May 25th, 2011

+ + + Eastleigh LibDems Holding Emergency Meeting + + +

Guido has just heard they are holding an unscheduled meeting right now as we go to pixel. There is so much for Huhne’s local party to talk about this evening.  Their MP interviewed by the police over allegations that he perverted the course of justice. Accusations from former members of expenses fraud, new evidence provided to Electoral Commission about false declarations. Not long now methinks…


  1. 1
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Gone in 24 hours onme hopes


    • 3
      Onme Head says:

      How did you know?


      • 32
        Anonymous says:

        This vid is all that tat the twat has got left in his locker. So sad.


      • 70
        Jo Moore, for it is she, says:

        Well, as somebody once said infamously, it is a good day to bury bad news…


      • 71
        TOO FAR says:

        WTF who keeps posting this…. got to be someone LIKE TAT. just, just maybe he(or she) has a real problem. No!!! just a total …twat..C’mon you must be a sshhiitt puSher.


        • 86
          AC1 says:

          Why did he post it here instead of the blog he promised us? Would he lie?

          BTW Tat; How is Alan Johnson doing as PM?


        • 109
          Dick the Prick says:

          I kinda miss being called a retard occassionally.


        • 155
          huge boner-ville says:

          well people should be nicer to Billy too or he’ll be gone like TaT leaving this blog a poorer place.


        • 311
          Columbo says:

          Dick the Prick says:
          May 25, 2011 at 8:32 pm

          I kinda miss being called a retard occassionally.

          You want to dig the missus in the ribs more often!


      • 152
        huge boner-ville says:

        Well I think it should be shown again and again, the readers of this blog shouldn’t forget what Hague did and how he came crawling out, humiliating his wife, to divert attention away from the story. Guido also has let him go, though he at least brought the story to public attention, Iain ‘homosexuals can do no wrong’ Dale was quite happy with Hague giving a high profile advisor role funded by the taxpayer to someone who was not obviously better qualified than the million other politics graduates.


        • 156
          Iain Dale's favourite MP says:

          I ripped off the expenses system but it’s ok because I faked mortgage payments to fund a counseling group for crispin blunt, david laws and chris bryant to help them deal with the emotional damage caused by telling their parents that they love other boys.


        • 170
          sadly says:

          Guido and Willie are as thick as thieves.


        • 187
          Shameless and blameless says:

          I think you’ll find that there’s an injunction on that!


    • 15
      one less dangerous driver in the cabinet says:

      They’re saving the world in Eastleigh at this very minute.


    • 37
      Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

      Maybe they can discus amongst themselves how the huhne came to own 7

      s e v e n





      houses when most people struggle to pay the mortgage on ONE

      what a fucking trougher


    • 53
      His Royal Hooness says:

      Huhne today Gohne tomorrow.


    • 211
      Common sense voter says:

      Billy Bowden rules. Might be less (Lib Dem) scandal if he did.


    • 218
      Robert Mugabe says:

      Huhne is inno … Fcuk it, even I give up on Huhne.

      Solidarity with my Lib Dem brothers.

      No Shame

      By Any Means Necessary (Beginning to wonder about this ’cause of Huhne)


    • 269
      Lembits cheeky didlo says:

      Hang in there Chris. People who’ve been out of work as long as I have can feel down, and get a bit depressed if I’m honest.

      We begin to wonder if we contributed to our own downfall. Clearly not in my case.

      Your antics have really cheered me up and keep my head above the parapet.

      I feel I should point out though that, unlike me, you seem to have brought your troubles on your own head.


      • 276
        Soon to be unemployed from Portsmouth says:


        I’ve found you to be a real laugh riot Chris. Keep on keeping on.


  2. 2
    Bazz says:

    The Chickens are coming Huhne to roost.


    • 20
      Anonymous says:



    • 21
      Dick the Prick says:

      Dunno – may just be caucus; there’s loads going on at the moment. Hope he’s fucked, though. Not that it’ll necessarily change policy from stupid arse greenie bollox to stupid arse greenie bollox.


  3. 4
    Andie99uk says:

    Wonder if any of them drove to the hastily arranges meeting…


    • 64
      South of the M4 says:

      Eastleigh, the home of Southampton airport. Perhaps they flew in.


      • 169
        boulay says:

        used to love eastleigh airport. Nearest airport to school – £15 for taxi. 6 of us wwould take out a taxi advance at school then share taxi and spend the remaing money on booze before we left. Mind you I did also get dumped there by top girlfriend….


        • 235
          Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

          at least you still had your underneath girlfriend……..I’ll get my coat


  4. 5
    Lord Carrington's Binoculars says:

    Awww….come on!

    Royal Wedding
    AV Result
    Local election results
    Queen to Ireland
    Dave n Obama

    and now the defenestration of the massive arse Huhne…

    Feels good to be on opposite side to the ‘progressive minority’


  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe it is not too late to get a super-injunction ??

    Can you imagine if Vassilini Pryce said “I’d be willing to forget it all if you give me one last jolly rogering night of lust…” Decisions, decisions…


  6. 7
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The Limp Dems really are not fit to have power are they? They make Liebore look competent and look at the shitfy thieving twats in that lot.


  7. 8

    Holding a meeting? They’d be better off holding Huhne’s balls…very tightly!!


  8. 9
    Officer Crabtree says:

    Come on By-election. Let’s get Eastleigh back to being blue(ish). It will also give me a chance to tear strips off the canvassers when they come round.


  9. 10
    Must go, Xena's on Freesat says:

    One item on agenda :

    Hang him or drown him ?


  10. 11
    Inspector Knacker says:

    Book Him Danno .


  11. 12
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Law breakers cannot be law makers.

    that means we need 650 new Mps :-)


  12. 13
    thespecialone says:

    Will the government’s ludicrous ‘climate change’ policy…errr change when he has gone? No. Some other dimwit will take up the same baton.


    • 17
      Must go, Xena's on Freesat says:

      Have a look at Geoffrey Lean’s article in the Telegraph :

      He seems to have written it entirely without irony. He has been justifiably flamed by the commenters .



      • 29
        The Paragnostic says:


        Looks like a fat cünt to me.

        Should have stuck to campaigning against DDT and letting Africans die of malaria – all this climate change seems a bit too much for the silly old git.


      • 48
        Socialism is a mental illness says:

        Thanks. Just read the telegraph piece, what a complete tosser that Lean is. Every comment was hostile. We really need to get a grip and oust these climate change nazis once and for all, exterminate them before this country turns into somalia.


        • 62
          Iloathlefties says:

          Climate change is their new religion. Carbon dioxide is 0.036% of the atmoshere and vast majority comes from volcanoes, the oceans and animals. Its a trace gas but our stupid politicians don’t listen to the “other” scientists who are NOT paid to find it so they can tax us and wreck our economy. Just dumb politicians. What a shower of shite.


          • AC1 says:

            But it’s changed by 0.008%* it’s the end of the world!

            *It’s varied far more than that in the past and been both warmer and colder with lower and higher CO2 concentrations.


          • Note that ‘Global Warming’ has gone out of the window. The new mantra is ‘Climate Change’. Think about the meaning of those words.


          • Engineer says:

            Climate’s been changing,one way or the other, for about four billion years. Why is it suddenly a panic-inducing problem?


          • Dick the Prick says:

            Some knob on Ch4 said about the volcano in Iceland said ‘last year, no-one suspected an eruption’ and I would have thought – it’s a fucking volcano, what did you think it was gonna do? Those dumb bastards in America who live on the Missisippi flood plane and whinged that their houses were washing away – well, frankly, it’s just a bit daft living there.

            Climate change requires greater investment in strategic energy security and flood and civil defence adaptation – it under no fucking circumstances requires carbon bollox trading taxes and allowances. It’s drivel – that’s a bollox market to create, it’s illusory, short sighted and demeaning to public sensibility. A consumer tax is domestically fine as are import tariffs but to then attach tax to use is outrageous.

            If climate change is happening then people can move to Russia – it’ll get warmer and it’s got plenty of land.


          • AC1 says:

            Actually they’re trying to get a Climate Chaos meme out there…

            Even British Journos aren’t biting…

            “You cannot hope to bribe or twist (thank God!) the British journalist. But, seeing what the man will do unbribed, there’s no occasion to.” Wolfe, Humbert


          • Strewth says:

            They seem to be trying “climate weirding” in the United States.

            That doesn’t seem to be working either


          • Wycked Hors says:

            “In every 85,800 molecules of air, 33 are CO2. Of those, humans just produce one. That the UN IPCC and Al Gore claim that one (1) molecule of CO2 in 85,800 molecules of air catastrophically warms the planet is nonsense. That the UN IPCC and Al Gore claim that one (1) molecule of human CO2 causes catastrophic warming while the remaining 32 molecules of Nature’s identical CO2 do not is insanity. ” Hans Schreuder, retired analyst.


          • Lakshmi says:

            Luvvly Jubbly


      • 54
        Lou Scannon says:

        I used to subscribe to the Telegraph once upon a time.
        Never again.
        So sad.


        • 183
          Huge Boner-ville says:

          But then how do you keep up with what’s going on in the life of Bryony Gordon.


          • The Paragnostic says:

            Bryony’s latest masterpiece asks ‘what would we do without Gwyneth?’.

            We need Gwynedd to stop Anglesey falling off and landing on Aberystwyth, of course!


          • seb coe says:

            I bow to your superior knowledge but if we lost Paltrow then Coldplay may start making records again, which would be a bit like Gordon making the fiscal policy again.


          • telegraph says:

            “Bryony Gordon, feature writer and columnist, takes a street-smart, twentysomething [thirtysomething shurley -Ed] view of the irritations, absurdities and occasional epiphanies of modern life.”


      • 85
        Engineer says:

        Never bother reading Geoffrey Lean. He’s Mary Riddell in Y-fronts.


  13. 14
    Jimbo says:

    Seriously, why doesn’t Huhne just f**k off??

    Does he really think quilty or not quilty he can survive this kind of fisting. Pres Obama is on the UK leg of his 2012 re-election campaign, why doesn’t he leg it under this cover?? Time running out!!


  14. 16
    Chris Huhne says:

    Guido. I will not resign until Billy Bowden wins the caption competition. My decision is final.


    • 18
      Anonymous says:

      Fuck off Billy you fucking pritt stick.


    • 19
      dunlaggin says:

      I don’t think that will work, Billy


      • 23
        Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

        I didnt write it.


        • 36
          Huhnes driving the car says:

          maybe not but the moniker might stick


          • Engineer says:

            It was an entirely different politician who had a problem with a sticky Monica.


          • EC1 PhD says:

            If others post captions under Billy’s moniker, he’s got a much better chance of winning.


          • Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says: says:

            Are they saying to Huhne

            “Your story doesn’t fit the known chain of events, you have changed your side of it numerous times, committed multiple crimes and wasted many hours of police time, but since you’re an MP we’re happy to let the commons standards committee decide your punishment whcih we’re sure will be severe. Since we feel so sorry for you due to your fairly unattractive mistress we’ll let you drive home in the squad car. Put the blue lights on and you can go as fast as you like.”


  15. 22

    Now let us praise famous men
    Brown, Obama, Wedgwood Benn
    Blair, Umunna, Balls and Huhne.
    Hope they will all perish soon.


  16. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Eastliegh? Lib Dems? Does that involve stockings an orange and amyl nitrate?


  17. 27
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I see Mr Wuv is back posting videos.


  18. 28
    The literal, English meaning of Celt is scrounger says:

    They’re meeting to compare sandals


    • 42
      Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

      Beards, the hairy kind and the bulldyke kind (who are also hairy)…


    • 74
      The cunt of Monte Cristo says:

      Eastleigh is a shit hole, and that is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about the place


    • 96
      Professor Robert Winstons says:

      After some extremely detailed multi-layered study over a decade, I am able to say with some conviction, leftists are a bunch of cow’s cu’nts


  19. 30
    :) says:

    You never see Chris and Obama in the same room.

    Coincidence? I think not!


  20. 33
    Huhne Dunnit = Shower bitch says:

    The piece of holier than thou dogs excrement is fecked big style and I really hope he gets to be someone bitch when he is inside.

    Bet he gets off though but at least he is finished as a politican


  21. 35

    I like a man with drive


  22. 41
    Cleggy weggy says:

    Perhaps he will resign stating personal reasons so he can spend more time with his girlfriends dildo


  23. 52
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Tick-tock, tick-tock… and he can take Laws with him.


  24. 58
    Mark Skid says:

    Oh Lord, in your infinite goodness, please send a thunderbolt down from your heavenly house, and smite Chris Huhne. And smite him so that he knows he has been smote. And let him ask not thereafter if he has been unsmote. If it is not too much trouble, may I also ask you to smite Vince Cable and leave him a frazzled slug on the pavement of life. And smite all the other LibDem sandle wearing bedwetters and illiterate third world immigrant importers. Amen.


  25. 60
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Dont forget Mcshane and Piggy Wiggin as well!!!!!!!


  26. 61
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Clegg incompetent

    Cable barking mad leftie twat

    Laws thieving poofter

    Huhne lying twat

    Have I missed any out?


  27. 88
    Vomit says:

    Just saw a clip of Jonah at Westminster Hall sitting next to Bliar. *SHUDDER*

    They both have something in common other than being former Liebore leaders, congenital liars and c unts. They’re never in London except when there’s a potential photo opp with whoever’s the sitting American president. And Bliar is hardly ever in the country he fucked up so he can avoid paying tax on his blood money. I hope they both get cancer and die slowly.


    • 100
      Roy L Mayall says:

      With the war-monger’s family away there’s much less chance of mis-posting a letter.


  28. 92
    Chris Huhne says:

    Oh well, I’m sure I can have a career in reality TV like Lembit. I’ll get my agent to call the producers of I’m a Celebrity, Strictly Come Dancing and Have I Got News For You. I’m certain Channel 4 will sign me up. They love giving reality shows to crooks.


  29. 98
    Vomit says:

    I notice Slotgob wasn’t at Westminster Hall today. And I also noticed how glum Sarah Beard looked. Must have been missing Canterbury.


  30. 110
    Vomit says:

    Judge has ruled the Tucson killer Jared Lee Loughner incompetent to stand trial after he started shouting in court. Everyone in Labour knew Brown was incompetent to be prime minister but still allowed him to get to the top without hindrance. Criminal negligence of an enormous magnitude. Put him in a cell with Jared.


  31. 113
    Martin Day says:

    The news you’ve all been waiting for

    Eastleigh Liberal Democrats sack MP Chris Huhne


  32. 120
    Up sh1t creek says:

    Never mind, here’s Gordon Brown smiling at President Obama.


    • 123
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      Fuckin hell !
      I hope he was still on his chain !
      Gurning Brown and Botox Blair
      what a horrible sight !


    • 137
      This photo shows the classic McDoom angry face says:

      You can see the rage in his face as Obama then talks to Blair and Major.


      • 150
        Infuriated of West Mids says:

        Ah. memories! He even managed to look a crumpled awkward shambles again, too.

        I’m enjoying seeing more of Sir John Major over the last few weeks – he’s got a wise head on his shoulders*, and should be wheeled out more often in my opinion.

        *Edwina Currie aside, naturally.


      • 177
        Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:



  33. 121
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    This feckin hoon seems to have more lives than a sack of cats
    Call me Dave and Trust me Clegg should sack the twat now !


  34. 127
    Some guy on Twitter says:

    BBCPeterH Peter Henley
    Waiting for #Huhne at Eastleigh Civic Centre – but @guido it’s NOT an emergency Lib Dem meeting #wildgoosechase


  35. 131
    Some other guy on Twitter says:

    chrisshipitv Chris Ship
    Just been banging on door of Chris Huhne Eastleigh constit office. If there is urg meeting as @GuidoFawkes suggests-it ain’t happening there

    Uncanny, isn’t it?

    Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?


    • 162
      nell says:

      Have you tried the room above the local pub?!


      • 172
        Addictive this retweeting lark says:

        CllrKeithHouse Keith House
        If anyone had asked, we could have said there was no Lib Dem meeting in Eastleigh this evening. #hacksrunningaroundincircles
        45 minutes ago


      • 179
        Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

        Try the local masonic lodge – boaz!


  36. 132
    Ed thpeaks human says:

    So tomorrow night Ed will be spending his stag night…with his fiancee. Dear oh dear. What a fuckwit.


    • 318
      Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

      Yeth, thand back you bathtards!!!

      Thith ith therious fuckwittery, only capable of one endowed withth therious fuckwittery geniuth bainths!


  37. 133
    The BBC is getting increasingly desperate says:

    I am amazed the Huhne is hanging in there. I predict another week of the Huhne hate campaign.


    • 143
      Yup. says:

      Everyone knows that Huhne has been sacked from the government, expelled from the party and jailed for three trillion years for speedcrime, thoughtcrime and disagreeing with Guido. But not a squeak about any of this from the Beeb.

      Either you are in front of Guido or you are, errrrrrm, like, whatever, innit?


      • 168
        nell says:

        “I am amazed the Huhne is hanging in there”


        Huhne will be hanging in there by his fingernails until he is dragged away, screaming, ankles first. As we found with gordon it’s the way that people who have no integrity, and even less honesty, behave.


        • 175
          But we'll get his scalp in the endlark says:

          like we got that bastard Hague that used to be Foreign Secretary.


        • 184
          Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

          What do you expect from these fucking clinically insane psychopaths? They have NO concept of integrity whatsoever. They got were they got by backstabbing and crawling over the careers of 100s of others they shafted. Only a bullet in the head will put them out of their fantasy, and save us all from 100,000 windmills all over the fucking place.


  38. 135
    Pretty much everyone who knows Chris Huhne says:

    that he’s a pretty straight sort of guy.


  39. 136
    The Paragnostic says:

    O/T – Tesco launches “sat-nav” shopping app.

    One of the comments is priceless – some moron wondering why they didn’t launch it on iPhoney rather than Android.

    The real reason is that Waitrose have the iPhoney version – Lidl are to launch their “Polish lass who tells you where the salami is” app next week.


  40. 138
    the real Chris Huhne says:

    As one of the world’s few manbians, I’m here to protest against the blatant and egregious manbianphobia on this site. I’m putting the phone down and you never saw me.


  41. 139
    george says:

    Chris is really stinking up the place, but can the people in Eastleigh smell it?

    Maybe they are meeting to discuss their windmill policy.


  42. 140
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    Death to Hunt!


    • 151
      the real Chris Huhne says:

      Jesus to Chris Huhne: I tell thee Chris, before that cock’s crowed, you’ll have disowned me three times.
      Chris Huhne: What, Christ? Sorry – really bad line. Goodbye.


  43. 141
    the real Chris Huhne says:

    Manbians unite! I wasn’t here.


    • 147
      in reply, the world says:

      terribly bad line, terribly sorry, bad reception, I’ll talk to you later


    • 161
      Mr Christie-Miller says:

      I recommend you give Schillings a bell. They’re ever so good at managing media. Honestly. Some of their past clients have included …… well never mind that, but do please get your cheque book out.

      Their emergency number is on the website – +44 (0)20 7034 9000

      For the avoidance of doubt and any future litigation, this poster is not Rod Christie-Miller, Chief Executive and Partner at Schillings.


  44. 154

    “Like it or not, Lib Dem members read Guido Fawkes”

    We have to put up with Labour loonies here. Can’t these oiks have their ISPs banned?

    [N.B. for those with an irony transplant: ;-) )


    • 166
      Headline from the same libdem blog says:

      “David Laws got it right and Chris Huhne got it wrong.”

      Comment surely superfluous.


  45. 157

    Some more words that cannot be mentioned in proximity:

    The Duke of Westminster – Injunction


  46. 159
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    I see it’s being reported that the BBC and Sky were drawn from a hat today to ask Cameron and Obama a question. Apparently, Downing Street over ruled and gave Tom Bradby of ITV the slot over Sky. Sky not impressed.

    Why didn’t Downing Street get rid of the BBC, could this be Cameron’s new spin man who is ex BBC?


    • 165
      Infuriated of West Mids says:

      They’d have done better to stick with Sky. Tom Bradbury’s questions revealed the most distance in idealism between the two out of all the others.


      • 171
        Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        I can see why Cameron woulds give Bradby a question, he is probably the most balanced reporter going, but why didn’t they drop Toenails?

        Either it was because the new beeboid Cameron has working for him wanted his mate Toenails or by dropping sky Cameron is pretending not to be offering any favouritism towards the Murdoch empire.

        Whatever it stinks, no wonder Sophy Ridge isn’t happy on Twitter, the media should have told Cameron to get lost, that the media don’t get told by the politicians who asks the questions.

        Me thinks this matter will be getting more airtime


  47. 163
    Jack 'You're nicked Huhne' Regan says:


  48. 176
    Bob Crow the first, Act One says:

    Never mind the debt, once the land and properties presently owned by the descendants of past thieves and chosen criminals of the royal despots are returned to ownership by the people, for the people, then the books will be put to rights.
    Forward on to victory comrades, the T*ries are a dying breed in modern Britain.


    • 182

      So spake the rotting corpse of Marxism!


    • 185
      The Paragnostic says:


      We could sell off all the land, and all the property built upon it, in the whole of the UK, and still not cover the whole amount outstanding.

      Never mind, though – you do look proper hard with your Staffy and tracksuit – is that Barking gay chic?


      • 193
        Bob Crow the first, Act One says:

        Maths not your strong point is it son.


        • 198
          The Paragnostic says:

          It is, sunshine – you have obviously missed the pension liabilities when thinking about money owed.

          But then again you seem to think that driving a tube train is worth more than the average wage, which proves your stupidity.


    • 186
      Spittingfire says:

      Nice to see you here, Bob.

      Give us your opinion on SWT snubbing the petition to get Ian Faletto reinstated.



  49. 180
    • 192
      The Paragnostic says:

      Bennett has a point – shutting libraries is depriving the most needy children of access to books and learning, assuming that they are brought up by caring parents in the first place. They probably don’t do much for Shane and Tracey whose mum spends her giro on Stella and fags, but for those kids who want to improve and get themselves out of the rut their parents made for them, libraries are useful.

      Imagine the poor little lambs being deprived of Bennett’s monologues, which as I recall go something like:
      “I was having a nice cup of tea with that Thora Hird the other day, when a lemon fancy slipped down behind my cushion. Being too mortified to look, I hastily covered it with the antimacassar, before letting rip with a fart of truly Alexandrian proportions….”


      • 199
        Gordon McDribble in Parliament for President Omaha suckfest says:

        what part of there is no fucking money left does the cnut not understand


        • 225
          The Paragnostic says:

          There seems to be plenty of money for Council Pilgrims and for town clerks on £200K p.a., but none for libraries.

          And that’s all councils, not just the Labour-infested ones.


      • 223
        Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

        Why should libraries be expensive at all? You cannot give away books now, nobody wants them, everyone wants to read crap on a kindle – if anything, libraries should be blossoming now with donations from all sorts of folks quite happy to get rid of all their books to a good cause – and that good cause is education, teaching children to read, expanding their horizons. This can be done now on the cheap – the only reason it isn’t is because TPTB following Tavistock orders want a completely thick dumbed down subservient peasant class again.


      • 237
        AC1 says:

        I’ve been told that libraries are not shutting, but staff are being replaced with volunteers.

        Now… There’s no shortage of volunteers in places where the kids get read books all day and night and there’s no need, but in the benefit addicted areas there’s problems.

        The problem is the feckless rewards, not the libraries!


  50. 189
    Tankus says:

    “””Under a question titled “Departmental Taxis” in Hansard, Labour’s Maria Eagle has asked about travel costs racked up by Energy Ministers over the past year. A little over £46,000 is the bill for Chris Huhne in terms of private vehicle hire.

    Here is the written Parliamentary question and response:

    Departmental Taxis
    Maria Eagle: To ask the Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change how much his Department has spent on private vehicle hire for Ministerial travel (a) in total and (b) in respect of each Minister in his Department since 11 May 2010. [56121]

    Gregory Barker: I refer the hon. Member to the answer I gave her on 5 April 2011, Official Report, column 881W.

    Between 11 May 2010 and 2 September 2010, DECC had contracts with the Government Car and Despatch Agency for four ministerial cars.

    These contracts were subject to a three month notice period, which DECC invoked on 1 June 2010. Between that same period of 11 May 2010 and 2 September, the costs to the Department of the contract with the Government Car and Despatch Agency were £108,698.

    The total spent on private vehicle hire, including vehicles provided through these contracts, between 11 May 2010 and 30 April 2011 is broken down as follows:

    Chris Huhne £46,194″””


    • 200
      Traffic Expert says:

      Looks a little different, it you provide the full information rather than selectively quoting. With the full quote you see spending massively done on the previous year and Huhne himself only third highest spender out of four ministers.

      The total spent on private vehicle hire, including vehicles provided through these contracts, between 11 May 2010 and 30 April 2011 is broken down as follows:

      Chris Huhne
      Gregory Barker
      Charles Hendry
      Lord Marland

      This compares with £303,129 which DECC spent on GCDA ministerial cars during the period 1 April 2009 to 31 March 2010. All travel is undertaken in accordance with the Ministerial Code.


      • 232
        Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

        Shame the stupid troughing MEP fuckyonnaire didn’t take a taxi home from Stansted in 2003! No chance tho, it would have meant him opening his moth-ridden wallet for a change…


  51. 196
    The Paragnostic says:

    I know Ed’s not tying the knot until Friday, but I’m in a mood for pastiche tonight, so here’s some non-Larkin:

    The Witless Edding.

    That Whitsun, Ed was late getting away:
    Not till about
    One-twenty on the due appointed day
    Did his three-quarters-empty brain break out,
    All polling down, all credibility shot, all sense
    Of having public duty gone. He ran
    Behind the backs of unions, crossed the line
    Of blind incompetence, smelt the coffee; thence
    The paper’s cynical damning scorn began,
    And so it was that Ed and Justine were entwined.


    • 203
      An even better poem says:

      There was an old whore from Silesia
      Who said “if my Huhne doesn’t please ya
      You can jolly well come
      Up my slimy old bum
      But mind Jimmy the tapeworm don’t seize ya”.


    • 250
      Ben D Carrick says:

      Is he afraid he might forget what his policies are ? What’s he tying the knot in ?


  52. 208
    Cock Handy says:

    I would like to offer my esteemed colleague, Chris Huhne, my full support. I too know what it’s like to be the subject of malicious and completely unfounded allegations.

    The people of Portsmouth South and Eastleigh are as one at this very difficult time.


    • 216
      Just you wait says:

      Guido will get Huhne out. Just like he got you out.


      • 285
        when says:

        is handycock going, why don’t MPs hound their spy shagging colleagues, it should be part of their job.


    • 234
      Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

      You’re next for the + mate.



    • 239
      nell says:

      Why is it that the libdems have been exposed, since going into real government posts, as being so consistently awful, incompetent and clearly not up to the job.

      handyperson, laws(disappointing how he was exposed as a mega trougher) , cable(sadly emerged very quickly as a bumbling idiot) , huhne, oakshott, the renniechap, simonwhatsisname, paddy……….

      I really really feel sorry for cleggie. He’s a decent man trying to do a decent job with the coalition but he has very few, if any, libdem mp’s of any intellect or integrity that he can call on to help.

      For those of us who thought the libdems would become the new 2nd party to replace failed, totally corrupt, useless labour, it has been a sad eye opener on the frailties of clay gods.


      • 255

        Could be a good election slogan for the reds.

        Vote Labour: For competent incompetents.


        • 282
          crash says:

          At least labour scratched the backs of the people covering for them, cheating on someone then leaving them is not the way to get them to keep a devastating secret you Hoons.


  53. 210
    A carefully orhestrated camnpoaign just breaking on twitter says:

    based on a piece in tomorrow’s torygraph

    “Chris Huhne has achieved more in a year than most top politicians manage in a lifetime” via @libdemvoice

    “Over the last two weeks, as the crisis he faces steadily deepened, he has been the driving force behind two of the most momentous decisions any administration has taken, ones that could shape Britain’s economic development for the rest of the century, and beyond.

    Last week the government adopted the world-beating goal of cutting carbon emissions to half 1990 levels by 2025. No other country, as Nick Clegg put it, “has set legally-binding targets in this much detail, so far ahead”. And then yesterday it announced that it was setting up an effective, independent, statutorily-based, Green Investment Bank, the first of its kind anywhere in the world. Taken together, they seem set to make David Cameron’s pledge to run “the greenest government ever” – which was in danger of becoming a national joke – a sober reality. The environmentalists who were so loud in writing government off just a fortnight ago are now looking green in more senses than one.”

    And so on. Best we just canonise the muthaf’ucka now.


    • 228
      Bob Crow the first, Act One says:

      Even the T*ries are socialists now.


      • 245
        nell says:

        ‘The tories are socialists’ ?!!

        Is that what bobcrow and kinnochio are telling militwit in order to push the gulllible little wimp even further to the left?

        More power to their elbow I say!


    • 229
      The Paragnostic says:

      Make sure you double charge the cannon first…


    • 236
      Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

      Saint Huhne of Three Points.


      • 246

        Douze points, s’il vous plait.


        • 278
          Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

          Null points now on the huhne’s licence due to assorted blow up dolls copping for the huhne = my prediction is 8 months in pokey, doubled by Mrs Clarke of Hush Puppies in a test case, because hujne A wasted everyone’s time and did not admit guilty when he had the chance. Mrs Huhne (ex) = clean licence again and an OBE, trebles all round!


    • 244

      McDoom was always setting targets too.

      Didn’t he promise everyone a laptop? Or broadband? Or a new boiler or something. Every street to have its own hospital? 1 billion new homes by 2012.

      The target is the easy bit.
      Its achieving it that’s the difficult bit, Huhne.

      I think he proposed to halve our carbon emissions by shutting down all that’s left of UK manufacturing by making energy so expensive it would be cheaper to move all the factories to Mexico.


      • 280
        Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

        Or a new boiler or something…

        MORE TROUGHING – Huhne got TWO!


        • 287
          Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

          And 7 seven






          houses spent probably 2-5k per house getting them up to huhne specs vis a vis the next ice age legislation has has steamrollered in…


      • 304
        Grímsvötn says:

        Quite. If you add up the “carbon footprint” of all imported goods, the figures will look a hell of a lot worse.

        Even if you accept the premise that carbon reduction is good, why are we exporting our manufacturing to China, where it will be powered by all their new coal fired power stations, instead of manufacturing things here, where, yes, it might increase OUR emissions, but will reduce the planets? The policy is bonkers.

        Just build the nuclear power stations FFS. That’s the only policy that the department needs to worry about. GET ON WITH IT YOU HUHNES!


  54. 227
    De Legalistas says:

    Me needz yor data right. All yor ISP stuff-like, man. Mez gonna sue yo injunction-breaking asses. Den mez gona celebrate wiv me Julie and her lesbo mates, innit! Irie!


    • 306
      Dave from the Westsiiide, aaaiii! says:

      Booyakasha! Me has boned your Julie. Her punani is tight! Hear me now!


  55. 238

    “Twitter prepared to hand over user data”


    Time was when you could trust this paper…


    • 241
      nell says:

      The telegraph has veered from the left-wing to the bizarre for a number of years now.

      In truth it’s more confused about what it is at this point in time than gordon brown who still thinks he’s going to be head of imf by next month!!


    • 249
      You've lost me there says:

      what has that got to do with the torygraph specifically? it’s been widely reported like here


      • 257

        Oh! Sorry! That bastion of editorial independence, the BBC… I was forgetting myself.


        • 258

          Chris Huhne’s former wife signed a sworn legal confession, admitting that she had taken speeding points on behalf of the Energy Secretary, The Daily Telegraph has learnt.


        • 259
          Now you are being stupid says:

          It’s everywhere and it’s attributed to the head of Twitter Europe who said it in a public Q and A session in Paris and i would guess would have put the record straight by now if he hadn’t said it.


          • Let us see. But:

            1. Twitter want an in to the UK for their ops so they would make such noises, wouldn’t they? And

            2. There is some President in town at the moment, can’t remember his name. Avoiding boat rocking and all that …

            When push comes to shove, you may even be right. I doubt it.


          • crash says:

            Well we know so long as you don’t throw a fire extinguisher off of a roof that Guido wont turn you in.


          • It аppеаrs thаt yоυ hаvе sоmе difficυlty in diffеrеntiаting bеtwееn аn аctiоn which cаυsеs risk оf dеаth аnd injυry tо mаny pеоplе, оn thе оnе hаnd, аnd аn аctiоn which stаnds аgаinst lаw mаdе, nоt by оυr pаrliаmеnt, nоt еvеn by thе Еυrоpеаn pаrliаmеnt, bυt by jυdgеs аcting, in thе mаin, tо prеsеrvе thе brаnds оf thе rich аnd privilеgеd аgаinst thе frееdоm оf spееch аnd оf thе prеss – jυdgе-mаdе lаw. Thаt is yоυr difficυlty, nоt minе. If I wеrе in thе UK, I mаy nоt hаvе sаid sоmе оf whаt I hаvе. Hоwеvеr, I аm nоt in thе UK nоr, аt prеsеnt, еvеn in thе ЕU. Sо I sаy whаt I dо tо rеtаin thаt frееdоm fоr pеоplе, sυch аs yоυrsеlf, bеcаυsе I think it is right. I dо nоt еxpеct аny thаnks, which in yоυr cаsе, is jυst аs wеll. If yоυ, оr аny оthеrs, wаnt tо cоmе аftеr mе, I аm rеаdy. Dо hаvе а nicе night.


    • 254
      The Paragnostic says:

      Floatation coming up – wanting to set up European / UK offices to sell advertising – could Twitter’s new ‘European’ (he looks a bit Chinese to me) head say anything else?


  56. 242

    Does Sir Alexander Chapman Purplenose have any injunctions out?


  57. 247
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am big boy. I do ploppy and wipe my own bot bot. It right thing to do.


  58. 248
    Oof says:

    Meanwhile, at the other end of the political spectrum, another one bites the dust:


  59. 260
    The Lord Chief Executioner says:

    Chris Huhne’s ex-wife signs confession over points claim

    Chris Huhne’s former wife signed a sworn legal confession, admitting that she had taken speeding points on behalf of the Energy Secretary, Guido Fawkes has learnt.


    • 265
      I'll have a P please Bob says:


      “Weeks before being interviewed by the police, Vicky Pryce signed an affidavit declaring that she took the points around the time she first told a Sunday newspaper that Mr Huhne had forced “someone” to take points on his behalf. It is believed to have been signed in front of a lawyer and is in the paper’s possession.”

      Implication:the Sunday paper knew a fruitcake when it interviewed one and wouldn’t run the story on her unsupported word.

      Doesn’t really alter the situation.


  60. 263
    Rocky IV says:

    Weeks before being interviewed by the police, Vicky Pryce signed an affidavit declaring that she took the points around the time she first told a Sunday newspaper that Mr Huhne had forced “someone” to take points on his behalf. It is believed to have been signed in front of a lawyer and is in the paper’s possession. Essex police refused to confirm whether they have requested the document.

    Its existence strengthens the likelihood that Miss Pryce told detectives that she took penalty points on behalf of her former husband when she was interviewed on Tuesday.

    It also proves she is willing to testify against her former husband, despite the fact that she would be admitting a criminal offence were she to do so. The pair could face charges of conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.


    • 289
      Maximus says:

      Local government tendering under nu liebore got so corrupt that informers had to be offered complete immunity from prosecution in return for information. We may argue about how much mitigation is right in any particular case, but there is no disputing mitigation exists and is applied.


    • 291
      Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

      It also proves she is willing to testify against her former husband, despite the fact that she would be admitting a criminal offence were she to do so. The pair could face charges of conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.

      It proves to me that this amazing woman has balls the size of large planets and is willing to do some time in order to get her justified revenge!

      More power to her!!!

      There must be 100s of 1000s of men out there (amd a few women too) with extremely squaky bums over the outcome of this case.

      Yes – plod do not normally want to get involved in domestics, but this will open a real can of worms.


  61. 264
    Chris Huhne says:

    Je ne regret nothing!


  62. 288
    John Prescott says:

    For that which it is and has been said in terms of this when I said we believe because of that and therefore as I told you it being that in our manifest for which Tony of traditional policies in being then modern setting that will allow party unite New Labour and yes.


  63. 290
    Vicky Price says:

    Chris was shit in bed.


  64. 299
    Gordon Brown says:

    Why wasn’t I invited onto Oprah’s final show? The American people had a right to see me.


  65. 300
    Bob Crow says:

    uP dA wORKaz!


  66. 301
    Ken Clarke says:

    I’m having a nap.


  67. 302
    not a machine says:

    Lib dems hold emergency meeting ? : it will probebly be the missing stapler again


  68. 305
    Gordon Brown says:

    300th! I’m prime minister again!


  69. 307
    joescotus says:

    thank you AC1 ,I read this portrait of journalism over 30 years ago but could never remember it in full
    …….putrid shit…. commentating on shit


  70. 308

    Huhne is running out of road.


  71. 309
    Lou Scannon says:

    Vanishing support for the LibDems indicates that a rebranding exercise is called for. They should rename themselves the Homeopathic Tendency.


  72. 314

    Sоlіcіtоrs аnd Bаrrіstеrs rаrеly hаvе а dеvеlоpеd sеnsе оf mоrаl аnd еthіcаl vаlυеs. І hаvе mеt qυіtе а fеw іn my tіmе аnd mаny аrе stіll gооd frіеnds оf mіnе. Sоmе аrе vеry brіght аnd оthеrs еxtrеmеly dυll аnd slоw. Lіkе іn оthеr wаlks оf lіfе, thеy аrе а mіxtυrе.

    Thеіr whоlе еxіstеncе іs bаsеd υpоn wіnnіng sо, іn thаt rеspеct, thеy hаvе mυch іn cоmmоn wіth prоfеssіоnаl fооtbаllеrs. Thе prоmіnеnt оnеs оftеn, bυt nоt аlwаys, bеcоmе qυіtе аrrоgаnt, lіkе thеіr cоυntеrpаrts оn thе fіеld. Sυch аn аpprоаch іn lіfе cаn dυll thе sеnsеs іn rеspеct оf whаt cоnstіtυtеs dеcеncy, dеmоcrаcy аnd frееdоm. Hυmіlіty іs fоυnd, bυt rаrеly, іn thеsе rаthеr rеmоtе bеіngs аt thе tоp оf thе pіlе.

    Thеіr wоrk іs аbsоlυtеly nеcеssаry, thоυgh, tо cіvіlіsеd lіfе. Thе prоblеm іs thаt wе hаvе nоt hаd, fоr а grеаt mаny yеаrs, аn еxеcυtіvе оr lеgіslаtυrе оf sυffіcіеnt mоrаl chаrаctеr tо cоυntеrbаlаncе thеm аnd аccоrdіngly thеy hаvе gоnе оff оn thеіr оwn rаmpаgе. Sоmе аrе nоw pаyіng thе prіcе fоr іmаgіnіng thаt thеіr cоsy lіttlе wоrld wоυld cаrry оn fоr еvеr.


    • 319
      Dalai Llama Ding Dong says:

      Nice insights.

      All professions now, all walks of life, except the boaz troughers – will suffer a long sharp shock. The elite’s agenda is to HOBBLE the usa and uk. Been going on for way over 50 years – China, of course, is the beneficiary – the bullingham traitors and bliar broon and co are all the traitors in plain sight – including all at the top right now…


  73. 322

    Thinks you’ve all gone down with a bit of that obsessive compulsive disorder again here.

    Just admit to your dissapointment and have done with it.


  74. 329
    marcus Aurelius says:

    Dave this is the time to pick a massive fight with the EU and face down the yellow bastards. How about abrogating the treaty on yooman rights? We have Magna Carta and the English Bill of Rights to protect us against jackboots.

    On the subject of the Bill of Rights, Tony Blair removed it from the HoC library.

    How about reprinting it and distributing it to every school for study in the literacy hour?

    And yes I know it guarantees the right to bear arms.



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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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