May 16th, 2011

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


  1. 1

    Iain Dale and Mad Nads.

    • 3
      Bowden is a tosser says:

      Much funnier than the cartoon

      • 55
        Black Swan 2011 comes to Israel says:

        The seeds of democracy planted in Eyeraq all those years ago by President Dubya have finally spread to Palestine.

        How did those peperoni eating forces of the paragon of democracies in the Middle East react? Just like the forces of all the other dictators and tyrants (Quaddaffi, Assad, Mubarak, Yemeni President, Bahreni King) in the Arab lands surrounding them – shoot the Fred Flintstones and Barney Rubbles!

        Freedom and democracy will prevail!

        Bin Laden’s legacy the fight for the right to free pornography!

        • 60
          AC1 says:

          Dimwit, they had elections years ago. They elected a bunch of terrorists, and now reap the whirlwind.

          It couldn’t happen to a more deserving bunch.

          • Black Swan 2011 comes to Israel says:

            Look more closely, Ostrich.

            The Syrian Palestinians still remember after 60 years. What elections did they have under the Assad dynasty, idiot.

          • Dick the Prick says:

            Exactly – Assad kills ayrabs, Hussein kills ayrabs, Al Saud kills ayrabs, UK kills ayrabs, Obama kills ayrabs, ayrabs kill ayrabs – hell, just get the Chinks involved and we’ve got a full house!

    • 4
      Cart huhne says:

      Is it the IMF boss and the chamber maid?

      • 7
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        Chamber maid? Perhaps the 22ish year old journalist (who is now ~32).

      • 9
        What a huhne says:

        She went to the bedroom and a naked man rushed from the bathroom to the bedroom. She apologized, the law enforcement official said, and tried to leave.

        But according to the official, the man chased her, grabbed her and shut the door, locking it. He then pulled her toward the bedroom, the official said, and tried to attack her there.

        He dragged her to the bathroom, the official added, and forced her to perform oral sex. The police said the woman eventually escaped from the suite and reported the attack to other hotel personnel, who called 911.

        • 13
          Backwoodsman says:

          No danger of that happening if brown gets his wish. Better check if the beard owns a chambermaids costume !

        • 15
          Protect this witness says:

          I’ve a feeling this woman’s life is about to be ruined as Kahn and his lawyers twist events and make him the victim and she the culprit.

          Her allegations are costing some very rich and powerful people a lot of money. Unless she also has a top law team then she is toast

          • eitb873bc says:

            It’s time the ‘rich and powerful’ were punished.

          • Charles Manson says:

            Good idea. Why’s no-one thought of that before?

          • Dick the Prick says:

            Dunno – has all the elements of a classic honey trap.

          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            Look into the story in detail (and worse- of previous presidents), and you might never complain about British politicians again.

          • THe Earl of Grantham's woody Dildo says:

            Hey Charlie, you still alive? I thought they sat you ona that electric chair?

          • BaggPuss says:

            Quite. This woman has obviuosly been paid (maybe by ze Germans) to discredit a great man of the Left, who brought peace and the euro to millions. After all, she is black and a single mother so therefore she would easily take a bribe.

          • Susie says:

            Strauss-Khan had a spat with the ECB last week over Greek bailout II… the IMF wanted evidence of Greece paying off more of its debts before the IMF were prepared to put more money into the pot.

            And then a few days later, he’s caught in a honey trap? Hmmm. I’ve no doubt that he’s guilty as charged, but the timing’s very convenient for the EU isn’t it? Gets rid of Sarkozy’s rival and an obstruction to the ECB’s plans.

          • Socialism has murdered 150 million human beings pride says:

            To slime as high as he has in the IMF/french politics he must have a high degree of animal cunning. Even if the story about the 22 year old is true (and once someone is charged all sorts of stories emerged from the woodwork. If Guido hisself were charged in similar fashion probably some woman would contact the press to say he tried to grope her tits back at Uni–the press would be trying hard to find something if the story was high-profile enough) it seems very unlikely that this man would run naked to fling himself on the maid and think he could get away with it, French egotist or not.

          • Osama the Nazarene says:

            That is a first – a Socialist wanting “…evidence of Greece paying off more of its debts…”! Usual reaction is fill your boots boys (and girls).

          • AC1 says:

            Sociopaths surround themselves with people who depend on them for their position.

            Any sociopath would try and get as many flawed people into jobs of power, and protect them until they were no longer useful to them.

          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            the 22 year old’s story isn’t being actively promoted by the media.

            She made the allegation on late night TV many years ago. Plenty of old links about the story, even one from friday in the guardian.

          • AC1 says:

            well post the link

        • 208
          Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

          Let me tell you the woman does not have a chance. The police will stitch it up, as they did for me, and refuse to prosecute on the grounds of one person’s word against another. Anyway what is wrong in what he did? The woman is not underage and he is a politician.

    • 140
      Sarah Smith says:

      Definetly NOT Jackie Smith!

    • 179
    • 198
      Liberal Tories are Traitors says:

      Cameron cancels Nimrod – British ships now completely unprotected & reliant on Foreign aid:

  2. 2
    Bowden is a tosser says:

    Will Rich & Mark ever do a funny original cartoon

    • 30
      Mark Andrich is a bigger tosser says:


    • 51
      Sir William Waad says:

      Basically, then, there is no news concerning Huhne and we are trying to keep the pot boiling before everybody loses interest.

      Mind you, I think he did it, because he’s the kind of chap who would. He’s a Greenie, so he believes that the end justifies the means. Any amount of lying is permissible in the service of Mother Gaia, or Mr Christopher Huhne.

    • 53
      Selohesra says:

      Cartoon does not make sense – is the woman his ex wife in which case he would not be groping her or is it his new woman in which case he would have no reason to suspect she was wired. Try again! – on second thoughts please don’t

    • 56
      Jane Pilgrim's Strapon says:

      Mark and Rich are usually on the money. This is a good cartoon.

  3. 5
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I was wondering why D-S-K looked just like Chris Huhne did last week, until i saw the tag.

  4. 6
    revolting yoof says:

    According to you he was going to resign yesterday.

    Getting shriller as you straddle the barbed wire.

  5. 8
    MrAngry61 says:

    Just character assassination. Attack him over what he’s done, not what you wish he’d done.

  6. 10
    nell says:

    Well if his ministerial career crashes he can always go back to being a second rate graudian journalist and know that sallyallley (according to her twitters) really rather likes him – guess that says everything.

  7. 12
    bad news says:

    Fucking hell, I thought I was saved this crayola crapola stuff this week.

    • 33
      Unhappy Monday says:

      I thought we were going to be spared this week, next week and every week.

      • 89
        Bald Old Git says:

        Despite their monumental exposure and clearly udoubted talent, R&M haven’t yet been snapped up anywhere else.

        I live in hope.

  8. 14

    Song title for you Guido

    Pink Floyd
    Dark side of the Huhne !

  9. 18

    “Just checking for wires dear”
    well you wont find any
    I Wax

  10. 19
    Silly Sally says:
    • 22

      All done yesterday !
      Do try to keep up you dopey tart !

      • 214
        Jacqui Smith says:

        You sexist! It took her a day to understand it. She is blonde you know

    • 27
      I don't need no doctor says:

      She has got to be the biggest waste of time ever. Stupid woman.

    • 31
      Doc Trough says:

      Show us yer bum.

    • 64
      Jane Pilgrim's Strapon says:

      Why on earth does anyone give this idiot the time of day. She only gets gigs on Question Time and 5 Live because she is married to the midget speaker. She is a complete lightweight fool.

    • 101
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      The Bercow’s are a well suited couple. He’s a berk and she’s a cow.

  11. 21
    Charlotte Harris says:

    My client,Chris Huhne vehemently denies ever having made this comment

    “I’ve never known how to take the Mother-in-law, so I usually vary it, sometimes doggy, sometimes missionary and every now and then up the arse…. “

  12. 23
    Fog says:

    Is it Huhne or Kahn? Or bogof week?

  13. 24
    John Gordon Brown, Intellectual Colossus, Economic Giant, Brick Dust Coated Tennants Can Trader says:

    Sarah….can I do my ploppy now!!

  14. 26
    Paul-Huhne says:

    Christopher Paul-Huhne was born in affluent west London to a Labour-supporting actress and Tory businessman.

    The ‘Paul’ was dropped some time between Westminster School and Oxford University where he studied Politics, Philosophy and Economics, grew his hair, wore a beret, befriended radical Marxists and spoke of one day becoming Labour Prime Minister – indeed, he dismissed Liberals as ‘intense, grey-looking people unlikely to be hampered by any formulated policies’.

    Even as a student, his principles seemed a little, well, flexible.
    He helped organise a university sit-in and was photographed wielding a park bench as his Marxist pals battered their way into a university building. But he was one of the few students able to afford his own car – a London black cab that he could drive in bus lanes (an early flirtation with bending traffic rules, perhaps?).

    • 129
      Susie says:

      So we can look forward to Charlie Gilmore being in government in 30 years time. These people should have been sent down without their degree at the time so they couldn’t do any further damage.

      • 209
        Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

        You can’t hold us back we are all of the same ilk. I call us ‘Politicopaths,’ meaning we become so obsessed with power that we believe we can get away with anything, and most of the time we do. Just look at me.

    • 150
      Socialism has murdered 150 million human beings pride says:

      In short he is a privileged twat who intends to remain privileged while the rest of us are plunged into darkness and poverty by the green shite he and his pals are pushing. I hope this car caper destroys him utterly.

  15. 34
    Sicknote says:

    Essex-based Tory peer Lord Hanningfield is due to go on trial accused of fiddling his House of Lords expenses.

    The 70-year-old faces six charges of false accounting.

    It is alleged that between March 2006 and May 2009 he submitted claim forms to the House of Lords which he knew were false.

    The charges are said to relate to overnight allowances for accommodation in London when records allegedly showed he was driven to his home near Chelmsford, Essex.

    The trial is due to take place at Chelmsford Crown Court.

    Lord Hanningfield was charged – under his name Paul White – in February last year

  16. 35

    sky news 94% of NHS managers
    think the NHS reforms are a bad idea
    Yes i agree
    where else will you get £800,000 for doing fuck all ?

    • 42
      Mornington Crescent says:

      94% of turkeys think Christmas is a bad idea, too.

      • 54
        Sir William Waad says:

        You don’t imagine that, whatever happens, they’re going to cut the number of NHS managers? These guys have had more than 60 years to entrench themselves behind bureaucratic minefields, barbed war and reinforced concrete. They support each other. They are untouchable.

  17. 36
    Socialist capitalism says:

    No surprise the global economy is up shit creek, when there is a lecherous old Socialist in charge of its bank.

  18. 38
    Quim says:

    The BBC are giving this story legs. It currently appears on the BBC news page half way down under politics, advertised as MP makes Huhne complaint. Why can’t they just leave the man alone, it’s clearly something from a long time ago when he had no hope of ever being a minister.

  19. 39
    ichabod says:

    Isn’t Nick Robinson the worst BBC chief political editor in memory; he so often barks up the wrong tree that it’s embarrassing. His attempt to change the emphasis on the Huhne scandal this morning ( ‘Today’ naturally) was so inept. Nick, a serious criminal offence may have been committed by a man who is now a cabinet minister; it is not a political issue ( ie his LibDem rivals plotting against him, or an ex-wife hoping to become more prominent in party politics–a bit of a slur that Nick), it is a law and order issue—and if you can’t see that Mr R. then really you are in the wrong job.

    • 85
      Hugh Janus says:

      I fear you are wasting your time. The ineptitude of people like Rick Nobinson is matched only by their own self-importance. Their arrogance is like a shield, protecting them from all criticism, constructive or otherwise.

    • 151
      Sarah Smith says:

      It is a law and order issue just like the ignored when Jackie Smith had parliament illegally searched

    • 186
      Southern Softy says:

      And tonight, Toenails is in charge of a “social experiment” on bbc1 where a community near Preston is allowed to let everything go to ratshit (well, dogshit anyway) to demonstrate the effects of the viscious cuts.

  20. 40
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    what is it with politicions that they cant keep thee mouths shut, We had the “cabs for hire” BS , then Vince and now Hunt.

    Democorcy is so over-rated!

  21. 41
    Sicknote says:

    Three reasons to respect the Liberal Democrats

    Chris Huhne

    Chris Huhne

    Chris Huhne

  22. 47
    Sir William Waad says:

    Rich and Mark haven’t worked out where her right arm is supposed to be.

  23. 48
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    For all those that slag of the cartoons as shit (Yes i am one) , this is Guido doing his part for the “Big Socitey”, He is keeping two unemployable “Cartoonists” of the dole. I for am proud of you Guido for buying into Daves “Big socitey” :-)

  24. 50
    Another thieving huhne says:

    Tory peer Lord Hanningfield to face trial over expenses

  25. 57
    Moley says:

    In Politics, like comedy, timing is everything.

    It was an act of crass stupidity for Cameron, (The Liberal cuckoo firmly entrenched in the Conservative nest), to choose this weekend to come out in clear and fervent support for Huhne and his lunatic policies.

    If Her Majesty’s Opposition can now do its job, defend the jobs of the present and future workers it purports to represent, and ensure that Parliament properly debates the Conservatives determined attempt to commit economic hara kiri, they will do the country and themselves a huge service.

    The putative failures of judgement regarding Forestry privatisation and NHS reform are totally dwarfed by Cameron’s own personal failure. The leader has shown by example that making a complete cock up requires a degree of skill and determination that is quite beyond the abilities of his Ministers.

    • 66
      He's Spartacus says:

      Calm down dear.

    • 67
      Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

      I wouldnt blame DC , More NickClegg as he is the leader of the Lib Dems, Dave is leader of the Tories, why do you think you dont see much of Alan Duncan and Bill Wiggin?

      • 147
        Selohesra says:

        There are more tory mps to choose from so can easily hide the worst out of view – poor old Nick has to promote whatever shite he was landed with irrespective of talent or indeed probity

    • 74
      Logan says:

      Cabinet ministers are always going to be attacked and have accusations of all sorts of wrong-doing hurled at them. If any Prime Minister of any party sacked every minister upon the mere accusation or inference of wrong-doing, then there would be no ministers left.

      IF it becomes established as a fact that Huhne conspired to pervert the cuase of justice by pressuring another person to lie and accept penalty points which rightly should have gone to Huhne, then his position as a Minister, and indeed as an MP (in my opinion) would be entirely untenable.

      At the moment these are merely allegations with a large degree of supporting evidence which should be tested in court.

      IF Huhne is charged with a crime, then he should stand down. IF he is then proven not guilty, then he may, unfortunately, be available to be reinstated. IF he is found guilty, then he should go to prison.

      • 110
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

        If he didn’t do anything wrong why has he gone into hiding. You would think he’d be all over the media issuing categoric denials and accusing the press of making up stories.

        There’s definitely something to this.

      • 136
        Isambard Brunel says:

        “If any Prime Minister of any party sacked every minister upon the mere accusation or inference of wrong-doing, then there would be no ministers left.”

        What a radical idea! When do we start?

        Frankly Huhne knows as much about energy as I do about the politics and economics of outer Mongolia.

        He is, actually WORSE than useless, because is intellectual laziness and overweening vanity force him to consider that its not actually his job to find out, either.

        Frankly we would have a better energy picture, and a lower carbon one, if politicians simply taxed carbon and washed their hands of interfering in it beyond that. And simply let the Market and the engineers employed by commercial companies get on and do what they do est. Calculate the cheapest and most efficient way of supplying it.

        • 166
          AC1 says:

          Why would you tax CO2? If anything Farmers should be taxed to subsidise petrol that is providing them with Airborne plant-food.

    • 199
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      If Her Majesty’s Opposition can now do its job….

      A very big IF, if you ask me! Anyway, what ever Macaroon and Co. does cannot be as bad as anything that Labour would do.

  26. 59
    Avram Grant says:

    I need a job now, i could draw funnier cartoon`s.

  27. 62
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Quite a good likeness of Strauss-Kahn I’d say. First class.

    • 70
      power corrupts says:

      Just think of it as two for the price of one.
      Huhne and his wife or Kahn and his maid.

  28. 71
    stun says:

    Is Dominique Strauss-Kahn a maid-up name?

  29. 76
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman. If the allegations are found to be correct, his career is finished. I will not lament his departure. Another puffed-up politician promoted way beyond his nominal pay grade. Despite our reputation to the contrary, the public is broadly accepting of marital infidelities. Perverting the course of justice is a wholly different matter. It is the cornerstone of our legal system and must be upheld without fear or favour. Those who seek to support his position by playing down the nature of this alleged offence are as complicit as the individual himself.

  30. 82
    Karma says:

    Rather ironic that Huhne called Clegg “calamity”. It’s been one calamity after another for the Huhney Monster.

  31. 84
    Postal Vote says:

    Can you transfer points by wire?

    Who cares, pension is in the bag by now …

    • 120
      Joss Askin says:

      What is his pension worth after just over a year of doing a fucking abysmal job and behaving like an utter c’unt?

  32. 87
    Can't be arsed says:

    Chris Huhne could be scrapped, Nick Clegg to say

    Chris Huhne could be scrapped and replaced by Billy Bowden, Nick Clegg will announce tomorrow.

  33. 88
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wanna be head of the KLF!

    • 93
      Sir William Waad says:

      You’re fairly ancient but you certainly can’t be justified.

    • 100
      is it says:

      i Hear there is a KFC that will take you on Gordon.

      Free Hot wings for all the social layabouts, discounts for immigrants – to be paid for by the next generation, and the one after that, and the one after that come to think of it.

      oh and it will be at your minimum wage.

      Only problem you may have is that you do actually have to turn up for this job

    • 203
      Another Engineer says:

      I think you’ve burnt a lot more than a million quid…

    • 210
      Tony Bliar says:

      You told us you were going back to teaching Gordon. Well go and do it. Remember ‘those who can, do, those who can’t teach’ and you certainly can’t.

  34. 90
    Remarkable says:

    Bbc news showed nhs bod who said he trusts Cameron over nhs reform.

  35. 91

    Shagger Khan

  36. 92
    Jane Pilgrim's Strapon says:

    Chris Huhne is innocent until proven guilty. Everyone is forgetting that. People are attacking a fine and honourable politician over something which may, or may not, have happened.

    Chris is currently working on the most radical green bill this country will ever have seen.

    Ignore the sniping and the vested interests Chris. Ignore Nick’s attack dogs. You are doing fine.

  37. 102

    Khan only wanted a bit of”Womb service”

  38. 103
    Bob Crow says:

    I call on da workaz 2 go onn stryk ovar Cris Hewn! I kno dat dont mak no cents but ooh carez?! Stryke!

  39. 114

    If people didn’t have cars
    they wouldn’t get done for speeding !

    • 169
      Engineer says:

      They would – for riding their horses too fast. Oh, and we’d be having huge debates about what do with all the horse-droppings. Happened before in London in the late 19th century. Nothing new.

      • 180
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        We could dry it out and burn it
        to keep our lentils simmering in the winter

        • 187
          Engineer says:

          Lentils? Ha! You’ll be lucky – we wouldn’t be able to afford to import them. You’ll be on turnip and parsnip broth, and like it….

  40. 115
    Because Labour did so well on the NHS, didn't they? says:
  41. 132
    confused says:

    Dragged from a plane

    That’ll teach the frogs not to cheer when we kill a terrorist

  42. 149
    DSK says:

    Gougloute-moi le poireau, SVP.

  43. 161
    global news says:

    What do you call those who indulge in planking?


    • 191
      Charlie 'hic' Kennedy says:

      Lying face down in an usual place ? Sounds like a normal afternoon to me.

  44. 162
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Ireland is spending 30,000,000 euro’s on the queens security
    good fuckin job we lent em a few quid then !

  45. 167
    Gordon Brown says:

    Bunga bunga with me.

  46. 168
    Billy Bowden is the greatest umpire ever ! says:

    I reckon this is a plot by Tories and labour to wipe the Lib dems off the map and return to the two party system. First Laws, then Vince, The Laws again and now Hunt.

  47. 171
    Eric Illsley says:

    My botty hurts.

    • 205
      Sarah Smith says:

      That will teach you not to hire a prossie to stick a dildo up yer bum like (name redacted)

  48. 189
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Dave goes into yet another conflict in Libya with our armed forces butchered
    by cuts
    and to pay for it he is looking for yet more armed forces cuts
    Wanker !
    Stop giving all the money away to the Feckin EU and countries with nuclear weapons and space programmes
    you knob !

  49. 196
    Ed Balls says:

    Mr Strauss-Kahn was obviously displaying classical endogenous growth.

  50. 200
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m 200th! Fizzy orange time!

  51. 204
    Result! says:

    Police investigate Chris Huhne speeding points claims

    • 211
      Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

      Don’t worry Chris. It will be covered up. I have got Grand Lodge on the job.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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