May 17th, 2011

Misery Index : Misery Up As Inflation Rises

Today’s inflation rose with CPI increasing 4.5% in April from 4.0% in March the highest rate since since October 2008. Guido’s Misery Index however uses the Retail Price Index, which though dropping slightly, is essentially flat lining. Misery has risen again due to a rise in the Public Sector cash requirement, which soared this month. We were happier in April, but as the Coalition reaches a year, the Misery Index reaches a high of 20.50. Nearly the most unhappy we’ve been all year…

The Misery Index adds on the government’s deficit divided by the GDP taken from the latest figures from the Office for National Statistics.

Retail Prices Index + Unemployment rate + ( Public Sector Net Cash Requirement / GDP ) = Misery Index

Plugging in the latest available figures for this month gives you:

5.2% + 7.8% + (24.8 / 330.8 x 100)  = 20.50

N.B. Stats bods can check Guido’s adding up here.

117 Comments

  1. 1
    Chris Huhne says:

    I’m miserable.

    Like

    • 10
      Miss Pryce says:

      I can confirm that Christopher is a miserable git.

      Like

      • 107
        Anonymous says:

        I’m so happy I’m delirious.
        Delirious about the future.
        Delirious about the causes of the future.

        Like

    • 25
      I'm Sad says:

      I’m miserable now that Harriet has just been on my TV. Wanting to commit British taxpayers to foreign aid forever more and Dave agrees with her.

      Even worse because we ain’t got the readies we have to borrow our foreign aid off the foreign markets and pay them interest.

      Like

      • 37
        India and Pah Kiss Tan says:

        Shut up! We need to fund space programmes, build enormous navies, make nuclear bombs.

        David Camoron agrees, so just shut up and give us your money!

        Like

    • 32
      Voodo Dick says:

      The Curse of Jonah Brown stries again. From this moment on, when Dominique Strauss-Khan stroked Gordon’s willy he was doomed.

      http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2011/may/16/imf-successors-dominique-strauss-khan

      Like

      • 63
        Sir William Waad says:

        I used to know a chap who looked a lot like Brown in that picture. Decent person, quite well-dressed and educated, couldn’t do enough for my mother, but schizophrenic. You could have a good conversation with him but you had to avoid anything that might worry him or ‘set him off’.

        I think Brown could have been a useful member of society if he had found the right job and the correct supervision. but making him head of the IMF would be like putting an arsonist in charge of the fire brigade.

        Like

  2. 2
    Gordon Brown says:

    You’re all miserable because you miss me. You want me back as your prime minister.

    Like

    • 36
      smoggie says:

      We want you as the IMF leader. By that I mean locked up in Rikers Island.

      Like

    • 38
      we're not laughing now says:

      There’s some truth in that, you were comedy gold as PM no doubt about it.

      Like

    • 49
      Male Lesbian says:

      You, sir, are a vicarious embarrassment to any decent citizen of the UK.

      Like

    • 60
      I hate Blue Labour says:

      No, not really, I wish you’d succumb to a terrible, painful, terminal illness.

      Like

      • 115
        Only me says:

        Gordy -
        You weren’t much of a celebrity as PM.
        You had a lot of bad luck

        But while you were in charge, I made LOADS OF MONEY!!

        Please come back

        Like

  3. 3
    Charlie Kennedy says:

    Make mine a double.

    Like

  4. 4
    Steve Miliband says:

    You’ve forgotten the ‘Gordon Brown not in office’ multiplier

    Like

  5. 5
    miserable says:

    I cannot work out if I am miserable or not, as I wonder how you measure misery.

    Like

  6. 6
    Ali Dizaei says:

    Yeah peeps, this is payback for the slave trade and all de other shit wot you done during days of empire. Karma come to get at ya innit ? No one in Government has appologised for da slave trade for at least a year now, you is ALL institutionally racist innit ?

    Like

    • 11
      Shut your mouth you dirty sack of puke says:

      You’re iranian, not black, you crooked wankstain. I’m glad you had a bucket of shit thrown on you. You’re a nasty c unt and I hope you end up in chokey again very soon.

      Like

      • 86
        tell it like it really is says:

        Unf**kin’believably – Wasacon but Notaconatthemoment Desai is spouting that he wants to be reinstated in the police force……..he must be thinking if the senior police NOT dismissed this week, when they should have been, can get away with it so can he. What a shit country and government.

        Like

    • 71
      Titford Hat says:

      The slave trade was all run by black people, as indeed it still is today.

      Who has apologised for the enslavement of the population of the Irish town of Baltimore (including 108 English pilchard fishermen), raided by Algerian pirates in 1631?

      Like

      • 82
        Mad Hattie Harman says:

        Shut up, you racist!

        Like

        • 111
          The BBC says says:

          In the first half of the 1600s, Barbary corsairs – pirates from the Barbary Coast of North Africa, authorised by their governments to attack the shipping of Christian countries – ranged all around Britain’s shores. In their lanteen-rigged xebecs (a type of ship) and oared galleys, they grabbed ships and sailors, and sold the sailors into slavery. Admiralty records show that during this time the corsairs plundered British shipping pretty much at will, taking no fewer than 466 vessels between 1609 and 1616, and 27 more vessels from near Plymouth in 1625. As 18th-century historian Joseph Morgan put it, ‘this I take to be the Time when those Corsairs were in their Zenith’.

          Unfortunately, it was hardly the end of them, even then. Morgan also noted that he had a ‘…List, printed in London in 1682′ of 160 British ships captured by Algerians between 1677 and 1680.

          More detail the BBC doesn’t give:

          In 1631 a galley arrived in Algiers after having raided Baltimore, Ireland. Aboard were eighty-three captives, including children. Father Pierre Dan, a priest who negotiated ransoms, described the selling on an Irish family at the slave mart. “It was a piteous sight to see them exposed for sale at Algiers, for when they parted the wife from the husband, and the father from the child; then, say I, they sell the husband here, and the wife there, tearing from her arms the daughter whom she cannot hope to see ever again.”

          Like

      • 116
        Algie says:

        Yeah – Sorry

        Like

  7. 7
    Shurely shome mishtake? says:

    Nice to see you use the RPI for your calculations.

    That would be the same RPI that, er, fell last month, would it?

    Like

  8. 8
    When two tribes go to war says:

    If the Oirish Blow up our Queen will there be a war?

    Like

  9. 9
    Chris Huhne says:

    Carine has the biggest strap-on.

    Like

  10. 12
    Selohesra says:

    I think your formula needs a bit of tweaking – Chris Huhne’s problems have really cheered me up.

    Pippa’s arse too needs to be factored in.

    Like

  11. 14

    I think Eric Weiner’s The Geography of Bliss provides a better explanation of why England’s an unhappy country.

    Like

    • 18
      AC1 says:

      > Weiner, a veteran foreign correspondent for National Public Radio

      I think that safely rules out his idea of a nice place as being valid for more that hard-lefties.

      Like

  12. 17
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    And Rusty Daves answer to Broitish taxpayer misery?

    Act like Hattie Harmen & enshrine overseas aid into law.

    When will the real Conservative Parliamentary Party actually put down their expense claim forms & recognise the damage that this heathite pro EU neo liberal is doing to their voter base?

    Blue Labour out.

    Like

    • 57
      Tessa Tickles says:

      “When will the real Conservative Parliamentary Party actually put down their abysmal leader?”

      Like

  13. 20
    sean says:

    Labours Debt Tax is what it really is.

    Like

  14. 22
    Chris Hoon says:

    Why did Guido’s readers send me this saying from Aeschylus ??

    ‘All arrogance will reap a harvest rich in tears. God calls men to a heavy reckoning for overweening pride’.

    Like

  15. 24
    William says:

    20% misery is really nothing.

    Like

  16. 26
    Chris The Leatherman says:

    Mrs. Leatherman and I were chosen, we think as a result of the census form, to be interviewed by the National Staitstical Office. They asked us how happy we were with life out of 10 10 . I replied 9.5 and she replied 10. That might skew the figures a bit. There were a lot of other strange, philosophical, questions which made us think a bit. You would think they could cut a bit of government spending by cutting out all that nonsense.

    Like

  17. 26
    Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

    Cutting British spending to hand more money over to the socialist EU is not what I would recognise as a Conservative value.

    Getting rid of our Harriers to give Pakistan more aid is not a Conservative value I recognise.

    Higher taxes under Dave than Gordon is not a Conservative value I recognise.

    20% VAT is a travesty & not in keeping with Conservative values.

    Highest petrol prices in our history under David Cameron destroying trade & any chance of economic recovery.

    A reminder to all those troughing Tories in the House:

    * Low Taxes

    * Small State

    * Minimal legislative interference in the free market & lives of individuals.

    Blue Labour out.

    Like

    • 28
      Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

      Moderated. Welcome to HYS.

      Like

    • 101
      scratch and sniff says:

      calm down dear – dave will see us alright in the end – trust him

      Like

      • 104
        Cameron is a cunt says:

        Over the next 4 years, Dave will throw away 4 x £11.5bn foreign aid and 4 x £10bn EU contributions = £86billion. Every single penny down the toilet. At the same time, he’s going to continue increases in government borrowing and increase our taxes, whilst handing ever more control of our country to unelected bureaucrats in Brussels – all of this against the wishes of the British people.

        Cameron is a c*unt.

        Like

  18. 29
    Handycock, No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    I’m doing fine, Off to Russia next week. Got to keep troughing, troughing.

    Like

  19. 31
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    You are joking Guido, The first Test match of the Summer starts in couple of weeks.

    Stop talking the econmey down :-)

    Like

    • 34
      Ali Dizaei says:

      Billy Bowden , you represent all the evils of your countries colonial past. You is Institutionally Racist too innit ?

      Like

      • 89
        tell it like it really is says:

        Dear Dizzy Desai, to help you broaden your knowledge of the police force you would find it most instructive to read the comments regarding yourself from your former colleagues on Insp Gadget – everyone else, have a good laugh.

        Like

    • 41
      aaaarrrrrghhh!!!!! says:

      Billy wtf is the econmey, WTF IS THE ECONMEY!!!!!!

      Like

  20. 33
    Gordon Brown says:

    I want to be head of the Run DMC.

    Like

    • 76
      Sir William Waad says:

      It’s OK, Gordon, we have at last found a position that suits your talents. Now that Jeff Tracy has at last retired, we are putting you in charge of International Rescue. This will require you to live on a super-secret island location, away from human contact.

      Be prepared for time transport to the late 21st century! Your time machine will arrive soon, (cleverly disguised as an ordinary van for the secure transporation of miscreants). F.A.B.!

      Like

    • 90
      I says:

      Have you tried running at the head of The London Marathon…..you’ve more chance of winning that!

      Like

    • 105
      Billy Preston is the 2nd best 5th beatle says:

      That will never happen for as long as you walk that way

      Like

  21. 38
    • 48
      Mornington Crescent says:

      I thought we were going to get rid of the target ‘cultcha’ anyway. Oh, sorry, that was before the election.

      Like

    • 65
      Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

      What do you expect from a Heathite like Cameron?

      Conservative values & common sense?

      Continuity Labour out.

      Like

  22. 40
    Huhne to give statement on carbon emissions at 4.30 says:

    It was originally going to be a written statement only.
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-13417997

    Like

    • 53
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Reducing your speed cuts vehicle emissions…

      Like

      • 64
        What a bunch of c*nts says:

        It does indeed. That’s why the coalition government headed by the like of “Drives Like a Maniac” Huhne and Dave “I’ve got an eco-friendly Windmill” Camoron are thinking of increasing the limit to 80.

        Like

  23. 43
    EdMiliband says:

    I mean, what ith mithery? It meanth different thingth to different people on a reverential exponential. Ith an abthract meathure, typical Torieth.

    I couldn’t be clearer on that.

    Like

  24. 50
    Gordon Brown says:

    I always fly BOAC

    Like

  25. 56
    Titford Hat says:

    Every day my happiness index rockets up to infinity when I remember that McSnot is no longer gibbering at 10 Downing Street.

    Like

    • 70
      ex-Conservative voter says:

      Same here, but the index goes into freefall as I hesitate to pick the paper up every morning in case I read yet another news item about Dave deciding to p!ss-away even more of the money we don’t have.

      Like

    • 72
      Righty Right Wing (Mrs) says:

      And “continuity Labour” under Cameron is better why?

      Cameron is spending more than McRuin.

      Cameron is giving away more of our money via DFID & to the EU than McRuin.

      So what is the difference – & why are the Conservatives backing a Heathite like him when electoral ruin will be inevitable?

      Blue Labour out.

      Like

      • 73
        Sophie says:

        + 1

        Like

      • 91
        ex-Conservative voter says:

        I’m not so sure electoral ruin is inevitable. In my opinion Cameron is not up to the job as evidenced by one mistake after another, each usually followed by a screeching u-turn (but he stubbornly refuses to accept he’s got the foreign aid increase disastrously wrong). However.. the unions have saddled Labour with someone indisputably worse than Cameron.

        The Cons know this, and stick with him. How else can you explain loyalty to an imbecile who cuts the defence budget by 8% during a war to fund a 34% increase in the foreign aid budget and then immediately starts another war?

        Like

    • 78
      Backwoodsman says:

      …then it plunges when I remember that the Tories missed the chance to actually have the bonfire of the quangoes they promised, to drastically reform the bbc, to end wastefull overseas aid , or to ensure that real retribution was visted on those in the labour party guilty of so many misdemeanors.

      Like

  26. 59
    The Boss says:

    As a common Juggernutty driving a Juggernaut around Europe,the 6 hours each week I spend in the UK makes me very unhappy while the 39 hours I spend Juggernuttying around Europe makes me very happy.

    Like

    • 75
      Engineer says:

      Just out of curiousity, what do you do with the other 123 hours a week, and are you happy during those?

      Like

  27. 62
    Chris Huhne says:

    Carine is my dream dominatrix.

    Like

  28. 68
    The Honourable Member for Kircaldy says:

    I want to be the boss of the STD.

    Like

  29. 83
    Guilty Huhne says:

    This should help relieve the misery.

    Chris Huhne: the night of the speeding penalty points
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/liberaldemocrats/8517682/Chris-Huhne-the-night-of-the-speeding-penalty-points.html

    Like

    • 100
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      Interesting, almost works for the defense!

      They have her leaving at 10pm from the dinner, and possibly picking him up from the airport at 10:30pm.
      But of course, she could easily have left before coffee etc. and come on …. if you’re picking someone up from a ryanair flight you DO NOT aim to arrive at the airport the second its supposed to touch down and do the fanfare jingle. So it fits.
      It also gives her good reason to be in essex at that time of day.

      BUT: you’d have thought he’d get a taxi or park his car there.
      AND: No-one appears to know when the speeding took place.

      Like

    • 106
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      poo. de-m_o_dders for lunch

      The timing in there actually works is ok for huhne. Gives his wife an excuse to be in essex too.

      Like

  30. 84
    The Boss says:

    Engineer…the other 123 hours each week are spent enjoying the finest food ,wines,the warmer climes and crap French television and of course sleeping.A tough life but someone has to do it.I could also spend a great deal of time enjoying the multitude of hookers plying their wares by the side of,it would seem,every road in France but there just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day

    Like

  31. 85
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ve just been to the garage at Silverstone. It’s the pits!

    Like

  32. 92
    Anonymous says:

    Harriet was also on the radio gracing the VD programme (great initials but given the choice I would take the STD). Anyway, Harriet was having a pop at Liam Fox for challenging Dave over writing an amount of cash for foreign aid into law. For most right thinking people the use of aid begins here. How many children still live in poverty? No aid for countries who have nuclear and space programmes. Get some balls Dave.

    Like

  33. 95
    Soggy Bin Bag says:

    I’m back. How many virgins do you want?

    Like

  34. 97
    Not me, guv says:

    I have just farted. Luckily, the dog has agreed to take all the blame.

    Like

  35. 99

    The policy of rampant money printing to bail out bankers coming home to roost innit. Pound up on news for some reason.

    Like

  36. 110
    Nemo says:

    What’s the betting that that inflation will hit 5% next month, petrol avg £1.50/litre, food up another 5%, gas & electric up again 5%, anyone for anymore.

    Like

  37. 112
    1X284 says:

    Raising the debt ceiling in nothing short of taxation. The federal government is devaluing the value of everything -especially YOU.

    Like


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