other countries they’d actually have to pay the official rate of taxes.

      (they = Some of them / many of them)


    • 63
      Gooey Blob says:

      The first thing Greece has to do is leave the euro. The longer it puts off this decision, the more good money gets poured down the drain propping up an unsustainable position.


    • 100
      Hugh Janus says:

      See if you can spot the connection here:

      Greece I believe has a socialist government.

      The economy of Greece is completely shattered.


  25. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Lord Ashdown’s been unusually visible lately


  26. 51
    Selohesra says:

    Can’t we leave the position vacant – I don’t think anyone would notice and we could save some costs by closing the dept.


    • 55
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      One less on the greasy poll? that will never happen.


  27. 52
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Teather has little chance of anything. Her qualifications to be an MP were……..?

    Ah – thought not.

    Greatest success to date? Getting her tights on in the morning. Yes, you guessed. I am not her greatest fan.


  28. 54
    Scottish Tory says:

    Reading through these various threads I surprised and shocked at the overtly racist tones I’ve found. I would have thought the web-master would have stamped this out by now.


    • 59
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      you are always welcome to a full refund…….


    • 61

      Don’t forget sexist.


      • 69
        Spank Sinatra says:

        Also quite negative towards strap-ons, coffee tables, former Prime Ministers, cheats, thieves, deficit deniers, room-sharing Foreign Secretaries, fixed penalty dodgers, fuckwits of all descriptions. Bugger me, the list goes on and on…..


    • 65
      English Viking says:

      Get lost, you porridge wøg.


    • 67
      Moley says:

      This site is infinitely less racist than I found working in Scotland as an Englishman.

      One suspects that the SNP have and will continue to encourage it, (while pretending to do the opposite).


    • 74
      Welsh Tory says:

      Fuck off and stick a deep fried Mars bar up your arse.


    • 78
      Infuriated of West Mids says:

      Schoolboy error identifying yourself as Scottish.

      Tsk. Amateur.

      Anyway, it’s equal opportunities piss ripping.


  29. 56
    Kered Ybretsae says:

    Then Huhne can go the way of footballers injunctions and gigging orders.


  30. 57

    Give it to Cable where he can do little real damage.
    Then promote someone good to business.


  31. 60
    Raquel's_Treasure_Chest says:

    If I ever get to be First Lady I’ll accompany my husband on a State visit to Northern Borneo and then round up any disadvantage British ex-pat kids I can find, take them on a plane trip to oil-rich Bandar University and show them the sort of life they are missing to make them all incredibly envious.

    Do you think that the Bruneians will get just a tiny bit pissed off by what I was doing? The more intellectually verbose ones may well accuse me of a bit of racio-steroetypical hypocrisy, since I could easily have found plenty of Borneans with no shoes on their feet.


  32. 77
    Moley says:

    The coalition’s success in deficit reduction is matched by their success in controlling immigration.

    “Net Immigration hits six year high.”

    The “Heir to Blair” clearly follows the Labour policy of making a “Really good speech” in response to a problem, whilst taking no effective action whatsoever.


    • 81
      scratch and sniff says:

      dave is taking this very seriously and will certainly be looking into it


    • 88

      Sympathy with that point of view. I have to remind myself that he isn’t Brown. That cheers me up.

      Will that suffice for four more years? “He may be a lightweight, but he isn’t Brown.”
      Probably good for forty years.


    • 101
      Hugh Janus says:

      “The “Heir to Blair” clearly follows the Labour policy of making a “Really good speech” in response to a problem, whilst taking no effective action whatsoever.”

      Absolutely spot on! This is precisely how Call Me Dave operates. And to think I supported this bloody shower….


    • 117
      UKBA has a £2.5 billion pound annual budget says:

      UKBA are concentrating on punishing smokers bringing baccy back, especially if they fancy keeping the smoker’s car.

      They’re not going to do anything about illegals getting in ‘cos they haven’t figured out a way to rip them off yet.

      UK passport holders get the fisting, other passports straight thru. (Government policy innit?)


  33. 80
    concrete pump says:

    Bit quiet around here……..


  34. 90
    Detestable Colonial says:

    I keep popping in here in the hopes of seeing another warmist taking the political dirt nap, but no one’s stuck the spike in yet.

    The country could do without a Climate Change Minister for about…oh, forever.

    The problem is that Dave seems as hung up on warmism, or at least the money to be raked in therefrom, as any of the rest of the ecoloons. So you’ll probably be stuck with another crook.


  35. 92
    Octavius Tinsworth Ace says:

    Which one is the closet sodomite?


  36. 98
    Charlie says:

    I see Cleggy using the NHS report to blow a decoy smoke screen around Huhne and improve his standing with the looney left… double FAIL incoming!


  37. 99

    Why replace him at all ? Surely we will do better without an industry hating, jobs destroying future dooming Climate change secretary.

    ( Energy could just go back to the DTI or whatever its called these days ).


  38. 104
    Stephen Fry's anal wart says:

    There’s far too much homophobia on this site, you lot just want to take things back to the bad old days of everything being swept under the rug.
    Well I’m not having it I tell you, they’ll be no rugs for me, not now not ever!


    • 120
      Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

      Get a hair transplant, then nothing’ll get under yer syrup. Simples.


  39. 109

    “… the country will be able to cope without a Climate Change Secretary for a couple of days.” Couple of millennia, more like.


  40. 111
    Four Eyed English Genius says:

    The obvious thing to do is not to replace the hoon Huhne at all, but just get rid of such a stupid and destructive post. Of course, with Wavy Davy in charge, that is unlikely to happen.


  41. 113

    I want to know who the front runner to replace Nigel Farage as Leader of UKIP is?

    Big rumour doing the rounds tonight that Farrage is joining the Conservatives.


  42. 114
    Anonymous says:

    The problem here for Guido Fawkes is that they have over-played their hand on this.

    Guido only ever put his ‘crosshairs’ graphic up on the site when it was already certain that someone would have to stand down. So it almost looked as though he was responsible.

    But now, with no control over the site daily, the crosshairs appear with gay abandon, and if Chris Huhne just plays the long game, the spotlight will have to go elsewhere, or the readers will grow restless, and the whole ‘Huhnting’ thing looks like a ‘busted flush’ and the power of the ‘crosshairs’, and ‘Order-Order’ as a whole, diminished.

    And enough mistakes like that, and the whole edifice will be chipped away from the foundation. Whether Guido Fawkes is sensible enough to ‘wake up and smell the coffee’ and arrest the decline before it is terminal remains to be seen.


  43. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Alistair Carmichael is the only senior LibDem likely to be moved out of their current departments. Paul Waugh did a round up of the runners and riders recently which explained why most other LibDems are just too junior.


  44. 116
    Duncan says:

    How about Whichever Way the Wind Blows Featherstone…


  45. 122
    Traffic Expert says:

    Huhne doesn’t see to be going anywhere. Day 19 today?

    And over at LDV the Lib Dems seem to be heaping praise on in for his environment achievements, whilst claiming the emergency meeting on Wednesday was a council meeting about a cycle path.

    How is this going to end?


  46. 124
    Cybil Serpent says:

    The position of Climate Change Secretary has been abolished due to a world-wide shortage of green ink.


  47. 126
    Former Caithness Candidate says:

    What about Lord Thurso. He is at least a ‘moderate’ greenie – not entirely opposed to nuclear energy – and very inetrested in wave/current power in the Pentland Firth.


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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